Reading Reviews From Member: LunarLuna
  
224 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LunarLunaIrrevocable: Chapter 1

9th March 2013:
I am... absolutely blown away.
I was so excited about taking your banner request (I'm abeille.reveuse back at TDA ;) ) I came to read this story to get a better feel of it. I've never done that before xD And honestly... wow. I'm yeah. exactly that, blown away.

The words you've used just struck me so deeply... "And darkness. It surrounds her always, its twisted arms wrapped around her fragile body, refusing to let go. She wants to feel something, so she reaches out a hand. Itís shaking slightly, but not from the cold. She presses it against the icy glass, wishing she could open the window. " this is... absolutely perfect.

I can tell you've been through a lot just by reading this, just by the sensibility you've demonstrated writing this. A true gem! You know I haven't reviewed anything in over a year? I've dusted off my old HPFF account just to tell you how much I was touched by your story.

I promise the banner I make you will be the best I've ever made ^_^

~June

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! I really appreciate this amazing review!

I'm so happy you decided to read my story (and the banner is absolutely perfect for it, by the way) and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

You haven't reviewed anything in over a year? Wow, I'm humbled that this is your first story in a while! I'm very glad you were touched by it.

Courtney:)


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Review #2, by LunarLunaBlossoming: one

4th August 2012:
Hello! I'm here from the review tag ;) So first off I'd like to say I like the concept, and how this is going!^^ You have cool characters, that seem realistic and the humor's pretty good. I'd only suggest working on some more description because the chapter is a little fast-paced and it's hard to follow with all the dialogue and hardly any description.

I know it's hard, I do the same thing, description's kinda dull to write when you're trying to fill in with humor and a lot of action, but it really helps the chapter flow and overall feel. It makes the chapter seem a little less charged and the humor's even funnier because it's more... hum.. "surprising" if you know what I mean? Since there are softer, more informal parts, the silly internal rants of characters sound even better ;)

Other than that the french was okay but with a few tiny grammatical errors. Don't worry, it's still pretty good, it's just because I did most of my schooling up until now in french ;) So basically it should be:

"Je suis desolee. Je ne parle pas anglais!"

You add an "e" because the speaker is feminine. I know, french is weird and complicated xD

and:

"Pas de probleme. Comment tu t'appelle? Moi c'est Louis et je suis francais, en fait... ma mere est francaise... Mais elle m'a appris la langue."

Here it's the same thing for the mon/ma. since her mother is (obviously) a woman, it's "ma" instead of "mon" as for the rest it's not important, just me twiddling so that's it's a slightly more realistic and less robotic french speech ;) the translation changes a bit though, it'd be:

"No problem. What's your name? I'm Louis and I'm French, well... my mother's french... but she taught me the language"

So now that I've finished my french grammar class xD (sorry about that by the way! I just can't help myself when I see french text ;) ) I just wanted to say this is really good!^^ I love Louis/OC and I really like where this is going! :D

xxx

-June

PS: The accents in the french quotes came out as weird symbols in the review so I had to replace them by the regular no-accent letters, you had the accents right though, just saying in case you were worrying :P

Author's Response: Thank you!
Yeah, it seems pretty fast paced to me as well but when I have more time, I'll probably add more details :)
I can't believe I forgot the extra 'e'! That was the only bit I used to be good at! Argh! But thank you for pointing it out :D
Hm... I may change it to your way, it does make more sense. I only learnt the robotic way in school ;)
It's alright, French grammar lessons are always welcomed :D
Thank you so much again! I love Louis/OC stories too ;)
Thanks for reviewing :D


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Review #3, by LunarLunaTask One Challenge - Illusoire: Illusoire

3rd August 2012:
Personally, I like the summary, I think it's nice, and really does work with the story :) I really liked this fanfic. I thought it had an interesting concept (a little weird to me since I've always shipped Salazar with Rowena, in my head-canon, so having him with Helena is... special...)It was a little confusing tough. I was never sure when she was talking about Salazar, and when she was talking about her fiance...

