Reading Reviews From Member: Trundlebug
  
54 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TrundlebugWeasley Spinster: Spinster For Life

12th August 2013:
This story needed some review love. I was about to post when I saw that Academica already had. Oh well, I'll write it anyway.

This is an interesting take on Victoire, and I gotta say that I can see a lot of fun in using her this way. My novel is going to include her and Teddy, so I may have steal some attitude from you.

It's well-written and the style is unique. My only problem with it is that it feels like the start of something bigger and you don't have anymore. What's good for you here is that you've got a good start if you want to pursue this, or if you just leave it alone the closing makes it stand up pretty well as a one-shot. I like it either way.

Grammer seems fine, but I'm not a hall monitor about those sort of things (I'd rather read a flawed and awesome story than a dull piece of perfection any day) and the characterization of Victoire is splendidly mean (I've a cousin just like her). It's interesting, it's fresh and it got the job done.

I really hope you decide to continue with it, or use this Victoire in a future story.

Good read

Ken

Author's Response: Google Chrome was acting up on me before so I'm writing this again.

I'm having a lot of fun writing her this way as well. And you may use as much attitude as you need for your Victoire.

I do plan to pursue this and though I don't have much planned for the next chapter, I'm positive that inspiration will strike at some point and I'll get something out.

I'm happy to hear that my grammar is fine, I often have trouble with it because I miss things so this is good news.

I am indeed going to continue this and I will most likely use this version of Victoire in future stories, she's too much fun to give up.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #2, by TrundlebugWhispers of the Night: Whispers of the Night

3rd August 2013:
I liked it.

I really enjoy any story that tries to add to the magical world of Hogwarts and what the students do there. Too often people get overly hung up on the books and forget to add to add their own flair.

The writing was good, well-paced, and there were only a few mistakes (most of mine have way more). I liked the characterization of Rose as I detected bits of both her parents in her and that's swell. Albus and the L twins were also written fine.

The ending was good and well-played. I truly didn't see it coming and its neat that you didn't go the other way with it.

Spoiler:

Too often we want our heroes to win at everything when that can really take a lot of the fun out of a story. There's a lot to be said for losing well.

It was an excellent read, and a fine way to spend ten minutes.

Reviewed for Blue

Ken

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had a ton of fun with this. I really did love to write Rose, and thought a lot about who her parents were when writing.

I'm glad you liked it, and I just had to use the twins. I mean, it was waiting for me to do it.

I'm glad you liked it, and happy you chose to review this one!



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Review #3, by TrundlebugWake Up: It's April Again

21st July 2013:
This is very good, and I like the raw and unfinished style. If it was intentional, it is a stroke of genius.

Anyone who has ever lost an important someone could echo this story's message, as it's so overwhelming. And you have some beautiful lines that better emphasize those sentiments "The world is so unkind, when there is no friendly face to heal you", "...and without the other half of his heart, it wasnít nearly so fun" That's powerful stuff and it makes it so real for the reader.

Thanks for sharing it, because it's a story that should be told, a scene that needs to be seen. It worked for me, but I love sad stories.

Regards

Ken

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for the lovely random review! It was such a nice surprise to wake up to :) I thought a lot about all the lines, and I tried to take it from the little experience of losing people I have, so I'm glad it made it real for the reader!

I'm so glad you enjoyed my story,
Charlie
xx


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Review #4, by TrundlebugEpitaths and Eulogies: The Soft Goodbye - The Half Blood Prince - Severus Snape

17th July 2013:
I love this because it's hard not to love the bravery of Severus Snape. I have often wondered how and if he was honored after the battle, and I think that your take is very fitting.

It is well-written, with only the most minor of bugs in it, and it reads very well (which is most important). Your OC is very interesting and if you haven't written anything with her yet, I hope you do, because I could read something like that.

All in all its a fine piece of good writing that does the job of entertaining the reader well. It is also inspiring because I really want to write some Snape fic now.

Thanks for sharing it

Ken

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. It started out as the ending to another story that I had written for a different fic but I knew I would never get around to writing it. So I reworked it into a stand alone chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I do have ideas for this OC but can't disclose them now. If any new stories arise to include her, I'll let you know.

Thanks again for reviewing!

~Celtic~


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Review #5, by TrundlebugResolution: Resolution

17th July 2013:
This was an excellent scene. I like anything that really how a character thinks and what they feel, and you have certainly accomplished that here. And you did it with a minor character and made it your own. Always good.

