Reading Reviews From Member: AlexFan
  
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Review #26, by AlexFanYear Five: The Question

27th November 2014:
Sorry for taking so long with your review but Iím here! And I must say, everyone has gotten a lot more aggressive since the last chapter, especially Emily, I didnít think that this girl had it in her to be so mean to Isobel of all people. And itís not like Isobel has done anything wrong either, sheís trying to help her friend and look out for everyone and this is how she gets paid in return. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own problems that they donít even notice that Isobel is slowly wasting away.

Iím not entirely sure how Tristan shows affection but I seriously doubt that he really likes Emily in the same way that she likes him. Iím sorry, but I just donít buy it. ďHmm, I really like this girl but I donít want to hurt her feelings so instead Iím going to get into bed with her best friend and not tell her about it because thatís really such a great idea,Ē like really Tristan, come on now. I get heís not one for affection but he had to try a little harder than just that.

I was about to say, wow, for someone thatís evil, Quirrel sure seems to get along with his students, and then he assaulted Isobel and my opinion went back to being normal lickity split after that. I canít believe that he would do such a thing! Itís absolutely disgusting that he would assault one of his students like this and it is absolutely horrifying to think that this couldíve happened to other girls other than Isobel. Itís horrifying to think of just how many girls this has really happened to, and they probably never spoke up about it either because no one would believe them. Can you imagine how many girls were probably terrified of going to class because they would be confronted with assaulter.

Oo, if I was there, Quirrel would need a place to hide!

And Iím not entirely sure that a place as shady as the Hogs Head is really the best place to take Isobel after what happened to her. The pub doesnít exactly scream safe if you get what I mean.

ISOBEL DONíT YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED. SHE IS IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT QUIRREL DID, HE IS THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HE DID! I didnít expect anything less from Hagrid, I just knew that he would defend Isobel and remind her that she is not at fault for the incident that took place. I love that he urged her to talk to someone and report it because it was important and something needed to be done. Hagrid is the best.

This was so great!

Author's Response: Hahahaha, I love your reviews. Like "everything is terrible, they are the worst, this is great!" You always pick up on all of the bad decisions and behaviors that go into this story, and I'm so glad you still like it!

Yeah, Emily had pretty much been the only consistently Good character, which is why I needed to make her have a little spat of immaturity. Everyone's going through a lot of changes and difficulties, and Emily definitely fell into the 'kill the messenger' behavior. Also, she's totally misdirecting her anger and frustration :(

Tristan't capacity for self-loathing and self-destruction is one of his most problematic qualities, because it ends up hurting people outside of himself :( I definitely agree that he doesn't like Emily the /same/ way, but I wouldn't say he likes her less than she likes him. But that gets examined later, so I'll zip it for now :]

I'm really glad you felt so outraged by Quirrel, that's definitely the right reaction. That bit is something inspired by RL. I get really mad when teacher/student stuff gets romanticized, because it's so inherently unethical and exploitative and abusive.

Yes, the Hog's Head definitely wasn't the best choice! (Not least, because Quirrel was THERE). BUT, I really wanted her to talk to Hagrid--I'm so happy you think I did him justice!

Thank you so much for your review!
xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #27, by AlexFanThe Worst: It Is Time

27th November 2014:
Itís been a while since I read this story so itís great to see another chapter! Also, Iím so sorry for taking so long with your review!

If I remember correctly, I was quite upset that Dom had refused Teddyís proposal last chapter, but after reading this one, I can understand where Dom is coming from. Sheís still dealing with the fact that sheís a werewolf and sheís still adjusting to that part of herself, I imagine no one would want to go into something as big as marriage without being sure of who they were and how to deal with being a werewolf.

Wow, miscommunication seems to be a problem in Teddy and Domís relationship at the moment. I can understand what she means when she says that she expected Teddy of all people to understand and figure out why she didnít want to get married so soon, at the same time, Dom never really explained herself either so what she mightíve assumed obvious, was clearly not the case for Teddy.

I liked this chapter and how it focused on Domís anxiety, because of course she would be anxious, and her situation with Teddy would most certainly add to that nervousness. I like how you kept building up to the transformation little by little throughout the story, I was so sure that the entire thing would be in this chapter but only the beginning seemed to have made it in.

Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter and how the entire transformation goes for Dom and what itís going to feel like for her.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for your review. I'm really sorry for the late response.

I am glad you understood Dom's reasoning for turning down the proposal. Miscommunication is definitely the problem here as is for most couples.

I tried to show as much of Dom's turmoil as I could so I am pleased it got through to you. Indeed, it's only the beginning of the transformation here. The full transformation is in the next chapter.

Thanks!


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Review #28, by AlexFan"Thou Shalt Not Steal": Twenty-four vs. Twenty-five

23rd November 2014:
James is a delight. That pun was truly hilarious and I can just imagine how much it must've enraged Alethia. Speaking of her, you have no idea how angry I got at the whole "every woman needs a man," and then I had to remind myself that this was just a story and I was getting mad at fictional characters. I admire how calm Alethia was with her answer though, had I been in her place I can guarantee you that I would've gone into a rant about how I didn't need a man. But at least she had her siblings there to back her up, that's what siblings are there for, to back you up!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! And yeah, it's very frustrating to keep calm in a situation like that√ʬĬď I probably would have lost it, too. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #29, by AlexFanA Few Shades of Nothing: Idiosyncrasy

22nd November 2014:
I knew she was going to be put into Slytherin! The fact that the MC was making the Sorting Hat's life as difficult as possible just screamed Slytherin to me, I just knew she would be put there (as a side note, maybe you mentioned her name but I seem to have forgotten it unfortunately).

