Reading Reviews From Member: AlexFan
  
1,450 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFanA Muggle's Wand: Undisputed

28th February 2015:
I never thought that I would ever see the day in which Ron Weasley would ever be described as agile as a cat. I still picture him as tripping over his own feet no matter how much of an expert he may be when it comes to being an Auror. But, that aside, I like how you wrote Ron. Youíve captured his loyalty to Harry in the way that he uses the anger that erupts inside of him at seeing his best mate taken down to go after the remaining witch and wizard. And I can definitely see him being an aggressive Auror, his past actions are proof that when it comes to Death Eaters and other criminals, Ron doesnít exactly hold back on his hatred. The one thing that I really liked about him though, and that seems to have changed about Ron, is that he doesnít let his quick temper get in his way. Heís learned to control his anger and is able to focus on the problem at hand and I can definitely see Ron learning how to control his anger.

Look at Ron, all grown up, he could barely levitate a feather when he was eleven and now heís throwing around cars at his enemy like itís nobodyís problem. Heís come so far, and I like how youíve captured his arrogance and confidence. Youíve written Ron in a very believable way, heís older, and more mature, but you can still see traces of the teenage Ron still in him, especially at the end when heís so proud of himself now that heís finally figured out something that he really excels at and how excited he is to tell Hermione, I can just imagine how happy she would be to hear about his new stance.

Iím so sorry for taking so long with this, Iíve barely had enough time to shower let alone read fanfiction so this is coming a bit late!

Author's Response: Thanks for the excellent review, I really enjoyed writing an adult Ron. I took his love of chess and turned that into a tactical advantage for Auror work. He may not be the best pound for pound fighter but he's definitely the smartest.

No worries on the timeframe, I love all reviews.


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Review #2, by AlexFanL'optimisme: Malapropisms

28th February 2015:
I think Albus is definitely growing as a character. He used to be this boy who was hopelessly in love and blinded to the negative aspects of Gellertís character to someone who has acknowledged the things that he did when he was young, and the things that heís felt, and that he still feels those things but he knows better now. I feel like this is around the time when Albus starts growing into the character that we see in the book, for me at least, I donít know about anyone else.

I like how Albus has come to accept that he still has feelings for Gellert at this point in the story but that he shouldnít let what he feels get in the way of whatís right. And I like that he knows that there might come a day when he can move on from Gellert but that day is not today. But at the same time, it kind of feels like Albus keeps moving because heís trying to run away from his past, even after all of these years and him going back to England seems to be him finally coming to terms with everything thatís happened.

I thought the flow and pace of the chapters, exactly what was needed to show Albus moving on with his life in a sense. And Iím sorry for taking so long with this review, Iíve been really busy lately and Iíve finally got enough time to do basic things as well as leave reviews.

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Review #3, by AlexFanAtonement Is Coming: A Shadowy Threat

13th February 2015:
Hello there, I'm finally here with my review!
(Also, I apologise if this ends up showing up
weirdly when you read it, I think my computer is
glitching).

Flow:I thought the flow at the beginning of the
story was great, everything was smooth and moved
at a natural pace. However the bit with Harry,
Ginny, and the rest felt a little rushed to me. It
seemed like everyone arrived and left pretty
quickly. My suggestion would be to maybe stretch
the scene out a little bit and go into detail
about some of the things that everyone discussed
before getting to the part where Harry announces
the news.

Characterization: I thought everyone was pretty in
character. McGonagall seemed really well written,
you got her reserved yet caring nature down really
well. I thought Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione
were also in character, particularly when Ginny
glared at Harry for spilling the beans before he
was supposed to. It brought back memories of them
as teenagers.

Interesting: I always love reading peoples
theories and headcanons about what happened after
the fall of Voldemort, because some people go with
really cheerful things and others go in a
direction similar to this. I can definitely
imagine that the events that Minerva and Kingsley
were discussing taking place. It's completely
natural to expect hostility towards purebloods
after the fall of Voldemort and I'm actually very
interested in seeing how you explore this issue
and what this new group is planning on doing.

Author's Response: Hi Alexfan,

Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story!

