Reading Reviews From Member: hplover987
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hplover987Circumstance: Circumstance

5th February 2013:
Here for the review swap :)
The beginning of this . . . Just wow. I really loved it and thought it was really well written and expressive.
I loved the memory as well. I'm not a Snily shipper (Jily is my OTP) but I think the way you portrayed Snape was really good. I can kind of see there was a possible love. I've never read Lily like that either, it was a nice change.
Snape isn't my fave character but you've half converted me ;)
- Kelci x

Author's Response: Muahhaha my mission to convert all to the love of Snape is almost complete :D:D

No, but seriously, thank you for the wonderful words of encouragement! I really did try to explain one of the most mysterious phenomena in HP - namely why in the name of the Fae would Snape and Lily remain friends for so long and why would he love her quite so much?

I'm thrilled that you liked the beginning, I wasn't too confident about it.

Thanks for the feedback! Cheers!


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Review #2, by hplover987Tango: Lipschitz

29th July 2012:
I just discovered this and . . . .WOW! I loved it. It was something about knowing that they all have the capability to kill someone and knowing the reasons for it. None of them really felt remorse and seemed proud in a way. I just found it really interesting and easy to read. Knowing that love can drive people over the edge. This is now one of my favorites! :)

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Review #3, by hplover987Fix you: Chapter 2

23rd February 2012:
Hi again! I liked this one as well. I didn't think she was as quirky as she was in the first chapter but that might just be you progressing with your story. I've got a better idea of who Mary is and what her passion is (art obviously). when you talk about Meths and her eating habits you remind me of myself because when ever i have to do assignments for college i can skip breakfast, start at 10 and not eat until dinner when someone stops me. She obviously cares about her friends and doesn't want to worry them. She's a really interesting character and i think there's more to her. Maybe if you told a bit of back story. I don't know if the skipping meals thing is in your plot, if thats some past problem or something she went through - eating disorders. I feel like there must be more to her than meets the eye. You've written Albus different than most do so he isn't cliche. I normally write James I or James II like this but with more womanising charm. I really liked this story! Keep writing :) x

Author's Response: Yay! Another review from you. *happy dance*

You are right. I am trying to bring out the other side of Meth. I just hope I can show that she is more than another sarcastic OC.

I love Mary and her artsy side. So it's great that you are liking her as well. So thanks.

About her eating habits. She often skips her meals when she is busy with her study. I plan to write a bit more about her family as well.

You think my Albus is not cliche Wow. Really, this is an amazing complement for me. I was worried that my Albus is not coming across properly. So thank you.

Your review made my tiring day a whole lot better. So thank you for that.


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Review #4, by hplover987Fix you: Prologue

23rd February 2012:
Hi! hplover_987 from the forums for our review swap ; )

I love stuff like this. Its interesting to read and has that quirky edge and you can tell that Meths is a quirky and random character. I think her friendship with Mary is interesting because they seem close and from what you wrote about them sending letters makes them see close but they don't really spend time together out of Gryffindor tower. I love her friendship with Albus. I have mainly guy friends and I love reading about a really close friendship with a boy without it meaning or leading to a romantic relationship! You go it good. I haven't heard people use Crystal Meth for a while, I like you throwing it in :) And I love Albus, with his fave couple. I have guy friends who say that to me!

On to Chap 2 :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Your review just made my day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The characters Meths,Mary and Albus are inspired by people I know in my real life. So I am glad you like them. You liked the Crystal Meths reference?Awesome.

About the fav couple part.I have guys friends who says the same thing to me too. :p

Once again,thank you.


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Review #5, by hplover987Exceptional: Real Sisters

20th February 2012:
Hi :) I'm doing my reviews for my Pureblood Challenge.

I really like this and I'm happy somebody chose to write about Lucy because she can be such an iteresting character but people hardly choose her because she's so minor. I liked that she didn't feel part of her family and had a real hang up and even a fear of her families sucsess and being a failure and I guess disapointing them. You chose to place her in Hufflepuff (which is where I always place her too ; ) ). I think the way you wrote her, questioning herself and where she's destined to go in life fitted Hufflepuff. You went into a little detal about the other members of her family but not in a way that took the focus off Lucy. You wrote in first person well which isn't always easy to do. No grammar stuff as far as I can tell. You also menioned that blood purity doesn't matter to her house and I can never see Hufllepuff's being hung up about it anyway and could see a mixture being sorted into that house.

