Reading Reviews From Member: Claire Evergreen
  
51 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Claire EvergreenIsabella: Thirteen Candles

22nd May 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin! Here for our swap :) Sorry it took me so long to get to this, my summer turned out to be much busier than I originally anticipated.

I love the setting in this! It sounds absolutely gorgeous, I wish I could see it in real life. Of course, the wonderful descriptions that you give re more than enough to paint a picture of everything that Isabella sees and hears and smells around her. I love that you use smell so much in this! I know that we mainly use our sight, but I feel like smell is a really underused and you did a fantastic job of including it.

Isabella is going to be a really interesting narrator. You did a great job of making her sound like she'a 13, which is not easy. She has the really innocent air about her like a lot of kids have when they're that young, like when she got distracted by her skirt or her fascination with her mother's mole. I love that you put little details like that in there, it really makes her seem real.

Oh that ending! This is a perfect setup for the rest of the story! It's going to be so interesting seeing wizardry outside of Europe, especially since you've already thrown in a few differences. I'm really glad that you chose to write about Isabella and her story!

Fantastic job, I can't wait to read more!

-Claire

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Review #2, by Claire EvergreenAll that Glitters : September 1979: Pieces

17th May 2015:
I am so incredibly sorry that this took so long. Everything has just been hectic this past week and I have had zero time to myself.

This story is absolutely incredible. I've never read anything like it before and I have read my fair share of Marauders fics. You've painted extremely vivid pictures of the settings in this, whether it be back at Hogwarts or Knockturn Alley. You have a fantastic set up in these first three chapters, all of which have me wanting to read more!

The first chapter sets up the whole story especially well. There is a lot of information that the reader does not have when reading it and it doesn't answer very many questions, but that's one of the best ways to start off a story like this one. You have the perfect balance between hardly any information and just enough and it definitely made me want to keep reading more. Even if we hadn't agreed to swap for three chapters, I would have kept reading anyways!

I saw in your author's note at the beginning of chapter two that you originally didn't have the story set up with the flashbacks of sorts and I have to say, I love that you've included them! It's a brilliant way to introduce Eleanor to the readers and give her a backstory, possibly making what she does in the future (1979) story line more understandable.

Eleanor in the flashback was wonderful. I already love her character from when she was at Hogwarts and I'm so excited to get to see more of her back then. Plus, she's a Hufflepuff, so that already makes her even better. Even though she is a Puff, she definitely doesn't seem like she fits the usual stereotype, which is fantastic. I think she comes across as sort of the average Joe, but there is something else underneath of that that makes her stand out. I mean, anyone that can hold their own against Sirius is okay in my books.

Speaking of Sirius, I really loved how you wrote him and Peter in chapter two. Sirius was almost exactly as I imagined him. He has that cocky, arrogant attitude that is almost universally accepted by everyone, but he also has that joking and carefree air about him that I love. Peter was perfect as well! So many people ignore him in their fics and forget that he was actually a part of the Marauders. I know I have trouble trying to figure out how to accurately put him into my story, so I'm extremely jealous that you have been able to do it so easily!

I did notice one typo in the third chapter: The look on my fave must have been formidable. - I think it's supposed to be face.

I'm so excited to figure out what caused such a dramatic change between '76 and '79. There's a lot in '76 that makes me want to know more. Like, why was she avoiding everyone from her House? What made her say this- Not more from a house that had proved they weren’t as loyal and steadfast as everyone thought we were.- about her Housemates? What's going to happen between her and Sirius that caused that reaction at the end of chapter three?

This story is so amazing! I'm adding it to my favorites so I can keep up with it! Thank you so much for doing this swap!

-Claire

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Review #3, by Claire EvergreenThe Shadows Within: Chapter 3 - Sirius's Summer

12th May 2015:
Hey! Back again for another review swap :) (because I just can't seem to stay away!)

I love that you've included a lot about classes here. A lot of fics tend to just gloss over them in favor of other story lines, but I think that takes a lot away from the story. After all, they do go to a school, so a large portion of their time is spent in classes and interacting with each other that way. Even just the little snipets that you give us at the beginning are perfect to set the scene and remind readers that, first and foremost, these are still kids who go to school and have normal teenage problems.

I also love how you write the relationship between Lily and the Marauders, especially wth James. It's the perfect balance of vague dislike and "I guess we're actually friends" that a lot of people like to skip over in favor of shoving them together almost instantly. There really is a bit of mutual respect there under both of their attitudes, which is absolutely fantastic. As Lily spends more time with James, I can totally picture them ending up together and not just because I know that it has to happen.

Aw, Sirius baby :'( The part about his brother made me so sad because I always imagined that they at least got along a little bit given what we know his brother ends up doing, but this way makes a lot of sense as well, even if it did break my heart a little bit. You nailed Sirius's reaction to Lily's comment perfectly. He always seemed like the person who would hide stuff behind a carefree attitude, but would be quick to drop it when he really felt strongly about something.

Another wonderful chapter, as always. I can't wait to read more, especially since I'm less than 24 hours away from summer!

-Claire

Author's Response: I can't seem to stay away from your story either, so I guess that makes these numerous swaps good for both of us. =)

I definitely agree about classes. Just because it isn't a OWL or NEWT year doesn't mean that they won't be spending time in classes or studying. And, let's be honest, I had quite a few chats and gossiping sessions with my friends in high school classes... and we were the enriched kids!

