Reading Reviews From Member: Claire Evergreen
  
117 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Claire EvergreenThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 2: The Transportation Office

28th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

So I can fully admit that I have never read a story with Dobby as an important side character, much less the main character, so I'm so excited to get to read more of what you have in store for him! You've really nailed his characterization. I love the little details that you weave in and nothing feels too over the top. The bits where he punishes himself are thrown in with just the right amount of frequency to make it believable but not comedic, which I find is a really hard balance to walk, but you're nailing it!

I'm also fascinated by this afterlife that you've created. It's obvious that you've put a lot of thought and effort into making this feel as real as a it possibly can. I like that everyone has a name and is familiar with each other because it helps to cement me as the reader into your world. I also think it's such a neat idea for you to pick to use. I also like the little bit of details that you threw at us with Charlie and Hannah having portkeys which means that they're going to die soon. Once again, it adds a ton to the realism and makes me feel like you really put an enormous amount of time into this, which is always wonderful to see as a reader :)

Great job!

Claire

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Review #2, by Claire EvergreenWhere My Heart Lies: The Masquerade Ball

27th April 2017:
Back again for CTF!

So I will admit, I go to a tiny tiny school that no one has ever heard of where the biggest 'secret society' we have is probably the guy's lacrosse team, so I have absolutely no idea how secret societies work, but I am 100% down for this story, whatever it may entail. I like the idea of a Masquerade Ball, I think it's a nice play on the typical idea of a school wide ball that happens every year. I also think it's a very interesting way to introduce the plot of your story. If the masks are supposed to be a part of the secret society thing, then I do wonder what the point of it is if everyone knows everyone's names anyways as it seems they do. Don't get me wrong, it's a really cool idea, I'm just curious as to the reasoning for it :)

Oooo, okay, I love me some cliches and the whole "dating a guy while I'm really in love with my best friend" is definitely at the top of my list. I'm dying to see how everything goes down between Abby and Riley because come on, something has to go down. Oh, oh, is he part of the dangerous society that Albus is going to join? Oh, my god, I'm so down for this story, I have to know what happens next.

You've got me hooked!

Claire

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Review #3, by Claire EvergreenMaking the Reserves: Making Mr. Wood's Good Books

27th April 2017:
Hey, Lo! Here for CTF :)

Man oh man, has it been forever since I read this story and I'm just as in love as ever. First off, that Quidditch match? A work of goshdarn magnificence. I will admit to having written my fair share of Quidditch stories, but man, I've never written one that is as good as that. Honestly, it was probably better than the ones in canon because it was from the point of view of a Chaser not a Seeker. I know sometimes I find myself skimming Quidditch scenes because they get a bit repetitive, but in a story like this, there was so much there beyond just Quidditch. I felt like I got more a sense of everyone's personalities by the way that they that played, especially Minh and Viki (both of who I want to know so much more about rn).

Also, sidenote, man, I love Oliver Wood so gash darn much, it's ridiculous. He's one of those characters who I kind of forget about and then BAM there they are again. You really locked down his personality there, I like that he was the one to bring up Harry.

Also, I love love love love Viki. Can she be my best friend? Pretty please? She seems so sweet and nice and just the kind of person who I love. So we're going to be best friends now, k? Good :P

Absolutely in love with this story Lo! So good to be back!

Claire

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Review #4, by Claire EvergreenThe Department: Chapter One

27th April 2017:
Hey! Here for CTF :)

So I've been watching your progress on this on Twitter and I think the old forums too, so I'm beyond exciting to see that's it's as wonderful as I expected! I don't think I've read anything of yours before (which is a crime tbh), but I love the ideas you have about Sirius and I love how you've written him here! It's a shorter chapter, but we still get a real sense of who he is. He's obviously smart and talented enough to get through a more rigorous form of Auror training, but you do a really awesome job of setting up how young he is as well. It'd make sense for someone who is two years out of Hogwarts to be ancy doing straight desk work and filing report after report. Trust me, dude, I get it, I really do.