Other than that slight confusion though (which is probably only me and my being tired xD) I thought it was wonderful. I liked how you wrote this story, and especially how you wrote Helena. She seemed perfectly in harmony with the way i picture her from the small snippets we've seen of the grey lady. I also liked how this was written, from what we know of Helena, she really did keep coming back. even after the Bloody Baron killed her... I find the internal turmoil of emotions you've portrayed here were well written and fascinating. Well done!^^

xxx

-June

Author's Response: First of all thank you so much for taking time to review! I'm glad you thought the summary fit especially as I had concerns about it. Well to be honest with you in my head canon it's also Rowena/Salazar but I wanted to write about these two characters and all of a sudden it turned into a romance, which wasn't the thing I had been going for. I had more of a friendship like idea in my head and then BOOM Romance. Hmm if more people have the same feeling I will definitely change that.

Thank you! Yes she did come back, even as a ghost! Thank you once again!


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Review #4, by LunarLunaRegret: The Secret

28th July 2012:
~Review Swap~

That last line. The last line shook me hard. It was like reading Edgar Alan Poe while thinking you were reading a romance story. Everything goes fine until that last line that sends shivers down your back. I'm not sure how to react to this... I've always thought of Draco as being good inside. Like his mother but outside like his father (kinda like Harry xD) so this doesn't concur with my own personal head canon but... wow. Way to creep up on someone! Very well written by the way :)

I think this was a great piece of work, I'd only suggest looking it over because I found a couple of typos, but other than that... fantastic! :)

Keep this up and I think you could make a sequel... but it's not necessary. It might drag on if you don't do it perfect ;) I think this was an ending in itself, but if you feel confident that you have more to bring to this, by all means, do it! :)

xxx

-June

Author's Response: Hello, I just this second left your review :) I wrote at the top 'yay! First' but then subbmited it and realised some one just left a review! Awkward :/

Thank you so much!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D Hmm, I always thought there was some goodness in Draco too, but this was just kinda a random fic. I had no idea who I was writing until the end and that he killed her until that very last line! Haha!

Yeah, what I think I might do is write a sequel and see how it is. If I think I can do them all (or I might just do them all) I'll put it up :) I'll let you know if I do write one :) xx


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Review #5, by LunarLunaSix O'clock: Six O'clock

26th July 2012:
I've always loved reading stream of consciousness's they have this dreamy aura that's fascinating^^ Yours wasn't an exception, apart from general confusion as to where it is and what was going on, this was really great. Then again the confusion might have been what you were aiming for I don't know... :) In any case, the ending gave the flavor to it. A sort of abrupt ending we don't really understand. Like a mother hugging her child and suddenly, he can't his bruise anymore? That sort of this. It's an odd feeling and I'm not sure if it's positive or negative but it's certainly unique and interesting!

That was possibly the less useful, less clear review I've ever written, xD So since I personally hate to be confused as to if the reviewer liked or disliked my story, I shall clarify: I loved it. It's weird and special and fun and I love it. ;)

Great job!

xxx

-June

Author's Response: I loved writing SOC I think it's the best way to write, I've always gotten the best results from it.

The ending was confusing wasn't it XD I think it was meant to be that way.

Thank you for the review :)


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Review #6, by LunarLunaTask One Challenge: A Name To Live Up To: The Bedtime Story

26th July 2012:
Aww, that was so sweet and well written!^^ I loved the way Cedric was all excited and rambly at the very beginning, it sounded exactly like a little kid coming back from his first day of school. :3 Very well written, and the way you portrayed Cho was stunning too, I think you really captured her character well, and gave her a strong motherly touch that I found incredibly beautiful.^^

Apart from the characterization, I also love the general story, how Cho told the four challenges was great^^ And I have to admit I hadn't even seen the ending coming xD Though it probably should have been predictable what with the beginning, and it being Cho and telling that particular story... but I think was the way you wrote it. I felt almost clueless just like little Cedric^^

Very cute story!

xxx

-June

Author's Response: I'm so glad I got the characterisation right; I was worried about writing like an 11 year old! x'D

Haha I'm glad you were caught by surprise!! :D I feel like that would help you connect with little Ced :)

