Reading Reviews From Member: Claire Evergreen
65 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Claire EvergreenProblems With Pygmy Puffs: The Final Frontier...

27th October 2015:
Hey Kaitlin! Here for our swap :)

So the second that you said that Star Trek was your fandom for this, so many things clicked with the title and the "illogical" and "set wands to vanish." You worked it all in so well and even though I'm somewhat familiar with the fandom, it still took me a minute to place where everything was from, which lets it stand on its own beyond the challenge.

The whole mental picture of a room filled to the top with rogue Pygmy Puffs was hilarious. And then Fred diving into the piles head first like it was some great sacrifice. I was dying the whole time I was reading this, you did such a great job balancing it all.

Even though I (now) know you were trying to throw in Star Trek references, you did a great job staying true to what we know of Fred and George. You really had a handle on how they would react and their speech at the beginning was spot on. Verity was also a really great addition to the story and she did add a lot besides just helping to push the plot along (I don't know how that came across, but I swear that it was a compliment haha).

All in all, yet another fantastic story. You're killing all of these challenges!


Author's Response: Hi Claire!

Thanks for the swap! I'm always so excited whenever anyone reads this story because I love Star Trek so much.

I'm glad the quotes worked with the story. I don't like it when someone adds a quote and it stands out like a sore thumb, so I was really worried about incorporating that much.

I'm glad the image of Fred diving into the piles came across clearly. I really wanted this to be humorous, but humour is my weakest style, so I'm never quite sure about it.

I'm thrilled that you liked the characterization. Fred and George can be pretty intimidating to write.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words!


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Review #2, by Claire EvergreenDelicate Delacour: Fragile

15th October 2015:
Back again!

I really don't know how you can do so many challenges and still manage to write such amazing and wonderful stories! I mean, if I try to think of more than three at a time then I'm lost, but everything that you've written is just so good!

I don't think I've ever actually read anything that focuses directly Fleur, which I'm really regretting right now because she is such a complex and interesting character and you've done a beautiful job showing that here. The first two paragraphs do a really great job at describing the Fleur that we seem to see in the books from Harry's point of view, but then you go into the Fleur that we get just a glimpse of, the one that could have probably won the Triwizard Tournament if all that other stuff hadn't happened. She just seems so strong even when she's panicked about Bill's injuries.

I think I've decided that you are the master of second person. I swear that almost everything that I've read from you lately has been in 2nd person and every time I'm impressed by how well you do it. I don't think I've ever even attempted to do it, but you are able to really get the reader involved with it. I never feel jarred out of teh story because of the PoV, it always manages to make me feel like I'm part of the story.

Yet another amazing story! I'm still trying to figure out how you do it, but I'm glad I have the chance to read all of these fantastic stories!


Author's Response: Hey Claire,

I honestly try not to focus on more than one thing at a time. I'll spend a day or two mulling over a prompt, write the story, and then move on to the next one. Otherwise, it gets too confusing.

I definitely wanted to try and illustrate how much she's grown in just a few short years. With all the tragedy surrounding her and being on the brink of war, I think she'd shed that delicate girl really quickly. And she definitely could've one. I always disliked that Rowling made her seem so weak in the tournament.

Wow. That's such a huge compliment. *blushes* I do love 2nd person and I like to think that I use it a bit differently than is normal. I'm so happy that you don't find it jarring and that it helps you to feel like you're involved with the story.

Thank you so much for your kind words!


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Review #3, by Claire EvergreenLivewire: Jolt

14th October 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! Here for our swap :)


Ok, I just needed to get that out of my system really quick. I've never written anything for these two, but I am so in love with the ship it is ridiculous.

This is such a cool, angsty one-shot. I think you really capture the nature of the relationship on both sides without ever even revealing what both of them are feeling. All the emotions are so plausible and I could really feel the electricity as I read. The point of view really helped define the emotions and immerse the reader into the story, since there are no names and everything is told exclusively through first person. You do such a good job with the strange (in a good way!!) PoV and it just adds so much to the story.

I love how you can't tell which character is which as you go through the story. I did find myself trying to figure it out who was who, but it never took away from the story itself. I honestly think it worked better because I was able to really focus in on the emotions instead of who specifically was feeling them (if that makes any sense?).

Gah, I'm sorry, I haven't reviewed in forever, so this is definitely not as good as your story deserved, but I really really do love this so so much! I can't wait to get to the other stories!


Author's Response: Hey Claire!


I adore this ship as well.

Eek! This might be the first time anyone has called something I've written cool. I'm excited about that. :D

I'm happy to hear that you could feel the electricity. I wanted this to really play with emotions and I hoped that by leaving who was speaking a bit vague it would allow the reader to imagine it how they liked.

No worries. Your review totally made me smile! Thanks so much!


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Review #4, by Claire EvergreenFirst Kiss: Chapter 1

10th September 2015:
So...I'm so so so so so sorry with how long this has taken me. I just got back to school last week and have had a bit more homework than I was expecting, so...yeah. Anyway, finally here for our swap!

Alright I 100% knew that this was for the Dark Twist challenge which means I knew that it was too good to be true, but I still fell for it. I couldn't tell you why, but I honest to god thought that it was real at that beginning. You painted such a vivid picture, I was totally sold on the thought that this would be some sort of alternate universe where they went to school in seventh year and...yeah.

You nailed the characterizations here. I feel like that may be weird to say, since half of this is a halluination, but idk, you really get Ron here. Just the mannerisms and the reactions to everything were just perfect, especially the temper and the denial. People always talk about Harry's meltdown, but Ron always had that hair trigger temper which got worse whenever he was defending Hermione. And out of the three of them, he's definitely going to be most likely to deny everything.

You are completely right, having your soul sucked out of you by Dementors is horrific. I just *shudders* I don't want to even think about it. But you did an absolutely fantastic job with this story, I loved every bit of it!