Oh, man, that twist (is it a twist? Imma call it a twist) hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like I should have known that something like that was coming, but jesus, that was so awful. I love how we get the information the same way Sirius does. It really adds to the impact that it has on the reader, which is like a punch to the gut. I also love James' reactions to everything too, it felt really true to what we know about him from canon and otherwise.

Fantastic job, I look forward to coming back!

Claire

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Review #5, by Claire EvergreenHow to tame a Marauder: Return to Hogwarts

27th April 2017:
Hey! Here for CTF :)

So I've admired this since I first read your work is your writing style. It is so distinct, but at the same time it reads as so normal? I don't think that's coming out right, but I mean that as a really sincere compliment. The way you write is just so you and so distinct to this type of story that it would feel wrong if it were written any other way. The first person extremely detailed inner monologues that give us backstory normally feels kinda clunky and too much for me, but it coupled with what we get of Laura's personality works amazingly together to give this really tight, concise feeling to it.

Gosh, everything is just so wonderfully normal in this story and I definitely know now that I'm not saying this right. But what I mean is you drop us right into the normal, everyday life of these characters and make the reader fill in the blanks for themselves. Even with the detail backstory type stuff we get from Laura, the characters' actions show us more than narration could ever tell us. Your characters are real people with real feelings and real reactions to things. It makes me feel like I'm really inside the story.

I think you know how I feel about this story, but still, I absolutely am in love!

Claire

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Review #6, by Claire EvergreenEvolution: Ain't No Sunshine

27th April 2017:
Hey, Kevin! Here for CTF ;)

Ooo, yes Marauders! This is possibly one of my favorite eras to read, but that being said, I also have more than a few extremely strict headcanons of my own, especially when it comes to James, who is the light of my life. That being said, I do really like your interpretation of James, even if it is rather different from my own. He seems more serious, though definitely not in a bad way, than I picture him, but tbh, it works really well for your writing style. I like that even though he is a little less carefree than I imagined him, he's still the same person we see in the brief glimpses we get in canon.

I also adore how you've set the Jily relationship up. I myself tend to go with the interpretation that James had always fancied Lily from day one and he was just ridiculously persistent, but I think I like the idea of a prank better. It lines up really well with what we know about him, it works a heck of a lot better with your characterization, AND it sets up a way more interesting plot dynamic. Plus, I love that you're having them date other people first. I do love a good slow burn!

I'm so mad I never read this before, but I'm glad I got to start!

Claire

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Review #7, by Claire EvergreenThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 1: Happenings

27th April 2017:
Hey, Kaitlin! Here for CTF :)

I've been meaning to read this for a while and I'm glad I finally get the chance to because I love everything that you've set up here. It's something that I vaguely recall seeing maybe once before years and years and years ago, but even so, it's already completely new! Tbh I'm not really sure what I believe the afterlife is like, but I'm digging what you've set up here. I love that everyone is able to stay together and meet up with each other. I also love the idea of tests to make it into wherever it is they are.

You've also got such amazing characterizations here. I'm incredibly picky about how I view certain characters (like James, Sirius, and Dumbledore), but dang, you completely nailed all of them! They all feel incredibly real to me and I like that even though this is on the somewhat shorter side with a huge cast of characters, each of them has a distinctive voice that really relates back to how I see them in canon. I especially like how you've established relationships early in too without overwhelming the reader. We understand who is attached to who but you never needed to spell it out. You just let the reader figure it out as we go.

Look forward to reading more!

