oh my goshh i cant even explain, so cute! i think you could add a bit more to the dialogue but other than that, it was well done!

Author's Response: Honestly, I didn't think that the one-shot was that cute until it got to the part where James was asking Lily out. Still, I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

Being told to add more dialogue is, honest to God, the very first time that I've heard someone say that to me. Usually I'm being told to add more description to go with the dialogue.

Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

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Awww that was really cute!!! I love Sirius and Sam, and I think a sequel would be really cute!!! I think the only thing you should work on is tenses, because I think you meant it to be present tense, but you have a bit of past in there too, but other than that it was great!!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot. I know I messed up with the tenses : and I'm currently working on a short story about Sam and the Marauders. So check it out when you can. :)

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... That is cuteness overload if I've ever read it. Lily and James are my ALL TIME FAVORITE ship and I loved how you wrote this. I love Taylor Swift, I love Crazier, and I loved this fanfic. It was short and sweet and I like how it showed the evolution of their relationship over time, and just... perfect. This is definitely the kind of romance every girl wants!!
xoxoxoox
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Squee! Lily/James is my OTP too! Thank you so much for the beautiful review :D

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I actually love Charlotte!!! She is the perfect amount of crazy and humorous and just AMAZING! I find her to be the absolute greatest person ever, and if I knew her, I'd worship her (in a totally non creepy way of course) but besides that, I LOVE YOUR STORY! I love Sirius/OC's and I think you are writing yours so well, from Sirius' feelings to the Marauders and Lily, I think you are doing a perfect job! I love Everly, she's so cute and adorable and she's like a mini-angel, and i love her sense of humor. I think she's perfect, and you write her and Sirius so cute together! When you wrote about them talking until morning, I honestly had a cute overload and just had to take a break because it was SO CUTE! I guess by now, you've realized how much i love your story, so i need to ramble no further!! Byezzie bye!!!
RavenclawWayToBe xoxoxox

Author's Response: I am so flattered right now, like beyond words. I inspired a Cuteness Overload! My life is complete! Hahaha. Thank you sososo much for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up soon. Thanks again! :D

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I really loved this! I loved that you wrote it in the perspective of a 6 year old and I think you did an amazing job with it! Darcy is sooo cute and I think Teddy was really nice too! A great one shot!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love writing Darcy, and think I'm going to stick with her character for future stories... If you want to, I have other stories you can check out, too!
Cassie :)

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Addressing your author's note, I LOVE George's grilling on Wyatt. I honestly think it's quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard, and it reminds me of my own dad. I love Theo, but I really want James and Coco to get together, so he's kinda pissing me off. I mean, I'd date him, but Coco just has to be with James. I really hope that by the end of this story, you can fix Bailey and Corinne's relationship because I don't know what I'd so without my sibling, and I think they're so important in life, that they should really make amends, even if they are not the closest, I hope they can at least be friends. Hmm... I've never read a fanfic that depicts Rose like you do, and I think Scorpius is right. She shouldn't be faking her personality the way she is, and I (like you) think that everybody should be able to just be proud of themselves. Rose shouldn't think she has to change, just because that's the way society tells us we should be. I hope that she'll find her way, even if it takes time. And finally... James and Corinne. Although I've said it before, I'll say it again. I think they are 100 percent perfect for each other. I really love how you made James a deeper character than just 'son of Harry Potter, cocky, but with a hidden heart of gold' (AKA his usual stereotype). You wrote him with actual problems and things of his own that he needs to overcome. I love that he realized what he had done to Corinne and I believe he is truly sorry for his mistakes. Also, I love that you're slowly breaking Coco down, making her understand more that James is human, just as she is. She has problems and so does he. I really want them to get together! I think the fact that she gave him the bottle for Christmas and she's kind of letting go of what she once thought of him. She's giving him another chance. I really love your story!!! Please keep writing!!!
xoxoxoxo
RavenclawWayToBe
(PS sorry for the long review, just thought I'd let that all out.)
(PSS, I know it was a couple chapters ago, but when you wrote the whole 'YOLO' moment, I almost died. I freaking love saying YOLO at the stupidest moments, because I think it's just so dumb, but I love it anyways, you know what I'm saying! Anyways, that's all!!!)

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you like the George grilling. I figured it'd be realistic considering Fred and George were pretty protective over Ginny in the hp series. And it's good you love Theo. But I don't think he's really doing anything that is hindering James and Coco from getting together. He's just there as a friend, because him and Coco definitely don't want to start anything up again.

And don't worry! It's definitely important for me in the story to try and address Bailey and Corinne's issues. So, I will do my best to try and make them more understanding of one another.

And yay! That makes me so happy that you haven't seen Rose depicted the way I depicted her! But yes, she definitely is struggling with not knowing who to be anymore.

But OMG you flatter me too much! I'm so flattered you think I made James a deep character, because let me tell you it's been kind of a nightmare to write him. And I'm glad you like the slow breakdown I've been doing of Corinne to get her to understand James. I know it must be annoying for some of my readers for how slow the pace goes in this story, but I thought it'd be unrealistic to just have Corinne suddenly forgive and forget after a few exchanged words.