Sorry again that this took so long, I really didn't mean for it to.


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Review #5, by Claire EvergreenEyes Like Skies: Your dreamerís eyes light up the way they only do for me

31st August 2015:
Hey! I loved the other one-shot so much that I had to come back for more. Plus, you left me such an amazing review that I felt bad for leaving you such a short one!

I'll admit, the point of view took me a minute to work out, but once I did, I really like the shift from the last one. Getting to see inside Imogen's head was really nice, I loved seeing her side of the relationship. Obviously we know that Dom was head over heels for her, but being able to see that Imogen was just as in love with her was fantastic, especially since it wasn't clear just how into Dom Imogen was in the last one-shot.

Everything about this was just adorable. I love that Imogen actually thinks that Dom can read minds and then tested it out. That was such a cute moment and I felt like it said a lot about her character. In the last one-shot, she seems kind of aloof and extremely confident, but here you see a lot more of her personality and I love it. You can see how vulnerable she is, like she isn't sure of how much Dom like her. It's just so cute and realistic and I love being able to see all side of her.

That whole last section was just so so so so adorable. All of her thoughts about Dom just melted my heart, I love how you've written the relationship between the two of them.

If you ever end up writing another one with these two, you have to let me know, I'd love to read it!


Author's Response: Hello again, Claire! It's great to have you back! : )

Yeah, the POV in this story is super weird. But, like, these two characters have minds of their own, I swear. Sometimes it feels like I'm just 'looking in' on their life and not actually make anything up myself. Wit this story I actually set out to write something maybe twice as long, about Dom and Imogen's first date and Imogen preparing for it, in third person... and see where I ended up! This is definitely some time after their first date, I'd say, haha! Buuut I had to write it this way, or Imogen just wouldn't cooperate, stubborn girl!

I think Imogen projects a lot of self-assurance to protect herself, but I also think she is genuinely pretty self-assured for reals too. But love makes us all a little more insecure, doesn't it? Especially when we're young. Like, Imogen is sixteen, and the schools 'objectively' most beautiful girl, who moreover is in the year above Imogen, is suddenly her girlfriend! It must seem a little too good to be true, haha. But she's also definitely much more secure in where she stands with Dom in this one, as she's willing to show her softer side and not just her 'cockiness'.

I'm actually already vaguely planning a third story about these lovebirds, where they have their first fight! Then we'll get to see Imogen's feistier side again, and we'll find out that Dom has some teeth too! So a little darker than these two first love fests, but a good relationship should be able to handle a few fights, right? I'll make sure to let you know when I get it on paper (or screen, rather, haha).


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Review #6, by Claire EvergreenMoment of Clarity: In These Walls

31st August 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle. Ok. Hold on, I just need to get myself together for a moment. That was...oh my god, this was so good!! I'm trying to find the words, but nothing is coming to mind right now. This was just absolutely brilliant, I love everything about it. There were so many emotions in this and I'm trying to process everything that I feel about it.

I love that you chose to write this from Alice's POV. I can honestly say that I've never read anything with her as the main character, but man, I really love this!! Had it been from Neville or Augusta's POV, it definitely would not have been as powerful. Being able to get into her mind and see how everything started to click before it faded away again was heartbreaking to say the least. I can't begin to imagine the pain that everyone must have felt when she remembered only to slip away again.

Those quotes (idk what else to call them haha) between all of the moments with Alice make everything just hurt so much more. Knowing that they knew what might happen but still going ahead with it anyway was awful (in a good way). Sure, the Healer told them what could happen, but even with that warning, it'd be hard not to get your hopes up when she starts to remember everything. I was almost in tears when I read that last section, it was just so powerful.


This was beautiful, I loved every part of it. You did an amazing job conveying all the emotions throughout it. Absolutely fantastic!


Author's Response: Hiya Claire!

I almost feel like I should apologize for the amount of emotions I put you through...but at the same time, it was kind of my intention. I know it's terrible, but like, it's a moment I've had stuck in my head for the last two years, as I work with people who have dementia, and I know those moments of lucidity are so well sought after but at the same time, like, they're really hard. It's hard to see them know only to go back to not knowing.

I also agree with you. This piece would have lost some of its strength if it had been from a different POV. That's not to say a one-shot from Neville's POV won't show up sometime, but like, it was so much more personal and tragic to see a firsthand moment of knowing and then not. And it's really not easy to write either, as I don't know how that feels to go through something like that, but I think I got enough of the feel for it from the reactions I've seen in reviews.

Also, for the italic quotes (I don't know what to call them either, honestly...never thought about it...), those were actually what started this all. I had a hard day at work, wrote a little thing about it and then put it aside. When I went back to it earlier this year, suddenly I was struck by how it could be a walkthrough of Alice having one of those moments, and it was just what I needed to write.

And I will not speak about the last section. I was almost in tears writing it. It's just so tragic to take that away and then the gum wrapper...yeah.

Thank you so, so much for reading and sharing your thoughts in a review. This is one of the pieces I'm most proud of writing and the fact that it affects other people reading it as much as it affected me writing it...well, it means a lot. Again, thank you for the review! I really appreciate it.


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Review #7, by Claire EvergreenRed Silk: A girl with red hair soft as velvet, glossy as silk

30th August 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

Wow. You packed so much into such a short story, I love it! You said a lot in just 500 words and you didn't really have to say anything at all. The whole part at the beginning about Dom and Vic and how all the boys were falling all over them because of their Veela blood was perfect. It was so realistic how it was the boys fawning over them and how they all thought that it would be one of them that she ended up with. And that whole part about how "love only can blossom inside the hallowed halls of Hogwarts" was spot on. I think every teenager thinks that high school is the only place for them to ever find 'true love.'