Yes to striking a balance in their relationship. I mean, if Lily was yelling all those things at James in June of 1976 but ended up dating him (most likely) in late 1977 there would have had to have been a fairly steady, long lasting change. I think I'm slowly but surely showing the shift in that direction, although there will be bumps along the way.

And yes to Sirius. :( I mean, in a companion thing I'm working on you do see that he and Regulus were not always like this. I imagine the breaking point was very rough on both of them though, so at least for a while he would be very hurt by it.

I'm looking forward to seeing you around more (and seeing you writing more :P) once summer starts! Thanks for the lovely review again. =)


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Review #4, by Claire EvergreenBeat It: Beat It

11th May 2015:
Hey! Here for our swap!

So ever since I read one fic with Roxanne as a main character, I have been in love with her and I already love your version of her! I love that you've thrown in more traditional "girly" things with a strong Beater. It's becoming much less common now to make the two mutually exclusive, but I still feel like I should point it out. Either way, I still love Roxanne. She seems like the kind of person who wouldn't take crap from anyone, but still has a softer side that will probably come out at some point.

Violet is fantastic. No matter who you are, you always need a friend like her. I'm already excited to see what happens with her as the story goes on. At least from this, she seems like she'll be a great friend to Roxanne and I already am in love with her (being a Seeker does help a bit too :P)

Not gonna lie, I was getting a bit of a Romeo and Juliet vibe from Roxanne and Jason, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't care how attractive his body is, his personality absolutely sucks. He seems like the typical jerk whose Qudditch skills have gone to his head and Roxanne should most certainly run for the hills and never go near that even if they're the last two people on earth...yeah, I really don't like him, can you tell? :P

I'm all about a story about Qudditch with Roxanne as the main character, so you can be sure that I will be back!

-Claire

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Review #5, by Claire EvergreenSummer Herbology: [I.]

10th May 2015:
Hey, Julie! I'm so excited to read this since I saw at least a little bit of the process during camp :)

Oh. My. Goodness. Is this going to be a person A falls in love with person B but they're best friends so person A just doesn't say anything until person B eventually finds out and everything explodes kind of fic? Because if so, I am 100%, without a doubt here for this! This is pretty much one of my favorite cliches of all time (and one that I use much too often, but that's beside the point). I'm so excited for all of this to happen now!

You have me completely sold on Rhys. He is just so adorable and I know I'm going to love him. Well, I already do, but anyways. His snark is fantastic and I love that he's a wallflower Hufflepuff because they need so much more recognition. He is such a teenager, which is fantastic because I can completely relate to him about everything. The schoolwork, the arguments with the parental figure, the crush on someone that is pretty much off limits, everything. He is going to be such a fun person to get the story from and I can't wait to see his relationship with Ben as everything progresses.

Oh, my goodness, Molly!!! I freaking love her already. The wit and the banter and the fact that she is a perfect compliment to Rhys. I am extremely guilty of always shoving Molly into the background in my fics and then I don't think I've ever read anything with her as a major character, so that's something else that I'm super excited to read about! I'm really excited to see the fallout from her telling Payton about her feelings and if that might ever end up being something...

This is fantastic! I mean, I always love your writing, but it's still always fun to see how you write everything out and bring different characters to life! Can't wait for you to update with more chapters!

-Claire

Author's Response: HEY!

Hehe, you got to see all my whining and now it's finally here!

YEAH IT IS, EXPLOSIONS AND ALL. Kind of. There might be plant accidents instead of explosions. I love the cliche too :D Best friends tropes are sooo fun.

Ah, yay, I'm glad you like Rhys! He's a little wallflower, but I don't think I could write a character that isn't at least a little bit sarcastic. I definitely wanted to make him a 'typical' teenager, and the scene in the car where he's sighing and exaggerating everything going on I felt fit that.

I LOVE MOLLY. I'm glad you love her already. She's so fun to write. And, SAME. I started a fic years ago with Lucy as a main character and so now I had to give Molly her chance to shine.

And Molly/Payton, we'll have to see...

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it, and a;lkdjf that's such a nice compliment. Thank you thank you!

Julie


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Review #6, by Claire EvergreenMeals With Muggles : Burgers And Chips

10th May 2015:
Hey, Kaitlin, here for our swap!

Awww, this is so cute! I've always imagined that Dudley ended up marrying a witch, but I never thought it could be like this! And Dudlietta is the best ship name.

I love the way that you wrote Dudley, I can totally seem him being like this after they left. He does seem like he's grown up a lot from the boy who bullied Harry just because he could. The fact that he works for Grunnings is both sad and understandable. Dudley always seemed like the guy who was going to grow up to be average, the complete opposite of his cousin. It makes sense that he would work for the same company as his father, but it also makes me sad because I at least felt like he had the potential to be much more, even if he never acted on it. And then his reaction when he found out that Marietta was a witch was perfectly spot on and I love the details that you've put in here.

Marietta is wonderful. I honestly hadn't even considered what effect being labeled a sneak was after her sixth year, but I love what you did with it. Given Hermione's talent, it wouldn't be surprising if it did take that much effort to finally remove the pimples from her face. After an ordeal like that, I definitely wouldn't blame her for getting out of the wizarding world as soon as she possibly could.

