Poor Oliver! I really didn't want to read this chapter because I knew what was going to happen. I'm so sad reading it. I feel awful for him. But bless him for being so gracious to Diggory.
I'm really intrigued as to what the letter home is. I cannot wait to read more. I wonder whether it has anything to do with the Dementors, and what he hears every time they come near him? Or maybe it's something else? Hmm...I wonder? So many questions.
I hope you write another date soon... I think he needs something to cheer him up. Sorry that this review isn't long, but I feel like I'm repeating myself by saying that this story is so good. I cannot find any flaws...well apart from the fact that nothing really happy has happened for him yet.
I liked the interaction between him and Percy too by the way. It was unusual that it was Percy who stayed up to talk to him. It was a nice change.
I cannot wait for an update. Apologies that it took so long. I'll try not to get that busy in future. =]Author's Response: Sorry for such a late response!
I know I felt bad writing this chapter but I'm thinking of expanding it along with some of the others.
Ha you shall see the letter in the next chapter!
He'll get another chance at a date with Robin soon, poor thing he does deserve something happy XD
Yeah I wanted to show that Percy isn't a complete git I mean somewhere in there was a nice guy. I'm hoping to update this more often over the summer :) Report Review
Hey there again. I am so sorry for how long it has taken me to do this... I've had exams so I've been busy, but I'm here now...and this time I promise to finish reviewing for you.
Another great chapter again. It's so weird reading things that we read in canon but from a completely different perspective. I love it. I thoroughly enjoy reading this story, and I must say I am truly grateful that you introduced me to it.
Yet again, Oliver was sublime as a character! I think all of his interactions are perfect as I can imagine them. I can truly imagine how much he panicked when he discovered they were no longer playing Slytherin. I can also imagine him being really shy and socially awkward when it comes to the ladies.
The interaction between him and Robin made me laugh, which was a nice change from the last chapter.
I truly love this story. Your writing is fab! I cannot wait to read more, and please do keep me updated on the story. I'm intrigued to see how it develops in the future. =]Author's Response: Hello sorry for the late response XD between my school work and Nano I have almost no time left over so it's okay for you to be late.
Really thank you I'm happy you enjoy this story, I'm dying to write another chapter. You don't know how happy it makes me to see that you like Ollie, I thought he was unlikable. Especially since he's usually portrayed as this confident jock-y type.
Don't worry I'll keep you updated :) Thank you for the review :) Report Review
I truly apologize that this review took so long to get around to doing. I've had exams, so I've been so busy lately...but finally they are done and I am here!
It was a little cliche to be honest...but that said I think secretly everyone loves a little cliche story, and it's very easy to put in a huge twist if you don't want it to be cliche, so if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about it being cliche in any way because you can always change it.
I think originally Harry was a little OOC, however I think his exchange with Ron changed my opinion on that, as it seemed very natural and I could genuinely imagine it happening. I like that Selena wasn't a part of Malfoy's group. It made it a little different to the usual, which was a very good addition.
The plot so far seems very good, even if it is cliche. I cannot wait to see what happens next. I think the addition of an Author's Note is brilliant, so don't change that! Also, there were no grammar or spelling mistakes that I spotted.
Great job, feel free to request a review anytime. =]Author's Response: Thank you for the great review!
Yeah, I can see that the story is pretty cliche. I guess all of my stories tend to come with a little extra helping of cheese :)
I will, hopefully, put a pretty big twist in the story later, but this early on I don't really know where it's taking me yet.
Oh, I have got to fix my Harry! I can never write him quite right. I'm glad the exchange with Ron was okay. I do take a little pride in my Ron. He's one of the cannon characters that I feel I can write well.
Thank you for the kind and helpful review! I totally understand how time consuming exams can be and I'm glad you took the time to read and review :) Report Review
I have one huge issue in this chapter. Is Dai a significant character? There just seems to be new characters being introduced into the plot all the time, and I'm finding it a little confusing. I mean, what's happened to Sophia? Is she still around? I think perhaps sticking to a few significant characters, otherwise it may get a little confusing for people like me.
