"On the other hand, Julian Murdock."
My favourite, though, was the Scorpius-water bit. Really made me laugh aloud. Of course, it's all quite fabulous, and entertaining without being completely obnoxious about it. If that even makes sense.
I LOVE THE PLOT. I also love Albus. Did I mention that? Hmm. I don't think I did. I think he's a really good supporting character, and I like that you didn't just go the route of "Oh, they're in the same year, they must be best friends." And I love that you include Hugo, because it seems a lot of people forget about him xD And I like that you mention all the characters; it's not just like, a few important ones, and the rest are expendable because they don't take giant leaps to move the plot forward. They're each their own special little characters that we can actually glean a lot from, even with the little subtle mentions of them. I am interested to learn more about Rose and Pippa though, as in why they're friends, how that all happened.
And of course, I can't wait to see what happens with this very epic plot of yours. OH and, I forgot to say this, I love the way you've done Hooch xD It seems like even in Quidditch stories, people tend to not pay attention to her much. She's awesome. And Rose's interactions with authority are awesome. And everything is pretty much awesome.
AND I LOVE SCORPIUS AND HIS DANDRUFF AND HIS HAIRLESS CHIHUAHUA MOTHER. I like how he's all reluctant to say outright what he wants and how Rose makes him. They are epic.
"Albus, you're getting your hair in the jam."
Girlfriend speak for, "Albus, stop being an idiot."Author's Response: I loved writing that Scorpius/water bit! :3 I'm so happy someone else did as well -- I was giggling the entire way through that scene. It looked a bit mad.
I REALLY AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOY THE PLOT. ♥ To me, the characters are just as important as the story itself, because they have to carry it around and make it happen. I always try and make characters as realistic as possible -- sometimes a stretch in a rom-com, I've found, but alas!
Pippa knows how to put it to Al straight. ;) Gah, just thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this lovely review! I'm really, really grateful that you did, and I'm so glad you're liking the story so much. Hope to see you back for chapter 4! ♥ Report Review
NO. AH. ERRUGHH. ALSDFJALS.
I KNEW IT BUT DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE TRUUUEE.
I've reread this story today and now am dying inside because you are a horrible, terrible person. How does that make you feel? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED. Or at least you should if it weren't so awesome. But since it is awesome, you are somewhat excused. But only somewhat.
I HATE THIS AND LOVE IT SO MUCH.
I love the entire story, I really do. The pace is really refreshing, and the characters have such depth that it makes me feel connected to them. Which is why it was so horrible when this happened to Rose, I felt so awful and crushed and depressed and YOU HAVE KILLED ME INSIDE. Which means you have epic writing skizllz and I shall be hopping up and down like a madwoman until this is updated again.
Thanks for another HORRIBLY LOVELY chapter :DAuthor's Response: SORREE! It had to happen, it was going to be cringeworthy. But at least this is fiction, right? We don't have to have these horrible moments in RL (except, we do, and they are frequent haha).
Glad you hated it and loved it ;) Thank you for the review! Report Review
Ahhh I love it. Then again, I always love it. I love how this story just redefines awkward xD And I think having the awkward/clumsy heroine can be overdone and unrealistic, but it's not with this story. This does it really well, in a very believable way. And I like that it's not trying too hard to be entertaining, but still manages to hold my attention. It's just so... cute :P And sweet and fuzzy and weird and awkward and awesome. And I love it.
I even like that this chapter was a bit filler-y, that it feels like you take more time to develop relationships instead of shoving the plot along and forcing things to move forward at an unnatural pace. It seems like this story is steadily building and growing on me more and more, and I definitely like that. I really like where this is going and am looking forward to more (:Author's Response: awkward is the word of the moment! I'm chronically awkward myself, so writing someone awkward comes a bit naturally~ I do enjoy writing it. I started it as a side-project to help me keep up writing when I had horrible writers' block on my other WIPs, but I've really grown to like writing it.
thank you so much! I am trying to build up the characters before all the drama comes in, haha. and there's a lot of drama, yikes ;A; but thank you for saying so! glad you enjoyed it ♥ Report Review
Gah it just gets better. I'm all excited and suchly things.
Loving Rose more and more with every paragraph, I swear. And I love the way she went on about Julian's hands, that literally had me giggling aloud. She's so... weird xD But it's not like when people write really super weird characters on purpose (is it just me, or does that seem a trend of late?) it's like she just has these legitimate moments of weirdness as any real person would.
Her wit. Ohmygosh her wit. I love it. Almost as much as I love Scorpius' trying-to-be wit.
Ah, Scorpius. He's seriously amazing. He might be my favourite character as well if Rose wasn't so awesome, but he's definitely a competitor. I can't wait to see more of him. I love that thing he keeps doing with her last name, it reminds me of a six-year-old's sense of humour (and that's me being generous). I am very curious to know how Pippa ever could've dated that little toerag. GAH. HE'S SO LAME IN A TOTALLY AWESOME WAY :D It seems like all his lines so far are something you could've heard in a million different situations, almost like they're just a natural response that he doesn't even think about. He reminds me so much of young Draco. Now he just needs a mission from the ghost of Voldemort to make him all deep and sexy xD I look forward to seeing what you'll do with him, I think there's a lot of potential there, and that's mostly the reason I'm so excited to read more!
