Reading Reviews From Member: LadyL8
359 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LadyL8We Lived: We Lived

20th June 2016:
* For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event*

Hi Roisin.

Iím still here for the LGBTQA+ Pride Review, but I probably wouldíve come here anyway because this is one ship I really want to read about. And Iíve seen a lot of ships, but I donít think I ever seen a story about these two. And I think thatís kind of strange, because Iíve always believed something more may have been there, if only unrequited. And if so, I do believe it would be Doge as well, as I firmly believe Albus really did love Gellert. So yeah, this was just what I imagined, so I really enjoyed reading it.

I feel for poor Doge. Iíve never been in love at all, but I can just imagine how painful it must be to be in love with someone that doesnít love you back. And especially when that someone is your friend. And I donít really like the way Albus acts here, because I do think he knows that Doge like him, and he isnít exactly discouraging him. So Doge never really gets a chance to move on, because Albus is always there, until the very end. And itís sad to see him facing that for so long, but I do find it believable and I can totally imagine all of this happening. So I do like the story even though itís kind of heartbreaking to read.

And I really like your description. I said that in the last review as well, but Iíll just repeat it because itís just as good here. I really envy you for being so good at it, because I often find myself struggling quite a lot with just describing things as well I want to. And youíre just a natural at it really. So Iím impressed, I admire you and I really hope I can return to your page sometime soon to read a little bit more. Anyway, thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed reading the story.

- Lotte

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Review #2, by LadyL8Wolf Like Me: O here comes that moon

20th June 2016:
* For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Challenge*

Hi Roisin.

Itís been so long. How are you? I really hope youíre doing fine. But yeah, Iím here for the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Challenge, and Iím actually at the airport right now, waiting for my plane to arrive, so I have to read shorter stories just to make sure I can finish them in time. And this one was just perfect and it looked interesting. And I do love a good WolfStar so I thought Iíd give it a read. And Iím really excited so letís just get started right away.

Wow. This was so beautiful, and different from anything Iíve ever read before. It was almost like poetry. So beautiful, and it flows likeÖ well, if I was good at this then I would probably be a much better writer, but Iím not so letís just say the flow was just right. And you had so much description. I felt as if this was all just happening before me, that I could see the four marauders and hear Remusí thoughts. It was just really well-written, and Iím often impressed by your work, but this one was just different somehow. It was just really, really beautiful. Also, this line: ďManic dreamer, hopelessly cool, I gave him all of my hideous and all of my monsterĒ. Okay, I donít even think I have words to describe how much I liked that part. Yes, Iím speechless right now. You got me speechless, because itís so, so good.

And I canít believe this is just 500 words. I wouldíve thought it was a lot longer. How in the world did you get so much into such a short story? I mean Iím often surprised by all of the 500 words stories, because I often feel like the writer puts much more thought into his/her thoughts when thereís a word limit. But you just hit it out of the park. It really felt like I was reading a much longer story, and thatís a compliment just so itís clear. I donít know, it was just surprising how much you could get into a 500 words piece. And I love the story, the description, characterisation etc. Everything was just great. Thank you so much for sharing!

- Lotte

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Review #3, by LadyL8Dear Gellert: Dear Gellert

18th June 2016:
* For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event*

Hi Frankie.

Iím was looking for stories for the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event, and this story looked good and didnít have any reviews yet. So I thought Iíd come by and leave you, your first one. And seeing as I love Taylor Swift and Albus/Gellert, I just think Iíll love this story as well. And let me tell you, I did love it.

I felt like you really got the feel of the song - one of her most personal and heartbreaking songs too - into the story, and I didnít expect it to be such a good match - Dumbledore and Taylor Swift isnít the most normal combination, I think I can safely say - but it actually did work. Albus was young and played by Grindelwald, and Taylor was young and played by the older John. Itís surprisingly a really good match, and I really felt for poor Albus.

Now thereís really just one tiny little comment I have. I noticed that you misspelled ďGrindelwaldĒ as ďGrindewaldĒ quite a few times in the story. Thatís just a small typo that can easily be fixed though, and the rest was okay. So all in all I think you did an amazing job. You really made me sympathise with Albus, and my heart really did break for him. And you also got the feel of the song into the story, so just good job. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!

- Lotte

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Review #4, by LadyL8Swept Away: Swept Away

18th June 2016:
* For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event*

Hi There.

Iím was looking for a story for the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event, and I came across this one and I knew I had to read it. You see Percy/Oliver is a guilty pleasure of mine. I love the two of them together, and I just feel like it could very well be true. Itís just that the two of them would fit each other a lot I think. Oliver would help Percy relax more with the schoolwork and stuff, while Percy would help Oliver take it more seriously and not just focus on Quidditch. And they are the same age too, so I feel like it couldíve happened. And in my head it did happen.

Anyway. So this was a very different way of telling a story. I donít think Iíve ever seen anyone write like this beforeÖ at least not on HPFF. And I like that this is basically them arguing over when the relationship between these two characters started. Usually stories that focus on this ship is all about whether or not theyíll end up together. Here we know theyíll end up together, and itís just a story of how they ended up falling in love with each other. I quite like that all the characters had a different beginning. Itís certainly realistic, and I feel like it gave us the chance to hear more of how exactly they did end up together. We didnít just hear about one moment, we hear about several. And I didnít think Iíd like that way of doing it, but I really did.

The story was just fluffy, sweet and amazingly well-written. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!

- Lotte

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Review #5, by LadyL8Third Time's a Charm: Two Stars, One Constellation

18th June 2016:
* For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event*

Hi Bianca.

I was looking for stories for the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event, and I came across this one. It looks really good, and I really like Albus/Scorpius, or Scorbus if youíd like, so I just knew I had to read it. And then I havenít read anything of yours in a very long time so it was probably about time I did so anyway. So yeah, I think Iíll just get right to the actual review part.

I think the reason why I love Albus and Scorpius is the fact that they are friends. I love friendship to love stories, because I feel like itís so realistic. Thatís how many couples get together in real life, and then I feel like daring to try a relationship with a long-time friend takes so much courage, because if it fails you risk losing your friendship too. So you donít enter those kind of relationships easily. You go into them fully prepared to fight to make it work, and thatís why the relationship often end up working.

Now I really like your Albus and Scorpius. I felt for Scorpius from the very first line. Iíve never been in love myself, but it must be hard to see your best friend date lots of girls and know youíre so madly in love with him. And I really liked that that you show his feelings, his problems with hiding them and that this gradually becomes harder until you reach this scene at the end here where itís like heís been hiding his feelings so long, he simply canít hold them in anymore. And they are so awkward and adorable and I donít even have words. It was a really beautiful scene, and it made me smile and thatís definitely a compliment. So amazing job, Bianca. Thanks for sharing.


Author's Response: Ee hi Lotte!

Aw you are so very sweet, I can't thank you enough for everything you've said. I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you my darling ♥

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Review #6, by LadyL8Blank: Blank.

17th June 2016:
*For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event*

Hey Hayden.

So it took me a while, but Iím finally here to read this story. Now I first want to start by saying that I love that you wrote about this, because I myself identify as aromantic and I feel like there are not enough aromantic characters in stories. So yeah, I just want to thank you for writing this before Iíve even read it, because it means a lot to me. With that being said, letís get to the actual review.

Okay, so I really think you did a good job when it comes to describing the feelings and wellÖ characterize Luna I guess could you say. I could relate a lot, because there are some things here that I think anyone who is aromantic would have experienced at some point. I did for example often find myself not needing or caring much for a boyfriend, and I often said, and I still do today actually, that I honestly donít believe in love. And people do think you just need to wait for the right person, but I really hate when people say that cause why does everything have to be about finding a guy/girl? Why canít you just be happy and single? I really wish society would see that thereís nothing wrong with that, and that they would stop putting pressure on you to be with someone.

Iím probably around the age Luna is at the end of this story, when sheís cut contact cause she canít handle the comments. Again, I can relate to that, because society is just mean to people that want to be single. Sorry, I will try not to be so angry, but thatís something that really makes me angry. Itís that overwhelming feeling of no one understanding that you just want to be alone, and that, thatís okay. Youíre blank. Iím blank. Lunaís blank. And we arenít taught nearly enough about feeling like that, and because of that we are ignorant. We donít understand. We put pressure on people. Itís not okay. I really wish it will change.

