Reading Reviews From Member: Claire Evergreen
  
94 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Claire EvergreenBetween Takes: Episode 6: Totally Typical Teenager Date

25th May 2016:
JJJUUULLLIIIEEE

Why do you do this to me?? I'm gone, I'm actually dead now. This is me ghost reviewing from the beyond.

I have no clue why a boring (I say this in a nice way, not as a comment on your writing because you know I love it), normal, everyday, #netflixandchill date turns me into a puddle, but it does and I loved every second of it. You write such relatable characters and I love reading about them. Shoving clothes into the bathroom so they disappear? Definitely done that before, not gonna lie.

You continue to amaze me with your inclusion of all the social media and 'Muggle' references. I can't even imagine hitting a hundred day streak, that takes some dedication and skill that I do not have. Seriously, pllleeeaaassseee think of turning this into an OF because I would buy it so quickly.

Oh my god, they are so...freaking...cute. I love all of your romances and fluff pieces, but I think this one is quickly becoming my favorite (but honestly, how could you even pick a favorite, but I digress). Also knowing your stories, I'm sure there's some sort of twist or something coming that I'm not prepared for, so I'm just going to bask in the glory that is Scorbus for the time being.

Also, I see that Teen Wolf reference and I wholeheartedly approve and don't know why I expected anything different :P

Loved it as usual and I'm dying for more so you have no choice but to update soon, got it?

Claire

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Review #2, by Claire EvergreenBetween Takes: Episode 5: ;)

7th April 2016:
OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FLIPPING ADORABLE I COULD DIE! WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TEASE ME LIKE THIS?

Okay, anyway...I'm going to go back and review all the other chapters eventually, but I have to do this one right now because (I don't know if you could tell) it was the most adorable thing ever and I have fallen in love with one of your stories yet again. It's becoming a real problem. I mean, a good problem obviously, but a problem nonetheless.

I think I'm going to need to start going to a "Supporting Characters Anonymous" meeting or something because Susie Nott is my new favorite character. Like seriously. I might just have to fight Rose for her (square up, Rose, I'm coming for you). She's just amazing and such a great friend to Scorpius.

Speaking of Scorpius. What the heck dude (this sounds a lot better with non-12+ words, but ya know). He pretends to be all serious and professional but he is the biggest dork I have ever seen in my life. Seriously. Stop being so adorable and cute. I'm actually going to die when he and Albus go on their date. It's going to be too much for me to handle. Also, whY ARE YOU MAKING ME WAIT TO KNOW WHAT THEIR DATE IS LIKE? JULIE WHY GOTTA BE SO CRUEL?

Alright, this was amazing as usual. I love how you've used all the "Muggle" things that we're so used to in this. Seriously, you could probably get away with making this an OF eventually if you change a few names around. Think on it because if it was ever published for real I'd buy it in a heartbeat :)

Claire

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Review #3, by Claire EvergreenMaking the Reserves: Making First String

3rd April 2016:
*hides behind couch* Okay, so I know that we agreed to swap ages ago (weeks at least, I have no clue anymore), but I am just horrifically bad at getting anything done, so I am just now getting here and I am so so so so so sorry that it's taken so long.

Anyway, you already know that I love this story completely and there's very little that's going to persuade me otherwise, but I'll say it again. I absolutely love the premise you have set up for this story. Seeing how all of these insanely talented and competitive kids interact within the school is going to be so cool!

Okay, so this part is going to get really rambly, but bear with me. I think you've absolutely nailed the way each person on the team interacts with each other. I do IHSA, which is horseback riding in college, and it's pretty similar to what you have set up here. We're a team, but we compete as individuals to get our points, which is a lot like the Oakshaft kids playing on a team, but essentially competing for spots on professional teams. You nailed the tensions between teammates beautifully. I know that we all try to support each other, but there are times when I just really wanted to show or my friend beat me by one placing and knocked me out of year end awards. I obviously supported them, but there was that little bit of me that was upset. You've really set that up well and I can't wait to see where you take it!

Lo, you have me torn. I had already pegged Cedric as the one that I'm going to fall in love with and then you have to go and introduce Reid? Come on, now, don't do this to me. But seriously, you have the best characterizations ever. This is such a large ensemble cast, but you pull it off beautifully. Everyone is so fleshed out already. There's no way that I would already be struggling with who I love more or who to ship Molly with (I think I'm going to stick with Cedric/Molly, but I wouldn't be opposed to a little Reid/Molly first :P) if your writing wasn't as fantastic as it was.

This is so good, Lo! I can't wait to check out the edited chapters as soon as I get the time :)

Claire

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Review #4, by Claire EvergreenIcarus: Prologue

3rd April 2016:
Hey, Kristin! I'm here for our swap :)

Alright, if I was skeptical of this story at first, that all died the minute that I read the opening paragraphs. I'm already so intrigued by what's going to happen later on. Obviously there's some sort of time travel element? And Lily screws everything up? OH, wait, does she try to stop her grandparents from dying? Because that would be super rad and really fun to read.

Anyway, I digress. I love Lily in this. From the very little that I've read with her in it, she's not generally the one without a job or who sits around all day with nothing to do, but it works really well with this. I also love her narrative voice. All the little side comments about their names were absolutely perfect. Those Potter children really do have some unfortunate names, don't they? This is just a really fantastic introduction to the main character :)

I'm honestly so excited to see what exactly the plot of this is going to be. There are hints, of course, but I'm already so invested, it's a bit ridiculous. It definitely has to do with the War though, right? Because you picked May 2nd as the date? Am I right?

Alright, I'm going to stop badgering (hehe) you and finish this so I can go read the rest of it as soon as I have time. Amazing as always, Kristin!

Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire!!

I think your reaction was probably pretty typical of what people think when they see this story. I mean, it's an AU sci-fi where I've changed a lot of things, so I think it's natural to have some doubt, haha. Lily definitely screws something up, but I won't say more about it here because spoilers. But yay, I'm glad you're intrigued about the story!