The writing is very well-done, and it reads fluidly. My only gripe was that it wasn't about 10 times longer than it is. I read it in around a minute and immediately wanted more, and that's always a sign that you did right by a piece.

Good job all around, and a solid 9 for sheer story-telling skill, but I'm keeping that last point because you teased us with such a short bit.

Very good work

Ken

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Review #6, by TrundlebugDon't tease me: 15

16th July 2013:
I think it's good and even the steamy parts have that important tenderness in them. I like the style of it and I think that it adds to the story's charm.

As for the characters, I really don't know because I don't read a lot of nextgen, but you wrote them well and I imagine them much as you have presented them. They are each distinct, and I feel that I know them a little better having read your story.

This story has such a teenager feel to it, and I like it. It really takes one back to those early days when love seemed so mystical and every moment was golden. I think the world is only really like that for teenagers, because the age of dreams is such a fleeting one. You made me feel that again for a moment, and I appreciate it.

Good first story. I am sure there is plenty more where that came from.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you!
I'm only 13 so I'm happy that it took you back. :)

I'll be writing more stuff, so keep an eye out for my fics!


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Review #7, by TrundlebugNightmares: Nightmares

16th July 2013:
This is great; I love lost moments and you even wrote about Cho who is so overlooked. It's always better with a claw in the story.

Your writing was great here and I enjoyed the broken style of it; it really added to the emotional nature of the story. The dream at the beginning was pure gold, with enough imagery to make it frightening and confusing like any good nightmare should.

It was very interesting to read and consider Cho's thoughts about Harry, Cedric and other things in the story. Since they were all written in Harry's POV, we really miss out on so much. All of JKR's characters were so well thought out that she could easily rewrite all the books a hundred times, from different perspectives, and we would enjoy every word of it. You have demonstrated that here, and that is awesome.

I really enjoyed your little one-shot, and I feel like I understand Cho a little better having read it. Thank you for writing it; it was a real pleasure to read.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing this! I'm glad you liked this. And yes, it is always better with a claw in the story. I myself am very pleased with the dream as well. I was always interested in Cho's thoughts on Harry and Cedric as well, so I decided to write about it! And I completely agree, JKR could most definitely rewrite the books in every single character's POV.

Again, I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

Thanks!

-Janelle


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Review #8, by TrundlebugWhat It Is To Love: What It Is To Love

16th July 2013:
Ah the Weasleys, they are just the best, aren't they?

We are both in this challenge and we both drew Weasleys. Isn't that so fitting that for a family-themed challenge we are both writing about THE wizarding family. It just makes sense.

Your story is great and Molly is such a wonderful character to write. I have personally never written from her perspective, but I hope that if I did I would capture her as well as you have. A lot of writers might find mothers to be somewhat unflashy or uninteresting because they are largely defined by their children, but that isn't so and you and I both know that. Molly isn't defined by her children, as you so aptly show here; she is defined by love and a caring streak longer that would put the care bears to shame. You've got it there, and you did it justice.

I love her thoughts about her family (Arther, the twins, the older brothers and Ron) because her thoughts of them mirror what we all know about them, but they do it from a point of view that lets us see them a little differently.

A very nice story and a good glimpse into one of JKR's best.

Author's Response: Hi there!

The Weasleys are an absolute joy to write about. I'm glad to hear that I did some justice to Molly Weasley's character. She truly is the kind of mother everyone can fall in love with. It was so lovely to hear your thoughts about this one-shot. Thank you for stopping by to not only read this but review it as well!

All the best,
Kristen


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Review #9, by TrundlebugTravelin' Soldier: Travelin' Soldier

14th July 2013:
Here for House Cup 2013

This is a fine songfic. You have really managed to make everything fit well with the mood and subject of the song and I found it much easier to read than other songfic I have sampled. Mrs. Figg! What a wonderful subject for your story and it all fits pretty well. I would imagine she was done with magic after Jeremy died and had accepted a Squib's life as a better future.

It is well-written and wonderfully evocative. I enjoyed your characterizations and style very much.