Thanks for the review!! :)


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Review #7, by LunarLunaCaught in the Net: Of critters and men

26th July 2012:
Okay so that was hilarious!^^ I love Louis and am really sad that Louis/OC is so... rare!!! OoO So far I think your characters are interesting though I didn't quite get the feel of Dom yet :) I love the plotline and cliff-hangers are quite interesting ;) And really? A kiss in chapter one? That's unheard of!! xD I like it though :P

The only thing I could suggest is a... tightening in flow? Not sure how to explain it, but your character seems to be a little too rambly, though I know that's what you were aiming for here's one of the little tricks I've learned from years (okay just one) of writing humor: don't insist on the funny parts. If you just slide the crazy odd comparisons and your character's rambly nature as though they were completely normal and not different or weird in the least, it gives a much better effect ;) Just a little tip :P

Keep this up because I like where it's going and it's really good :)

xxx

-June

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review! =)

I love Louis as well and since he usually is either a sidekick or just another Weasley, I really wanted to give him some chance to show what he's capable of.

I really like to surprise the readers, so if I got there with the kiss, all the better. =)

I will check the flow, thanks for pointing it out. This is the closest I have ever written a romcom, so hopefully it will work out.


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Review #8, by LunarLunaChasing the Storm: Prologue

26th July 2012:
First off I wanted to say that your writing is beautiful :) The concept of the chapter was simple, yet the way you wrote it made it particularly interesting. Maybe all the more interesting since I can relate to Lily xD And that's precisely why I liked it. She sounds real. in only 500 words or so I can already get a good feel of her personality and that's great!^^

You did a great job writing this! :)

xx

-June

Author's Response: Thank you! I worked a lot to get it the way it is :) Lily's a great character, I'm glad you like her! Thanks so much for dropping by!

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Review #9, by LunarLunaTask One : The Dragon of his Heart: The Dragon of his Heart

26th July 2012:
Aww... :3 This was sweet!^^ I love the concept of the story, how Frank could see Neville's courage bubbling inside him as he was just a child... it's wonderful... I think you did good characterizations too :D Neville particularly, felt real. I love how you also seemed to pinpoint exactly where the change starts to occur in Neville. Of course his courage blasts through in the seventh book and that's when he shines, but you can see after book four that he starts to grow and I loved how you gave it a reason, but not an immediate change either. That letter of Frank's was a seed which you can see started to grow. Very interesting concept!! :D

I think Neville's grandmother could have done with a bit more harshness as for characterization, but she was lovely so I forgive you xD

I would suggest revising this as there are a few typo's/spelling mistakes (For example you wrote "prophesy" instead of "prophecy")

overall I think you did a really good job on this!!^^ Excellent story! :)

xxx

-June

Author's Response: I know this story is being revised so the typos will be rid of very soon :D

I really didn't know I was taking this story there when I started it. I really didn't know what I was doing, just the plot came in to my head and I wrote, and ended up there :D Guess dreaming is good. Daydreaming, better ;)

I thought I made her sound harsh! Oh well you know, maybe I'm soft :P

Thank you so much for the review June. I'm glad you like it :D

*Hugs*


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Review #10, by LunarLunaThe Veiled Poetess: Prologue: The First Poem

26th July 2012:
~Requested Review~
Hey it's LunarLuna with your review!^^ I've decided to go about this in a more structured way then I usually do for not really any precise reason... ;)

Flow: The flow is a little too fast to be easily followed, I'd suggest adding in a bit more description of the surrounding space as well as the interaction between characters because right now it's a little hard to follow and not really well defined :)

Characters: The chapter being short, we don't see much of them, but I think you've played them well. In just this short chapter you've managed to establish the characters personalities and behavior in a very realistic and tangible matter. Well done!^^

Grammar: I spotted a few typo's and minor errors that I'm too lazy to transcript xD but I'm sure if you just did a quick re-read you would spot them and fix them easily :)

Overall: I love the concept of the story and the poem as well, I think with just a bit more description this would be really astonishingly brilliant. As is, it's still a really great story :D Keep it up!!^^

xxx

-June

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much!