Claire

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Review #8, by Claire EvergreenOpposites attract: Ch 21: Confessions and Discussions

18th April 2017:
*hides* I'm so so sorry, but back again for CTF

So this chapter kind of jumped around a lot. I feel like with as big a threat Linda has been so far, more of the chapter would be dedicated to her. I know that this was originally a romance and you wanted to focus on that, but it really felt out of place here. Blaise's confession really put a wrench in the flow of the chapter. I wish that it had waited or been in a different chapter. I feel like it was good in that it made Draco and Hermione come clean about their relationship, but it just didn't feel organic. I get the whole wrong place, wrong time thing, but it just didn't work here, at least for me. Like I said, I did like that you included it, but I just feel like it should have been elsewhere.

Okay, I'm going to say that Draco is starting to kind of creep me out a bit. He seems really possessive and I'm not really comfortable with it. Like, I get that Blaise was hitting on his girlfriend, but the way that he went about it (doing it without her consent) kind of seems controlling. He's had that trait throughout, but it really comes out here and I'm not too sure if I'm really okay with it.

Claire

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As mentioned, this is a terrible story with a stupid plot and horrible writing so I am sorry you had to read all of this!

I get it that you are not comfortable with Draco's possessiveness, but that is his character trait here, and while you're not okay with it - and in usual circumstance i understand you would stop reading but here you are being forced to read - I think it is pretty evident that despite the possesive nature, nowhere is Draco manipulative or truly non-consensual. There are disagreements and stuff, things he does forcefully, but nothing that truly hurts Hermione. Your interpretation of this very harsh and perhaps it would have helped had you read all the chapters in order and in context.


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Review #9, by Claire EvergreenOpposites attract: Ch 22: Staying Together and Staying Strong

18th April 2017:
I'm really sorry, Avi, I really am. It's for CTF, so I gotta keep going until we find the flag chapter.

Ok, I'm so so sorry about this rant, but I can't let this slide. I know this was a long time ago for you, but when someone says no to anything, it means no. I know that it probably seems romantic, but it's really not. I cannot begin to explain how uncomfortable it was when Draco refused to listen to Hermione when she told him no. I know, I know, she ultimately agreed and she really wanted it the whole time, but her saying no first really makes it awful. A better way to do everything would just to have her be for it the entire time. It doesn't matter that she enjoys enjoys the sex, it's still technically illegal and I'm not a fan.

All that aside, I really did like your characterization of McGonagall in this. I think she was spot on and you really nailed her dialogue. I could really see McGonagall saying those things to the students, so great job there!

Ok, I get it, Linda aka Zalia is an incredibly powerful witch, but it kind of feels like you were just pulling things out of no where with her powers. She seems almost too unbelievable to be a good villain because there's nothing really human about her.

I really like a lot of the concepts you have here, and I look forwrd to exploring more.

Claire

Author's Response: This story is my worst piece of writing ever, and now when I go back to read it, it cracks me up. It is so, so bad. I wrote it when I was very young so I apologise for the bad writing you had to go through during the game.

Now, having said that, I usually would not care about these reviews because, as you said, the story is abandoned, but I do feel bad that the story has been misunderstood. Hence I will attempt to explain myself - at least have my POV out there.

So, I am Angie, not Avi. Also, while you are not in agreement with the content of this chapter, it makes you uncomfortable, that is your opinion or perspective. I do think there is a nicer way to say things, for one.

Besides that, consent does not always mean yes-yes. Sometimes, even in RL relationships, someone can say a playful no - a no that they do not really mean or are trying to be modest, it is all in playful romance. I am sorry you misinterpreted this but it was all in playful romance and she wanted it, she was only trying to present a modest front, and I think it became pretty clear that she was happy with the entire ordeal. It was supposed to be cute. In my relationship(s) and many other people I have talked to, sometimes you do say No playfully or you say it but then you get coaxed into saying yes, and that is how relationships and love is - you do things for the other person in love too - and here in fact she wanted it. there was no assault and no consent disregard, it was draco's possessive nature and hermione's giving one, and they ultimately both had sex because they wanted to. and this was not the first time they were having sex either. Your comments feel like a personal attack here - as if you are explaining to me that "no means no". I think saying a statement like that is ignorant because you have to look at the context and feelings. If I want to have sex and my boyfriend says no, I will try and coax him unless I know for sure that he doesnt really want to - which two people in love know. and all of this comes through the narrative. so i dont see it as abusive or assault or violation of consent. and it is definitely not illegal because both of them do it agreeably. she says no but then she changes her mind and it is an act of love. because how many times do we change our minds for love!


