Reading Reviews From Member: nitra_black
  
57 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nitra_blackConfronting Temptation: Stake Out Shocks

30th May 2013:
"She will argue to the day she dies that she isnt running, but deep down inside she is"

- roses actions contradicting her emotions eh? Something I touched on in my essay! Was just congratulating myself really , lol :(


Good chapter and much better without that snivelling, b@%#h-boy, aka matt:

"Dear diary,

I told rose everything about me and today I found that she didn't do the same. I mean that's not fair if I tell her everything then she has to tell me everything, because that's what best friends should do

Matt "

"Dear matt

Get a grip! you're a 20-year-old-something man. Not a 13year old pubescent girl. Maybe, MAYBE, if she was your wife I would understand why you feel betrayal, but she isn't this is 2030 mate... Man the hell up and let the girl make her own decisions and stuff! Next time you write in me, make sure it's about real stuff, and not this drivel, I have no further desires to waste perfectly good ink.

Sincerely
Diary"

!lol only joking :)
he's not too bad, I will stop bashing him soon I promise! :)

Loved the conversation flow between rose and scorp too; it was beautifully written!

~Kim

Author's Response: Yeah the entire time I was responding to your essay I kept think just read on. So yes Congratulations.
As for Matt. Wow, Ouch. In a few Chapters you are really really going to like Carla I think. But in my opinion he has a right to feel betrayed simply because Rose ke[t her past a secret on purpose and you really need to understand that she knows 100% everything about him and she pretty much lied to him, if they were having a conversation and he said something she would respond with something like "Well there is not much to tell," when in fact there was. Also, and you will see a little bit of this later on, as partners they know each others every mood he looks one way so does she, She thinks one thing he can generally guess what she is planning. they are very in sync, which is required for their job. The reason they are so in sync is because they know each other so well and Matt knows the Rose that he has worked with in New York for 3 years down to a T. In fact he is one of the only people that Rose has let get to know her, even though she is so guarded, of course Mat can't appreciate that because he doesn't know that Rose push's people out.
I will admit that he is stubborn and acting like a slight child but he does have a past with his own family and to him Rose and Carla are his family and to find out that Rose had been hiding stuff from him, even though it was because she was running and hated to think about, is like a knife to the back. If she had been the one to tell him then it he would have been better it was the way he found out.
Also for plot purposes I had to put Matt aside for a while so I let him brood. In a few chapters he will come around and he does explain things a little bit.
So Thank you for the review I hope that this helps give you some insight or at least explains him a little bit better.


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Review #2, by nitra_blackConfronting Temptation: Conversations with Awkward Audiences

30th May 2013:
Just a quickie:

I hope matt isn't like this all the time..it's such a feminine per-madonna reaction to have, like really to walk out just she's not telling her about her school days?! It's like he's desperate to know every little freakin detail..he dangerously close to bordering obsession/infatuation/ love and I really hope that isn't where matt and roses' relationship is going .
Please make matt man-up a bit, he is literally the SPITTING image of al ( acting like the wounded party!? Pffft!!)
At the very least he should be more "angry" at Scorp than rose?
I personally would like him so much more if there was a little bit more of "Hugo " and "Bryan" in him.please. Lol

~ Kim

Author's Response: It's a trust thing with Matt, he does love Rose in a friend way and nothing more. The part about every freaking detail, he knows absolutely freakin nothing, there is a sever in imbalance of knowledge between their relationship and Rose kept that from him and that does hurt him because she knows everything about him and I do mean EVERYTHING.
Matt overreacts to some things and he does see Rose as family and he redeems himself and he would do anything to protect her. Just keep reading he does get a slight chance to show his side.
Anyways thank you for all of the reviews now to respond to the next one.


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Review #3, by nitra_blackConfronting Temptation: Thinking With Avoidances

30th May 2013:
Another great chap!!
I always thought those two would/should be together( bracy, lol).I was surprised they didn't at the end of FT .

What's Scorp hiding I wonder?! Hmmm why did he run away? Clearly it was another woman ( an estranged wife perhaps?!) but bracy said it was a bit OTT for him to leave so maybe it wasn't anything too bad... Whatever it was I don't think Scorp was the victim in the situation I think he's "running" from something that was essentially "his fault"...