I would of liked to of seen maybe more info on what blood status means in the next gen era and what it means to Hogwarts but not too much to make you go off point and lose Lucy's thread if that makes sense.

As I said I really liked this and thought you did really well at writing a Pureblood character and writing a family Weasley piece. Well done! You'll hear off me soon through blog and PM if you get 1st, 2nd, 3rd prize or a special mention. Thank you for entering and I enjoyed reading :D x

Author's Response: Hi! I am glad you liked this. I never really thought I'd ever write Lucy but because I paired the phobia challenge with this and needed a pureblood, she seemed like the best option. I did place her in Hufflepuff basically because of her fear of failure, it seemed more fitting. It was either that or Slytherin. She doesn't really feel like a part of her family and spends a lot of time wishing she could be more like them. Talking about her cousins, I had to stop myself after so many, and chose to stick with the ones older than her or the same age, not wanting to completely lose focus of her and ramble too much about them.

I'm glad you thought the first person was written well. It's mainly what I write, so it's good to know I do it well. And I like it because I really enjoy getting into a character's head; I feel like I don't achieve that so much when writing in third person.

I am sorry I did not include more about blood purity. I realize now that that should have been included, I kind of wrapped up in the phobia part of this story. But I think Lucy's character has more pressing things to worry about and doesn't see blood purity as an issue or even bother with those who see differently than her. I don't really see her as being someone to advocate equality even though she has nothing against it. She's sort of too wrapped up in herself for that... and now I'm making her seem pretty self-centered...

Again, I am so glad you liked this and enjoyed the minor Weasley character who doesn't fit in with the rest. Really, this pieced did not turn out anything like I originally planned, but I do like it and think it turned out better than planned, or else you would have been reading an overly emo whiny character, and by 'whiny' i mean whinier than she already is.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I can't wait to see the results!

xxEnigmaticEyes16


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Review #6, by hplover987A Stone Memorial: Pennies in a fountain.

18th February 2012:
Wow! I really loved this! I loved how at the beginning you had that inner thought about how she'd be forgotten in a way and just be another name.

I loved how you showed her fear and how she felt like a coward for hiding as she watched bodies fall and the dead order and good members lying dead while she hid. It felt really real.

Then the scene of her seeing Percy's family and seeing the beauty of the sadness, as you wrote that I imagined the scene and got the sense of raw beauty that grief has and her just wanting to capture it and document it.

Then I thought the end was actually quite beautiful in a sad way with Percy holding her and kissing her but then questioning himself after. And the way you linked the intro up with the end.

If this is your first attempt at angst then well bloody done!! Its hard to get the balence right and make it touching without depressing :) x

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing me so quickly! You certainly got around to it quicker than I did you.

Thank you so much! that means the world to me! I know that encouraging stuff like that helps me write so much ♥ I do think that is something you would worry about in a situation like that, personally. Also, I think Penny is quite insecure, so that spurred the thought on :D

That scene wasn't originally going to be in it, neither was Percy, but it suddenly came to me, and is certainly my favourite part. I could just imagine it as a photograph, and I think Penny would be a photographer, the way I imagine her, so I sort of put two and two together.

Thank you again, it means so much that someone likes my writing, and I hope i didn't make it too depressing. That would be bad :L I don't think I did, anyway.

Thanks so much for the review!!!


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Review #7, by hplover987The Woman: The Woman

18th February 2012:
I thought this was really interesting! I don't read much of this pairing but I love the portrayal of Audrey as Adler because I just love the characterization of her! She's seductive, teasing, secretive and very good at being a con artist. I just love how you've made her and her being like Percy's one weakness if that's the sort of thing you're going for. Percy is like you'd imagine Percy and I loved Kingsly as well. I just think that this is really interesting and intriguing and I really want to see where you go with this! :) x

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I always see an 'Audrey and Percy pairing' and just think: "Oh God, how dull," which is really horrible of me. I've never tried to read one of them, because just the thought of someone identical to Percy Weasley just makes me drift off a little.