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Review #10, by Claire EvergreenOpposites attract: Duelling the Devil

17th April 2017:
Blame the Snakes for this :P Here for CTF

While I do like the plot twists that you have put into this story, I have to say that I feel like nothing really happened in this chapter? I know that Zalia was taken out, but I feel kinda underwhelmed by the fight scene, especially with all the people that are involved in it. With fight scenes, I really want to feel pulled in and engaged. Here, it just seemed like spells were being said but they had no consequences. For me, I think that toning Zalia's power down a it would help a lot towards that. It wouldn't feel like there was really nothing to do. Especially with what these kids have been through, I would expect that they could really land a hit. But having to have numerous teachers be the ones that eventually slightly incapacitated Zalia made me enjoy the fight scene a little less.

That being said, I do like how this chapter kind of slowed everything down. It feels more realistic and I like that Hermione finally felt like a really relatable, human character. Not that she wasn't before, but it really struck me here how well she managed to come across. I enjoyed Hermione here and I think this was a really strong chapter.

Claire

Author's Response: Thank you for trying to find out something decent here. Really, this writing is all bad and this chapter pretty hopeless.

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Review #11, by Claire EvergreenOpposites attract: Ch 17: Of Unexpected Events

17th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

Same deal as before, I know this is probably not the story you want reviews on, so feel free to pass on what's below :)

Ok, so I know in my last review, I said that I thought your characters could benefit from a few more characteristics and emotions but here it seems like it's a little too much. Hermione and Draco especially seemed to jump around between emotions without any explanation that I could tell. One minute they're blissfully happy and then the next they're at each others' throats and then they're kissing but they're still unhappy with each other. I just wish that there was more consistency because I think you've definitely crafted an interesting version of each of these characters that I do want to see more of.

The biggest turn off for me in this chapter was the relationships. I know that they're young and everything, but Theo and Ginny's relationship especially really threw me off. It in no way seemed like a relationship that could continue. Theo seems manipulative and Ginny doesn't seem emotionally mature enough to really handle a relationship. It just really rubbed me the wrong way and I feel like it would have made a lot more sense if Theo was more fleshed out beyond just angry or irritated.

I'm definitely intrigued about what is going to happen with Linda. You definitely have my interest!

Claire

Author's Response: This story is my worst piece of writing ever, and now when I go back to read it, it cracks me up. It is so, so bad. I wrote it when I was very young so I apologise for the bad writing you had to go through during the game.


Now, having said that, I usually would not care about these reviews because, as you said, the story is abandoned, but I do feel bad that the story has been misunderstood. Hence I will attempt to explain myself - at least have my POV out there.

I agree with everything you said regarding characters and emotions - it is all badly written. However, regarding relationships, this is NOT a manipulative or abusive relationship. Perhaps, if read in context and wholly, you will understand that there was motivation behind Theo's actions - there is a reason why he was acting like this and that reason is clearly explained, and also that he was not happy about it. In the end he and ginny love each other and they need to work through a lot of issues but it is never implied that he is manipulating her into anything. The relationship may be unhealthy from your POV here but it is nothing that a young teenage couple cannot go through, and also in light of the characters' circumstances here, it is nothing abusive or manipulative to an extent that this violates any site guidelines.

I appreciate you taking the time and effort to give your comments, I wish it had been done in a better manner that is all.


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Review #12, by Claire EvergreenOpposites attract: Ch-15: Of Cliché Romance and Meaningful Talks

17th April 2017:
Hello! Here for CTF!