Ok, thanks for pointing that out :) I'll go back and see where I can add in more detail :)

Yep, I do just that. I'm not very good at spelling and grammar :/

Thanks again and I hope you read and review the next chappies to come :D x


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Review #11, by LunarLunaDescending: Descending

23rd July 2012:
~Requested Review~

The feel of this story is possibly what struck me the most as different from most stories I've read. The way it is written, in my case I've found myself to be reading it very... passivly, like an outsider, seeing Harry go through all those events without really feeling them... until the last sentence.

It was the last two words that really spiced up the entire text in my point of view. It struck me hard and gave me that long shiver in my spine. Because they change everything. It's like now we aren't sure if he died... or if his paranoia died. We aren't sure if it is him dying and his paranoia speaking or the opposite if you know what I mean. It makes for confusion and struggle in the reader's mind.

Which is a good thing in this sort of fic, and possibly in any sort of fic when that was the goal.

I also feel like if you have another One-Shot idea for a mental illness on Harry's part, you should go for it. Because the mere concept is fascinating.

Throughout the books JK has made Harry out to be such a hero that people tend to forget two simple things: he has flaws, and no matter how magic, he remains humain. This sort of fic brings back this reality in the readers mind. In fact, after all Harry's been through and at such a young age, it would not be surprising, it would actually be probable, that he would have some sort of post-trauma. And Harry's paranoia seems to be a good choice concerning his background. He would be so convinced of his visions being real, what with his connections to voldemort and with his "hearing voices" back in CoS, that he would not even consider him being wrong. Accusing his friends of betraying him would fit him too, oddly, because though he trusted his friends... he never really did. Always trusting his own impulses before that of others.

All in all, I think this is a particularly interesting piece of work.

You did a great job on it and I would encourage you to write this other One-Shot idea you were thinking about :)

Hope I was helpful!

xxx

-June

Author's Response: I'm glad that this one-shot seemed to have a distinctive tone about it; Harry's emotions are so bizarre in this story that it would be a bit weird if it didn't. ;) This story's actually one of my favorite things I've yet written, and it sparked the transition into making more of my one-shots stylistic, instead of just straight prose, so I'm pretty fond of it.

Harry definitely does die at the end of this; that's irrefutable. :3 The euphemism "passed on" and the redness on the floor point to that, as does the line about freedom. Harry's been freed from that paranoia, from Voldemort inside his head, even though in actuality Voldemort no longer exists inside of him.

I think it would have been so, so hard for Harry to just bounce back after Voldemort was gone, like everything was fine. Nearly his entire life had been based solely around the fact that an evil wizard wanted to kill him, and that he was the savior of the wizarding world. Coupled with the fact that he was a Horcrux, that's a pretty powerful burden for anyone to bear, let alone a teenage boy.

I'm glad you liked this! :) Thank you for being willing to review it for me. I definitely am going to write that one-shot, though it'll be different from this one in several ways. Thank you again!!


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Review #12, by LunarLunaBefore They Fall: Sirius Black

21st July 2012:
That's so sad! :( Poor Lily... she lost them both at the same time... that's terrible!

And now, on a more technical point of view because I don't want to start sobbing madly over fitional characters (not that it's never happened before, but you know, I try and avoid it as much as possible) I think that the concept of this chapter is interesting, I like the way it started, weaving us is as though it was a brand new world, as though we had never heard of Harry Potter. Very well done! ;)

I think your narration is stunning *is secretly super jealous* the only things I'd work a bit is the dialogue, it seems somewhat rushed so maybe pay a little closer attention to it? Just try to keep it natural ;)

All in all a very good fic, perfect grammar, nice flow, I can't really comment the plot with just reading chapter one, but I like where it seems to be going.

Good job!^^

xxx

-June

Author's Response: That's exactly what I wanted to do! Obviously we all know about Harry Potter, but I really feel like it makes it start out as more of a 'story' if I try and introduce it...

Thank you so much for your compliment! I will look over the dialogue, though I was sort of going for the rushed tense feel because of their concern for Sirius.

