Reading Reviews From Member: Janner
  
102 Reviews Found

Review #26, by JannerThe Unseemly Proposal : Chapter 39: Separated

1st June 2012:
If you do not finish this story I will get you a Jinx ring charmed to leap off your finger and bite yer bum until you do! :~)

I read the 39 chapters in two sittings and it's in the top three of stories I've read.

So Sparx it's time to press on with the next 40 chapters

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Review #27, by JannerBut, I Walked Away: Chapter 1

27th May 2012:
Hermione might have been proposed to, but i'm certain she wasn't 'purposed' to.

Gold shirt, red jacket and black trousers = hot!... Really???

Well this is fiction, I suppose.

Otherwise it has a lot of potential.

Author's Response: yeah thats my bad, and hey the way i see it, Draco can look hot in just about anything. ;) and heck yeah it has potential!

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Review #28, by JannerHarry Potter and the Secret Forest: The giver of Hope is Born

27th May 2012:
Another good chapter Mariano however I must point out an error. The phrase: task my mentor had bequested me with:, I'm not certain that bequested is a word. So may I suggest this phrase. 'task my mentor had bequeathed me'

Harry's SPEECH ( see previous review) was first class otherwise.

Well done again.

Author's Response: Hello Janner! I'm positive that 'had bequested' is a correct form. 'Had bequested' is in fact a proper and accepted Past Perfect Subjunctive form of the verb 'bequest' while 'had bequeathed' is the Past Perfect Subjunctive form of the verb 'bequeath'. The term 'bequest' is defined as 'the act of bequeathing' which is a nice confusion in itself, given that the two terms mean exactly the same. In this case, I, through Harry's mouth, chose 'bequest' simply for its subliminal effect. I consider it a more powerful word when Harry communicates that he had been bequested with a task. The word's similarity to 'quest', in the sense of being something that had to be done through great perils sounded in my head more meaningful. I thank you anyway for your fair critic! I have been away for quite a while following a family problem but now I'm back and more than willing to make up for lost time!

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Review #29, by JannerHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Losses

26th May 2012:
Dumbledore's last sentence has me hooked for the rest of the story.

As usual the reading is not difficult because it's so well written. I feel like I'm missing Ginny too.

I don't want to sound triumphant but I found the rarest of things... a typo! 'Percy joined them as they waitied'. It's because they are so rare in your writing that it leapt out at me.

This has the potential to become a classic.

May your muse stay with you!

Author's Response: Dumbledore has a way of drawing you in like that, doesn't he? It amazes me just how much his presence adds to the story, even though he's been dead for nearly 50 years.

I have to congratulate you. The typo you caught has been missed by however many people account for close to 1,000 chapter-reads so far. I will get that cleaned up soon.

I try to keep my muse close at hand, but she is slippery at times. Thanks for the encouragement!


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Review #30, by JannerWhat's In A Name?: Chapter Eight

16th May 2012:
Well done, Hermione, tell it like it is girl!

Great Chapter, looking forward eagerly to the next one.

Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #31, by JannerWhat's In A Name?: Chapter One

16th May 2012:
I thought I had just read the perfect chapter and then sadly right at the end an error.
'I had strived' leapt out and hit me right between the eyes. The word should be 'striven' IMO.

Otherwise an excellent first chapter. Well done!

Author's Response: Oh no! I always end up making a couple mistakes, ha ha. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D

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Review #32, by JannerThe Ceremony: Chapter 6

16th May 2012:
Trying to be constructive, may I suggest that you get a Beta. The grammar and some spelling leave a lot to be desired.

For me, it spoils what is basically a very good story.

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Review #33, by JannerDon't Forget to Breathe: Mouth's Cradle

14th May 2012:
I'm very much enjoying this story, it's a wonderful plotline and very well written, but please, please, you need to address the spacing issue. It makes reading it harder than necessary

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for reading the story. I've been having problems with the spacing since I began writing here. It just comes out that way. Hopefully the site can fix the spacing issues. =)

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Review #34, by JannerHunting The Hunters: Perhaps a Vacation

12th May 2012:
I have just read this tale from start to finish. I loved it.

Hermione in some of the early chapters ahd a habit of charging into situations and landing herself in trouble. Most un-Hermione like in my opinion. Everybodfy else was more or less in character.

Very well done it was highly enjoyable.