Okay, Iím done ranting. Over to your writing. I love that you wrote it in second personís POV. Itís a POV Iíve grown to love over the last year or so, and I think that, if you do it right, it can end up being a really good story with this perspective. With story, it just felt like the right POV, because itís like youíre telling us what itís like, what it feels like, that itís okay to feel like this and to be different. And while I havenít read a lot of your work, I do think this is the best one so far. It really captures an emotion, and has a message about accepting yourself, but at the same time it doesnít focus entirely on her sexuality. It also covers her life, what sheís done instead of finding a boyfriend, marry and have kids. It was great to see, and such an important story to tell. Good job. Thanks for writing it and for sharing it. Like I said before, it means a lot to me.


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Review #7, by LadyL8Running: Thoughts

27th March 2016:
Hi There.

I thought I should try to read stories by some authors Iíve never read before, and this story looked interesting so I figured Iíd give it a try. Iím glad I did, because I think you have so much potential here. This is a really good introduction, and I hope Iíll get to read more of it later on. Anyway, hereís my thoughts.

I really like the narrator. I think you got her voice just right, and thatís hard to do and especially so early on in a story. I really felt like I got a sense of who she is, and I love that she has a passion for running. Iím curious about what exactly she is running from, because she did mention she was running from things that scare her, but what are those things? I hope weíll find out eventually. And I think sheís right in saying that there really isnít a lot of sports at Hogwarts - not that we know about anyway - itís just Quidditch really, and thatís not a sport for everyone. So yeah, she seems smart, and I really like it.

I think you did a good job at introducing us to the story and the character as well. My only note would be that you have some really long sentences in there, so maybe you could add some commas so itíll flow a little bit better. But I really like the story, and the ending makes me wonder who that lone figure was. I think he might be important for the story. HmÖ I have some theories, but I guess Iíll have to come back later to find out for sure. But yeah, good job. I liked the story!

Now Iím actually here because of the annual fundraiser review competition. I donít know if youíve been here for a while or not, but I really hope you like it here at HPFF. We actually have a fundraiser going on now, and itís all about saving the site through donations. Iím sure weíd both love to see HPFF around for many mores years to come. So if you havenít donated already, please consider doing so, so we can keep the magic alive.

Love Lotte

Author's Response: Hi Lotte!!
Thank you so much for reviewing, and sorry it took me so long to reply!
I'm really glad you think that my story has potential, there's definitely unanswered questions that will be answered later on and I'm glad she's seems smart, because I intended her to be quite a philosophical character who thinks a lot.
Thanks for the tip about the long sentences, I'll definitely take that on board!
You're right that we need to keep the magic alive and I love HPFF so I've done what I can.
Thanks again for taking the time to review my story!
Love Beka

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Review #8, by LadyL8Two Conversations: Two Conversations

27th March 2016:
Hello There.

Iíve been trying to read more stories, and I thought Iíd read this one since Iíve never read any of your stories before. I just want to start by saying that I love the idea. Iíve always wanted to see a story about this conversation, but this is the first one Iíve seen I think. I feel like you got the characters right. Hermione is the wise one, reflective and honest, but at the same time she is understanding. Ginny is kind of awkward about the whole thing, but it canít be easy to ask for advice about a boy, especially when youíre asking said boyís best friend. So yeah, it was just really believable.

Youíre really good at dialogue. I struggle with that myself, because it often ends up sounding too forced, and you donít want that. I didnít get that feeling when I read your story, so thatís a good thing. I guess my only note would be that maybe you couldíve added a little more description, because Iíd love to get an even better feeling of the environment and the atmosphere I guess. But I really think you did an excellent job. I love that Hermione pointed out the real problem so fast, and the time-jump was good because it allowed us to see whether or not Ginny actually followed the advice (well, we knew she would, but I still really liked that you had that time-jump).

So yes, this is a good story. I really loved it.

Now we havenít spoken before, so Iím not sure if youíre new here or not, but I hope you like it here at HPFF either way. We actually have an annual Fundraiser going on. Itís all about saving this wonderful site through donations, and even the smallest one can make a huge difference. Now Iím sure weíd both love to see HPFF around for many years to come. So if you havenít already, I hope you consider donating so we can keep the magic alive!

Love Lotte

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I understand about the description, but it was one of those stories that I wanted to centre around the dialogue more than anything. I do tend to use description when I can in my other stories. As for the donation, once I am financially better position (sometime soon) I will more than happy to donate!

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Review #9, by LadyL8FEAR...: FEAR...

6th March 2016:
Hello There. I'm Lotte, and I'm also leaving a review for the HPFF Review-A-Thon. I am however glad I got to read this. I always try to find new authors and read some of their work. You never know if you'll find a diamond somewhere in the mass group of stories you've never read, so it's a good goal to have :)

This is an interesting story. Before I comment on it, I hope you don't mind me asking, but is this one of your first stories? I'm just asking because I don't remembering seeing you name around before, but I might've overlooked you of course. And I'm just curious, too curious for my own good really. So yeah, if you don't want to, you don't have to answer that. Feel free to ignore it completely really.

Anyway, the reason why I think this is an interesting story is because it's really just about one event. Normally the fics here, even the really short ones, focus on several events or one big event. Yours is just about a class where your character came up with something clever, and it makes it stick out a little, but in a good way of course. I love just seeing like one small almost everyday-like event in character's life, because even that small thing really tell us a lot about the character. Here for example I can tell that Schuyler is a clever girl, creative even. She loves her country (I'm taking a stab in the dark and saying you're American too. This is an amazing way to show your love for your own country), and she kind of reminds me of Hermione. Just totally planning everything out beforehand, reading herself up on a class before she's had it. So yeah, you tell us a lot about your character in just this small scene.

I also love the way your worked in the quote. I'm not American. I've never been to America, and I know very little about America, so the quote was actually new to me, but it makes sense. Fear really is the scariest thing out there, and I think that quote not only showed her love for America, but also inspired her classmates. It must've been comforting to see that before you're about to take on a boggart. So yeah, she is a clever one, that Schuyler.

I always try to give authors a little bit feedback on what they improve, and I think description is that thing for you. While I love this "telling the story-style" you're working (as if the narrator is actually telling us the story of what happened), I do wish we had a little bit more description so I could imagine the scene in my head. The description you did have was so good, so it's just about adding a little bit more. It's often hard to see that yourself, so I thought I could mention it.

But that's it really. The rest of this story is so good. I love the small, subtle characterisation. Like you're giving us small hints as to what kind of person Schuyler is, and it's just such a clever way to do it. So I'm impressed, and especially if it is actually one of your first stories. Also, I love the quote, and I think it was so interesting that Schuyler's fear is actually like "fear itself", so the change is kind of like saying "I'm scared of you yes, but you're also the only thing I should be scared of". Did that make sense? I feel like that might've been confusing. Sorry if it was. I tend to ramble way too much, and then I make no sense whatsoever. Yeah, it's been known to happen :P

Anyway, I hope you have an amazing day. Thanks for sharing the story. I hope to see more of your work again sometime in the future.

Lots of Love


Author's Response: Thank you! Also this is my second story, which is probably why you haven't seen much of me.

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Review #10, by LadyL8The Best Day Ever: Bad Start

6th March 2016:
Hi there. I'm Lotte, and I'm also reviewing for the HPFF Review-a-Thon. But I'm so glad I got to read this story, because for a first story, this is really good. I'm impressed! :)

So I love Harry and Ginny. I'm such a Hinny shipper and not afraid to talk about it. So a story about the two of them is just my kind of story. And I think this was just so cute. I do feel like Ginny was having a tough morning, and it made me feel bad for her really, because I've overslept quite a few times myself and it's always stressing. You just need to hurry and grab something, put it on quickly, and very often you'll later discover you put on something strange or it's on backwards or something like that. Thankfully Ginny had Harry to help her out there, so she didn't make a complete fool of herself.

