This is really good! I loved your characterizations, dialogue, theme, and the whole concept. It would be too easy to pretend that everyone got friendly-like after the war, but as you've written, people don't change their stripes. These are some good characters you've chosen to write about and I look forward to reading more of this.Author's Response: It's been a really long time since I worked on this story, but I'm excited to pick it back up again. Thank you for reviewing and I'm so glad you liked it :)
--Malvado Report Review
SOlid 10 just for the bit of Oz alone. This was very funny and I enjoyed it greatly. I like the quick, break-neck style of it all, it makes it quite an exhilarating read. I'll read the rest soon, and can't wait to see what happens.Author's Response: :D so glad to hear it! (others have been put off by the quick style so yay!) Also it's awesome to find another Oz lover! Thank you kindly, on behalf of both myself and sanitariumescapee!
~mads Report Review
I think the title of this one sums up Dumbledore completely. He was a great man, but a lot about him was either a lie or an unuttered secret.
There is a lot of power in this scene, and I can see him, sitting at her grave, very clearly as he hates himself a little extra on this particular day. Anyone who has ever failed someone can imagine it, at least a little, and I think being human requires a bit of failing before all is through.
I loved the final bit, as he and Aberforth walk past one-another. There is a lot said by those two silent men in that brief moment.
Excellent and exceptional as always.Author's Response: You know, I was certain I wanted to title his chapter "Lied" but I couldn't think of a single time that he just right out lied in the series! Until the socks, of course. :) He was a very secretive man.
The last bit is probably my favorite. So short, but so incredibly powerful.
Thank you for this lovely review!
Dem Report Review
Beautifully written; a nice, honest look at Harry the father.
The whole scene is fun for me because I have experienced the same thing first-hand. But you depart from that in a way that ties it with Harry by having him remember his surrender and the parallel he draws from it.
This is a great scene, and an apt one for this collection.Author's Response: Thank you!
I really enjoyed the parallels between this scene and when he gave his life before. Just the fact that he would do it again speaks strongly to me.
I am so glad you enjoyed it. :)
Dem Report Review
I love me some Fred & George...never fails to make the day a bit better. And that's double true when it's written so well.
This is an important scene for any of us F/G fans. The loss of half that duo was hard to read (and I imagine pretty hard to write too). I have often considered the underplayed impact on George after such a soul-splitting tragedy. I think that your scene does it right and really captures the essence of their dynamic and the aftermath of Fred's departure.
Oh and the first word, Gotcha!, I don't know if you came up with it yourself, but it's brilliant. I think it sums them up just right.Author's Response: Fred and George really can cure a bad day, can't they? Though this story is a bit more depressing.
It was so difficult to write and I'm glad that you think I've captured it well. I was just hoping to do it justice!
And yes, I did come up with the "Gotcha" bit, myself. I thought it fit just right with them, no?
Thank you for this wonderful review!
Dem Report Review
This is a powerful piece and I am very fond of the the ballroom and the dance of mourning and holding on. Their words are very real between them and I think Molly is as she should be. Particularly her decision to let go and go on. She is a very brave woman who is capable of making the hardest of decisions and facing the consequences.Author's Response: Thank you. This story was a lot of fun to write, and I'm glad you thought so. It means the world to me that you did. Report Review
Harry's Saving People Thing rides again.
This is very good, I like how you depicted the emotions of each of them in these scenes. Your characterizations are excellent and truly fitting and it accomplishes the goal of taking me back to the emotional rollercoaster that was the Battle of Hogwarts.
I was particularly impressed with Voldemort's part. This would be a man who sees real fear as weakness and would have to make excuses to himself for how he felt. Oh he'd rationalize it, of course, but he'd fail utterly to recognize what he truly felt. Hermione and Ron are also very well written, almost as though they've sprung from the pages of the book. Its great that neither of them knows how to approach the other, the problem that plagued them for so long couldn't be cured by one kiss.