The only thing that I have to say in terms of criticism is that this moved by really fast, I got confused at times because I wasn't sure if the main character was a Squib or not because you never really explained why she never got accepted to Hogwarts. And that kind of also led to me wondering why she was getting kidnapped. I get that she was supposed to go to Hogwarts but I think the Ministry of Magic would be facing some serious consequences for forcibly removing a child from their homes with no explanation whatsoever.

But I like this, it definitely seems interesting.

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Review #30, by AlexFan(un)censored: Black and Yellow

19th November 2014:
Talk about a quick way to become friends with someone huh? For someone that apparently doesn't really have any friends, Albus sure has a way of chatting people up and being real chummy with them even if they are acquaintances. I like how you set up the chapter by introducing Lara as this sort of motherhen figure, which I don't think I've ever really seen before in fics and I'm actually really interested in seeing how this part of her plays out throughout the story, and how it affects the dynamic of her friends.

I don't know why but I just really like the fact that she takes care of her friends, she's goes around making sure that they're all okay and keeps them from doing anything stupid and she doesn't seem all too bothered by it (which I wonder if this is going to change throughout the story).

Anyway, I liked this as a first chapter but then again I can never resist a fake dating story.

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Review #31, by AlexFanOver My Head: Of Jerk-Face James Potter and Full-Scale War

19th November 2014:
This chapter was so much better than the previous two! I liked how it stretched out more and the fact that I was able to get inside Pippa's head throughout this and really feel what kinds of things were going through her mind. I like how she handled the situation with James when he came over to harass her. It was very different from her reaction to his family on the train and it just showed that she could be civilized and mature if she really wanted to.

The one thing I'm a little skeptical about is Alyssa's Firebolt. I mean, her mum works a crummy job at a pub, and on top of that she's got an alcohol addiction so a lot of the money that she makes probably goes towards her addiction, and as old as the Firebolt may be at that point in time, it's still a pretty expensive broom. I mean, Ron's family could barely even afford to get him his own broom and it was, what, a Cleansweeper? If Ron's family, who had a father that worked in the Ministry, could barely afford to buy him a broom, then how does Alyssa manage to get herself a much better, more expensive broom with just the pub as her sole source of income?

But other than that, I really enjoyed this chapter and I have a feeling that this war is going to get very interesting from the sounds of it (and I mean how can it not considering Peeves is going to get involved).

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Review #32, by AlexFanOver My Head: Of Pranks and Hypothetical Death via Little Lily

18th November 2014:
I relate to Alyssa's morning ritual so much. Except my mom is my alarm clock and I stay in my bed for an extra ten minutes before dragging myself out into the cold and getting washed.

I feel like I need a little bit more on why Veronica Smith is evil in order to truly jump on board of the hate train. As far as I can see, the only thing that she's done that could be considered mean is get Alyssa's name wrong (which I can relate to because I'm horrible with names). The biggest problem that Alyssa seems to have with Veronica is that she leads a very privileged life while Alyssa does not, and it's enough for extreme jealousy at how easy Veronica's life is and some annoyance and sure a little hatred but nothing really extreme. I guess Alyssa's feelings aren't totally unfounded.

I may have missed this but I'm not sure that you mentioned Alyssa looking for her clothes before declaring that they had disappeared. I know I felt a little surprised at the sudden jump so maybe I missed that part.

Wow, things certainly escalate quickly at Hogwarts nowadays. The Potters just went from 0-100 real quick right there. If these pranks keep up, and get progressively more and more complex, the professors are going to have a real problem on their hands by the end of the year.

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Review #33, by AlexFanOver My Head: Of Supposed Best Friends and Extreme Ginger Syndrome

18th November 2014:
Sorry it took me so long to get to your reviews for the challenge but I'm finally here!

Okay, so I thought that I would just tell you what I thought through this and hopefully I can be at least a little helpful. So this isn't bad at all, it's not perfect but it's good. Something that I've noticed that happens a lot is people introduce the character and then give the reader all of the baggage that comes with it. Sometimes a writer gives their reader so much information that they forget half of it, that's not the case here but it's an example.

I like how you introduced the main character, you gave her name, developed the type of relationship that she has with her family and gave your reader an appearance that they could work with, which is great. But there's a lot of telling instead of showing. It wasn't really necessary to have all of that information about her mom and dad and how they fit together, it didn't really add much in the way of plot. You could've maybe started with Alyssa working on her last day of summer break at the pub so that the reader gets a sense of how crazy the pub is and you've set up that part of Alyssa's home life right there, and as a bonus, it also adds length to the chapter. Alyssa's mom is a drunk, but instead of just telling your reader that right from the get go, you could have it come in later on (as having a parent who is an alcoholic is most likely a difficult thing, it could be something that Alyssa is ashamed of and tries to avoid thinking about). You could have a scene later on in the story showing an interaction between Alyssa and her mother, she could come home from the holidays or something and find her mom asleep on a dirty couch and you could even bring in the kind of living arrangements that she has that point, showing the kind of state that Alyssa lives in as well as shows that her mother has an addiction.