I'm really happy to hear that you thought my characterization was good. Some of the characters are easier to write than others, but I really wanted to stay pretty true to the books.

In addition to your review, a few other reviewers have also told me that the announcement scene is too rushed. I really did struggle with writing it and actually re-wrote it 3 different times. I will, however, be re-editing it this weekend some time, so I hope to smooth it out a bit. I think I will take your advice and talk a little bit more about the things happening at the party.

I'm glad that you find this particular theory interesting. It isn't exactly headcanon for me, just something that popped into my mind. I hope that I am capable of turning it into an awesome story.

Again, thank you so much for your review! I will really take it to heart while I am re-editing.

~TreacleTart


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Review #4, by AlexFanA Muggle's Wand: Prologue: Bellatrix's New Pet

13th February 2015:
I'm here with your requested review.

Flow: I thought the flow was really good, the
progression of events seemed smooth and natural. I
like how you started off the chapter with this
unknown muggle and how he got himself into a
situation with Bellatrix and Dark Magic.

Characterization: I thought your characterization
of Bellatrix was perfect actually. You really
captured how unhinged she was as a person and
exactly how dangerous she was. Throwing Serahn
around and just generally messing with him is
something that Bellatrix would do. All of the
disturbing parts of Bellatrix were written
perfectly, the sick pleasure that she got out of
torturing people, the extent to which she really
hates muggles to the point where she would even
keep one as a pet.

All in all an awesome and interesting beginning to
your story.

Author's Response: What a great review! Thank you for your insight into Bellatrix, I had a ball writing her. I look forward to hearing what you think of more chapters!

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Review #5, by AlexFanIce Cream-Flavored Jealousy: Throwing Waffle Cones.

13th February 2015:
I remember reading this a long time ago. Ger is still my favourite character so far, I love her sarcasm and her no nonsense kind of attitude. She's got a very abrasive personality but you can tell that under that prickly nature of her she's probably a good person who will help you out if she likes you.

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Review #6, by AlexFanLilium: Chapter One: A New Start

12th February 2015:
Before I start, I'm a stickler for canon, like a huge stickler so I get a bit of a twitch when something set in the Potterverse does not follow canon unless it's AU. To be honest, I've never read a James/Lily story that has strayed so far away from canon and I don't know how to deal with it.

I guess I can wrap my head around Lily going to Beauxbatons, but if she moved to France at the age of ten or eleven, and no one else in her family knew French, her first couple of years at Beauxbatons would've probably been quite difficult because she'd have to get around the language barrier that she was facing, and get around it fast. I can understand her being forced to move because of the job that her parents had or something but, other than that, I don't really see why she wouldn't go to Hogwarts in the first place. And maybe this is just me, but wouldn't Lily going to Beauxbatons alter the friendship that she had with Snape and how it affected her character as she got older?

(Also, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are not all girl and boy schools despite what the movies would have you think.)

I liked your characterization of Lily because while she was definitely a kind person, if you stepped on her toes or were cruel for no reason, she definitely wouldn't have trouble putting you in your place. And you can see that in her treatment of Petunia, she loves her sister but she has no problem dishing out to her the same treatment that she gets.

I thought Petunia's character was a little OOC. The entire reason for why she's cruel to Lily is because she's jealous and angry that her sister can do magic, and is "special" while she does not (do magic). And to be told that she can't attend magic school because she can't do magic is pretty much rejection for Petunia so I guess I can't really see why she would owl wizards from Durmstrang when they represent the same things as Lily and are an even bigger reminder that the wizarding world has rejected her. What I did like about Petunia however was her confidence and how happy she was with who she was a person. You don't see that in a lot of character's in fic and I like how Petunia won't let what anyone says get her down because she knows what kind of a person she is and what she looks like. She is secure in who she is as a person and she's not going to let anyone try to step on that or take it away from her and I really admire that about her.

I can't really tell you where your story is going, it is after all, your story and you are the author so what you decide to write is completely up to you. I can see your story going into interesting places and your characters developing in a certain way but it's really up to you. I definitely like your writing style, it's descriptive and it flows really well, and you can tell a lot about your characters just from the simple things that they do like fidget or talk. When it comes to readership I really can't say. Some readers are going to stick around for more, while others might not, and it's not going to be because your story is bad, because it really isn't, but it could be for a variety of other reasons, it really depends on what a person likes.