Your descriptions are fantastic in this! I mean, I can picture Imogen so clearly and you only had 500 words to do it. Her hair sounds absolutely gorgeous and I want it really badly. Plus, (this might sound bad) you can so clearly tell that Imogen is a Slytherin, without you even having to say it. She just has that cocky attitude that I think both Gryffindors and Slytherins have and you can tell that she is going after what she wants, no doubts about it. I love her as a character already and it's only been 500 words!

Did I mention that I think it's crazy that you did all this in only 500 words?

This is amazing, I'm so glad we swapped so I got to read it! I'll definitely have to check out your other oneshot about them!


Author's Response: Yay, review swapping was so fun! Thanks for the (two!) review(s), Claire!

Hehe, everyone keeps saying how I got so much story into so few words and I'm starting to run out of things to say back, haha. Thanks! I know! This story basically wrote itself - it was based on a dream, actually - and it sort of decided its own perfect length.

And yeah, I definitely remember having the feeling that I had to find true love at age ~sixteen or I'd basically die alone, haha. It's such a fun image to me, all these boys thinking that this is their one shot at getting to be with a part Veela (though Dom and Vic are only what, 1/8 Veela?) as if the Wizarding world isn't super small and they'll keep meeting each other all the time after they quite Hogwarts too. And then, obviously, Dominique isn't interested in any of them, which makes it even sillier!

I think the reason why Imogen is so vivid in this is that it was written for the Banner Challenge, and I had the beautifully recoloured picture of Emma Stone to look at for inspiration. I really love the hair colour that Missatron gave her, it's lovely and pretty much wrote half the story for me. I also got her being a Slytherin from the sly way she's looking over her shoulder, actually, haha. Ah, I hope in the next story I write about these two I'll get more into Imogen's 'cocky attitude' as you write because it's definitely there and a very important part of her character.

(You might have noticed that the description of Dominique herself in Eyes Like Skies isn't as detailed visually at all, but I tell myself that this is because Imogen isn't as visually minded a person as Dom is, and not that it's because I got lazy, haha. : P )

I'm really happy we swapped too, because while I had 'to the end of time' on my reading list I'm super glad I got to experience it now instead of in like a year or whenever I would have finally gotten to it! : P


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Review #8, by Claire EvergreenThe Marauders: Everyone

27th August 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

So I will warn you now, the Marauders is pretty much my favorite era to write and read about, so my headcanons for them are pretty crazy.

That being said, I absolutely love everything about this story. The characterizations are spot on and the whole setting and mood of it all is just perfect. You've done a wonderful job introducing all of the characters to the readers, especially in such a short period when not much (plot wise, that is) happens.

Marlene is amazing. What Bellatrix did to her is awful and horrible, but she managed to get up and push past it without really letting her friends (besides Mary) know how much it probably affected her. She just seems so strong and outgoing, you've done a fantastic job introducing her.

I love love love your Sirius and James. They're two of my favorite fictional characters ever and you've just done such an amazing job with them. I like how they still have that bit of cockiness about them, but it's not their entire personality. You can tell they both really care about their friends and would do pretty much anything for them. The way that James realizes that Lily doesn't like his advances is really refreshing, since most fics seem to jump straight from them hating each other to dating. I also love that you have Sirius as the one who is falling in love. Normally it's the other way around, but I think this way fits more with his character.

You have an amazing set up here, I can't find the words to say everything that I want to! The balance between friends and the war is perfect and I can't wait to see how everything ends up. I'll definitely be back for more! Fantastic job!


Author's Response: Aw thank you for coming to review! I forgot about the BvB Battle!

The Marauders are my babies too. I bought the Primark "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" t shirt yesterday. Best purchase I have ever made, in my opinion!

I've had these head canons floating around for a while but I'd never managed to fit them into anything I was writing at the time. Then I was rewatching Skins and the format of that show is that each episode focuses around one character, but the plot still manages to move forward, so I thought I'd give that a try. The next chapter in the queue actually takes a step back to the point of view of someone who just watches on the sidelines, but still knows most of what's going on (because she knows everything - you'll see who it is soon enough!)

I adore Marlene. I wish there were more fics about her on HPFF. Everyone has a different idea of who she is and I love seeing how different people write her. That being said, Blackinnon is my OTP so I personally don't think I could ever write a fic about Marlene and one of the Prewitt twins, for example. They are still fun to read though!

I really want to delve deeper into what happened between Mary and Mulciber. It's never really outright said in the short scene we see between Lily and Snape after they decide to go their separate ways, but I'm not sure how far I'll take it. I don't want to make it too violent and go against the T&C's. That being said, she's definitely terrified of him. I'm writing her chapter now and I want to explore her a little more.

Gosh I'm really rambling here. I love James & Sirius. I love James and Lily. I want to write scenes in the future about Sirius and Lily becoming best friends because of James. I never really see scenes like that in fics! I think Lily is going to be in denial for a little longer about James, though.

Thank you so much for your review, it's made my day! :)

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Review #9, by Claire EvergreenKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Coffee Stains

24th August 2015:
Hey! Here for our swap and the BvB!

Wizarding politics? Oh my god, I am so down for this. The topic has always confused me and I never knew where to begin with it, so I am so excited to see your take on everything.

Those first three lines killed me. That's such a fantastic introduction to Lorcan and to the tone of the story. I love how much you can figure out about Lorcan's personality just from his actions. You never come out and say 'I am [insert personality trait here]," but there's just so much in there: his clumsiness, his distractability, his singlemindedness. You've managed to pack so much into this one chapter characterization wise, it's fantastic!

You also picked a great place to dump us into the action. There was the perfect balance of giving the reader an idea of what goes on during a normal day and setting the inciting incident for the rest of the story. I really like how you show us what everyone does instead of just telling. I mean, obviously you do say that Lorcan is a speechwriter, but you do it in a very organic way; it doesn't seem forced just for the sake of telling the reader something.

I'm really excited to see how the relationships between everyone play out as the story goes on. You've set up a really interesting plot and given us some really fun characters and I can't wait to see what you do with them!