I'm so so happy you like my story and thank you SO much for a lovely review :)
-Rebecca

ps. Don't apologize for long reviews. They make my world go round, seriously.
pps. Ahh yes, I wrote the YOLO scene because my guy friends had actually done the same thing where they would convince me not to do work by saying YOLO and I'd end up getting sooo behind on it. I blame them for everything.




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That was super cute! I thought the ending was hilarious (in a good way obviously!) I liked that you developed their feelings before and at the end it just all comes out. It was well done!
RavenclawWayToBe
xoxoxox

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I like this. It's super cute. I love her dad's sense of humor, and I think she has a really great personality. Keep writing!!

Author's Response: thanks so much! your review means so much and i'll be sure to post another chapter soon!

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Even though this was short, i think it was amazing. I feel almost the same as that often, like life is just going too fast and you have to let things go, even when you don't want to. I think the emotion was perfect, how could you leave somewhere that basically defined your life?! I think you wrote this story beautifully, it flowed extremely well and it was graceful (how that describes a story, I will never know) I think that this was wonderful and perfect.

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Okay I know I probably dumb asking this, but it was about Peter right? Even if it's not, I really liked it. You put alot of emotion into it, and also I liked that you used the same idea of survival throughout it. The only thing I would say to improve upon would be to just clarify the idea of who the people are a bit more. But other than that, very well written!

Author's Response: Don't! It's just a bad habit of mine not to let the reader know who they're reading until the very end :)
I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!

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This piece was incredible! I think you did such a wonderful job writing Regulus and his death. I really loved that it was about him, and I also loved that you had a bit of backstory too. I think that this was just perfect. And I love Sirius, but this really shows that Sirius was always taught that he was better than Regulus, and it ruined their relationship. ALSO, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE times 10298492 the song Shake It Out and I couldn't believe what a great job you did with it! This story was seriously perfect. Amazingly done!

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for saying that! :D I love Sirius too, and I think that he's definitely played a lot of part in moulding Regulus into who he is and why he would want to rectify his wrongs. I think that part of their relationship is beautiful. And I only started listening to it because of this challenge but now I LOVE IT TO!! it's so good omg lol and such inspiration. Thanks for leaving a review btw!! :D

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I'm a sucker for cheesy romantics, and honestly, this was great. I've actually pondered writing a Lily and James for this song, but I can never find a good way to write it, but clearly you did. This song and just, this, just, I can't even. It was great and SOOO CUTE AND ADORABLE AND I JUST CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN.

Author's Response: I JUST CAN'T EVEN /BEGIN/ TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH THIS MADE MY DAY.
Seriously.
I was SO happy when I found I had a review and then when I read what the review actually said... well, I guess the huge grin across my face can explain the rest ;)
Thank you so much!

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That was beautiful. Gorgeous. Astonishing. I don't think I have enough words in the English language to even describe it. I liked the way they got together, I think you wrote Lily incredibly well; but what really got me was the ending. Those last 3 paragraphs took my breath away. I just find it so cruel for Lily and James to be torn apart, and your story was just perfect. There were literally tears in my eyes. Amazing.

Author's Response: Oh ma God, wow, thanks :D I didn't think it would get people like that, and to be honest, I didn't think it was that good, but I guess you proved me wrong! Thank you so much :)
LilyLuna xx

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This was very well written. I think you definitely captured the emotions of grieving very well. Also I liked that you had James have that 'change of heart' where he decided to be brave and strong. I definitely think that that is something James Potter would do, and I think that this could easily evolve into a short story, combining his new outlook on life (so to speak) with how he got Lily. I think that would be really well done if you wrote it! Anyways, your work is wonderful, I could definitely understand what James was feeling and I think you had a great way of writing his emotions!

Author's Response: thank you so much (: your review made me so happy hehe

yeah, i didn't think that james maturing was something that happened over night so there had to be a reason why he slowly got more mature and everything.

actually, i have a load of one-shots about the marauders and this one-shot was originally supposed to be longer but then i had the inspiration to write a full-lengthed Marauders fanfic sothese one-shots are a preview/snapshot of. i just didnt want to put that in the title or summary anywhere just yet in case i change my mind.

im so glad that you like it! thanks for reading and reviewing! you made my day better! (:

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I really did like this! I was so worried that she would actually do it just to be with him, but i liked that you made him save her like that. I think that you wrote it well, 2nd person is definitely hard to write, but you did a good job! You captured the mood well in my opinion and i liked that at the end she had hope. Well written!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I wanted to show that even when life gets really, really tough there is a way out, I'm glad you liked how it finished.
This was very hard for me to write so I appreciate that you liked it.
Thanks for the review! :)

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This was a cute one-shot! I really liked it! I liked that you incorporated the whole 'happily ever after' aspect in it! Also, I love the winter seasons and i think that if anyone were to ask me out, it'd be awesome if it was snowing. So that just made me like it so much more! Good job!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was really worried it would be too cheesy!


