Reading Reviews From Member: SammIAmm
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Review #1, by SammIAmmWelcome to the Chase: chapter.nineteen - Catch.

30th June 2011:
I absolutely love this story! I've read it twice in the last couple of weeks, and it has become my favorite on the site. :D That being said, I NEED more of it! I need to know what happens next! Does Blue Eyes win over Emma? Does Sleazy act on his creepy/threatening threats (I hope not, although I suppose it would make for good drama)? Does Burly stop being a total creepster around Dom? Does Gryffindor win the first match against Hufflepuff? DO AL AND ARIADNE FINALLY GET TOGETHER?! Because it seems obvious (to me, at least, although I could be wrong) that he likes her back. Honestly, I would love to be able to see it all from his perspective. I think it would be fascinating.

The only things I think could be improved are:

a) the whole "me and..." thing. I'm a grammar nerd (I want to be a book editor, so... yeah. I'm weird), so I'm slightly OCD about things like this. Also, my dad calls my sister out on this same thing all the time, so I notice it a lot. *shrug* Generally, it should be Blahblah and I or Whatshisface and me, depending on the sentence, whereas you've been writing me and [insert name here].

and b) I feel like there's a slight over-usage of the sentences where EVERY. WORD. IS. PUNCTUATED. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good technique, but it would be more effective if used more sporadically.

But, like I said, those are the only things about this story that I think are anything less than stellar, and they're relatively small, so... yay? :)

On a more complimentary note, I think Ariadne is a wonderful character. She's obviously a bit insane, but in an endearing way; it's never too over the top. She's wonderfully entertaining, and she is selfless, no matter what she said to... I believe it was Blondie? She's also smart and perceptive, which is a nice contrast to her crazy side. And she's really funny! Like I said, I like her. :)

As for this chapter, as usual, I loved the interaction between Ariadne and Albus. That last scene on the Quidditch pitch was just, for lack of a better word, magical. It's most definitely my favorite serious scene so far, although I'm also a huge fan of the comedic parts.

It's late and I really need to go to sleep, so I probably forgot something. If I remember anything later/tomorrow, I'll just add it on, if that's possible (this is my first comment on HPFF, so I don't really know how everything works. Also, honestly - I swear on Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyes that this is the truth - the only reason I became a member was so I could favorite this story. That's how much I love it!).

I hope you enjoy long comments. :p


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