I wanted to portray her as someone utterly different from everything we expected. JK never told us anything about her, after all, so it was left open to our assumptions.

The way she's characterised in this lets Percy be someone different, too. She's unpredictable and a little off-the-rails so it's something completely unexpected for him to approach, and offers us a new side of him.

Thanks so much for the review and I'm really glad you enjoyed it! :) xxx


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Review #8, by hplover987Ruby: Unrequited love

30th November 2011:
Hi, first of all thank you for entering!
I really liked this, it wasn't long but you really got the message of the song across. You could really relate the lyrics of the song with the characters actions. How James felt crushed and humiliated from Lily practically torturing him. James was perfect, I thought him declaring his love was nice but it went a little over the top when he kept repeating himself. I loved Lily as week, you can tell this could of easily been the turning point in the Lily James situation. I think you did really well.
Good job :D

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Review #9, by hplover987Harry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Prologue

13th November 2011:
hplover987 here with your review.

First of all well done on a good prologue. They're not always easy to write and I think you did a good job. The length was right and you introduced your characters and set the scene/surroundings.

Strengths
You kept Harry in character and wrote his characteristics from the book. His actions e.g. him searching for his wand and walking into the unknown. His thoughts/feelings e.g. the curiousity, good observations, nerve and daring and also him internally refuring to Voldemort as Tom Riddle. His dialog e.g. him commenting on being dead once again. Ginny was also in character. She only had a small part but you played her well. Her dialog was fitting for her character and her presence in the chapter was good. I thought the flow was done nicely and everything seemed to fit together.

Weaknesses/improvements
I haven't got many improvements for you. I think it would be nice to have slightly more detail of Harry's surroundings on the walk to Kings Cross and on the platform, just a few small details that would give the reader a greater idea. At times I also felt the pace was slightly fast e.g. when Harry is walking to Kings Cross. That would be fixed by adding that extra detail which would also slow the story down slightly. I would also try and show Harry with some aprehension, worry and confusion. He doesn't have his wand so he would probably feel vunlerable, in the books he dives right in but there is always that trace of aprehension however small and the last time he was at Kings Cross it was because Voldemort had destroyed a part of his soul that lay in Harry, wouldn't you be confused to end up there again?

Britpicking
As for Britpicking you had no problems in this chapter. No worries there.

Summary
Overall I think this was a really nice starting chapter. The flow was good, no major improvements. Well done.

My opinion
I would personally like to read more of this and I liked the slight witty sarcasm Harry had and him refuring to Voldemort as Tom Riddle.

I hope you found this helpful! If you have any questions then just PM me, I don't bite. Please reply and feel free to re-request. x

Author's Response: Hi, there. I feel a little ashamed because your review was almost as long as my prologue and there isn't too much I can say in response. Part of the image I'm trying to create is one where Harry awakens in a completely blank, empty world of mist, and things gradually take shape as he finds his way to King's Cross. So there isn't really a whole lot to describe about the walk. As far as pace, I was trying to keep this very short, since it's only a prologue.

I've already requested the next chapter. Can't wait to see what you think when you get into the actual meat of the story.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by hplover987There Can Only Be One Bella: There Can Only Be One Bella

26th October 2011:
I'm still laughing. I have read twilight but hp wins hands down. I loved that, I thought it was so funny. I really am in stitches! Thank you for making my day! :)

Author's Response: I've never read Twilight and I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #11, by hplover987Fate, Maybe: Chapter Five

14th September 2011:
WOW!!! I really love this! I've read stories like this before but they always seem so obvious and get boring. I've just read all five chapters in one go and I'm begging for more! I love your writing style and the diffrences from the average the Marauders and Lily find a Harry Potter book. Please update soon and don't give up on this!!!

hplover987 x

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Review #12, by hplover987Another Full Moon: Chapter 2

2nd May 2011:
i love this story please write more soon!!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm working on it. :)

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