Reading Reviews From Member: AlexFan
  
1,295 Reviews Found

Review #26, by AlexFanConnect the Dots: hermione

24th February 2014:
Hello there! I've finally gotten around to leaving this review for you.

I'll admit, I'm a Ron/Hermione shipper so I wasn't very fond of Viktor in terms of romance when it comes to Hermione but it's hard to hate the guy when he seems so damn sweet. I liked your portrayal of him in this. I could definitely see him being someone who doesn't want to travel. Being a Quidditch player must've taken him all over the world so he's probably seen almost all of it if not most of it.

I enjoyed reading about Hermione and Viktor looking through photos together. I got this warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach that I get when I think of fun times with friends and such. I liked how they were so relaxed around each other and were laughing together. It put a large smile on my face.

I've never really read a story written in this way before where the time is recorded throughout the day. It was interesting and new. I wish I knew why Hermione left Ron though because that would've been interesting to read but I understand it might not have fit in with the story very well.

But anyway, thank you for the very enjoyable read!

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Review #27, by AlexFanCarpe Diem: And Watch The Mess

24th February 2014:
Woohoo! I'm so excited that you finally got a chance to update! I was expecting something a lot harsher to be going on this chapter because everyone seems so hellbent on being in these cliques of theirs. I assumed that everyone would just jump into outright war. By the looks of it though, Ridley seems to be exactly what Hogwarts needed judging by the fact that Rufus offered to hang out with her and Dom hasn't ripped her to shreds and James actually seems to notice her existence.

Speaking of James, woah! Where did that come from! The very last thing that I expected was for him to actually apologize for his behaviour. It seems that maybe he isn't such a jerk after all. Obviously James doesn't get told off a lot but it's nice of him to take responsibility when he is in the wrong.

The only CC I have was that you used the wrong form of your/you're throughout the chapter but other than that I really enjoyed this and I thought it was great. Good luck with school!

Author's Response: Thank you for the sweet review. Hopefully the reason why there hasn't been outright war will be revealed in the next chapter. But your right, they needed this outburst. I loved writing James. I think after the last chapter everyone assumed he was an utter jerk but I didn't really want him to be quite like that. His parents have obviously raised him with proper manners and morals, and he has just gotten so mixed up in this Hogwarts that he forgets who he is. More on him will be revealed.

Thank you for pointing out the your/you're thing, I will have to check up on that every time I right.
Thank you again for the so sweet review


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Review #28, by AlexFanConfronting Temptation: Visits with Stolen Kisses

22nd February 2014:
What? What? This cannot be happening. There cannot be someone coming into the middle of my ship. REX WHY ARE YOU HERE WHY HAVE YOU SHOWED UP CAN YOU JUST NOT PLEASE!

That was one heck of a surprise that's for sure. I was so surprised when Albus showed up and it was even more awesome how lovely he was being to Rose and how he was willing to accept Scorpius and get to know him if he meant a lot to Rose.

I'd gotten all excited because Rose and Scorpius were making head way and I thought they were going to get together and I could rejoice and be happy because they were back together but then Carla had to go and screw everything up and Rex showed up and now they haven't gotten together and all of that talking did nothing because they're back to square one. I get that Carla was trying to do a nice thing and everything but come on, she had to ask Rose whether she still had feelings for Rex instead of just assuming that she still liked Rex.

Author's Response: Yeah Albus had grown up quite a bit over the years. He is willing to accept him because he is now in a similar situation and he can see things from her perspective.
Rose and Scorpius can never just seem to get the right timing on things. It is always something. Yeah Carla should have asked, but Rex was coming back to New York regardless of if she asked, his job had moved him there.
Anyways keep on reading it gets better with some more Scor/Rose action. Thank you for reading.


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Review #29, by AlexFanThe Invisible Thief : It's Kind of Christmas

21st February 2014:
I'm finally catching up on this story! Phew! You update really quickly which is great and everything but anyway, moving on to the actual review.

The only thing that I want to point out about this chapter that just kept eating away at me and nagging me and just occupying my mind was the evaporating thing. I'm fairly certain that you meant apparate not evaporate but it might've been something like autocorrect depending on what you wrote the chapter on. But anyway, that's only thing that really really bothered me about the chapter.

This chapter wasn't as action packed as the previous ones but it was still pretty entertaining. I got to the part where Louis and Brielle were talking about Amelia and stuff and Albus showed up and Brielle was all "Jealous much?" And he was all "no, you're obviously mine," for a second there I was like "Woah there friend, you need to slow down." I truly believed that Albus was actually convinced that Albus thought he and Brielle were dating and that she was actually his and that put me off a little bit.