Very nice job

Ken

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Review #10, by TrundlebugThe Slytherin Challenge: The Slytherin Challenge

14th July 2013:
An excellent premise and I loved reading it. This review is for the House Cup 2013

I like anything that adds to the HP world, and you presented a fine addition. The idea of Slytherins having a secret graduation ceremony is very fitting, and I love how grisly it was. You described it well and I like how the challenge presented itself differently to each of them. I also agreed that any Slytherin ceremony can only end with a single victor.

Excellent work and fine read.

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Review #11, by TrundlebugCaradoc Dearborn and the Grand Adventure: A Bright Future

13th July 2013:
This was a very good bit of writing, and I liked that you kind of presented it as a travel guide for the magical world. You kept it very short but still managed a large selection of places and details that made it interesting.

I don't know anything about your character, but I didn't really need to for the story. I actually think it works well with an unknown, and that it even helps it achieve its goal.

A good read, and perhaps an interesting first chapter?

Ken

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I had fun writing this story, imagining what sights could be seen and what could be done there. I find myself planning vacations I never actually take because I have more fun planning them out! :)

I will definitely think about continuing the story though I may need to finish a few other stories first. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by TrundlebugPotter's North to Alaska: Potters North to Alaska

13th July 2013:
I liked this story. You really wrote it in an interesting and quite unusual way. Teddy was funny and I enjoyed your characterizations of the others.

The real gem is how you've actually made it easy to visualize this trip and made it seem real with all of the facts you worked into the piece. It's a real interesting story, and the thought of a carload of zany wizards on the Parks Highway makes me laugh.

An "A" for a fine effort.

Ken

Author's Response: Thanks A whole bunch!

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Review #13, by TrundlebugHermione Weasley's European Adventure: A Family Vacation

13th July 2013:
This was a very fun travel story, and I really liked seeing Hermione and Ron as parents. It's well-written and I only saw a few minor typos and glitches here and there.

All of your characterizations are written very well. Ron and Hermione seem spot on--to me at least--and I like what you have done with Rose and Scorpious, who I don't know very much about. They are all interesting and quite distinct.

I enjoyed watching pure-blood Scorpious freak out over all the muggle stuff, and found it interesting to consider that Ron, who is also pure-blood, felt much the same. I could certainly see them having a good relationship, as father and son-in-law, and their camaraderie made the story fun.

You threw me off there a bit when it witched over to Ginny, but I quickly understood what you were doing and it works well. The letter was great and I liked that you threw in the little educational points that Hermione would certainly sneak into any correspondence.

A fantastic read

Ken

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! :) The bit about Ginny was something that just happened in the spur of the moment, when I realized 5000 words or less isn't going to cut it! I'm happy you enjoyed it!

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Review #14, by TrundlebugNo Turning Back: No Turning Back

13th July 2013:
Regulus is so interesting; he is the Black brother we don't really know. This was a good travel story. You have taken what would likely be one of the most important trips of this young man's life and described his thoughts and feelings very well. I like the progression of it, as he makes ready and eventually leaves, and that his thoughts are his constant company. I particularly liked that you showed that he was not wholly evil or as loyal to Voldemort as he thinks he is. This is important, because we certainly learn a thing or two about his loyalties later on.

He didn't hate his brother, but he acted in accordance to what was expected of him. And you even had him say thank you to the house elf, demonstrating a bond between them.

Overall its a good story. It has its little flaws and hiccups like any rough work, but the most important detail is there: it's enjoyable to read.

I certainly enjoyed it

Ken

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review!
Courtney:)


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Review #15, by TrundlebugAn unexpected journey: An unexpected journey

13th July 2013:
I love it, a whole story about a minor mention. Charlie is interesting and I wish you had had more time to devote to him; he is such an undeveloped character. Many of his thoughts made me smile, and I can imagine the nervousness that particular test could cause for a young wizard.

Excellent entry and a good read.

Ken

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Review #16, by TrundlebugFinal Call: Final Call

13th July 2013:
I love the picture you have painted here. Petunia is such an understated character and I always kind of wished that JKR had more time to devote to her.

It was also very interesting the way you wrote her thoughts about Harry and Lily. I never bought the idea that the Dursleys were always terrible to Harry; there had to be good moments, even if they were fleeting. And Petunia, in particular, I always felt would have at least mild misgivings about the way they treated him.

The writing was superb, and the subject matter was well-invoked. I love stories that are all about someone's private thoughts, like little glimpses into the real people of the stories we all love. You told it nicely, and I really felt a lot of sympathy for this minor character and the very real, if not simple, ordeals she must have faced. We don't all have a Dark Lord to beat, but life is still hard all around.