Negatives out of the way, I think this was again such a lovely chapter. I am very very very sad though. I told you that I would be if their date was awful. Guess what? I'm crying! That was the worst date I've ever read. (Not because of your writing just to clarify) You know it's an awful date when you don't even get to the date part! I feel so bad for the two of them. They were both definitely looking forward to it, and it's such a shame that it had to be ruined. I'm so sad!
However, I suppose there is always hope as she has told him that he owes her a date. I only hope that if they do go on another date, it turns out better than this one did.
So far the characterisation is fine. Honestly, it seems to come naturally to you, and I think you've planned Oliver brilliantly. I cannot emphasize enough how much of a great character he is...and he's so likable! Keep up the great work! =]Author's Response: Dai will be significant, in the sense that she's Robin's best friend. As for character introductions that'll be it.
Yeah I tend to write bad first dates XD but hopefully they'll get another shot especially since I'd like to see who asks who out. Thank I always thought my Ollie lacked "POW" you know and these reviews make me smile, aww of course he's likeable I mean it's Oliver :P (PS: sorry to make you cry lol) Report Review
Well well well, isn't he a complicated cookie. Firstly, I must say I feel bad for Sarah...but...not that bad...Oliver got himself a date! I am actually currently dancing I'm that excited! Though, it wasn't with Sophia as I wanted. Still, I will forgive you.
I wonder how their date is going to go. I hope it's a nice one, and that you don't make it awful. This would make me sad again.
I really like Oliver as a character. I think you portray him very well. You seem to have great knowledge of how you want him as a character which I think is something very rare. You seem to know every intricate detail about him, which makes him so believable in this story. I definitely think it was believable that he was nervous about asking her on a date, yet was completely elated when she agreed.
I liked that you included chivalry again too. I seem to like that side of him as it was not something we saw in canon. I think you've developed that side of him very well.
Also, I liked the inclusion of the letter from his mother, though I do wish it had been longer. It gives a rare insight into how life is at home for him, and I for one would love to know what that life is like, though knowing my luck, I've written this and it will be in the next chapter, and then I'll feel silly.
I didn't see any issues or bugs in this chapter (yay!) which has made me an incredibly happy bunny! =]Author's Response: Sorry about this being a complicated cookie XD I don't like Sarah so I don't feel bad for her :P No it won't be an awful date I promise :P You know what now that I will take the time to edit this story I will make that letter longer because I rarely write his home life. (I thought my version of Ollie wasn't as obessesive of Quidditch as in the books so I was worried about him but I'm happy to see that you think I have a good grasp on Ollie!)
I'm happy your a happy bunny! In fact now I'm a happy bunny or cat because I like cats better :P Report Review
Wow! Okay now.
So, I thought Sophia was the girl that he met in Diagon Alley when they were shopping...but now I don't think they are...are they? Perhaps I didn't read it close enough? Goodness, I am confused. Though I do think it's just me. I don't think my confusion is a reflection of your writing at all, so don't worry about it too much. I'll figure it out in the end.
I can't believe Sophia blurted out that his dad had an affair! What? I think it was right for Oliver to react in that way, as he does not seem the confrontational type in canon, and therefore it would have been unrealistic for him to confront his father about what had happened. I am very curious as to what the family life was like when it happened, and years later. I hope you write a little about it or refer back to it at some point.
I loved the inclusion of Charlie Weasley's influence on him too. It was nice to see that Oliver admired that he was fair and hard-working. These are qualities we later see in Oliver, so it makes sense that he would have been under a captain with the same qualities. I think this was very well thought out on your behalf so I commend you for it.
Robin? Well hasn't this just thrown a spanner in the works. I was hoping for a little romance between Sophia and Oliver...but now Robin is in the equation. I don't know who I'm rooting for here! Please just end my misery and tell me which one he falls for, as I'm assuming it is not both of them...or is it? I don't think I could handle that either to be perfectly honest!
