This was amazing. I can't even fathom writing a story without the letter E, or how long this must have taken you, but it is truly spectacular.
I love the Snape/Lily pairing and how Snape is still pining for Lily so many years later, although he seems to respect her son a bit more than what we see in the books. But then again, maybe he did secretly love Harry for being Lily's son, he just couldn't show it, especially after everything Harry found out about him and his feud with James.
I think it's been such a dilemma for Snape to have Harry in his life, it's clear he protects him for Lily but hates him because of James. And then on top of it, he knows he's the chosen one and he must die at the right time and so on. It's a lot to keep to oneself.
Anywho, this was a lovely, yet sad, story and you did such a wonderful job with it.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed this! Although (and it almost feels like cheating to say it) this story didn't take me very long at all -- about an hour, if I remember correctly. I got really sucked into the task! It felt like a puzzle, and I didn't stop until it was solved. ;)
Snape seems to be my go-to for writing one-shots, and especially ones where he's a bit melancholy. I love this ship, too, as long as it's unrequited. I'm not sure if he loved Harry, but he was very loyal to protecting him for Lily's sake, and I don't think anyone can dispute that.
I just can't imagine the son of the woman you love, looking like the man you despise... and knowing that your love married him. Poor Snape. ♥
Thank you so much for such a lovely and unexpected review! :3 I'm thrilled you enjoyed the story!! Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this. I thought your story was an excellent portrayal of what could have actually happened after that fated day where Severus loses Lily. I especially liked the comment about how it was probably best Remus didn't try to help Snape as he could have blurted out to everyone about him being a werewolf, and that REALLY would have been bad. Although, it surprised me that he just blurted it out to Lily like that, but at the same time it kinda makes sense that he'd want to clear the air after Lily unfriended Snape so that she at least knows the truth, not just about him, but about James as well. I liked the ending and how she considers going out with James, even if just to get back at Snape.
I thought this was very well written. I did not see a single mistake or issue. All in all this was a really good one-shot.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review! :)
I threw Remus into the mix, and then debated with myself over whether I should leave him in, so I'm glad that it makes sense even if it comes as a surprise. My thinking was that he would feel guilty for not doing anything at the lake ... I also think their situations were somewhat similar, though his could be kept secret. I think he would want to trust her, though.
I'm glad you like the ending, too ... that was another part I debated with myself about. :) Report Review
Well, this is definitely getting more interesting. So... she is Hermione, and there was a Drasina. And this "ministry guy" isn't a good one if he wants her unprotected. I'm very curious.
This is a really good story so far. Although I did notice some little things, like no punctuation where there should be. I don't know if you have a beta or not, but maybe you should think about getting one, just to look over it with a different set of eyes to catch the little things. Maybe just one to look over punctuation because,other than that, you have a really good plot going here and I wouldn't change anything of that. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hello again!
Thank you so much for the review. I have finally realized I'm in this for the long haul. I have rough drafted the next three chapters. I should be updating a bit more regularly now.
I am looking into a beta. Grammar has never been my strong suit. like ever :( The next chapter should be a bit more interesting. Happy Reading ~ Lady Report Review
I really like the idea of this story. I like how you include how women like to try and fix things, especially people. This person says they are what they are, and we can immediately take that as a challenge to make them better. But as shown here, it doesn't work. Instead Minerva ended up being manipulated, and not always for the best.
I enjoyed that Minerva saw Tom for what he really was and stood her ground with him. I do wonder whether he really meant what he said, about needing her. But maybe she was right to push him away. You say she gave him the final push that turned him into the monster he became, but it seems like he would have become it anyway whether she loved him or not, because he doesn't understand what love is.
I did notice some little things though. In the beginning, where I think you mean to say "pity and despair," you actually say "pit." And in the paragraph where you describe what Tom Riddle's become in italics, I think you should separate each statement with some sort of punctuation so it's easier to understand and follow. A little later on, you also say "as she spoked she dreamed of him." Spoke is the past tense of speak and doesn't need the d at the end. While this is a really good story, I think you might benefit by getting someone to beta it for you.
But other than those minor things, this was a really lovely story, and very thought-provoking. I think you did a wonderful job developing the plot and I even enjoyed the ending. I especially love the bit about how, while he was clearly the worst thing for her (driving her mad and all), that he made her better; stronger as a person and a witch. This was really good.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Hi! I'm here to complete our review swap!