Good Story

Ken

Author's Response: I know.but Ms. Rowling had so much else to do! I thought I'd give Petunia a voice and see what came of it. Yeah, I always felt that she'd have to feel SOMETHING for Harry. I don't particularly get along with my sister, but I could never do that to her kid...just never. So, I figured it was something deeper. Yeah, I love the private thoughts thing too. I wanted to explore what was really going on there. Wow, what an amazing way to phrase it; the whole "Dark Lord" line. It's true. Sometimes it takes courage just to get up and face another day of your own life.

Thanks!


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Review #17, by Trundlebugsoul of the city: soul of the city.

10th July 2013:
This thing is beautiful and you are such an artist. I wish I could sneak an eleven into the rating box, because it feels like one to me.

The journey is so well thought out and the progression of it is wondrous. You described all those scenes so well in the brief space you had, and his response to each was quite human and more introspective than I thought appropriate for Ron, but of course I learned why at the end, didn't I.

You had me near tears there at the end, because the scenario is such a personal one and it echoes thoughts from my own mind. I did chuckle once in the midst of that somber moment though, when you very accurately described his wife as being "wonderfully organized". Well put there, and well-written throughout.

I am definitely your fan.

Ken

Author's Response: Wow Ken. Really just wow. You are way to kind and thank you for this. I love having feedback from a fellow writer and I know that you mean it more just because I've read one of your stories and know that you're someone who knows what he's talking about.

I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU GOT THE "WONDERFULLY ORGANIZED" throwaway line! I just had to slip it in there because I totally think that it's one of the memorable things about Hermione that Ron would think of. I mean, come on, she ran his life as kids and must've continued that through their marriage. :)

Thanks again!

Char


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Review #18, by TrundlebugAn Adventure of His Own: A Warm Welcome

9th July 2013:
This was a wonderful little story. I really always like Mr Filch, and felt a little pity for his sad tale. You write his younger self well, and it is interesting to consider that he may have once been this way, a bit more hopeful. That's the real beauty of this tale, to me at least, imagining all the little things that slowly chipped away at that awestruck young man to make him the bitter loner he eventually becomes.

It was also really interesting that you wrote about the librarian, because she is a largely overlooked character who is ripe for further examination. I enjoyed the way you presented her, and found it quite fitting. Most librarians don't seem to like the people that they lend books to; it's only natural.

Your writing was superb, with excellent descriptions, compelling dialogue and intriguing characterizations. I enjoyed the read and never had to labor over it. I think that those two things are the most important attributes for any story.

Good job

Ken

Author's Response: Filch is very interesting, or so I think, and yet people tend to steer away from him in fanfic. It's great to hear that you could appreciate a more optimistic version of him existing under the layers of year after year of building resentment. I would think it hard for anyone not to be blown away upon first walking into the Great Hall and really seeing Hogwarts.

I tend to write a love story into most things even if it's not the main focus of the plot, and it was fun to play up the budding friendship between Filch and Pince in this story. I agree that they're one of the canon-ish ships that could merit further exploration in fanfic.

Thank you for your wonderful review!

-Amanda


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Review #19, by TrundlebugThe Society: No Turning Back

8th July 2013:
This is an excellent first chapter and I will definitely be reading the rest of this interesting story. I love that it's OC, a personal favorite of mine. And you have the mystery and intrigue that I also crave.

Your writing is crisp and well-presented, and I am very jealous of what you have accomplished here. You have a gift for clean and neat descriptions that are not near as cluttery as my own. Everything blends in well, creating a nice vehicle for the story you are telling me.

Criticisms.well they are hard here, but most people want some. I guess it's a bit short, but not overly so. Really that's a minor thing because you present a lot of information into that tight space. Really I have nothing negative to say about it, except that I am only just discovering your little tale.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! :D

I will tell you a small truth: When I wrote this chapter, it was simply because I really wanted to put SOMETHING up on the archives for the first time. I pounded it out with no planned direction, and then I read it over and thought, "Eh, I might as well submit it." In my head, it has become a massive story, with twists and turns in every direction. On the computer, however, it is just two measly chapters and a whole lot of planning. I'm so glad that the first chapter made you want to read more, and I hope that I can write the third chapter... One of these days. :)

Clean and neat descriptions?! Thank you! I always feel like I don't put enough description in my writing, but in this chapter, I really wanted to establish an air of mystery. Even now, this story is so mysterious that I don't know where it's going to end up! :P

It is a VERY short chapter, but I'm hoping to make up for that with much longer chapters in the future (if I get any written, that is!). I've tried to go back and add a few meaningful descriptions, but nothing really seems to fit without breaking up the flow of the words. :)

Oh, don't worry about only just discovering this story. I'm kind of an underground writer at this point--I haven't really been heard of much, and that's okay. What I really love is when people leave me such marvelous comments and compliments as you have done.