On the other hand, I kind of feel bad for Brielle though because she just friend zoned Albus without meaning to and she really wants to be with him. But hey at least Albus didn't act like Brielle owed him for the fact that he was her friend and really nice to her so brownie points for you Albus. But it was good that the two of them had a talk and sorted this entire relationship business out and stuff.

I still ship Albus and Brielle though!

Author's Response: Someone else pointed out that whole evaporating thing! Sorry about that, I didn't know which one to use! I think my macbook may have autocorrected it and I just didn't correct it but it's my mistake! I'll try to correct it next time I use it!

Albus was just joking, don't worry about it! He's not that confident :) haha. Brielle and Albus are just a lil bit of a mess but I'm glad you think that.

I still ship them too! It'll happen eventually :) xx


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Review #30, by AlexFanThe Wandering One : Flanders Fields

20th February 2014:
Okay first of all, woohoo you posted another chapter! Second of all WOOHOO VICTOIRE KISSED SAM MY SHIP IS COMING TRUE THIS IS CANON PEOPLE THIS IS CANON! I'm so excited to see what happens between the two of them from now on.

I do agree with Victoire though and the letter that Teddy sent her. You'd think that he would mention something about her personality but all he's focused on in that entire letter was how gorgeous Victoire was. She's definitely better off with Sam (WOOHOO THEYRE TOGETHER!)

It's so awesome that Victoire got to visit Flander's Fields though, I hear about it every year for Remembrance Day but it was lovely to read descriptions about what it looked like and such. You definitely seem to be doing your homework on travel sites with this story.

I love how everywhere that Victoire travels she runs into something or someone new and talks to them and gains more knowledge from them. I actually feel like I'm traveling with her while reading this story. If school was as interesting as Victoire's travel adventures I would love it so much more.

I absolutely loved this chapter and I'm excited for the next one! Awesome job on this!

Author's Response: Hello! :) Ahh first of all can I just say how excited this review made me? Thank you so much!

They kissed! :) They were always going to, really. I have some sneaky plans for the next couple of chapters so I'm really excited to see what you think! :)

Yes! Okay, I'm really glad you thought her reaction was realistic. I got so annoyed just writing it so that definitely came through to Victoire - Sam is a lot less sappy and a lot more fun than Teddy at the moment!

I'm glad you liked Flanders Fields as well! I really loved writing about it and thought it would be quite interesting to see the ghosts there. I went there last summer which was the inspiration for this chapter - well, minus the ghosts and magic and such. :P It's wonderful to hear it felt authentic.

This story is so fun to write for that very fact, imagining what a traveling witch might see as she travels. I agree, I wish school was this exciting! :) I'm really glad you like it, this story helps me remember that feeling of traveling again and really makes me happy. :)

Thanks so much for the brilliant review! :D I really love hearing your thoughts. The next chapter should be up in the next week or so! :)


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Review #31, by AlexFanClash: Epilogue

18th February 2014:
One question before I mindlessly start squealing: Did they let Freddie back into Hogwarts after he helped save the Minister or something because the last thing I remember concerning him and Hogwarts was that he got expelled.

But other than that, oh my gosh I can't believe that the story has finally ended! I knew this day would come but I wasn't actually prepared for it. I remember when this was only at something like 20 or so chapters and I was freaking out about the latest thing going on. I remember all of the banners that you went through with this story as well.

It's been so long and James and Agatha and everyone have come so far in terms of character and development. The relationship between James and Aggy is so much healthier now than it used to be. A lot healthier than it used to be. The two of them are so cute together and they go so well and I love how James just tells Agatha that he finds her cute and lists everything about her that he finds cute and it isn't even weird. It's just implied that he does this all of the time. Dom is still as crazy as ever and she wouldn't be Dom if she wasn't crazy, I know that much. I would love to see more of crazy Quidditch captain Dom, she sounds like a hoot.

I was wondering if you were going to continue writing fanfiction or if this is going to be your last fanfiction (which I hope it isn't because you have some other really great stories on your page that I hope you finish writing and I wouldn't mind if there was a sequel to Clash but I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't because the story is over and there could and there isn't anything to write about the characters depending on how you look at it. Besides you're an amazing writer and any story that you wrote I can promise that I would read it). But yeah, I was just wondering about that.

This was such a great story, it was so entertaining and well written and I will always love this fanfiction.

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Review #32, by AlexFanClash: Heal

18th February 2014:
Oh Agatha, I hope you don't change too much as you grow older. I will forever love this girl and everything about her. Honestly, the things that she yelled out at Vespertine while the two of them were fighting was so pure Aggy that it made me smile.

Seriously though, I absolutely loved this part:

"Psychopath?! Psychopath?! I'm striving for justice, here! No one wanted me in power because I'm a woman!"

"No! No one wanted you in power because YOU'RE AN A-HOLE!"