Hmm. I have to say this is an interesting start. I'm sorry that I haven't returned sooner to continue this story. I really like the historical bits, this definitely reminded me a lot of the Tudors, especially with names such as Norfolk and Suffolk. It also reminds me of Cinderella, not the cartoon, the Rodgers & Hammerstein one with the mother pushing for her son to marry.
I thought the flow of story worked out nicely. Once I got past the first few paragraphs, I was able to read it quite easily. I really like your attention to detail with the jewels.
Although it did seem kind of weird that with all these workers preparing for a party, that Salazar just walked in and helped himself to some food. It seemed unusual that there wasn't a servant or house elf to greet him and offer him food if he wanted some.
I also thought that Venn gave in a little too quickly when Salazar told him of Helena. Since he was so opposed to marriage and didn't seem to care about any of the other beautiful girls in the kingdom, I thought he'd be a bit more annoyed at the mention of another girl, even if she is the fairest of them all. I don't feel like that would really change his opinion of what he wanted right now. I thought it would have made more sense if he had rolled his eyes and refused to meet her, and then maybe Salazar and Edeline would arrange some "chance" meeting between the two. But that's just me. I am curious to read on though.
All in all I thought this was really well written and I really noticed your attention to detail about that period in history, especially the formality of the characters and the way they speak to each other and bring up certain topics.
You'll probably be hearing from me again soon because I do plan to come back and read more of this. Thanks for the swap.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hey there, thank you again for the swap :)
It's great that you liked the names I chose and felt like the setting was era-appropriate. I'm also pleased that the flow here was good.
Well, Salazar is Edeline's brother, so he likely stops in for visits on a fairly regular basis. When my close friends and family members come by, they're welcome to grab something out of the fridge, and I sort of felt like he would be the same way in this household. If a true guest came in, I agree that he or she would likely expect to be served properly. The servants were also busy preparing for the feast. I can see how it might seem a little weird given the formality of the period, though.
If you read on, you'll see that Venn's impulsive tendencies are a big part of his personality. I tried to thread that through the plot so that his final actions in canon make sense in terms of his characterization. The way I see it, at this point in the story, Venn sees Helena as a means to an end--his father's crown. He also knows that his mother will drive him crazy if he refuses to meet her. So I saw it more as him being willing to see whether this girl really measures up to how she is described, and if not, he's still not really obligated to make a commitment to her. If she is, well, maybe she'll turn out to be useful. Do you see what I mean? I just don't know if it would be realistic for a young noble to flat-out refuse marriage during this era. I'm glad you're still curious to get to know Venn.
I really appreciate your lovely review!
-Amanda Report Review
I enjoyed this. I like how in the beginning you focus in on different characters, from each of the four houses, and gave a preview into their thoughts or conversations.
I also loved how Minerva took this as an oppurtunity to relieve the stress of the students and give them something to laugh about. I love how she allows them to call her Minnie, it'll definitely be something for most of them to look forward to when their done.
I especially liked the bit about Draco. He was so stressed out to prove himself, and her story probably meant the most to him, and showed him that the tests don't matter as a much as what he'll contribute to society.
All in all, I thought this was a lovely one-shot. You did a wonderful job.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
So much information! Wow! This was a lovely beginning. I was really intrigued by the whole alchemist bit and Roe and James trying to create a philosophers stone. It seems like such a serious measure to take so many people's souls, and I'm curious as to what sort of people your characters have become in order to proceed with such a hefty task. Like Roe says in the story, and like we know from canon, taking someone's soul is so much worse than death.
I'm really enjoying this thorough and super-detailed back story though about Roe and Hermione and Draco. I'm very curious to read more and I hope you update soon.
I don't know what else to really say except that you're amazing. Both your stories are clearly going somewhere awesome with their plot lines. And it's so different from anything else I've read lately. I love it. So please, keep writing.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hello!
Sorry I'm just getting around to answering reviews. :) I'm not going to lie this is a dark story. I don't want to give much away but I'm excited for all the wrong reasons. The best news is this story is 90% written and the first five chapters are being edited. I'm also back to writing so UE should have a new chapter by the end of the month. Report Review
Arg! I wanna know what happens next! This is getting really good. I hope you update soon.
Now. Moving on to an actual review. I really like how Drasina still has a lot of Hermione-esque habits and skills. Like she still loves books and learning, she still has a flare for extension charms, and she's always prepared.