So I know that this is abandoned and you've improved a lot on your writing, so feel free to completely ignore anything that follows :)

Ok, so the biggest thing for me in this story was the characterization. I don't mind how you've chosen to characterize them all, but it feels extremely one dimensional. Like, Theo is only irritated and Harry is only all proper and saviory. It detracts from the relatability of the characters and the flow of the story. If you combined just a few traits into one character, it would make them much more well rounded and allow the reader to really connect with at least one character. Even Draco and Hermione tend to fall into one category and they don't really step outside of it.

The whole thing with Dumbledore, while I understand where you were going with it, it kind of fell flat to me. It seemed like you were just spitting out words and there was no real emotion behind it. For me at least, it felt like it would have meant more if I could imagine that it was actually Dumbledore saying everything. It was more like someone like Slughorn was saying it than a person who is usually more aloof and calculating. I think it'd work more if Dumbledore felt more authentic.

It's a really great start and I can't wait to get to read more!

Claire

Author's Response: This story is my worst piece of writing ever, and now when I go back to read it, it cracks me up. It is so, so bad. I wrote it when I was very young so I apologise for the bad writing you had to go through during the game.

I totally agree - the characters are horrible and i should have totally worked on that. They are a little bit more "Well rounded" if you read some of the other chapters I suppose. And well, yeah I do agree i couldnt write dumbledore. it's a good thing i have improved as a writer over the years!


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Review #13, by Claire EvergreenTrue Romance: Live and Let Die

17th April 2017:
Back for CTF!

Um, okay, that cliffhanger? Incredibly rude. Here I was, all ready to get mad at basically everyone in this chapter but Lily for not being able to make up their freaking minds and then you have to go and drop that ending on me. I'm just in awe of how you are able to craft such a well constructed story that I genuinely did not think that Brandon was hurt despite the fact that he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do that. I'm also still unbelievably annoyed at Albus and Scorpius for their complete inability to make up their minds. I know that Corbin is an incredible jerk, but I still think cheating is one of the worst things a person can do. Just...make up your minds jesus christ.

I also love the Rose plot line and the inclusion of Lily. With the backdrop of all the relationship drama, it's such a relatable struggle of trying to figure out what you're supposed to do with your life. As an almost senior in college, let me tell you, I relate to Rose absolutely too much for my own good, but it's fine. I mean, knowing you and your reputation, it's not going to end well but a girl can dream, right?

I look forward to figuring everything out!

Claire

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Review #14, by Claire EvergreenTrue Romance: In the Waiting Line

16th April 2017:
Back for CTF!

I really love how you keep alternating perspectives. I feel like that could be distracting and overwhelming in such compressed doses, but you pull it off so well. I feel like the story wouldn't be the same without the jumps. This kind of story with all of the interconnected story lines. It really helps to see how everyone reacts to everything and gives the feeling of a whole complete story. Not that it wouldn't be without it, but you have such real and rich characters that it would be a shame if we didn't get inside all of their heads.

I also love how you have the big overarching plot but it breaks down to each separate character. It really gives the sense that they are all real people with real people problems that they need to figure out. I love how all of the problems intersect, but they still stand on their own. Like, Rose's story line could be its own story and so could the Albus/Scorpius/Brandon story line and even James could be on his own. But they all compliment each other so nicely that it would be a shame if we weren't able to get everything all at once. Basically, I am so ridiculous impressed with how you've balanced everything out.

Can't wait to read more!

Claire

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Review #15, by Claire EvergreenTrue Romance: Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

16th April 2017:
Back again for CTF!

Once again, your characters are so incredibly detailed, I can't even handle it. They feel so real and nuanced that I'm pretty sure I've met people exactly like them. It's a real talent and I can see why people get so attached to your characters.

