Reading Reviews From Member: Debo13
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Debo13Harry Potter and the Wizard's Portrait: The Recapture of the Carrows

15th December 2012:
Wow what a terrific first chapter. I've been meaning to read your story for a while and now that I have read the first chapter, my only complaint was that I should have started sooner!

Just from this first chapter I can tell that this story is going to abide by the canon - something I love and can appreciate. You have the characterization of the characters down to a tee. I can definitely learn a thing or two from you about maintaining Rowling's characterization.

You write dialogue well; it flows from line to line to the point where I can fully imagine these characters having the conversation. This may seem a mute point, but it's something easier said than done. Your dialogue makes the reader relax when reading the story - I personally am not distracted by the odd syntax or wording of your sentences. I don't mean to bore you in this review, but you do it tremendously well, so thank you! As an English student, I can whole-heartedly appreciate it!

As far as the story: great job at starting with some action (that was written beautifully, by the way... I could imagine every line as if I was watching a movie) - you got me hooked right away. I love the little tidbits of creativity, like the Death Eater prisoners betting on Peeves from their cell. Subtly hillarious! You showed the characters' emotions regarding the deaths of their friends in a very believable way that seemed realistic and most importantly, not fake. Simply showing the different things at Madam Pomfrey's disposal was cool because it was something that is not given alot of attention to in the novels other than Skele-gro... it adds real depth to your world. Finally, you've got the quirky, comical side of the wizarding world down pat making your own creative additions to the wizarding world fit in seamlessly. Bravo!

I can't wait to read the next chapters in your story - you most definitely have a reader in me! I've (at this point) got 28 chapters more ahead of me so I can't wait plunge in to the story over the break! Excellent start to the story! I'm very curious where the story goes from here!

Author's Response: Hi and welcome to the story! I'm so glad you started reading and enjoyed the first chapter so much. And thanks for leaving such a lovely review. This is my first fan-fiction, and also the first novel-length piece of writing I have ever done, so to get comments as nice as yours is really encouraging. The writing definitely still has some rough edges that could use smoothing out, and there are places I notice that the story lags too much especially in the early chapters, but such is the learning process. I'm grateful that readers are able to enjoy the story despite the flaws.

I'm glad you enjoyed the action scene in this chapter. I thought it would be a good way to get the story rolling. Action scenes are something I seldom see in most HP fan-fiction since a lot of writers seem to focus on writing romance, so I made a point of deliberately including some action in my own story, both in this chapter and others. I;'m glad you thought it was well written and worked.

One thing I've really been striving for is to get the feel of the magical world and the characters 'right', so I was delighted by your comments that you thought I had the characters and dialogue believable and right. One character I know I didn't get just right is Shacklebolt. I never really got a good sense of what he was like or how he talked from the books, so the dialogue I gave him in this story is pretty generic, so I apologize in advance for that.

Another thing I tried to do was to make the story fell well-rounded. There are plenty of scenes I put in that have nothing to do with the main plot, but that I wrote just to add richness, humor, or detail to story that I hope readers will enjoy the same way I do. I really appreciated you mentioning the things you've noticed already and letting me know you like them being included.

With regard to canon, let me just say that while I've tried to keep the story close to canon, it's not strictly canon. There were times when I deviated a little on purpose, and sometimes a little by accident because it's been a long time since I've read some of the books. My aim was simply to write a good story rather than trying to make every little thing agree with canon. But I hope it's close enough for even canon lovers to enjoy.

Well, all of the nice things you said in your review really made my day! It was certainly a pleasure to hear from you, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story as much as you've enjoyed the first chapter. I do update regularly, and usually post a new chapter about every 3 weeks.


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Review #2, by Debo13Daughter of voldemort: The troubled one

31st May 2011:
I'm glad you were able to slow the suspenseful pace somewhat. I think its neccessary for the audience to be really shocked when that next big surprise happens instead of constantly being thrown in to the fire.

However, you were still able to interestingly further the story without any form of suspense. The vision/ memories that Trelawney sees at the end of the chapter really adds some intrigue to the story. Can't wait to read Chapter 6 so update this story soon!

Author's Response: I will have to update now. I think I will make the update of this story my main target next time round. Thanks again for the review and watch out for the update very soon.

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Review #3, by Debo13Daughter of voldemort: The Mother.