(For the sake of keeping it 12+)

The ending to that fight was pretty unexpected though. I expected some more fighting to happen and such but that ended really quickly.

And one of the parts that I loved most was when Dom walked in and the first thing that she comments on is how hideous Aggy looks. Forget that her best friend almost died and might not have woken up, Aggy's appearance is the most important thing here.

Dom has her priorities straightened out.

And now on to the last chapter!

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Review #33, by AlexFanClash: Helter-Skelter

18th February 2014:
Agatha kicks butt man! She's a little crazy and maybe not always totally mentally stable but the girl can kick some serious butt. I have to admit though, for someone who is in a situation that you just know is going to require quick thinking if something doesn't go right, she doesn't always go for the easiest and most obvious choice. It was understandable that she forgot that she had a wand when she went at henchman number 1 with the broom but I don't understand why she didn't just use Accio to get the taperecorder. Not that it wasn't great watching her be all cool on a broom and all but I think accioing the taperecorder would've been a lot easier.

But anyway, I really enjoyed the chapter.

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Review #34, by AlexFanClash: Darkness

18th February 2014:
I had to stop reading at one point because I was laughing so hard and I was attempting to do it as silently as possible. Oh my God, I will always love Fred Weasley, he is just so funny! Like come on, how many people would actually yell what he yelled as their purpose for needing to get into the ministry.

Personally, I think Agatha should keep that pin of hers that she got. It would cheer me up instantly just by reading it.

I love how she asked out James all awkwardly and listed the things that would most likely happen on their date and how it would still be brilliant nonetheless. Seriously, she and James are killing me with their cuteness. I don't think I can handle the two of them being this adorable!

The plan is going so smoothly though. You'd think they'd spent hours rehearsing this or something because it is just that smooth. If I didn't know better I would say that nothing was going to go wrong and that everything would turn out fine. I've read far too many stories to know that this isn't going to go smoothly. Something is going to happen.

I'm worried about what that something is.

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Review #35, by AlexFanBitten: Bitten

18th February 2014:
This has made me emotional. I don't think I've ever felt so bad for Remus Lupin before in my entire life. I mean sure, I used to pity him before but after reading this wonderful one-shot, I really just want to cry and protect little Remus to keep him from getting hurt.

The beginning was just heart-wrenching to read, I didn't know how I would handle the scene where Remus got attacked but I can safely say that that started me on the road to wanting to bawl my eyes out. The way that you described it just made it seem so very real!

And then the grief that Lyall was going through and the fear that he felt for Remus and how sorry he felt for what he had said about werewolves just broke my heart. One of the saddest things that I've personally found when reading stories is witnessing the regret that parents have when it comes to something that they did that affected their children.

Remus was such a sweet child as well, here he was, getting attacked by a werewolf and he didn't dislike the man who had forced this on him. He didn't wish any ill harm on Greyback, he was just curious and accepting of what had happened. Remus would've made friends quite easily if he hadn't shut himself off from everyone else for fear of hurting them. The part where he got taken to St Mungo's made me feel so bad for him. He had no one to keep him company and he was in so much pain and he just wanted it to stop and I just can't even right now.

I'm an unemotional wreck this was a brilliant one-shot. Great job on it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm constantly blown away by the response to Bitten - it was my first one-shot. When it switches to Lyall's POV, that was originally because when Remus lost consciousness I needed some way to convey what happened next. I then realised just how much potential there was in that line, so what was originally a solution to a problem became central to the story.

This story was one of those ones that pretty much wrote itself - at least I knew where to start, and one I'd got the first sentence down it just poured onto the page. I think I wrote the whole thing in one day! (All 6000 words of it)

Is it bad of me to feel proud whenever someone says I turned them into an emotional wreck? That I can really affect people with my writing- I suppose considering how emotional I get while writing them, it might be expected, but then of course I really get absorbed in my characters when I'm writing.

Thank you! It's always so amazing when I log on and find lovely reviews like this one waiting for me. It's perhaps what I love most about this site.

-Leonore


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Review #36, by AlexFanClash: Overdrive

18th February 2014:
Sometimes I forget that James and Aggy are 15 because they don't act 15. They really really don't. Or maybe people are just more romantic and sweet at 15 in the UK than they are in North America so I don't know.

But yes! The planning has started! I am super pumped for this because I've been waiting so long to see how this would go and end. I was so hoping for a James/Aggy moment because I ship those two almost as much as I ship James/Lily. There's just something about how cute the two of them are that makes my heart swell like a hot air balloon.

Their cuddling was so cute and James worrying about Aggy was so adorable. How can anyone not love James at this point in the story, like come on, he's such a sweetheart. That cuddling escalated really quickly though. One second it was all cute and sweet and the next it was all "can we open some windows in here because it's really warm."

But anyway, I'm so excited for the next chapter!