This was my first foray into next gen and so I was kind of starting from scratch with what I thought the next gen characters were like. There's honestly not a whole lot about Lily II as a main character, at least compared to the number of next gens about Rose or OC's. I'm really glad you like the kind of lifestyle I've written for her, and her narrative voice. She may be the daughter of a famous person, but she's also a girl in her early twenties trying to figure out how to adult, and is cynical about it - like many other people her age. Oh man, the names. Sometimes this fic is actually just a platform for me to put in my opinion about things, and that's very much the case with the names :P

I'm so excited that you're excited about this! :P Do you want me to tell if you are right or not? I'm going to assume that was a rhetorical question. But I guess it'll be answered soon enough anyway!

Wah THANK YOU ♥ thanks so much for the swap and for this absolutely lovely review!


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Review #5, by Claire EvergreenBetween Takes: Episode 2: Mint Chocolate Chip

3rd April 2016:
So I am actually The Worst because I read this when you first published it and I never reviewed, but it's okay because I'm here now and can tell you how much I love it.

Al. Honey. Please get your crap together because you are already stressing me out. How hard is it to at least leave the shirt in your room. And who the heck leaves ice cream in the bathroom?

But I digress. As much as he gives me anxiety, I already love Al. Do I even need to tell you that I love your characters anymore? I feel like it's a given at this point. But anyway, I know this is an AU, but his personality is already so much different from how I normally see him portrayed in fics (my own included). Idk, he's always just seemed to come across as more 'proper' to me, but I love that he's actually a slob. Really makes him feel like a teenage boy, ya know?

Rosie, sweetie. Tone it back like twenty notches. I love you, but my god do you come off strong. She's the perfect complement to Al, though, and oh my god, her interactions with Susie are killing me.

By the way, you were right, I love Susie even more. "He'll have mint chocolate chip because he's the most boring person on earth." Yasss, get him Susie. And I'm onto you, Susie. No one cares that much about ice cream flavors. If she and Rose don't at least have a little thing over the course of the story, I'm going to be so sad because they'd be hella cute.

Also, he's totally into Al, I can tell. It's going to happen. It has to happen. Possibly at the lighthouse. Possibly during a midnight stroll after Rose and Susie abandon them. Julie, please let have this one. For the sake of my poor shipper heart.

Okay, I'm going to stop the insane rambling before I really embarrass myself. tl;dr: I love this story, I love these characters, and I love you :D

Claire

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Review #6, by Claire EvergreenQuitting Quidditch: Quitting Quidditch

3rd April 2016:
Hey! Here for our swap :)

So I haven't read the story that these characters are originally from, but I love that this can stand on its own as well as it does. I'm going to admit that I'm not usually one for stories that break canon, but I really really like this one. It's just such an adorable one-shot. I love the set up and the characters are really well done.

To me, this reads as almost like a character study? In a good way, of course. I love that with this we get to really get inside who Lily is as a person. She cares extremely deeply for her sister and her family as a whole, so much so that she is willing to put her own dreams on the back burner just so her sister could live hers. It's amazingly selfless for someone her age, but you wrote it really well.

I love her friends and her girlfriend as well. I know that Lily's personality lends itself to putting others first, but they're right to try to talk her into doing what she loves. It's not fair to her or her sister if she's quitting just so Pandora gets spot on the team. I'm really glad that they were able to get her to see that she wants the spot as badly as her sister and she should go for it.

This is a really great one-shot, I'm so glad that I got to read it! Thank for the swap!

Claire

Author's Response: Thanks for the nice review. Thanks so much for the comments on the set-up and characterization. Yeah, I agree it's mostly a character study rather than a complete short story. It came into my head fully formed one night after finishing 'Waxing' and 'Waning' and kind of took on a life of its own.

I hadn't expected Lily to have a girlfriend, Justine just came to life some on the page. She's the one who tries to keep it all together, so I'm glad you could get that from her even though you haven't read the other two stories. Lily is selfless, truly.

It took the talk from her friend to realize that the Hufflepuff way of fair play didn't mean to let someone else win. They'll win if they're good enough, if not then you deserved it. That was the hard lesson that Lily had to learn.

Thanks again for the review swap, and I really enjoyed your Scoral, too!


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Review #7, by Claire EvergreenHaunting Shadows: Shadows

2nd April 2016:
Hey, Jill! I'm so so so so so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to our swap, real life has just been hectic.

So I know that we agreed to a one chapter swap, but I am so hooked by this that I had to keep on reading. Your characters are so spot on, I love all of them. Speaking from experience, trying to write Fred and George is incredibly intimidating, but you pull it off amazingly. I really felt like I was reading the exact characters JK wrote about in her books. Seriously impressive.

You have such compelling characters here. From the little glimpses that we've seen of Tommy, he's already such a real character. I can see that he really does care about his sister in his own way and I love all of his little quirks as well s his apparent issues with the twins. I also love love love Cate. She's such an interesting and intriguing character with her own idiosyncrasies. While she may not be the most likable character, she certainly is a fantastic choice for an MC and PoV character. She has such a strong voice that really comes across on the page, it's wonderful!

I'm also so here for the plot you've set up. I have so many questions, but not in a bad way. I genuinely want to keep reading so I can learn more. What happened to Chris? Why did Cate and Rob have a big fallout? Why aren't Cate and Tommy closer? What're the twins' roles in all of this? You have me completely hooked, I can't wait to come back when you've updated :)

Thanks again for the swap!

Claire

Author's Response: Hi, Claire! No worries on the lateness!!

Ah, thank you so much for saying that about Fred and George! I really struggle with writing humor - especially for the Weasley twins - and am always afraid that it won't be as funny to other people. So thank you, that really means a lot!

And yes, Tommy does care about his sister, but as you said, in his own way - they just have a lot of things to deal with.

All fabulous questions! They will be revealed in due time, if I can get my stuff together long enough to write more of this for you all :)

Thank you again for your lovely review!

~Jill


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Review #8, by Claire EvergreenDormitory 2.6A: ONE: Melting Ice Queens

29th March 2016:
Hey, Plums! I'm here for the Diadem BvB Battle! I don't think I've ever

I'm just going to start out by saying that I love love love stories that take House stereotypes and smash them into the ground. Normally, I try to do it with Ravenclaws (what a shocker), but I love seeing Puffs that aren't all sunshine and rainbows and good vibes. As I get older, I realize more and more that Hufflepuff is actually the House with the most open interpretation of their traits and I think you've done a fantastic job with showing how varied they can all be while still be Hufflepuffs.

