Reading Reviews From Member: Hogwarts27
  
218 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: four

15th April 2015:
Hi. Some descriptive scene setting would help at the start of this chapter. It's a little disorienting to just be dropped into the dialogue with no idea of where or when this happens.

I agree with you that a lot of this was filler, at least the first half. But you can always edit it as you see fit later on, if you're not happy with it.

Gemma not Jenny - cute rant. I liked it.

The scene that peaked my interest was the scene with Molly prying. But it makes me wonder - if Gemma was in a muggle school until now, how can she possibly manage at Hogwarts if she missed 4 entire years of magical education. You mentioned she was at a genius school in chapter 1, but still. I suppose you have a premise to go on, or maybe you plan to rely on her genius abilities to make catching up possible.

Personal problems could be anything. But whatever it is, I think it's odd for it to have kept her out of Hogwarts, when it didn't keep her out of muggle school. First hint of a plot developing, so that's nice!

Author's Response: h again Horgwarts27
thanks for yet another review it means a lot to me
it probably could of helped with a bit of descriptive writing, I will go and change that.
I liked writing the rant bit, the only thing was, I wanted to use the other Genni but the computer kept changing it and I couldn't be bothered to get into a fight with a laptop

ah yes the fact that Gemma missed the first four years, she will catch up but that's part of the plot, I can say now that she got given old copies of books to read during the holidays so she would of read everything form the first four years

and the personal problems, now that is a very long mystery to everyone and thing other than me and the many spreadsheets and word documents (and the piece of paper at the end of my bed) that contain ideas, know.


from me xxx




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Review #2, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: three

15th April 2015:
Hi again. I enjoyed your author's note. Nice idea with the quotes.

This chapter didn't strike me as being too short at all. In fact, I think the long paragraph about about James and McClaggan could still be tightened up a bit and made more concise, if you ever edit. I think it's always better to let a chapter be short, than to put in worthless filler for word count. Once a chapter is sandwiched between other chapters, the readers really won't care about it's length, because they'll just go onto the next.

What this chapter could mostly use is better punctuation. I've noticed that you often get the punctuation wrong in your writing. Sometimes it's missing where it's needed, and other times you put comas where there really should be periods. It's just a technical point, but it makes a big difference to the overall writing flow, and ease of reading and understanding for the reader. If you're bad at doing punctuation yourself, you could consider getting a beta on the forums to proof-read for you.

'A memory I'll keep forever' - that line didn't strike me as a very realistic thing to say about someone Gemma hasn't even gotten to know yet. I think that phrase would make better sense if it were yelled out by someone who knew James well, so that Gemma could overhear it and be amused by it. But it's up to you.

I really enjoyed the sailing description, and the vivid comparison between sailing and flying. It was my favorite part of the story. When Gemma said 'I missed sailing', at first I didn't understand that she meant on a boat. I thought she meant sailing on a broom, so you might just make that first reference to boating clearer. But otherwise it was terrific!

I don't think this was a rubbish chapter. It was a short pleasant read. Mostly it just needs a punctuation clean up, and that's an easy fix. :)

Author's Response: hey thanks again for another review
punctuation has never, I repeat never, been easy for me, once in year 6 I was made to spend half an hour getting one semicolon in the right place and that was with my friends helping me


I think I will change that bit about the memory but it might take me a while because i'm quite busy at the moment

oh and I agree wit the james and mclaggen bit but I couldn't work out how to shorten it, but I will try


thanks again

from me xx


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Review #3, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Hermione Awakes

15th April 2015:
Great chapter again. I really enjoyed how Hermione was given the potion to make her wake up. And I appreciated the summary of what Harry still needs to do at the end. I wonder what's going on with the kiss at the end of the chapter. This is surely not Hermione's own behavior. It makes me wonder if this is Dara posing as Hermione, or whether it's love potion again.

Author's Response: Thank you again for your sparing time for this.

I think I like science so it may be easier to describe these potions scene than other things.

As you pointed, I need to do summary, and wonder how J.K.Rowling keeps writing without losing the prospects of her plot in her stories.
Some HP fans, especially who like Hermione, may hate the last scene, but I wanted just twists and turns.