Author's Response: Hey Claire! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your review, and thank you for all your kind words!

Haha to be honest it confuses me too...I have to make up so much stuff along the way and I wasn't prepared for that when I started! It's way more than I expected. Anyway I hope I live up to your expectations!

Ahh thanks so much for your comments on Lorcan's character! The whole idea of "showing vs telling" is something I'm really working on in my writing right now so I'm really excited that you think it's working on Lorcan! That's something I really struggled with in my earlier writing but it seems like I'm improving. :D And I love the first three lines so I'm glad you thought they were good!

The idea of the action in this story (Shacklebolt resigning) really came out of nowhere when I started writing so I'm happy you like it! It's a pretty intense time to start off the story but hopefully I can keep it up.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story if you get a chance to check it out! :) Thanks again for the review and swap!


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Review #10, by Claire EvergreenActions Speak Louder than Words: Bereft: Scorpius POV

24th August 2015:
Hey, Beth! Here for our swap!

So it's been a while since I've read this story, but I still remember everything that happened and that's definitely a testament to your fantastic writing. It feels like I never took a break!

I really like how you split the flashback up into two chapters. I think it would have been a lot to process all together, but splitting it up like this made it easier to focus on everything. I love seeing more into Scorpius's past and it most definitely changed what I assumed about him before. All of his reactions were extremely realistic and I could completely understand why he reacted the way he did.

I'm not gonna lie, I was trying so hard not to laugh at Mr. Miller's reactions to Harry and Ron. Seeing two full grown wizards (and Aurors at that), one of which was extremely angry at the time, storming through your house must have been more than a bit terrifying, so I can't blame him for freaking out.

Ugh, Rose. She is so wonderful in this! I just love your Rose so much, both in the present day and the flashbacks. She's just such a well-rounded and dynamic character, I love reading about her. The way that she is so determined to comfort Scorpius and let him know that she is there for him is such a contrast to the Rose in the first two chapters and it really drives home how awful whatever happened between her and her friends was. For her to go from this Rose-standing up to her father while sitting half-dressed in the bed of a boy-to the one who had to constantly remind herself that she needed to get dressed really makes me want to continue on and figure out what the heck happened.

This is so amazing, you're killing me with all of the suspense and mystery!! I definitely will not be able to wait as long before coming back again.


Author's Response: Hi there Claire!

Yay! You picked my novel - thanks so much. I know it has a bunch of reviews, but I really don't get tired of people choosing this story because I've put so, so much time into it -so thank you!

Gah!! You're too kind - I'm so glad you remembered what was going on.

I originally put the flashback scene all into one chapter and it seemed a bit long to have all together, so I'm glad you like it split up. And I had such a blast writing Uncle Phil, the Muggle. I think I would act similarly to him if two Wizard Aurors showed up at my house - haha!

Yes! You *totally* get Rose - I'm doing a happy dance right now. She is all of those things you said - and she's got to fight her way back to her real self.

Thanks again Claire - let me know if you ever want to do a swap again!

♥ Beth

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Review #11, by Claire EvergreenThe Sorrows Of The Moon: Catechisms

24th August 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin, here for our swap!

Oh my goodness, this is absolutely amazing! It's such an interesting concept for a story and I love how you wrote it. Not only am I impressed that you were able to write this in second person, it really adds to the whole feel of the story.I could really get into it and imagine everything that Madeline was feeling and seeing. I think your choice of POV really made the story come to life and added to everything that you were going for.

Your descriptions were absolutely fantastic here. Everything was so vivid which, coupled with the second person POV, made it extremely easy to picture everything that Madeline was seeing and feeling. I loved your descriptions of the moon and its effects on Madeline. Without ever saying the word 'werewolf.' you already gave the reader everything that they needed to figure it out, way before you even start to mention the transformation. Which, by the way, was wonderfully written. I loved how you described it and what she said at the end tied everything together so wonderfully.

This is a fantastic one-shot, I love everything about it! Amazing job, as usual :)


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Review #12, by Claire EvergreenThe Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Just Another Marauders Day

24th August 2015:
Hey, here for our swap!

I'm so happy that this is a Marauders story since it's my favorite era.

I do like how you started off the story. It's an interesting and unusual way to introduce character, but I felt like it really fit with the rest of your story. Everything that you wrote about in the mini bios was apparent in the story itself and then you did a really nice job expanding on all of the personality traits with their mannerisms and in the conversations they have. I liked the take that you had on everyone, especially Dorcas. Most of the time I see her as quiet and reserved, more of a background character, but I really like how you have her front and center with her relationship with James and Sirius.

This kind of goes back to how you introduced your characters, but I really like the feel of the story. It kind of reminds me of a TV show, you know? Like with the introduction of each of the characters made me think of a TV intro and then the story itself read like I was watching a TV show. Which is really good, by the way. I love that I was able to picture everything so clearly and really have it play out in my head. You did a really great job of setting the scene and defining each of the individual characters.

This is a great setup for the rest of the story and I'm really interested in seeing how you weave all of the other characters into the plot. Fantastic job, I'll definitely be back soon for another review!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you so much for such a nice review! :)

Marauders is my favourite era too! They just seem so fun :)

I've had pretty mixed reviews on the way I started the story, but I'm glad that you liked it and I'm glad that I was able to keep true to the characters in your view :) I get what you mean about the Dorcas thing and to me she just can'y have been so shy and quiet if Voldemort ends up killing her personally. I think she must have been really outrageous to get his attention and make him want to kill her so badly!

I hadn't thought about t being like a TV show, but I guess you're kind of right! :) I'm glad you think it works as well! I'm so glad you thought it was clear as well :)

Thank you so much for the review! I will most definitely welcome any more you have in the future!

Katie :)

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Review #13, by Claire EvergreenIt's All In Your Head: Chapter One

23rd August 2015:
Hey! Here for the review swap!

