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Reading Reviews From Member: Hogwarts27
  
177 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: four

15th April 2015:
Hi. Some descriptive scene setting would help at the start of this chapter. It's a little disorienting to just be dropped into the dialogue with no idea of where or when this happens.

I agree with you that a lot of this was filler, at least the first half. But you can always edit it as you see fit later on, if you're not happy with it.

Gemma not Jenny - cute rant. I liked it.

The scene that peaked my interest was the scene with Molly prying. But it makes me wonder - if Gemma was in a muggle school until now, how can she possibly manage at Hogwarts if she missed 4 entire years of magical education. You mentioned she was at a genius school in chapter 1, but still. I suppose you have a premise to go on, or maybe you plan to rely on her genius abilities to make catching up possible.

Personal problems could be anything. But whatever it is, I think it's odd for it to have kept her out of Hogwarts, when it didn't keep her out of muggle school. First hint of a plot developing, so that's nice!

Author's Response: h again Horgwarts27
thanks for yet another review it means a lot to me
it probably could of helped with a bit of descriptive writing, I will go and change that.
I liked writing the rant bit, the only thing was, I wanted to use the other Genni but the computer kept changing it and I couldn't be bothered to get into a fight with a laptop

ah yes the fact that Gemma missed the first four years, she will catch up but that's part of the plot, I can say now that she got given old copies of books to read during the holidays so she would of read everything form the first four years

and the personal problems, now that is a very long mystery to everyone and thing other than me and the many spreadsheets and word documents (and the piece of paper at the end of my bed) that contain ideas, know.


from me xxx




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Review #2, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: three

15th April 2015:
Hi again. I enjoyed your author's note. Nice idea with the quotes.

This chapter didn't strike me as being too short at all. In fact, I think the long paragraph about about James and McClaggan could still be tightened up a bit and made more concise, if you ever edit. I think it's always better to let a chapter be short, than to put in worthless filler for word count. Once a chapter is sandwiched between other chapters, the readers really won't care about it's length, because they'll just go onto the next.

What this chapter could mostly use is better punctuation. I've noticed that you often get the punctuation wrong in your writing. Sometimes it's missing where it's needed, and other times you put comas where there really should be periods. It's just a technical point, but it makes a big difference to the overall writing flow, and ease of reading and understanding for the reader. If you're bad at doing punctuation yourself, you could consider getting a beta on the forums to proof-read for you.

'A memory I'll keep forever' - that line didn't strike me as a very realistic thing to say about someone Gemma hasn't even gotten to know yet. I think that phrase would make better sense if it were yelled out by someone who knew James well, so that Gemma could overhear it and be amused by it. But it's up to you.

I really enjoyed the sailing description, and the vivid comparison between sailing and flying. It was my favorite part of the story. When Gemma said 'I missed sailing', at first I didn't understand that she meant on a boat. I thought she meant sailing on a broom, so you might just make that first reference to boating clearer. But otherwise it was terrific!

I don't think this was a rubbish chapter. It was a short pleasant read. Mostly it just needs a punctuation clean up, and that's an easy fix. :)

Author's Response: hey thanks again for another review
punctuation has never, I repeat never, been easy for me, once in year 6 I was made to spend half an hour getting one semicolon in the right place and that was with my friends helping me


I think I will change that bit about the memory but it might take me a while because i'm quite busy at the moment

oh and I agree wit the james and mclaggen bit but I couldn't work out how to shorten it, but I will try


thanks again

from me xx


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Review #3, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: two

15th April 2015:
Hi. The first thing I liked about this was that you showed some of Gemma's softer side. When she describes Hagrid to us, she's careful not to be offensive with the description. And when she follows him to the Great Hall, I like that she had a moment of panic about being singled out to sit with the teachers. Seeing her self-conscious and nervous was great. Her human vulnerability comes through, and for the first time I actually empathize with her.

I also loved your detailed description of the Great Hall. That was a lovely piece of writing. I found it very engaging. And the hat paragraph as well. And I really enjoyed the sorting, with the little bits of humor you put in, and Gemma's insecurity coming through once again.