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Review #37, by AlexFanPlace Your Bets: Not So Weird After All

16th February 2014:
I saw that this was at 99 reviews so I was hoping that maybe I could snag the last spot and be the 100th one.

I haven't read this story in a while because I've been so focused on everything else to do with fanfiction not to mention life in general.

Anyway, I liked this chapter. James and Lily were being all cute together. The banter going on between them had me smiling like an idiot because I always love it when the two of them banter. Plus, they're finally together now which is great because that's always one of the best parts about James/Lily stories.

Just some things that I noticed is that you have a few punctuation mistakes throughout the chapter that I would suggest fixing. And I would also recommend adding in more description as well so that your readers can really picture everything that's going on in the chapter in their heads. Things like the thought processes between James and Lily, maybe describing the atmosphere of the room. Little things like that.

Other than that though, I enjoyed the chapter and good job on it!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #38, by AlexFanThe Wrinkles of the Road: A Coming Storm

8th February 2014:
Wow, things were going all slow and calm throughout this story and then BAM! All of a sudden there's creatures crawling all over the place and injuring people.

I bet when Rose imagined herself fighting monsters she hadn't pictured this many all at once.

It sounds like it isn't safe to step outside of your house anymore at this point. I hope Rose stays safe and doesn't get herself seriously injured though.

I wonder how Scorpius is going to react to the news once Rose tells him (if she decides to tell him).

Author's Response: No, Rose definitely hadn't pictured this many all at once… and yeah, safety is definitely becoming A Problem.

You won't see much of it in the next chapter, but the chapter after it will definitely have a bit of a surprise. ;) I hope you enjoy it!


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Review #39, by AlexFanDecoding the Tutshill Tornados: The One with the Kidnapping

8th February 2014:
What. What is this. What the heck is this. How does Mason know where James lives? Have I missed something while reading? Has James actually told Mason where he lives before this chapter or did he just get Edwards to find out for him.

Speaking of Mason, has NO ONE figured out that this man is a psycho? I would think that it would be fairly obvious at this point but apparently not. I can't believe that he would go to such lengths to kidnap James of all people just because he took the spot that Mason wanted.

I honestly can't believe that Edwards still fancies Avery when she's made it clear that she has no interest in him. Seriously, if the girl wanted to be with him, she would be. Even if Avery did dump James I'm pretty sure that the last person she would go to would be Edwards.

He ordered her a salad after all.

I knew it wasn't Freddie and Bink who kidnapped him though. I just knew it, Freddie and Bink wouldn't kidnap James like that. I kept hoping that I would be proven wrong but apparently I was right in my assumption.

I am seriously scared for James like holy, what's going to happen to him now? I mean, you've hinted that he's probably going to get beat up but I'm more concerned about what else is going to happen to him.

On the bright side, at least Mason and Edwards can get arrested for kidnap and assault now so that's one way you can look at it (I sincerely hope they get arrested).

James just really cannot catch a break.

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Review #40, by AlexFanCareful What You Wish For: The Second Wish

2nd February 2014:
I knew it! I knew this was going to happen! The minute that Radley got mentioned I just knew that he was going to be really annoying. I felt so bad for Dani and I was just reading the story, can you imagine how she must've felt watching Radley act ridiculous.

I have to say though, her friends think pretty lowly of Dani to assume that she slipped Radley a love potion. I mean, as unlikely as I would've found the situation had I not known about the mirror I wouldn't have immediately assumed that my best friend had drugged the poor boy.

I feel so bad for Oliver though, the poor boy got up the courage to ask Dani out on a date and it ended up not being a date at all. Dani didn't even notice that Oliver had a crush on her. Although on his part, being mean about the whole Radley thing probably wasn't going to win him any brownie points.

Author's Response: Hahaha, you are really good at predicting things, nice work! I would be so embarrassed if I was Dani!

Your comment about the love potion made me laugh. But hey, at least they thing she's smart enough to brew up a good potion!

Poor Oliver:( Dani is so oblivious! Why choose Radley over Oliver??

Courtney:)



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Review #41, by AlexFanCareful What You Wish For: Sibling Rivalry

30th January 2014:
Oh no, this cannot possibly end well for Dani. We know that obsessive love or love caused by a love potion are not the same things as actually feeling something for someone.

I have a feeling that Dani is going to realize just how much of a bad idea her wish really is. She might end up getting annoyed with Radley in the end just because she can't stand him. I mean, personally, I think the boy is going to be hanging around Dani constantly like a puppy and being all sappy. Not that us girls don't like that but I think that the fawning would get pretty old and annoying pretty fast.

That mirror was right, Dani definitely needs to beware of what she wishes for. As we saw, her last wish didn't exactly end with the best results. I hate to think about how her second wish might end up going.

Author's Response: Hey!