Harry. Probably the hardest one to write because its all been said. He's depicted well though, and actually covers a bit of new ground. I always figured that his surrender had to bug him in the hardest way. He's just not a quitter.
Overall very good story and an enjoyable read.Author's Response: Harry has always been... not annoying, because I really do love him. How can someone call themselves a HP fan and not love him? But let's face it, sometimes Harry is a moron, and I had a hard time writing this because it was difficult for me to go through the rationalization behind his actions. I'm glad to hear that it came out in a fresh way, compared to the original!
Should I admit that Voldemort's part was the easiest for me to write? It really was. His arrogance and everything, it creates such a perfect picture of him and why he never succeeded.
Ron and Hermione. They are so often portrayed as very flat characters, but we know, from the books, that there is so much more going on there. I'm so flattered that they seem to match canon so well. I always shy away from characters like these because of all that we already know about them
I'm so glad you enjoyed this and thank you for your kind review!
Annie Report Review
Very good glimpse here, and you can definitely build on it.
Its written well and the characterizations are very nice. I love the emotion that you evoke here and the reality it conveys. I think it's very easy to see that things aren't going to be very easy for her.
Ewww...oh my at all the verys. One should never write while one drinks. We all aren't Hemingway or Poe.Author's Response: Thank you so much. (: I'm so glad you think so!
Apparently, I have the same problem with so... Whoops.
-Jasmine Report Review
Good chapter. You needed to keep at Tom's purpose, because he wouldn't be the sort to dawdle on it. As far as it being too early, it never really is. Just because he knows about it doesn't mean he can access it easily. And even if he can, there's bound to be greater difficulties down there than were mentioned in Book 2. I am sure that Salazar Slytherin would have safeguards in place, just in case.
Tom is his usual, scheming self, brought to life well under your hand. I really like Amaya too, and think that there is a lot left beneath her surface, more than you've so far doled out anyway. I look forward to learning more about her, and am particularly intrigued by her lack of certainty where Tom Riddle is concerned. She's a very fleshy character and I think the juxtaposition of her crush/obsession and Tom's search/obsession could make for a very interesting story.
At any rate, I look forward to reading more, and I give you a 10 for the bravery to play your cards so early. I myself hold far too much back and string people along a bit too much (Dumbledore's curse, I'm afraid). But you do well to come out with that tidbit. Knowing a goal doesn't make acquiring it any easier. Good story, I'll stay tuned!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yeah, I have a couple chapters planned for Tom before he ever gets in, so I see what you're saying with that. I never actually thought about extra safegaurds, so I'm glad I got this review now! I'll definitely add that in! Thanks again! Report Review
A good read and a nice warning to all potential babysitters out there!
I liked it a lot actually, and particularly enjoyed your use of the new generation "all grown up". Characterizations were good and I thought it particularly fitting that James would have a TV (harry'd likely stretch such muggle fun). Its always nice to get a good look at everyday wizarding life. Not everything can be about saving the wizarding world from dark wizards.
This is definitely an untapped generation, and I think your story has incited the plot-bunnies in my own head.Author's Response: Awww Thank you!! Yayayay, I am glad that I gave you some plot bunnies lol. Yes, this would be classed as the next- NEXT generation I guess lol. Yeah I think that Harry would have incorported some muggle itme sinto their lives =). I am soo glad that you liked it and thanks for the review!! Report Review
I am loving this story. I've actually read all of it but plan to go back and review every chapter...
Just when I thought two incredibly well-written characters were awesome.you add another one. This is my second nextgen story I've read and its mostly because I have worries that it'll be a bunch of clone characters or too many campy HP jokes. You might throw in the old references, but this is no Attack of the Clones. Everyone is an individual, and they've all a niche. Very nice
Descriptions are well-thought and the pacing is extraordinary. It's like a cinema of words and I'm glad I bought a ticket.