Ive been reading alot of what people have been saying about disliking rose, I must admit she is quite a unique mystery...why is she so guarded? Why does she react like that when she's upset? Why does she choose to hide her past with Scorp? ( these are just the questions I asked myself when reading)

I mean she makes everything a mini- drama doesn't she and its so unnecessary.. I was screaming at my screen " just take the sweets you fussy £&@. Say thanks and stop making every little such an issue? I know it sounds silly ( to be annoyed about her not eating) but she was grateful and recognised that he had gone out of her way get them but didn't show that appreciation by eating them. I suppose it's the same with Scorp; she loves him but doesn't show him that she loves him... Which is so contradicting she seems like she is forever at war with herself ( like a teenager) which I think I was makes her somewhat disliked; she is to "back-and-forth" as a character, always a bit "shaky" ( no matter how physically strong she is) shes a bit fair-weathered like she doesnt really fit anywhere and doesn't really have a place or "belong" anywhere. I do hope her character develops so much more throughout this story, because she seemed more mature in FT than she does in this (so far anyway)

Oh yeh and her temper, doesn't really endear me to the "weasley temperament" she just comes across as rude. I'm not complaining or disagreeing with you or how you've portrayed her, it's just how I respond to rose the character but your writing of her is brilliant ( as always is, no matter how the characters are perceived! :) ).

Oh and one more thing it seems like its "all about rose" everyone talks about how well they know her and love her, it's like everyone is in her corner fighting for her so because of this she gets "lazy" and doesn't really do it herself ... I mean she doesn't seem to have much of a backbone or seem be comfortable in her own skin unless someone tells she is? ( not deep down anyway)

Funny thing is, I don't particularly "dislike" her, I just enjoy analysing her for some reason. It's a bit like voldemort ( not that she is like him at all ) but I mean I didn't "dislike" voldemort either and I think it's cos, from a technical point of view, voldy was integral to the story and only through his "bad" could Harry's "good" really be seen in all its glory. And similarly it's only through Rose's faults ( or the irritating parts of her character) that you can see her potential for "success" ( we only get irritated because, really, we want her to succeed; we want to see a strong, satisfied, self-assure confident leading character, not a whining thug who appears to be suffering from some constant inner-turmoil)... Another way I like to look at it is that Scorp and rose are one. So when there are scenes with just her its like seeing half of a person, so we ( the readers) are constantly going to keep finding "faults" or things we "dislike" about her because she is only the "real Rose Weasley " when she is when is with him...that's my more romantic take on it lol :)

I really wanna write a longer review ( longer than this mammoth essay anyway) as there is SO much more I wanna say but with my word allowance getting low and a sprained wrist its proving difficult! :( but as soon as its healed I will review some more so you might get another long-winded essay,several chapters on, about the previous chapters...

Overall an excellent job though! im really enjoying it so far! I totally agree with a review a read a while back ...you should seriously start thinking about doing this professionally ya know! :)

On to the next!!