You are quite right, it most certainly can not, haha!

Wishing for love is never a good idea and usually Dani would be smart enough to realize that, but her emotions have clearly clouded her intellect!

Thanks for the review!

Courtney:)


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Review #42, by AlexFanThe Invisible Thief : Christmas Cheers

30th January 2014:
How long is it going to take for Albus and Brielle to get together. I've been shipping the two of them for so long and it's killing me that they're not being couple cute together and instead are just being friends cute together.

I hope that Albus doesn't assume that he and Brielle were dating, I mean he never actually asked her so he shodnt have jumped to the conclusion that the two of them were dating. I have a feeling lots of drama is going to ensue once Bri brings this to Albus' attention that's for sure.

Author's Response: They're is going to be a lot of drama coming up with Albus and Brielle and I don't want to spoil anything!

I'm so glad you've been shipping them because I will always ship them to the end, no matter what crazy things they do.

Albus is a man of his own so we'll have to see what he does! Hopefully he doesn't screw anything up too much. You're spot on about allt he up and coming drama though!


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Review #43, by AlexFanConfronting Temptation: Thinking With Avoidances

29th January 2014:
What exactly happened between Rose and Scorpius? They seem really aggressive towards one another and the last time I checked they left off on relatively good terms. I mean, I know that Rose wouldn't be thrilled to have Scorpius as a partner because of the memories but her reaction was a lot more violent than I had anticipated. Maybe there is more to it than I thought.

I always thought that Stacy and Rose would keep in touch after they left Hogwrts but now that I think about it, Rose hasn't mentioned Stacy at all in the last two chapters. It's so sad when you lose touch with friends. Stacy sounds link she's really happy though by the sounds of it. I shipped her and Bryan so hard in Fighting Temptation but I thought that they would never happen because of Vivian. It's good to hear that she (Vivian) and Bryan are still on good terms though even though they did break up.

Just some minor CC but you've got quite a few typos throughout the chapter that I would suggest fixing. But other than that I'm enjoying the story so far!

Author's Response: Nothing happened. Keep in mind that Rose expresses her emotions through anger and at the moment all she wants him to do is leave. I think her reaction was more out of frustration because Scorpius brings up a lot of old things for her, things that she had made a point to lock away and keep silent about.
As for Stacy and Rose, I personally feel like Rose isn't the type of person who is very good at keeping contact with people. She is one of those people who thinks I should write so in so, but then never really gets around to it. Yeah Rose hasn't had contact with Stacy in a while, I doubt that she would mention her very much in casual conversation. I do think that Stacy is happy. The Bryan and Stacy relationship is the only thing I have ever let readers change my mind about, originally I had always planned for him to end up with Vivian, but the more I started to think about Reviews that talked about Bryan/Stacy the more I thought about it and lets just say I saw the light, and now they are my favorite couple to write when I do get to write them. I have even planned out an entire spin off for them that takes place from the events of how they got together to current events in Confronting Temptation, but I haven't decided if I'm going to write it yet.
Yeah I am editing things as I go, I will look at the typos and go fix them, thank you for letting me know. Also thanks for the review and for reading.


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Review #44, by AlexFanHarry Potter and the Plot of Power: 00 Prologue

28th January 2014:
Hot damn, this was some beginning. There is absolutely no criticism that I can offer, as far as I can see, this was perfect. That being said, I'm just going to gush now so I hope you don't mind.

I usually don't read anything involving major canon characters simply because I was under the impression that there was nothing more for me to read about them. Boy was I wrong, thank you for proving me wrong. You hooked the reader right from the beginning. Personally, I love Science and when you mentioned experiments happening, it caught my interest and I wanted to keep reading (which I did) about what kind of experiment was taking place and why these test subjects were having such extreme reactions to whatever they were being injected with. I'll admit, the idea of being able to take magic itself and put it into muggles is brilliant and I'm fairly certain that it's never been written before . . . EVER.

I definitely look forward to seeing more of this story and how it plays out because it sounds so interesting.

I wonder who this mysterious man is though, I feel like I should know him but for the life of me I can't put my finger on who he is. Anyway, I want to find out who this man is and how exactly he plants on taking Harry's magic, this sounds like something that would be immensely complicated to do.

I also loved your character Cassandra. The way that she sounded and thought about things was something that I expect a scientist would think. Her frustration with the fact that she doesn't have an extra lab coat to replace the one that she got dirty, her need to always be clean, and her curiosity with how this mysterious man's wand worked just made it seem like she was born to be a scientist.

The last line though, that's what really hooks the reader, that's the part that leaves you wanting more of the story. It definitely left me wanting more of the story, that's for sure. I'll definitely be adding this to my favourites and coming back for chapter 2. Feel free to re-request for chapter 2.