I love the setup you have for Lorcan in the beginning of the first chapter. I havenít read too many fics with Lorcan as the main character, but from what Iíve seen of those few, your Lorcan is much different. I like that you didnít make him completely scatterbrained and out there, but you could definitely tell that he is Lunaís kid. The fact that he's so excited about being made Head Boy and is convinced that it's going to make his year better says a lot about his character. Maybe it's just me, but I'd figure that most kids would see it as a huge responsibility before they saw it as a way to improve their year.

So now looking back on the chapter, I finally realize why Rolf was so distant and cold towards Lorcan. At first, I just assumed that it was his personality and that was why Lorcan didn't seem too concerned about it, but now that I know what's going on, it makes a lot more sense. Of course he's going to be upset that his son refuses to accept his daughter for who she wants to be. And it also makes a lot more sense as to why Rolf reacted so strongly to Lorcan calling her Lysander.

I think you set up Lorcan's attitude towards his sister really well. Obviously it's going to be really jarring to suddenly have someone you've considered a guy for over 16 years suddenly come out and say that they're actually a girl and it has to be even more startling when it's your twin. You handled his attitude really well and even though I'd never agree with Lorcan, I found myself believing why he would act the way he did.

This is such an interesting story, I'm definitely going to have to stop by again to keep reading! Thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Hello, Claire!

Thank you so much for your feedback.

I also haven't read too many stories featuring Lorcan, which was actually helpful, as it meant I didn't have to combat preconceived ideas of what he should be like.

To me, Lorcan is definitely an achiever, and definitely emotionally stunted. To me Rolf has a very different (though compatible) personality than Luna, and while you were accurate as to why Rolf felt uncomfortable with Lorcan in is chapter, but your initial impression that he has a distant personality is also accurate. The personalities and relationship of his parents has a definite effect on Lorcan, and I'll explore that directly a bit in later chapters.

I am glad that you can understand where Lorcan is coming from. It is a difficult story to write as I try to create that balance of sympathy for Lorcan while also writing about him doing and saying some unforgivable things. I can only imagine it's a similar struggle as a reader.

I have just returned to writing this story and there will definitely be updates coming soon!

Thank you very much for the swap.


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Review #14, by Claire EvergreenThe Shadows Within: Chapter 4 - Gryffindor's Quidditch Team

4th June 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle :)

That bit at the beginning about the war was perfect. I love how you were able to slip it in there in a very natural way. It would make sense that since Hogwarts doesn't have any sort of counselor that the older prefects would comfort the students if need be. Lily is obviously the perfect choice for that, especially with the way that you've written her here. Her inner monologue about the whole thing was really realistic and true to what I'm sure the majority of the older students were thinking.

I love love love love love the dynamic you have between all of the characters. I think I've mentioned this before, but you do a fantastic job with the interactions between Lily and the Marauders. You can tell that she's most comfortable around Remus and Peter, but she's still not opposed to actually spending time with James and Sirius. Those little parts where she admits that James is actually a really good Quidditch player and mentioning that she'd never seen him nervous before was a nice hint at the relationship that we all know is coming. I've definitely mentioned this before, but I'll say it again, I'm really enjoying how you've made it so that there isn't such a drastic change between Lily disliking James and their relationship.

I'm a huge fan of Quidditch in any story, so I'm really glad that you've put it in, even if it's just a small mention. Having Lily be a fan is a nice touch and one that I haven't seen too often, at least not before she really starts to realize her feelings for James.

Yet another absolutely fantastic chapter, I really need to get back here more often. Can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Thank you so much Claire. ♥ I'm glad that you have made it to Chapter 4! It is nice to know that somebody is reading beyond the first couple chapters of this.

I'm glad you liked the war & Quidditch integration! You have done a brilliant job at both of them in your own story, so it means a lot to hear that from you. And your comments about my characters always make me smile, since you have picked up on everything I was trying to do.

Thanks again for being so encouraging and continuing to read this. =)

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Review #15, by Claire EvergreenBlackness: Fear

3rd June 2015:
Back again for our swap!

YAAASSS A DEAN/SEAMUS STORY!! I absolutely love the two of them so I'm incredibly excited to see your take on it!

I don't know why I didn't expect this to hurt when I read the summary, but you managed to rip my heart out in the first few paragraphs. I got extremely scared that Seamus had actually died in that accident and I was going to be gone at that point. I love how you wrote the beginning. The way you formatted everything really lent itself to adding suspense, especially the first little bit in Seamus's POV.

Speaking of POV, I love how you split everything up between the two boys. I think you picked perfect places to switch that really highlighted the relationship between the two of them. You can tell that Dean truly does care about him, no matter what may happen and the panic at the beginning and end of the story really makes that clear.

I love the dynamic you have between the two of them. I have read my fair share of Dean/Seamus fics from multiple authors and I love yours just as much as the others. Even though it wasn't the fuff I normally read, this was still an absolutely fantastic story that I'm so glad I got the chance to read. I hope you do well in the challenge, you definitely deserve it with this entry!


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Review #16, by Claire EvergreenIsabella: A Midnight Surprise

3rd June 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! Here for the swap :)

When I saw that you had another chapter up, I got so excited! There's only been one chapter so far, but I already love the characters and this is such a new and fun take on the magical world.

I would definitely not be as calm as Isabella was if someone broke down the door to my house and asked to speak to me. But Isabella seems like the kind of person who goes with the flow and doesn't let much bother her. Her reactions to everything seem (at least to me) perfectly in line with what a thirteen year old would do, especially that part at the end where she wanted to see DoŮa Marisol perform magic.

Her father's backstory had me almost in tears. That's such an awful thing to have happen to someone at such a young age. I don't blame him one bit for abandoning the magical world after that. It was probably a relief to him that his children never showed any signs of magic. You wrote his reaction wonderfully and I could feel how much it pained him to have Isabella decide to go to the school.