I was still a bit iffy after the first chapter, like I didn't think it was totally gripping--it just had enough original ideas and potential for greatness that I had to keep reading--but now I shall be eagerly anticipating the next chapter. Consider me hooked. AND IMPATIENT SO HURRY UP PLZKTHX.Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear that you like Rose! :D I'll admit, I was a bit annoyed by her at first, and I think it's because she's a lot more... blunt than the characters that I'm used to writing. And then I realized that a lot of her was a bit like me, and she's grown on me considerably. :D
Scorpius is still my favorite, though! His nicknames for Rose are a bit too much fun to write. :P I've got a whole list waiting to be used in the last three chapters! The Pippa/Scorp relationship is a bit of a mystery, but the letter bit does get resolved. :D
YOU'RE SO AWESOME. ♥ Thanks so much for leaving me such positive reviews! There probably won't be an update this week -- I've got another story collection that demands my attention! -- but you can definitely bank on one the week after. Again, I cannot thank you enough for this review!!
Alright, so I have to admit that I clicked on this story because of the partly cliche plot idea in the summary. Couldn't help it. Though naturally, I wouldn't have clicked it if that same summary weren't fabulously written in a way that made me think this was a somewhat-cliche with an original spin.
And thank the heavens, I was not disappointed.
I think you have enough originality in just this first chapter to completely negate the fact that the idea has been done (although slightly differently) before. I love when stories take some smallish detail from the books and then expand on it, and I think you did it rather well. The morning announcements thing is interesting, and it makes sense that it would overlap with Rose's interest in being a Quidditch commentator, obviously; it sort of gives us a bit of backstory without just saying outright why she commentates.
Rose is awesome. And I love that she has that pride in her cleverness. I sort of get the feeling that she needs to feel appreciated, by not necessarily by other people, if that makes sense. Like she has to insult Scorpius publicly so that she feels like she's winning, even if a lot of students don't agree. But of course, I'm only one chapter in, and what do I know anyway xD I like her, though.
I'm excited to see how Rose's character develops; she's rather intriguing and refreshingly herself. On to chapter two! (:Author's Response: I've not read a lot of next generation, I'm sad to admit, but I do know that a lot of this (and I'm not ashamed to admit it) was originally devised for that specific attraction. Over the course of the story it's morphed into something quite different, but that's for later chapters to decide. :D
I am glad you find it decently original, though! I do love the books and try to incorporate them into everything I write, even if it's just fan fiction. And actually, I think you're quite spot on about Rose -- she's got a sort of insecure personality, I feel.
Ahh, thank you so much for taking the time to review this -- I'm so honored, and it means a lot to me that you did! Hope to see you back soon -- you're fantastic! ♥ Report Review
ALFJLSA. Okay. Confession. I have been reading this story since forever and have been far too lazy to leave reviews. Well okay, that makes me sound bad; it's not /entirely/ laziness. Mostly it's that if I figured if I reviewed then I might be expected to keep reviewing and disappointment may follow if I couldn't be bothered to. I have since realised how self-centred that makes me, because you probably won't even notice if little old me doesn't review your story but IT WAS MY EXCUSE. And it was a bad one, but there you have it. I don't really make things of the sensical variety.
BUT ANYWAY. POINT. Point is that this chapter was too awesome and I just really want to squee about it so I figured I would try my best to articulate this squee-ness so you might receive some measure of my joy and immense gratitude.
I worship you very creepily.
Potterpuff is pretty much the most amazing creation in the universe. I always imagined Albus this way (not quite to this degree, I'm not that creative, but eh) but since I love next-gen so much, I sort of ignored it in other stories when the authors completely threw aside the DH epilogue of how he had insecurities and was teased and all that. You took little Albus Severus and made him into literally one of the best next-gen canons ever (and yes, I'm aware that comment is oddly specific, but I have a point, I swear). What I mean is you took what little we knew about him from canon and then exploded it into amazingness that fits perfectly but it also its own original epicsauce. If that even makes sense. I'm not that talented with articulating squee-ness, I admit, but part of that is probably because it's not actually a word itself. So... bleh. Excuses again.
Scorpius is also just fabulous, especially in this chapter. I love how wrote him choosing Bea, how it makes sense the way he did it because of who he is. Like he's still all Slytherin-y about it because everything he's doing is really for himself, but at the same time the way it's done gives me the feeling that eventually he's going to realise he does actually care about Bea (whether that's in the romantic sense or not, the story is bombsauce either way) and sort of come out of his little Scorpius-cocoon more and may he will actually have friends and naturally this would bring more capers and hilarity, so I'm all for it.
AND BEA. Of course Bea. She's one of the most original characters I've ever read, even outside the realm of fanfiction. The way you develop her character is just fantastic and intriguing and almost in a sneaky sort of way so the reader may not actually get that they're understanding her on a deeper emotional level until they realise OMG THAT MOVE/LINE/FACE IS TOTALLY BEA. Or at least that's how it was for me. ILHSFM. Especially cause I was already interested in the Weasley twins with the HP books, like how exactly the inventing process would work and stuff, and then I see this and it's like HNNG I'M READING WEASLEY TWINS AWESOMENESS EXCEPT IT'S NEXT-GEN WHICH AMPLIFIES THE AMAZING BY A THOUSAND PERCENT. Of course she's a lot different than the Weasley twins but still. That's what it reminds me of. And then you add this whole new level what with Fred being her accomplice and all and GAH.