You know I loved that scene where they meet when he's returning to pick up something and she is about to leave. There's so much tension there that you could practically feel it, and it just became this amazing moment where you really see what kind of impact Harry has on her - she is actually a bit breathless when he comes close. It makes it so obvious that she is into him, so clear that she is in love with him, and he is so clearly in love with her too. And as a reader you're just sitting on the edge of your seat hoping they'll kiss, but then Molly ruins everything and you don't like her every much (well, you do, but not right now) :P

But did Harry really return to pick up something? I feel like Ginny's last comment there about it taking such a short time could be interpreted as him having only returned to meet her maybe. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into this? It's been known to happen :P

Anyway, I think what I'd work on is description. You're descriptions are good, I even said that earlier. I just think you could perhaps add a bit more of it. In the beginning everything happens really quickly, which in a way makes sense because Ginny is in a hurry, but I'd love to see a little bit more of what she sees, smells, hears and feels. I think it would make it even easier to imagine it all happening in my head.

But I think other than that you've done an amazing job. I'm really impressed, because this is ten times better than my first story in the archives. I'm sure that you'll develope into an even more amazing writer once you've written a few more stories and learnt your own strengths and weaknesses. Because this is such a good starting point, and I think I'll definitely be back and read more of your work sometime in the future because I'm really interested in seeing more of your work. Best of luck with the rest of your writing. And thank you so much for sharing!

Hope you'll have an amazing day

Lots of Love


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Review #11, by LadyL8The Halls of Hogwarts - A Collection: To Theodore and Bianca

4th February 2016:
Hello Again, June!

Wow. This episode type of writing really works for you. You do it so well. It doesnít feel like randoms jumps in time, but like each episode have a meaning, they all add something to the whole story. Thatís really what I wish to see in stories with a structure like this, and youíve done it in both your chapters, so Iíve really started liking this way of writing already. Itís creative and really good!

I have to say you kind of broke my heart with this story. Like you, I was rooting for the two of them. It really felt like theyíd be a great couple, but then you twisted the whole thing around when we finally got to see his view on the same scenes weíd already seen from her POV. I could really feel Biancaís pain, and while I feel sorry for Theodore too, because heís obviously having deep issues himself, it doesnít excuse the way he treated her.

But that twist, that switch in POV, it was so effective, so powerful. It kind of reminded me of the book ęGone GirlĽ by Gillian Flynn, because that one too shows that every story has two sides. Sometimes they are somewhat the same, but other times they are completely different. Bianca falls in love with Theodore, so she doesnít really see the signs of this not being a good relationship until sheís in too deep. Itís sad to see, but very believable. And so creative. You really surprised me, even though I obviously knew they wouldnít end up together because this story is for the ęI donít love youĽ Challenge. Wow. That really was good! Keep up the good work, and I really hope to come back to read more of this in the future!

Lots of Love


Author's Response: Thank you again for the multiple reviews!

Sometimes, I tell myself not to write the way I do, but it's just a style that I'm so used to writing that it comes out that way.

Thankfully, I was able to deliver the story well. Theodore's a jerk. Hahahaha. He should've really thought more about his actions. *shakes head*

Team Bianca, all the way. XD

I've never read Gone Girl (though I do, one day). It's interesting to hear that my story has some similarity in structure.


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Review #12, by LadyL8The Halls of Hogwarts - A Collection: Say a Prayer

4th February 2016:
Hello June.

I realized I never actually reviewed your story like I said I would, so I decided to leave you two reviews now to make up for it. It looks really good, and the summary and banner is just amazing. I canít wait to read it really, because my expectations are really high right now :)

I have to say that Iíve only read like three stories that have been structured the way youíve done it here - with episodes and jumps in time like this. Normally I find it difficult to follow, because I never feel like I really get any of the scenes completely - the author tends to jump in time a little too quickly. Here however, I actually think you nailed it. You showed us just enough to really set a scene, and then each jump in time really gave us a new piece of the puzzle. It was like we were peeling of layers to understand this boy, who Iím still not sure about the identity of (Iím guessing Ted Tonks because of the Snatcher-thing and the description and all that, but I could be way off), but itís like 3 AM when Iím writing this so that could possibly be the reason :P

I liked Melinda. Sheís a great OC. I find OCs so hard to write, because they have to believable, and very often they end up just being very Mary Sue-ish. You did great though. It just felt like she belonged in the HP-universe, and I believed in her character. I think her connection with the mystery guy, or Ted Tonks as I will refer to him from now on, is interesting. He has cleared had a traumatic experience (well, heís dead, so thatís very obvious), and if Iím right then itís interesting that he would bond with a Black (because Iím guessing Melinda is a part of the Black family), considering their dark reputation and their role in the wars. But then again, Andromeda was also a Black, and he loved her, so I guess I can imagine him seeing past the name alone.

I love the ending scene. That last sentence is such a good end sentence. It really has an effect, and I think you built up to it just enough. You didnít overdo it, you pretty much nailed the suspense. So I really loved this story. It was great, powerful and tragic, but great. Youíre a really good writer, June. Itís a shame more people havenít reviewed it, because I think you did amazingly for being so new to this site and all that. So good job! I loved it!

Lots of Love


Author's Response: Thank you for the multiple reviews, Lotte!

I do so appreciate them. (Why did I just say it like that?? lol) It was such a treat coming back from my 2 month hiatus and reading your lovely reviews.

Yes, it's about Ted Tonks! I don't necessarily think that it was super important to have his name, so I just thought, let's just describe this man and see what people will think. I'm glad that it came across well enough.

I hope to write more with Melinda. I didn't think I wrote her that well, but I'm glad that you liked her! (It seems like another person did too.)

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!!!

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Review #13, by LadyL8How to Fix Your Sibling (The Art of Getting Even) : Chapter 7

20th December 2015:
Hello Meg and Em.

Iím sorry for taking so long to get here. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick with a throat infection, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again with the flu. But better late than never, right? :)

Okay, so Iíll be doing something here to make sure I get the results up quickly. While you will get a review on every chapter regardless of the results of the challenge (that was one of my promises after all - a review on every chapter), I will only review the last chapter now. I have read every chapter and will now give you a review that basically sums up my opinion of the whole thing. And I will leave the review after the categories in the judging point system. Also, when you read this, the results should already be up (Iím posting it right after I post this), and I just want to say congratulations guys! I really loved the story! :)

Iíll start with ďfirst impressionĒ, one of the new categories that give very little points, but help me a little. I love the banner, and I think it really helps draw the readers in. But itís not just the banner - the title and summary are both good, and it really makes me want to read the story, so good job with that. And I can tell just from that, that itís going to be a really funny story. I have three sisters myself, and recently got two stepsiblings as well, so I feel like Iíll be able to relate to this a lot.

I have to applaud you for several things. First of all the idea. I love that you guys have written something completely different from all of the other entries, and it gives you a high score in creativity. As you guys might know, I love Next Gen-stories, and there's actually just two (you guys included) that have written in that era. And itís just great that youíve taken the family/friendship theme, and actually included a little of both. You show the great things about family, but also that family, and particularly siblings, can be the most annoying people in the world... sometimes. Theyíre the ones that get on your nerves the most, but also the ones you love the most. And then you see that bonding over siblings can lead toÖ you could say a partnership, but I like to think of Rose and Teulia as friends-in-the-making. Itís a clever idea, and I donít think Iíve seen anything quite like on HPFF. So yeah, I love the idea!

Second of all I love the dialogue and characterisation. Iíve always felt like you two are excellent at creating these recognizable voices; you donít need to be told whoís speaking, cause you can tell by the line or just the wording. Itís a difficult thing to do, but youíre both really good at it. I love that we see Teulia, whoís the outsider type of girl, bookish, quiet and keeps to herself, together with Rose, whoís more social (perhaps because she has to be in the family sheís born into), loud and outspoken. Itís a really interesting contrast, but at the same time we see that theyíre not really that different either. They both have disagreeable siblings, and thatís what makes them bond in the first place. And itís really believable and, if you ask me, perfectly done.

And then thirdly, I have to applaud you for your teamwork. You guys, more than anyone else that have participated in the challenge, have shown true teamwork. Youíve written far more than anyone else have, and you can just tell by the story alone that youíve enjoyed working together. You have similar writing styles, and your writing really blends together perfectly. And youíre both hilarious when you write on your own, but even more so when you write together. I have truly had a blast reading this, and youíve made me laugh several times (Iíll get more into detail about this when I leave the other six reviews). I hope you continue to write it, because itíll get a favourite from me and Iíll definitely do my best to continue to follow it, because Iíd love to see the unbearable siblings get paired together :P

Sorry again for the long wait. I hope you can forgive. Now I just want to finish this by saying thank you for participating in the challenge. Iím honored you guys even considered it, and even more that you actually wrote an entry. Congratulations guys! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and happy new year!