I love the way that Scorpius is written especially. From the first couple chapters, it feels like he was kind of a jerk and used Albus and Rose, but here we see a much more vulnerable side of him. If I'm being honest, Corbin kind of gives me a creepy vibe. The possessive way that he treats Scorpius just freaks me out to no end. I mean, the whole "completely yours" thing is really cute and can be super romantic, but when it's preceded by "you're mine" said in a very possessive tone, it feels like Scorpius is definitely the one being manipulated, especially since Corbin is much older. I really want to know how this is going to end up between the two of them.

I also love the range of jobs that you've put into here. I know that I always struggle with finding unique jobs and you've certainly created a bunch of ones that I've never seen before. I really hope Rose gets her company off the ground, it sounds like a great idea and definitely something that I'd be interested in.

Once again, great job!

Claire

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Review #16, by Claire EvergreenTrue Romance: New Slang

16th April 2017:
So of course I have heard of this frankly legendary story and I'm so glad that I get to jump in here for CTF!

I'm a huge fan of your characters already and it's been one chapter. I, of course, have my own extensive headcanons for next gen but yours are absolutely perfect. I love Albus and how much we get from just small little reactions to everything. James as well is almost exactly like how I picture him: cocky and arrogant, but he still deeply cares about his family and friends. The little thing about him being the one to invite Brandon was a really nice touch that added to his character. The relationships that you've crafted are so realistic and well written that I can really imagine them.

I also love the amount of backstory that you've included in such little bursts. We get enough about Scorpius and AL and then Brandon and Al to have a guess at how everything is going to fall into place. I like that we don't have an entire chapter dedicated to how all of these characters relate and that we get it one bit at a time.

I also really love that it's a Next Gen story that does not take place at Hogwarts. It's always refreshing to see how everyone imagines the world beyond Hogwarts and, from what I understand, you have an extremely rich universe just waiting for me to explore beyond this story.

I look forward to coming back and getting to experience all this heartbreak that everyone talks about :)

Claire

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Review #17, by Claire EvergreenIn The Name of Brotherly Love: Regulus Reflects

14th April 2017:
Here for CTF :)

So I have read more than a few of your stories tonight and I have to say this one is my favorite. Once again, you have such amazing characters, I really am jealous. You bring them to life so well it's like I can see the before me. I don't know why I don't read more stories about Regulus because he is such a fascinating character and I;m so glad that I get to read this one. He's such a good balance of what we know from canon and you really have him nailed down.

I know that I usually said that you need more description, but I think that you really nailed it this time. I mean I'm always going to suggest more showing than telling, but you really nailed it this time. I could see so much more than your other stories and I really felt like I was able to get into Regulus's head here. I think the only thing I wanted more of was the Christmas dinner. I really wanted to have a crystal clear picture of why Sirius was kicked out and having it from Regulus's perspective would be such a neat experience. Like, maybe some descriptions of the relatives or give more detail about Orion and Walburga.

I also just love the premise of this story in general. Like I said, I haven't read many stories that give a focus to Regulus and you have such a gem here. Great work!

Claire

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Review #18, by Claire EvergreenEven The Smallest Hands Can Leave The Biggest Impressions: Something's Amiss

14th April 2017:
Here for CTF :)

Once again, I love your characters. I think you have a really good grasp of how people should react and what those reactions should come across as. I know that that's something I always have to focus on, so kudos!

I'm not going to consider myself an expert on disabled children (which, a+ job for actually tackling disability, not everyone attempts to do that) since I only took one semester of special ed, but I think the way that Neville and Hannah reacted is perfectly understandable. I love that Neville deferred to Hannah's gut feeling as it shows how strong their relationship and marriage is.

The only character I'm not so sold on is Augusta, as she seemed so no nonsense and not the type of person to call someone "silly boy." But I am willing to wait to see how you show her in later chapters :)

I do wish that there was more description. You do such a good job portraying feelings through dialogue and by straight up telling us what they were feeling, but I would like to see more shown to us to help us really picture what's happening, through things like body language or gestures or how certain lines are spoken. It adds to the setting of the story and really enhances your already amazing characters.

Once again, great job!