I also thought that the scene where all of the next generation of the Weasley's and Potter's come crashing into the compartment a bit melodramatic. Alyssa was being really aggressive with these people and you never really provide any information for why she's aggressive towards them. Right off the bat she's insulting the Weasley's because of their ginger hair but there's no real build up to why Alyssa is being so hostile, it just kind of happens (as an idea, you could hint that the reason she's so hostile is because they tease her about her family which they might've accidentally found out about somehow because it seems reasonable).

And lastly, the pace felt a little too fast, I felt like there could've been more description throughout the chapter to really set up the scene and the tone of what was going on. Maybe talk about what the platform looked like or the kind of chaos that was going on, even snippets of conversation that Alyssa heard to really pull the reader into the story. I hope I wasn't too harsh with this review and at least a little bit helpful in some way! This really is a good start to a story and a pretty interesting one.

P. S. While I agree that in a place where a lot of magic is going on the Ministry wouldn't be able to figure out which underage witch or wizard was doing magic, I think it would be a little different with apparating. Apparating is tracked by the Department of Magical Transportation (or something of the sort) and I think they would get some sort of notification if an unqualified minor just apparated to King's Cross Station (since she's not Side-Along). Also, apparating is extremely dangerous and I would think Alyssa would be a little more worried about seriously injuring herself (also where would she have learned apparating since her mother is clearly in no fit state to be a proper teacher?)

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Review #34, by AlexFanRainfall: A Haunted House

16th November 2014:
I'm so glad that Hugo finally got a chance to really play a harp. He sounds like a really talented kid, I can see him having a future as a musician, if he kept practicing of course he could be just as good as any pianist or harpist.

I honestly just can't get over Hugo and Lily being unaware of the significance of Godric's Hollow and I'm just sitting here thinking "oh if they only knew."

You would think that by the way that Ginny and Hermione are talking about Godric's Hollow that it's already been decided that Harry and Ginny are going to move into the house. Harry doesn't even want to set foot in the place I honestly can't see him budging on something like this no matter what Ginny does. This looks like it might cause some real problems for them.

Anyway, great chapter!

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Review #35, by AlexFanRainfall: Empires Old and New

15th November 2014:
I take really long to leave reviews if you haven't noticed. Anyway! I think this was definitely one of my favourite chapters to be honest with you, politics aren't always my thing but when they're talked about or discussed right they really catch my attention. As you've probably figured out you did it right. It was interesting seeing all of these different views and opinions coming into play throughout the chapter from various experts. Clearly to Hermione the winner of the IC is a much bigger issue for her because the Second Wizarding War affected her in a much more personal way than others.

And it's when you hear about stuff like this happening that it really hits you that people don't really learn anything from history except how to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

I've always read stories where the next generation are already aware of the large role that their parents played in the war so it was quite surprising having Hugo be completely clueless as to what his parents did in their youth.

Loved this chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! It doesn't bother me how long you take to leave reviews. :) My time period between receiving and responding varies considerably, as I'm pretty busy right now but I'm hoping to get up to date over Christmas.

Thank you so much! This chapter was a bit self-indulgent to be honest, inspired by the European elections taking place about when I wrote it (the rise of UKIP didn't prompt riots, though). I'm very glad I got you to like my bit of politics!

I thought briefly about "how much should they know?" and it did occur to me that in most next-gens the kids know all about the war, but I decided to be a bit different (as usual). I think the other kids might be a bit less clueless than Hugo, having seen newspaper headlines and books and stuff, but I decided Ron and Hermione have avoided talking about it - they're famous, for their role in the war, but they've never seen a need to talk about all the things they saw and went through because there's the question of "when is old enough?", they don't want to think about it, and it's in the past. It might also not have specifically occurred to them to sit down and tell their children about the war, because of course most people do know what happens and it doesn't really occur to them that their children don't and should.

Oops, response longer than the review again. I have this habit of talking...

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked this chapter. :) I definitely have a soft spot for wizarding politics.


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Review #36, by AlexFanMonster: Monster

10th November 2014:
This was not what I expected, you seem to have a gift for writing monsters, I must say. I can tell you that this got me pretty scared but then again, I consider myself quite weak when it comes to the horror genre.

I like how you started off the story with Rose believing that there werenít any monsters and then ended that last bit with ďYou are eight. Of course you believe your mummy.Ē because it just hints that something much worse is going to happen later on and that what her mother told her is going to be completely shattered. And as Rose grows older she becomes more and more aware of the forest and it frightens her even more and it becomes more difficult for her to believe what Hermione told her about there being no monsters.

I just kept chanting in my head that someone was going to die and then when Rose did get attacked I was kind of happy that I was right, but at the same time, I was terrified of what was going on because you just made it scary. The most disturbing part for me however was the moment in which Rose killed Hermione, her own mother. The complete lack of remorse there was just really disturbing and I think thatís the part that really made Rose a monster, not the fact that she needs blood to survive because she is what she is now and that canít be helped, but the fact that she didnít feel anything over the fact that she had just killed someone, her mother no less.

Awesome job on this!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

"A gift for writing monsters"? Wow that is a huge compliment! Thank you! I feel so happy xD I am very weak when it comes to the horror genre as well (I can't even watch horror movies) so I totally understand you!