Lots of Love


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Review #14, by LadyL8Shine: Shine

18th December 2015:
Hi Kristin

Iím sorry for taking so long to get here. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick with a throat infection, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again with the flu. But better late than never, right? :)

So with the collab entries Iíve review after the categories in the judging point system, but since this is a one-shot thatís linked to another, I think Iíll actually just leave my thoughts and comments and just ramble on like crazy. And then maybe bring attention to the categories I feel fit the most for an entry like this, but I wonít tell you the score because that would reveal the winner before Iíve announced who it is. Iím also just going to say right now that Iím reading this after Iíve read Chiaraís part, but Iíll come back and re-read hers again after Iíve read yours, because I want to make sure Iíve read it in both possible orders.

Okay, so now that that is done, Iíll talk about the actual story. I want to start by saying that you should probably read Chiaraís review as well, because Iím not going to repeat everything I said about the idea and all that here. So I recommend you read that one as well, because this one will focus on your story as well as the link between the two one-shots. Also, should the review end up being too long, Iíll PM the rest to you in a group message, but it hasnít happened so far so I doubt itíll come to that. Just letting you know in case it should happen.

And Iíll actually start by saying a little about the link. I mentioned this Chiaraís review, but I didnít say much about the link between the one-shots in that one cause I hadnít read yours yet, so Iíll add some about that here. I really feel like you two have solved this challenge well. I thought it was really clever to use a canon character and add a sister to him, and then use that relationship to explain a canon event. And I love that you see it from both siblingsí perspectives, and that the stories really fill each other out. But what I thought was actually the cleverest, and youíre the only ones that have done this so itís definitely high score on creativity for that, was that you have structured your stories in the same way. You both start it with these short paragraphs that capture the readerís attention, and leaves us with a whole lot of questions that we want the answers to. And then you move on to a paragraph with description, and it really helps set the scene. And I just love that youíve actually done more than just tells the same story from two different perspective, but actually written it somewhat similarly as well. So itís just really clever, and good job!

Itís really great to read this part after having just finished Chiaraís. I love that in her part she quickly mentions her brother playing Dumbledore and Grindelwald when he was younger, and here we actually see it. And I also love that this part just explains so much of the questions weíre left with at the end of Chiaraís part. Your stories just fill each other out so nicely, and I love that you mention to keep the same characterisation and the same - I donít know what the word isÖ feeling I guess - to both of the one-shots.

You know I didnít actually say this in the other review, but I guess thatís because itís the most obvious here. Zacharias is just a true Hufflepuff if you ask me. Itís honorable to acknowledge your own weaknesses and fears, and to stay loyal to your family and do everything in you to keep them safe. Itís as heroic to do that as it is to fight in the Battle if you ask me, because heroes they come in all shapes and forms. Zacharias is scared, but he stays and protects her. And thatís admirable.

I love that you guys take an unliked character and make him seem misunderstood and actually more likable. Itís a really original and clever idea, and Iím so happy you guys came up with it. I have to say Iím happy and honored you guys decided to participate in the challenge, and Iím so glad I got to read this because you two really brought out the best in each other. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!

Lots of Love


PS: The results should be up this weekend. Look out for a blog post :)

Author's Response: No worries on delay - it's far more important that you take care of yourself and your real life first. I hope your dad is okay, and that you feel better soon! *hugs*

I did read your review for Chiara as well - I'm so glad you like the idea of our stories! Because Zacharias is so negatively portrayed in the books, we figured that his own POV and the POV of someone who cares about him would show an entirely different side to him. As for making the structure match up like that, I must give Chiara all the credit, it was all her idea. I had started writing mine in nonlinear sections just because I felt inspired to, and then when I saw her draft of her fic I was really impressed with how she'd united our stories so well and how it turned out. Thank you, I'm so glad you appreciated that structure and the similarity of the two!

Ooh, that's so wonderful to hear that both stories have the same feeling to them and that each fills in the gaps of the other.

I'm really glad you saw Zacharias as a true Hufflepuff in this! One of the things that always kind of bothered me about him in the books was that he really displayed no Hufflepuff traits and I couldn't imagine why he was one, so with these stories we were hoping to explain him a little more in depth and while not negating his faults, make him a bit more understandable. I'm so glad to hear that you thought it worked. And for the record, I'd probably be really scared of fighting in a battle as well, and scared of hearing Death Eaters breaking stuff in the flat below mine, and I really can't blame him for just hiding with Ariadne.

Thank you so much - I hope you know what a wonderful reviewer you are, because this is such an insightful and kind review and I loved it. Thank you for this review! And I saw the results and I'm just blown away! Thank you SO much for this challenge, and the wonderful opportunity to collaborate on a fic - it was so much fun, I absolutely loved working with Chiara, and I hope you had as much fun reading the entries as we did writing our stories!


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Review #15, by LadyL8The Way Out of the Maze: The Way Out of the Maze

18th December 2015:
Hello Chiara.

Iím sorry for taking so long to get here. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick with a throat infection, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again with the flu. But better late than never, right? :)

So with the collab entries Iíve review after the categories in the judging point system, but since this is a one-shot thatís linked to another, I think Iíll actually just leave my thoughts and comments and just ramble on like crazy. And then maybe bring attention to the categories I feel fit the most for an entry like this, but I wonít tell you the score because that would reveal the winner before Iíve announced who it is. Iím also just going to say right now that Iím reading this before Iíve read Kristinís part, but Iíll come back and re-read it after Iíve read hers, because I want to make sure Iíve read it in both possible orders.

Iíll start with the first paragraph. Itís really intriguing. I like that you just give us a lot of questions right away, cause that really makes us want to read the story to find some of the answers. Iím curious who this ďheĒ is and why heís considered a coward by some. Itís just a really clever way of starting the story. So I can only say good job with that! Also, I have to applaud you for that second paragraph as well. I really love getting description early on in the story, because I feel like that helps set the scene, and your description in that paragraph is just flawless. Iím extremely claustrophobic, and you almost made me feel that panic I always feel in confined spaces just through reading that - you just captured that feeling so well :)

I love that you guys did something completely different from what everyone else have done. Youíve taken a canon character and added a OC sibling, and use this relationship between these two characters to explain a canon event - Zacharias not helping in the final battle. And Iím sure many would consider him a coward for that, but I feel like - and you really get message across as well - heroes come in many different shapes and forms. Sometimes being heroic is saving others life, other times it can be equally heroic to run for your life or hide. In traumatic situation is just about surviving, and Zacharias is a true hero if you ask me. He does what Iíd do - he protects his sister.

Itís difficult to create a bond when you have two characters that we are not already familiar with. You really need to make us feel like we know these characters and that their bond seems real and that weíre in on it in a way. I felt like you did that really well, and I really loved your characterisation. Not just of the siblings, but also of Theseus. He was so dominating, that I actually felt scared from the first time we met him. Something was just really off there, all the alarms went off, and the way it developed so subtly to actual, physical violence was just terrifying, but unfortunately so realistic.

Youíve taken on a serious and sensitive theme. Some of the other entries have done the same, and youíve all just managed to do it so well. I feel like this is probably one of your best stories Chiara, maybe even the best one youíve ever written. Itís just the way you capture the feelings, make us feel like weíre as scared as Ariadne (I love that name by the way) and as angry as Zacharias when he discovers the truth. It feels like weíre their sibling too, weíre as scared and worried for her as he is, and thatís just so impressive to do.

Iím so glad and honored you two decided to participate in this challenge, and Iím so glad you wrote this part Chiara. Itís a really good part, and I canít wait to read Kristinís part now, because Iím sure sheís written a part that is just as good as yours. Also, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and happy new year!

Lots of Love


PS: The results should be up this weekend. Look out for a blog post :)

Author's Response: Lotte!!!
Don't you dare apologize for the lateness! By the way, I'm so sorry about all your troubles... Hope your dad is fine now... *hug*

I love your rambling! :) And I'm very excited and curious to know your final verdict! Let me tell you, however this goes, it was a great challenge!!!