I was very curious about the strange old woman in orange and I'm still wondering who the heck she was and if she had anything to do with the attack. And what was that floating paper? I'm completely lost. And I'm really curious as to how these people found out who she is, when she doesn't even know who she is, and apparently no one even recognizes her which I'm assuming means there's some magical disguise she's got that even she's not aware of. I don't know, but I'm dying to find out more.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Soon Soon! Chapter is being edited. I'm horrible at it so waiting on its return from a friend, but it will be posted asap. ~ Happy Reading
Lady Report Review
Well, I'm certainly intrigued... this is defnitely an enticing story you have here. Although, I am a little curious why no one's recognized her for five years. I also found it strange that she knows her N.E.W.T.S. scores when Hermione never took them... that we know of. I could say more but I really want to read on and find out more about Drasina.
So far this is very interesting and well written and I can't wait to read the next chapter, so I am going to go do that now.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: The N.E.W.T.S. Gets explained later. Its more about Sin's scores not Hermione's. And that will be confusing till later chapters. I'm sorry. Thank you so much, I cant wait to post more on it. Both of my stories now have me excited to write to share a bit of my imagination. I just need to get better at the grammar side of writing. Now off to write some more, as always Happy Reading ~ Lady. Report Review
Hmm... this is an interesting story. I had to read it, step back for a bit, and read it again, but it was definitely interesting, although I'm not quite sure what it has to do with the Mean Girls quote... unless it had to do with them being beautiful and her not, or she's a witch in a muggle cafe. I don't know. The meaning clearly just went over my head. But I liked it. I'm not the surest as to whether or not I'd like Audrey in person, but she doesn't seem too terrible. I did enjoy her comments about Rita Skeeter though, they made me laugh, because they're true.
I really enjoyed this little snippet into her life, sitting in cafes, writing, maybe doodling, watching mundane people doing mundane things. It's very different from other one-shots I've read. It was also very well written. I think you did a nice job with this.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Don't worry, I've been criticised a lot for the seemingly random Mean Girls quote, but I did actually put some thought into that. You're on the right lines, though.
Anyway - I'm very glad you like it, because this was a strange one to write... she's the first mostly-OC I've ever written. Thank you very much for your review. :) Report Review
This was an interesting snippet into the lives of Rose and Scorpius. I kind of liked not knowing the back story or what's gonna happen next. I like how you just focused in on one specific moment, a specific fight--the final break-up, and left it at that. It's very refreshing. I also liked how Rose finally took charge, instead of her walking away being futile again, she made a point of it and left him for good, no more second chances and so on. This was lovely, really. And very well written, I didn't notice any mistakes. I think you did a wonderful job with this.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Aww, this was so cute! I originally didn't think a Draco/Luna was possible but I'm slowly warming up to the idea. I think they'd definitely be an intriguing pair. Anyway, this was a really sweet one-shot. I love stories showing Draco's inner turmoil during his sixth year and I loved how Luna was able to distract him for a bit from his dark thoughts. This was a really good story and very well written. Great job!
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Hey hey hey! This is an interesting start to a story! It's certainly not everyday you read a story where the main character cusses out the professor. Very non-mainstream indeed, lol.
And by the way, I totally laughed out loud (for real) when I read Millie's full name. I'm curious as to what sort of parents she has for them to name her Mildred Skye Walker. I also assume that this evil Professor Clearwater is in fact Penelope Clearwater? But that could just be a coincidence. Although if it is, I'm curious as to what got into her. She seems very Snape-like, except for the fact that he never took points off his own house.
Anywho, this was a lovely chapter and I'll definitely be back to read more.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Haha, this was an awesome story. I'd read it before when JRose did the challenge, but for some reason I had thought it ended differently, maybe I'm confusing it with another story though.
Anyway, this is my last review for the Secret Santa. And this one-shot is both amazing and hilarious. I love a flirting Draco and Hermione. And I probably always will. Although Ron and Luna? That's one I could never imagine.
Anywho, I love the bickering/flirting between them, especially the 'haven't seen you in ages' when they had just seen each other that day. And I like how some of the Wizarding World were able to open up to Draco and Narcissa after the war, instead of persecuting them for their previous ways. I personally love a Draco who's given up his overly-pureblood ways but still keeping his arrogance and such. It really would be hilarious if they had done their threats to the each other, with the permanent sticking charm and the forehead charm.