Alright, so I'm going to attempt to talk about each of the girls because I'm in love with all of your characters already and they remind me so much of all my old high school friends.

So Dahlia is absolutely hilarious. I love that we open with one of her outbursts and then you pull back and explain that it's actually a common occurrence in the Puff's day to day lives. She seems like the kind of friend that a Puff like Alice would benefit from and click with. I can't wait to see more of her in later chapters and see what mischief she gets into.

I didn't get as much of a sense of Nala as the others, but she's still a really good character. I love that she's described as sweet and dreamy, but also is labeled the Hufflepuff (not a 12+ word) at the same time. It says a lot about her that she's known for being sweet, but that's not all she is. And the little bit of self-deprecating comments and how that wasn't normal for her also makes me interested in where her storyline is going to take her.

Cass intrigues me so much. She obviously isn't afraid of flaunting her sexuality if the comments from her friends are anything to judge by, but I feel like there's going to be a lot with her later on in the story. I love the bit about the rest of her family being in Slytherin. At least from my experience, if people want an opposite to Slytherin, they use Gryffindor, but I think that Hufflepuff works so much better. I can't wait to see how that little look from the card game plays into the rest of the narrative.

Alice is so incredibly sweet. She's exactly what Hufflepuffs are 'supposed' to be, but that doesn't make her any less of a dynamic character. The fact that she can keep up with the other five who most definitely don't fit into stereotypes. I can't wait to see her journey throughout the story, especially since I feel like hers is going to be so different from the others. She seems like the glue that holds everyone together and who also have the most to lose if splits started appearing in the group.

Alright, so I love all of them, but Reagan is my favorite, probably because she reminds me the most of myself. She's the perfect complement to Nova and I can tell why she's closest to Reagan out of all the others. I see her as being the calm and steady one of the group, kinda like the one that is always there to bring them all back to earth. I feel like she's going to have a tough job as the story progresses having to balance all of the different personalities in the group. I love her already!

Nova aka "The Ice Queen"- alright, Imma have to say that's false. She may put out a tough, jerkish exterior, but she is honestly the sweetest and most adorable character you have in your line up, including Alice. I love that she has such a distinct personality that are such opposites. It's so true that the face we put on in public is not always the same one that we use in private or with our friends. She's the perfect one for a POV character, just because I love how she fits into Hufflepuff the best.

Okay, so I don't have much more room, but I love this set up. You drop us right into the action, which is my favorite way to start a story. It gives us a great idea of the normal lives of the characters while also hinting at "Why these characters now?" I love the little bit of something that pops up at the end that shows where the rest of the story is going.

Fantastic job, I'll definitely be back for more!

Claire

Author's Response: Hey!

So sorry it took me so long to answer this review - I've been saving the longer ones till the end and this was an amazingly long review :)

I feel you when it comes to stories that break house stereotypes. There's something so satisfying about creating characters that embody the house traits, but aren't what someone instantly thinks of when they think of that house. I tried it with Ravenclaws once too (the fic was horribly written, though I did adore the characters), but there's something so great about doing it with Hufflepuffs. They're usually the forgotten house, even though they're the least specific with their requirements, which is why I think people like Dahlia would fit in well.

I love writing Dahlia purely because she has literally no filter or shame. She's one of those characters that writes herself tbh so I can put her into just about any situation, usually resulting in a dozen swear words and loud declarations of something or the other. Plus, she always starts off chapters with a bang. I liked pairing her as best friends with Alice since they're almost polar opposites and it's interesting to see how they manage to not clash. In some ways, she really is the glue that holds them together - she's a lot more vocal about her love for them and knows how to sweet talk all of them into making up in the unlikely event of an argument.

Yeah, Nala's not as present as the other characters for reasons that will be revealed in CH6, but she actually plays a big part in the fic. Even though Alice is labelled as Hufflepuff's sweetheart, Nala is the sweeter one, but impossibly naive too which isn't the best combination with her insecurity.

You're right again with Cass! She's another big player in the fic and her development will reveal a more vulnerable side to her. She's another fun character to write since she really isn't afraid of flaunting her sexuality, as you said, which is sort of the complete opposite to her friends. It usually results in a lot of shocked gasps from Alice haha. Yeah, I can understand why people would oppose Slytherin with a Gryffindor, but I figured that there'd be no 'greater shame' to Slytherins then having a Puff since they're the 'dim' ones and Slytherins are cunning. Of course, Cass is a living example of how wrong that is.

Reagan's your favourite? That's actually so great to hear because I was so worried that she would get drowned out by more dominating characters like Dahlia. I wasn't sure whether people would see why Nova classes Reagan out of all of them as her best friend, but it's partly because she knows how far to push Nova whereas the others might not understand that they're pushing the boundaries. She just understands her and doesn't interfere with her - or any of them - unless needs be.

The Ice Queen is the biggest lie in the story and I love that it's her reputation simply because she has a killer natural expression. Nova just doesn't care about people she has no need to care about, but is so loyal and loving of the ones she does. Since she's an introvert, people tend to assume she's just not.

Thank you for the wonderful review! I'm so glad that you like the premise of the story and hope you stick around :)

Plums xo


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Review #9, by Claire EvergreenTessellate: The Sleuthing

21st March 2016:
Hey, J! Here (incredibly late) for our swap! I'm so sorry it took so long to get to this, real life got a lot more hectic than I thought it was going to.

So I raved about Lucy last chapter, so now I get a chance to get into Alexandria :) I can already tell that she's such a fantastic complement to Lucy. She's no where near as analytical as the Ravenclaw, but she's just as adventurous, which I'm so interested to see more of her personality. We didn't get much of her last chapter since it was only Lucy's brief analysis of her, but she seems really cool and very much like a Gryffindor. Her quip to Daisy was perfect.