I know I've said this about a hundred times already, but seeing the magical world from a non-European perspective is just so interesting. I love all of the differences that you've thrown in so far and I cannot wait to see what you do with the school itself! I love this story already and can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Hey Claire!

I'm so happy to hear that you are enjoying Isabella's story so far. I hope to make it quite different from JKR's magic world.

Isabella is pretty mellow and I think she has a feeling that something is coming before this happens. I'm glad you thought she matched a 13 year old.

Her father's story is really tragic and it shapes a lot of the story. I don't want to give too much away, but there will be more explanation about why the children never showed any signs of magic.

Yay! I was nervous about making a magic world so drastically different, so I'm really happy that you like it!


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Review #17, by Claire EvergreenIsabella: Thirteen Candles

22nd May 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! Here for our swap :) Sorry it took me so long to get to this, my summer turned out to be much busier than I originally anticipated.

I love the setting in this! It sounds absolutely gorgeous, I wish I could see it in real life. Of course, the wonderful descriptions that you give re more than enough to paint a picture of everything that Isabella sees and hears and smells around her. I love that you use smell so much in this! I know that we mainly use our sight, but I feel like smell is a really underused and you did a fantastic job of including it.

Isabella is going to be a really interesting narrator. You did a great job of making her sound like she'a 13, which is not easy. She has the really innocent air about her like a lot of kids have when they're that young, like when she got distracted by her skirt or her fascination with her mother's mole. I love that you put little details like that in there, it really makes her seem real.

Oh that ending! This is a perfect setup for the rest of the story! It's going to be so interesting seeing wizardry outside of Europe, especially since you've already thrown in a few differences. I'm really glad that you chose to write about Isabella and her story!

Fantastic job, I can't wait to read more!


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Review #18, by Claire EvergreenAll that Glitters : September 1979: Pieces

17th May 2015:
I am so incredibly sorry that this took so long. Everything has just been hectic this past week and I have had zero time to myself.

This story is absolutely incredible. I've never read anything like it before and I have read my fair share of Marauders fics. You've painted extremely vivid pictures of the settings in this, whether it be back at Hogwarts or Knockturn Alley. You have a fantastic set up in these first three chapters, all of which have me wanting to read more!

The first chapter sets up the whole story especially well. There is a lot of information that the reader does not have when reading it and it doesn't answer very many questions, but that's one of the best ways to start off a story like this one. You have the perfect balance between hardly any information and just enough and it definitely made me want to keep reading more. Even if we hadn't agreed to swap for three chapters, I would have kept reading anyways!

I saw in your author's note at the beginning of chapter two that you originally didn't have the story set up with the flashbacks of sorts and I have to say, I love that you've included them! It's a brilliant way to introduce Eleanor to the readers and give her a backstory, possibly making what she does in the future (1979) story line more understandable.

Eleanor in the flashback was wonderful. I already love her character from when she was at Hogwarts and I'm so excited to get to see more of her back then. Plus, she's a Hufflepuff, so that already makes her even better. Even though she is a Puff, she definitely doesn't seem like she fits the usual stereotype, which is fantastic. I think she comes across as sort of the average Joe, but there is something else underneath of that that makes her stand out. I mean, anyone that can hold their own against Sirius is okay in my books.

Speaking of Sirius, I really loved how you wrote him and Peter in chapter two. Sirius was almost exactly as I imagined him. He has that cocky, arrogant attitude that is almost universally accepted by everyone, but he also has that joking and carefree air about him that I love. Peter was perfect as well! So many people ignore him in their fics and forget that he was actually a part of the Marauders. I know I have trouble trying to figure out how to accurately put him into my story, so I'm extremely jealous that you have been able to do it so easily!

I did notice one typo in the third chapter: The look on my fave must have been formidable. - I think it's supposed to be face.

I'm so excited to figure out what caused such a dramatic change between '76 and '79. There's a lot in '76 that makes me want to know more. Like, why was she avoiding everyone from her House? What made her say this- Not more from a house that had proved they werenít as loyal and steadfast as everyone thought we were.- about her Housemates? What's going to happen between her and Sirius that caused that reaction at the end of chapter three?

This story is so amazing! I'm adding it to my favorites so I can keep up with it! Thank you so much for doing this swap!


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Review #19, by Claire EvergreenThe Shadows Within: Chapter 3 - Sirius's Summer

12th May 2015:
Hey! Back again for another review swap :) (because I just can't seem to stay away!)

I love that you've included a lot about classes here. A lot of fics tend to just gloss over them in favor of other story lines, but I think that takes a lot away from the story. After all, they do go to a school, so a large portion of their time is spent in classes and interacting with each other that way. Even just the little snipets that you give us at the beginning are perfect to set the scene and remind readers that, first and foremost, these are still kids who go to school and have normal teenage problems.

I also love how you write the relationship between Lily and the Marauders, especially wth James. It's the perfect balance of vague dislike and "I guess we're actually friends" that a lot of people like to skip over in favor of shoving them together almost instantly. There really is a bit of mutual respect there under both of their attitudes, which is absolutely fantastic. As Lily spends more time with James, I can totally picture them ending up together and not just because I know that it has to happen.

Aw, Sirius baby :'( The part about his brother made me so sad because I always imagined that they at least got along a little bit given what we know his brother ends up doing, but this way makes a lot of sense as well, even if it did break my heart a little bit. You nailed Sirius's reaction to Lily's comment perfectly. He always seemed like the person who would hide stuff behind a carefree attitude, but would be quick to drop it when he really felt strongly about something.

Another wonderful chapter, as always. I can't wait to read more, especially since I'm less than 24 hours away from summer!


Author's Response: I can't seem to stay away from your story either, so I guess that makes these numerous swaps good for both of us. =)

I definitely agree about classes. Just because it isn't a OWL or NEWT year doesn't mean that they won't be spending time in classes or studying. And, let's be honest, I had quite a few chats and gossiping sessions with my friends in high school classes... and we were the enriched kids!