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Review #4, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Dracoís Angst

15th April 2015:
Terrific chapter. I really enjoyed the scene between Harry and Draco. It's good that the story always makes me doubt Draco's true loyalty, so now we will see what happens. And we'll see whether Kingsley can hang on to the Ministry as well. Such a great plot.

Author's Response: I really appreciate you keep leaving review. I must fix the description part ASAP. Now I know a big plot needs more detailed description.

I'm glad you enjoyed the conversation between Harry and Draco.


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Review #5, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: two

15th April 2015:
Hi. The first thing I liked about this was that you showed some of Gemma's softer side. When she describes Hagrid to us, she's careful not to be offensive with the description. And when she follows him to the Great Hall, I like that she had a moment of panic about being singled out to sit with the teachers. Seeing her self-conscious and nervous was great. Her human vulnerability comes through, and for the first time I actually empathize with her.

I also loved your detailed description of the Great Hall. That was a lovely piece of writing. I found it very engaging. And the hat paragraph as well. And I really enjoyed the sorting, with the little bits of humor you put in, and Gemma's insecurity coming through once again.

One minor thing that struck me - In the paragraph that starts 'Albus Potter - Griffindor' I thought the two swear words you used in that paragraph sort of broke the writing flow you had going. It was an abrupt change of style to encounter the bad language there. It just didn't seem to be in keeping with the style of the writing that came right before or right after, so to me it felt out of place in this paragraph. That's just my opinion, and you can certainly decide for yourself if you agree or not.

With a modern character like Gemma, whose thoughts are sometimes serious and sometimes more abrasive, I would just be mindful to make the transition in her thoughts smooth, because it can affect the writing flow and cause it to be jarring when her thought style changes too abruptly. The reader needs time to transition with the character's mood change, especially since this is written in first person and all in this character's POV.

I think you did a great job on this chapter. I had a really good time reading it, and enjoyed this chapter even more than the last one. I'll also say that you're descriptive writing is really good. My favorite paragraphs were the ones where you described things in detail, so please keep using and developing that skill. I think it's one of your writing strengths. All in all a really nice chapter.

Author's Response: hey
thank you for another review it means a lot to me
i'm glad you found it funny I like to think what I would feel and what would be going through my slightly mental mind

I agree with you on the Albus Potter thing and i'm going to change that NOW because I don't like that bit either


i'm glad you liked the descriptive bit, that's always my favourite bit to write


thanks for your help again
from me xxx


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Review #6, by Hogwarts27The Defenders: Chapter One

12th April 2015:
This was another great chapter. The description in that very first paragraph just grabbed me and drew me into the scene. But for all the rich detail in your writing, it's an easy effortless read, the kind of writing a reader can just relax with and enjoy.

Silly to not keep canon? So far, I haven't noticed anything that doesn't go along with the HP world we know. I love that this a period piece. It's like a breath of fresh air really. The magical world still feels the same, with similar problems as in the last 2 books with people disappearing, and the attitude about muggleborns still seems the same. Those things make it easily relatable.

You haven't even gone that far back in time. I checked Dumbledore's birthdate - 1881 - so this would be about 11 years before he was born, in his parents' lifetime. And many of the characters you mentioned in the last chapter are recent ancestors of the characters from the books. So those are ties that help orient the reader to the role they play. I think any story will draw readers if it's simply well written. A story with a different flavor may simply draw different readers.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the description - I always feel as though I have to set the scene so i'm glad it works!

What I think I mean by non canon is that there is no story to follow or known characters so i'm able to make up pretty much anything I want in that respect. I wanted to do something entirely different within the HP world so that's why I went with setting it in the Victorian Era but at the same time, I didn't want to stray too far from what is familiar to us so this is what I came up with! I'm glad you're finding it relatable!

I chose the time with two things in the mind - the industrial revolution because I knew I wanted that so somehow fit into it and also I knew it wasn't too far off Dumbledore's birth so I knew I could include ancestors of characters we are familiar with and it would make sense! I just wanted to do something different and I'm pretty happy with how it's turning out right now!

Thank you again for your lovely review!

Vicki


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Review #7, by Hogwarts27The Defenders: Prologue

12th April 2015:
Hi, this was wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You made this come alive with descriptions of the clothing and the role of women in this time period. The introduction of the characters, some with names we could trace forward in time to characters from the books, was lovely.

I found one little grammar error - "wand skills were something she knew of and were proud of." (the second 'were' should be was).