I am glad you liked the way this started off as that was the whole set-up for the story. I am also happy that you managed to catch Rose's feelings and thoughts as she grows, I feel accomplished =)

It is great to hear that you had that sense of foreboding while reading this and that you did get terrified, as that was my aim. Her killing her mother was definitely the most disturbing and sinister element for me while writing so I'm pleased you felt that way while reading as well. Yes, Rose became a monster in the truest sense, having lost all humanity.

Thank you so much!


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Review #37, by AlexFanYear Five: The Disappearing Room

10th November 2014:
Weíre almost near the end! Only five more chapters to go after this! Oh how the tables have turned Tristan! Poor Emily, sheís liked Tristan this entire time and all heís done is just spit in her face and go at it with her friend. I know that theyíre technically not dating but when it goes on in a group as close as them, things get a bit more complicated. Iím happy to see that Emily is spending time with Hufflepuffs that wonít have a negative influence on her, her friends donít seem to inspire much positivity to be perfectly honest.

People in this story of yours seem to have a problem with learning from their mistakes. Laurel and Tristan hooking up was what broke up all of their friendships, like literally, this was like the last straw. Both of them know this, they know that what they did drove away their friend and made everything dysfunctional and itís the reason as to why they canít hang out properly anymore why are they doing it again! Are Laurel and Tristan expecting different results by doing this over and over, because you know thatís the definition of insanity.

On another note, as annoyed as I was with Laurel, I have a great deal of respect for her now, it mustíve taken her a lot to hand over her wand to Isobel and tell her to keep it away from herself. I think you got Dumbledoreís character perfect and I just knew that he would help out Laurel the minute that he showed up, Dumbledore just has that effect on people. He may not have been a very good man but Dumbledore did have his good qualities, I have a feeling though that if he were to talk to Tristan, it would take a lot more work to encourage him to make a change in his life, he might just see it as futile to make an attempt to make his life better than it is.

Yes! Finally, some more backstory about Tristan! Iíve been wondering what went on with him as a child and those blacked out files made me even more curious, I can understand why they were blacked out now (and if Iím reading this right, Tristan is related to the Malfoyís). Of course Narcissa seemed affectionate towards Tristan, he was a pureblood, if he had been anything but I highly doubt Narcissa wouldíve been as warm and welcoming of him into her family. All in all, Tristanís life doesnít seem to be going anywhere good anytime soon.

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes, the end is definitely near, and this chapter definitely sets a lot of things off.

And yeah, Emily is a lot more adaptive than a lot of her friends, I think. She can fit in a lot of different places more easily.

In a way, I think they *do* learn from their mistakes, but are just self-destructive. Tristan and Laurel know that it's a bad idea, but that's the reason they want to indulge it.

Man, imagine how awful it would have been had Tristan been raised by the Malfoys! All that trauma and neglect he experienced in his early childhood coupled with racist indoctrination!

Thank you so much for this review!

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #38, by AlexFanYear Five: Interrupted

31st October 2014:
Either something is so wrong that even Emily is picking up on her friends acting weird, no matter how hard they try to hide it, or her friends are being really obvious and sheís just a little bit slow to catch onto the problems that all of them are having. It feels like Isobelís friends know that sheís suffering from anorexia and yet none of them seem to be doing anything. I get the whole stay in your lane thing but I mean come on, your friend is clearly struggling here, they need to do something to help her out before any more damage is caused.

You know, for someone that is so hostile and disliked, people arrive at the most ridiculous conclusions whenever Severus Snape is involved. Like really, a love letter?

Why Laurel? Just, why? She knows sheís in the wrong, she had no right to go snooping through Snapeís stuff like that, why does she just make the situation worse for herself? Does she really think that threatening a teacher is going to make her case any better, and it was stupid to do as well because sheís right, everyone does know about Snapeís past, and of course heís got a tattoo. Albus Dumbledore is not an idiot, Laurel wouldnít be telling him anything that he doesnít already know about Snape. Honestly, thereís more evidence against her than there is against Snape. I just, I just wish sheíd keep her mouth shut. It sucks to be wrong but if you canít admit it then just keep your mouth shut before you do something stupid.

For people who are supposed to be friends, no one seems to be treating each other properly, I really think that everyone needs some time to themselves to figure things out and to prioritize. I feel like being friends is too much for everyone, if you canít take care of yourself, you canít look after your friends and everyone is just a mess right now. Those Hufflepuffís that Emily spent time with seem like good people, see, why doesnít she hang around them sometimes and pick up some good habits?

And I like how supportive Tonks was, I can see her giving advice to younger friends and helping them out, besides, she gave very good advice at that. Itís nice that Emily has at least one person that she looks up to and can talk to.

Author's Response: I sort of think that Emily is *usually* pretty in tune with her friends, unless she's at the center of something, then she kind of misses it. But that's the other weird thing about this story, you meet everyone knowing they've been one way, but mostly spend the length of the narrative watching them change/retreat into themselves. Like, it takes til about the end to get a sense of what Laurel was like *before*, because all of them are having *phases.*

Aha - yes, definitely a silly conclusion there :) And yeah, Laurel definitely doesn't have as much information as we do, and DEFINITELY didn't think through all of her behavior. I don't think she handles panic very well at all at this stage.

That is a very astute analysis! And I think Emily is leaning quite the same direction you are :) And yes! SOMEONE needed to offer some sage words in this chapter, and it was a great excuse to bring Tonks back!