Thank you so much for your amazing words! I will read over the conversations to see if there's any way to add in more natural pauses :)!

Jami


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Review #13, by LunarLunaMagic: it certainly does love you

21st July 2012:
humm... this was written like a row of honey products in a supermarket. Let me explain because it's an odd metaphor xD

Your writing is stunning, it flows like honey, that's the actual feel I got from reading your story, but because of the content, the way it's all sectionned in seperate events is like glass, an invisble harsh line in between sections which forces the reader to start a brand new experience and restart like it was an introduction, for the honey in this bottle is different. but then at the end, all the bottles of honey are all honey and they all stand together on the shelf.

best way I found to explain what I meant lol :P

So personally, I feel it's interesting, but slightly dizzying, maybe if you made the paragraphs slightly longer so we'd get more time to get "used" to the "jar of honey"? ;)

Also, I thought your concept, with Cho loosing her innocence and struggling to finally get her freedom, was really interesting. I love the dragon you made out Cho to be, it's fascinating.^^

You did a fantastic job on this! :3

xxx

-June

Author's Response: Oooh! Thank you so much for this review. Sometimes, an author has to stick to their decisions, and this is one such case.

It was a very precisely made stylistic decision to keep the scenes brief and fleeting. This story isn't long winded or whimsical, and in order to portray the atmosphere that I chose to portray, the short sentences and scenes -- her flashes of humanity flickering in the flames of her transformation -- were intentionally done. Sometimes less is more, and I feel that this is one of those instances. Maybe if you were inside the honey jar looking out at the world, you'd see a world equally concise -- flashes as shoppers walked by, memories of times gone by flickering in the darkness when the store's lights shut off for the night? But I digress. It is your metaphor and not mine. :) Sorry the style of this piece wasn't your cup of tea.

However, I am glad that you enjoyed the concept and the imagery here!! Thank you so, so much for this review and for your honest criticism. :)

xoxo
Melissa


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Review #14, by LunarLunaGoodbye: Goodbye

11th July 2012:
aww... this was sweet and sad :'( Poor marauder-era kids... none of them had it easy on them didn't they?

This was really good! :) I loved how you portrayed Sirius, I think you've depicted him in a matter very close to what we've seen of him in the books :')

Great story! :)

xxx

-LunarLuna

Author's Response: Thank you! I know, they had such bittersweet lives, I think that's why they are my favourite.

Thank you!!
Jas, xx


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Review #15, by LunarLunaA Different Man: While I hate one.

11th July 2012:
aww, you've done it again Liz! :) I haven't read too many of your stories but you're the reference when it comes to Harry/Ginny xD This was soft and sweet and the concept of opposites was interesting and beautiful. Kinda like the poems I like to write but in longer, clearer and more elaborate xD

The only thing I would suggest is shortening up the end. The part when she explains how much Tom has hurt her and how Harry has healed her. I love it don't get me wrong, but it ends up being slightly repetitive towards the end, so I would just make it A LITTLE shorter ;)

Other than that, I thought it was amazingly cute. :) No need to tell you how well you portray Harry and Ginny, you've probably been told numerous times already! ;)

You make me want to write Harry/Ginny xD I might :P If you're willing to give me few tips xD The only bit of that ship I've ever written is a short Song Fic (which i think was actually written with your help...? If I remember well. :P)

Anyhow, this was a great read! Sorry for not full-filling my review swap duties earlier! xD

xxx

-June

PS: you wrote "beated" instead of "beta'd" in your summary xD Just signaling the typo :P

Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't know was the reference was me, but that makes me happy inside and out :) I didn't know you like to write poems, that's so cool!

Thanks for the advice, I was wondering if it was getting a bit long, it just for some random reason feels like I'm cheating if it's less than 1,000 words.

Thank you, and even though I have, it feels wonderful every time I hear it again.

Yes! I remember that, that was such a long time ago, I would love to help you whenever you need it, just pop over and ask.