There are so many twists and turns in the plot, yet none of them are unrealistic. I think Oliver so far has been brilliantly written, and very well thought out, and I definitely think that you should be proud of the work that you have written so far, for it is brilliant! =]Author's Response: Hello! Sorry I'm taking so long to respond XD
But between revision and coming up with a decent response I'm lost.
No the girl for the alley wasn't Sophia, lol sorry for the confusion.
Sophia thought he knew poor thing, I thought it would too dramatic to get him to confront his father. I will refer back to it at some point don't worry.
I had to include Charlie! What kind of Ollie fic would it be if I didn't mention him :P Thank you I always thought Oliver admired Charlie.
Lol don't we'll see who he falls for soon ;) Thank you for taking your time to review :D *blushes* and for your compliments. Report Review
Hey, sorry it's taken so long, I've had exams to study for and stuff. This is the first proper break I've taken, so I thought it was about time I caught up with this. I hope you forgive me?!
Is the beginning of this chapter meant to be the same as the last one? I will admit I only skim-read the first part as I thought it was the same, so I sincerely hope that it is...otherwise...well I'm going to feel daft to say the least. If it was, why? If not, then yeah, it's similar/the same.
The whole Diagon Alley scene was incredibly adorable. I can imagine Wood as a character defending people in that way, so I don't think it was too unrealistic. Also, the fact that he was raised in a magic family helps, as he knows the meaning of the word, which is similar to canon.
I love that they are still friends when they get on the Hogwarts express, though I do wonder whether that will change now they are in different houses? I hope not. I would be sad, and cry, and eat chocolate then become obese...and all because they are no longer friends. You may want to bear that in mind...some chapters may need editing after you read this review...haha!
I think the only thing which bugged me in this chapter is why Sophia was alone in Diagon Alley? Please tell me you had a reason for this, as otherwise it is just confusing.
Sorry for the ramblings. Overall I think the developments of Oliver's character so far are alright, and none of it had been unbelievable. Great job so far! And once you again my sincerest apologies for how long it's taken me to get around to doing this again! =]Author's Response: Hey it's okay I took a long time to respond XD I've had homework and exams and such XD
Yes the beginning is the same but I didn't mean it XD God the mistakes, well that was a bit embrassing I admit :P But thank you for pointing it out.
No I love Sophia too much to abandon her, and I'm editing the story to include more Sophia and Elliot scenes (so no need for that chocolate lol)
I think I made a mistake Sophia wasn't alone in Diagon Alley it was Robin, which means this chappie needs a lot f editing! Thank you for your review and sorry for taking so long to respond :) so no worries :) Report Review
Two issues in this chapter, so I'll get those out of the way before I move on to the positive stuff. The first is that I was a little confused as to who was speaking and to whom at the beginning of the match before people had kicked off. It may have been just me, but I was really confused by it.
The second was that this sentence was repeated twice, one right after the other:
That day for the first time the children of the north won a Quidditch game.
You may want to just check that, as I know you are going through some editing at the moment, or it says so in the summary. Besides that there were no other issues.
Once again, I cannot really comment on Oliver's character as such. He seems a very pleasant character which is something we know him to be...though he does seem a little doubtful, which I'm sure anyone wanting to prove themselves would be at the beginning. Of what I can see he hasn't done anything that I would consider OOC yet, so I think so far his character is fine.
None of my questions have been answered yet! I sincerely hope that they are. If not I may just keep asking them until you tell me? Only kidding, but yeah, I hope you explain some of them at least in the next few chapters.
I like the time line of the plot so far, especially the way you focus on certain time periods in his life. I'm hoping that you continue to do this, as it's quite refreshing to see how he develops yet remains as passionate about Quidditch. Also I love that he practiced over summer. I thought that was very sweet!