~ Kim

Author's Response: It's funny that you mention the candy. The only reason I put that in there was because Rose does have a habit of not eating when she is stressed which was seen in FT. Also I her mind really wasn't there with her that night, I was trying to show that.
I agree with what you say about Rose, for the most part, the part about her being more mature in FT not so really but then again I am inside her head and I know what she knows and how she thinks so I suppose that gives me a slight advantage to her personality.
Rose is conflicted character and that is why I love her so much because she isn't perfect and she is hurt and worn and she isn't comfortable in her own life, although I will say she is more comfortable in New York than any where else and that is why she stays.
As for her personality Scorpius makes her Shaky. Him beiong in her life puts her on edge and in a way does Rock her world and that is why she is so back and forth and confused in general. When he is not around, I mean in her life, she is much more stable, she does love him and having him around kills her in a way because she has to confront a lot of things that she has been running from.
As a character I think she is fun to analyze as well because she is so conflicted and to me real. She isn't perfect and she does analyze everything, she has always done that she takes her time to think through problems and then decides what to do based on her thoughts. I enjoy reading your analysis even if I don't fully agree with it because it does give me insight into what other people think and its interesting. So I do look forward to more of your analysis even if they are mammoth essays.
There are some aspects that you brought up that aren't wrong but that I have never really thought of before such as Scorpius and Rose being one and in a way you are right because they balance each other out. I personally think that Rose is strong and she does run from her problems but I don't think she lets other people fight them I think she just avoids them until they aren't a problem and that will become an issue for her. As for her being rude when I right her I get the sense of frustration from her a lot. She is frustrated when things don't go as planned at least that was what I was feeling when I wrote these early chapters, things have changed since then and she is currently unraveling so things are becoming less frustrating for you, but ill let you get there before I go on about that.
Chapter 10 which is awaiting Validation will give some insight into Scorpius' past. I can't give much insight into it thou w/o giving a lot away but I will say you are on the right track.
As for Bryan/Stacy (Bracy) lol. They were never planned to be together I kept getting reviews about them and then I began to think and I saw the light it was the only time I have ever let reviews influence my plotline but seriously the more I thought about it totally makes sense that they would be together because they are good together. Anyways the reason why they weren't together at the end of FT was because I kind of wanted it to be surprise for Confronting Temptation.
Anyway Thank you for the review I look forward to more thoughts from you. Hope you enjoy the rest.


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Review #4, by nitra_blackFighting Temptation: Epilogue

30th May 2013:
i first started reading this story 2 years ago!..and i never removed it from my favourites and now i know why..Its an incredible story and i stuck by what i said 2 years ago; still one of the best ive ever read on here (and ive read ALOT! LOL) You should be sooo proud of what you've accomplished it's not easy to write a story that spans 4 years and has the main characters go from enemies to lovers to a couple to exes to lovers to friends to acquaintances and now back to lovers again.. I'm so privileged to have read it and so happy that you made it in the first place. CONGRATULATIONS!!

Now onto the sequel! :)

~Kim

Author's Response: Thank you so much I am beyond extremely proud of this story. It is the first story that I have ever finished all the way through and in doing that I know it is possible and I can do it again. It took me three years to get it done but I did it and put my heart and soul into it, along with some blood sweat and tears. Anyways I am so beyond happy that you have finished reading it and that you were enjoyed it. It means so much to me to hear that you liked it thank you for sticking with me for two years. Thank you for the review I hope that you enjoy the sequel.

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Review #5, by nitra_blackResurrection : The Aftermath

2nd April 2013:
YAY! GO YOU! IT'S AMAZING!

I love the way you've worked the new conversation between al and lucy.. interestingly this edit has made their relationship more "family" like, you know the whole "we not friends but we're family so i HAVE to help you out" and you can really get that sense from the way you've described how Lucy looks at Albus.

OH MY GOD i have fallen in love with Danny (even though he's not real). There's a sentence you write really really well: ("Tears rolled down Dannys face as he tried exhaling evenly to calm his staggering breaths")and i can perfectly picture this fully grown, gorgeous man (in my head he is, lol) breaking down in this really girly, pink, happy bedroom and the juxtaposition of that image in my head is really powerful.
Him being sat in that pink child-like bedroom, crying the way you described, reminds me of mourning child-hood, the innocence, the memories him and cara had, the carefree nature of childhood, and now that's all gone... it's like he's grieving in her room and this happy girly pink innocence room is making a mockery of him, whilst also reminding him that the time for 'fun' and 'happy' and child-like ways has LONG gone...

Its amazing that your writing is so well written that my mind can create all of that from only two sentences in that entire passage about danny

hmmm i wonder if this means, once he mourns, he's going to become really forth-wright/ blunt/ focused/obsessed with solving the case.?

oh i cant WAIT to read the next chapter although because i read the old edit i think i know what's coming next but still if you do the next one anything like this you deserve a MASSIVE dobby award...this is epic stuff! well done im so happy for you

~Kim :)

Author's Response: YAY! I'm glad that you like the changes that I made to this chapter! Seriously, your review made me feel like I had so much potential with the chapter and I'm glad that you pointed it out! I definitely want to continue to live up to your expectations!

I'm SO glad you like Danny!!! :D
When I first thought of him, I immediately fell in love. I'd never fallen in love with a male OC that I tried creating so I'm glad you like him too!