From what you've written here, she and Dudley seem like they woudl be an absolutely adorable couple! Maybe you might even be persuaded to write more of them? ...she says hopefuly

Fantastic story and thanks for doing the swap!

-Claire

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Review #7, by Claire EvergreenFounders Four: Pillars of the Ages: Chapter one: The Beginning

9th May 2015:
Hey! Here for our swap :)

So I rarely...okay, never read Founders fics, but I'm really glad that I picked this one!

Now, normally, I would say the whole fairy tale like thing, but I think that it really works well for a Founders era fic and you pull it off really well. It never interrupts the story and the little bits where you pull back and address the reader as the narrator make me feel like I'm reading an adventure/fairy tale.

As for the characters themselves, I love them. We only got a brief glimpse of Salazar, but I can totally see him growing up into the kind of person who would hide a giant monster in a school for children and then peace out before telling any of the others about it. His mother's comment about him being like his father "back when" definitely makes me interested in what his dad is like and if it's anything like the Salazar the books talk about.

Godric is absolutely spot on. He is so much like the Gryffindor House we know and live. He's impulsive and out spoken and definitely brave if what he thinks Ingvar is like is true. He seems like the type of guy who would buy a round for the whole bar one minute and then pick a fight the next. He's so much like yoru typical action hero, it's fantastic! You've done a fantastic job with him!

I'm so glad that I got to read this story! Thanks again for doing the swap, I can't wait to read your review!

-Claire

Author's Response: Thanks Claire! I'm so happy you enjoyed it, which makes me feel even worse about chapter three taking so long!

Although, I wonder why you say that about Salazar, as no one else has said so until now, and I'm curious. It seems everyone is seeing different things in that short clip from his character. It's actually really interesting how that's turning out.

I agree about Godric in some traits, but he won't be nearly as predictable as you may think. Just let that sink in and wonder what I mean by that. As I'm the one writing, there are quite a few things I can say you're yet to see.

Anyway, ominous note aside, thanks for the review!


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Review #8, by Claire EvergreenActions Speak Louder than Words: Blown Away: Scorpius POV

9th May 2015:
Hey Beth! Here for the swap!

Ah, I'm so excited that we get a peek into Scorpius's mind (which, you know, I should have guessed by the chapter titles, but we'll ignore that haha). It's going to be so cool seeing multiple sides of the story as it progresses.

Alright, so I'm going to hold off on assuming some of the things that I said in my last review because we definitely get a different idea of Scorpius here. Even in the flashback, there's still that little but if a temper that gives me a weird feeling about what happened between him and Rose, but he seems much more vulnerable here. I have no idea if I'm correct or not, but I'm 99% sure that Scorpius is not exactly the good guy in this, but it was really nice to look into his mind.

Oh my goodness! That whole thing with his parents was absolutely awful! Now I want to know why that happened and why it seemed like his mother knew about it beforehand.

I can see why everyone loves this story so much! I'm hooked! Thanks for agreeing to do the swap with me!

-Claire

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Review #9, by Claire EvergreenActions Speak Louder than Words: Bent: Rose POV

9th May 2015:
Hey, Beth! Finally here for our swap!

I love the way that you introduce characters. You never have to outright say "oh, he likes to party" or "she is really outspoken." Everything is shown and nothing is straight out told to us. Like, we get the idea that Fred is more than likely a womanizer and Dom is extremely outspoken and can be over the top. I love reading stories that allow us to get to know the characters as we read instead of an info dump at the beginning.

Speaking of characterization, Scorpius kinda creeps the daylights out of me. Originally, I thought it was kind of sweet how he went over to Rose and they started to talk, but when I went back, it seemed like she was kind of on edge around him until she had a few drinks. Don't get me wrong, he seemed to at least care about her a little bit, but it seemed extremely protective and the line He was often angry. definitely does not have a very positive connotation. It also makes me wonder if there was a connection between that and when Rose was attacked...

With the attack, you also did a wonderful job conveying her helplessness both during and after, I think it was interesting to note how much she hated feeling helpless, which led me to believe that she wasn't always like that. I mean, obviously she has changed after whatever happened to her, but her reactions definitely made it seem like she didn't like who she has become.

I love this story so far! I can't wait to read some more!

-Claire

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Review #10, by Claire EvergreenThe Shadows Within: Chapter 2 - The First Week

8th May 2015:
Hey, Rheanyra. Back again for the swap :)

Side note, I continue to be impressed by your face claims and am seriously (hehe, get it?) contemplating my own.

Anyway, Professor Kettleburn cracked me up. I had always imagined him as a more reserved Hagrid and from what you wrote, that seems to be what you thought of as well. Lily's internal monologue during the whole class was perfect and I can just imagine everyone questioning his sanity at that point.

I really love your Remus. He's got just enough sense about him for it to be plausible that he was chosen as a prefect, the fact that he was as much a part of the Marauders' pranks and shenanigans as James and Sirius, which too often is ignored in favor of the brief glimpse of him that we get in Snape's Memory.

Lily trying to figure out where to sit in Transfiguration broke my heart. I knew that severing (I swear, I'm not doing these on purpose) ties with Snape would be emotionally draining on her, but I never stopped to think about her having to see him every day and adjust her entire schedule since he was her best friend. I felt so awful for her and then so happy when James tried to stand up for her (but was completely shut down).