And I loved this kissing scene. I think you write those things very well. Although hopefully they didn't go too far considering they're still in a Ministry hallway.
You're stories are all awesome! I would have reviewed more but out of the ones you wanted reviewed, these were the only one's I hadn't previously done. And I'm sorry again that these are a bit late, especially this last one. I know you're like way ahead of me in the time zone situation and I was too tired last night to finish them.
But I hope you had an awesome-packed holiday and that the 2013 is even more awesome and fun!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! People seldom pick this story, but its one of my favourites, so I am glad you chose this to review!
Amazing and hilarious? Haha you couldnt have described it better, thanks! I love a flirting Draco/hermione too. Ron & Luna have sort of always been my headcanon and I like to use them at whatever chance I get :P
I struggle a bit while writing bickerings so I am glad that you liked it. I like such a nice Draco too! And yeah, that would have been really hilarious :P
Lol, dont worry they didnt go too far, not in the Ministry hallway at least, hehe.
Thanks a ton for your lovely reviews. Dont worry about the time and stuff. I took my time responding to you after all! I had a great time reading your reviews and then responding to them. thank you!
This was an interesting one-shot. I like how you've transformed Narcissa into this time-worn, tired woman. She's got two men she cares about and both of them have sort of abandoned her; Lucius is in prison and attacked her, and her son moved to Paris.
I really liked the scene between Lucius and Narcissa though after she finds out he's dying, even though it was sad. I thought it was a really sweet gesture for him to ask her to come visit simply so he could apologize and tell her loved her. It was a bittersweet kind of ending.
This was a great one-shot and I really enjoyed it.
Again, I hope you had a wonderful holiday!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am so glad you were my Secret Santa :)
Its good to know that you liked this one-shot, and Narcissa. And yes that is very correct she is sort of abandoned, and I am glad I got that across :)
I worked hard on the Lucius/Narcissa dying scene so its nice to know you liked it. I love bittersweet endings so I am glad you liked it too!
Thanks again for the review! I shall respond to all your reviews soon! Report Review
Hmm. This was different. I liked it though. I like how even though what she really wanted was her husband to act like he used to again, that that didn't happen, and that she accepted it. Not that I'm saying it's the best life choice, but I like how even though she knows she won't be fully happy ever again, she has every intention of making the child's life the best it could possibly be. This one-shot definitely adds to what we already know about Narcissa, that her son is the most important thing in her life and that things are tense between Narcissa and Lucius (or at least I sort of always thought they were).
This was a very good story. I really like reading about Narcissa, I think she's an interesting character and there's a lot we don't know for sure about her.
I hope you had an super fun packed holiday!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Thank you so much once again for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you found this different yet liked it. Its true, it was definitely not the best life choice, but poor Narcissa, she felt so trapped, she does want the best for her child after all.
I wrote this along the lines of what we know of her in canon, and its nice to know that that point came across to you!
Thank you once again for your review! I am happy you liked reading this! Report Review
Surprise! I am your Slytherin Secret Santa!!!
I LOVED this story. I read it before but for some reason I never reviewed, but I guess that's a good thing because if I'd R/R everything of yours then I wouldn't have a clue what to do for your gift.
But, yes, this story is amazing. First off, I love how you've given Hermione something she can't find. I know she sometimes struggles remembering things she'd read for serious things, like Nicholas Flammel... but since homework always seemed so easy for her, I'm glad that she's been given something she can't find in a book. I enjoyed seeing a frustrated Hermione.
And I love how George just waltzes up to her and automatically expects her to find him what he's looking for instead of doing it himself. Although, George seemed very serious about hating liars and that bit seemed weird to me. I don't know why. I can't really think of a time when he or Fred blatantly lied, but it just seemed off.
Other than that, I really like your AU George who's into Hermione. I think he's like the perfect guy. He's sweet and caring, but also passionate and rough. I very much enjoyed the length juicy bits of this story. I thought it all had a really good flow to it. The writing of the scenes never became awkward or confusing. It was very easy to follow and the intensity of it had me glued to my seat til the end. It was perfect.
I would have enjoyed it though if, when George reminds her of her essay, she really did jump up to return to her homework. It would have been such a good laugh. Although I do love the bolder, and less homework-oriented Hermione she becomes in such a short period of time. It's very risque of her, which is a new side of Hermione we don't always see.
So yeah, all in all, I thought this was a wonderful one-shot!