Thank you so much for the review!! This is definitely the beginning of the most excruciating story arc yet :/ (always darkest before the dawn!)



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Review #39, by AlexFanL'optimisme: Bulgaria

31st October 2014:
So sorry for taking so long but Iíve had a lot of homework in the past week and I havenít had any free time!

I can definitely see what you mean about this chapter being more character heavy than the previous three. But I speak for myself when I say that I really enjoyed it, I didnít find it at all boring. I feel like when youíre telling a story that is based almost entirely on a personís memories, lots of imagery is whatís going to be needed. It just feels like it makes it really obvious that the story is being told through the memories of a character. When you look back on things that happened, you tend to pay more attention to the details and everything around you.

Whenever I read this story I feel like Iím in a memory, it feels like everything that Iím reading is something that happened to me personally, even though I know itís not, and it makes me weirdly nostalgic for events that never happened. My favourite bit had to be in the end where Grindelwald was comparing him to a sunrise and how it signified his leadership into this new world that it had in mind, my favourite line had to be the very last one where he describes Albus and compares him to sunset. I donít know why but it just really stuck with me out of all of the other lines in the chapter.

I like how you went into detail about Grindelwald stealing the wand, there was some information given in the series about what happened on the day that Grindelwald stole the Elder Wand but it feels completely different seeing the same incident from the actual characterís point of view.

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for dropping by! :) And no worries about taking your time - stuff comes up for everyone ;)

Gah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it - I was so nervous about this chapter, with the sort of semi-character study in it, and lots of exposition and internal monologue and things. I think it's definitely true that looking back on things, you see things you didn't see before, and your brain also fills things in for you ;)

Haha, sorry about that :P Hopefully it'll stop before we get to the heavier stuff and the war and so on, otherwise that could get awkward! ;) I really loved writing that ending line! It was actually one of the things I wrote first for this chapter, and then it went at the end.

Yeah, it was one of the few canon moments we have about what they did in the intervening time, after they separated, and before the war, and so I really wanted to include it, because there's not many of those moments. I'm so glad you liked it, though! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was such a great thing to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #40, by AlexFanYear Five: Torture

31st October 2014:
Wow, sorry for taking so long but I was on a school trip and then I came back and had to catch up on four days worth of homework and lessons and itís just been crazy.

Oh no, poor Isobel. Sometimes I wonder why I like reading because I get attached to characters and then they start hurting and it just rips my heart out because my babies are not happy and I just gah! Reading your story is just a constant reminder of the fact that not all kids grow up in a family where their parents are supportive and encourage their kid to do their best. Not every child grows up in a family where theyíre told that they are enough and that they donít have to change and you can see it in Isobel and Tristan. You can really see how even the smallest things can affect someone and what it can lead to.

I am going to smack Isobelís parents, swear to God, I hope they eventually come to realise how harmful their words have been.

I think labeling Tristan as a womanizer seems to be a bit of a stretch to be honest. I can see where all of this frustration is coming from, and for the most part, Isobel is right about Tristan, he is definitely a bit a of music snob, but a womanizer is a stretch. I get that sheís upset that heís messing about with her two friends but come on now, be reasonable here. I can see everyone slowly drifting apart as they spend more and more times together. It doesnít even seem like they all share anything in common anymore, theyíre just around each other because itís all that theyíve ever known and they have no one else to hang out with.

Tristanís reaction the mention of the Cruciatus Curse was interesting. Maybe you mentioned this in the past and I just missed it or forgot about it, but if you havenít mentioned it then Iím curious to see as what went on to cause Tristan to have such a violent reaction to the spell. But hey, at least he and Isobel talked some stuff out and theyíre kind of okay now, she doesnít seem to want to kill him nearly as much as she did before.

Author's Response: No problem! I'm just super stoked you've gone back to your thread!

I definitely agree! My college has a lot of students who *mostly* had easy lives, and appear very privileged and all that. BUT, a lot of their parents just really weren't nice enough or supportive enough. And while they were never outright cruel, withholding praise and affection can really hurt a kid :(

I also definitely agree that Isobel calling him a 'womanizer' is a stretch. But she's also not in the best place right now, mentally (I mean, going without food to that degree for so long really messes with someone's cognition and emotions).

Your analysis about how they've drifted is super spot on. They're all just really self absorbed at this point.

Muahahaha - yes, I have mentioned something about that, and you did notice it at the time... VERY glad that that this pacing is working :D

And yeah, I think it was a lot easier to hate him when she didn't have to feel sympathy for him. She definitely has lasting affection for the boy.

Thank you sososo much for this review!!!

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #41, by AlexFanRainfall: Live in Concert

30th October 2014:
It was so nice to see Hugo in an environment where he was enjoying himself. I loved listening to how he got lost in the music and the kind of effect that it had on him. He seems like a completely different person when he's surrounded by music, it's awesome.

Hugo stops being so bitter and angry with the world around him and it's nice to see that in him. I feel like Hugo wants to be angry more than anything but whenever music is playing he forgets to be angry. It's amazing what music can do to a person, isn't it?

I liked getting an overview of what Hugo's life at school is like, having students around with guide dogs and having to announce themselves so the rest of the students know who they are. I like Hugo's school and I can tell he likes it as well, this is the place where he's surrounded by people like him and they understand what he's going through.