Those last few paragraphs after Lily talked to James was wonderful. You can see the little of something that she's starting to feel for him, which is freaking fantastic because I absolutely cannot stand when she just starts liking him our of nowhere in their seventh year. I love how you've established that even if she doesn't like him, she can at least tolerate him and is slightly willing to spend time with him and his friends.

I'm so excited to read more of this, you've set up such a believable and interesting story (and I'm still interested to see when the Voldemort thing comes in?)

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire. Thanks for swapping with me again!

Oh, the puns in your review are so bad! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far and that you like my characterizations (and face claims haha). There are so many things at play and everybody is three dimensional with complex personalities, so things need to be shades of grey.

As for Kettleburn, I figure he's probably a bit less risky than Hagrid but the man did lose parts of multiple limbs, so he couldn't be TOO reserved

The Voldemort thing is a bit of a slow build. There are some mentions of Death Eater events/abductions/killings and I think it's somewhere in the ballpark of chapter 4 or 5 that there's another glimpse into Julius Avery and what he's up to. (This is all progressing much slower than I intended when I started, so Chapter 9 is still in October. *blushes*)

Thanks again. =)


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Review #11, by Claire EvergreenAll or Nothing: there is a light that never goes out

8th May 2015:
Hey, Kristin! Here for our review swap!

Trust me, you have absolutely nailed Bellatrix's POV. Even with her as a child, you could still tell that it's Bellatrix. The mannerisms, the speech pattern, the thoughts, it is all perfect and screams Bella.

The first section with her as a child was amazing. It's hard to imagine someone like her as ever being a child, so that can't have been easy to write. And little Andromeda and Narcissa were fantastic additions and really showed the dynamic between the three sisters. That whole scene reminds me of the time I heard a woman tell her child that killing bugs was the first sign of becoming a serial killer and while it seemed funny at the time, it certainly takes on a whole new meaning when applied to Bella.

The second part was so hauntingly beautiful. I never really thought Bella would be capable of truly loving anyone, no matter what the gender, but the way you wrote the whole thing was simply amazing. It was wonderful to see a (somewhat) softer and more vulnerable side to Bella, one that I don't think I ever considered her having before. Not only was the characterization amazing, the emotions and the writing were also spot on. I can't over the fact that you actually managed to make me feel somewhat bad for Bellatrix Lestrange.

The third part was definitely more like the Bellatrix I know and love to hate. We all knew that she was more than a little bit unhinged when she was sent to Azkaban, but to get into her mind and see what she was thinking was eerie to say the least. I'm so intrigued as to who this mystery woman was and how she was able to get into Bella's head like that. She had to have been one heck of a person to be able to do that.

This is absolutely amazing and I'm so glad that you agreed to the swap because I probably would have never read it otherwise! Thanks for swapping!

-Claire

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Review #12, by Claire EvergreenMurphy's Law: Chapter One

8th May 2015:
Hey, Vicki! Here for our swap :)

I am so glad that I picked this story to read because it sounds like it is going to be both adorable and hilarious.

Pippa sounds like she's going to be a wonderful narrator. Even though this is a really brief snapshot of some of the characters who I assume are going to be the focal point of the story, I can already tell that I'm going to love Pippa. She's funny and witty and down to earth and I can't wait to get to know her and her friends.

The idea of James as Pippa's stalker is absolutely hilarious to me, just because he's usually portrayed as the playboy or the guy that everyone wants to be with. I can already tell that it's going to be so amusing to see the interactions between him and Pippa.

This is such an interesting concept for a story and one I'm extremely excited to get to read more of. I never would have though of using Murphy's Law as a plot device, but you've done a great job setting it all up. I know in your author's note you said that this is way out of your comfort zone, but do not worry because you're doing a marvelous job here! I can't wait to read more!

-Claire

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Review #13, by Claire EvergreenCuriosity Is Not a Sin: An Encounter in the Library

8th May 2015:
Hey, Branwen! Here for the BvB Battle!

So, I've actually read this whole story, but I've been meaning to review this chapter in particular for a while now, so this was a perfect excuse to do it!

I know that I've said this in a previous review, but I really really love your Rose and I this chapter really highlights a lot of what I love. There's the brief mention that she is a diligent note taker, but there's also the fact that she's quick to go straight to her wand when confronted with Scorpius and she refuses to admit that she was wrong. She's that perfect balance between Hermione and Ron. Also, she really embodies the idea that the Sorting Hat puts people in the House with the traits they value most, not the ones that they present.

Noah is also a sweetheart. As much as I love your main characters (and I do, I really do), your side characters are just so wonderful. Noah is the perfect contrast to Scorpius and it's fantastic that Rose is at least slightly friends with a Slytherin. And the fact that it's with Noah is just an added bonus.

Alright, I saved this part for the end because I know I was going to go crazy fangirling about it but OH MY GOD THE BANTER IN THIS KILLED ME! “Well, I definitely didn’t miss the part about cold showers, so I’m sure there must be some situations where my mouth being open would be welcome enough.” Reading this the first time, I had to literally cover my mouth and bite my lip to keep from busting out laughing because I was in the library. This was just so wonderful and such a Rose thing to say. And then Scorpius's reply had me on the floor again. I mean, all of the banter in this story is on point, but this was the best one in the whole story hands down.