Yes to striking a balance in their relationship. I mean, if Lily was yelling all those things at James in June of 1976 but ended up dating him (most likely) in late 1977 there would have had to have been a fairly steady, long lasting change. I think I'm slowly but surely showing the shift in that direction, although there will be bumps along the way.

And yes to Sirius. :( I mean, in a companion thing I'm working on you do see that he and Regulus were not always like this. I imagine the breaking point was very rough on both of them though, so at least for a while he would be very hurt by it.

I'm looking forward to seeing you around more (and seeing you writing more :P) once summer starts! Thanks for the lovely review again. =)

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Review #20, by Claire EvergreenBeat It: Beat It

11th May 2015:
Hey! Here for our swap!

So ever since I read one fic with Roxanne as a main character, I have been in love with her and I already love your version of her! I love that you've thrown in more traditional "girly" things with a strong Beater. It's becoming much less common now to make the two mutually exclusive, but I still feel like I should point it out. Either way, I still love Roxanne. She seems like the kind of person who wouldn't take crap from anyone, but still has a softer side that will probably come out at some point.

Violet is fantastic. No matter who you are, you always need a friend like her. I'm already excited to see what happens with her as the story goes on. At least from this, she seems like she'll be a great friend to Roxanne and I already am in love with her (being a Seeker does help a bit too :P)

Not gonna lie, I was getting a bit of a Romeo and Juliet vibe from Roxanne and Jason, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't care how attractive his body is, his personality absolutely sucks. He seems like the typical jerk whose Qudditch skills have gone to his head and Roxanne should most certainly run for the hills and never go near that even if they're the last two people on earth...yeah, I really don't like him, can you tell? :P

I'm all about a story about Qudditch with Roxanne as the main character, so you can be sure that I will be back!


Author's Response: Hey Claire!

I am so sorry about how late I am with responding to this, I have no excuses at all!

Aww yay! I am so glad that you love my version of her. Roxanne is a very girlie girl in my opinion, but is still an awesome Beater who shouldn't be trifled with! I'm glad that you like that :D Oh no, she wouldn't take crap from anyone.

Oh yes, we all need friends like Violet. Definitely.

Romeo and Juliet is strong with those two, even though Roxanne is fighting it, and you're right, his personality sucks haha he's going to get better, I swear :D

Thank you so much! I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story!

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Review #21, by Claire EvergreenSummer Herbology: [I.]

10th May 2015:
Hey, Julie! I'm so excited to read this since I saw at least a little bit of the process during camp :)

Oh. My. Goodness. Is this going to be a person A falls in love with person B but they're best friends so person A just doesn't say anything until person B eventually finds out and everything explodes kind of fic? Because if so, I am 100%, without a doubt here for this! This is pretty much one of my favorite cliches of all time (and one that I use much too often, but that's beside the point). I'm so excited for all of this to happen now!

You have me completely sold on Rhys. He is just so adorable and I know I'm going to love him. Well, I already do, but anyways. His snark is fantastic and I love that he's a wallflower Hufflepuff because they need so much more recognition. He is such a teenager, which is fantastic because I can completely relate to him about everything. The schoolwork, the arguments with the parental figure, the crush on someone that is pretty much off limits, everything. He is going to be such a fun person to get the story from and I can't wait to see his relationship with Ben as everything progresses.

Oh, my goodness, Molly!!! I freaking love her already. The wit and the banter and the fact that she is a perfect compliment to Rhys. I am extremely guilty of always shoving Molly into the background in my fics and then I don't think I've ever read anything with her as a major character, so that's something else that I'm super excited to read about! I'm really excited to see the fallout from her telling Payton about her feelings and if that might ever end up being something...

This is fantastic! I mean, I always love your writing, but it's still always fun to see how you write everything out and bring different characters to life! Can't wait for you to update with more chapters!


Author's Response: HEY!

Hehe, you got to see all my whining and now it's finally here!

YEAH IT IS, EXPLOSIONS AND ALL. Kind of. There might be plant accidents instead of explosions. I love the cliche too :D Best friends tropes are sooo fun.

Ah, yay, I'm glad you like Rhys! He's a little wallflower, but I don't think I could write a character that isn't at least a little bit sarcastic. I definitely wanted to make him a 'typical' teenager, and the scene in the car where he's sighing and exaggerating everything going on I felt fit that.

I LOVE MOLLY. I'm glad you love her already. She's so fun to write. And, SAME. I started a fic years ago with Lucy as a main character and so now I had to give Molly her chance to shine.

And Molly/Payton, we'll have to see...

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it, and a;lkdjf that's such a nice compliment. Thank you thank you!


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Review #22, by Claire EvergreenMeals With Muggles : Burgers And Chips

10th May 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin, here for our swap!

Awww, this is so cute! I've always imagined that Dudley ended up marrying a witch, but I never thought it could be like this! And Dudlietta is the best ship name.

I love the way that you wrote Dudley, I can totally seem him being like this after they left. He does seem like he's grown up a lot from the boy who bullied Harry just because he could. The fact that he works for Grunnings is both sad and understandable. Dudley always seemed like the guy who was going to grow up to be average, the complete opposite of his cousin. It makes sense that he would work for the same company as his father, but it also makes me sad because I at least felt like he had the potential to be much more, even if he never acted on it. And then his reaction when he found out that Marietta was a witch was perfectly spot on and I love the details that you've put in here.

Marietta is wonderful. I honestly hadn't even considered what effect being labeled a sneak was after her sixth year, but I love what you did with it. Given Hermione's talent, it wouldn't be surprising if it did take that much effort to finally remove the pimples from her face. After an ordeal like that, I definitely wouldn't blame her for getting out of the wizarding world as soon as she possibly could.