=]Author's Response: Hullo! Nice to see ya :)
Oka saw the two issues, and re-read the chapter so those will be tackled as soon as my editing commences XD (hopefully this week!) Aww thank you I thought the timeline might be confusing but that's what the story will be doing focusing on certain periods of his life otherwise this project would be too big for little ol'me :P Thanks for the review! Report Review
I thought this was a very interesting introduction. Oliver Wood is not a character that we get to know much about in the books, so I always think it's nice when people write their own back stories for him as they have much more creative license.
Were his parents in hiding for a specific reason? Did Voldy come after them for a specific reason? Was he just trying to recruit them the same as lots of others? These are the questions that I hope you will answer...
I notice that the home of their grandparents is in the glen of Ravenclaw. This interests me greatly as I wonder whether this is connected to Voldy coming after them? Are they related to Ravenclaw in some way...or is it the same as Godric's Hollow???
So many questions needing to be answered...
As you mentioned in the thread, you were worried about Oliver as a character. I cannot be of much help in this chapter as we don't really see much of Oliver as we know him, so I don't think he can be OOC in any way. However, there was a nice inclusion of the flying and the broomstick there. I like that you included that, as we get to see where he develops his ambition for flying, though I do wish you had explained what it is he likes/liked about flying so much.
Sorry I could not be of more help in this chapter. Hopefully I can be in the next ones. =]Author's Response: So many question that I need to answer XD See I love this review because those questions are honestly things I never thought of! XD I am worried about Ollie as a character mostly because this fic wasn't as well planned as my other novel XD Thank you I thought the broomstick scene was something cute plus Oliver had to have his love for flying come from somewhere :) You were of alot of help thank you :) Report Review
Aww! What a sweet story. It is a little sentimental...however, I don't think it's a bad thing. In fact I think it is a very good thing. I don't think a story like this could work if there wasn't sentiment in it.
I loved the contrast between Snape's part and Sirius', though I do think you should have included an author's note to explain that Snape was italicized and Sirius was not, because I was originally confused when I first saw it. I think an author's note would prove quite useful. I love that in the ways that Snape hated Harry, Sirius loved him. I thought it was a nice way to include their feelings.
That said, the ending was perfect. The two of them willing to risk their lives for him because they loved his parents. I love that! It seemed a circular way to end things. Though Snape hated Harry, his love for Lily was greater and he would therefore protect him. Whereas for Sirius it was his love for Harry and James which became the reason he would protect him.
I also like that Snape couldn't bear to look at Harry because he was a reminder of James, whereas Sirius saw how much like Lily Harry is, and that was the reminder for him.
There were no spelling or grammar issues that I spotted.
To conclude then, I think the story is very sentimental, but I think it works to its advantage. I cannot imagine a story like this working if there was no sentiment to it. I think you've created such a nice story, which was lovely to read. I therefore don't think you should see the sentiment as a bad thing at all.
Apologies for the rambling. Thank you for allowing me to review your story, and introducing me to your writing. I hope to read more of your work soon. Until then... =]Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! And thanks for all those kind words about the story! :-)
It might be a good idea with a short explanation in the author's note, as you suggested. I will add that! Report Review
This was such a sweet chapter, which was honestly very lovely to read. The flow of it was perfect, though I do think you should have separated the section between the battle and when it was done, just to make it clearer.
There was one issue that bugged me which was:
He shook his head like he had water in his air
I didn't really understand what ^ that meant. Was the word air meant to be something else. It confused me a little. I wasn't sure whether it was meant to say ear, or head, so you may want to revise that.
I think you got the characters perfect. I think Neville and Luna are very sweet together, and I think you created great interaction between the two.
The only way that I would suggest you could improve is one, just to check that sentence again as it was very confusing, and two, perhaps to create a little more action within the chapter as not much happened which was a shame. I think perhaps you should have focused on the battle and how the two were feeling about the prospect of perhaps never seeing each other again.
That said, it was a very nice read and very enjoyable. I hope you found some of this constructive, and feel free to request a review anytime. =]Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for pointing out the typo - I'll have to go back and fix it.
CypressQueen Report Review
Well, didn't things just get interesting...well, more interesting anyway.