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Review #42, by AlexFanRainfall: Past and Future

23rd October 2014:
It's taken me a while to leave this review but I'm finally here. I thought I would just get the CC out of the way first. Personally, I felt like Ginny was a bit out of character. I can see where she's coming from about wanting to rebuild Harry's childhood home, and she had good arguments as well but I feel like if Harry wasn't comfortable with that idea that she would understand and at least consider the possibility of not rebuilding the home. Clearly Harry feels like if they were to fix up the place it would be like trying to erase traces of his parents from his life and obviously he doesn't want that. And I personally found it weird that in all of the time that Harry and Ginny have been together he not once took her to see Godric's Hollow. I mean, this is his wife here, and Godric's Hollow is an important part of Harry's past, I would've thought that he would've taken Ginny to see the place where it all started. But then again, this is just me so feel free to ignore this.

Moving on, Hugo is such a pessimistic child and honestly I can see why, when you look at things from his perspective, the Wizarding world really doesn't have much to offer him. The muggle world is in fact more suited for Hugo and Hogwarts would be extremely difficult for him to navigate, especially the stairs, those would be a nightmare. But he seems really aware for a child is I guess the best way to put it, I like how he thinks about his actions and questions why he does some of the things that he did. When he lashed out, I like how he acknowledged that he really had no reason to act the way that he did and asked himself why he was so angry. I feel like Hugo wants someone to reprimand him, had he not been blind and lashed out like he did, he would've gotten punished for his behaviour and the fact that he got away with it is like another reminder to him that he can't see.

I'm really growing to like Hugo and I love reading about this story from his perspective.

Author's Response: I definitely get where you're coming from regarding Ginny! Getting the characterisations in that bit was a pain and I kind of knew it wasn't right for her but I got lazy and didn't wrestle with it. Now you've confirmed that that bit's a mess, I'll try and make myself actually do something about it! Harry not taking Ginny to see Godric's Hollow - yeah, I get what you mean there as well, but my explanation would be that he moved on too completely and never felt even that he could bring the idea up because that might have meant talking about the past and actually thinking about it. And yeah, he'd have been comfortable with his wife, he just didn't want to think about it himself. But yeah, Ginny, and Harry too to a lesser extent, are characters I haven't really managed to get a grip on and I do need to have another think about them and do some editing. :P

Thank you! Hugo is a character I DO feel I understand now, and yeah, he hates thinking that he's being treated differently. Normal kids might be resentful at being punished for bad behaviour, but the way he gets more slack means he feels guilty about it and also of course is reminded of WHY those allowances are made for him.

Really glad you like it! Thanks for the review, and I'll try to do something with that CC!

~ Leo


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Review #43, by AlexFanRainfall: King's Cross

19th October 2014:
I was supposed to leave you five reviews for the challenge but you never PM'd me so I figured I'd pick a story and I decided to go with this one.

I haven't read many stories where the main character was blind, I've written some but read few and it's always interesting to see the different ways that people portray this kind of disability. I think you've made Hugo very realistic, his reactions to things is I think completely normal, I can understand why he would get angry at a little kid asking why he's funny. He knows that the kid probably doesn't know any better but that doesn't stop him from getting angry at being treated like he's some kind of freak.

I love how you included the details about how Hugo had to learn how to read differently and to do other things differently like thing his shoes because it just makes him more real, you can really get a sense of the kind of struggles that he's faced. I'm so excited to see where this story goes!

Author's Response: I forgot to PM..? Oh, oops! I would have requested for this story anyway. :D

Yeah, he might know that the kid doesn't mean anything by it, but that doesn't stop it from making him angry. Perhaps more angry because the kid is speaking honestly, and it's a reminder that this is how people actually see him (despite adults' attempts to treat him normally).

Thank you so much! I really hope you like the rest. :D

~ Leo xx


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Review #44, by AlexFanYear Five: The Trouble With Laurel

10th October 2014:
Oh no, DONíT DO IT LAUREL! AVOID THE TEMPTATION, DONíT DO IT! On the other hand, as much as it saddens me that Laurel succumbed to her want, itís realistic and something that happens to plenty of people. Just because someone is out of rehabilitation doesnít mean that theyíre completely fixed, the want to fall back on the old habits is still going to be there, and for some, they want it so much that theyíre willing to risk going back to their addiction in order to satisfy that want.

I always say that relationships in a group of friends is a bad idea because stuff like what went on between Tristan and Laurel happens. Everything gets awkward and people start taking sides and itís no longer just friends anymore feelings get involved and things get messy. But I guess I can kind of see where the temptation is, when you feel broken and like no one else will care, you might be attracted to someone that feels similarly.

I kind of feel bad for Emily though, sheís so left out of the loop and she must be wondering whatís going on with her friends and why theyíre all acting weirdly.

That bit when Pomona was talking about the familyís the fit stereotypes and therefore were seen as the poster people for magical families is so true, especially in fandoms. Every fandom has itís good people and itís bad people, and even though the good are predominant, itís the unkind ones that everyone always looks at and uses as a guideline for every other fan in the fandom.

Tristan is entering into even more dangerous territory here. He needs to open up to someone about his problems, Emily seems like sheís more than willing to listen to any problems that her friends might have but it seems like no one wants to talk about their problems. All of Tristanís friends are so concerned with helping the other that they completely forget to take care of themselves and to deal with their own issues.