From what you've written here, she and Dudley seem like they woudl be an absolutely adorable couple! Maybe you might even be persuaded to write more of them? ...she says hopefuly

Fantastic story and thanks for doing the swap!


Author's Response: Hi Claire,

Dudlietta is the best ship name ever!! I agree. You can thank Mallory for that one.

That is the perfect way to describe it. Dudley is just average and safe. There's nothing particularly special about him aside from who he grew up with. I think that's what Marietta likes so much about him. There's nothing crazy to surprise her.

Yeah. I think Marietta's experiences are often overlooked. We're angry with her in cannon, so we feel her punishment is just, but if you wiki her story, she went for years with the word Sneak etched across her face. I believe that would be very damaging.

I may write a continuation to Dudlietta someday, but as of now I have no immediate plans.

Thanks so much for the swap and for all of your nice words.


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Review #23, by Claire EvergreenFounders Four: Pillars of the Ages: Chapter one: The Beginning

9th May 2015:
Hey! Here for our swap :)

So I rarely...okay, never read Founders fics, but I'm really glad that I picked this one!

Now, normally, I would say the whole fairy tale like thing, but I think that it really works well for a Founders era fic and you pull it off really well. It never interrupts the story and the little bits where you pull back and address the reader as the narrator make me feel like I'm reading an adventure/fairy tale.

As for the characters themselves, I love them. We only got a brief glimpse of Salazar, but I can totally see him growing up into the kind of person who would hide a giant monster in a school for children and then peace out before telling any of the others about it. His mother's comment about him being like his father "back when" definitely makes me interested in what his dad is like and if it's anything like the Salazar the books talk about.

Godric is absolutely spot on. He is so much like the Gryffindor House we know and live. He's impulsive and out spoken and definitely brave if what he thinks Ingvar is like is true. He seems like the type of guy who would buy a round for the whole bar one minute and then pick a fight the next. He's so much like yoru typical action hero, it's fantastic! You've done a fantastic job with him!

I'm so glad that I got to read this story! Thanks again for doing the swap, I can't wait to read your review!


Author's Response: Thanks Claire! I'm so happy you enjoyed it, which makes me feel even worse about chapter three taking so long!

Although, I wonder why you say that about Salazar, as no one else has said so until now, and I'm curious. It seems everyone is seeing different things in that short clip from his character. It's actually really interesting how that's turning out.

I agree about Godric in some traits, but he won't be nearly as predictable as you may think. Just let that sink in and wonder what I mean by that. As I'm the one writing, there are quite a few things I can say you're yet to see.

Anyway, ominous note aside, thanks for the review!

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Review #24, by Claire EvergreenActions Speak Louder than Words: Blown Away: Scorpius POV

9th May 2015:
Hey Beth! Here for the swap!

Ah, I'm so excited that we get a peek into Scorpius's mind (which, you know, I should have guessed by the chapter titles, but we'll ignore that haha). It's going to be so cool seeing multiple sides of the story as it progresses.

Alright, so I'm going to hold off on assuming some of the things that I said in my last review because we definitely get a different idea of Scorpius here. Even in the flashback, there's still that little but if a temper that gives me a weird feeling about what happened between him and Rose, but he seems much more vulnerable here. I have no idea if I'm correct or not, but I'm 99% sure that Scorpius is not exactly the good guy in this, but it was really nice to look into his mind.

Oh my goodness! That whole thing with his parents was absolutely awful! Now I want to know why that happened and why it seemed like his mother knew about it beforehand.

I can see why everyone loves this story so much! I'm hooked! Thanks for agreeing to do the swap with me!


Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah! You got to the next chapter where some of Scorpius's past is revealed. I actually tried to write the story from only one person's POV, but it just didn't work.

Hmmm... I can see why you might think that about Scorpius, but I think if you read on, you'll see that he's pretty much so deeply in love with Rose, it's all he thinks about.

Gah - you pick up on ALL THE DETAILS - I'm not gonna say too much about what Astoria did or didn't know.

Thanks for doing a swap! We'll have to do one again some time!

♥ Beth

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Review #25, by Claire EvergreenActions Speak Louder than Words: Bent: Rose POV

9th May 2015:
Hey, Beth! Finally here for our swap!

I love the way that you introduce characters. You never have to outright say "oh, he likes to party" or "she is really outspoken." Everything is shown and nothing is straight out told to us. Like, we get the idea that Fred is more than likely a womanizer and Dom is extremely outspoken and can be over the top. I love reading stories that allow us to get to know the characters as we read instead of an info dump at the beginning.

Speaking of characterization, Scorpius kinda creeps the daylights out of me. Originally, I thought it was kind of sweet how he went over to Rose and they started to talk, but when I went back, it seemed like she was kind of on edge around him until she had a few drinks. Don't get me wrong, he seemed to at least care about her a little bit, but it seemed extremely protective and the line He was often angry. definitely does not have a very positive connotation. It also makes me wonder if there was a connection between that and when Rose was attacked...

With the attack, you also did a wonderful job conveying her helplessness both during and after, I think it was interesting to note how much she hated feeling helpless, which led me to believe that she wasn't always like that. I mean, obviously she has changed after whatever happened to her, but her reactions definitely made it seem like she didn't like who she has become.

I love this story so far! I can't wait to read some more!


Author's Response: Hi there Claire!

I'm so sorry that I've taken forever to respond to this! Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm glad that the character descriptions felt natural to you. I really do work hard on that.

Oh! I really didn't intend for Scorpius to be creepy. His anger is never directed at Rose - he's just been dealing with his own demons for the past few years - that comes up in the next couple of chapters. Both he and Rose have been through some traumatic personal events and I wanted his character to deal with it differently than hers. His pain and frustration manifests in anger - mostly because he feels so alone in the world (and like I said, that comes up in the next few chapters).

I'm so glad that you picked up on the fact that Rose wasn't always the way she is right now. I was worried that that didn't come off in this chapter.

Thanks for the review!

♥ Beth

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