I'm a little confused as to why they are going to Hogwarts, but I guess everything will become clear in the next chapter, hopefully. I actually really want to read more so thank you very much for introducing me to it, and feel free to request reviews anytime in the future.
The flow again was brilliant, nor did I see any spelling or grammar, which makes me definitely think that the first chapter was a typo.
I think you should be careful of how much is going on though, as I thought this chapter introduced a lot of concepts, and perhaps gave too much of the future plot away...though admittedly I could be completely wrong.
That said, I think the plot itself is developing nicely. You seem to have put a lot of effort into planning this fic, and it makes me think you know exactly where it is heading, and what is going to happen in future chapters.
I hope the reviews helped somewhat, and I hope to read more of your work in the future. Thank you so much for requesting reviews, and introducing me to your story. =]Author's Response: Hogwarts is just the first of many stops for the Doctor and Angela!
That's actually surprising because I'm kind of making it up as I go...
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Well, I must say I loved the interaction between the doctor and the Queen. I thought that it was very well thought out, and very realistic too, with the doctor telling her to wait because he was busy. I must say I giggled a lot at that part.
Spelling, grammar and flow are very good. I don't see any negatives in those three within this chapter which is very refreshing.
I think you've got the character of the doctor completely spot on. He's very strange but completely witty and lovable. I really like him as a character, and the fact he's coming to save their world just makes me like him even more.
I am still unsure on the other characters, as I still think we haven't had much information about them, which definitely makes me wary of them.
The plot seems to be developing nicely, with a little bit more being revealed in each chapter. I think that it is a great way to introduce more concepts and plot as it creates mystery too, yet it isn't too hard to follow. Another great chapter again. =]Author's Response: I'm so glad I got the Doctor right. He's such a hard character to write...
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Hey there, sorry this took longer than expected to get around to...
Firstly I'd like to say that crossovers aren't usually my thing...though I confess this one has me completely intrigued. The amount of crossovers is a little intimidating though.
The flow of this chapter was brilliant. Everything seemed to work well together, and blend nicely from one thing into another. It is clear that you have put a lot of thought into this fic, and a lot of time and effort.
I'm unsure on the characters so far because well, let's face it, we haven't really been given much information about them. I wonder whether we'll get to know more, and I hope we get to know why the doctor returned.
The plot so far seems fantastic. I am thoroughly intrigued and desperately want to know what is going to happen, and what the doctor's cryptic warning actually meant. It's very exciting isn't it? Mysterious.
I only spotted one spelling error, though I definitely think it was a typo. It was:
Nothing major though, so don't worry about it too much.
So far so good. Next chapter! =]Author's Response: I wonder what blond air is? :)
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Hey there again.
Once again, I'm just going to reiterate that you should apply for a beta. I think it would be completely worth it, and it would improve the flow of your story so much too. It would also be great if as you could ask for ideas or help with particular plot areas.
I don't think Draco was very OOC in this. I think we all expect him to be a big meany, but we don't often see him with his friends, so we don't actually know what he is like away from the trio. I think it is plausible after the war that he did change, and I think we have creative license to do that, so overall I don't think he is OOC at all.
I do however, think that Rose is OOC. Though she has Hermione's intelligence, I do not think that an eleven year old would have the ability to understand the severity of the situation, especially the sensitive themes that appeared in this chapter. I think you should definitely consider whether someone of that age would truly understand what was being said to them.
I also think you should consider whether Hermione would have actually told Rose about the cheating and the miscarriage. I doubt that a parent would be willing to discuss that with their child while they were that young.
I think the plot is developing nicely and I cannot wait to see what will happen next, though I do think you should consider applying for a beta. I also think you should consider whether your characters know too much or are growing up too quickly.
Feel free to request again from my thread. Until next time, =]Author's Response: Hello again.
You spotted my difficulty! Rose is a tough character to write, especially with something as sensitive as this. But I think it could be possible and not very OOC at all- maybe just a bit. I'll think about it deeper. Though, eleven years old isn't too young in my opinion, though maybe I should have lessen the elaboration on Hermione's part to Rose. I'll look to it again.