I love that you made that connection between an adult Danny in a pink little girl's room.

Thanks for your review! Seriously, you have been the most helpful reviewer EVER!

Claire(:


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Review #6, by nitra_blackShades of Gray: Fist Fight

13th January 2013:
Yay! i am so glad you finally posted a new chapter! as usual i love it, boys only a year apart are bound to fight so its good to see some rivalry!
Hope you find your notebook :)

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Review #7, by nitra_blackBest Birthday Ever (Not): Unexpected Knock

26th January 2012:
this is a really good story so far, the way you've described the relationships between all the weasley's/Potters' is really "realistic"/ jk rowling-esq.

cant wait to read the rest

~Kim

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm really happy that you enjoyed it, seeing that I'm really young and all, I thought it wouldn't be that good. Hope you'll enjoy the next chapter as much as the first. I'll try and write it as quick as I can!

~Tes



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Review #8, by nitra_blackThe New Skin: The Reverse

26th January 2012:
i like your banner and chapter images, its really refreshing to see some original artistry, haven't read the story yet but when i do i'll let you know what i think :)

~Kim

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm an artist first and a writer second, so I'm very pleased that you like the images!

(Just fyi... my other story, The Clear Cut, is also illustrated if you want to see any more images.)

Thank you for your review!

Mottsnave


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Review #9, by nitra_blackMore to Live For: Back to King's Cross

9th October 2011:
How did tom recognize him?, isn't he mean't to be in disguise?

Great story though..! i mean't to review the first chapter then i realised i was on the 6th..! :)

Great read :)

~Kim

Author's Response: Nitra,
Yes this is a plot hole I have to go back and fix. Thanks for commenting, glad you enjoy it!


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Review #10, by nitra_blackFighting Temptation: Collision

9th October 2011:
i like it alot, and i like how he isn't giving up on her this time, shows his maturity

good chapter


~kim

Author's Response: Yeah he isnt going to be giving up on her anytime soon. LOL i'm happy that you enjoyed the chapter hope you enjoy the next also. Thank you for the review.

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Review #11, by nitra_blackFighting Temptation: Secrets and Dancing Kisses

6th September 2011:
oh my god..! i had my earphones in listening to that song while reading, no joke. How bizarre..!!

They kissed.! they finally Kissed! it was very very well written, and like that rose still isnt too sure..! :)

well done you :)

..and yes very happy now :)

~Kim

Author's Response: Bizarre is right. But hey the song works perfectly. lol. I know they finally kissed. I told you that if you held in a kiss would be coming very very very soon. And it is real. :) Rose still not being so sure about this kiss but at the same time cant help but kiss him is her inner feelings fighting against one another. Im happy your happy. Thank you for the review :)

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Review #12, by nitra_blackChanging Winds: Lies, Secrets, Etcetera

3rd August 2011:
oh, very exciting first chapter,


lots of drama already building! {i have a thing for it, lol}


cant wait to read on! :)

~Kim

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

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Review #13, by nitra_blackA Long(bottom) Tail: ONE

3rd August 2011:
lol I really like this intro


" I'd tap that"

made me chuckle...cant wait to read more! :)

~Kim

Author's Response: thanks :)


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Review #14, by nitra_blackFighting Temptation: I'm Here For You

3rd August 2011:
"It was an awkward thought, but not an impossible one".

:) :)

LOVED THIS LINE.. The whole story so far could be put into that one sentence. I mean, how skilled you are as a writer to create the essence of the whole story in one sentence, im actually amazed..!!

*To myself:[Rose and Scorpius. In a relationship. It was an awkward thought, but not an impossible one.]

Perfect..! as always :)



update soon!!

~Kim

Author's Response: Thank you truely for the wonderful complement. I am so happy that you like my story and my writting plese do continue to read it. And to be honest that is one of my favorite lines too. Thank you for the review the next chapter will be up soon.

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Review #15, by nitra_blackMissing Mummy: St Mungos

3rd August 2011:
thats b*lls**t! (i apologise for the outburst) but thats soo * dumb.! god i hate harry, he's a snivelly whimp and now he's gunna give his son away after he fought to get them back and after everything he learnt about ariana dumbledore. h's a c**k! ( again i apologise, lol) he needs to grow some balls

Great story tho.!!! im really getting into it as you can tell, but please make him change his mind..!!