This entire story is fantastic, but I just really had to review this one :P I'm really jealous of your banter skills because mine are very sadly lacking. Wonderful story and one day I will get to The Wrinkles of the Road!

-Claire

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Review #14, by Claire EvergreenThe Shadows Within: Chapter 1 - Hogwarts Again

7th May 2015:
Back for the BvB Battle!

There is pretty much nothing I don't like about this chapter. And when I say pretty much, I mean literally nothing.

I could go on an on and on about characterization, but I'll try to keep myself from rambling :P Lily was absolutely brilliant. I love that she still has her (basically) trademark genius status, but you took it so far beyond that and it was wonderful. I love love love love that she is sorta kinda maybe friends with James and that she isn't at his throat for no reason at all like some fics tend to do. She also stands up for herself in a way that isn't in your face or too over the top. Even from this one chapter, you can tell that she isn't afraid to stand up for herself, but she's also not just a cut-throat jerk or a complete goody-two-shoes.

James is also perfect. I will preface all of this with the disclaimer that I have a very specific and detailed headcanon about James Potter and he's literally my favorite fictional character of all time. But having said that, I love how you've written him. I know we didn't see much, but I can not thank you enough for not making him a self-absorbed jerk who is constantly harassing Lily about going out with him. He's an actual human being who is actually mature and can control himself. Just...thank you and bless you.

PETER!! Oh my goodness, this is incredible. I will admit, I have read my share of Marauders fics (can you tell it's favorite era? :P) and never have I ever read one that characterizes Peter like you have here. And I adore it. I know that I struggle a lot with how to write Peter so I am incredibly jealous that you have managed to do it so perfectly. Curse you!

Also, Sirius as a Muggle/Muggleborn rights activist? Not a job that I'd ever pick for him in a million years, but somehow it makes perfect sense? With everything that's happened to him, he'd be amazing at it. And that little comment about arguing with his parents, while slightly humorous, made me want to cry. But I'm so excited to see how you continue to write him because I love what you've done so far.

And then that comment that you made about Aurora and Divination (that I sadly can't quote in her)? I died, it was so funny and completely caught me off guard. It was perfect!

Wow, this is so incredibly good, I cannot wait to read more! You have me completely hooked!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire! Glad to see you again. =)

I'm glad you love the characterization. I was grinning like an idiot and nodding along as I read all your comments. I have worked really hard to a) make Lily not sound like a temper-losing maniac and b) show James as a relatively kind, real person.

As for Peter, I really am trying to make it sound like he was a decent friend and that he would be trusted enough. Later (the most recent chapter, I believe) you do see some signs of questionable judgement from him though. In your story (I just read Chapter 3!) you're already miles ahead by showing him as a proper person and giving him lines.

Sirius's future career totally made sense to me for somebody who wanted to show how different he was than his family. (Also, I wanted to not make everybody go into the Ministry lol.)

Aurora & Divination lol. I know the line you mean and I'm glad it made you laugh.

Thanks again for such a sweet review! =)


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Review #15, by Claire EvergreenA Christmas in Azkaban: A Flickering Flame

7th May 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

So Sirius is one of my absolute favorite characters and even though he is pretty much out of his mind at this point, his characterization is absolutely brilliant. I'v never thought too much about what it was like for him in Azkaban (because it is just too sad and depressing for me to think about), but you've nailed it.

I can't even begin to explain how this whole thing made me feel, I'm still trying to process everything. I'll probably have to read it a few more times before I'm sure, but wow, this is amazing, I'm so glad that I got to read it!

-Claire

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, I tried really hard with this one. Thanks so much for the swap!

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Review #16, by Claire EvergreenThe Shadows Within: Prologue

7th May 2015:
Hey, Rhaenyra! Here for our swap!

Before I start, can I just say that Spohie Turner as Lily is an absolutely brilliant face claim and although I'm 100% sold on Bryce Dallas Howard, she is definitely one that I'm going to have to remember.

Anyway.

I know I reviewed a one shot about this for the BvB Battle a while back, so I'm so glad that I get to actually get into the story!

Voldemort in this is so spot on it's actually terrifying. He was just so creepy and unnerving and it was perfect. It actually got worse when I realized at this point, he still looked like an actual person and not like he was after Goblet of Fire. I could feel the tension in the room and felt just as scared as everyone else (minus Bellatrix probably because let's be real, this is her dream come true).

Also, this is such a brilliant way to set up the story. Obviously we know it's a Marauders story, but starting with the Death Eaters and Voldemort's secret plan definitely intrigues me and makes me want to keep on reading. This is exactly how you want to get a reader's attention and get them to want to invest time into your story.

I'm sorry this is on the shorter side, but I think I see that you are the next person in the BvB Battle, so hopefully I can snap that up before someone else gets to it. Keep an eye out for another review that should be coming your way!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire!

I just googled Bryce Dallas Howard and I love the look of her. I totally can see her as well.

Ahh, I'm glad you like (hate?) Voldemort. I think the part that he looks more normal was part of the thing that was creepy at this time. Rather than being like a supernatural villain, he was more like an actual person. And, of course, Bellatrix loves him much more than some of the others.

I'm glad the start intrigued you. I was hoping this would do that rather than a start-on-the-train beginning.

Thanks again! =)


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Review #17, by Claire EvergreenOh My Darling: 1

7th May 2015:
Hey Cassie! Here for our swap!