One minor thing that struck me - In the paragraph that starts 'Albus Potter - Griffindor' I thought the two swear words you used in that paragraph sort of broke the writing flow you had going. It was an abrupt change of style to encounter the bad language there. It just didn't seem to be in keeping with the style of the writing that came right before or right after, so to me it felt out of place in this paragraph. That's just my opinion, and you can certainly decide for yourself if you agree or not.

With a modern character like Gemma, whose thoughts are sometimes serious and sometimes more abrasive, I would just be mindful to make the transition in her thoughts smooth, because it can affect the writing flow and cause it to be jarring when her thought style changes too abruptly. The reader needs time to transition with the character's mood change, especially since this is written in first person and all in this character's POV.

I think you did a great job on this chapter. I had a really good time reading it, and enjoyed this chapter even more than the last one. I'll also say that you're descriptive writing is really good. My favorite paragraphs were the ones where you described things in detail, so please keep using and developing that skill. I think it's one of your writing strengths. All in all a really nice chapter.

Author's Response: hey
thank you for another review it means a lot to me
i'm glad you found it funny I like to think what I would feel and what would be going through my slightly mental mind

I agree with you on the Albus Potter thing and i'm going to change that NOW because I don't like that bit either


i'm glad you liked the descriptive bit, that's always my favourite bit to write


thanks for your help again
from me xxx


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Review #4, by Hogwarts27The Defenders: Chapter One

12th April 2015:
This was another great chapter. The description in that very first paragraph just grabbed me and drew me into the scene. But for all the rich detail in your writing, it's an easy effortless read, the kind of writing a reader can just relax with and enjoy.

Silly to not keep canon? So far, I haven't noticed anything that doesn't go along with the HP world we know. I love that this a period piece. It's like a breath of fresh air really. The magical world still feels the same, with similar problems as in the last 2 books with people disappearing, and the attitude about muggleborns still seems the same. Those things make it easily relatable.

You haven't even gone that far back in time. I checked Dumbledore's birthdate - 1881 - so this would be about 11 years before he was born, in his parents' lifetime. And many of the characters you mentioned in the last chapter are recent ancestors of the characters from the books. So those are ties that help orient the reader to the role they play. I think any story will draw readers if it's simply well written. A story with a different flavor may simply draw different readers.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the description - I always feel as though I have to set the scene so i'm glad it works!

What I think I mean by non canon is that there is no story to follow or known characters so i'm able to make up pretty much anything I want in that respect. I wanted to do something entirely different within the HP world so that's why I went with setting it in the Victorian Era but at the same time, I didn't want to stray too far from what is familiar to us so this is what I came up with! I'm glad you're finding it relatable!

I chose the time with two things in the mind - the industrial revolution because I knew I wanted that so somehow fit into it and also I knew it wasn't too far off Dumbledore's birth so I knew I could include ancestors of characters we are familiar with and it would make sense! I just wanted to do something different and I'm pretty happy with how it's turning out right now!

Thank you again for your lovely review!

Vicki


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Review #5, by Hogwarts27The Defenders: Prologue

12th April 2015:
Hi, this was wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You made this come alive with descriptions of the clothing and the role of women in this time period. The introduction of the characters, some with names we could trace forward in time to characters from the books, was lovely.

I found one little grammar error - "wand skills were something she knew of and were proud of." (the second 'were' should be was).

But outside of that, the writing was flawless. It was polished and flowed perfectly. I loved the rich detail, and the old-fashioned charm of this chapter. You're a very talented writer, and this feels like it could be a fantastic story. Please do keep going with it!

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much for reviewing!!!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I wanted the story to be as authentic as it could be the era so I'm glad i've done that and it's worked! And yes! I wanted to use familiar names just so the story wasn't too out of step, seeing as I've set in a time where there is not much written about or going on that we know about!

Thank you for pointing that out! I'll change it straight away!

Thank you so much! Awww, you're making me blush here with your lovely words! They're very encouraging so thank you!

I have no plans to stop writing so I should be getting more chapters out soon!

Thank you for taking the time to review!

