This keeps getting better and better.
One thing tho' I thought Dumbledore's Put-Outer had been renamed as a Deluminator.
Great stuff Jen, Keep it up.
Head down and study now!Author's Response: It has been renamed, but I don't know which I prefer, so I think I've called it both in this chapter :D
Thanks for the review, glad you like it! :D Report Review
A great chapter with a slightly fluffy end.
The story continues to be an excellent piece of work.
Well done, keep it u[pAuthor's Response: I'm glad you found it fluffy :) I was going for that! Thanks! Report Review
The best Hermione/Ron break up I've read. I love it.
I'm dreading the reunion chapter, I hope it's a long way off.
Good work!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! ~writergirl8 Report Review
I'm sorry but you have spacing issues here. I find it impossible to read as it is.
I'll try again later. Report Review
A good, interesting introduction.
Looking forward to more. Off to next chapter. Report Review
Keep it going, please. This is good reading and I'm enjoying it a lot.Author's Response: Thank you, now that college is out for the summer I hope to get more chapters written and quicker. Report Review
I enjoyed the story but you seem to have an issue with the spacing. It does spoil the reading.Author's Response: Thank you very much! And it is very peculiar with the spacing, as I did not intend for that to occur...perhaps when I copied and pasted the story onto the site there was some sort of error? Sorry about that, but thanks!
xo MBTN xo Report Review
An excellent story which I thoroughly enjoyed.
I hope you won't object to one piece of criticism, which is this; Hermione is an English girl and as such is extremely unlikely to address her mother as 'Mom', She would use 'Mum'.
Please write more, you're a good writer.Author's Response: Janner,
Yes, they all would use Mum I think. My mistake, it is fixed up to "Meeting with Muggles" that is now awaiting validation.
Glad you enjoyed the book. I am slowly working on another but am fixing the things reviewers have pointed out in this one.
Bill Report Review
Filler or not, this is still a great story.
You're intimating that Hugo is the traitor, but I'm not sure he is. He's been set up hasnt he?
As ever the quality shines through.
Bruce likes it too!Author's Response: Is Hugo the traitor? You shall have to wait and see!! *cue evil laugh*
Thanks so much, I'm glad you both like it still :D Report Review
An excellent first chapter Mariano, well done.
I especially like the idea of interring Voldemort in the grounds so that the evil he did is not forgotten.
I look forward to reading more.Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It's a great relief that you liked that particular idea, I had the feeling that it would be a very unpopular one among readers. I don't deny feeling some disgust myself but my belief is strong in that sense, esp. since I can very much relate it to the military coup and de facto government in my country lasting from 76' to '83. There is a greater part of the population that believes in the concept of "memoria, verdad y justicia" (memory, truth and justice, especially meaning memory and truth as a way to achieve justice, since there are some of the people responsible that still are to be judged). But there is a small nucleus commandeered by the big corporate media groups (who most often indulge in printing whatever lies they want to suit any particular economic agenda they like, whether it be for or against the government, hiding its faults or inventing faults that are not there at all) that wishes to simply forget everything, leave it all in the past and never talk about it again. I feel that is a foolproof way of ensuring it will happen again, so I am totally for education, and respectful memory. 30 thousand of us died unfairly during those years, and Voldemort and his Death Eaters are scaringly similar to our de facto presidents and their fear tactics. One of them even did declare war to Great Britain over the Falklands, a war in which he sent to slaughter an army of scared 18 to 20 year old kids with old guns and no suitable clothing to a couple of freezing islands to fight one of the greatest powers in the world over a couple of bloody islands. The old "experienced" generals stayed at their warm houses away from the bombs and death. I don't blame Great Britain for the war, I blame our tyrants. How and why should we ever forget about them? Sorry for my winding up but it was important for me to explain where had my decision come from. Thanks again for reading =) Report Review
I like this a lot. It's very well written, always a big plus for me.
I'll keep waiting for the next chapter.Author's Response: Thank you, I'll try to update soon but studying is taking priority for the next few weeks :) Report Review
Another great chapter, finishing with a wonderful father/daughter moment at the end.
Love it! Report Review
Hilarious! I loved it. All of it
You should have sugar highs more often. Report Review
You do love your cliffies, don't you?
I'm impressed by the way you maintain the standards of both the plot and the way you write.
Sybils becoming as irritating as Pansy P. used to be. Can't wait to see how Draco handles her.
Great stuff, keep it up.Author's Response: Yes I am a cliffy person. I thank you for your compliment on my plot and writing style. Sybil is like Pansy except prettier and smarter.
Thanks! Report Review
Poor Geri, her life is a mess. The good thing is that at the end she realises that, so now she can do something about it. I loved the letter from her Mum, so normal, so everyday, made tragic by the circumstances of her death.
She has to deal with an adolescent sister too. I'll never understand why girls fall for obnoxious, arrogant guys like Barry, when there are nice guys like me around!!
Maddie, does she have a history with Barry given that she seems to consider him to be her guy? She is believable as an angsty 15 year old.