But outside of that, the writing was flawless. It was polished and flowed perfectly. I loved the rich detail, and the old-fashioned charm of this chapter. You're a very talented writer, and this feels like it could be a fantastic story. Please do keep going with it!

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much for reviewing!!!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I wanted the story to be as authentic as it could be the era so I'm glad i've done that and it's worked! And yes! I wanted to use familiar names just so the story wasn't too out of step, seeing as I've set in a time where there is not much written about or going on that we know about!

Thank you for pointing that out! I'll change it straight away!

Thank you so much! Awww, you're making me blush here with your lovely words! They're very encouraging so thank you!

I have no plans to stop writing so I should be getting more chapters out soon!

Thank you for taking the time to review!

Vicki


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Review #8, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Daughter of the Most Loyal Family

12th April 2015:
The story problems are really starting to get solved. While I thought it was a little out of character for Harry to get drunk - canon Harry never seemed like the drinking type to me - I have to say you did a marvelous job describing the scene! It felt just like how a drinking type character would react, and of course, they always have a drinking friend. In this case, Seamus!

I also thought the love potion affair was settled too easily. Even though both sides realize that love potion causes a person not to be responsible for their actions, there were still hurt and fearful feelings for both Ginny and Harry that the couple never shared, that a real-life couple would certainly have talked about with each other, if only to make sure the other person was healed before expecting them to go forward. Nevertheless, the couple's reunion was really sweet and tender, and a feeling of instant forgiveness and mutual devotion really comes through.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this chapter, and I look forward to finding out what will happen next.

Author's Response: Thank you for your encouraging words, again.
The book 6 of HP gave much influence on my writing. The style from Harry's point of view like J.K.Rowlings fits me well, though there're lots to be rewritten about describing Harty/Ginny relationship in my story.. My expression needs more improvement.

With a bit of ingenuity, I think we can write about twists and turns around their relationships , the authors will be able to create more attractive stories of Harty/Ginny ship combining romance with mystery and action as the others have tried in the past.


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Review #9, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Remedy Against Druidic Curse

12th April 2015:
Ah, Harry starts to make real progress in this chapter. A lovely read. I enjoyed it all. Everything was druid magic, so it was all new and interesting to me, yet it was just as believable as the potions and magical objects we know from the books. Here again, I have to say that you make druid magic a really good fit with the books. I enjoyed reading the potion ingredients and directions. Wow, talk about a long potion to brew! I hope Draco does it right, and manages to stay awake. On the other hand, he could decide to work against Harry and cause a problem. Either way would work great for a plot!

Author's Response: Hi, Hogwarts27, I appreciate that you keep following this. The druidic things are all my imagination, so I've been wondering if readers understand what I try to write about, so I'm simply happy to know you enjoyed this chapter.
Speaking of Draco's decision, I try to write him as a struggling young man to stand on the right place like Harry.


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Review #10, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: One

12th April 2015:
Hi, I'll answer the James question you asked here. The books gives us virtually no information about the next gen kids, so these characters are basically OCs and you can do whatever you want with them. We do know from canon that seekers usually have a small lightweight body build, so that's something to consider if you're thinking to make James II a seeker like Harry. Does he have the right body build for it? And his grandfather was a chaser, so if you plan to give James II some misgivings about living up to past family talent, you could have him follow in his relatives' footsteps as a seeker or chaser. But you could also let him forge an entirely new path of talent. It's really up to you. I honestly think you can put him in any position. Seekers seem to get most of the glory and attention though, so that's something to keep in mind if it's important to the character.

OK, on to your story. Next gen has never been my cup of tea, so other readers, can probably advise you better on the characters than I can, since I never read the genre.

Just writing-wise, I thought the story got off to a good-enough start. It gave us a nice sense of Kings Cross, and Gemma's confusion of how to get on the platform. And you put nice descriptions throughout the chapter that helped to paint a vivid picture for the reader.

You didn't mention Gemma's age in the first paragraph, which I think would be good to do instead of leaving it for later, when we find out she's an incoming 5th year. She just got her Hogwarts letter a few weeks ago? Why didn't she get it at age 11, like she should have? It would be nice to explain that.