Vicki


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Review #6, by Hogwarts27The complicated life of an idiot also known as me: One

12th April 2015:
Hi, I'll answer the James question you asked here. The books gives us virtually no information about the next gen kids, so these characters are basically OCs and you can do whatever you want with them. We do know from canon that seekers usually have a small lightweight body build, so that's something to consider if you're thinking to make James II a seeker like Harry. Does he have the right body build for it? And his grandfather was a chaser, so if you plan to give James II some misgivings about living up to past family talent, you could have him follow in his relatives' footsteps as a seeker or chaser. But you could also let him forge an entirely new path of talent. It's really up to you. I honestly think you can put him in any position. Seekers seem to get most of the glory and attention though, so that's something to keep in mind if it's important to the character.

OK, on to your story. Next gen has never been my cup of tea, so other readers, can probably advise you better on the characters than I can, since I never read the genre.

Just writing-wise, I thought the story got off to a good-enough start. It gave us a nice sense of Kings Cross, and Gemma's confusion of how to get on the platform. And you put nice descriptions throughout the chapter that helped to paint a vivid picture for the reader.

You didn't mention Gemma's age in the first paragraph, which I think would be good to do instead of leaving it for later, when we find out she's an incoming 5th year. She just got her Hogwarts letter a few weeks ago? Why didn't she get it at age 11, like she should have? It would be nice to explain that.

Your main character - the story intro says she's a sarcastic mean idiot, who's also geeky and doesn't feel accepted. That would be an interesting thing to delve into in some depth. In your first paragraph, the abrasive side of her does come through, but I hope you'll equally explore her insecurities and more vulnerable side, and not just her mean abrasive exterior. Most people who are outwardly mean or sarcastic have some inner wound or inner insecurity that causes them to be outwardly defensive, and exploring that part of Gemma would add real depth to her character, and allow the reader empathize with her inner struggle.

On meeting Gemma, the reader is mostly just shown the complaining side of her personality. But your first paragraph also offers a lot of opportunity to show the reader some of Gemma's insecurities if you ever felt like adding them in, which would allow the reader to empathize with her more a lot more strongly right away, though you certainly don't have to do that if you don't like the idea. But if you wanted to, you could explore her feelings about going to a new school. Is she worried about making friends? Does she secretly feel very shy or afraid? Is she afraid she won't be accepted? Are there family tensions in her home that she's relieved to be escaping from? Will she miss the friends from her old school, or was she lonely and shunned, unable to make friends there? Or does she tend to make the wrong friends? Those would all be interesting things to show right at the start of this chapter. Anyway, I think she has the potential to be an interesting three-dimensional character if you develop her in the right way.

One minor thing I noticed was that some of the sentences have missing punctuation, and run on where there should be comas or periods. So you could check on that, if it's something you care about it. It doesn't affect the story, but it helps for ease of reading.

Also where you say - 'she sent him along' - it's not clear who you're talking about. At first I wondered if this was going to be mom's boyfriend, ex-husband, or step-dad that Gemma despised. Turned out Dad was the only male character who came along, but I didn't figure that out until I'd read a bit further, so you might think of naming 'him' as Dad when he's first mentioned.

All in all, this was basically a 'meet and greet' chapter, and I think you did a really nice job introducing the reader to all these new characters - LOL, too many cousins too many too count is right - plus their friends. And it was mostly done through dialogue, which is great. You've really got your work cut out for you creating all these characters, but you seem to have a good handle on it. Amid the teenage banter, you also did a nice job of not losing the focus on Hogwarts school, with all the discussion of houses and classes.

Lastly, I noticed you don't have chapter summaries. I'll just say that I've always found chapter summaries to come in really handy, because it's easy for readers to forget which chapters they've read in a story, especially when the website logs you out while you're reading so that you don't get to click the 'chapter read' box when you're finished. Chapter summaries are also a nice reminder for what's happened in a story to help readers ease back into the story when they've been away for a while. But it's up to you.

All in all, nice job, and good luck with the story. I'm glad you've got one that you decided to work on.

Author's Response: thank you for such a long review, I know you don't like next generation so tis really means a lot to me,
I will change the bits that you pointed out could be better when I've finished the next few characters
you said that I might need to give the reader a bit more background info which I then did in the next chapter, so that's all good now

and thanks for the help on the James question, I was getting really stuck but I made up my mind in the end

good luck on your next story

from me xx


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Review #7, by Hogwarts27Dabbling in Destiny, Death, and the Dark Arts: A Trucido is Born

9th April 2015:
Oh, I'm first to review! Well first off, let me applaud you for getting any writing at all done with a baby around. When I saw your forum post about this chapter of the new version being up, I came to check it out.