I'm glad you liked the first paragraph. It was actually Kristin's idea in the first place, but I liked for the two pieces to have a similar structure, and I must say that I'm quite happy with how it worked! :)
And I'm so glad you liked the dream sequence too, and that the description of claustrophobia was so convincing. Thank you so much for all your compliments!

Once again, the first idea for the plot was Kristin's (I love that girl... she's amazing...) We wanted to show a different side to Zacharias, and of course we really wanted to show that sometimes you can be a hero even if you choose not to fight. He put his family first, and that's a really Hufflepuff thing to do, isn't it?

I'm so glad you felt I did a good job with the characterization, both of the siblings and of Theseus. I must confess, I was a bit scared of broaching the domestic violence subject, but I just knew that was Ariadne's story (does it make sense?) Anyway, I'm so glad you feel that I managed to approach the topic well.

Oh, thank you! *blushing* I must say, I'm quite happy with how the story turned out in the end. And I know I have to thank Kristin, because we really helped each other a lot to make our stories... shine.
By the way, I read the review you left for her as well, and I loved this sentence:
"I√ʬĬôm so glad I got to read this because you two really brought out the best in each other" It's really true, and just what I was trying to say.

Thank you for the amazing challenge and for this absolutely wonderful review! A wonderful Christmas and happy new year to you as well!!!

All my love,

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Review #16, by LadyL8Always On My Mind: Lily

18th December 2015:
Hello Sophie.

Iím sorry for taking so long to get here. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again. But better late than never, right?

So normally Iíd review after the categories in the judging point system, but this is actually the first entry Iím reading that is a one-shot thatís linked to another. Because thatís a bit different from a collab entry, I think Iíll actually just leave my thoughts and comments and just ramble on like crazy. And then maybe bring attention to the categories I feel fit the most for an entry like this, but I wonít tell you the score because that would reveal the winner before Iíve announced who it is. Iím also just going to say right now that Iím reading this after Iíve read Anjaís truly heartbreaking part, and therefore comments on the link between the two will be found in this review and not in hers. Also, look at Anjaís review for more comments on certain things in the story (like for example what I think about the idea)

So Iíve just read Anjaís story, and I have to say youíre part is just as good and heartbreaking as hers. I love that you guys chose two characters you wouldnít really imagine having a bond, but it has happened almost unconsciously, because theyíre both mothers and theyíve both lost their child because of death - Lilyís and Fredís. Youíre part really explains a lot of what Mollyís feeling in her part, because we didnít actually see Lily whispering to her or helping her there, but here we do. Itís like your parts fill each other out, and reading Anjaís part again after reading yours, it really makes the story even better. So Iím just amazed at how well youíve solved this whole linked-stories thing. This is how it should be done, and Iím just really impressed.

Like Anja, youíve captured the characters and their feelings so well, and it really just makes the story so believable. Like how Remus immediately wants to go back to Tonks and his son, or how Fred is looking for his twin and feels so lost without him. And then Sirius and Snape obviously, but it was great to see that you made James actually act nicer to him now since he saved his sonís life. It was all so believable, and thatís impressive cause the situation is definitely a difficult one to capture right.

Thereís a lot of things going on, and the whole ďworld of the deathĒ seems really chaotic, but then thatís really what death is, especially when itís deaths in war. So I felt like it was fitting here. And I said this to Anja in the review of her part but Iíll repeat it here, that ending is just so heartbreaking. Iím still in tears after her part, but it certainly didnít get any better after reading this one.

You know I said to Anja that her part was her best story ever, and I think I can say the same about you and this part. It just seems like you two bring out the best in each other, and itís really amazing to see. I hope you guys write together again in the future, because the results of your collaboration is just amazing. Youíve both broken me, and sure it mightíve helped you a little that itís a sensitive time for my family right now, but I think itís first and foremost because youíre writing is just at itís best.

Thank you so much for participating in the challenge, and thank you for writing this story. Iíve really enjoyed reading your parts. Also, I hope you have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Lots of Love


PS: The results should be up this weekend. Look out for a blog post :)

Author's Response: Wow. I don't know what to say to this lovely review.

Firstly, I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time- if you ever need to rant please feel free to pm me.

Secondly, I think this was a definite labour love for both of us. We seem to have an affinity for our respective characters. And I loved working with Anja. We worked on making our stories fit together so that some of Molly's story was explained by Lily's.

I think this is a story I a proud of, more so than my others I think.

I don't know what else to reply as I'm so overcome.

I hope you have a fab christmas and 2016 is better for you.

Lots of Love

Soph xxx

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Review #17, by LadyL8Forever in my Heart: Molly

18th December 2015:
Hello Anja.

You already know why itís taken me so long to leave this review, but I just wanted to apologize again for the long wait. Iíll hopefully be less busy in the year thatís coming, so I can get done the stuff Iím suppose to get done. But hey, the challenge results can be seen as a early Christmas gift for whoever wins it, right? A Christmas surprise or whatever. So I suppose itíll work out fine in the end :)

So normally Iíd review after the categories in the judging point system, but this is actually the first entry Iím reading that is a one-shot thatís linked to another. Because thatís a bit different from a collab entry, I think Iíll actually just leave my thoughts and comments and just ramble on like crazy. And then maybe bring attention to the categories I feel fit the most for an entry like this, but I wonít tell you the score because that would reveal the winner before Iíve announced who it is. Iím also just going to say right now that Iím reading this before Iíve read Sophieís part, but Iíll come back to this again once Iíve read hers, because I want to make sure to read this in both the possible orders.

First of all, I really love the idea of taking a canon moment, and just switching the view to let us see it from other characters perspectives. I think Molly is a good choice, and I really look forward to seeing how she views the battle, especially since she loses a child and almost loses another. So I think itís a really creative idea, and Iím looking forward to reading the story :)

I love the first paragraph. It really sets the scene, and Iím a sucker for description in the beginning of a chapter. You know, Anja, as someone thatís read a lot of your work, I have to say I can actually see youíve developed a lot as a writer. That first paragraph alone shows just how much. You instantly capture my attention, and I can really just imagine it all in my head. Itís just a really good beginning, and it makes me want to read more of it. So good job! :)

You know I rarely cry because of stories on HPFF. I can say I do sometimes, but usually that just means that I was moved - I didnít actually cry. I guess itís because itís on a computer, and I find it hard for stories to hit me the same way when I donít have a book in my hand. But this time I honestly can say - hand on my heart - that you made me cry. Maybe it was partly because of the timing. Next week is actually the anniversary of my grandpaís death, so itís a bit of sensitive time for my family right now. But I think itís mostly cause you capture Molly and her feelings so well. Sheís so believable, and my heart just bleeds for her. I can just imagine that sorrow she must feel after losing one her children, and you have so much description that I almost feel like I lost my child with her (and you know Iím not a mother, so itís impressive that you made me feel that). And I love her interactions with Bella, and her view of the whole situation with Fred and Ginny and everything else in the war.

And I love the ending. It breaks my heart. I never even thought about it that way, the similarities between the two mothers. Theyíve both lost their children; one of them because their child died, the other because she died. And itís just heartbreaking to think of how unfair life is, how unfairly itís treated these women. And I just feel itís so believable that Molly would turn to Lily, another mother, and ask if she could take care of her son like Mollyís taken care of Harry.

I can say without a doubt that this is your best story ever. Iím still crying a little right now, because you just show the exact thing I remember the most from back when my grandpa died. Itís when someone dies that you see just how great love is, but also how vulnerable it is. Iím justÖ this just killed me. I really hope you continue writing truly sad stories like this, because youíre obviously good at it.

So I guessing from this that Sophieís part is from Lilyís POV. Iím prepared to be even more broken, but Iíll enjoy every second of it. Thanks for participating in the challenge, and thank you for breaking my heart so much that Iím still teary right now (ten minutes after I finished it). Also, I hope you have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Lots of Love


PS: The results should be up this weekend. Look out for a blog post :)

Author's Response: Hello Lotte,

As much as I know what kept you, and I understandd it (and I'm so glad you're better now and your life has calmed down a little bit), I have to admit that I have been waiting for this review excitedly.

Let me just say thank you before I reply fully. I can't believe this is the first challenge I win. This is the story that means so much more to me than any other story I wrote so far, and the challenge result honours my efforts and makes me feel like it's okay to be proud of my story. So thank you so much for making me incredibly happy. I know Sophie feels the same way, we were really overwhelmed that you loved our stories so much.

wow, thank you so much for saying that my writing has developed. I think the credit for that goes to all of you guys - everyone who ever left me a review, who ever gave me constcrit. you guys have taught me a lot.