Your main character - the story intro says she's a sarcastic mean idiot, who's also geeky and doesn't feel accepted. That would be an interesting thing to delve into in some depth. In your first paragraph, the abrasive side of her does come through, but I hope you'll equally explore her insecurities and more vulnerable side, and not just her mean abrasive exterior. Most people who are outwardly mean or sarcastic have some inner wound or inner insecurity that causes them to be outwardly defensive, and exploring that part of Gemma would add real depth to her character, and allow the reader empathize with her inner struggle.

On meeting Gemma, the reader is mostly just shown the complaining side of her personality. But your first paragraph also offers a lot of opportunity to show the reader some of Gemma's insecurities if you ever felt like adding them in, which would allow the reader to empathize with her more a lot more strongly right away, though you certainly don't have to do that if you don't like the idea. But if you wanted to, you could explore her feelings about going to a new school. Is she worried about making friends? Does she secretly feel very shy or afraid? Is she afraid she won't be accepted? Are there family tensions in her home that she's relieved to be escaping from? Will she miss the friends from her old school, or was she lonely and shunned, unable to make friends there? Or does she tend to make the wrong friends? Those would all be interesting things to show right at the start of this chapter. Anyway, I think she has the potential to be an interesting three-dimensional character if you develop her in the right way.

One minor thing I noticed was that some of the sentences have missing punctuation, and run on where there should be comas or periods. So you could check on that, if it's something you care about it. It doesn't affect the story, but it helps for ease of reading.

Also where you say - 'she sent him along' - it's not clear who you're talking about. At first I wondered if this was going to be mom's boyfriend, ex-husband, or step-dad that Gemma despised. Turned out Dad was the only male character who came along, but I didn't figure that out until I'd read a bit further, so you might think of naming 'him' as Dad when he's first mentioned.

All in all, this was basically a 'meet and greet' chapter, and I think you did a really nice job introducing the reader to all these new characters - LOL, too many cousins too many too count is right - plus their friends. And it was mostly done through dialogue, which is great. You've really got your work cut out for you creating all these characters, but you seem to have a good handle on it. Amid the teenage banter, you also did a nice job of not losing the focus on Hogwarts school, with all the discussion of houses and classes.

Lastly, I noticed you don't have chapter summaries. I'll just say that I've always found chapter summaries to come in really handy, because it's easy for readers to forget which chapters they've read in a story, especially when the website logs you out while you're reading so that you don't get to click the 'chapter read' box when you're finished. Chapter summaries are also a nice reminder for what's happened in a story to help readers ease back into the story when they've been away for a while. But it's up to you.

All in all, nice job, and good luck with the story. I'm glad you've got one that you decided to work on.

Author's Response: thank you for such a long review, I know you don't like next generation so tis really means a lot to me,
I will change the bits that you pointed out could be better when I've finished the next few characters
you said that I might need to give the reader a bit more background info which I then did in the next chapter, so that's all good now

and thanks for the help on the James question, I was getting really stuck but I made up my mind in the end

good luck on your next story

from me xx


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Review #11, by Hogwarts27Esto Perpetua: My Side Of The Fence

9th April 2015:
Hi, this chapter was terrific. I enjoyed it as much as the first. Your characters are believable and engaging. I especially liked the way you portrayed Sirius' father and Alphard. Sirius father came across as absolutely intimidating, and Alphard the complete opposite. Alphard mentoring Sirius reminded me a lot of adult Sirius mentoring Harry, so it was really easy to instantly identify the role Alphard played in Sirius' life, and root for these two. I was a little surprised that Sirius was so close to Reg, because I always got the feeling from the books that Sirius didn't get along with anyone in his household, but you've made it feel natural for the brothers to get along, and it seems to work perfectly well in this story. Wallburga feels cold and not the mothering type, yet not as overbearing with her children as her husband, which is a pretty dismal parent situation to have. The family pressure for conformity really comes through as well. You did a wonderful job creating the Black family characters and household - no easy task.

As in the first chapter, your writing is engaging, and allowed me to lose myself in the story as all good writing should. The details are rich with a nice touch of humor thrown in, and the dialogue was natural and fitting. The object in the secret package hints of an interesting plot to come amid a world of growing turmoil that we know from the books, which makes me eager to read more from the marauder POV. I've thoroughly enjoyed the first two chapters so far, and I'll say again that I'm so glad to find a story that's not romance centered. Fantastic writing so far. I look forward to reading more.