The interactions between her and Lucy this chapter were spot on. Both of their personalities really stood out, but they fit together so well. I like how Alexandria falls in behind Lucy so easily, but she still remains in charge of her actions. She has such a different way of operating than Lucy, but their two styles still fit well. I like that Lucy asked for her opinion on the two intruders. To me, that goes back to your brilliant characterization of Lucy last chapter, where you showed that she is quite cocky, but only when she knows she can back it up.

Based on your reference, I assume you were aiming for a sort of Sherlock/Watson dynamic here and I can say that you absolutely nailed it. Lucy most definitely has that Sherlock air about her, but she is not as in your face about it. Alexandria is going to be such a good Watson to her Sherlock and I can definitely see them having a the sort of relationship that Watson and Sherlock have on the show Elementary with mutal respect for each others' talents. I'm only two chapters in and you already have such a clear relationship between these two, I love it!

I'm so pulled in by the mystery you've started to weave her. A mysterious "him" who wants to steal random Potions ingredients? There is definitely something more going on there and I just want to know more right now!!

Also, I really hope we get more of Reynolds and Henderson because their relationship absolutely cracks me up. The secondhand embarrassment is real.

Amazing chapter, J, I can't wait to see what comes next!

Claire

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Review #10, by Claire EvergreenRise of the Phoenix: An Unusual Party

5th March 2016:
Hey, Nick! Here (belatedly) for our swap earlier this week. Sorry for the delay, reali life has been kicked my butt lately.

But anyway, I enjoyed this chapter, mostly because it seemed like a nice break from the action in the past few chapters. It served as a really nice introduction to other characters that (I assume) are going to become more important as the story progresses.

I think you really nailed Fudge in this. I could totally see him being completely at loss at what to do in this situation and all of their obvious dislike of him played really well into what we know of him from the books. Dumbledore also was fantastically characterized. I know that it can be so incredibly daunting to try and write him, but I think you've pulled him off really well. I really felt like I was reading a younger version of the character from the books and not just a flat transfer of his most superficial qualities from JK's descriptions.

I also really love the fact that, even though Aurora is unconscious in this scene, we still gain more information about her. The little bit about her father being a well-known judge puts a lot of perspective on the family that she's so reluctant to come back to and I loved the detail about her being Flitwick's favorite- it just adds to her relatability, knowing that at one point she was just a student like everyone else who was just talented at Charms.

There were just a few things that struck me as being a bit off in this chapter though. For example, I wouldn't think that a whole host of Aurors and MLE officers would simply ignore the fact that Aurora is lying half dead on the floor, especially not if she's as important as the narrative suggests. I'm not saying that everyone needs to be glued to her side, but I feel like Alice especially would be more vocal about getting her help before Greyback. It's not a huge thing, but one that definitely bothered me as I was reading.

Theo, also, seemed like he was just there to bring attention to the fact that Aurora wasn't getting any medical help. I'm not saying that that's bad at all, but he didn't seem to have a purpose beyond that. I think if he had put up a larger fight to staying with her when Dumbledore appeared, it might fit better with the characterization we know of him from earlier chapters.

I will say that I liked that you dramatized this scene, but I feel like it was a bit fillerish and we could have gotten the information in a different way. I was thinking that this would work really well if Aurora woke up in hospital wing and Theo were to sum up the conversation for her. Or even have her overhear a conversation between Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey before they realize she's awake. That way we still get the information, but it's in a way that preserves the PoV from earlier chapters and solves a lot of the things that I said before.

Don't get me wrong, I really love the story that you've crafted so far. I think you've got an amazing premise and I'm always eager to know what's going to happen next, but this chapter just seemed like it drifted slightly away from the main action of the story. I'll definitely be back, though. You have me hooked and I can't wait to find out what happens to Aurora!

Claire

[For the HPFF Review-a-thon]

Author's Response: Hi Claire,

Yay the review-a-thon!

Don't worry about the delay, it is all cool with me. I appreciate any review I get.

So I am glad a lot of the elements here worked. I also agree with your CC and right now I am thinking of ways to alter or change things to how I'd prefer them to be.

In my head, act two ends after chapter 21 so at that point I will probably come back and really edit both the narrative and structure. I agree it feels like an awkward chapterrette right now.

And don't feel the need to qualify things. I respect your reviews and feedback. I hope mine are constructive for your work too. Everything you say is helpful.

Nick


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Review #11, by Claire EvergreenIntroducing...: Introducing... Meghan Abrams

5th March 2016:
Hey, Ineke! I'm here (rather late) for our review swap!

This was a shorter chapter, but I like how it introduced us to most of the major characters and conflict that are going to be in this story. Meghan sounds like an interesting person. I like that paragraph at the beginning where she went through and explained who she was to the readers. Normally, I would say that it was kind of overkill and the traits should be shown throughout the descriptions, but for the voice that you've established, it works really well. We're able to get the initial view of who our main character is from her own perspective instead of relying on others to show us.

Speaking of the narration style, I really like the tone you've set up for this. It's a really unique voice, but you pull it off really well. It almost feels like we're reading an entry in a journal or something while still dramatizing all of the events that happen. I really liked that little bit about the Transfiguration class that she was listening to. Not only did it give us a glimpse into Meghan's thought process, but it was also a really nice but of world building for this particular fic.

The only bit of advice I'd give would be to just give this a quick read through for spelling and mechanics. There were a few misspelled words and a few places there were missing spaces between words and paragraphs.

Really nice start to the story! I'll have to come back to see how the rest of the story progresses :) Thanks again for the swap!

Claire

[For the HPFF Review-a-thon]

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Review #12, by Claire EvergreenLove, Lavender: Dear Diary

27th February 2016:
Ok, so I went and read Drive right before this since I remembered you mentioned this being a companion piece to it and oh my god Vicki, these are so good!!

As you know, I'm a huge fan of Parvati and Lavender, but I will say that after reading your two one-shots, I'm sold on these two. You paint such a relatable relationship between them. From what you showed here, they are absolutely perfect for each other and you can tell that they truly do care about each other. The last few lines in the third to last and second to last entries are amazing. I wanted to cry because of all the emotions. I'm so happy that Lavender found someone who loved her for her and all her 'flaws' (even if it isn't Parvati...). You packed so much emotion into each little entry, it's wonderful!