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I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THAT WHOLE THING WITH 'YOU MISSED' MADE MY LAUGH UNTIL I CRIED!! :') ANYWAYS.. AWAY FROM MY SPAZZOUT... i liked your story! I think it went well with the song and the plot line was good. It was a well written songfic, especially because they can be really hard to write but i think you did a good job!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

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Your story is awesome!!! I liked that you made her sister named Joy and that she lost it, and Faith was her name, but she has none. I think that was really clever! Also, the thing with James, i really wanna know what happened! Was she actually thinking about suicide, because i understand where she was coming from but i wish she wasn't because that's such a horrible way to fix her problems. I think you captured her emotional state in such a fantastic way, how she puts on a face for others, when really she is slowly dying on the inside. I cannot wait for the next chapter of this story! I LOVEEE IT! never EVER stop writing! :D
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That has to be he nicest review I've gotten :) Chapter five should be up soon and I've almost finished writing six. I'll have a flashback about what happened with James eventually... but until then, it's a mystery!

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This story was amazing. It held so much power and emotion and you could tell. The summary hooked me in right away, and i love your banner. They way you defined suicide at the beginning really set the tone of the story well, and i loved that you wrote the many emotions of his loss. I don't know why, but when you wrote 'I think you killed Hugo' I started balling my eyes out. Your story was just so amazing and yet so dark, it was powerful, it was amazing. Never stop writing.
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

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That was beautifully written. I loved that you wrote it from his perspective and he's watching everything play out. I definitely cried during the whole thing and the part that hit closest to home was when they put things in his coffin. I did the same thing for my loved one when they passed, and i understand the emotion that everyone felt. I loved at the end how he told Rose he never buggered off, and that he waited for her to come and meet him again. This story was amazing, never stop writing
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Oh my Rowling... I never made someone actually CRY! That's amazing! The last funeral I'd been to was when I was either 3 or 4, so I don't remember it well. So I tried to make it as I would imagine a funeral. You have no idea what this review meant to me. Thank you so much!!!
slytherindraco

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I am actually SOOO in love with this song right now, and when i saw that you wrote a song-fic on it, i knew i had to read it. I've been listening to this song on repeat for like 3 days, and i think you wrote the story very well to the lyrics of the song. I liked at the end after she tells him she loves him you only put 'I'll love you for a thousand more', i think that was clever and well placed. This story was so cute! Keep writing!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: oh my god thank you sooo much! that is such a great compliment. glad you like my writing! im thinking of writing a sequel, but i need to find a good song for it. either that or ill do a one-shot...not entirely sure yet. i know right! this song is amazing. so beatiful. thanks again!
~harrypotterluver123

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The way you wrote the idea of her love never ending but the trust weakening was very powerful. Love is a strange emotion, one that i don't think ever ends, because when you love someone, you never really let them go. You still have the good memories, even if there are bad too. The way that you wrote her emotions was wonderful, the way that she cannot grasp that he would have done that (because we know that he actually didn't!) because of the happiness he brought her was amazing. What really struck me from your story is that she never took off the ring, and I loved that you wrote 'I know it's not healthy, But I can't" because I think that that's a very powerful line, and really it tells the whole story that she just can't seem to let him go. This was a very inspiring piece of writing! Never stop!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: aww :') i'm glad that you liked it so much. I know, I love Sirius so much I just put myself in the place of his fiancee (he MUST have had one!) and i came up with that. I'm really glad, thank you! xxx

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This story was really well written. This was definitely an original story, and i really liked it. I think you wrote Luna magnificently, the way that she has always seen things differently, how she never judges others, and how she always seems to understand much more than others would. I think the way she immediately took him in was definitely something Luna would have done. I loved the way you wrote Regulus, as though he was not quite dead and not quite alive, living a half life almost. I loved that you threw in a bit of the Sirius-Regulus plot, really connecting it together. The connection between Regulus and Luna was amazing, and you wrote this story amazingly. Keep writing!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

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Awww! That was such a good ending!!! I thought this had the perfect amount of teenage romance, but it wasn't like, OH MY GOSH, I JUST MET HIM FIVE MINUTES AGO AND I TOTALLY KNOW WE ARE GOING TO BE FOREVER TOGETHER JUST BECAUSE HE LOOKED AT ME, because that really bothers me, but yours showed that there is more emotion underneath that, and it also showed a good perspective from a slytherin (in my opinion). I liked your original character, she was unique and i think you wrote her very well. This story was great, keep writing!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I too hate that WE'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER BECAUSE blah blah blah... stuff, I just can't write it, it's so unrealistic. I'm really glad you liked it.

Loyal HP fan
-Luvshunforever

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Hehe, i really like this. It's so cute and it accompanies the song perfectly :D i fell in love with this song after reading your fanfic and i think it fits perfectly! It was really well written!
xoxo
RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: thank you :) I love the song sososo much and i love Rose/Scorpius sososo much, so its only logical that they go together :)

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