Author's Response: GAH, I KNOW! This story was so hard to write at times, because these characters do so many things I don't like. So I'm really glad for what you said about it being realistic, and that she wouldn't just be super fixed after. That's why I wrote it, because if I was going to handle addiction, I didn't want to make it seem like someone could just go to rehab and then be 100% better.

Right?! Laurel and Tristan are super jeopardizing their friendship. I definitely didn't approve of their actions, but I'm glad you thought I made a good case for their reasoning nonetheless.

And yes! Emily is definitely the one who demands my sympathy in this situation :(

Dude, confirmation bias is SUCH A BIG PROBLEM. Way too often, people let a very small minority of some group reaffirm their perspective of the whole group. Confirmation bias is usually how people justify racism, or pretty much any other prejudice ever.

What you said about everyone being so concerned with other people's issues that they don't deal with their own is *super on point.* And actually, kind of got me to thinking. Throughout this whole section of the story, Laurel is very kind of selfish and self-absorbed. Then again, she's like the only person who's dealing with her own stuff. It kind of begs the question of which strategy is the most healthy. Like most questions in this story, that is very much up to the reader to interpret.

Thank you so much for leaving such a thoughtful and insightful review. This one especially meant a lot to me!

xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #45, by AlexFanChai, Samosas, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Samosas, and a Surprise

10th October 2014:
You know that I love everything that you write and so it should come as no surprise that I loved this story of yours.

First off, I love how you kept throwing in little bits and pieces about Hannahís family and her culture through food and other things that she personally found strange. The minute that I started reading the story, I just knew that something good was going to happen just from the tone of your writing.

Neville and Hannah are so cute! The two of them just cooking side by side and making pleasant banter just warms my heart. They seem like theyíre already married to be honest with the way that they are around each other.

And this is going to be completely random but about that whole chai bit, OH MY GOD FINALLY THEREíS A CHARACTER THAT CALLS TEA BY ITS PROPER NAME. I have this slight problem with chai tea because in my language, chai also means tea (except itís spelled caj, not chai) so the first time I heard someone ask me, ďDo you want some chai tea?Ē I was so confused because why are you offering me tea tea before I figured out that they were talking about masala.

I could definitely feel something between Neville and Hannah, there was this instant connection between the two of them and you could already see the friendship between the two of them and how it would grow into something more than just friendship. I think you did a great job on this and it was absolutely wonderful!

Author's Response: Aww! That's so wonderful of you to say! Thank you ^.^

People's families and cultures are such an integral part of them, but they manifest those things in small, subtle ways. I wanted that for Hannah, for her to be comfortable with who she is.

Neville and Hannah are adorable. More stories should be written about these two. There's just so much potential of them being cute and fun and adorable together. And they're totally married in my head :P

I FEEL YOU ABOUT CHAI DUDE. I get so confused when I hear or read "chai tea". I'm always like "why are they saying tea twice?" Ugh. So annoying! So I really wanted to included just the one word for it.

I really enjoyed writing these two together, and I think how much fun I had really showed. I'd love to write more of their love story someday. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #46, by AlexFanL'optimisme: Words

5th October 2014:
Itís been six days since you requested and Iím finally here!

One thing that I love about reading your story is that you take something that seems a bit random and work it into your story, making it relevant and even important in the characters and the setting around them. I love how you take such simple themes and weave an entire story out of it.

I donít know how Iím able to tell the difference between Dumbledore and Grindelwald because theyíre both such eloquent men yet somehow you manage to write them in a way so that itís easy to pick up on whoís speaking and itís something that very few authors seem to be able to do.

I donít think the story is dragging on, the slowness fits the plot, it may feel like itís dragging on for some but I think that itís mostly due to the fact that this is one of those stories where you have to be in a certain mood in order to really enjoy it, itís one of those stories where youíve got to have the most patience and the most time in order to really read it properly and understand it.

I like the direction that the story is going, Iím excited to see more of Albusís life after Grindelwald and what he got up to and the things that he did. I liked how Albus chose not to let Grindelwald and the summer that the two of them shared define him and how he would live out the rest of his days.

I enjoy the melancholic mood, itís different for everyone but I really like it because itís exactly the sort of tone that Albus would speak in when thinking back to his younger years and pondering over the decisions that he made and how things couldíve gone differently.

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks for stopping by! :) No worries about time - RL can be annoying at times ;)

Gah, thank you so much! When I started this, I didn't really think about what the whole thematic thing would mean, tbh, but now I've got further with it, it's so much fun to do - and it kinda helps me plan the chapters, lol. I'm so glad you like it, though, because it's not quite the usual kind of themes in a fic, so I was a bit nervous about it :)

I really tried to give them different voices, so I listened a lot to a pair of German guys in my class, and a German professor I had to try and get habits and things from them I could use for Gellert, whereas for Dumbledore I just reread his bits in the books :P I'm so happy you think it worked, though - it's strangely jarring for me to go from one voice to another, even though they're not totaly dissimilar. I always worry I'm gonna mix them up :P

Thank you so much! I'm so bad at writing quick, fast-paced things - one of the reasons I hate writing action :P

I'm so glad you like Albus and how he's going, too! I really didn't want to have him just mope around - it's the kind of thing which gets boring quickly, and it's not really realistic. In the end (hopefully without spoiling things!) it kinda does define him, but at this point, he doesn't want it to. He's not going to let it hold him back or anything :)