Just... LOVE. AND SQUEE. AND THINGS. AND MORE SQUEE. AND OTHER THINGS THAT ARE SYNONYMOUS TO SQUEE.
Gah. I can so picture Albus on that broomstick. I'm totally visual like that with stories, I always see them as if they were films. And then I have to re-read a paragraph or line and adjust the camera angles in my head. And then eventually I just re-read the entire story (which I've done like three times already, JSYK) to perfect it and make it all pretty in my head. And this story is very pretty.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, not that I did in the first place, so I'm just gonna SQUEEE some more and then stop the incessant typing because if I don't now, I'll never shut up.
Oh and one more thing I LOVE YOU AND WATCH YOU LIKE A DINGO WATCHES A HUMAN BABY.
AND NO I DID NOT STEAL THAT LINE FROM AN ANIMATED FILM.Author's Response: OMG I LOVE YOU. SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. LIKE I HAD THIS HIGH PITCHED SQUEE THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS READING THIS. AHHH. LIKE I AM REREADING THIS REVIEW AND SQUEEING AGAIN.
-also clears throat-
Everything you say about my characters :3 eee it's exactly what I want to get across. Capers!Albus is a little more fail than my original headcanon Albus. I've always fancied him as a bit of a next gen Neville -- Harry without all the boy-who-lived frills. I totally didn't understand the whole Hot!Albus characterization when I first came across it (though I also dabble in writing a celebrity-jaded!Albus). I can imagine James as charismatic but Albus always has to be like a huge dork or the awesome sidekick for me (most of the time I imagine older him as Colin Morgan hehe).
I was SO worried about writing Scorpius this chapter, but omg, you pretty much explained it exactly how I imagined his decision to be like. It was super important for me to show that this decision is about -him-, even if it is tied to Bea. As smitten as he is with Anjali (an idea I tried to push in earlier chapters), he makes it clear what's more important to him in this chapter and he won't let her keep him down. And Bea knows this now, and they share this same sort of tenacity, and thus opens the whole world of MORE CAPERS :D
AND AHHH you totally make me love Bea even more just from saying all those things. Aha, in this weird way, I never had to mind her so much because she's that spunky/independent type. So even in my head, she'll give me a little hand wave and be like, "Let me handle this; I'll write myself. Just toss in some biscuits, k?" Heee I love that there are totally Bea expressions. I HAVE THEM IN MY HEAD BUT SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S JUST IN MY HEAD. She's got this really withering -You've got to be kidding me- glare, which I always find hilarious because it's probably the one expression she /receives/ the most from other people. She might be so weird to other people, but then people like Scorpius are so weird to her.
Inventing's like a combo of my two favorite fields. That crazy creative come-up-with-something part and then the nerdy science part where I get to spout things about physics :D
And Capers has always been like a tv show in my head. Writing's just my way of expressing it without a camera. And homg you've read it 3 times? I haven't even read it all the way through recently xD Omg self conscious now, I really ought to edit.
Seriously, reviews for Capers always make my day so much. I always get these huge reviews out of nowhere that just astound me. People cheer on my characters and pick favorites and analyze them to bits just like you do and it's so so awesome. I feel like I'm in one big family with all my characters and my reviewers or something. IT'S JUST FUZZY ALL AROUND AND I HUG MY LAPTOP SCREEN.
I LOVE YOU AND YOUR /FANTASTIC/ SQUEES AND YOUR NON-ANIMATED FILM QUOTING. ♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
Oh, this is so cute and awesome (: I love that while Flora's sort of the 'classic nerd' character, she's still original. Like she's got the klutziness and the glasses and the rambling, but her voice is so unique that it doesn't matter if her concept is a tad bit cliche.
The whole friendship dynamic of Flora/Scorpius/Fauna feels very real. They all play a part in a part in the relationship together; and they seem to fit really well yet be out of place at the same time. If that even makes sense xD
And the kiss! GAH. YOU'RE KILLING ME. I must understand! These are things I have to know. Which means your should write more. Even if it is unedited and only takes an hour. If you can write like this under those conditions, I will surely have to favourite this story and stalk it until you update.
Thanks for the truly entertaining read! Hope there's more coming soon (:Author's Response: Hee, Flora is intended to be a great big bundle of quirk and cliche. This story...this story may not be entirely serious, but I'm having a total ball writing it. It's immense fun.
It makes perfect sense, and thank you very much for saying so!
Unedited and only taking an hour...haha, that's basically everything I write! The bad thing about being a TA is that I just sort of word vomit, forget to proof-read, post straight away, and then regret it all a day later. So I will continue as I started (:
thank you for the lovely review! :D ♥ Report Review
I. LOVE. ROSE. SO. FUHREAKING. MUCH. She's so amazingly crafted. It's like you took this simple idea of her--being Head Girl, caring for people, maintaining a perfect exterior--and then painted an entire picture around it. I love how this chapter demonstrates how far her reach goes; what she does affects everybody else.
I love the way you wrote this chapter, too. It's sort of an odd idea, writing one scene from the point of view of different characters. It seems like it should've felt redundant, but it absolutely didn't. And doing it at this point in the story was genius. We're all so invested in each of the characters now, it's entirely poetic to take one thing they all have in common--this scene, those three little lines of dialogue--and dissect it four completely different ways. And not only that, but restate several tiny mentions of things in a whole new light.