The first thought that came to mind is that this really feels like more of a prologue than a first chapter. There's a short character scene at the end, but the bulk of this chapter is mostly background information. If this were my story, I probably would be calling this the prologue rather than chapter 1, just to delineate out all that backstory, but that's up to you.

Having read the first version, I could follow the history, but I agree with your author's note that this might be confusing for a brand new reader who didn't have past exposure. And the writing itself is pretty dense, so it's a concentrated read as well.

I'll be honest to say that I've always been a reader who has little patience for reading history or lengthy character backstory - even when it's done by renowned writers like Tolkien and JK Rolwing.

That said, I thought your first paragraph with the analogy to a white raven was an intriguing way to launch into the history that follows. And as a former reader, I really enjoyed the paragraph about Morticaine.

My interest peaked when the characters appeared in the chapter, and I was surprised by the ones that did because this was a new place to start the story. Having been treated to some of your fabulous writing in Everto 1, I'm curious to see how this version will develop.

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for stopping by! (I've been slowly depriving myself of sleep to have some 'me' time.)

You're absolutely right -- I had the term 'introduction' stuck in my head, when really it is a prologue. I may be adding another scene just to break up the heaviness of the background information, but that's still in the works.

I had played with the idea of breaking up the history with some actual scenes involving character introduction and interaction, but I was afraid that it would make the flow choppy. I suppose if I at least tried it, I could then get a feel for how it would read, and possibly make this chapter slightly more fun. I'm a huge fan of dialogue, and that's something that this chapter is seriously lacking.

My analogy with the white raven almost seems pointless, though I left it because I thought it was fun and tied in a bit to the history.

I think I need to work on this chapter more, and I'm sure, in a state of needing sleep, that I jumped the gun in posting it.

At any rate, hopefully I can get this chapter worked out a bit more and pick up the story better in the next chapter.

Thanks so much for your review!

-Rumpel


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Review #8, by Hogwarts27Magic for a Muggle-Born: Johnny meet Luna, Luna meet Johnny

10th March 2015:
Hi, congrats on getting your very first chapter posted. I think you have good writing ability that will only get better the more you practice, so just keep writing if it's something you enjoy.

You claim to be bad at dialogue, so just practice writing LOTS of dialogue until you get better at it. Most writers struggle with at least one aspect of their writing, so we're all in the same boat there.

On the whole, I found this a pleasant read. The opening paragraph did a good job of drawing me into the first scene, with some good descriptions and interesting details. I wondered why the boy wanted to be in a public cafe to test his magic. And what outcome he was hoping to make happen if he discovered that he could magically cause a cup of coffee to heat up. And why he was deliberately trying to do underage age, without even a wand. It wasn't until druid magic was mentioned later on, that it dawned on me there was probably something magically different about this boy.

I agree with one of your other reviewers that when Luna comes in, it gets a little rushed, and she spills too much too quickly to a complete stranger. That reviewer also gave some great dialogue tips.

I enjoyed the Diagon Alley scene. You did a nice job taking the reader through the setting and events. One thing I noticed was that Johnny was very passive. We weren't shown how he reacts with any amazement or excitement, and there's no description of his thoughts. So if you ever edit this, you might consider incorporating more character reaction into the already nice narrative that you've got. All in all, I think this was a good first chapter.

Author's Response: thanks for your review
I agree with both you and lucyzi when Luna comes in it gets a bit rushed and if I do edit this I will change that however at the moment I'm still wondering if I should carry this story on as I wrote it months ago ad forgot about it and know I don't know how to carry it on
thanks anyway though for your tips and for reviewing altogether it means a lot to me
love from me xx


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Review #9, by Hogwarts27Misconceptions: Protective

22nd February 2015:
Hi, thanks for posting another great chapter. It was a thoroughly enjoyable read.