Update soon..!

~Kim

Author's Response: Oh wow, I panicked when I saw the first half of the review lol. Thought you were flamming it. :P
Yes, I agree with you.But Ariana was completely different, she had no control over her magic but had her powers still. They never had a choice, either she went to Saint Mungos and be miserable or they hid her away. While Harry has a choice of two extremes, both of which he doesn't want to do as he knows both are going to end with something he doesn't want. Ha, the Harry you know, as I've said before, will come back. :)
I'm trying to update, but real life and other stuff is getting in the way...I am trying my best!!
Thank you so much for your reviews!


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Review #16, by nitra_blackMissing Mummy: Mummy Has Wings

1st August 2011:
such a touching chapter..!! I had a small tear in my eye :(

~Kim

Author's Response: I try my best to get the emotions across to you guys! But I loved writing this chapter and the reaction of Jame :( poor kid.
Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by nitra_blackMissing Mummy: I'm Your Daddy

1st August 2011:
wow! what a brilliant first chapter..!! :)

~Kim

Author's Response: thanks! Hope you like the rest of it just as much :)

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Review #18, by nitra_blackNot According to Plan: Lily's Secret

28th July 2011:
how can albus disapperate? he's only 16?

Author's Response: You're right, I guess I forgot about that...Sorry.

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Review #19, by nitra_blackLosing Harry: Fifteen

25th July 2011:
i cant get my head around it.

In what world would harry consider sleeping with draco malfoy to save him from living life as a muggle..it seems so fantastical... why, when he saw him months ago did he not portkey him to st mungos? stun him, then portkey him.. done

im not criticising by the way... i kinda enjoy the cringe of it, but you have tried to maintain the same characters traits as they have in the "Harry Potter" series, but it doesnt work. It just not plausible that orphan-born harry, who craves family life (mirror of erised) willingly leaves his wife and kids with no contact for 5 months to sit in a garden holding hands with draco malfoy in the middle of winter...

But..

you have somehow managed to write it, in a way the keeps you entraled (up until this chapter anyway) so congrats to you, you are clearly a very good writer, despite the fail of a story-line

~Kim

Author's Response: I see your point of view, but disagree, otherwise, I wouldn't have gone about writing the story, much less with so many chapters. As I see this world and how it has developed from where JKR left off in the books, it is plausible. It just may not be what other readers think, expect, and bank on happening. It's one of many different, varied, and possible futures for these characters.

And Harry himself (as well as others) will address the self same issue in this story - leaving his own family in an attempt to restore someone else's, and in fact throwing everything away... Well, life rarely ends up in fairy-tale happily ever afters wrapped in a pretty bow. And this isn't one of those kinds of stories. It's messy and people make mistakes; all of them. They act like teenagers instead of 40-year-olds and often ruin their lives; I've seen it happen many times in real life.

I understand your point of view, and also your desire to no longer read the story based on such a viewpoint. There are all kinds of stories on hpff, and I'm sure you have found and will find the stories that suit you.


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Review #20, by nitra_blackFighting Temptation: Are We On Trial

1st July 2011:
i agree they needed to be realistic and right now they're not gunna be 'normal' friends, it doesn't fit right with their ages and situations, im glad you put this in.

...although admittedly a little sad, lol

~Kim

Author's Response: Thank you so much for understanding. That was exactly how I felt. Thank you for the review. Next chapter will be up soon.

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Review #21, by nitra_blackLife is...: Life is Confusing

27th June 2011:
Ohhh like it very much,
it was action-y but not overload.

Usually this kind of autobiography style of writing makes the characters seem really whiny and neurotic, but yours didn't. It actually felt real (probably cos you put some trauma in her past.

You included the perfect amount of information on her life for the intro. For the next chapter it would be really good to see the dynamics between the friends :)

I can tell you've taken alot of care over this chapter and it definitely pays off, cant wait to see what you do with rest..! :)

Well done you :)

~Kim

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Keep reviewing!