Brilliant start!
~Grace

Author's Response: Heya Grace!!

First of all, thank you kindly for that compliment! :D I'm glad that you enjoyed the beginning of this new madness of mine!

What's ironic about this fic is that I don't like Science that much. I was terrible at it. So this may have a lot of "scientific" errors along the way but I may ask around the forums for help once things get a bit difficult. However, I'm glad that you enjoyed the science bit. It makes me feel less intimidated by it! Haha

Ah, The Director. He's going to be fun. He's definitely a tragedy. Hahaha. As for who he is...I guess you'll just have to continue reading and to find out who he is and why exactly he's after Harry.

Cassandra is definitely an interesting person. I'm still on the fence on how I wish to play her. I have two perfectly well scenarios for her that may or may not impact the story line. I can't wait to show you guys how far this lady is willing to go though!

To be honest, I really thought that the end was a bit weak. But oh well. If it grasped readers to want to read more then it was a great end.

Anyway, I'm glad that you really enjoyed this prologue! There's more interesting stuff to come to stay tuned!! :D

--Rosie


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Review #45, by AlexFanThe Worst: At The Burrow

28th January 2014:
Hello there, I'm here with your requested review.

So the things that I liked were the fact that you brought out Dominique's insecurity. Sure, Delilah got arrested and everything but she's still going to have to deal with the fact that she's a werewolf. As far as the wizarding world has come, I have a feeling that they're still not that comfortable with hiring a werewolf to work for them. I love how Dom was going to cover up the mark on her neck and she was so self-conscious of what it but Teddy stopped her. Four points for you Teddy, you go Teddy.

The relationship that the two of them have is really great because they both care about and respect each other and you can see it in the way that they treat each other and comfort one another. Teddy and Dom have the kind of relationship that you're supposed to have and is healthy.

I loved how Dom's entire family was there to support her and make sure that she was okay. Especially the fussing that was being made by her mum and Nana Molly but that's how mothers and grandmothers usually are. They fuss over you constantly just to make sure that you're okay. My favourite was Hermione because she seemed so proud of the fact that she had already brewed the Wolfsbane Potion. I love how unconcerned and excited she was about the fact that she was breaking the law. That's family for you.

I'm so excited for the next chapter because I really want to know what happens between Teddy and Dom! I was so sure that she was going to say yes to him but then she said no and now I don't know what to do! I hope I get to learn why Dom is turning down Teddy (and maybe she might change her mind?)

I only have some minor CC. I noticed while reading throughout the chapter that you slipped up on verb tense in certain areas. I would suggest maybe reading through the chapter again to make sure that everything is written in past tense.

But other than that, awesome chapter!
~Grace

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you again for reading and reviewing. Your reviews always make me happy =)

I am pleased you liked the little bit about Dominique's insecurity as I felt it would be unrealistic for her to go back to normal after everything that happened. Teddy is just amazing yeah =)

I am glad you like the relationship between Teddy/Dom as well. I love them so much and I am happy to get a positive response from the readers about them.

I had a bit of trouble writing the family scene, especially incorporating almost everyone was a bit hard, but I am glad you liked it, and found Molly as well as Hermione well-written. Exactly, family is supposed to always support you.

You'll definitely get to know why Dom said no, and as for changing her mind, you'll have to wait and see =)

I still need to do a proof-read of this chapter since I posted it in a hurry when I saw the queue was very short, so thanks for letting me know about the verb tenses, I'll keep an eye out for them when I edit =)

Thank you!


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Review #46, by AlexFanGinny's Sixth Year: Detention in the Dungeons

28th January 2014:
I'm here with your fourth review! I'm doing this last one as I go so I'm scrolling up and down through the chapter.

The first thing that I noticed was that you said Ginny grabbed the books that she would need for the day and then headed down to the common room. But how can she know which classes she has on the first day if she doesn't have her schedule, which she got during breakfast? It's just something that I noticed.

It was so sweet of the older students to wait up for Ginny, I got the impression from the books that Ginny didn't really hang out with Harry's friends in the older grades but it's so nice everyone taking care of her anyway and making sure that she's safe. It's still so weird to think of a Colin as a Sixth Year, for some reason in my head I still remember him as that little kid that kept following Harry around when he was in his second year.

I think what Ginny is taking as Dean treating her like a child was just him being a gentleman. I hadn't expected her to get so angry with him for just opening the door for her. The boy was giving up his spare time just to make sure that Ginny got to class safely.

That punishment sounded brutal though, I felt so bad for Ginny. I honestly can't believe that they allowed whippings back as a form of punishments for students that were given detention. And by the sounds of it the Carrows didn't hold anything back when punishing Ginny.

No one will hear you scream, but you can try if you like. She let go and backed away, her haunting laugh echoing around the unforgiving dungeon. Tie her up, Amycus. This is going to be fun.