So I love your characters, but the beginning of this seemed a bit..forced? I think? Especially the first line Clementine Amelia Moore was not like a lot of girls her age kind of put me off at first. But, like I said, I love the characters that you've set up, so this is a minor thing really. It goes back to the whole "show, not tell" thing that we always have drilled into us. I think you would really grab readers' attention if you started with your fourth paragraph. From there we get a fantastic sense of the characters and all of the interactions are so extremely helpful for characterization. There isn't anything wrong with your introduction, you just have such a wonderful introduction of the characters after the first three paragraphs, I think you are a good enough writer that you can really sell us on these characters without telling us exactly what's happening.

Going off of that, you have such amazing banter here. You can really get a sense of the characters and the differences between them. Clementine can still hold her own against Lizzie's stronger personality, but you can tell that if they were in a group, she would shrink back behind the more outgoing girl. I love their dynamic and you have such a fantastic grasp of dialogue. I may be a bit biased, but I love that they're Ravenclaws, it really is the most unappreciated House (...and there's the bias :P). I really like that even if Clementine (which is a fantastic name btw) is a more stereotypical Ravenclaw, Lizzie is definitely not, which is absolutely wonderful.

OH MY GOD THAT LAST LINE!!! Wow, that is so freaking good! What a perfect way to set up the rest of the story and tie everything in this chapter together. Just...gah, I have nothing coherent to say about the end, just know it's absolutely perfect!

This is such a great set up and I really hope that the first part didn't come across as too harsh, that definitely wasn't how I meant it. I really do love this story and I'll have to come back and read chapter two! Amazing job!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire!
The first couple paragraphs were tricky for me to write, because I'm trying a narration style that's very different from what I usually write. Since I break the fourth wall, and address the fact that I'm telling a story, I think finding a balance of speaking directly to the reader while still showing is what's hard.
I'm so glad you like Clementine and Lizzie! Their dynamic is one that I have with a lot of my friends, because Clem and I are very similar. Clementine is a stereotypical Ravenclaw at the moment, and has been since she got to Hogwarts, but hopefully by the end of this, that will have changed a little bit.
Haha thank you! The last line was one that I felt really good about as soon as I wrote it.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this so much! I hope to see you back here again!
Cassie :)


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Review #18, by Claire EvergreenAn Inconvenient Repercussion: Chapter 1

4th May 2015:
Hey Kaitlin! Here for the swap :)

I've never read anything with Blaise before, so it was interesting to see your take on him. Everything that I know comes from random snipets or brief things that I've read in the background of other fics. Basically, all I knew about him was that he was friends with Draco and that his mom remarried a lot.

I loved the structure and organization of this. An inconvenient repercussion of husband number two. That’s all I’ll ever be, at least according to my mother. Like, what a hook! The way that you start off with a very brief and emotional introduction and then move onto the back story. When you put in that note in the end about this probably being a conversation to the Aurors made so much sense. I could definitely see this as his confession to the authorities for a trial.

Blaise was also wonderfully characterized. I think sometimes it could be difficult to get an idea of a character from a first person perspective, but you've been able to paint a really clear picture of him. The whole thing made me almost cry and when his mother came back and tried to manipulate him into giving her money. It kinda made me think of "Cell Block Tango" at the end. You know the whole "If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would, have done the same." Obviously killing people is a crime, but if anyone deserved it, she did.

I absolutely loved his mother as a character, but absolutely hated her as a person. Normally, when there's an abusive parent, it's the dad, not the mom, so having it flipped was (wow this is totally the wrong word, but I'm going to use it anyways) refreshing. Women can be abusers too. But they way you wrote her, I just wanted to reach through the screen and throttle her. All of the awful things she said and did to Blaise, she completely deserved what happened to her.

I also love the Malfoys in this. They're usually characterized as evil and heartless, especially Lucius, but seeing a more caring side of them was wonderful. You can say what you want about the Malfoys, but they did truly love their son, so seeing how they took care of Blaise was fantastic. Narcissa was wonderful and you could really tell that she loved Blaise like a son.

Oh my gosh, the twist at the end! I definitely didn't see it coming, but wow! I know I've mentioned before that she got what she deserved, so I won't keep harping on about that, but wow! The visuals and the energy in that scene was fantastic! I loved it and it was such a perfect way to end the story.

Wow, this was so great! I'm so glad that I got to read it because I never would have if we didn't do the swap. Amazing job!!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire,

Before writing this story, I didn't know much about Blaise either. It was actually a bit of a struggle coming up with a story to write about him.

I'm glad that the first line hooked you. I always work really hard to try and find something gripping to start with. I'm glad you can imagine this as testimony or a confession because that's exactly how I see this in my mind.

CAN I JUST TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM THAT YOU'VE INCLUDED A REFERENCE TO CHICAGO IN THIS?!!

OK, seriously though. I love that musical and the minute I read your thought about it being similar to the cell block tango I was so excited. I absolutely feel that Blaise's actions are almost justified by his mother's horrible mistreatment of him.

Women can definitely be abusers. I've seen some pretty awful mothers in my lifetime (not my own thankfully). I just thought it was such an interesting relationship to play with. I'm glad that you wanted to throttle Valentina because she deserves a good throttling.