Claire

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Review #19, by Claire EvergreenCould Be Always?: Crazy Train

14th April 2017:
Here for CTF :)

I love a good Scorose!! I'm very excited that you started at the very very beginning of their 'relationship' and I'm very interested to see where you go with it all. You have a fantastic set up with all of the relationships here to be honest. You made some really great choices with all of the siblings and cousins. It really felt like they were related. I especially like Victorie knocking James down a peg. He's definitely an annoying teenage boy, you nailed that!

While I do love your characters, I can't help but want more out of the story itself. Like I said, you have an amazing characters, but I want more about what's happening to them. I know you were working off the epilogue in the beginning, but it felt too much like summary and not enough of your own ideas. You have such a good grasp on your characters that I want to extend to the descriptions. Maybe more of what Rose is feeling as her parents are speaking or what she feels when shes looking at Scorpius. Anything that would really set the scene for me and let me get inside the characters world as much as I possibly can.

Fantastic story, can't wait to read more!

Claire

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Review #20, by Claire EvergreenWounded Vexation: A Letter Can Change Everything

14th April 2017:
Hello! Here for CTF :)

This is a really interesting concept. I like the idea of someone being so sick that it causes them to be sent home for end of life care. It's very very realistic and I like the consequences that it comes with. It'd also be fun to learn about a new kind of Healer, one that I've certainly never read a story about.

I also like that it's a Malfoy that cannot be helped. I imagine that it'd be particularly hard for a Malfoy to have to admit that there is something that magic cannot fix in their lives. I think you've set that up really well here.

What I'm not a fan of, however, is Draco's personality. He seems extremely cold and proper, which is completely fine with what he's gone through, but it seems a bit jarring so far and slightly inconsistent at times. I will reserve judgement, though, because I obviously don't know how everything ends up.

I also think that this story would work really well with more showing than telling. You have such fantastic descriptions and I feel like you could expand on them so much more and really immerse me in your story. Like I said, I really enjoy your premise and I feel like it would help me to enjoy it even more.

Really great start, I can't wait to see where you take it!

Claire

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Review #21, by Claire EvergreenThe Letters to No-One: The Letters to No-One

2nd April 2017:
GOD BLESS A STORY ABOUT THE MARAUDERS HALLELUJAH!!

Ahem...hello! I'm here for the CTF game!

Heartbreaking is pretty much the only word I can think of to describe this. You basically took my heart, ripped it out of my chest packaged it up, and chucked it across the ocean. That probably would have been less painful than this. In a good way, of course.

The raw emotions in this were so powerful that I found myself blinking back tears more than a few times. Sirius's time in Azkaban is something that I try not to think about too much because it hurts a lot. And you made it all that and then some.

I'm going to be honest, I did not read the story shell before reading the story and the whole time I was hoping that it'd be a Wolfstar piece and boy howdy was I not disappointed! I love that I was able to tell exactly who he was writing to without you ever having to say it. That alone makes this an amazing story in my opinion and the rest of it is just a cherry on top.

The structure of this is also so well done. You knew exactly when to break things off and move onto the next section. And each part hurt more than the last. It was all just so beautiful and so painful at the same time.

So, sorry if this was completely rambling and incomprehensible, I'm super tired. TL;DR: I love this story and you for writing it!

Claire

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Review #22, by Claire EvergreenJar of Hearts: Jar of Hearts

2nd April 2017:
Hello! I'm here reviewing for the Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw CTF!

So disclaimer, I'm not normally one to read stories focused on Ron and Hermione, but I really like what you've done with this one. I feel like it's kind of a trope at this point for Ron to cheat on Hermione and she leaves him, but I love the spin that you've put on this one. For one, the fact that she ends up with Neville and not Draco is certainly a welcome choice. I'd never thought about them as a couple, but the way that you've set them up in this really has me rethinking that assumption.