First, I'll point out one minor thing in case it happened during the editing you mentioned in your author's note. At the start of this chapter you describe Snape and Riddle well enough, but when you first mention Harry, there's no description of what he's doing or where he's located in the chamber in relation to the basilisk. Adding that little detail would help orient the reader better to the action at the start of the chapter, instead of relying on the reader to know how the scene goes from the books. I'll also say the part where Riddle disappears when the diary was destroyed felt a little rushed. I think you were just trying to get past the part of the story readers know from the books, but I think another sentence or two to describe Riddle's demise would be good there. And perhaps a sentence or two to show Riddle's rage after the basilisk is killed.

I enjoyed the way Snape interacted with Riddle though, and refused to be intimidated by him. And I always enjoy the masterful way you manage to take the reader into Snape's thoughts, as you did with the scenes that followed. I always enjoy a good Snape-Dumbledore scene. Those two just play off of one another really well, and you portray them both well. It sounds like we'll be treated to another Snape visit to the Dursleys soon, which I'll be looking forward to that, along with whatever else you've got in store for us. I am thoroughly enjoying this marvelous story!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

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Review #10, by Hogwarts27Divided: The Tale of the Hogwarts Founders: Chapter VIII

20th January 2015:
Hi, I came running to read this when I saw your post in the finished stories thread. This is a wonderful last chapter, superbly written, and a real joy to read.

I enjoyed the arrival of Peeves, which made a nice bridge for the reader, reminding us that some things from the early days of Hogwarts continue absolutely unchanged into the present day Hogwarts we know. I also enjoyed the short sentimental moment between Helga and Godric when they notice each other's gray hair and remark that they've become old, or perhaps prematurely old, through all the chaos of running the school.

And I felt a real sense of loss when Salazar left, because of your earlier backstory, and the touching way you dealt with it in this chapter. And what a dramatic and fitting way to end this story with the ghosts, so that everything tied in with canon.

Thanks for writing - and finishing - this lovely story. And congratulations! A finished story is always an accomplishment. I've enjoyed every bit of the journey it took me on. Your writing style just grabbed me so that I could lose myself in the story-telling with every single chapter. Thank you very much for the reading adventure.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for coming to read this - it means so much to me that you pounced on it just as soon as it was posted! I'm so, so glad you liked it!

Haha, you know what, Peeves was not even originally intended to be in the story at all, until the idea popped into my head as I was partway through writing this chapter. In the end I'm glad I did, because the rest of the chapter is pretty heavy with stuff like death and betrayal and more death. And yes it does kind of link Founders-era Hogwarts with present day, as a few things never changed! That's a lovely way to think of it! I'm glad you liked that moment with Helga and Godric as well - despite all the huge changes on a grand scale that happened here, I felt like the little scenes of mundane things are a nice balance. :)

I'm glad that resonated with you, when Salazar left - that's definitely what I was going for, to not really have either side be entirely to blame. As angry as they were with him at the time, I felt that having Salazar leave would be devastating to them after so long of working together. So glad you liked the bit about the ghosts as well, and that you thought it fit into canon! That is so great to hear :)

Thank YOU so much for reading this, and for the congratulations! It truly is a great feeling to have it completed, and having support from wonderful reviewers like you made it just that much more enjoyable to write. I am thrilled that you enjoyed the story so much, and thank you for your amazing support. ♥


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Review #11, by Hogwarts27Misconceptions: Deductive

9th January 2015:
Terrific interation between Harry and Snape. Snape's dialogue was nicely kept in character. You have a real knack for writing him. And I really enjoyed Snape being drawn into the chamber escapade. Very fun read!

Author's Response: Aww thanks! Lots more to come! Keep reading!

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Review #12, by Hogwarts27Misconceptions: Presumptive

9th January 2015:
Lovely chapter as usual. I very much enjoyed the journey into Snape's thoughts, and the interaction between Snape and Dumbledore. A very enjoyable read!

Author's Response: Thanks! I love the relationship between Snape and Dumbledore and wish JKR would have been able to show more of that in her books.