I know that the Malfoy's are usually shown as evil and uncaring, but I think that's a biased view. We only ever see them through Harry's eyes in the books and he hates them, so of course they come across awfully. I imagine that if you were a Pureblood child, they would probably treat you quite well.

I'm happy that you liked the ending. It was a tough one to write, but I'm kind of glad it's finally over for Blaise.

Thanks so much for reading this!

~Kaitlin






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Review #19, by Claire EvergreenSeek and Chase: Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

3rd May 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle.

For as much Next Gen as I've read, I can honestly say that I've only ever read maybe one or two other fics with Lily as a main character, so I'm really excited for this!

I never really thought about Lily much until I started writing a fic with her, but I really love your characterization of her. She comes across as a real person and not just a collection of similar traits. The crossover between Quidditch and academics with her is perfect. I know that the two aren't mutually exclusive, but they tend to be in fics, so to see Lily excel in both is wonderful. Her complete indifference to prefect duties is also really interesting, so I'm definitely interested in the reason she received the badge and not someone else.

Normally, I'm a stickler for canon, but I'm really excited to get to know the other Malfoy children that you've mentioned here. Sagitta sounds really interesting and from what we've seen, she compliments Lily really well. I really like Amanda as well, but that may just be because I'm partial to anyone related to Lee :P

Jacob definitely is the most interesting character here, though. I'm intrigued as to why Sagitta would say that he's been in classes with them for the past four years when he hasn't, as well as what is going to happen between him and Lily (because come on, we all know that it's going to happen at one point or another...she says hopefully). I can definitely relate to Lily here, but if he's as attractive and nice as he seems, I would not blame her one bit for hooking up with him.

This is absolutely fantastic! I'm definitely stopping by for more when I have time.

-Claire

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Review #20, by Claire EvergreenActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

2nd May 2015:
Hey, Beth! Here for the BvB Battle!

This is probably one of the best introductory chapters for a story that I've read. There's so much information thrown in here, but it never feels like too much. From this, we get a good idea of each of the characters without evening having to meet any of them. Relating Al to Ginny and highlighting the fact that Dom is very much like the Weasley side of the family. Even with never meeting Selenia, we still know a lot about her from the descriptions that we got through Rose's thoughts.

And speaking of Rose's thoughts, the constant repetition of Get up, wash, get dressed was really powerful. It's gives an idea of Rose's mental state without having to say flat out what is bothering her. The different formatting of each repetition made it that much strong, especially he bold. It made it apparent that whatever was bothering her was getting stronger at that particular moment. It was really really well done.

I also love Rose's characterization in this. I don't really know how to explain it, but her mannerisms and thought processes are fascinating and I can tell she's already going to be an extremely interesting character to get to know as the story progresses. She seems like she's really complex and she comes across as a real person, not just some flat character.

I'm really excited to see where this goes, I'm especially excited to see what the event that triggered all of this. Fantastic story! I can't wait to read more!

-Claire

Author's Response: Claire!

This review - gah! You're killing me.

I'm always excited when someone picks this story to review because I've put so, so much into it. And then I get even MORE excited when I get such a lovely review as this one! My hope with this first chapter is that people want to keep reading my story. (and I feel like you might want to continue it - hopefully)

I know that it is yet ANOTHER Rose/Scorpius story - and that may be a turnoff to some folks, but I did try to characterize Rose a bit different that I've seen her before - and you picked up on it. It's just so awesome to get a review where the reader found all the little details you put into your story!

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #21, by Claire EvergreenDark Birthright: A Meeting with Dumbledore

2nd May 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

Well this certainly answers a lot of questions from the last chapter! I very much enjoy how you've set up the the premise but are only giving us a little snipets of the answers as we go along. While as the reader I find it frustrating (in the good, "I need to know what happens now!" kind of way), it definitely keeps people coming back to get all of their questions answered. I do like how you gave us a lot of information (without dumping too much on us at once), but at the same time, you've only scratched the surface of everything that we're going to find out.

I just have one or two little tiny formatting/grammar nitpicks:

“Yes”, said Julia, he was a good student and he grew to be a good man too. I think you're missing a comma before the he.

had written an account of his family history which he (Pepys) had hidden This is just my opinion, so feel free to ignore it, but since this is dialogue, I think it would look smoother if Pepys was set off by commas instead of parentheses.

I really like Julia's no nonsense attitude. It's not in your face, but she has a very professional air about her. I know in this chapter it's probably because of the person she's talking to, but I'd really like to see her in a more casual setting just to see if the professionalism disappears (or maybe just see her at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. That would be good enough for me :P).

The way you wrote Dumbledore is spot on. The language did seem a bit stiff at points, but it seemed to work and if it was anyone but Dumbledore, I would have said it didn't work, but it does here. He seems to stay very true to the books, so great job for that!

You have a really great story going here! I'm definitely going to be coming back for more! Fantastic job!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi, thanks so much for that. I'll take a look a the things you pointed out, that particular passage is one I have never felt entirely happy with to be honest, so I guess I should rethink it.

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Review #22, by Claire EvergreenMap Makers: Map Makers

20th April 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

I haven't read The Shadows Within, but if it is anything like this, I'll definitely have to check it out!