That part right there gave me the shivers. There were so many insinuations with the way that you left it off right there. It let your reader imagine a whole list of punishments that the Carrows could've had ready for Ginny. It's amazing how well the power of imagination works in the favor of authors in a story. You didn't even have to tell your reader's exactly what Ginny had to go through, you let us picture it in our heads.

Great job on the chapter!

Author's Response: Good point with the books! I'll have to go back and change that. I'm so glad that I asked you to read this one. Lol. It's been a bit since I worked on it, and I have big plans. +]

I figured that there had to be some bonds between them, I mean, not everyone was nice to Harry when he first started telling them all the truth, and now he's on the run. I'm sure he was happiest with Ginny, and it would've been obvious. Like you, I like the idea that they're looking out for her now that he can't.

Yeah, I feel bad for Dean. The way I figured, she was upset at everyone, and would most likely be more prone to take her frustrations out on him than anyone else.

The punishment. I figure, they know that Ginny knows whats up. They don't have to hold back on her to save face, and the twins most likely looked forward to trying to make sure she never wanted to cause a disturbance ever again.

I'm glad that you liked this chapter! Thank you so much for everything you've pointed out. Now I can go back and edit what I've got with some idea of what I'm doing. +] Haha!


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Review #47, by AlexFanGinny's Sixth Year: Reckless Endangerment

27th January 2014:
Woah, this chapter was just . . . WOAH! This chapter was intense! I definitely didn't expect all of this to be happening as soon as Ginny arrived at Hogwarts. I thought it would've been at least one day before all of the trouble started and everything.

I don't know how I feel about Snape, for some reason, everything he said just doesn't feel like him. I know that he has to say it and everything but it just didn't sound like something Snape from the books would say. I don't know how to describe it. Not to say that the scene wasn't brilliant, because it was, I had my mouth open in shock. I couldn't believe that they had actually resorted to using the Imperius Curse on Ginny, I shouldn't be surprised because they're death eaters after all but it surprised me nonetheless.

I kept rooting for Ginny to fight off the Imperius Curse though, I wanted her to fight it off so badly but then she kind of knocked herself out and I was like "Okay, that's cool too you know).

I loved the scene at the end with McGonagall, she's a strict woman and she's not known for showing a lot emotion often but I love how you brought out the side of her that she usually keeps hidden, the side of her that really cares and wants to protect her students from the evil. That last line though where she told Ginny she could be a miscreant she just couldn't get caught, I loved it because it reminded me of McGonagall in the fifth book.

My advice to Ginny would personally be to do it but make sure that she didn't get caught.

Author's Response: I totally get what you mean with Snape! That headmaster's speech was ridiculously difficult to get through. My reasoning was, yes, he's trying to play a part, but he's just as uncomfortable being headmaster as the students are with having him as headmaster, though you're right. It is off, I just can't figure out how to fix it. Lol.

I thought that was the most logical way for Snape to handle the situation. Here he is, giving a speech to students about how he's there to help them, and won't harm them, and isn't the enemy when Ginny stands up and contradicts him. If he goes all public with "how dare you..." or any kind of immediate punishment, he's proving her right, and making himself look bad. But if she walks out, to outsiders it's just that one Weasley girl with the bad temper upset because her boyfriend is gone lashing out at the new headmaster and then walking out. That's what I was going for anyways. And then, I figured if a full grown wizard like Barty Crouch Sr. took a lot of time to throw off the imperius curse, it would take Ginny awhile too. Then I remembered the first time Harry fought against it, and how he wasn't really able to just pull himself out of it. He struggled against it and then the pain of running into the table brought him out of it. I figured at least making her legs stop was something the headstrong and slightly aware Ginny could accomplish. +]

I'm glad that you liked McGonagall! I tried so hard to make her in canon, and I'm glad that you think I did well.

I'm glad that you've liked it so far. Can't wait to hear your take on the last chapter. +] Thank you so much for this. I've been waiting for someone to tell me how to improve this. +]


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Review #48, by AlexFanGinny's Sixth Year: For the Love of Mudbloods

27th January 2014:
Hello, here for your second review.

I'll just start off with some CC that I noticed early in the chapter. The format of the story seems really cramped together and it makes it look a lot more daunting than it really is. Personally, I would suggest fixing the format to make it easier for future readers but you can definitely choose to ignore that. Another thing that I noticed was that you mentioned Ron was at home with dragon pox when really, he was "at home" with spattergroit which is completely different than dragon pox. And I also noticed that you wrote Ginny's name as "Ginerva" instead of "Ginevra," it's not a big thing but it's just something that you might want to fix if you're trying to keep the story as canon as possible.