Very Great Story.Author's Response: Hey again! :D
Aww this review made me so happy! I don't really read much fic, so I get a lot more of my influences from outside stories (and tv and movies and such) rather than within the HP fandom. Like, my main influences for Scorpius is Oceans 11 and Flynn Rider from Tangled, for Fred is Arthur from Inception, for Bea are spunky K-drama heroines, and so on :D
Much much thanks ^__^ ! Report Review
This is a boatload of fun. I can't wait to delve deeper into the story here.
Your characters are a blast and perfectly individual. Your writing is flashy without pretentiousness (no mean feat there). Splendid story and a very easy 10.Author's Response: Thanks! :) I really love fics that focus on an ensemble of characters :D Report Review
If that's filler I'll take chapters of it. Good follow-up and nice delivery. Your characters are becoming even better pronounced and the dialogue is superb. I really liked Tom's trip down memory lane.
Also excellent was the first few sips of ire you see between the Slytherins. There is no doubt that backstabbery could ensue at any time.
All's as it should be in this well-written, enjoyable chapter.Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the lovely review and all the compliments! I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Great scene! As always, Ron screws everything up a bit, but its easy to forgive us slow-minded boys I guess.
Characters were written well and the dialogue flowed easily. You have a good writing style and the words flow pretty quickly making your work an enjoyable read.
Good job on the "what might've been".Author's Response: Thank you! That really means a lot to me, especially since I absolutely love Ron and Hermione and kind of consider them my specialty.
And it couldn't have been a story about Ron without him screwing up somehow. :D Report Review
I am very much in love with this story. The juxtaposition is wonderfully done, and the ending is most excellent. You have a great writing style and shift gears very well.
I love those short, stubbly sentences in the present, so much like the notions of a very young child (or my 78 year-old grandfather, god love him). And the past is also splendidly written with great emotional quality and a good attention to the details that matter.
You had a good idea here, and you didn't let it down.
"I wished I could slip into his dream and scatter love like birdseed" Don't we all...
Oh...10 for pure win :)Author's Response: Thank you so so much! :) JUXTAPOSITION'S SUCH A BIG WORD *flails*
I'm so glad that that's what you took out of it--the thoughts of someone somewhat innocent and naive (or your 78 year-old grandfather.) A lot of people have told me this story's really dark, which it is, but I did try to add some light to it with the simplicity and innocence of her thoughts. I am SO glad you noticed this!!!
Thank you so much for all the good-ish-ness of your review :)
Win. Report Review
The imagery is wonderful, dark but wonderful. I love the setting and the rare glimpse into its conditions. This is a cool little one-shot that really makes the mind wonder. (I love stories that refuse to explain themselves, they make me tingly and over-analytical)
Very nicely done, and I hope the poor woman finds some peace at some point, but as this is a one-shot we can only wonder.Author's Response: Thank you! I really tried to enhance the imagery in this story so that it was the almost the main focus.
It made you wonder? Yaayyy! :)
I don't know if she ever finds some peace. Maybe I can make up a happy ending for her. I'll do it now... SHE GOES TO THE AFTERLIFE AND MEETS HARRY POTTER THE END.
I like it. I think I should add it in there.
Thanks so much for the review! :) Report Review
Very nice and a good surprising change on the whole POV thing. I loved that twist! Gred and Forge are very alive in this story and incredibly fun to read.
I enjoyed it immensely.Author's Response: Thanks! I enjoyed writing it as well :) Report Review
"...as the veil shifted and covered the world he knew"
That's a beautiful last line there. This whole story is good, but the last section is great. There is a nice bit of closure to it that makes his fall through the veil a little less sad--you realize that there is nothing plaguing him that he has to endure anymore. I particularly like that his view on death was more like the third brother from the bard's tale;that is good for poor Sirius, who endured much in his hard life.
As always your writing is as superb as your voice is unique. I knew when I clicked on this story that I was going to be taken inside the hidden reality of someone else's private mind and that it would be a good trip, like a vacation from self.