The way you addressed perfection in this chapter was truly astounding. How Rose absolutely has to have it in her life, how that shapes all of her other characteristics. How Elodie is so well-versed in it to notice the flaws, how her descriptions suggest she knows she has it, yet she doesn't at the same time. How Albus judges it by observation, dreams of and envisions it without ever actually seeming to try for it, how he sometimes seems content with that and is sometimes anything but. How Elodie is such a huge part of Scorpius' life that he almost seems to judge the perfection of the world based on her.
Gah. It's just... I can't even... I don't understand how it's possible for all of this to be put in this one chapter and have it be so overwhelming yet leave me wanting more and more and more. MUST HAVE MORE. PLEASE OR I WILL DIE.
I have literally read this story at least four times over entirely, just to experience it again. I. Love. It. Report Review
AWW LILY AND LUKE. I was hoping. He's so cute. LOL it's funny to see how Lily reacts like that, yet is all like "it's so obvious, duh" to Amber xD Girls tend to do that, don't we? And seriously, the way he asks her to be his girlfriend, gaaahhh. I love that everything seemed really in character with him, too, like you didn't just make him completely different for the sole purpose of "now he's Lily's love interest so all the readers must love everything he does." You know? Well... *cough* guess you do :P
Amber just makes me go aw x a million. I thought JKR said Salem Witches was actually a coed school, but I love that you have it all-girls either way. You make it work. And it's like, it's sort of the basis for a lot of Amber's general character so far, but she's still more than just that.
And gaaah ohkay back to Lily and Luke cause I love them. I love Lily's reaction to his flirty/kissing thing. Like you made it clear that was inexperienced in that department, but you didn't like have her ramble in her head forever and freak out and go nuts, which is almost as annoying as when people have their characters suddenly and inexplicably know what to say. And it tells us lots about Luke, too, uncovers a little sweet side that's not too cliche or out of character, but just enough difference to say that hey, he does like her, and he wants her to know.
I just... love... everything. Bah xD So original yet so believable. And it flows really well, like you don't have to have really crazy actiony stuff every little scene for me to want to keep reading. I like that. Aaaand I love how you don't just leave off ends, like you still mention getting letters from home, and you add a little bit in about Amber and Nathan, just to remind us that it's still a little plotline, etc.
Okay. Done now. Swear!Author's Response: WOOHOO. LOOK AT THIS MASSIVE REVIEW. THIS JUST MAKES MY MORNING.
A WILD SHIP APPEARS. I quite like this ship, actually. And I hate it when characters suddenly change because they become someone's love interest - if Luke does that, feel free to kick me in the face.
Amber rocks. And I didn't know about Salem Witches' being coed (Oh noes! I'm ignoring canon!) but I can't imagine any boys wanting to go to a school called Salem Witches', can you? And you're right, it is pretty important for her character.
I think it's fair to say Lily didn't suddenly and inexplicably know what to say...I mean, really. "You spelled establishment wrong" ? Obviously she's a perfect girl who knows the best way to respond to guys in a flirtatious and romantic manner.
I'm so glad you're enjoying it! And I do have to include the little things - it's not like everything else fades into the background just because she's suddenly got an attractive Quidditch playing boyfriend. That would get really old really fast :P
Thanks for the awesome review!
Anyway. I love Amethyst. One chapter and already I'm like, OMG this girl is so awesome. So many lovely OC's. I definitely think she's perfect for the role you set her in, and I'm amazed that you were able to develop her so well so quickly. And I think she develops Lily's character well, too; we learned more about Lily in a way that really flowed the story and even though it seemed like kind of a random tangent at first, I think you really worked it in well.
And the painting thing--SO COOL. I didn't even think about how wizards would paint. Which is weird because I study visual arts :P I love how you do that, just take everything from our world and wizardify it so creatively that I'm just automatically like THAT IS SO CANON. This story really feels like a continuation of the books, no joke, it just fits perfectly.
The quidditch too, and Luke... gah. Love. And random sappy moment with roommate, yayyy xD Already super excited for the next chapter!Author's Response: I quite like Amethyst as well. I was thinking of writing a story with her as the main character before I started writing this one, and decided I really wanted to use her because she was a pretty neat OC.
I'm not really much of an artist type - that's why I write :P - but I know enough arty people to want to work in some of that. You have no idea how happy it makes me that my ideas seem canon! I love canon, and being able to expand on it believably is awesome.
I've always sort of thought of this story as a random backburner that only has a few readers, so I'm thrilled that people are really enjoying it! Hopefully that'll prompt me to post more often :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
AH. I was writing a Lily Potter story, and I was like, screw this, I just want to read one. And now I found one. And it is awesome. And I am happy.
I. Love. This. How she's like the only Weasley/Potter going to university, yet she still has no clue what she's doing. Cause that's like... opposite xD And stuff. And your OC's are awesomeee. Love the New Zealand/Australian thing! And I like how you're dealing with the whole Lily-being-famous thing, I think that's how someone would realistically deal with it.
And Lily is just fabulous. She's a completely real character, and hilarious, and just... GAH. Iloveher. And Hugo! Bahaha. It seems like nobody ever includes Hugo xD And omigosh Amber/Nathan. CUTE.
Please update soon. Or I might have to go back to writing my own story and that would be sad for everyone.Author's Response: Whoo! I always get so excited when people stumble across this story because it doesn't have many devoted readers, and I'm glad it's found a niche :P My characterisation of Lily is half to redeem her name after I butchered it in Dragons Awakening (if you've read it, you know what I'm talking about, if not, she's not the most morally upstanding of characters.)