I'm (kind of) sorry for having made you cry. I've started to really love description and I like writing scenes in a way that lets people really feel it, picture it, imagine it. I like setting a scene so that everyone can see it exactly the way I picture it in my head.

I've also read the review you left sophie and I'm so glad that you like the way our stories work together. It took a lot of effort to get them to that point.

I am so happy about this review! Thank you so, so much for this. I'm actually working on another really sad story about Molly.

♥ Anja

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Review #18, by LadyL8Stories Untold: Chapter 1

18th December 2015:
Hello Erin and Joey.

Iím sorry for taking so long to leave your next review. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again. But better late than never, right?

Okay, so Iíll be reviewing this story after the categories from my judging point system. Iíve added a couple new ones, but the point is for me to show what I think about the different parts of the story. If this review should get too long, Iíll PM you the rest in a group message. I doubt it will come to that, cause none of the other challenge reviews have been that long, but Iím just telling you know in case I find a lot to comment on or just end up rambling too much.

So first of all, Iíll comment on creativity/the idea. I really like the idea. I was hoping someone would do the marauders, because they are after all one of the more famous friendships in the series. Not to mention the fact that their friendship suffers more blow than most friendships does, and Iím really looking forward to seeing how you solve that. I love the marauders, so for me this is just my type of story. And it definitely fits with the idea of the challenge, which was to show the importance of other bonds than romantic ones. I love that you choose a canon friendship. It makes you stand out a lot, cause most of the other entries have one of several OC characters. Thereís nothing wrong with that of course, but itís refreshing to see something else as well. So I really like the idea! :)

The first paragraph is amazing. It really sets a scene, and at the same time introduces us - or more like re-introduces us, because we already know him - to Sirius. You get a sense of his personality right away, and you easily understand at what time in their lives this story takes place. You have some really good description there, and you just capture my attention right away. This is just the perfect way to start a story. It really makes me want to continue reading to find out how itíll all turn out.

I think youíve done the characters justice. They are so believable, and I think thatís really difficult when it comes to the marauders. Theyíre just very hard to get right, but youíve done them so well. I like that you can practically feel the tension between them, especially between Sirius and Remus. And itís just to believable that Sirius is refusing to give up on earning their/his forgiveness. Everything is just done in such an amazing way, and I really loved how you so subtly showed the different personalities and their role in the group (thereís always role, whether one likes it or not). So definitely a high score there.

I donít have anything to say about the genre, dialogue or grammar, but that doesnít surprise me because I know youíre both amazing writers. So itíll all come down to my opinion of the story as a whole, and I can tell you I definitely like it. I think youíre characterisation is a strong point in the story. It makes the dialogue better, as well as the making the whole story seem very believable. I could probably point out that the chapter is a bit dialogue-heavy, but I don't think it's necissarily a bad thing. And the ending does what itís suppose to do; it makes us feel as disappointed and sad as Sirius and the rest of the guys. Theyíre finally appearing to be moving past this stupid (and dangerous) prank that Sirius pulled, but then Remus destroys the hope altogether. And it really makes me want to read more, because it just feels wrong that theyíre not as close as theyíre suppose to be.

So I really liked this story. Thank you for participating in the challenge, and thank you for writing this story. I hope you continue to write it, even though the challenge is now over. Also, I hope you have a very merry Christmas and happy new year!

Lots of Love


PS: The results should be up this weekend :)

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Review #19, by LadyL8Waltzing Matilda: Chapter One

18th December 2015:
Hello again Elisabeth and Emily.

Iím sorry for taking so long to leave your next review. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again. But better late than never, right?

Okay, so since Iíve already left a review that followed the categories in my judging point system, I donít see the point in doing it again. The results are probably going to be very similar anyway, so instead Iíll just voice my thoughts and probably ramble on like crazy. Again, if my review should be too long, Iíll PM you the rest in a group message. I doubt it will come to that though, cause Iíve managed to restrain myself in all my other challenge reviews, but I figured I should let you know in case it should happen.

I mentioned this in my last review, but Iíll say it again. What you guys have a talent for - the both of you - is dialogue and humour. I admire that so much cause I sometimes struggle with my dialogue and making it sound realistic, but it seems like to come almost naturally for you two. I love that everything is just so believable, and you had me laughing many times. Humour is definitely a genre for the two of you :)

So I think I said in the last review that your chapter was a bit dialogue-heavy, and I suppose I was right in saying that. You could probably say it about this chapter as well, but I donít really see whatís so wrong with that. I feel like I was bit too strict on you, cause while the chapters might be dialogue-heavy, it works well for you guys. You get the point across, you make me want to continue reading it and it never feels like Iím just reading a he said/she said-type of story. So Iím going to say that I was very harsh on you before, and reading it again I actually take it back. I think youíve solved it amazingly, and I donít think I know many people that do dialogue and humour quite as well as you guys do. And Iím really envious of it, and so happy you really show it in this story.

Whatís really good in this story, other than the dialogue, humour and the fact that this is a really creative idea, is that you have a very different but really good characterisation. I donít feel like I said much about that in the last review, and itís a shame cause itís really one of the best things about this story. I love Rose and the fact that she doesnít know anymore about the muggle world than Scorpius and Albus seem to do. People to tend to make Rose mini-Hermione - she knows everything about everything - but here she canít help them at the airport cause she doesnít know either. And it leads to the most hilarious situations, and I couldnít stop laughing at how awkward the three of them are.

I love the ending. I have this really strange obsession with kangaroos (donít ask), and I can just imagine how totally shocked and happy Iíd be if I saw 500 kangaroos in front me. I wonder if they have like a Kangaroo farm at Captain Cookís... Anyway, Iíve really enjoyed reading the story. I hope you continue it, cause Iíd love to know what happens next. I know very little about Australia, so for me this is a story that can potentially teach me a lot as well. And I think the idea is just great. Youíre scored high on creativity, that I can tell you right now.

Thank you so much for participating in the challenge, and thank you so much for writing this story. I hope you guys have a very merry Christmas and happy new year! And I wish you best of luck in the challenge!

Lots of Love


PS: The results should be up this weekend. Look out for a blog post :)

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Review #20, by LadyL8Me Without You: Chapter 1: Fred, Age 11

17th December 2015:
Hello Ellie and Sam.

Iím sorry for taking so long to get here. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again. But better late than never, right?

Anyway, I will be using the categories from the judging point system I posted awhile back. I wonít say what your score in each category is, because that would give away the winner before Iíve posted the results, but Iíll tell you my thoughts within each category and stuff like that. Iíll just start by leaving you guys a warning. This review will probably be really, REALLY long, but I hope you can still manage to read it. If I should have more to say than what I can make into this review, Iíll send you the rest in a group PM.

Iíll start with my first impression of the story, cause thatís one of the new categories Iíve added to judging point system. Itís basically what I think just from looking at the story; itís whether or not the title, summary and/or banner makes me want to read it, because I feel like that is a very important part of writing a story; you really have to make your readers want to read it.

Your story is just one of those really good-looking ones. I love the title. ďMe without youĒ actually reminds me of this song I used to love as a kid, and it was basically about a girl who felt like without the other person sheíd be lost; it was really just a song about how much this person meant to her. I believe it was written about her mother, but it couldíve easily been about a sister, brother, friend or boyfriend/husband. So it immediately makes me think this is about a strong bond, probably a family bond. And then looking at the banner, I obviously see that itís the Weasley Twins, which makes me think itís about their relationship. I feel like those two elements together have a really strong effect, because we know that Fred ultimately dies, leaving George ďwithoutĒ him. So itís a really just something so simple that so effectively manages to leave an impact on the reader. And I like that you guys kept the summary short. I feel like less is more when itís all about effecting the reader, and you manage to touch our hearts in just a few sentence. We canít help but feel sad for these twins who got separated by death. So to sum up, my first impression is good. The title, banner and summary really made me sympathise with the twins, and I am extremely excited to get to read the story. :)

Okay, so starting with actual story. I just have to say that I love that you guys write in first personís perspective. So far most of the entries Iíve read have been in third personís perspective, and I love that too, but itís just great to get to see a story from a characterís own eyes. And it makes you guys stand out a little, which is always great when youíre in a challenge. So Iím choosing to applaud you for it, cause it was just really refreshing to see something done a little bit differently.