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Review #35, by JannerHonour Among Thieves: the trial, some secrets and an escape plan

12th May 2012:
This keeps getting better and better.

One thing tho' I thought Dumbledore's Put-Outer had been renamed as a Deluminator.

Great stuff Jen, Keep it up.

Head down and study now!

Author's Response: It has been renamed, but I don't know which I prefer, so I think I've called it both in this chapter :D
Thanks for the review, glad you like it! :D


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Review #36, by JannerBend or Break: Forged in Flames

10th May 2012:
A great chapter with a slightly fluffy end.

The story continues to be an excellent piece of work.

Well done, keep it u[p

Author's Response: I'm glad you found it fluffy :) I was going for that! Thanks!

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Review #37, by JannerWar of the Exes: With or Without You

5th May 2012:
The best Hermione/Ron break up I've read. I love it.
I'm dreading the reunion chapter, I hope it's a long way off.

Good work!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! ~writergirl8

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Review #38, by JannerGuardian Angel?: Rumors

4th May 2012:
Keep it going, please. This is good reading and I'm enjoying it a lot.

Author's Response: Thank you, now that college is out for the summer I hope to get more chapters written and quicker.

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Review #39, by JannerTogether: Together

4th May 2012:
I enjoyed the story but you seem to have an issue with the spacing. It does spoil the reading.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! And it is very peculiar with the spacing, as I did not intend for that to occur...perhaps when I copied and pasted the story onto the site there was some sort of error? Sorry about that, but thanks!

xo MBTN xo


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Review #40, by JannerHarry Potter and the Chinese Book: Finding the Future

4th May 2012:
An excellent story which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I hope you won't object to one piece of criticism, which is this; Hermione is an English girl and as such is extremely unlikely to address her mother as 'Mom', She would use 'Mum'.

Please write more, you're a good writer.

Author's Response: Janner,

Yes, they all would use Mum I think. My mistake, it is fixed up to "Meeting with Muggles" that is now awaiting validation.

Glad you enjoyed the book. I am slowly working on another but am fixing the things reviewers have pointed out in this one.

Bill


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Review #41, by JannerHonour Among Thieves: despair, family, and a 'waiting' plan

30th April 2012:
Filler or not, this is still a great story.

You're intimating that Hugo is the traitor, but I'm not sure he is. He's been set up hasnt he?

As ever the quality shines through.

Bruce likes it too!

Author's Response: Is Hugo the traitor? You shall have to wait and see!! *cue evil laugh*

Thanks so much, I'm glad you both like it still :D


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Review #42, by JannerHarry Potter and the Secret Forest: The Sleeper Awakens

28th April 2012:
An excellent first chapter Mariano, well done.

I especially like the idea of interring Voldemort in the grounds so that the evil he did is not forgotten.

I look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It's a great relief that you liked that particular idea, I had the feeling that it would be a very unpopular one among readers. I don't deny feeling some disgust myself but my belief is strong in that sense, esp. since I can very much relate it to the military coup and de facto government in my country lasting from 76' to '83. There is a greater part of the population that believes in the concept of "memoria, verdad y justicia" (memory, truth and justice, especially meaning memory and truth as a way to achieve justice, since there are some of the people responsible that still are to be judged). But there is a small nucleus commandeered by the big corporate media groups (who most often indulge in printing whatever lies they want to suit any particular economic agenda they like, whether it be for or against the government, hiding its faults or inventing faults that are not there at all) that wishes to simply forget everything, leave it all in the past and never talk about it again. I feel that is a foolproof way of ensuring it will happen again, so I am totally for education, and respectful memory. 30 thousand of us died unfairly during those years, and Voldemort and his Death Eaters are scaringly similar to our de facto presidents and their fear tactics. One of them even did declare war to Great Britain over the Falklands, a war in which he sent to slaughter an army of scared 18 to 20 year old kids with old guns and no suitable clothing to a couple of freezing islands to fight one of the greatest powers in the world over a couple of bloody islands. The old "experienced" generals stayed at their warm houses away from the bombs and death. I don't blame Great Britain for the war, I blame our tyrants. How and why should we ever forget about them? Sorry for my winding up but it was important for me to explain where had my decision come from. Thanks again for reading =)

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Review #43, by JannerBoy Meets Girl: A Light In The Dark

27th April 2012:
I like this a lot. It's very well written, always a big plus for me.