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Review #20, by TrundlebugOn The Radio: 1

6th July 2013:
That feels like a big setup at the beginning; I can't wait to see where you are going with it. Any story that starts with a newscast and a mention of the Dark Lord is bound to lead to interesting places.

I liked Rose and Louis and particularly his description of her as not being a "kind person". That was cleverly written, and overall everything else is too.

Very good start. I have that touch of confused interest that should come with first chapters. I will be reading the rest f it quite soon

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Grace is a great protagonist to write, so I hope the story will go in exciting an exciting direction. I loved writing about Rose, and her and Grace's friendship is really interesting to write, especially as Grace has some very specific opinions about her.
Again, thank you so much for the review, and I hope you'll like the future chapters!


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Review #21, by TrundlebugBowled Over: Cho Chang: The Master Blaster

4th July 2013:
I thought it was great.

We just don't get enough Cho, or any Ravenclaw really. I particularly enjoyed her thoughts on accessorizing a cricket uniform.

It was well-written and held my attention perfectly (this from someone who knows nothing of cricket). The characters were distinct and their dialogue seemed real enough for me.

All in all, this is a fun and witty read, and I think you should definitely pursue more of such light-hearted tales in the future.

Author's Response: Ravenclaws are so underrated in the books (apart from Luna), so this is something of a tribute to my house and all its amazing people. The arrival of the House Cup shortly after was a pleasant coincidence. ;)

Thank you for all the encouragement as this is my first parody. I guess my sense of humor isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Thanks!


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Review #22, by TrundlebugShattered Infinity: Marked for Destruction

4th July 2013:
I like it, you conveyed a lot of emotion in such a short space, like concentrated anguish. The two quoted words are each powerful in their own rights, representing the worst and best of him to great effect. I absolutely enjoyed it; Snape really is the most tragic of the HP characters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! :)

Snape is a highly tragic character, and I hoped to convey that through 500 little words. It's great to hear that I managed to squeeze a lot of emotion out of the words I chose. :)

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #23, by TrundlebugFilch's Pet Peeve: In Which A Plan Is Introduced

4th July 2013:
I love this, it's got everything going for it.

Excellent characterizations and I really enjoyed the personality you invested in your OC. The snippets of humor made the thing fly by and kept it interesting, though you didn't really need them to; the story is quite engaging.

I really felt like I was at Hogwarts again, and that is hard to get right. Excellent work, 10 for 10

Ken

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry for not replying sooner, I was in a plane for two nights. :-/

I'm so happy you like Jaz, I think of her as a crazier version of me, complete with laziness. ;P

Thanks, I did want the story to be canon and I hoped the Hogwarts aspect was okay.

Baww, you're making me blush, thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, Ken!


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Review #24, by TrundlebugHeroes Often Fail: Chapter One

14th June 2011:
This is really good! I loved your characterizations, dialogue, theme, and the whole concept. It would be too easy to pretend that everyone got friendly-like after the war, but as you've written, people don't change their stripes. These are some good characters you've chosen to write about and I look forward to reading more of this.

Author's Response: It's been a really long time since I worked on this story, but I'm excited to pick it back up again. Thank you for reviewing and I'm so glad you liked it :)

--Malvado


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Review #25, by TrundlebugIngram Malfoy Goes to Ozwarts: Of Tornadoes, Munchkins, and Musical Numbers

2nd June 2011:
SOlid 10 just for the bit of Oz alone. This was very funny and I enjoyed it greatly. I like the quick, break-neck style of it all, it makes it quite an exhilarating read. I'll read the rest soon, and can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: :D so glad to hear it! (others have been put off by the quick style so yay!) Also it's awesome to find another Oz lover! Thank you kindly, on behalf of both myself and sanitariumescapee!
~mads


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