I also wouldn't have expected Bellatrix to give up on torturing Ginny so quickly, even if Ginny doesn't know where Harry, Ron and Hermione are. I suppose though, Bellatrix realised that the trio wouldn't have told anyone where they were going specifically because of this reason.

But wow, they really get right down to punishing and torturing people these days at Hogwarts huh. I felt so bad for that little girl though, she sounded so tiny and I just felt really bad that someone had told her that she wasn't worth much just because of her blood status. I just hate to think that there were little children attending Hogwarts who might've actually been told that they weren't right or that they're less than someone else just because of their blood status. Can you imagine what that would do to a child? It was really great of Neville and Ginny and Colin to welcome her like that though, I wouldn't have expected any less of them.

But anyway, great chapter and I'm off to the next one!

Author's Response: Yay!! CC!! I've been waiting for some feedback like this, oh my gosh, thank you! I'll go back and reformat it so it's a little better paced. And I'm glad you pointed that out, both the spattergroit and the Ginevra, I prefer to be as close to canon as humanly possible, and I wrote this before I found out about Harry Potter wiki. Lol

I figured with Bellatrix, it was more of Ginny's insolence than looking for information. If since she fed her a story, if it was a lie, it could be followed up on with another torture session, and if it held up, why waste her time with a blood traitor? At least, that was my reasoning.

Yes. I wanted it to be immediately known that Hogwarts was going to be different. I figured that with the regime having taken over the ministry, their next step would be to brainwash the kids, kinda like this book I read when I was younger. (Really wish I could remember the name.) They already controlled the government body responsible for the well fare of children, and the adults were too busy being oppressed to storm Hogwarts and take back their kids. The most effective brainwashing would be on the first years. Get them to turn against each other, and take the fight out of those who would be abused when they're eleven and avoid a whole new generation of rebels later.

Yay! 2/4 good to go! Awesome.


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Review #49, by AlexFanGinny's Sixth Year: The Gloomy Train

27th January 2014:
This is the first of four reviews! Sorry for taking so long to get to your prize but I'm finally here now!

I liked the beginning of the story, it definitely pulled me in. I've never read a story that told what Ginny's sixth year must've been like so this is new for me but I love where it's going. I like how you pointed out the differences between the previous years that Ginny had attended Hogwarts and her sixth year. The quiet talking on the platform, the fact that everyone seemed to be avoiding Ginny as much as possible, it really made it clear that things were different than they used to be.

I loved your characterization of Molly as well. You made her sound really tired and worried but you still managed to keep that motherly feel about her. The part that I loved most about Molly was how she started on her usual tangent about eating the sandwiches and doing well in school like normal before she realised that things weren't normal and as they always had been.

My favourite character is definitely Ginny so far. I love how you showed that she was still hung up over Harry even though she doesn't really let anyone see it. That's the kind of thing that Ginny would do, she would probably hide any of her feelings that she didn't want people to see so that they didn't think of her as weak. I love the amount of fire that's in her as well and especially the part where she socked Pansy in the face. The entire time that Pansy kept running her mouth I was just like "don't you be talking smack about my Harry Potter!"

My favourite line was definitely Luna's at the very very end. She just sounded so calm and not at all flustered. You would've thought that Luna would've been a little bit surprised by what happened but she didn't even blink an eye. Then again, this is Luna Lovegood, she's probably seen a lot stranger things happen.

Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad that the beginning is interesting, and not a bore. As far as Molly, she has always come very naturally to me. I'm glad that you liked her. I loved Ginny in the books. I was outraged when her actress in the movies couldn't deliver the spit fire performance I was waiting for, and figured I could do her some justice in this. Lol

I was a little scared to write Luna, but I think she turned out alright, if little chatty. +]

I'm glad you liked the beginning!


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Review #50, by AlexFanThe Invisible Thief : Blonde is Bad

24th January 2014:
I love Brielle, seriously, I just love Brielle. Her internal dialogues are just so hilarious, sometimes I'm just like "woah is she the voice inside of my head?" She's so funny, I was practically choking on my own laughter because I was trying to be quiet.

Holy though, everyone is so vicious and violent. Shoes are being used as weapons and quite threatening by the looks of it.

The image of Bill in my head wearing his head band was just brilliant. I could see it so clearly in my head and it was painful as heck. I kept thinking to myself "No Bill, no, why are you wearing such bad clothing that is a bad idea. Change clothes right now."

I really want to know what Victoire did to Dom in first year. It sounds really horrible, if has to be to make you hate your sibling so much.

Author's Response: I love Brielle too! Ah, I'm so glad I got you to laugh and you can relate to her! Brielle is just a different form of me and I love her humor too.

Violence seems to be a usual with this bunch.

I adore Bill! HaHA! I really love your little comment at the end x) I totally agree - Bill needs to take some fashion advice from his daughters.

It will exposed very soon!


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