Thank you for the review again. xD Till next time. ^_^ Report Review
Hi there, sorry it took so long. I've been a little busy.
I won't comment on the grammar as requested, though I would suggest you ask someone to beta it for you as it will make it much easier to read and less people will comment on spelling and grammar.
So far I'm really enjoying the plot. It is very original and works well with the summary and the challenge that you entered. I think you've done well with the summary you were given, and you've made it into a great plot.
I wonder whether Hermione is really with Draco? The characterization seems to be good so far, though I did have a few issues in some parts.
Firstly, I don't think Ron would have mentioned the custody in an absent minded way. I think he would have battled harder for his children and would have been riled that he couldn't see them any longer.
Secondly, Though I understand that Harry was meant to be all calm and stuff, especially now that he is an auror, I don't think he would have reacted that calmly to finding Ron in bed with Lavender. I genuinely think he would have been angrier and definitely highly annoyed with Ron after the article.
That said, I think that Ginny and Lavender are absolutely perfect. I think you've made them very realistic and I cannot wait for more interaction between the two as they both seem fired up. I love the battle between Ginny's feisty side and Lavender's bitchy side.
So far so good, but I definitely suggest that you get a beta to improve spelling and grammar, if that's improved the story should flow much better too. =]Author's Response: Hello, better late than never eh?
First of all, thank you so much for reviewing my story. I'm glad you think that it is really original. I try to keep it as unique as possible while still trying to stay true to the characters.
I'll be finding a beta soon, hopefully once I get onto few thing I need to arrange in RL, but anyway, I'm not a native speaker of English so that's to be expected. I hope it isn't much of a trouble.
Ron and Harry are characters I'm not sure about writing. I'm not really good with writing male characters, but hopefully when I got a beta, I could go over it again. xD But I'll keep what you said about it all in my mind. Maybe I could somehow find a loophole in it and stick it around somewhere in the story. :)
Your review is a great help. Report Review
Hey there, apologies this took so long, but I've had University work to catch up on, sorry.
I definitely don't think this idea is too out there. I think it is brilliant! I'm a huge pokemon geek myself, and I like that the wizarding world was exposed to it a little, even if it was only a few people who knew what pokemon was.
The chapter flowed very nicely and was very easy to read. I liked your characterizations too. I think that Pucey was a great character, though I would like to have known more about him, or delved deeper into his character.
I don't think you should have ended it in the way that you did. I don't think your ending was bad at all, but I think you could have easily made a sequel to this. =]
I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors either.
I think the plot was truly brilliant. I don't think it was too out there, and I think you've made it work perfectly. It does not seem too far fetched, nor is it impossible that a Slytherin should become obsessed with something that they had never been exposed to before. It was great! Such an uplifting enjoyable read. =]Author's Response: No problem! Thanks for getting to it and taking the time to review it.
I avoided giving too much character to Pucey in the beginning because I wanted to transplant the reader into his shoes, but as I wrote, he grew more into his character. In retrospect, a couple of blurbs about his familial life explaining his motivations behind liking Muggle things would have been beneficial.
While I did technically 'end' his timeline, I'm writing another story that is sort of a direct sequel to this. I like tying different challenges together.
Thank you for the great review again! Report Review
I actually saw this challenge, and was going to enter it myself...but I didn't in the end.
I think you did a great job at including the gemstone and it's meaning. I think it was very realistic that Ron would recall what the woman had told him instead of searching for it himself, so very well done for that.
Your characters are very realistic and I don't think any of them are too OOC, though I feel as though Ron would have panicked a little more than he did. I loved Hermione in it though, screaming at him. I can imagine her doing that.
I think the flow of writing was brilliant. It was very easy and very enjoyable to read. I would have loved to have seen more chapters too, though understandably it would have been difficult to incorporate the necklace into future chapters.