A couple of things I would have done differently,
not let him use the situation into his advantage. Change 'into' to just 'to'.
you certainly don't fall into any of those criteria's. I think criteria's is the wrong word here, how about 'categories'
It's well written and an absorbing read, well done!Author's Response: Yeah, she's gone through some hard times, she need to start taking control of her life again.
Glad you liked the story, and thank you for pointing those out, I'll fix them once I edit this the next time! Report Review
A lovely story, generally well written. Easy to read and follow. Only one thing I would change;
A couple of them sniggered and several younger ones whispered amongst themselves. Neville turned bright red but ignored the ones sniggering and whispering.
I would rewrite this to avoid repeating the word 'ones', it doesn't read well in my head.
A couple of them sniggered and several younger ones whispered amongst themselves. Neville turned bright red but ignored the giggling and whispering.
I also noticed a couple of what I assume were typo's.
He shook his head like he had water in his air. Should have been in his hair. Yes?
'The're tiny little caterpillars...' They're tiny little caterpillars.
Again just little things but they didn't spoil the story.
So it's good, well done.Author's Response: Hi,
Thanks so much for your review. You're right about the word ones, it certainly doesn't work as well. And thanks for pointing out the typos. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
~CypressQueen~ Report Review
Being totally unfamiliar with Pokemon, I'm afraid those references were lost on me, but I can see Adrian's need to keep it secret. Malfoy gave him the perfect reason to accept the Trio's offer. Hermione collected another admirer, of course. I thought that Malfoy accepted Hermione interfering, with her explanation of the cards, a little too easily.
A well written piece, but you did do one thing that burns me up, take a look at these:
Part of the reason I loved the Muggle arts so much was there creative imaginations.
Part of the reason I loved the Muggle arts so much was their creative imaginations.
Which one is correct? You also used 'it's' instead of 'its' in a couple of places.
An enjoyable story, although perhaps after the beating by Malfoy and his mates, a little predictable.
Please PM me with a review of my review.Author's Response: Aww, I'm sorry I made you review a story where the references were lost! It was really written for all the Pokemon nerds, so it's not nearly as funny if you didn't know any of these things.
The second one is correct (though I'm not sure if it is was or were). There/their issues are usually typos I don't catch. I definitely do have a problem with 'its' and it's though. Thanks for catching those.
Thanks again for your review! Report Review
I've just read the first four chapters. It's an interesting concept and I am sure it's going to be a great story. It's now on my favourites list.
You've drawn Hermione very well especially her loyalty to Ginny.
I look forward to chapter 5.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and the support. I hope to have the next chapter written and up as soon as possible. Report Review
They never thought the plan through very well, did they? Snape was a bit too lenient with his 'punishment', but all in all a good chapter.
Keep it up.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Snape was supposed to be lenient. It said so in Deathly Hallows that Snape's punishment was to send Ginny Neville and Luna to serve punishment with Hagrid. I can't change what JKR gave us. If she said Snape's punishment was lenient, then it was lenient. And you know, it really was difficult to put together how Ginny found out about the sword, which is why it wasn't well-planned. It took a lot of thought to figure that one out.
~Rosie Report Review
To review both stories, I think they are best summed up in Ron Weasley style. "Bloody brilliant!'
The concept, the execution, the even pace, the characterisations are all first class.
Beginners should be made to read and learn from this.Author's Response: Thank you!! :) These stories hold a special place in my heart and I'm so happy you liked them. Report Review
Any story that breaks up Hermione and Ron is *Aces* with me!
Maybe you could have gone a little deeper into the relationships, but it was enjoyable as it is.
Good.Author's Response: Thanks soo much for reviewing this story when no one else has yet :) That's what one of my friends told me. Report Review
Keep this going, it's good.
However one thing is spoiling it for me and that is your continued use of the phrase 'of coarse' when you mean 'of course'. Please try to avoid this common error.
Looking forward to your next update.Author's Response: sorry! i'll fix those! thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
One word...Beautiful!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review!
I'm glad you thought it was beautiful! Report Review
This chapter moved a bit slow for me, it made it a bit hard to stay interested. I managed tho!
A couple of small points; Ginny did not sweared, she swore, and please check out the difference between effect and affect. Many people get that wrong.
Still a good story, worth reading.
Keep going.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry for the little errors, but everyone makes a few mistakes while writing.
I plan on editing this chapter soon, I'm not very pleased with this chapter either. Thanks for pointing out the mistakes, though!
~Rosie Report Review
I enjoyed this chapter a lot. Ginny doesn't get much limelight normally and it's about time she did. I'm not going to pick through any grammar/spelling issues unless it spoils the way the story reads. People don't always use grammar correctly when they speak, know what I mean innit.
I'll be reading chapter 2 real soon. Keep it up!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I love Ginny, she honestly is my favorite character. And we know absolutely nothing about what happened at Hogwarts while the trio was out hunting for horcruxes. I'm glad you liked it!
~Rosie Report Review
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