I love love love the characterization here. James is pretty much one of my favorite characters ever and I love how you wrote him here! You can really tell that he's young, but he still has those traits that we would recognize in an older James. He's smart and adventurous and has an obvious loyalty to his friends. The way that he was disappointed that they hadn't found anything yet and how he wanted to jump right in explore the passageway fit perfectly to what we know about him and worked really well to show his age.

Remus was perfect as well and I love how you include him sneaking around with James. So many times people write him as never getting into any trouble with the others, which is so false. I like how he's the one to go with James all the time and you still threw in him being the "smart" one in way with the comments about the classrooms and waiting to explore the passage.

This is such a cute one-shot and really fits in with how these characters actually act! I'll have to check out The Shadows Within because I'm already in love with your characterization! Great job!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi Claire! Thanks for stopping by for the BvB review battle.

This is about four years before The Shadows Within and, as you must have noticed, had a lack of OCs so it can stand alone. (Although their is a Claire in TSW!)

I'm happy to hear that you liked how James & Remus were portrayed in this, since they are a few years younger than we even saw in Snape's Worst Memory. And yes to Remus not being a goody-two-shoes... I always thought he may be more considerate than the others and less likely to get caught, but he couldn't have been friends with the others if he wasn't willing to pull pranks and break the rules.

Thanks for such a sweet review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. =)


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Review #23, by Claire EvergreenMultiverse Theory: Coffee Shop Etude

15th April 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

Ahh this is so freaking cute! I haven't read may Jily stories (even though they're one of my favorite fictional couples) and I hardly ever read AUs, but this is just too adorable! I'm so glad that I found it.

I love Lily in this! I know it's an AU, but she just fits her character so well with everything that she does. I really like the idea of her as a romance writer and the fact that she likes big, grand, sweeping gestures, it's just so Lily, you know? Well, obviously you know, you wrote it.

Her interaction with James was too cute! Her nervousness and everything and then his confidence was just so perfect! That is exactly what they would be like if they hadn't known each other at Hogwarts. You really nailed the characterizations here.

And oh my gosh, James!! He is my favorite character of all time and I love him here, even though he's just in a really small part. I never in a million years would have thought of him as a musician, but it just works so well. What made you think of him as a keyboard player? Because I couldn't tell you why, but it just fits him really well.

This is just so cute! Fantastic job!

-Claire

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Review #24, by Claire EvergreenL'optimisme: Silence

14th April 2015:
Hey! Here for the BvB Battle!

Wow.

I'm honestly at a loss for words. Obviously I've heard of this story before, but I've never really been interested in Albus stories, but wow. This is incredible. I'm trying to think of words to describe it but I can't. Everything about this is stunning and it's only the first chapter. I can't even imagine what the rest looks like if the beginning is this fantastic.

The entire first section of this is flawless. I was trying to pick out a favorite quote or something that I wanted to comment on, but every time I thought I'd found one, I read the next line and went "no wait, I like this one more." After reading even that little bit, it's no surprise to me that this won the Dobby for Best Quote.

Your descriptions are amazing. I could picture every last detail that you included here. It was like you were painting a picture in my mind and I love every last bit of it. I'm nerding out over this and I'm trying to write something intelligent down here, but I'm having a hard time doing that.

I learned that day that silence is, in the end, far more deadly to the soul than any words could ever possibly be or could ever hope to be, no matter whose voice speaks them or in what order they come. So obviously I love every single line in this story, but I really really like this one. Like, wow, I wish that I could just randomly spout out any lines this deep.

I apologize if this was completely incoherent or if it made no sense, but I'm just in love with this. This is absolutely incredible, I can't believe that I almost missed out on reading it.

-Claire

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Review #25, by Claire EvergreenThe Defenders: Prologue

12th April 2015:
Hey there! Here for the BvB Battle :)

I love how you started off the beginning of this. The whole thing with Clara's grandfather's funeral was an extremely effective way of setting the scene and introducing the main character. Right off the bat, we know that Clara is a witch, but she is able to blend into the Muggle world quite easily just like her grandfather and we know exactly when the story is taking place. I also really like the way that you slip in the information about the disappearances in a more casual way so that the reader knows that it is going to be important later.

I also really liked how you introduced all of the characters. It seemed more natural to get their accomplishments and everything from Clara instead of having Dixon state what everyone did. It showed that most of the people were extremely important and relevant to society, which gives the organization itself more credibility.

Clara is a really wonderful MC. I like how you made a point to say that she is extremely powerful and talented, but you didn't have her either brush off the compliment and put herself down or go around bragging about her talent. It came across as very realistic, even if the subject itself isn't.

You set up the rest of the story really nicely with this chapter, it explained everything really well. Great job!

-Claire

Author's Response: Heyy!

Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm smiling like an idiot right now with all the lovely words!

Thank you! I wasn't sure how to start the story at first and then the funeral came to mind so i'm glad it works!! Thank you! I didn't want to delve straight it with disappearances and such, not in the first chapter, so I thought a subtle mention would do it and it has so i'm happy!

Yes! I wanted everyone to see the characters from Clara's point of view - she's never met them before so her descriptions of them are more relatable and it shows almost instantly that they must have some status and significance - that was what I was going for anyway! I'm happy that it's come across that way!

Awww, thank you! I really enjoyed writing her! I wanted her to be a strong independent character but not arrogant in any way. I love that you like her!

Thank you so much for your lovely words! They mean a lot!!

Vicki


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