Thank you so much,

Lizzie


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Review #16, by LunarLunaEnemies with Benefits : Too Close

26th June 2012:
Try the simple editor ;) It worked miracles my spacing problems! :D

Haha, I was actually very close to forgetting all about this fic, but this was a nice read!^^ Short chapter as you said, but interesting. I'd just love to have a chapter in Fred's POV to really grasp what went on in there. Exaggerated drama just to get a snog or something else? xD

Anyhow, this was fun, don't forget about this story again! It's much too entertaining!^^

xx

-June

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Review #17, by LunarLunaPurpose: Prologue

25th June 2012:
*insert gostly noises and the crackling of branches here since that was the first thought that popped through my mind upon finishing to read this*

On to those thoughts that can be put into words now :P This is definitely interesting... and annoyingly short^^ You said this has few reads? That's sad because it's a great fic! :D If you nudge me every once in a while when you update I might actually read and review the entire thing xD

Hum, so basically now I'm wondering how this happened. How did Lucas lose his memory and why in the world did he say "wish granted"? I think that line's actually the best one. Just the fact that it's so odd and especially, that no one seems to pay attention to it while it's what gives the substance to the entire chapter.

He WANTED to lose his memories, or so it appears. that changes the entire prospect of the, slightly cliche you'll have to admit, memory loss idea. It makes it interesting because it leads us to wonder, what could have happened so terrible that he'd purposely loose his memory?

I'm going to leave now before I leave twenty pages of philosophical thinking and ramblings about the use of particular words and comma's in the fic xD

I'm a slytherin but sometimes I feel like a claw xD Okay so, one last thing, the fact that his name was whispered by someone other than him. How utterly... peculiar. This is going to lead to something bigger I can feel it! What will it be this time, a very large conspiration of some kind? xD Knowing you it won't be simple :P

So, this is awesome, maybe i'll make you a pretty banner to bring more people to read it^^ If you want me too that is :P

xx

-June

Author's Response: *Brushes away cobwebs* I should work on replying fast again huh?

Anyways, I will definitely nudge you when this is updated (Don't expect it to be soon xD).

Anyways, all I can say to your ramblings is you'll find out (Actually I might write this sooner than later...) sometime ;) [Also I'm glad you liked that line, it's my personal favorite]

Feeling like a claw isn't so bad :p Anyways, this whole story is peculiar Lunar, the whole thing. ;) Whaddya mean knowing me it won't be simple? :p

I'D LOVE YOU EVEN MORE IF YOU DID.

Mike.


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Review #18, by LunarLunaA Godlike Science: A Man of Letters

19th June 2012:
Woah... I've had the re-read the entire thing three times before I could fully grasp the story. Something about the flow, it's soft and lulling. The last line is particularly stricking. The unfinished letter is intriging, sad, almost disappointing and when you get to the end the line hits you like a bullet because it's... blunt? Different from the soft, sweet melodious voice from the rest of the text. Very.. powerful. :)

I've always found it difficult to write a complete story in a few words and you've managed to deliver that in such a beautiful way, it's stunning. Honestly, this is a great work, it's beautiful and we can tell you've spent a lot of time choosing your words. Very, very nice piece.

10/10 and this is something I don't give lightly, you should really be proud of this :)

xxx

-June

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much. Erm. I was worried that the end line was a bit too abrupt, actually, but I'm glad it worked for you; I'm also glad you liked the narrative voice in general (it could have turned out a bit pretentious).

You flatter me far too much. You've made my day. Thank you so much (again).


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Review #19, by LunarLunaRun For Your Life: Chapter 1

18th June 2012:
You've managed to make me fall in love with Draco... Poor little Draco :'( I've always loved Narcissa, and liked Draco, but now I think I love Draco just a little bit more. :) (I'm still slightly affronted/find it hilarious that the evil woman is named June/Miranda (you only changed the second mention xD))

This was so sad, poor Cissy having to go through all this!! :'( (Horrible Bellatrix and her unworthy advice! PFF! Talk about a sister!)