I think the way you have written the story is brilliant too. The idea itself is a very sweet idea, but I think it's made sweeter by the way you've written it, especially that you included Hermione wearing the necklace while she have birth, and that was the reason that they named their daughter. I think those extra little quirks make the story very unique and very squishy!
Cannot wait to read more of your work, of which I am already a fan! Feel free to pop by and request a review from the thread or PM me. =]Author's Response: Hi there!
Oh my goodness! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I am so glad that you enjoyed this! I was sad to find out that the challenge was closed.
I am glad to know that the gemstone worked well. I am also glad that the characters stayed true to themselves. I loved writing Hermione. That bossy attitude was so much fun to write because one minute she can be calm and sensible and the next she is the complete opposite.
Yay! I did well with the flow! I was worried that it maybe weird in the way that I wrote their love scene, but I went with the less is more rule and wasn't quite sure how it would transition between that and the nine months later. You have calmed my worries about this!
I have actually thought about ways to write other stories with the same necklace as a sequal, but if I do that it will have to wait until I am caught up on my three WIPS.
I really don't know what to say in response to this lovely compliment. I am so very happy that you thought that I did such a brillinat job with this. This has made my day!! =)
I am so happy that you're a fan of my writing!I will definitely request more reviews from you!! You've given me such much welcome insight!
-SR17 Report Review
well...that was an anti-climax...before you think of it as a bad thing let me explain...
In the last chapter, I reviewed very happy, thinking that George and Kat were finally going to kiss...so in this chapter immediately I notice said lack of kiss. Anti-climax I think. It made me very sad that there wasn't a lack of kiss. (I am not eating the chocolate cake that was on sale...comfort eating)
I think it's very interesting that her father has come back...especially as she said he wouldn't be impressed that she was playing Quidditch. I wonder what will happen there.
I am thoroughly glad that you introduced me to this fic, as it isn't something I would usually read, but I am very glad that I have!
There were no negatives in this chapter, flow was great again and no spelling or grammar mistakes. I personally cannot wait until you update again! Please tell me they kiss soon???
If ever you need/want a review again drop me a PM or check my review thread, I would be more than happy. Hope to review soon. =]Author's Response: Sorry about it being anti-climatic,,, the kiss comes up soon just it's not the right time.
Ahh her father we'll be seeing more layers of him soon (don't Thorfinn won't ever be the loving father she desires.) I'm happy you've enjoyed reading this fic and I enjoyed reading and responding to your reviews so thank you for stopping by.
Don't you'll be one of the first to read the kiss.
YAY! Finally! I am so unbelievably excited reading this! Yay! They had a moment! How squishy! I actually feel like running and jumping around I am that happy. I've not been this excited since...well admittedly it was yesterday (chocolate cake on sale!) but still.
Ok, now that's over and done with...
I'm really enjoying this so far. Your writing is as brilliant as ever, and the plot is developing nicely...though I still have no idea of where it is going to go. Your characters are perfect!
The flow of this chapter was much better than the last, though I think it's because you had less major events going on. I think you were able to focus more on the exchanges between Kat and George, which made it much nicer to read.
Also, I loved that he called her kitten! Squee! =]Author's Response: Thank you for your compliments :) Oh chocolate cake I want some XD Like bad!
Oh I re-request soon so you get to find out where the plot's headed True this was a lighter chapter hopefully during the summer when I can edit I'll try and make the last chapter heavy.
I love Kitty and George, they'd make a funny couple :P
Thank you for your reviews :) Report Review
What a strange chapter (in a good way!). So many things going on.
Their date was a little...disastrous wasn't it? It had me laughing hysterically, though it did make me want to punch Michael a little. I was surprised that the Slytherin's were nice to her. It's unusual to find that, so yeah, brownie points to you!
Pierre is a little odd too. I think because we haven't seen much of him, I don't know whether or not I can trust him, which then makes me think he's actually evil. This confuses me. Mostly due to my own fault though.
She lied...but George knew...how? Hmm...
Also, glad that you put which year they are in because I found myself being slightly confused in parts as to what year they were in, as you may have already noticed *blushes at her own stupidity*
=]Author's Response: Thank you...