Sorry these reviews are a little late. I hope you had a great Christmas and that you have a Happy New Year.
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Hey!! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Haha I am glad you liked this so much.
I like writing a frustrated Hermione, so its nice to know you enjoyed reading her!
Oh well, I had to add in something weird to make everything work, didn't I? I'll see if I can tone down George's dislike for liars a little bit when/if I edit it!
Haha I like my AU George too. What I wouldn't do to have him in my life xP I am always worried about the writing flow and such, especially when it comes to the "juicy" bits, so good to know that you think it was all okay! Your use of the word "perfect" just made my day :D
Haha it sure would have been a nice laugh, but oh well its AU Hermione, and for once she shouldnt think about homework xP
I am glad you liked this. Thanks a ton for all the wonderful reviews you left me! They made my holiday so much nicer :) Report Review
Huh. Well, I think I finally see what you're doing here... going backwards in time with your writing. It's definitely different but also intriguing and I'm curious to see how you'll continue it.
I liked how in the beginning you said "Everything was Black," as if you're not just referring to the darkness or bleakness of the story, but also to her maiden name Black. It made me smile a little.
I feel a little more understanding of where you're going with this story and Narcissa's reasons for killing Molly. I can see a little bit better why Narcissa would go after Molly, especially considering how much Bellatrix haunts her. I think this is really what's made her insane before she was even locked up. But I can't seem to understand what's caused it. Something still doesn't sit right with me. But maybe that's just me, maybe my perception of Narcissa is just different from yours. I do want to continue reading though so I hope you do continue to update.
I feel bad that all my comments couldn't be happy and fluffy, but your writing has definitely struck me into some serious thinking so that must count for something, right?
Anyways, again, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and that you enjoyed the reviews. You are an amazing writer.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
This was a different sort of chapter. It was well written, I may have only seen one or two minor mistakes. But I don't know how to feel about it.
I can't really see Narcissa killing Molly. I know Molly killed her sister, but it was to defend her own child, which is something I think Narcissa would understand as it is something I think she'd do as well if she could. Also, considering Harry and Ron did save Draco from dying in the Room of Requirement, she wouldn't go after one of her son's savoirs' mothers. It just doesn't make sense to me. I also don't see Narcissa as a killer, I think that what she did is more along the lines of what Bellatrix would have done if their roles had been switched. She just seems like a different Narcissa here, like she's already gone mad. But that's just my opinion.
Other than that, I do really like this story. And I was glad it was Percy who arrived first and found Narcissa, and how he knew something was wrong the moment he entered the house.
And I'm really just flabbergasted that Molly could be dead. I mean, she is the matriarch of the Weasley family, the glue that keeps them together, and I can't imagine someone as strong and amazing as her dying.
It's time to read on though.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Wow. This was a very powerful beginning. I started reading and it just sucked me in until the end. I really liked how you began this with the little snippet about death following her around and the short sentences made it sound so much more serious. The way you talk about Death also reminded me a lot of the story of the three brothers and Death from HP.
I also like how your Narcissa thought her husband weak after his escape from Azkaban. I think that's pretty accurate. Narcissa always seemed like the only thing she cared about was Draco and his safety and I think she probably started thinking Lucius was weak the second she found out he failed to deliver the prophecy and put her son in danger in the first place.
But I can also see how she likely wouldn't fare so well either being locked up in Azkaban. Especially because she's been taken away from her son and can no longer care for him.
Although I am curious as to what she did to be locked up, and what spell she used. Considering she lied for Harry, you'd think she wouldn't end up in Azkaban so she must have done something serious but I can't think of what sort of revenge she would be after. I hope to find out in the next chapters though.
I like how the guard wizards didn't pay any attention to her to notice she was sick and dying, I think that fell right into the criteria necessary for guards and the mentality they fall into being in charge of prisoners.
I'm really curious to see where this story leads. This was a really great intro. I think you've done a great job so far.
Again, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays if you don't actually celebrate Christmas.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
I thought this was a really intriguing beginning. I'm very curious about the first part of the chapter, I have a feeling I know who it is, but what I really want to know is why is he so angry. What is it that makes him hate muggles and muggle-borns so much? I think it would have to be something very serious for him to go on such a rampage as this. So, I hope that that is explained eventually...