You make me want to make Malfoy One-Shots, I really am on the verge of joining the Malfoy-adorators-club! xD I already love Scorpius, Narcissa and Draco, if you manage to make me like Lucius (not just slightly fan-girl over him like in your marriage one-shot xD) then you will be my hero and I will officially write a thousand-and-one Malfoy fics. Promise!! xD

I think I saw a typo somewhere in there (you wrote H instead of He at someplace I think^^) but nobody cares :P

A great read as usual! (I added you as my favorite authors, just cus you're pretty awesome and because I really want to see if you'll be able to make me love Lucius xD

xx

-June (Not the evil one!!

Author's Response: I know you aren't evil; you're a sweetie *hugs*

I'm so sorry; June is like, my all time favorite name ever, and yeahhh;P

DO IT! DO IT! I will read, review, and favorite every single one of them! I will make you like Lucius! I will write a story just for you, and I'll get a pretty banner to represent the wrapping paper and I'll say 'for June because she's awesome and she wants to join the lucius fan girl club' or something like that(;

Thank you so much! *tears up* you're so sweet!

xx

Ever


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Review #20, by LunarLunaTrue love: A path that only fate can break: Oh my my my my

18th June 2012:
aww! ^^ That was so adorable! :D I loved the begining with Teddy and Victoire as small children, I thought itr was so cute and sweet^^ I love how you integrated the lyrics too (I love that song! ;) )

I think the only thing that should've had a little more work on was the love declaration, it sort of happened too... quickly. I mean, Victoire's "I love you" really could've passed as a "you're my best friend how could you leave me a lone you evil person!" so I though it might've been fun to dwell on that scene a little longer :)

Other than that, I love the characterisation^^ Victoire is so sweet and loving and Teddy is awesome :) I think you really managed to let their personnalities shine through such a small one-shot! :D

All in all, an awesome fic, great job on this! Seriously, if you write fluffy-romancy stuff this good in all your other fics I might just get addicted xD

xx

-June

Author's Response: Hey thank you for this review. It was a sort of spur of the moment plunny I got from the One True Pairing Challenge so it was wrote very quickly which means I probably should go back and look it over again!

The song is very easy to work with as it was written by such a fabulous artist and the lyrics mean so much in their own right that I thought it would be quite easy to add to them and I hope I did that quite well!

I'm glad I managed to shine their personalities through! Throughout this I managed to hate both of their personalitys and make them very whiney, particularly Victoire but I think I got there in the end!

Thanks for the review :D


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Review #21, by LunarLunaBliss: I Want the Bliss

15th June 2012:
Cynic. That was the first word that came to my mind upon reading this. Cynic, and bitter, and pessimistic and... interesting. I found this odd and great and verging on scary. The way she wanted everyone to see her... it was very... worrying.

But the flow of the story was great. Like an internal spiral into hell... I know how that feels (I've been trhough some rough times) and I think you've pictured it well. It's not something you can properly explain to a person, but through a story, you make it possible. All my respect!

We all know the subject is a very sensible one. But I think you've managed to depict it in an interesting way. Great job, it isn't an easy thing to do, I'm not quite sure I could do it, personnaly :)

xx

-June

Author's Response: Hey June! Sorry for taking so long to reply to this. Thanks for the review swap, and I'm glad you liked the story and thought I was able to depict it without it sounding fake or over-written. :)

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Review #22, by LunarLunaIf Wishes Were Fishes: Deja Vu

6th June 2012:
My initial reactions to the end of the chapter, and I quote: A dream? No, wait... WHAT?
My sencond reaction: Polyjuice? WHAT???
My reaction after a few second of blank: Who did this? I BLAME ALEX!
My reaction after that: I BLAME SEVERUS!!! No wait, I love Sev!! I BLAME ALEX!

So let me just hope I'm right for once!! *hates Alex*

But great chapter! Excpet the party could've had a bit more desciption, as I didn't even understand that the party was started before the actual "RUN!!!" ;)

Great chapter!! And you must update soon!!!

xxx

-June

Author's Response: hahaha yeah I hate Alex too. But sorry about the party bit! i realized after I read your review that it was slightly vague... if I get a chance I'll go back and add it bit more to clarify that, thanks for pointing it out!

Anyways, glad you liked this chapter! more soon :)


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Review #23, by LunarLunaA Storm in a Teacup: What time do you call this?