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Review #13, by Hogwarts27Divided: The Tale of the Hogwarts Founders: Chapter VII

24th December 2014:
Hi, I've been away from this website site since midsummer, but I was so glad to see another chapter of this story when I came back. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Your writing and story-telling continues to be interesting and engaging, and I really appreciated all the descriptive details you included. They really help to bring the settings and scenes to life. You've woven the Salazar back-story to make perfect sense with Canon. I can actually sympathize with Slytherin in this story. This was a great read. Thank you so much for continuing, and I will look forward to more.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so excited to see that you came back for this chapter, as I know it took me forever to update :p Thank you so much, it is really wonderful to hear that the writing is engaging and brings the story to life - ah, that's such a kind compliment! ♥ I am so glad you like the writing and the details. Poor Salazar - I really put him through the worst in this chapter, but it had to be something big to get him to go so far off the deep end as we know he did eventually. :-/ But it means a lot to me that you felt his story makes sense and that you could sympathise with him!

There is one more chapter to go, which I hope to finish before the end of the year :)

You are the best! Thanks so much for your review!


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Review #14, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: A Strike of (In)Justice

23rd December 2014:
Hi again. Terrific chapter. Well, we as readers think we know what those items in the prophecy are, but I look forward to seeing how you'll weave it into this story. I found the Malfoy trial a very interesting plot twist to explore, along with putting Umbridge back in the story, and Rita Skeeter. Both are characters who can stir up big trouble. But those hooded figures were unexpected. What a great chapter ending. I'm really looking forward to what comes next.

Author's Response: Umbridge is back and you can be sure she will stir up very big trouble. We wouldn't expect less from her, would we?

The identity of the hooded figures is revealed in the next chapter, but I doubt it will come as a big surprise. Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate them.


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Review #15, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: Training

23rd December 2014:
A lovely chapter. I thought the way you did the quidditch tryouts was fine. And I enjoyed animagi lesson, and thought Fleur made a good choice for teacher - and naturally the law might be different in France. That made good sense. And you managed another one of your brilliant chapter endings that makes me curious to keep reading. Very good story-telling.

Author's Response: I wanted to include Fleur in the story. I think she is an underestimated character. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #16, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: My First and My Last

23rd December 2014:
Well, after a long time away from this site, I'm back, and the first reading I did was back to this lovely story of yours. This was a nice little chapter, short but well done. I especially enjoyed the romantic scene at the end. It was short, yet still managed to convey just the right intensity, leaving me feeling eager for more - just like the characters. I liked the way Harry realizes that he wants Ginny for a lifetime mate. Even though we as readers know this, it's part of the storytelling that must unfold. And you told it nicely.

Author's Response: Thank you for coming back! It's good to see you didn't give up on the story. The scene with Harry and Ginny was quite a challenge for me. I'm very glad you liked it.

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Review #17, by Hogwarts27Hogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Red_headed_juliet

26th July 2014:
What a touching idea for a story. I liked this a lot. You portrayed the twins well, and really captured the emotion of the moment, while also giving it the proper humor. I especially liked the part about Fred not being able to go on without George seeing him in the mirror - 'I can't do it without you'. And then the ending where there were actually two identical letters from each twin to the other. This was a nicely done story.

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Review #18, by Hogwarts27Hogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

25th July 2014:
Hi. I really enjoyed this little story. And I liked the angle you chose to tell it from. I was expecting a conversation between Minerva and Albus, but it was so much more interesting to have it be with Snape. That was absolutely brilliant. And I really enjoyed that Minerva vented her anger on his portrait with her wand. Your description of the dust and cobwebs raining from the portrait put just the right picture in my head. And I loved the ending where Snape confesses that he did as Albus instructed. This was a very satisfying short story that managed to capture the character's feelings in a nutshell. It was well written, had good descriptions, good characterizations, and it ended on a nice note. I'm glad I read this!

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Review #19, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: A Quiet Year at Hogwarts

25th July 2014:
Hi, I always enjoy your chapters, and this one was another nice read. Hmm, so much morning free time had me wondering what you had planned to happen during that time, but by the end of the chapter, I could see at least one possible use developing for use of that free time!

I was a little surprised that Snape didn't start the class exactly on time. When Malfoy walked in late, I thought maybe Snape had waited for him, even though most teachers in the real world just don't do that. Portraying a changed Snape can certainly be a challenge. Most authors tend to let him get too soft and too outwardly caring. I always appreciate it when the authors strive to keep the gruffness and edge to his character the way you've done here. Snape's line of “Miss Granger, what a surprise” was typical cannon Snape.