I love the way you've portrayed Lavender here. She's very obviously suffering from the Battle and you've done a fantastic job showing that through her thoughts. In this style of writing, I feel like it'd be really easy to just tell the readers everything taht's going on, but you manage to say a lot without having to say a lot. For some reason this line really stood out to me: I found myself playing with my hair in that meeting, something I hadn't done in a long time. and I don't know exactly why, but I feel like it is an example of showing us. You never had to say that she was falling for him, but that one line showed so much. You did an amazing job with this style of narrative.

So this really isn't a critique, but I feel like combining this and Drive into one big story would read so well. I mean, obviously after the challenges and everything and it's not actually something you have to do, but reading them together is such an awesome experience.

This was amazing, Vicki, you did a fantastic job! Thanks for doing the swap :)

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Review #13, by Claire EvergreenTessellate: The Beginning

26th February 2016:
Here for the swap!

I figured I'd take a break from KCACO and I've heard nothing but good things about this so I decided to check it out. And it is amazing! Screw not starting more stories, you need to finish this all right now because I need to know what happens.

Your version of Lucy is lot different from how she is in my stories, but I love how you've written her. She is so analytical and precise, but also has those moments of emotion that prove that she is human (does someone have a crush on a certain Divya Singh by chance?). I also love that she's so curious about everything happening around her. Her cockiness is the best and you write in such a Ravenclaw way. She's cocky when she knows she's the best and rightly deserves to be. She's an amazing character already.

In fact, all of your Ravenclaws are fantastic examples of the house. Alex is the typical one that everyone thinks of. You know, book smart, top of their class, etc. But he also is really witty, which is a key trait that a lot of people tend to forget. Kennedy may be my favorite, though. I love love love Ravenclaw characters who are smart but only in certain ways. It makes complete sense that she'd be good at Herbology and the theory of Potions but have trouble actually brewing them because that's something completely different. I just love when they don't have to be good at everything just because they're in the 'smart' house.

The little hints at everything that is to come in the story (Lucy's affinity for mysteries, the ingredients that are stolen, even Alexandria Cartwright) are fantastic, just what a good mystery needs. I'm so incredibly excited to read on and get to know everyone in this story even better! Don't be surprised if you end up with a few more reviews over the weekend because I am definitely coming back if I have more time :)

Another amazing story, J! Thank you so much for doing the swap!

Claire

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Review #14, by Claire EvergreenHefty Headlines: An Expose of Bullying at Hogwarts: All Publicity is Bad Publicity

26th February 2016:
Hey, Mallory! I'm here for our swap!

Your descriptions in this are absolutely amazing. Everything is so vivid in my mind, especially the Herald's office. I can see the pictures you described in this like they were real. In fact, the descriptions of the characters are crazy amazing. Unless I'm remembering everything wrong, there's not much actual description of the characters besides Constance's weight and Jayde's skin color, but I have such a clear picture of each of them in my mind, which is due to your fantastic characterization of each of them.

Speaking of characterization, Jayde's is absolutely stunning. She just oozes confidence and class, but I love that we got to see another side of her in this chapter. Her whole speech to Constance about marginalization and bullying was stunning. Like, this line: "So donít you try to tell me about discrimination, Constance Edwards, because I have a whole history of it in my blood.Ē? Amazing. If you had never said that this was your first time writing about these issues, I would never have guess. While I can only speak to the accuracy of the LGBTQA aspect, I think you absolutely nailed everything with that.

(Also, side note, I love how lesbians are such a central part of your story, because I feel like they get pushed to the side a lot in popular media in favor of promoting relationships between two men.)

Side characters are my weakness and I love all of yours. He hasn't been in here much, but Lysander is fantastic. I think he's the exact type of friend that Constance needs: one that supports her, but also isn't afraid to tell it to her straight (okay, that was a bad, unintentional pun, but I'm gonna leave it). I'm excited to see more of him as the story progresses, as well as see him possibly interact with his awful brother.

Alright, Constance's inner monologue when she was sitting in her bed broke my heart. Part of me doesn't want to feel bad for her because she does need to get over herself somewhat, but the large part of me wanted to cry reading it. No one deserves to feel like that ever and I really hope that she's able to fix things with Jayde so they can take down all the idiots who are making life hell for everyone.

This is an amazing story, Mallory. I'm so glad that you're writing it because a lot of it needs to be said. Fantastic job and thanks again for your wonderful review in the swap!

Claire

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Review #15, by Claire EvergreenWalking the Line: three [in limbo]

21st February 2016:
Ok, so I know that we were only doing a one chapter swap, but this story was so good I just had to keep reading and there were no reviews on this chapter yet so...here I am :)

I absolutely love this. You've done an amazing job of writing Alex and really making them come to life. Their are such a real character and not just because they aren't cis. There's so much more to them than that and I know that sounds really cliche, but I mean it. I absolutely love them as a character and they're a fantastic MC!

I completely understand the entire process of questioning everything that you thought you knew about yourself. You really nailed that aspect of trying to find your identity and it never really goes away.

All of the side characters are really great. Celeste is a gem, I'm so glad that Alex has a friend like her. And everyone in their band sounds amazing. I definitely want to be friends with all of them. Especially Celeste.

Also that band name. As a loyal Ravenclaw, I'm going to have to disagree with it, but it is totally something a group of sixth year Gryffindors would come up with.

Could a school with over a thousand years of tradition change to make its marginalised students feel welcome? HECK YEAH IT CAN YOU GET EM ALEX!!! I am so pumped for the rest of this story, you've got me hooked.

Thanks again for doing the swap with me, I really enjoyed reading this!

Claire

Author's Response: Claire you are so wonderful, I can't even say how much it means to me that you read not one, not two, but all three currently posted chapters of this - gah. I'm so glad to hear it was that interesting!

ah, thank you so much, I'm so glad you like Alex as a character! It is seriously the best thing ever to hear that one of my characters seems real and multi dimensional - for me, writing is all about the characters so this is a wonderful compliment ♥.

I think questioning things about yourself and your identity is something that most people do - in Alex's case it was their gender, but growing up is full of questions like that and I am so, so glad to hear that Alex's questioning was relatable - thank you!