3rd June 2012:
Review Tag! :)

Okay so first off I wanted to say that this was super cute! :3 And funny^^ Haha I was laughing when Tia was punching her friend, made me think of my mom and her best friend (except this actually hurts my momís friend! Power-woman I tell you!! xD) I love that all your characters have personalities and flaws, too often (and especially in Next Gen for some reasonÖ) characters have little to no flaws, which really gets on my nerves personnaly (Characterisation being one of my rare strong points xD) but I think youíre doing it super well!!^^ Keep that up! :)

One thing Iíd comment on is perhaps you might want to insist on some things a little more. As in Tea is super angry with Hugo and rambles on about how late he is, but when he arrives, she forgives him instently. It might just give a little more OOMPH to the story if you started it when Hugo was arriving, and had all that rambling thrown at him, instead of just before, because if youíd have went on about that after Hugo arrived I get that it wouldíve sounded repetitive, but now it just seems slightly unrealistic. Donít worry about it though, just suggestions and me being picky;)

Oh another thing Iíd like to point out: I think your plot-y thing with Eleanor is definitely interesting. Iíll be following this, and giving reviews relatively often ;)

Hope I wasn't to harsh with all my CC :/ Cus it's a great story!! No seriously keep this up, itís lovely!^^

9/10

~June

Author's Response: Reading that about your mum made me laugh ^_^ and it makes me glad that Tia punching Hugo makes you think of that :P Eek really? Characterisation is a big worry for me so I'm so relieved I've done it well!

And yeah, they're some good points and I might have to go back and add a little but of that in because I read it back and she does forgive him awfully quickly O_o

Your CC wasn't harsh, in fact it was very helpful! Thanks so much :)

- hetty


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Review #24, by LunarLunaViewing Life Differently: A World of Difference

3rd June 2012:
~Slytherin Review Tag
.

Wow that was very... intense. I don't think I've ever read a story on here that seriously... I dunno how to explain it... move me? Not quite the word... I wouldn't say saddened or scared either... eh. dunno, made me feel like a small little girl with wide eyes and a quivering lip? Dunno how to word it differently :P

In any case the angst was very... angsty we could really feel the characters pain. Very well written!!^^

And with a touch of hope at the end, that was nice^^ Only it was slightly confusing, at first when you said raven hair I thought "Severus" instantly so I was slightly befuddled by the hazel eyes and by him not knowing that Lily is a witch. Maybe just clear that part up a little? i had to go and check the main page to be sure it was James we were talking about... or maybe just a change of adjective when talking about the hair, dunno, raven is a very dark, but very intelligent animal, in mythology and I kinda unconsciously associate it with Snape, though that might be just me, I dunno!^^

In any case, great job on this!! :D Loved it!^^

xx

-June

Author's Response: Haha, I see. Thanks, no matter what you call it. ;)

Anyway, I've always heard both James and Harry's hair as raven coloured..huh. :P Sorry for the confusion. And they're both supposed to be eleven, right before they go off to school - which is why Lily is confused about the Galleon. :P

Thanks again!


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Review #25, by LunarLunaI Love You, Mrs.Malfoy: Our Forever Falling Together

29th May 2012:
aww! :') So sweet! I think your characterisation of Narcissa was splendid. Exactly the way I picture her at least! I'm not totally sure about Lucius, I usually picture him as a very cold and (ironically) cool. Not really the one to go into a firery passion and loose sight of everything when confronted with his wife... however I liked the way you wrote him^^ A little odd, yes but my girly little heart can't help but love the way he acts xD Speaking of which, I absolutely adored the "aura" of the fic. The mood if you wish. You could feel Narcissa's longing. You could feel her happiness and anticipation. Well done!^^
The fic was short, sweet and well written :)

*favorites fic* ;)

xx

-June

Author's Response: Thanks(: *hugs* I looove Lucius; don't worry, I totally fangirl over him as well! (Join the club, we have shorts that say Malfoy on the back;D I actually have those.) Thanks! You're such a sweetheart; you're making me blush! Thanks again!

xx

Ever


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