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Review #12, by Hogwarts27Dabbling in Destiny, Death, and the Dark Arts: A Trucido is Born

9th April 2015:
Oh, I'm first to review! Well first off, let me applaud you for getting any writing at all done with a baby around. When I saw your forum post about this chapter of the new version being up, I came to check it out.

The first thought that came to mind is that this really feels like more of a prologue than a first chapter. There's a short character scene at the end, but the bulk of this chapter is mostly background information. If this were my story, I probably would be calling this the prologue rather than chapter 1, just to delineate out all that backstory, but that's up to you.

Having read the first version, I could follow the history, but I agree with your author's note that this might be confusing for a brand new reader who didn't have past exposure. And the writing itself is pretty dense, so it's a concentrated read as well.

I'll be honest to say that I've always been a reader who has little patience for reading history or lengthy character backstory - even when it's done by renowned writers like Tolkien and JK Rolwing.

That said, I thought your first paragraph with the analogy to a white raven was an intriguing way to launch into the history that follows. And as a former reader, I really enjoyed the paragraph about Morticaine.

My interest peaked when the characters appeared in the chapter, and I was surprised by the ones that did because this was a new place to start the story. Having been treated to some of your fabulous writing in Everto 1, I'm curious to see how this version will develop.

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for stopping by! (I've been slowly depriving myself of sleep to have some 'me' time.)

You're absolutely right -- I had the term 'introduction' stuck in my head, when really it is a prologue. I may be adding another scene just to break up the heaviness of the background information, but that's still in the works.

I had played with the idea of breaking up the history with some actual scenes involving character introduction and interaction, but I was afraid that it would make the flow choppy. I suppose if I at least tried it, I could then get a feel for how it would read, and possibly make this chapter slightly more fun. I'm a huge fan of dialogue, and that's something that this chapter is seriously lacking.

My analogy with the white raven almost seems pointless, though I left it because I thought it was fun and tied in a bit to the history.

I think I need to work on this chapter more, and I'm sure, in a state of needing sleep, that I jumped the gun in posting it.

At any rate, hopefully I can get this chapter worked out a bit more and pick up the story better in the next chapter.

Thanks so much for your review!

-Rumpel


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Review #13, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Being Desperate For (2)

8th April 2015:
This chapter had a lot of scene changes going on, but what happened in the scenes was quite interesting, so I didn't really mind the fast pace. I had no trouble following the story as long as it was clear where the scenes were changing. The one place it wasn't clear to me right away that the scene was changing, was where Harry pulls on his invisibility cloak and enters the Entrance Hall, so you might think of doing a little clearer transition there if you ever edit. :) But if not, the reader quickly figures it out anyway, so it's not a big problem.

I know that it's much easier to write short scenes when writing in a second language. That said, even professional authors sometimes write very short scenes on purpose, which can be very effective in some cases, and I noticed an excellent example of that in this chapter - when Harry punches Dean.

I thought the Harry/Dean scene was actually brilliant because it was short. I thought the short conversation, short response, and abrupt exit was actually a very fitting way to move through the scene. And I loved Harry's exiting dialogue. If you ever edit, I think you might describe the punch a little more, like maybe the sound it makes, and whether Dean yells in pain because it has to hurt. But aside from that, I think a short scene actually works much better than a longer one in this case. And you give the reader a bit of a cliff-hanger ending, where we're left to imagine how Dean will recover from the blow. I really quite liked it that way.

I think the scene with Slughorn could have used just a little more dialogue, but that's a very minor point. You did some nice descriptions in that scene, and the scene served it's purpose when Ginny learned of the love potion.

I enjoyed reading this chapter, and I'm really enjoying this story plot. Whenever I come to this story, I know I will enjoy the adventure.

Author's Response: Your suggestions are really helpful. It'll take much more time till my beta readers on this but it's worth trying to add more information about the details to the scene of Harry and Dean by myself. With your review I became a highly motivated, thank you very much! :) Kenny

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Review #14, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Being Desperate For (1)

8th April 2015:
This chapter was a very nice read. I ike the way you brought out Harry's jealousy at seeing Ginny/Dean kissing and connected it to all the other scenes in the chapter. Because the kiss is so important through the whole chapter, if you ever decide to edit, I mighht suggest describing it just a little bit more for the reader. I don't think it needs a lot of detail, but I think just some hint of the physical closeness that goes along with kissing would be nice, so the reader can clearly picture the closeness of the couple that Harry is so offended by, along with Ginny's facial expression that you already emphasize quite well. But even if you never edit, the feeling of the kiss' importance is still understood.