So glad you like the side characters as well! I have so much fun writing the band :P and I love that you want to be friends with all of them, haha. I want to be friends with Celeste too :D

XD Yeah, I'm a Hufflepuff myself and part of me was shaking my head at myself as I wrote that band name. :P But yeah, I thought it was fitting for the group haha - glad you appreciated it too even if you didn't appreciate their obvious house favoritism :P

aah! thank you so much! I am really beyond thrilled that you're so into this story so far. now I feel extra motivated to get that next chapter written.

Thanks so much for the swap!! ♥


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Review #16, by Claire EvergreenRise of the Phoenix: Tooth and Claw

18th February 2016:
Hey, Nick! I'm sorry that it's late, but I'm here for our swap!

I really enjoyed how concise this chapter was compared to the last one. Don't get me wrong, last chapter was fantastic, but I love how the fight scene read in this one. I was intrigued the entire time and my heart was pounding the whole time. You have a real knack for writing action scenes. It all flowed so nicely and I could picture everything happening clearly in my mind, like one big long movie action sequence. It was all really well written and I'm really impressed.

You've perfectly captured Greyback here. He's creepy, he's disgusting, and he's terrifying. I love how you've characterized him, especially since it's a lot different than how I've always thought of him. I've always thought that he probably wasn't all that bright, but having him be incredibly smart makes him even scarier. It's one thing to have an idiotic werewolf after you, especially when you're as talented as Aurora, but one that's almost as smart as you? Count me out.

Aurora's characterization continues to intrigue me. You've got this brilliant balance between strong and competent with a more vulnerable and panicking side (I can't think of better words at the moment). She really is a strong female character and I know that you had posted that topic earlier this week, but seriously, don't even worry. Aurora is fantastic and such a good choice for a MC.

Another wonderful chapter! I love this concept and your execution of it. I'll have to come back to keep reading when I have more time :)

Thanks again for the swap!

Claire

Author's Response: Howdi Claire,

Just posted your review. Your thoughtful commentary spurred me into checking your username and I realised I forgot to post it. So no need to apologise as I messed up pretty royally.

Thanks for all your kind words regarding the story, and also the Bechdel test. I really wanted to capture the Greyback how I saw him rather than just the gormless brute. I always felt there was no way he could have lived as long as he had if he was flat-out stupid.

Cheers for the swap, hope to do it again some time!

Nick


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Review #17, by Claire EvergreenKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Not Sleeping

15th February 2016:
Hey, J! Back again for our swap :)

Well, now I'm going to need to add another character to my "List of Side Characters You Were Never Supposed to Enjoy This Much." Will is fantastic and I feel like he's a perfect roommate for Lorcan. And I agree, his eyes do certainly seem dreamy.

I was cracking up at his misadventure to Lily's house. Of course he would end up landing in her roommate's room. And then the entire scene of everyone in the office in their PJs trying to coax Branson off the desk was hilarious. You did such an amazing job balancing all of the personalities in that scene.

The party and the aftermath were fantastic. I got so much second hand embarrassment from Lorcan when he was attempting to talk to Harry, it was wonderful. You have such a solid characterization of him. It always stays consistent throughout the various situations he is placed in. You do an absolutely amazing job of that.

And following with the theme of characterization, I love how human you're making Branson, especially since you're writing from the PoV of someone who works for her. She could easily be placed on a pedestal and always be this perfect, unattainable goal, but she isn't. She's a real person with real concerns and real stances. She gets my vote, 100%.

And now I will leave you with my obligatory note about how much I am in in love with Callum Wood by including these two lines that absolutely killed me:

His thick Scottish drawl somehow adds to his intimidatingness by like a hundred. I donít know what scale thatís on, and I donít think that intimidatingness is a real word, but whatever. I stand by it.

That guy is seriously the worst. Like, the best in the business. But still the worst.

As always, fantastic chapter, I can't wait to read the next one!

Claire

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Review #18, by Claire EvergreenKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Writing Speeches and Carrying On

14th February 2016:
Hey, J! I saw you were up for the BvB Battle so I had to slip in and review the next chapter :)

Oh my god, I loved the opening of this chapter. You do such an amazing job with your openings, I'm really jealous. I can never seem to get them right. This one is so true to the situation though. I mean, I've never worked on a political campaign, but I have most definitely fallen asleep in the middle of an essay before, so I completely get it. This was also a really nice way to further highlight the dynamic of the office.

I am completely here for the Linda/Lorcan bromance. Well, I mean that's how I'm describing it, but they are too good. I love that she always says what he's thinking. Linda is who I wish I was, but Lorcan is who I actually am. Always passive-aggressively thinking everything but never saying it all out loud. That is actually me and I love Lorcan even more for it.

Okay, do you remember how I said a few reviews back that I always fall in love with side characters? Well, now it is 100% confirmed I love all of them. Every last one of them. I love how Bronson starts off all intimidating (at least to me) and then we slowly find out that she's actually a huge nerd. And then Bruce and Linda are my everything, I love their dynamic and Linda's speech about the party killed me. I want to know all of them in real life. And then poor little Peter, he really does bring it on himself, doesn't he? And then sweet sweet Lily. I love her so much, she's so cute and innocent and I can't wait to see her hit her stride in the campaign process. Erick continues to give me life.

Lorcan needs to get over himself and do something with Lily already. Like, come on, son. Get it together now.

I'm so incredibly excited to read about the team bonding retreat and Linda's party (cause come on, it's totally her party). I'm just so ready to see what Lorcan gets in to.

Also, this line: A collective shudder passed around the room. I think I saw Bruce cross himself. Confirmation that I am indeed still in love with Callum Wood.

Yet another wonderful chapter. I can't wait to get to another one, hopefully soon!

Claire

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Review #19, by Claire EvergreenKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Apparating

14th February 2016:
I'm so excited I get to come back for another chapter of this. I may have mentioned this before, but I love this story so much!

I really like how you included the part about Lily's Celiac disease. I have a friend who is gluten and dairy free, so it was cool (is that the word? probably not but I can't think of a better one) to see that in a fic. I don't think I've seen anyone include something like that in a story before and it added an extra layer of believability to the story, at least for me.