Good story and nice premise.Author's Response: I wanted that closure so bad that when I was given a chance to write about Sirius in the challenge I took up, there was no way I wasn't going to include it.
I agreed with the 3rd brother's philosophy on death (as it was the only sane one) so took that one.
I'm happy to serve as a portal to another world!
:) Report Review
I love the style here, and the feelings it evokes. The narrator is looking back at his life without complaint or excuses, which only a resigned person can do.
You don't give the name until the end, and bravo for that. It is unimportant really, as only the story being told really matters.
For such short work, there is a lot of substance here. To me it evokes feelings of unapologetic remorse, a man who knows the wrong he has done but has no need for the forgiveness or condemnation of others. You captured that well and made it enjoyable for me.
Thanks.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! :) I'm glad you liked it. And yes, I felt as though Goyle's story itself was more important than knowing his name... if that makes sense. (: The name Goyle automatically provides a negative connotation for a lot of people, so I was hoping to combat that! :) Report Review
Good stuff from you, as always.
Harry's the same old Harry, just a little more mature (I think most of us guys never grow up completely). Little James is so much like Harry, with a healthy dose of Fred & George, of course. Very likable story about the passing down of a family artifact--bit better than a pocketwatch too!
I only so one error in the writing that I thought I'd tell you about (I like people to tell me). Its in the last sentence of the
first paragraph in italics, the verb is mis-conjugated. Barely worth mentioning.
I liked it a lot, and enjoy all of your fanfiction that I have so far read. Keep on entertaining us!Author's Response: Thanks Trundlebug! :)
I had trouble writing adult Harry, but I loved writing James. I see him as a loud kid but with a lot of Fred, George & Ginny in him. :)
Thanks for mentioning that. I always want people to tell me about my mistakes too, so I'm really glad you did.
I'll definitely be writing more when exams are over. Keep reading! ;)
-Sophia x Report Review
That's an excellent bit of Tom Riddle there, I liked the closet sociopath hidden inside the politician persona we all know and love. Very enjoyable to read.
Amaya is a good OC, with plenty of good qualities to go with her obvious Slytherin traits. The story makes me wonder whether she will get what she wants. But I think that if she does, she might find out that wants are sometimes dangerous after you finally acquire them.
You've a good voice and a way of making your characters engaging. You wrote this as a story you want people to read, and that's always attractive. To me, at least.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I;m glad you like the characters and story! Report Review
A for dummies book! This was one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Your characters are spot-on and the situations are golden.
It might be fluff, but its of the good sort. Easy 10 IMHOAuthor's Response: Thanks lady! :) Report Review
This is cool, I can see that you are going to have a lot of fun with it. I can't wait to read the rest.Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review :D
I am having a lot of fun with it, your prediction is correct. I shall be rather sad when I actually finish it. I haven't touched the final chapter yet though and that's the one I'm most looking forward to writing so all is good at the moment :D Report Review
I love it. You often see something on TV or in a story and think about what might've been going on inside that character's mind. This is Molly through and through, the sweetest woman pushed too far.
Excellent writing and wonderful flow, she's like a geyser building steam and even without the book I doubt anyone could fail to guess about what happens when she erupts on that very evil woman.
Molly's scene is a personal favorite of mine and it never fails to give me pause when I read it, I only hope the movie does it justice. You sure did :)Author's Response: Yes! I know totally what you mean about Molly! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I liked it a lot! It is the day-to-day stuff that can happen at Hogwarts that makes it magical.
Very few grammar errors (think there were a couple of skipped articles early on, but that's it). The characters were all well-written and recognizable. Overall it was a good read for a quick Hogwarts fix.
God knows we could all do with a bit of that from time to time.Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reviewing :)
Haha! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll go back and check for those errors. Thanks for pointing it out. :)
-Sophia Report Review
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