31st May 2011:
As shocked as I was to find out the mother was Moaning Myrtle, I find that it really fits in well with the story. It may help to explain her behaviour we have all seen throughout the main books. I've got no idea whats going to happen next (and that's a good thing!). 10/10 for this chapter! (Though this was probably achieved just for the surprise and suspense of it all itself!)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Others have been just as surprised. Thanks again for the awesome review, and rating.

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Review #4, by Debo13On My Own: On My Own

27th May 2011:
Lovely story. You almost had me in tears for a moment there and that does not happen often! You really did a terrific job with your imagery here and the moment where Ginny sees Harry for the final time was very emotionally touching. Great work, I look forward to reading more from you. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I'm so happy that my story could touch you so.

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Review #5, by Debo13In Azkaban: In Azkaban

27th May 2011:
Wow. This is some of the most beautiful writing that I have seen on this entire site. In 500 words you are able to catch every aspect of what I always imagined Azkaban to be like. You said things that I had thought of but never as able to put the words to it. In other words, you characterized how Azkaban would feel, not just look, smell etc.

This is excellent work. Now that I've read this I'll definitely be looking at some of the other work you have to offer! 10/10

Author's Response: Wow -- thank you so much for such a beautiful review. :3 It really made my day to wake up to this! Thank you!!!

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Review #6, by Debo13Perfect Moments: Perfect Moments

21st May 2011:
I really really liked it. I'm glad you chose to write about this brief time period as I think it adds a realistic dimension to possibly the most pivotal part in the entie 'Harry Potter' saga - after all, it was the moment that everything started.

I found you were effective in tapping in to the emotions of the situation; it was a part of the storyline that we never really had much insight to, and I felt this story really brought it together nicely. Knowing that this is a one-shot, i appreciated how you did not try to do too much, which would make it uneffective. You did the small things really well with this work.

Hope to read more from you soon!

Author's Response: Ah, thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #7, by Debo13Murder at the Hog's Head: Prologue

21st May 2011:
Very interesting prologue, indeed. I really appreciate you taking the time to follow the original canon and storyline; it makes for the story as a whole to seem more realistic. I think it is interesting that you have taken some of the facts that we know (Kingsley becoming Minister) but have added their own personal dilemma to the situation. Excellent work!

Author's Response: Thanks, I like Harry Potter too much to change any of the canon, but I like to expand on it

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Review #8, by Debo13Daughter of voldemort: THE DAUGHTER

20th May 2011:
Wow nice surprise there with Trelawney! Really feel like the story has an even greater potential now because there are so many things that I could see happening with that storyline. The frantic pace you are working at is adding another bit of excitement to the story; I wish it was a bit longer! Now I' m wondering where you are going to go with this next. Good chapter, going to read on!

Author's Response: Glad your still enjoying the story. I thought that Trelawney would be the perfect person for the honour of being the daughter. I wanted to try and explain about why she always seemed such a clueless person most of the time. Also the idea of her being adopted would explain how she was a rubbish seer. Working on the next chapter now. Thanks once again for the fab review.

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Review #9, by Debo13The Last Man Standing: The Ball

20th May 2011:
Absolutely loved it!

I find your portrayal of Harry to be extremely realistic, which is much appreciated (its a subject that I find we have many similarities on as I'm also writing a novel in the same time frame as yours). Your writing is flawless; you have the characters down pat and you wrote in a way that seemed to fit in with what I identify to be 'Harry Potter' but at the same time, you put your own spin on things which made it unique.

This chapter really shows your talent from a creative stance too; i especially loved the creative bits about the thestrals pulling the carriages. Its small moments like these that really make the story stand out and makes the reader able to identify with the world that Harry is in now.

Excellent work, can't wait to read more!
10/10

Author's Response: Holy cow.you are really, REALLY to kind. This review was beautiful and totally made me beam at my computer screen like a moron :)

I've been so horrid at updating but I've actually been writing this fic lately so hopefully it'll be updated soon! :) Thank you so incredibly much for this beautiful review, darling!

~Chelsea


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Review #10, by Debo13Daughter of voldemort: Daughter of Voldemort

20th May 2011:
Love how you picked up the story right after the final duel, thought that was really cool. Very intrigued to see where this unique story is going right now, good work!

Author's Response: Thank you. Please keep reading, more surprises to come. And please feel free to read any of my other stories and tell me what you think.

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