I had to include the NZ/Australian thing. I'm from New Zealand, and was like OOH THIS IS AN INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY. BRING IN THE ANTIPODES.
You ship Amber/Nathan! I never know how shipping two OCs is going to work out in the eyes of the readers, but seriously, you can't help but ship them.
I'm sure your story isn't that bad, but tell you what. I'll chuck a new chapter up RIGHT NOW. Yes. Lucky lucky you :P Report Review
LOL. Okay, so just from the first chapter, it's easy to see why you won Most Original Character. She's hilarious. And unlike so many other of those characters that ramble all the time, she just seems so tangible. Like it's easy to write random funny characters that say ridiculous things, but Pippa's different. I love that we can see how she paints people, that she isn't really rational about it, she just spouts off whatever she sees. And her humor isn't forced, it's just there because of who she is. It doesn't sound like she's even trying to make you laugh, which is awesome because that makes it even funnier. She seems so effortless!
And I love that she's a Slytherin. That's not even the only stereotype you've demolished either, I love Scorpius. And how you emphasize the differences between the Potter boys. And this is random, but I love whoever it is you've chosen to represent her in the graphics, because it seems to fit perfectly.
Just... awesomesauce, that's all xDAuthor's Response: Really? I'm so glad you can see that :) It means a lot to me. Wow! That is a huge compliment! Yes! You've summed her up really well. And I'm glad the humour isn't forced, I hate forced humour. Thanks so much! I'm so glad that you like her character.
Thanks! I really wanted to write a Slytherin character. And Scorpius is huge with everyone :) Thanks! I saw that girl and I just thought she was Pippa. She is Pippa in human form. She has that dainty look that Pippa has.
Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a wonderful day! xxx Report Review
Ahhh I love this! xD I love that she's totally real--I mean, she seems like an actual person which is more than I can say for a lot of OCs that somehow randomly get involved with the Potters/Scorpius. Like it's still totally weird and coincidental, but it's believable and well-written. I love that even though it's the first chapter, we can already start to distinguish between the wild boys. I'm really interested to see how Chandler's character develops.
It was funny, I read this summary and was like BOOM banner idea! That means it's a pretty bomb summary :P
And OMIGOSH know what i just realized? I made a banner for one of your other stories xD Dang you have good stories! Now I need to go read them all.
And you have to update this one soon mmk?! Cause it's awesome. *fangirl squee*Author's Response: Heya :) I'm so glad you like my story! It means a lot to me. Thank you! That is such a huge compliment on the 1st chapter! Thank you! I'm so excited to get into this story!
Haha! Thank you :) I had the summary written before I had even wrote the first chapter!
wow! did you? thank you so much! that is amazing!
And yes, I will try to update as soon as possible! Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a great day!
xxx Report Review
This had me giggling like mad the entire time. Lexi's voice is awesome, I think she's very well done. And I like that you, unlike a lot of comedy writers these days, aren't too obsessed with the humor to forget what good writing is.
I absolutely love your characters--Lexi, of course, but I've grown rather fond of Chloe already. I love her random freaking-out-ness. I love that you put in stuff like that, stuff that actually happens, instead of just going "plot, plot, plot, plot" all the time and missing the fact that they're real teenagers and have random little bouts of crazy that sometimes have no relation to the plotline.
And I love Oliver's attitude, too; he's one of those characters that could absolutely fit in real life. I think you've done the fit Quidditch bloke stereotype with just enough original UMPH in there to really capture all that is Oliver. Oh, and I am totally nuts over the whole "FrednGeorge" thing. Wish I'd thought of that. Brilliant, and funny every time.
Very believable, very funny, and very... Lexi.Author's Response: Wow! What an awesome review! Thanks!
I'm so happy that you think it's funny. I'm never quite certain about my comic abilities... And yeah, for me, it's always about the writing before the humor (if anyone actually understands my humor, that is).
Chloe's so much fun to write. She's like an mixture of all of my most crazy friends. For her, I basically took the stuff that goes on in our lives and amped it up like twenty million times.
Oh, Oliver. The books don't give us much to go on for him, so I hoped that I was getting it right. This Oliver is always the way that I've pictured him. Glad that you are enjoying his Oliverness!
Thanks so much for the amazing review :) Report Review
Oh, I'm almost in tears! Not only because this chapter was so moving but because there AREN'T ANY MORE. But mostly it was moving.
Love the language here, it flows so well. Beautifully written, perfect to perfection. I LOVE THE QUILL BIT WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. Sorry that's all caps and whatnot, but I mean it. That's like... my favorite part of the whole story. So cute it's mad. Lovelovelovelovelove!
And oh Fred, I love Fred. You do such a wonderful job describing him even though he's not there. It's like we're feeling what Hollis does, imagining he's just in reach...
ACK. Do you know what I just realized that for some reason I hadn't even considered up to this point? FRED DIES. UARRGGH. NO. NOT ALLOWED. He... he can't... no! Don't you dare kill him! Well, okay, JKR already killed him but you can't do it AGAIN. No, how will I go on in life when Fred is DEAD?!