Later on, the part where Harry and Dara kiss was a very nicely written scene, and you connected it very well to Harry's jealousy. The scene builds to a nice intensity, and even becomes a bit sensual, which I really enjoyed. I especially liked the part where Harry swears. His mild swearing was just the right way to express what he must have felt afterward. I thought the transition to St. Mungo's was little abrupt though. When St. Mungo's was mentioned right away after the couple broke apart, at first I wondered whether Dara seriously harmed Harry in some way. It took me a little while to realize it was just Hermione that Harry was still worried about. So I think a slower or clearer transition between those scenes would be helpful for the reader. :) But other than that, I really enjoyed this scene between Harry and Dara. Very well done.

I also liked the way you kept connecting the kisses between Harry/Dara and Ginny/Dean in the scenes that followed, both at St. Mungo's, and in Harry's conversation with Ron. This was a very nicely done chapter that I much enjoyed reading.

Author's Response: Thank you again. Your opinion is right to the point on describing some hint of the physical things. I've been unsure how much readers would understand my story so your honest review is really helpful.
I'd better think over the transition to St.Mungo's but wait, your misunderstanding will turn to a good twists and turns, so I may add some more around Dara and Harry...
there can be more ups and downs.


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Review #15, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Wrought Metals Goblins Made

8th April 2015:
Just the title of this chapter sparked my interest.

There was some fast jumping from one short scene to another in this chapter, which I didn't have any trouble following, but I worry I may forget things when short scenes go by so fast.

I enjoyed the part when Andromeda told Harry about the goblin metals vs the sword of Gryffindor. I doubt that goblins would accept these metals in place of the sword, but this makes me wonder what new thing might come into the story because of these metals. Once again, your imagination about this fits so well with the HP world.

I enjoyed the curse-breaking scene and failure. And exploring Harry's vault. I think Harry means to use that mirror on Ginny's mind. And he has a few items to offer the goblins now. A very nice chapter.

Author's Response: I feel thankful that you keep following this story.

Speaking of metals, I had only blur image, so I need to reread my story again for the next series. Yet I remember that I set the other plot after this. Yeah, I agree with you that goblins wouldn't accept the offer.

It's easier for me to write action scene than other genres though my expression isn't enough. Perhaps my beta reader will point them out.


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Review #16, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Conference

7th April 2015:
Hi, I enjoyed this chapter. Ron is going to act like a man and protect the woman he loves. Right away I looked forward to seeing if he would succeed when a threat comes, but I thought it might not come for a while - ha ha, no it comes soon. Your security question - what did Harry say when we kissed the first time - is this the moment? - was one of my favorite funny lines from the books. Some readers may not remember that little joke, but I laughed right away.

I really liked the scene where Nott sneaks up on Hermione from behind. The threatening moment with Nott was so good that I wished it had been just a little longer, as it only lasted about 2 sentences. Even so, the feeling of menace does come through. And we definitely get the feeling that Nott doesn't want to challenge Ron in a fight by the way he puts his wand away when he sees him.

Now, this is not a criticism, rather just a comment, because authors can portray characters in any way that works best in stories. I found it interesting that you had Hermione behave sort of like a damsel in distress with Ron, when she says "Oh Ron I was scared" and then falls into Ron's arms after the encounter with Nott. And how you emphasize Ron taking on the role of protector because it's his job as an auror, and maybe also because he wants to be a protective boyfriend. This is a little different than how I usually thought of them in the books, where Ron wasn't always the most reliable boyfriend, and often had real confidence problems in many areas. He didn't even act very mature yet, so in your story he strikes me as much more mature, and more confident. And I always pictured canon Hermione as a very capable witch and a good dueler - even better than Ron, in fact - who was never afraid to defend herself when she had to, and always showed courage in the face of danger. This is the girl who hit Malfoy in the face in Book 3, and decided to ride a dragon out of Gringotts in Book 7, and fought Death Eaters in the Battle of Hogwarts. So in my own mind, I wouldn't think Nott pulling a wand on canon Hermione would really shake her up at all, considering he's no more than a former classmate. I imagine Hermione would be able to take him on in a duel quite well, even if he surprised her. So that's just the thought comparison that came to mind as I was reading. As I said, there is no right or wrong way to portray a character, and you just choose what's best for the story. In this story, Ron and Harry are aurors who are protecting the women they love, so it's fitting to make the girls the targets of danger.