I don't mind that you dropped Snape's bullying of students. The books leave it a little unclear whether Snape just did that on purpose to keep his cover as a spy, or whether it was a true part of his personality. Snape certainly suffered abuse as a child which could have made him develop a tendency to bully those he saw as being weaker than himself. On the other hand, adult Snape was an absolute master of self-control and self-discipline, who couldn't afford to show any weakness or flaws, or make foolish mistakes. So I tend to think he acted overly nasty to students on purpose, and that he just took sadistic pleasure in letting Harry bear the brunt of it in the books, just for being James' son. In either case, I think you've struck a believable balance in this chapter with Snape. He feels like he'll be a decent teacher in this story, and I look forward to reading more scenes with him.

And of course, it was nice to have Lupin back. The quiz was a good idea for a class activity. And I'll certainly be looking forward to see what happens with Harry's plan to make the full moon more pleasant for Neville. No matter how it goes, it promises to be an interesting read, and I look forward to the next chapter.

I noticed one minor misspelling - cosy should be cozy. You also described the fire as fluttering, but I wondered if you were trying to think of the word flickering, although either word would really be okay, because I can perfectly imagine a fire doing either of those things.

Author's Response: I agree with you when you say Snape probably acted overly nasty to the students in order to keep his cover. I don't really think it's a part of his personality. Harry is something different of course, but as they talked some things out between them, I would think they would act more civil towards each other, although they will never be good friends.

I'm glad you liked the idea of the quiz. I wasn't so sure if people would like that, but I had a lot of fun writing it.

I want to thank you for all of your amazing reviews. They really are a joy to read!


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Review #20, by Hogwarts27Aperkins: My one and Only Dramione : Overachiever? Meet Bad Boy.

9th July 2014:
Hi! It looks like I'm a latecomer to this little story, but I loved it! You've written the very first Dramione that I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed! Their heartbreaking saga was SO - well honest and believable. My favorite part was their first kiss. I was definitely feeling the heat of Draco's raging hormones when I read that. Hmm, getting locked in a closet - gee, who would've thunk? I loved your psycho-analysis of the ship - You said everything I ever wanted to say about the ship. And you had me laughing and smiling all the way through. Thanks for writing MY one true Dramione story. It was fantastic.

Author's Response: Oh wow. Thankyou for that review!!! I have been offline for months to a year and so I apologise ofr not having the opportunity to reply to the review!
I am so glad you enjoyed that dramione. I hate the ship (clearly, witness my destruction of it) but making it over the top ridiculous was.. surprisingly therapeutic! Thanks for the review :)


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Review #21, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: Home Sweet Home

2nd July 2014:
II loved it! I was so happy to be going to Hogwarts, and I liked that you didn't rush the story, but allowed enough time for every scene - the platform, train, Great Hall, etc. Hmm, Gabriel going to Hogwarts was a surprise, since in the books Fleur loved Beaubaton thought things were better than Hogwarts, but your story is different with her parents dead, so I could see your logic.

I enjoyed the scene where Malfoy is invited into the train compartment. His attitude was pleasantly submissive, and the others did the decent thing to invite him.

Minerva missing Dumbledore in the Great Hall was touching. And you did a sorting hat song! Boy, those are hard to write. I applaud your effort. I thought your song was marvelous! Minor imperfections are forgiveable on these. Some of the rhymes you came up with were brilliant. I enjoyed the dialogue that came after about hatstalls. Ha Ha - on Pottermore I myself was a hatstall between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, so the hat let me choose, and I picked Hufflepuff (the underdog).

Cho as flying instructor? How fitting! And I'm interested to see what you have planned for Trelawney II.

And oh my gosh, I loved how this chapter ended! It sounds like we're going to have an interesting year. What a fantastic chapter! I loved every bit of it, and look forward to the next.

Spotted 2 typos:
People at school know or names (our)
He always want to be there for the first years. (wants, wanted?)