I continue to love Lorcan. He is just an absolute dork and it is the greatest thing ever. I feel like sometimes, people can go overboard with the sweet, lovable dork character and make them just comic relief, but you've done a really nice job balancing it nicely. His internal thoughts kill me, I love all of the humor that you throw into this story.

Speaking of humor, I was dead when Callum Wood started speaking. Also this line: He was the older brother of former Keeper Oliver Wood, and had about twice his intensity. Yeah. Let that sink in. had me on the floor. I had to keep from laughing out loud since my roommates were in the room, but oh my god. All I was picturing was this huge, built guy strutting around dropping the f-bomb at this very-official-Order-meeting. I think I may be in love.

Speaking of the very-official Order meeting, it was perfect! I loved all of the name dropping and little bits of politics that you included. It was so realistic and I loved all of Lorcan's little side comments about all of the proceedings.

Also, Erick continues to give me life. Just saying.

Yet another amazing chapter! Hopefully I can stop by again soon, I can't wait to read more :)

Claire

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Review #20, by Claire EvergreenKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to St. Mungo's and Carrying On

11th February 2016:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

Ok, so for some reason I completely forgot that I started reading this story and I don't know how because I absolutely love it! I'm pretty sure that I've read at least four chapters in, but I'm going to start back from the beginning and review all the chapters along the way :)

I'm pretty sure I said this in my last review al the way back in August, but I absolutely love your version of Lorcan. I see it so often that he and his brother are a lot like their mother, but I like that you've made a distinction between them. I've imagined them a lot like you have, with them being around the age of the Potters and everything. I'm really excited to get to meet Lysander at some point, he's seems really interesting.

I love love love all of your side characters. I kind of have a thing about side characters really needing to be real people and you've done a great job. I love the dynamic of the office, it rings really true to how people interact in work environments. You can tell most of them are friends, but there's still that element of their relationship that you can tell they're just work friends (if that makes sense at all?).

I know I've said this before, but I love the political elements you add in. I'm completely lost when it comes to politics, but you've done it seemlessly. That whole discussion about who was going to run felt so accurate, like it was something I would hear from a real life political campaign. You've done a fantastic job with that and I'm really excited to see how you continue with it!

This is an amazing story, I'm so mad that I managed to forget about this. It's definitely going on my list so I remember to keep up with it!

Claire

Author's Response: Hey Claire! Thanks so much for this review! I really appreciate it. :D

Haha I've totally had that happen to me! I'm glad you like it and that you've liked it in the past. ;) I love hearing your thoughts!

(Also, random side note: whenever I read things you've written, I now picture Daveed Diggs saying it because of your icon...it's kinda disconcerting haha!)

I think that to survive in the Lovegood-Scamander household you would either have to be exactly like the parents or be very, very different and self-sufficient. I'm not exactly sure where Lorcan falls! And Lysander features in the latest chapter of the story, so I hope he doesn't disappoint. :)

Thanks so much! The OCs in this are one of my favorite parts, but it takes a bit for them to develop. I've got pretty clear images of them in my head now, so it's great that it's coming across! I definitely feel the need to have OCs be realistic (although I'm not always great about that...#MistakenForStrangers...) Ah I've never actually worked worked-- I'm a college student and I've interned places, but never been part of the office environment, so it's really exciting that you think it's working! I totally get what you're saying and I'm glad to hear it. :) It's mostly based on TV haha.

Aw thanks! I'm not a huge politics person myself, so I think I may have a better perspective about what's interesting or what's not haha. I'm really glad you're enjoying it though and I hope I can keep you interested! :P

Thanks so much! If you get a chance to read on, I hope you continue to enjoy it! :) Thanks again for this wonderful review!

--J


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Review #21, by Claire EvergreenBetween Takes: Episode 1: Location, Location

10th February 2016:
Well, hello there. Long time no review :)

Anyways, I don't normally read AUs, but this is such a cool premise and I just love your writing always :P

I love that Scorpius is the one who's the TV star because I've always pictured him as having those movie star good looks. I cannot wait to read more about him and this Hogwarts show that he's on because it sounds rather...interesting.

Bixie? I'm dying that is both the best and worst ship name ever. I love it.

I continue to fall in love with all of your side characters and it's starting to become an actual problem at this point. Susie is fantastic and I just want to see her interact with Al and Scorpius once she figures out that one of them has a crush on the other

...okay, I'll stop writing your story for you now

But anyway, if you couldn't tell, I love this idea and I'm super pumped to see how everything plays out with it!

Claire

Author's Response: Claire! You're wonderful, I hope you know that.

I rarely read harry potter aus, let alone write them, but I've expanded recently and actually been happy? But yay, thank you for giving this a chance! I'm so excited for it.

haha, right? His good looks will definitely be played up in this story. Particularly by a certian Potter child, but you'll have to wait for chapter 2 for that :D Hogwarts, the tv show, gets explained a bit more in chapter two by it's biggest fan.

hahahah okay so I swear I hate it too but it was either bixie or nasil soo... lol

CLAIRE YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE SUSIE SO MUCH omg I can't wait for you to see her in chapter two and beyond she's amazing.

Thank you so much again for reviewing! It's so good to hear from you!

Julie


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Review #22, by Claire EvergreenTo Steal Our Breath Away: Prologue

28th January 2016:
Hey, Branwen! Here for the BvB Battle :)

This was an amazing opening chapter. Based on what I knew from the summary, it set up the main conflict really well without giving too much away. Using a character who was ultimately going to die at the end of the chapter can be a risky move, but you pulled it off well and I'm really eager to find out what happens next.

Jane's paranoia is spot on. I know exactly how she's feeling; I always get nervous and jumpy when I'm by myself and have to close up my house so I could feel everything that you were describing. I loved that you drew out her process of making sure the entire house was locked up. It really built up the tension and I was doubting if there was anyone was there or not.

That twist at the end was brilliant. Going off the summary, I guessed that Jane was a half-breed of some sort, but I started to doubt myself about halfway through. I honestly thought it was a spell that was making her sick, but then she was a werewolf?? Did she not know that she was one? I mean, her reaction to the transformation made it seem like she had never turned before, but that may just be me. It was still a brilliant twist, I loved the entire process of building up to it.

