Okay, tips: don't be quite so big on making everyone so much like the beloved original characters (their parents). It can get confusing and ruins a little of the fresh perspective that a second-generation story is supposed to have.
I also notice a tendency to switch points-of-view, like saying "they'd all become closer than bark on a tree" instead of "WE'D all become closer..." & "Fred jumped up and embraced her" instead of "jumped up and embraced me". Gotta be careful of that.
Just a few thoughts. (Hope you don't mind a critique.) Lily Potter's arrival was great though :). Do go on. This could be interesting... Report Review
How much am I loving this story?? This much! Oh wait, you can't see me, can you? Well suffice it to say that I am positively hooked and that this is the only next-generation story that I like thus far :). Now you guys update soon or I'll have to send out a band of angry gnargles to each of your homes. Just kidding. Mostly (lol). 'Bye! Report Review
Well now that explains a lot. Now I, for one, feel compelled to request that the story not get completely dramatic, or at least not for very long, now that both the main characters are starting to beat themselves up over their attraction. A few dramatic chapters though- like this one- add depth and reality to the story. Good job! p.s.: Am now dying for an update more than anytime previous. lolAuthor's Response: Yeah, finally, huh? :D Haha ^^
No, it won't get much "deeper" than this, if that's the correct term :p It isn't a dramatic story - it's only that I needed to explain some things about Draco's past so that people felt they knew him a little better, and I only needed this one short chapter to do that ^^
I've just finished the latest chapter, so it won't be long for you to wait ^^
Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing, hon :D
*Maria Report Review
WELL. This whole story started out a bit rocky, but throw in a bit of erotica and a little international flare, and look at it now!
Let's have some interaciton between Hermione and other Gryffindors, to make the story more grounded, shall we? (Well maybe you already had that planned; just thought I'd mention it.) That's all for now. Toodles!Author's Response: Haha, yeah, it's not a good story - I know. I wrote this in 2008, and the only reason to why it was updated recently is that I corrected some typos in the first chappie.
This story is abandoned, so I won't be writing this for a while. But if I do, then I'll be sure to use this :D
Thanks for reading and reviewing my old story, hon :)
*Maria Report Review
Oh no, I meant I find it a little odd that a place with the word "cauldron" in the name isn't part of the magical world. I wasn't pointing out a spelling mistake. lol.
I'll tell you what an author at a writing seminar said once: "Hard writing makes easy reading." The best kind of story is one that's such an easy read that it practically reads itself to you (lol), so if you're pulling your hair out while writing this story it'll only add to its awesomeness X)
&&yeah, about Diagon Alley, I love that aspect of this entire story-- that it's not just that these two like each other, but Draco is actually GOOD for Hermione in that he's bringing her back to herself. And yes I did notice the title mention; I thought it was quite clever. Ofttimes a title mention can seem forced, but you did it nicely.
I think I'll go and heap praises upon some other story of yours now, and/or perhaps find something else that could benefit from my critical eye. lol. Update soon!Author's Response: Oh, hahah - I did not get that :p lol
Ooh... I like that :) "Hard writing makes easy reading." Yeah, I AM pulling my hair out, and I quite frequently just throw my computer away from me(making sure that it always lands on something soft, though:p) because I'm so mad at myself for writing so badly. And I'm now in a middle of a no-inspiration phase, so I'm madder than ever! But I keep on trying - for you guys, my dear readers ^^
Exactly! Draco is kinda pushing Hermione back into civilisation, and it's scary but she really needs it. And Draco is the only one she would let do that kinda thing too, I mean, Harry, Ginny and Ron must've tried like a million times to get her to come with them to "magical places", but she always refused. But Draco just didn't take no for an answer, did he? :p He didn't even ask her, actually! Hahah :D
I was so proud of myself when I got to mention the title, and when I was reading through it later(something I do like twenty times before submitting a chapter) I was seriously jumping with joy that it didn't sound... I dunno, corny or something :p Haha
Hahah, you do that :p And my next chappie is in queue for validation, which is like 4 days long now... But please, hang in there, cause this next one is TOTALLY different. I hope you'll like it, though :)
THANK YOU for reading and reviewing, hon! :) Hope you keep it up!
Random question guys: which Weasly twin took Angelina Johnson to the Yule Ball? Please help!
(Sorry, Maria, for using your review section like this but I didn't know where else to go!)Author's Response: I can't remember, and when I Googled it I was none the wiser... one says George, the other says Fred. So, sorry. Can't help you :)
(It's okay :p But you know you could go to the forums and ask this? :) ) Report Review
Ooookay. There's just ONE positive bit, and that is that I'd really like to know what Harry said to mister and mrs. Weasley.
But aside from that: this is a bit poorly written, to say the least. It is inconsistent, choppy and unbelievable, to say the most. [Weren't Draco's eyes blue in the first chapter? And wasn't the common room packed, noisy and bustling when Hermione and Draco first entered it? How did it suddenly become deserted at the beginning of chap. three??] I do like the idea of a Harry/Hermione/Draco friendship, but it could definitely be executed better.
I mean if you're going to demonize one of the golden trio [which I just don't recommend anyhow; it's almost impossible to make a good story out of that] you have to do it PROPERLY. Not so EXTREME. (I mean, REALLY? RAPE? Ron? A rapist??? Come on.)
*Sigh* I know this review is mean, but I just find that I am absolutely scandalized by this story. Hey- if nothing else, you definitely know how to pile on the shock value. Erm; that's all. Toodles.Author's Response: Im sorry if you do not like the direction this story has taken however, i have read many stories and i am trying to be as different and unique as possible, i realise it is far fetched but after all this is fiction and the story is named 'reverse of reality' for a reason...
i appreciate the review though, i did not realise there were inconsistencies throughout the current chapters so i thank you for pointing that out. Report Review
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