I also enjoyed Pansy's love potion plan. I have a feeling that Pansy probably used polyjuice to give it to Ginny. So trouble must be coming.

Author's Response: Your opinions around Cannons is right to the point. In my story, Hermione got nervous, helpless. The existence of two Gryffindor boys made her strong in the past, I think. The battle of Hogwarts and the experience that she was treated cruelly by Bellatrix made her a little weak compared to her younger days, most of the times women are strong but sometimes men must protect them and of course, Ron became a reliable knight for her. I 've trusted him since the last dynamic victory at the real wizard chess of book 1. And I predicted he would come back after the quarrel with Harry in the book 7, was so excited to read he helped Harry from the icy lake.

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Review #17, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Sly Tricks of Slytherins

7th April 2015:
Great scene with Nott and Malfoy. I'm looking forward to see how this will play out. And Hermione nearly has the answer for the curse, so we're getting closer. I really enjoyed the end scene with Myrtle. I had to laugh at the thought of Pansy peeping at Harry.

Author's Response: Hi, again. Talking of Nott, I'm reading 'A Girl from Slytherin' right now. The author writes him more gentle so far, I enjoy the difference.
Do you like Pansy peeped at Harry? Yeah, I think she has some feeling towards a war hero.

The forums game and event won't get me keep reading your novel, but I promise to come back to yours. :) Kenny


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Review #18, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Girl Talk

7th April 2015:
Nice side plot development in this chapter with the hottest witch and wizard. I enjoyed how Harry discovers that Nott certainly seems guilty of something. And I'd say Draco probably helped with whatever he's up to.

Author's Response: Thank you, again for following this story. I really appreciate. My awesome beta is working on the first chapter, and another beta will start basic things from the next months,plus your review will make this story better one.

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Review #19, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Slither Again

2nd April 2015:
Hmm, Hermione gets attacked but no proof that Draco and Nott did it. And Draco is acting very secretive with his potions, and not acting very
friendly toward Harry. This feels like there might be a plot twist coming and that these two are up to something. Good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks, again. :)
Yes, I've written about Draco like he was AU chacter a bit as the other reviewer pointed that in my first story, so in this chapter I let him be more Malfoy-like (I think, it's not proper English). But I like the way of Dumbledore, so well, I won't say more, 'cause it'll be a spoiler. ;)


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Review #20, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Tactics

2nd April 2015:
A nice change of pace in this chapter where you show us the struggle for power in the leadership of the Ministry. I enjoyed the scene where Ginny starts feeling a little jealous and insecure about Dara. But my favorite scene was the one between Draco and Nott. This again raises my suspicion of whose side Malfoy is really on.

Author's Response: Hi, again.:)
Thank you for following this. I wasn't sure how I could write about romance but I tried writing about Ginny's feeling towrads Harry. From then I have read other authors' brilliant ones, I think I had better add more details around that.


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Review #21, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Confrontation

2nd April 2015:
Great chapter, full of exciting action. I enjoyed all of it. The flight into the Gringotts underground felt dangerous, dark, and just a little creepy, as it should. There was good suspense and a nice battle scene with Death Eaters and the snake, yes certainly a fake. You did a lovely job writing Rodolphus Memory about Bella. And I really enjoyed the scene where Hermione is rescued. It was terrific, and just got even more exciting when the real snake appeared. I had a great time reading this.

And to respond to your answer to my last reviews, yes, I know it's a real struggle to write in a second language, and that it takes hours longer to get a decent word count. I struggle with German, and would never attempt to write even a short story in that language, so I know exactly what you mean.

I'm a reader who likes magical adventure stories best, and I think your plot is just terrific. And that makes it easy for me to just ignore the little mistakes you make with English, because they are really minor and don't get in the way of my enjoying the story or getting drawn into the scenes. In fact, I'm amazed at what a good job you do with scenes sometimes and with such good descriptions, that I'm sure were a real effort for you to write, and they really are an enjoyable read.