The second part of the story was a little more confusing. I didn't really feel that much emotion coming from Rowena. You have her walking through the destruction calmly and unaffected as if she doesn't see all the destruction around her. I understand why she hides herself, because she'd clearly stand out and people would be begging her for help, but you say she hides herself with ignorance, and I didn't really get that bit, or at least, it sounds more like she's being ignorant of them for hiding herself. I don't know.
And the first sentence in her third paragraph confused me where she says "followed the trail of destruction for a couple of kilometres because setting up camp in a patch of woodland." I don't know if you just put in the wrong word or left something out (which I understand because I do that all the time) but the sentence just didn't make sense to me. And why did she build a structure anyway if she was going to keep walking throughout the night? And then in the last paragraph, when she apparates she lands "in a heap on the floor," which I don't think is something a well-practiced witch would do. I could understand it with a portkey or even floo or even if they were apparating for the first time, but with apparition it seems like they always land on their feet so that just struck me as weird.
But even though I'm still confused, even after reading this several times, I do like the writing style. I think it fits the era of the founders and other than that one sentence it was easy to read. And I do hope you continue the story so we can find out who's doorstep she showed up on and what's going to happen next.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
It's me again.
Well, this is an interesting beginning to a story. I'm really curious to know what it is Draco's asked Scorpius to lie about. I'm also a little curious for some back story. I always wonder if Scorpius and Albus really do become friends but it still confuses me since their fathers are so different from each other, not to mention they kind of hate each other. But yeah. I am interested in reading more though and hope you update more soon.
Grammatically, I can't find anything wrong with this story. You're writing is amazing. I just wish there were more in this chapter so that I had more to talk about so that this review could be a bit longer...
Again, I hope you have a happy Christmas!
-EnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Surprise! I'm your Secret Santa from HPPC!
First off, I just wanted to say that I LOVED this little one-shot. Some people don't like short, short stories because they don't last long enough, but in my opinion it really is a skill to be able to put so much into so little words. And you did it with so much grace. I love the way you've written this and the elegance you put into your descriptions and imagery.
I also really liked how you managed to get into the characters' minds even though, as you said, you weren't focusing on them as much as you were the action in the story. I picture these two women as complete, three dimensional women. The first thing that popped into my head when I started reading was that this sounds exactly like Bellatrix Lestrange and Alice Longbottom, and if you wanted them to be it would be believable. But it also works keeping them unidentified as well, because they really could be anyone.
I really liked your description of the female Death Eater's character and her craving for control. She knew actually what she was doing, exactly what would happen, and she was enjoying every second of it. When she's in control she's in her element. And I thought the description of her really brought depth to the story and it makes it more acceptable that she gives no reason for doing what she's done.
I also like the victim as well, but mainly I liked the imagery in her paragraph. My favorite sentence has to be "Happy memories flooded through her mind but left through a growing black hole, which sucked in anything that made her life her own." I love that, it truly is an amazing sentence. I like how she didn't just go insane without a second thought, she could feel it coming, and she could see her mind emptying and going black. It's a really poignant sentence, and a really thought-provoking description and it still blows my mind just thinking about what that's like.
And the ending was really amazing. I like how the Death Eater didn't just Avada Kedavra her. It was neat and different how she used some complicated spell, and fire, and the victim's own wand to kill her off.
This really was an amazing story and I really enjoyed reading it. I have to say I'm surprised I never read any of your stuff before, but I will be reading more after this!
-EnigmaticEyes16 (EE16 on HPPC) Report Review
Eek! Exciting-ness! At least she took it better than I thought she would. And I loved the part where she pushed him away and called him a liar because she had called him a warlock and she was so close to guessing right. Ugh! I love this story. And the whole chapter was hilarious, especially the bit in the loo and how James said he'd look like he got lucky, haha, it made me laugh.
I can't wait for your next chapter update! I hope it's soon! But I know better than anyone how long it can take to update a story, I'm terrible at it myself.
Anywhoo, good job on this. I did notice some mistakes... like I think somewhere you used despite when I think you meant desparate and there was something else, I think before that, but I can't remember. Other than that, you're writing is amazing and you're awesome and I'm going to end this rambling review here.
xxEnigmaticEyes16 Report Review
Oh my goodness! It's been ages since I read the last chapter but I already feel back into it. I love this story! And I'm so excited Spencer finally knows the truth! I'd say more but I really want to read on so I'll try to say more in my next review!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter; it was a fun one to write :) Report Review
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