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Review #22, by nitra_blackAlbus Potter and the Lost Legacy: The Captain of Team Seven

25th June 2011:
R.I.P Liza_Potter
x.x.x

Author's Response: RIP Liza. We'll always remember you.

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Review #23, by nitra_blackFighting Temptation: Forgotton Birthdays With Unexpected Reactions

20th June 2011:
oh im so so SO glad its back..!

oooh they were sooo close to kissing, i could practically taste the sexual tension..! :)

another great chapter, cant wait for the next..!!

~Kim

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I know that they were very close to kissing. But oh well. Next chapter will be up soon glad you liked it.

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Review #24, by nitra_blackThe Secret Lives of Sinful Girls: Thou, Too, Hast Deeply Sinned

19th June 2011:
Oh my god, that was such a good opening...!! :)

yay you..! you clearly have an talent for writing..!

:)

~Kim

Author's Response: Thanks loads! I'm so glad you liked it.

xx Evie


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Review #25, by nitra_blackDelicate: Call Me Mum

31st May 2011:
Hi

I dont know if you still read your reviews but i had to give you a review..
I loved this story so much, very believable and SO enjoying, I can see why you won the award, Ive given you an "end-of story" review because I wanted to share my favourite moments, mostly ones that made me laugh or cry or cry with laughter so here they are :

Oh well, every cloud has a silver lining, right? True, it’s quite a dark cloud and the silver lining is so thin that you can barely see it, but it’s there.

All I did was throw my half eaten banana at her

Why don’t I just go outside and burn a bunch of puppies and laugh at the homeless?

“Well if wit were shit you’d all have diarrhoea,”

So this is my fault?
“I’m not saying this is your fault or anything,”

I’ve always noticed that when boys are trying to be sympathetic, they make a complete balls of it. Like the time Al was dumped in third year and James just said ‘aw, that’s pretty shit’ – or when my dog died and they said ‘yeah, that’s a bit nasty’. I mean, it’s ‘pretty shit’ that she died – it’s not sad, it’s not heartbreaking, it’s not emotional…it’s pretty shit.

What if he or she got sick? I panic in situations like that. When Hugo got the chicken pox, I rang Mum and told her that Hugo was dead

“You’re in there, safe and warm and surrounded by gooey crap

March slips away quickly and soon April is upon us before we can say “piss off James and Fred – aren’t you a bit old for April Fools?”

How could this situation get any more awkward?
“So, I have this weird growth on my ass,” James starts, trying to break the tension.
There – that’s how it gets more awkward.

James!” Nana Molly growls, “STOP PICKING AT THE WEDDING CAKE!”
“But I’m hungry!” he moans, as Ginny drags him away from the food table

Right, here goes, I’m just going to do it. Bite the bullet. Nip it in the bud. Throw the baby out with the bathwater (that one doesn’t fit, but I can’t think of any more clichés)

"– but you come down here like – like – like…”
“A baboon with nappy rash!” Ginny finishes for her husband.
“Exactly!” Harry continues.


“What do we not say in the airport?” Grandad asks.
“Bomb,” we all answer automatically.


“Hello Rose, how are you?”
What a prick.


I’ve never seen him shout like that. It’s kind of sexy. Okay, snap back to the issue at hand – your cousin is practically dying.


Lily gasps in shock when she comes into the common room and sees the state of her older brother.
“Al! I told you not to piss Rose off!” she yells.


“I am so glad your parents had sex all those years ago!” he cries and everybody in the Gryffindor common room stare at him.
Of all the stupid things James has ever said in his life, that is definitely the most disturbing. Why can’t he just say something like ‘I’m so glad you were born’? See, this is the kind of thing that makes me think James might be mentally unstable. Why won’t Harry and Ginny just listen to me? Their son needs help.



“Lily says I’m not allowed argue with you!” he cries and runs up the stairs to his dormitory before he can get himself into trouble

“Date away! You can go and date anyone you like! Get stuck in my friend!”


It’s just him and me now. Me and my baby. My beautiful, perfect little –
“Wahh!!!”
Oh bollocks.


Very funny writing style, I cant wait to read the rest of your stories and I hope you never stop writing :)

~Kim

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