In the end it's up to you to decide whether you enjoy writing in English enough to keep doing the extra work. I just applaud you for having written so much already and for sharing it. Many fanfic writers never finish even one novel in their own language, and you're already working on your third novel in English. That's a real accomplishment to be proud of, and it just makes you super awesome. :))

Author's Response: Wow, three reviews in sequence, I really appreciate, Hogwarts27. You understand how much I spent the time for this chapter.

The impression of Bella of the movie was strong for me, so I put the scene in this chapter.

Your comment about creating magical adventure stories really encourages me.
I'm losing my confidence everytime I read the other super author's story these days, so your reviews really help me.

It may take much time to write again, but your encouragement gave me power to hang on.

I shouldn't write the comment here, but I'd like to say, I suggest you should wirte about your Dumbledore's story. Many readers are waiting for you and I will read your sequence, too. I promise.


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Review #22, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Underground

2nd April 2015:
The plot of this story is really great! It's so different from other fanfic plots I usually find, and full of imagination. I enjoyed all of this chapter. I like the way you showed us what Bill needed to do to try to break the curse. And I felt pretty sorry for Harry when he couldn't trust having something to drink. It was nice to see Harry trying out his wands, so we can know what to expect from them. I also enjoyed the scene with Sirius and the song at the lake. Your description made it feel mysteriously magical. And it was a relief when the cursed scars got removed. At least some things are going right! But of course, there is still trouble to come.

Author's Response: Thank you again, your words touch the very core of my heart. I know my expression isn't enough to be read, from the start I'm left behind,for example while you can hit 3000 , it takes much time for me to squeeze out only 500 words or so. So your review that you could understand the plot is a beam of hope for me.

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Review #23, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Captivity

1st April 2015:
Oh, an exchange of souls and bodies - this chapter already starts out interesting. And I enjoyed the scene with Harry and Dara in bed. It gave just the right feeling of Harry being strongly attracted to her. Love potion, of course!

I have a feeling that characters are going to fall into some dangerous traps very soon. The idea of more body-soul exchange just adds to the suspense. What a brilliant idea!

Bella in Nagini's body - oh yes, I love it!

Author's Response: Thank you, Hogwarts27, your encouragement let me shed tears, I barely keep hanging here by your kind review. My third story couldn't have existed if I didn't write this so I'm feeling really thankful. :)

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Review #24, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: The Storm

19th March 2015:
This was good chapter with a lot of action, that I really enjoyed. I always love a good action scene. The broom chase grabbed my interest right away, and there was a nice sense of danger during the conversation with Ron in the mirror after they landed.

The part with Harry and Ginny naked turned out be very sweet, but I had to laugh at first that Harry's eyesight was supposed to be so bad that he couldn't see Ginny's body clearly even when she was so close to him. But he was very sweet about acting like a gentleman.

I was surprised at Harry's new animagus, but I can see how being an animal that can fly would feel very natural to him. And it seems this animagus will come in very handy if Dara and her father are birds.

You gave the chapter a good ending. It makes me curious to know what happens next.

Author's Response: Thank you, again for your constant review. I really appreciate for that.

You and I have a commomn point in action scene, I think. So I'm glad to read your comment about that. :)

Their awkward scene in the hollow was inspired by Yukio Mishima's literary work.
So this chapter has a kind of mood mingled with druidic magic and oriental essence.

To make up my lack of vocabulary, I squeezed out my imagination at midnight, the idea popped up in my mind.


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Review #25, by Hogwarts27Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Labyrinth

17th March 2015:
Hi, I saw your post about review swaps, so please don't feel rushed to answer this if you're busy with those.

This is another good chapter where the reader gets some surprising good and bad news. I enjoyed the little part where you pointed out Ginny's guilt about needing to be rescued by Harry again. I also enjoyed the sudden twist with Dara - first she seems to be helping, but then we discover that she loves Harry and becomes jealous of Ginny, with her behavior suddenly changes. That was well done. And just when we think Harry found the way to escape, he remembers the words of warning. So I'm curious to see what will happen now.

Author's Response: Thank you for your constant encouragement, I always feel happy to read your comment. :)

I wanted to do something, kind of twists and turns, so I tried writing about it between Harry and Ginny. The easiest way to do that, another witch enters, which will add another situation, I thought.



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