Hmph. Okay. Alright, shake it off, shake it off. Whether you kill him or not (YOU SADISTIC MURDERER) this is a perfectly lovely story, and I'm sure whatever you do will be so fantastic I won't be able to dispute a word of it. But it had better be good or else... blast, I've nothing to threaten you with. Oh well. I'm sure it will be spectacular. *tear*Author's Response: YAY, IT WAS MOVING. HAPPY DANCE.
Never fear, the next chapter shall be up soon-ish. Definitely within a week.
I'm glad you liked the quill bit. I don't think Hollis could have left Fred completely in the dark, forcing him to wonder to himself whether or not she was alive. Using the quill, this personal connection of theirs, to assure him - it's like the epitome of desperation. This chapter is all about desperation and what happens when society drives you to the ends of the earth. It was admittedly rather depressing to write.
I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS FLUFFY, THOUGH.
As for what happens to Fred, you will discover his fate soon enough. -zips lips-
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
You know, I was so HARRUMPHERKANKS when I saw that this chapter was going back, not moving forward with the delicious story. Nevertheless, I think this is an important chapter in developing Hollis' character since Delphine is such a big part of that. How you act around your best friend says a lot, I think, and you've shown that very well.
I love Delphine, LOVE HER. She's such a riot. And I love that every little thing about her contributes to this--though she makes a fool of herself outright at times, a lot of it is more subtle. Like how she calls Hermione a tart, holy toast! Shows you she's off her onion in more ways than one.
Great chapter, though it makes me shake a fist at the organization of the story because I have to know what happens next! But I still love the random snapshot thing, of course. And it doesn't matter anyway, because the next chapter is UP and it's AMAZING but more of that later :PAuthor's Response: Heee, going backwards. THERE'S A LOT OF THAT GOING ON IN THIS STORY, ISN'T THERE? One step forward, two steps back. ^_^ It will all come together in time. -steeples my hands wisely-
Delphine is the butter to Hollis's bread. And yes, she is definitely off her onion. She is /such/ fun for me to write. Calling Hermione a tart. Snerk. It shows her ignorance. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE WRONG GIRL, DELPHINE. YOU SHOULD START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO CHO AND GINNY.
Heee. I enjoy knowing that you guys will have absolutely no idea what year the next chapter is going to take place in. :3 It makes me feel sneaky. Report Review
ACK. I haven't even been leaving reviews for these! How rude of me! Maybe it's because I'm so mad there's not more when I get to the end of another chapter :P
This chapter was the cutest thing. I love the way you incorporated the dream thing in; it's absolutely perfect. And I just love Hollis more and more, how she doesn't let herself believe that there could possibly be something between her and Fred because it will make her miss him so much more... And then how she gets back at him! That's so cool, such a creative idea.
FRED. IS. AWESOME. I think he's just like book-Fred except better because we get to see so much more of him. And he seems more real. I think you've kept true to his character while adding your own captivating spin to it.
Lovely, as always (:Author's Response: I adore writing Fred. I like the challenge of making someone who was a bit one-note in the books into someone who is the same person, just expanded on. He's funny, yes, but I see him as much more than that.
Something different with this fic from my other OC's (and a lot of OC's on the archive, just being honest) is that Hollis wasn't created just for Fred's character. It's more like she's there and he's there and they just happen to bump into each other. A lot. ^_^
Thank you for reading and reviewing. It's always lovely to hear your thoughts. Report Review
I love this so much (: Your descriptions of Circe are so perfect and sort of remind me of Voldemort. Like... they're both extremely powerful but their arrogance will be their undoing. Or at least that's the impression I get!
Mrs. Macnair is an insane madwoman and general freak of nature. I find her an amazing villain because she's crafted terribly well. She's so believably evil that it's actually quite frightening, but you've stayed far away from the typical bad-guy persona and made her actually human. I think she's just perfect. And I absolutely despise her, the wretched hag.
AND I LOVE NARCISSA. I have always loved her, but you make me love her more and more with every single chapter. She's a survivor; for all the complicated things that have happened to her and all her wonderfully intricate character development, I think that short statement is the truest embodiment of her. You taken book-Narcissa to a whole new fantastic level where she still fits entirely into the world JKR created yet is an undeniable part of this world, fastened completely to every part of it.
I'll tell you, if you don't win that Best AU Dobby, somebody's getting an earful. Though I feel like posting you for that particular nomination yet again will just piss the staff off :P Screw it, I'll nominate you for everything. You'll win one of those blasted awards if it kills me.Author's Response: I apologize for taking an eternity and a half for responding to your beautiful review. I ended up sitting on reviews for too long due to a case of the lazies, and also because I am so awful at thinking of words to do the review itself justice. It seems that I can never properly convey my appreciation for reviews.
Circe has a lot in common with Voldemort. She overestimates herself, and as you said, arrogance will probably not bode well for her. And Mrs. Macnair, on the other hand, is a completely different type of villain. Her motivations are personal. She thinks about things more, she plans, she plots. She's a bit twisted in the head. It's easy to see WHY she does what she does, but it's like...there is this small part of her that is inherently evil, and Narcissa was just a trigger. She was evil waiting to happen, waiting for an excuse, shall we say.
Narcissa is very much a survivor, and I'm thrilled you see her that way, as that is what I am trying to portray. She is a woman who is strong in some ways and weak in many others, and I'm attempting to show how and why she was worn down, how she got into the situation she ultimately found herself in.