But, anyway, this was an awesome set up you have here and I cannot wait to get to read more!

-Claire

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Review #23, by Claire EvergreenRise of the Phoenix: Into the Void

25th January 2016:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

I like how this chapter immediately picks up on the action that was started last chapter. Having just read chapter one last night, I loved that there was no break between the fights of the last chapter and the fights of this one. It kept my interest since there was no real downtime.

Being able to see Aurora in action was also nice. We only got a glimpse of her abilities last chapter since everything was so sudden and disjointed. At least at the beginning, she seems really level headed and logical even in a duel and quite skilled at magic as well. I love that spell you had her create, the night vision one. It's really clever and I like that it had a practical use for her profession. What does Boreos mean though, I'm curious?

The one thing I will say though is that there's a lot of action in this chapter that all kind of blends together. After the first few times she fought with someone, it started to get repetitive for me and I found myself skimming over it all instead of reading thoroughly. I really like your fight scenes, but I feel like you could condense them down more until you get to the confrontation with Greyback (who you've written perfectly by the way). I think creating paragraphs instead of making each action a separate line would help as well, just because it would give the sense that all of the action is condensed without actually having to cut anything out.

Another thing is how talented Aurora is at magic. Don't get me wrong, I think you've got a really good character here, but beyond her night vision spell, it seems a little much to have her be so gifted with wandless magic. From what I remember of the books, Dumbledore is really the only who could perform something like that. I'm not saying that she can't be an extremely talented witch, but just that maybe stopping it at wandless magic would give her more credibility, at least in my opinion.

I really like your story so far, though. You've created such an interesting concept here and I'm really interested to see how things end up for Aurora. I'll definitely have to stop by again, you've got me hooked!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hey, cheers for the reviews. Had to sleep, then I had work, so only just got round to reading your story now. Should have a review there tonight.

Thanks for your feedback. Really helpful and constructive stuff. The action sequences do always need an edit now and then. I'll take a look...

I am glad you liked Aurora and the night vision spell.

Hmmm.I get what you mean about the wandless magic thing. Though from what I understand it is more to do with discipline, and this character is meant to be pretty exceptional at charms. I counterbalanced her abilities with the fact she is hot-headed, and not a fantastic dueller. The truth is her magic is being adapted to a situation that is not natural to her. None of these werewolves are particularly strong and though she emphatically wins, she makes a fair bit of mess doing so. Also Greyback uses a very easy trick to outwit her. If Bellatrix or Snape had been on th train, she might have escaped as she is pretty smart, but even though she could do wandless magic- I highly doubt she'd defeat them in a duel. In fact, I think she'd have to flee.

I also had a look the HP wiki (yes, I know) and the likes of Remus and Moody have used intentional wandless magic So as long as its medium sized spells, and she isn't burning a house down with her little finger, I think it is justifiable.

Also - as you see later on when she loses her cool and is terrified, it doesn't work whatsoever.

Anyway,

Should have my review up for your story soon, reads very well so far by the way :)

Thanks,

Nick :)


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Review #24, by Claire EvergreenRise of the Phoenix: The Gathering Storm

24th January 2016:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

I'm going to admit right now that this definitely isn't the type of fic that I normally read. That being said, I think this is a crazy cool and original idea for a fic. I've honestly never seen one like it and based on this chapter, it has a ton of potential.

I love how you just throw us into a conversation between the two characters and then slowly pull back and reveal more about them. That's a tough writing style to pull off, but you've pulled it off really well here. With this set up, I'm immediately curious about who these people are, which makes me want to read more, and then we slowly get more information about everyone, which then makes me invested in the characters. You've really balanced the two perfectly there.

Aurora is such an interesting character. I love that we start off with this summary about a fierce and talented witch and then one of the first things we learn about her is that she got a massive scar fighting with a dragon. By giving us this first and then going into how upset she is over her brother is a really nice contrast. She is obviously a strong, capable woman, but that doesn't mean that she can't care about her brother and get paranoid over everything. She's a well rounded character, which is a lot harder to create than a lot of people think.

Thank you so much for doing the swap with me! This is a really interesting and intriguing story and I'll have to come back when I have more time and see how this all plays out :)

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for engaging in the review swap. My review of your chapter is up now. I really liked it.

Thanks for the nice words about the idea. I know it isn't for everyone, but I am glad the idea worked. Also I love writing Aurora so it's cool that you felt, (as she is in OC) she was worth reading. And the comments about the dialogue opening are really reassuring.

Best,

Nick


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Review #25, by Claire EvergreenTime For Bed: Getting Ready

24th January 2016:
Hey, Kaitlin! I'm here for our swap!

This is so absolutely adorable! I'm going to try to keep the squealing to a minimum, but that might be hard because I love this ship and you've done a wonderful job writing it here!

I love love love Hannah in this. I don't think I've really read or written much with her, but your characterization is exactly how I imagine her. She's incredibly sweet and caring, but she definitely wears the pants in this relationship. They're dynamic is fantastic, though, you can really tell that they love each other a lot.

I'm not sure how you did it, but I was 100% genuinely interested in his nightly routine. The magic was integrated wonderfully and I love the little touches that made it obviously Neville. The detail in it was perfectly balanced; there wasn't so much that it would become overwhelming and there wasn't too little that it made it easy to skim over almost the whole story.

Ok, I tried to keep it all in but oH MY GOD SNUGGLES BEFORE THEY GO TO BED THEY ARE TOO ADORABLE FOR THIS WORLD...okay, I'm good now.

As usual, this is fantastically written and I absolutely love it! Thank you again for doing the swap!

Claire

Author's Response: Hey Claire!

I'm so glad you like it!

I definitely think that with a guy like Neville, his partner would have to wear the pants a bit.

Whew! That's a relief. When I was writing this, I kept thinking to myself "Who is going to actually be interested in reading about night time routines?" I'm thrilled that it wasn't super boring.

I love the bedtime snuggles too. :D

Thank you so much for the swap!

~Kaitlin


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