I actually really like writing Albus' voice, with the melancholy - it's sort of wistful and I wanted to try and convey the regret he has over so many things, even though he doesn't have answers as to what he should have done instead, you know? But yeah, I'm just so glad you liked it! :)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! As always, they're such wonderful things to get - and they really make me feel I can do this! :)

Aph xx


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Review #47, by AlexFanYear Five: The Little Things (1992)

5th October 2014:
Oh wow, Laurelís mom doesnít seem to be a very nice person. I mean, I get that sheís worried about her daughter but she seems to be making it even more difficult for Laurel to recover properly. How is she supposed to get back to normal when her mother is breathing down her neck and making comments at the fact that Laurel is having trouble with her magic. And I know why she doesnít trust Laurel but she could at least do a better job of hiding it, if she showed a little more trust Laurel might believe that her mother believed that she could get better.

You keep taunting me with Tristanís middle name, am I ever going to find out what his middle name is or is it just going to be a mystery until the very end. Tristanís file makes it sound like heís some sort of top secret government agent or something (I was watching spy movies last night forgive me). Just out of curiosity, but why would so much information be blacked out in his files (or anyones files?)

I think Sprout is very good as a councillor. People are generally very closed off when it comes to talking to their therapist, and it makes sense that Laurel would feel like this was just another place where someone would look at her and see a failure. I like how Sprout managed to convince her that that wasnít what she was there to do and that she was there to genuinely help Laurel.

Itís so sad to see how everyone has just kind of given up, y0u know. Tristan is depressed but he wonít see anyone about it because itís like, whatís the point of ever being happy and Laurel just sees herself as a burden and a huge mess that she thinks everyone is being forced to clean up after. She doesnít seem to see the point of why you should bother caring about anything anymore or why you should make an effort towards anything. I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

Author's Response: No, Laurel's mom isn't super great. I was hoping that by introducing her, it might help explain where Laurel's head had been out/where some of her behavior comes from. And I think your analysis is spot on! Laurel does need someone to believe in her--I hadn't exactly thought of it in those words, but it's exactly right.

Officially, it's a mystery until the very end--but the basic gist of the point of it comes across earlier! And as for why his info has been blacked out, you will see!

Yee! So glad you liked Sprout! I really enjoyed writing her, and definitely thought she would make a great therapist!

Oh trust me, I want everyone to be happy and have a good life, too! It's a rocky road for them to get there, as is often the case :( I'm really pleased that you feel for these characters though!

Thank you so much for the thoughtful review!
xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #48, by AlexFanOur Post-Relationship Friendship: One day after

27th September 2014:
Story Search Round 1

I've been meaning to read this story for a while but I've been really busy so the Story Search gave me a perfect reason! Scorpius seems so lost after the breakup with Rose, and though I've never experienced something like this, I can see why he feels this way. Rose has been such a huge part of his life for so long that he would obviously feel like something is missing from his life.

I like the other characters that you've introduced as well. Lottie and Natasha seem really great, if maybe a little weird but I already really love them and I'm excited to see what they add to Scorpius's life. Scorpius's parents are absolutely perfect, oh my God, they're so concerned with his love life, it's almost like they're giving him advice on how to deal with a bully. I wonder how well Scorpius's friendship plan is going to go.

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Review #49, by AlexFanSomething Good: Something Good

27th September 2014:
Story Search Round 1

I loved the beginning of this! I could just picture the chaos going on on Platform 9 and 3/4. I could picture Olivia having to press against the wall as students pushed past her yelling and chasing their friends. The UK must've been such a different setting than PEI for her. Speaking of PEI, AW YEAH A CANADIAN CHARACTER FEELING PROUD RIGHT NOW.

I can definitely understand Olivia just being a likeable person, there are just some people out there that you instantly get along with, there's just something about them that you instantly click with and it's just awesome.

I knew Olivia would be a Hufflepuff, I just knew it! She seemed really nice and loyal and I have no doubt that she's a hardworker.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hadn't thought about this story in a long time, but I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! I wanted to try to de-cliche this plot idea, and I'm not sure how successful I was, but I'm happy you liked parts of it! Yay Canada! I thought that was a less common place of origin for an OC, so I'm happy you liked that! Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Ravenpuffs forever! ;)

--Emily


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Review #50, by AlexFanThe Four Horsemen: The White Horse

27th September 2014:
Story Search Round 1

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO SHORT BUT SO GOOD AND I REALLY WISH THERE WAS A SECOND CHAPTER. I love Victoire, she kind of reminds of Lady Macbeth with her ruthlessness. I love how she's this take charge sort of girl who knows exactly how much power she holds. She knows that she's beautiful and she knows how much power her beauty lends her. Others might consider her vain but I absolutely love this about Victoire. I also really like how so unattached she is to things, I don't why I like it, that's perhaps not such a desirable trait but I really really love that about Victoire. She's ambitious and she gets what she wants even if the things that she does to get there are unethical. The more I think about her the more Machiavellian she appears.

She does what she wants and she doesn't care what anyone says about her. Be the innocent flower on the outside but the serpent underneath (I don't have Macbeth memorized my teacher has just been saying this a lot lately).

I really loved your prose in this as well, you just set up the scene and the character really nicely and everything just helped me understand Victoire more and more as a character. I really look forward to see what her role in this story is.

SO EXCITED FOR THIS!

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