I will move on the dialogue, grammar, writing style and genre categories, which is basically my opinion of your writing. I feel like you have a really great beginning of the story. You set a scene, and immediately makes us feel like we know Fred, which we do but itís still impressive that you make us recognize him so quickly. I love that refer to George as ďyouĒ, because it really makes us feel like weíre in on their bond, that weíre a part of it and that we can feel it. And I believe doing that will make it extremely hard for us, the readers, when/if you guys reach the death scene, cause weíll feel like weíve lost a part of ourselves as well. So itís a smart move, and it really has a powerful effect. I donít have anything to say about the dialogue or grammar, because you guys are good at that. So all in all, youíre scoring high in these categories.

I really like the characterisation as well. It was interesting to see you focus on their emotions, like how nervous they are and how they find comfort in knowing theyíre two in feeling that, rather than just make them joke around like people tend to do. I feel like they would be really nervous on their first day, anyone would be really, so to me it was just really believable and I really liked it. Also, you create this really good bond between them, show us early on that these two twin brothers are very, VERY close.

That final line is just downright cruel, cause we all know how it ends for the two of them. Itís a clever line though, and it really has a powerful effects because we know what happens to them. So Iím really impressed with what youíve done with this story, and I hope you continue to write it cause Iíd love to know what happens next :)

Anyway, thanks for sharing the story, and thanks for participating in the challenge. I hope you have a merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Lots of Love


PS: Look out for the challenge results. They will be posted soon in a blog post this weekend :)

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Review #21, by LadyL8Shattered: Chapter 3

17th December 2015:
Hello Erin and Kaitlin.

Sorry for taking so extremely long time to get back here again. Iíve had the worst three months of my life. My exam was moved forward, I got sick, my father was hospitalized and had to go through three operations and now Iím sick again. But better late than never, right?

Anyway, I'm happy to finally be back, and since this is the third and final review, I will focus on saying what I think about the story as a whole. I wonít use the categories like Iíve done in the last two reviews. Iíll just say my thoughts and probably ramble on like crazy, cause I always do that. Just so you guys know, I re-read the last two chapters before I read this one, just so I was sure I remembered everything and really got the feeling of the story :)

What I love about this story is that it really shows how talented you guys are. This is just what the two of you are best at; to make readers connect to the characters. The Barty we know in the books are not the kind of character youíd want to feel sympathetic towards, and it seems like almost an impossible job to change our opinion of him, especially considering his horrible actions later in life. Youíd be almost crazy to attempt to sway us from our belief that he is just evil, but you guys dared to do it and Iím glad you did, cause you managed to do what seemed impossible - you made me, and probably all of your other readers, sympathise with him.

In this chapter, youíre particularly cruel. You give us this sense of hope for Barty. You make us believe that once he comes to Hogwarts, things will get better for him. Heíll be away from his father, heíd get friends and have a better life. Heíd be happy, something youíd already made us feel he really deserved to be. Heís nervous and excited all at once, and we canít help but feel the same. Itís just start of a better life for himÖ or so we think.

But then from the second his boards the train, you pretty much destroy all hope we have. First he canít find an empty compartment, and ends up sitting with who Iím guessing is Snape. We think itís horrible to see him sitting there alone, cause obviously we know from HP that the ride to Hogwarts is where you make close friendship and stuff like that. He, however, has been left out. Heís an outsider before heís even arrived, and my heart bleeds for him, because I think pretty much everyone can relate to that feeling of being left out of something.

But still we hope things will get better once he arrives, but then you destroy that hope once again. Thereís moment, I believe itís when heís on his own in the dormitory, that I actually find myself thinking ďhow does he even survive it?Ē. It just feels like the whole world is against him, nothing goes his way. And it hits me how strong Barty really is, cause many people wouldíve broken down had they experience that what seemed to be their last hope for a better life, was a total letdown.

I feel like what you guys do in this story, is something that I personally feel strongly about. I believe that bad people have mostly themselves to blame for their own actions, but I also think we need to see that sometimes we - as a society - are partly to blame as well. There so many kids (and grown-ups) that are suffering every day, and we donít see them, we donít help them like we should do. And that makes them turn to bad actions. Maybe because people like that are easy to trick into making bad choices - give the promises of friendships, family or just happiness and theyíll do it, cause theyíve never had any of those things and really want it - or maybe because thatís the only escape they see.

I canít say I think Barty is a good person, but thatís not something youíre trying to do either. What I can say is that youíre story does something really important - it brings depth to a very minor character, and it makes us understand him and his actions a little bit better. I think it will change my view of Barty Crouch Jr. forever, really, cause Iíve never ever thought of him this way, but now itís like I canít un-see him like this. And you take up really important themes, and I just feel like this story is something that HPFF needs. Iím so happy you wrote it, and Iím so happy you two teamed up because youíre amazing when you write on your own, but just brilliant when you write together.

So thank you for participating in my challenge. Iím honored to have two amazing authors like yourself write for it, and Iím so glad you guys wrote this truly amazing and important story. You really teared me up, because I feel really strongly about these themes, and I hope you guys continue to write it, cause Iíd love to know - even though itíll probably break my heart - what happens next.

Thank you for sharing the story. Hope you have a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Lots of love


PS: The results should be up this weekend, so look out for a blog post from me :)

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Review #22, by LadyL8Taming the Dragon Tamer: [one]

11th November 2015:
Hi Anja.

So I've seen how hard you've worked with NaNo, and I'm a very proud mum. Yo'ure word count has gotten really high, and I figured it was about time you got something from me to futher motivate you to keep writing. I have five reviews like this one, and I'll post one every now and then when I feel like you've worked really hard :)

Okay, so I'm just going to copy and paste the review. The first paragraph will probably make you understand when I actually wrote this :P Anyway, here we go:

Hi Anja. So I read this story a while ago, but I never got around to reviewing it. And since Iíve literarily paid for it to get advertised (well, technically I paid for the site to stay on, but you get what I mean), I figured it was about time I finally did so. So here comes 6 reviews in a row, where I pretty much just tell you how much I love the story. Itís just warm fuzzy reviews really, and Iíll probably be rambling a lot. But you know all about that from Letters, so Iím not going to waste more time talking about it.

OMG. I am so much in love with story itís not even funny. At this point I think I might even like it more than Letters and thatís saying something cause you how much I love that story. Charlie has always been someone I can sympathise with. Iím the odd one in our family as well, not at all like the rest of my siblings or my parents. I donít even look like them, and everyone pretty much likes to remind me off that. So I totally feel like I can relate to Charlie, because he too is someone that does his own thing, and heís the ďodd oneĒ too, the one that is so different from everyone else in the family.

I love Christopher. We hardly saw him in the chapter, but I definitely feel I like I know him already. At least a little bit. You see, he reminds me of my middle school teacher, because he too sat in a wheelchair (he had an accident years ago, and havenít been able to use his legs ever since. And he met so much hate at my middle school, cause it was a very terrible (I wouldíve used a stronger word, but the reviews are suppose to be 12+) school. But he just took it calmly, and he was seriously the best teacher Iíve ever had. Really, really good teacher.

We donít see many stories on HPFF where a character is in a wheelchair, so Iím just so happy you have one. I actually had a project in high school, where I sat in a wheelchair for two weeks (every day, everywhere) and we filmed it, and the point was to show how hard it is to sit in a wheelchair. And basically say what we, as a society need to do to make things better for these people. And a scene that always makes me cry in the final project is when I took the bus while sitting in the wheelchair, cause pretty much everyone was staring at me the entire ride. And it was so uncomfortable, and I honestly felt like yelling at everyone. And it makes me so sad to think about what people that actually sits in wheelchairs must go through everyday. What Charlie says in the end is just the beginning of it. Thereís so much ignorance, prejudism and just downright bad behaviour from so many people. And I just hate that.

But this back to your story again. Anyway, I like that idea here. I can see Charlie being gay, and I like that he immediately likes Christopher. And I already like the Christopher, and I can see the two of them being together. And I canít wait for it to happen. So yeah, Iím so excited to read the next chapter of my favourite story by my favourite author. And I so hope this story will get lot of new readers through the advertisement, cause you really deserve it.