Yup the date was meant to be disastrous, hey I write this and I don't like Michael but apparently Kats too immature to see past him (plus they're only fifteen.)
How did George lie? that too has and answer (I seem to like leaving unanswered question) lol it's okay I should've made the year clear :)
Pierre is odd but you'll learn more about him. Report Review
Well after the darkness of the other chapters, it was very refreshing to read this one as it was so fluffy.
I feel this chapter was a little more broken that the previous ones and it was difficult to follow at times. It didn't have the same rhythm and flow that your previous chapters had, which is a shame really because it was a very nicely written chapter.
I am actually gutted(I'm not sure if you know what that means; disappointed) that Kat and George aren't together! What are you doing to me?!
I also like that you manage to get a little development on family in each chapter. I think that's something you should definitely be proud of yourself for. =]Author's Response: lol I didn't noticed it was fluffy XD I'll look over the flow of the chapter so thank for pointing it out .
Sorry I didn't mean it! But them being friend helps even a little :)
Thank I do try to reveal some family secrets in each chapters because it builds up to what she has to face later on. Report Review
Hey, I'm back as promised.
Another great chapter in the story. I'm glad that Kat has started reading the journal. I wonder what use it will be though? So many twists and turns in this plot. It is brilliant!
I'm really really disappointed that she is dating Michael. I want her to date George! They seem perfect together! Why would you do this to me? haha!
As to your plot...every time I think I have something figured out, you seem to have a twist in your plot so I'm left guessing again. I think you are a very talented writer.
Again, flow and characters were brilliant. I am really enjoying reading this, and once again I thank you for stopping by my review thread.
I noticed an error (I think it was anyway)
Here it is:
what was left was their first kiss, which would include her first kiss.
You may want to just review that. =]Author's Response: Welcome back!
Oh I love doing the journal entries! I love twist aren't they fun lol
Yeah I think everyone has Michael in their life before they meet the right guy, thank you, you calling me talented makes me smiles and blush XD No thank you for reviewing and I only hope your thread keeps growing :)
I'll review that and thank you for pointing it out. Report Review
Aww...what a sad chapter. I'm glad you've kept most of the incidents the same as canon though. I would have been well and truly confused. Though admittedly I am left wondering why Harry isn't Gryffindor seeker.
I am still wondering where the plot is going, though I think I am starting to make a little more sense of it now than I was. As I have previously said, I don't think the confusion is anything too major to worry about.
I really want her and George to become a couple, though admittedly I feel bad for Fred because George is being secretive, I think Katherine needs someone reliable and George is such a sweetheart! I like that you've recognized that George is the softer of the twins. It pleases me.
On a note completely unrelated...apologies if I do not get to review all the fic tonight, but I promise I will get back to it as soon as I can. As a warning. =]Author's Response: I'm aiming to keep the story as close to canon as possible. Don't I am rooting for kat and George I think they'd have a funny dynamic which I can't wait to write!
He may be secretive with Fred but I'm pretty sure Fred sees right through it.
Thank you I have always thought of George as the softer twin and I'm glad it shines through.
*Harry is the Gryffindor seeker though I may have forgotten to mention it* Report Review
Argh I'm so confused by this story! It is just the plot that is confusing me. It seems to be developing and yet I have no idea what's going to happen, or why things are happening.
Why does her father dislike her? Why was she left a pensieve and her mother's journal? Stories like this really bug me (not in a bad way) because I'm so confused reading them, yet they are completely brilliant! I hope everything is explained soon or I may actually start pulling out my hair.
Again, flow and style are brilliant. Perfect. Superb. I genuinely cannot fault them. Spelling and grammar is good too. =]Author's Response: Sorry for the confusing XD I tend to show off things to slowly I think like in chapter 11 or ten I think we learn why is it that Kat's father hates her and why Egil left the journal and pensieve. Lol please don't pull your hair out!
And thank you for that last line it was flattering *blush* Report Review
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