Thank you so much for the Best AU for Dobby support! It means the world to me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I keep hoping to get it because it would be wonderful to receive that kind of recognition. But I do have five other stories to compete with and all of them are lovely, so who knows. :P
Thank you for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
Um, okay, I seriously love Rose. She's the greatest. I feel like I can relate to each of your characters in some way, and that makes me want to read this story again and again and again until my eyes hurt.
Elodie is so awesome! It makes me really, really hate Dominique for going in and ruining my whole vision of Scorpius/Elodie, but of course it's not all her fault. Still. She's awful--and I mean that in the best way possible. You've even done really subtle things to add to the mound of dislike heaping upon her, which is growing larger and larger the more that I decide I really love Elodie.
I love that all of your characters are so different, yet still so alike. They are in perfect harmony with your spectacular plot which makes me twist angry faces at the computer for not presenting me with more beautiful words to read.
Have I mentioned I love this story? Because I seriously love this story.Author's Response: Hahaha! The whole point is that you are not meant to like Rose! She's the biggest git of them all, really. She thinks she's perfect and that's her flaw. She thinks she's unbreakable. I forbid you to like her!
I love Elodie lots and lots. She's my favourite girl, I think, and Albus is my favourite boy. She's very... (I want to say bipolar but it's the wrong word) two-faced. She's horrible to Scorpius but she's got a reason for that. She's nicer and kinder to Albus, a boy she's never really talked to... but she's also in love with Scorpius enough to go with him to stalk/find his father etc. etc. She's a complicated gal. Dominique's a bit of a... meh. She's manipulative too, and her and Elodie are a lot alike (that's why Scorpius picked her)... but she doesn't have that nice streak. She's just horrible. But she could be 'falling' for Scorpius so that's all complicated and nice.
You twist angry faces over my story? You don't know what that means to me. Thank you so much for all your lovely and complimentary comments - your review made my day. THANK YOU SO MUCH! ♥ Report Review
Okay, so I've decided the wolves are definitely beyond creepy. But they are one of the best parts of the story, truly. It's like they're all collectively one fascinating eerie character that I love.
And Narcissa's in a tower! Is her hair going to grow really long so Lucius can climb up it? :P I guess that's not really necessary since she can get out already, but still. He has to go find her!
I definitely want to know more about how this whole thing with Voldemort is going to affect them. Because obviously Cissa has underestimated him, and we all know she'll be forced to follow him and everything. I'm also very interested in knowing how Lucius will take it when he finds out!
But all of that can wait until they find each other again, which should happen SOON mmk? Because there are no more chapters to read, and that makes Bex very sad. But she will wait! She will stalk this story on her computer and check it every day for new amazingful chapters and she might even stalk you creepily and demand for more. Don't worry; she's so good at it that you probably wouldn't even know were it not for the fact that she just told you. Oh, well. Now you know. Is that any initiative to update sooner?
Okay, okay, I really can be patient because I know whatever you do next will be so amazing that it won't matter how long it takes. BUT STILL.Author's Response: I like that you have an appreciation for the creepy minor characters - the wolves, Malfoy Manor, etc. I feel personally that they add an eerie dimension to the story - a sort of ever-present fear. You never know the motivations of these wolves, or what they're going to do. They clearly are not normal animals, and have some sort of dark purpose. The not knowing what that purpose is, I think, adds a touch of mystery to Lucius and Narcissa's situations.
Haa long hair. So you guessed Rapunzel correctly. Originally I was going to put her in Azkaban for the Rapunzel theme - since that's a tower as well - but that didn't mesh well with me wanting the tower to sprout out of the lake. The whole thing with the lake filling up with water again and becoming this stormy prison that Narcissa believes is the sea was essential for where I'm going to go next with Malfoy Manor.
As for Narcissa and Lucius finding each other soon - I can promise you nothing. :P I KNOW, RIGHT, I KEEP ANGSTING IT UP AND DRAWING IT OUT. Can't help it. One fairy tale must conclude before another is introduced, so for now, Narcissa must be isolated in her tower. BUT FEAR NOT, HER VALIANT PRINCE IS NOT FAR.
I update this fic pretty regularly - it's not uncommon for me to post two chapters in one week. Today actually feels like a pretty good day to write...
You can probably expect an update fairly soon.
Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate every single review - I can't even begin to explain how encouraging it is to know that at least a handful of people are reading this story, and that they enjoy it. Report Review
Aha! I wonder how Lucius is going to take that...
I especially love the beginning of the chapter for its imagery and diction, and the last part for its plot-thickness :P This chapter just had everything rolled into one awesome little ball. This is probably my favorite one so far, because it's so beautiful and amazing. I'm running out of adjectives here to describe how awesome this story is; so I'll say this chapter is fantasawesomazingulous. And I mean that, I really do.Author's Response: Fantasawesomazingulous? Best compliment ever.
:) Report Review
Rumpelstiltskin, isn't it? The whole firstborn child thing.
Oooh this is so awesome! I love the really strong connection to canon here; it gives so much more meaning to the story, since we know all about her firstborn child *wink, wink*
Even regardless of the rest of this story (which is awesome, naturally), I just love this scene. I have always been curious of how it was that Narcissa and Lucius ended up joining Voldemort's ranks. I even tried writing it a few different ways, but none of them seemed to really do justice to Narcissa. I love love love what you've done with it. That and it fits so well into the story you have. Every bit of it is amazing.