I'll keep waiting for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'll try to update soon but studying is taking priority for the next few weeks :)

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Review #44, by Janner11 children: Father Daughter Talk

26th April 2012:
Another great chapter, finishing with a wonderful father/daughter moment at the end.

Love it!

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Review #45, by JannerOffice Love: Of Lock-ups and Make-outs

25th April 2012:
Hilarious! I loved it. All of it

You should have sugar highs more often.

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Review #46, by JannerBend or Break: Fragile Friends

25th April 2012:
You do love your cliffies, don't you?

I'm impressed by the way you maintain the standards of both the plot and the way you write.

Sybils becoming as irritating as Pansy P. used to be. Can't wait to see how Draco handles her.

Great stuff, keep it up.

Author's Response: Yes I am a cliffy person. I thank you for your compliment on my plot and writing style. Sybil is like Pansy except prettier and smarter.

Thanks!


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Review #47, by JannerThe turning point of Geraldine Truss: The Need

24th April 2012:
Poor Geri, her life is a mess. The good thing is that at the end she realises that, so now she can do something about it. I loved the letter from her Mum, so normal, so everyday, made tragic by the circumstances of her death.

She has to deal with an adolescent sister too. I'll never understand why girls fall for obnoxious, arrogant guys like Barry, when there are nice guys like me around!!
Maddie, does she have a history with Barry given that she seems to consider him to be her guy? She is believable as an angsty 15 year old.

A couple of things I would have done differently,

not let him use the situation into his advantage. Change 'into' to just 'to'.

you certainly don't fall into any of those criteria's. I think criteria's is the wrong word here, how about 'categories'
.
It's well written and an absorbing read, well done!

Author's Response: Yeah, she's gone through some hard times, she need to start taking control of her life again.

Glad you liked the story, and thank you for pointing those out, I'll fix them once I edit this the next time!


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Review #48, by JannerAfter The Battle: After The Battle

24th April 2012:
A lovely story, generally well written. Easy to read and follow. Only one thing I would change;

A couple of them sniggered and several younger ones whispered amongst themselves. Neville turned bright red but ignored the ones sniggering and whispering.

I would rewrite this to avoid repeating the word 'ones', it doesn't read well in my head.

A couple of them sniggered and several younger ones whispered amongst themselves. Neville turned bright red but ignored the giggling and whispering.

I also noticed a couple of what I assume were typo's.

He shook his head like he had water in his air. Should have been in his hair. Yes?
'The're tiny little caterpillars...' They're tiny little caterpillars.

Again just little things but they didn't spoil the story.

So it's good, well done.

Author's Response: Hi,

Thanks so much for your review. You're right about the word ones, it certainly doesn't work as well. And thanks for pointing out the typos. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

~CypressQueen~


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Review #49, by JannerMissingNo: MissingNo

23rd April 2012:
Being totally unfamiliar with Pokemon, I'm afraid those references were lost on me, but I can see Adrian's need to keep it secret. Malfoy gave him the perfect reason to accept the Trio's offer. Hermione collected another admirer, of course. I thought that Malfoy accepted Hermione interfering, with her explanation of the cards, a little too easily.

A well written piece, but you did do one thing that burns me up, take a look at these:

Part of the reason I loved the Muggle arts so much was there creative imaginations.
Part of the reason I loved the Muggle arts so much was their creative imaginations.

Which one is correct? You also used 'it's' instead of 'its' in a couple of places.

An enjoyable story, although perhaps after the beating by Malfoy and his mates, a little predictable.

Please PM me with a review of my review.

Author's Response: Aww, I'm sorry I made you review a story where the references were lost! It was really written for all the Pokemon nerds, so it's not nearly as funny if you didn't know any of these things.

The second one is correct (though I'm not sure if it is was or were). There/their issues are usually typos I don't catch. I definitely do have a problem with 'its' and it's though. Thanks for catching those.

Thanks again for your review!


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Review #50, by JannerGuardian Angel?: A New Look

21st April 2012:
I've just read the first four chapters. It's an interesting concept and I am sure it's going to be a great story. It's now on my favourites list.

You've drawn Hermione very well especially her loyalty to Ginny.

I look forward to chapter 5.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and the support. I hope to have the next chapter written and up as soon as possible.

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