One thing that did put me off a but was the amount of summary that's here. Like I said, I really like the concept of this, so I feel like you could have expanded on everything more. A lot of the dialogue and description felt like you were just telling me everything instead of letting me experience it myself. The bits that you did expand on were so well done and I wish that I could have had more of your fantastic writing. Maybe each of those sections could be their own expanded chapter(she says hopefully)?

Like I said, I love how you wrote everyone in this story (except maybe Ron, but that is necessary for your plot). They really felt true to their canon characters, which is always a plus in my book. If you ever write more, I'd love to read it! You have me hooked!

Best,

Claire

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Review #23, by Claire Evergreen19226: 19226

1st April 2017:
Why hello there Sam! Here for CTF!

Honestly, this is one of the most beautifully written pieces of fiction I've ever read! The flow of it is absolutely incredible and the pacing works so perfectly. I know that this is short piece to begin with, but wow, it felt like I was only reading for two seconds! All of the metaphors and descriptions just move into each other so nicely! I honestly wish my descriptions came out this well.

The way that you crafted this around Ginny and the diary is so inspired. It fits in so well with the way that her writing in the diary is portrayed in the books. She was so dependent on Tom while she was writing to him and I love this take on what could have happened to her if she was in the Muggle World (which is where I'm assuming she is?)

Also, wow that twist. My eyes got wide when I read that line about her bracelet. It was like a punch to the gut and you built up to it so well. Everything before that was so full of tension and suspense and then everything after just slowly led us down and out of the story. I'm just so in awe of how well you captured Ginny's mental state through your prose. Everything about it is simply inspiring.

Absolutely stunning! (As per usual :P)

Claire

Author's Response: OMG SHUTUP YOU FLATTER WAY TOO MUCH THANK YOU

♥ ♥ ♥

Really, there is nothing I can say to this review but endless squeeing

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

♥ ♥ ♥

Sam.


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Review #24, by Claire EvergreenThis changes everything : Finding out

1st April 2017:
Hey! Here for CTF!

This is such a nice slice of life story! I personally find those really difficult to pull off and you've done it so brilliantly here. It's hard to strike a balance between normal everyday life and interesting enough to keep a reader's attention, but you did it really well. It was normal enough that I was able to put myself into the situation, but you kept just enough intrigue to convince me to continue on, so kudos!

I also really like how you worked with the pregnancy reveal plot line. I figured it out when she started throwing up, but even then, it didn't make me discount anything about the story. I found myself starting to doubt if that was really it or how Ron was going to react to it all. With such an overload of fluffy stories like this, I think it's easy to get lost behind cliches, but you've managed to really pull it above the rest!

I will admit that I don't read much with Hermione and Ron as main characters, but you've really locked down their personalities. I can see Hermione's ambition peeking past her more emotional side, which was really nice to see. I feel like that can be overlooked by her ambition and logic sometimes. And Ron was just completely perfect. I'm so glad that you didn't villify him at all, which I find is all too common in post Hogwarts stories.

All in all, I really enjoyed this piece of fluff! Fantastic job :)

Claire

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Review #25, by Claire EvergreenMonsters in the Dark: Monsters in the Dark

1st April 2017:
Hey! Here for CTF!

Wow...just...wow

This is so incredibly well written I'm almost speechless. The level of detail that you put into this is absolutely amazing. I was going to pick a favorite line or section, but I don't think I can after reading the whole thing. Nothing ever felt like it was too overboard with description, but I was definitely never wanting for more. It all just flowed together so well. Even though this is a longer story, it never felt too heavy or posed.

I also love love love all your characters. Astoria felt so real, like I could reach through the screen and touch her. While in another story, I may have said that she felt like too much or her character felt like it was trying too hard to be dark, she never got there in your story. She fits in so perfectly to this story and I found myself immediately wanting to go off and read the story that this is based on. It's not just Astoria either. Every single character in this has such a distinctive voice and personality that easily jumped off the page.

I'm blown away! Such an amazing story!

Claire

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