Oh, and did I mention I love the story? Cause I do. So much. Itís my favourite, you know. And it totally deserves to be given a dobby rec. cause youíre so good, Anja. Hope you a wonderful day.

Lots of Love From Your Biggest Fan


Author's Response: Lotte, I don't think I have thanked you enough times for giving me your advertising rights! You are the most amazing person ever, do you know that?
I'm so happy to hear that you like this. really, it means so much coming from you!

I'm sorry about your middle school experience. Mine wasn't all that great either, so I understand how that must have been for you. (I think most of us on this site had one thing or other happen to them in their childhood...)

Your project sounds so amazing! exhausting, and hard, and like it would be a lot of work. but really, really awesome. It must have been so uncomfortable to be stared at so much. I have only ever been in a wheelchair for a couple of days after an injury, so I hardly know anything about it, that made it a little harder to write chris but i daresay he worked out allright.

The advertisement has been running for a while now, and the story's reads have gone up, so thank you so, so much!

Thank you so much for your massive support and for everything you've been doing for me. You're the most amazing person ever.

♥ Anja

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Review #23, by LadyL8The Lark and the Nightingale: Epilogue Ė The opening night

30th October 2015:
Hi Chiara.

I'm here with your October review. Sorry it took me a while to get here. I completely forgot about it, but I'm so glad I finally got here, cause I've been wanting to read this story for so long. And I will have to get back here later, cause you deserve a review on every chapter. Cause you know I was really suppose to read the first chapter and review that one, but I got addicted to the story and couldn't stop reading until I reached the end. It's just a really good story, and it's gonna get a favourite from me.

What I love is that you use your own language in it (and your name :P). You have sentences in Italian and the story is sort of your own spin on Romeo and Juliet, a famous story set in Italy. I've been in Italy three times myself, never in Verona though, and I got reminded of my trips there when reading this story. It's just really amazing to see how you incorporated so much from your own country, but also made it feel like it belonged in the HP universe. I really believed it, believed that Chiara existed and that she was friends with the marauders and Lily and all the other characters from the era. She felt like she belonged there, and I really felt like I knew her as a character - that I could relate to her and her struggles. So good job on creating a good and realistic main character.

The story is very unique. I liked how you put a twist on the Romeo and Juliet story we know, and then also created your own version with HP characters we know. It's interesting to see them playing in Romeo and Juliet, but at the same time they're in their own version of the tale. The curse seemed so realistic, and it really reminded me of The Swan Princess, you know the princess that's cursed to be a swan every day and then turns back to a human every night, maybe cause I loved that movie when I was a kid. Oh, and I loved that even as a bird you can see Chiara's personality. There's just so much interesting stuff in this story, but what I have to say is that the plot is very unique. I've never seen anything quite like in on HPFF, and that made is so good to read. It was just completely new for me, and I loved it.

Thank you for sharing it with us. It's really a good story. I loved it a lot. 10/10 and good job, Chiara! :D

Lots of Love


Author's Response: Oh, wow, Lotte!
Thank you so much!

The fact that you read it all in one go makes me so happy and excited! I'm so, so glad you enjoyed the story, because it's one I'm very proud of and affectionate to!!! :)

So thank you, also for favouring!!! It really means a lot!!!

I did put a lot of myself in many parts and characters in this story! Chiara is actually quite different from me, she is much stronger and more volitive. But I thought it was cute to name her after me (also, I have a tiny, not so secret, crush on Remus...) The Italian bits were something I really enjoyed to insert (even if it scared me a little, especially in the prologue with Romeo and Juliet, where all the dialogue was Italian) But I'm so very happy that you enjoyed it!!! :)

Verona is a really cute city! I've been two or three times and, even if it's not as big and full of things to see like other Italian cities (Rome for instance) it's totally worth a visit (in case you'll happen to come back here...) I've never been to Norway, instead. One day...

I'm so happy Chiara felt realistic and that you could sympathize with her. And that you liked the parallels with Romeo and Juliet. And the curse too. I took inspiration more from Lady Hawk, actually. Especially in the way it was broken. But I think it has a lot in common with The Swan Princess as well!

Thank you so much again! Really! I'm so incredibly thrilled that you enjoyed the story so much!!! And I'm so happy we were paired, cause I really loved the incipit of your story as well!!!

All my love, hugs and kisses!

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Review #24, by LadyL8Children of Stardust: Children of Stardust

18th October 2015:
Hi Kat.

I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get here with your review. I got sick and then my dad came to visit me this weekend. But better late than never, right? I'm so excited to finally get to read this story. I rarely read Luna-stories, and this will be the first one I've read in years, I think. So I really look forward to see your take on her, and I'm sure it'll be amazing, cause every other story of yours I've read have just been so good. So my expectations are high, but you'll definitely not disappoint me.

Yeah, you didn't. This was good. I really liked this idea. Luna's always been a bit different; she has her own view of the world, so for me it was not strange that she wouldn't be sad or even find a reason to be sad at all. She's just a very optimistic and positive girl, and I admire her for her way of seeing life. And I think you captured it so well just through her thoughts on sadness and death. It was really good.

And I have to say this, cause it's just a really fun coincident. When I was younger, my mother used to say that when people died, they became stars in the nightsky. I was very young when my grandfather died, my little sister was even younger (I don't think she was even 3 years old at the time), and mother told us that we didn't need to be sad cause our grandfather would always look over us as the brighest star in the nightsky. And ever since then I've always said that to my little sister. And she still believes that when people die they become stars in the sky, and I just love that. It was something I could see Luna believe as well, and it's really a beautiful way of thinking.

Anyway, I just really loved the story. I enjoyed reading it, and it felt believable. It was just a really good read. Good job! And thanks for sharing!

Have a wonderful week!

Lots of Love

(I'll send you a PM soon)

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Review #25, by LadyL8A Sister's Love: Molly: Big Sister

18th October 2015:
Hi Freda (or Georgina if she's the one reading this)

I'm sorry it's taken so long to get here and leave your review. I got sick and then my dad visited me this weekend. But better late than never, right? I'm so excited to actually review this story. I'm sure I've read it before, but apparantely I didn't leave a review back then. So I guess it's about time I do, cause this story was just so cute.

I love that you wrote this as a gift to Georgina. I'm guessing you're the oldest one, and Georgina is younger. Knowing you two are sisters just makes this story even cuter and even more believable. It's was great to see the sisterly love between Molly and Lucy from the first moment they met. It was just really cute and I enjoyed reading it. It brough a smile to my face, and that's the point of short, sweet stories like this.

I'm actually an older sister myself (and younger). I was older when my sister was born, though. I think I was around 10 years old, and I still remember how exciting it was that night my mum went to the hospital. I don't think I slept at all, and I just really looked forward to getting a little sister. And as an older sister I could relate to so much in this story. I adore my sister, and I would pretty much anything to keep her safe. She's my best friend, even though she's a lot younger than me. And that feeling was so well-captured in this story, probably because you're sisters yourself and know what it feels like. It was so believable and it made me miss my three sisters a lot, especially the younger one. So this was really good. Well done! And thanks for sharing it.

I really enjoyed reading it.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Lots of Love

(I'll send you a PM soon)

Author's Response: Frankly, we forgot we were receiving one from you, so this is quite welcome! :)

This is Freda, and I am three years older than Georgina, although no one guesses that. :P (people always think I'm a couple years younger than I really am.) But anyways, Molly and Lucy are the same age gap too. Their personalities aren't supposed to match ours, but their love for each other does.

I don't remember a time before Georgina, nor when she was born/an infant, but I expect my reaction was similar. Parents confirmed I was a good big sister. I am definitely very close with Georgina, more so than our younger sister Ginny but I actually almost had a brother instead of Georgina (miscarriage shortly before she was born) and I couldn't imagine . . .

Glad you liked the story! Especially since it was written in pieces in secret. (It wasn't easy to hide it from her when we use the same computer!) now that I'm thinking of it, I think this is our third "meeting the new baby (sister)" story. The others are Dylan's chapter in Life in the Boot Family, and the prologue aka first chapter of Between the Cracks. Both from oldest sibling perspective. (Well I guess it's hard to tell from the youngest's view!)

Thanks for the review!


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