AND YESS LUCIUS IS AWAKE! I bet Mrs. Macnair won't be too happy about that, now will she? They have to find out about her horribleness!Author's Response: YES LUCIUS IS AWAKE! Eee. I like writing about him too much to keep him asleep, and Voldemort being the one to sever the curse knocked out several birds with one stone:
1. I needed to explain why Narcissa joined Voldemort. A valid reason would be because she was desperate to help someone she cares about.
2. I needed to explain why a mother would ever subject their own child to the horrors of someone as evil as Voldemort. Rumpelstiltskin fit the bill here. :)
3. I needed the curse to break, but not because Narcissa and Lucius followed Circe's rules. I did not want the fairy tale declaration of love, the magical kiss that broke the curse and turned beast back into man. Narcissa is cunning, and Slytherin, and she does everything her own way. I wanted the curse to break because of a loophole, not because she followed conventional orders. Report Review
Again, just loving the enchanting fantasy of it all. I think her dreams/visions reveal so much about who she is, and they're an absolutely essential part of this. Her determination is empowering; and the best part is that it fits perfectly into the character mold you've so perfectly crafted for her. Your spot-on symbolism is rather creepy as well but utterly fascinating.
I love that Narcissa expresses Lucius' pain as hers, and that even though I think she might still be slightly skeptical of Circe (or maybe not, that's just the impression I was getting) she's recognizing that someone she cares about depends on her finding this elusive mythical person. I think Narcissa would go on to find Circe whether she believed she actually existed or not, just because she's so firm. Of course, that's just my interpretation of it; but in any case, I just love everything about Narcissa to pieces!Author's Response: You got it spot-on: Narcissa is definitely skeptical of Circe. She's skeptical of everything she can't see with her own eyes, really. It's like when she first got trapped in the castle and was devising escape plans, talking about getting plenty of rest for "her long journey home to Wasteir". She doesn't accept no for an answer, and honestly, she's got blinders on. She doesn't really believe in the all-powerful and fantastical because she spends most of her time locked up inside her own head.
But, exactly like you said, Narcissa is determined. If there is the slimmest chance that Circe might be real, Narcissa is going to find her.
I'm so glad that you're interpreting Narcissa exactly like I'm trying to portray her. :) Report Review
Alright, let me first say, I so take it back. The last review. Because this is just so beautiful. The imagery! HOW do you DO that? It's utterly insane.
Margaret is perfect. I can nearly feel the power and significance of this "mine detour," if you will. I knew you'd make me love every last bit of this thing, and I do. I really do. I am cheering for Narcissa! Though I have no clue how she'll do it, I am so chanting for her to figure it out!
I don't think I've said before how awesome the whole element of fantasy is. And I don't even mean the fairy tales being told; it's more the feelings, the pulls, the strange inklings that Narcissa has that are so fantastical but still so real. They add just the right touch of whimsical to the creepiness and the excellent plot.Author's Response: Margaret will come into play later - this is not the last you have seen of her.
And I'm rooting for Narcissa, too. She certainly doesn't have a very easy task ahead of her. I think that's what makes her fun to write about - her determination. She doesn't consider the option of giving up. She kind of reminds me of Ginny Weasley and something Ginny said once about how you think just about anything is possible if you've got enough nerve. Narcissa is strong and self-reliant, and if she wants something, she will make sure that she gets it. Report Review
Alright, I'm officially confused. But the thing is, I don't know if I'm supposed to be confused or if I just misinterpreted who Wilda was supposed to be. Probably the latter.
I have to say, I'm a lot more interested in the manor now than I am with Narcissa at all. It feels like a completely different story now, and one that I don't like quite as much. Is it weird that the manor is my favorite character? I don't know, I just find it more interesting than Narcissa right now, because it seems like she's slightly disconnected. Like I'm reading about what she's doing, but it's really not hitting me like it did while she was in the manor. Maybe it's because I'm reading too fast cause I'm so anxious for her to get back to the manor.
I just... love the manor... :P
There are definitely interesting plot developments here, and I like that we're learning more about meanie what's-his-face whose name I don't remember except that it's really weird. But for me, the manor just kind of IS the story. And without it... well, it's still a fantastic story; it just doesn't feel like it's pulling me in as much. But I guess that's my problem; I should probably slow down and actually read everything carefully.
Mrs. Macnair is so... well, I want to say awesome because I love where you've taken her, but at the same time she is very not awesome. Burning stacks and stacks of music and sending the most interesting character into an eternal sleep just to save ghost-Charlie? Come on, old hag, get a grip. But I still have to sympathize with her--you've made sure of that! Her sense of reality is quite warped, though, isn't it?Author's Response: I'll just go ahead and say, for clarity, that Wilda and Mrs. Macnair are indeed the same person. If you ever go back and skim through the other chapters, you will find that "Wilda" and "Mrs. Macnair" are never in the same room with Narcissa, and the person Narcissa believes is Wilda never shows her face. Mrs. Macnair figured it out that Narcissa thought she was two different people, and is using it to her advantage. The woman's got several screws loose. :) And yeah, her priorities with saving a ghost adds to the imbalance of her mind. She ain't all there. At all.
I do understand what you mean about a disconnect with Narcissa. Right now she is going through the motions, being pulled along and doing things she doesn't quite understand. She's starting to figure out what she wants and where she wants to go. Sometimes you have to leave home to realize how much you miss it, and that's the case here. Narcissa had to leave the manor in order to realize...well...I won't give spoilers. :) Report Review
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