Author's Response: Thank you for another great review! I must admit that I was quite satisfied with this chapter myself :)

I'm so glad you liked the Sorting Hat song! I kind of liked how it turned out, but I wasn't sure if people who are better in English than me would like it too.

Although McGonagall is headmistress right now, I'm sure she would much rather still have Dumbledore there. She was so loyal to him in the books.

I'm really happy you liked the ending too. I was afraid a lot of people would hate that part because of all the misery Neville has already been through. But I have a lot in store for him and it's not all that bad :)

Thanks for reviewing! I hope you continue to enjoy the story.


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Review #22, by Hogwarts27Have a Biscuit, Lupin: Have a Biscuit, Lupin

30th June 2014:
Hi, what an excellent story! I absoluted loved it to pieces. These are two of my favorite characters from the books, and you portrayed them perfectly. This story had everything a reader could ask for. It had humor, and warmth, and insight into the past. The recurring offer of biscuits was pure genius - and it was so Minerva! Congratulations on being the winner. This story truly deserves it. Thanks for writing it so the rest of us could enjoy it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! They're my all-time favourites as well, so I'm really glad I did their characters justice here. You are so very welcome, and thank you for the review!

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Review #23, by Hogwarts27Event Three: Constructive Criticism : Constructive Criticism

30th June 2014:
Hi, I enjoyed reading this little story. I have no crit about it at all. I thought it was nicely done, especially with the time limit you had. I enjoyed the way it started when the voices started to speak in the jungle. There was a felling of slight mystery to it, that I really enjoyed. I didn't know what to expect and you allowed the reader to discover it, and learn about it along with the character, which made for a very pleasant read. It was well paced, and didn't feel too long or too short. Good descriptions and dialogue too. I enjoyed the serpent heads bantering with one another, as well as talking to the witch. I had a good time reading this. Thanks for writing it.

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Review #24, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: The Last Words of Albus Dumbledore

22nd June 2014:
A very good chapter again. Oh, what a sad way for Neville to lose his grandmother, but he's grown into a very resilient and brave young man, so I know he'll do fine with the support of his friends.

I was really intrigued by what you were going to have Dumbledore left Harry in his will, and really liked what you chose. The wand missing opens up what could be a very interesting story line. And I didn't expect anything like the two memories, but they were quite fitting. The second memory allowed the chapter to end on a very touching note. A lovely read, and very well written. I look forward to the next.

Author's Response: Neville sure has lost a lot during both wars, but we know that he is a lot tougher than he seems.

I'm glad you liked the scene with Dumbledore. I was a little worried that it would come over too soppy, but I rather liked how it turned out myself so I left it the way it was.

I haven't had much time to write lately with work and the World Cup going on, but I'll update as soon as possibe. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #25, by Hogwarts27Life Goes On: Decisions

8th June 2014:
Wonderful chapter. I liked it a lot. Every scene was a good read. I especially liked the short scene with Harry worrying how Ron would take the news of Harry going back to school, and then the nice surprise that Ron felt he wasn't for the aurors yet either.

The certainty Tonks had about walking again really fit the way I imagine her to be. But even if she didn't walk again, I don't think it would be too difficult to find a way to get around with magic to help.

My other favorite scene was at the end when Harry and Ron ask McGonagall if they can come back to school. I'm looking forward to reading your version of their final year at Hogwarts, and it just feels like familiar ground for the reader to keep the main characters together for it.

I also wonder what's ahead for Neville if his grandmother really just died. That'll be a big adjustment for him. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: I thought about it when I was writing the parts with Tonks and I reckoned wizards would find a way to make it easy for anyone who couldn't walk anymore, but I don't think growing back limbs would be possible. I think not being able to use her own legs would mainly be hard mentally for Tonks. Especially because she is such an active person.

I'm glad you liked that they decided to return to Hogwarts. It just didn't feel right to split the group of friends up and to be honest, I wasn't done with Hogwarts either :)

You'll find out what happened to Neville's grandmother in the next chapter. I'm still finishing it off, but I'll update as soon as possible. It will surely be a big adjustment for him, but luckily he has his friends in the D.A. to help him.

Thank you so much for reviewing! It truly means a lot to hear your opinions and I'm really happy you are enjoying the story.


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