Author's Response: I would firstly like to thank you immensely for taking the time to read and review this for me. It is very much appreciated. I admire the honesty you have shown and it has very much helped me to understand my own writing much better.

Firstly, I am aware of the strange James/Lily ship that that currently been presented, and will look at perhaps amending my story summary in reflection of your comments.

I will also be revising this chapter in the hopes of clearing up a few of the issues that you have pointed out with regards to their move to France, and the relationship between herself and Snape.

I am glad that you enjoyed the characterizations of Lily and Petunia, though I will be looking to establish Petunia's character a little more in light of her OOCness.

I'd like to say also that I greatly appreciate your comments about my style of writing.

So, thank you once again for reading and reviewing my story and considering my areas of concern, you've given me a lot to think about and a lot to play about with. Cheers!


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Review #7, by AlexFanA Terrible Mistake: A Terrible Mistake

12th February 2015:
Hello! Iím here with your review!

I think you nailed Lucius to be honest. We donít
get a look inside his head throughout the series
but I think you nailed his line of thinking. I
like how you didnít make him particularly sorry
for the crimes that he had committed, just sorry
for the fact that everything had come down to such
a bloody war and that he had bet everything on
Voldemort and lost. Even when Lucius is admitting
that heís weak you can still see the Slytherin in
him. I liked how he literally just outright stated
that he had only been in it for the power that it
would give him and how much he now regretted
everything that he had done.

The contrast between the young Lucius and the old
Lucius was good because it showed the change that
had come over him through the years. He had been
happy to do Voldemortís bidding because he hadnít
really had much to lose when he was younger and
now he has so much more to lose if Voldemort had
won. I think the truly Lucius thing about this is
that heís devastated about the social blow that
Voldemort has cost him, he doesnít sound
particularly regretful about what heís done to
muggles, just that heís not benefitting (I feel
like Iím repeating myself at this point but you
get the idea).

I thought this was interesting and I liked your
portrayal of Lucius.

Author's Response: Hey bud!

Thanks so much for reviewing. Lucius was a lot of fun to write for this one, though a little tough so it's nice to know you think I captured his personality well.

xx-Wolfgirl


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Review #8, by AlexFanRose: Unrequited

10th February 2015:
I love the comparison that you made between Rose and the actual flower and how important of a person she was to Scorpius. I really got a sense of how he saw Rose and what she meant to him and how he felt for her throughout their friendship. I felt a little bad for Scorpius because he had just accepted his fate at being the best friend to Rose throughout his entire life.

This is one of those few stories where the best friend stays the best friend instead of suddenly getting their affections returned by the one that they like. And I liked how Scorpius was so okay with Rose not feeling the same way. I like how he didn't throw some fit or pull some "nice guy" stunt on her but instead stood by her whenever she needed him and supported Rose like a true friend would.

Everything about their relationship is just really nice, it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Scorpius and Rose's relationship is more like a brother/sister, I feel like I'm going in circles but I just really like how they get along.

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Review #9, by AlexFanOut of the Darkness: Into the Sun

7th February 2015:
I'm always such a sucker for Marauder stories and especially ones that explore the relationship between Harry and Lily.

I like how you kept the focus on Lily's feelings and fears for Harry throughout this. I especially liked how it starts with her crying silently because of the fate that she knows awaits her son. It just makes you think about how much fear Lily and James must've felt during this time and how well they must've had to hide it from Harry so that he wouldn't think something was wrong.

I don't know how the two of them could've dealt with knowing that at any day it might've been their last, their last day to spend with Harry and make him happy and hold him. If only Lily had known then everything that Harry was going to go through, and I definitely believe that she and James were there for Harry through everything that he experienced even if he couldn't see them. I can just imagine them cheering him on whenever he was faced with a challenge.

So all in all I really enjoyed this!

Author's Response: Well you have came to the right place! :D

Yeah, I can't imagine either how it must have felt for James and Lily living out their last moments.

Me too! Lily and James as invincible spectators in Harry's life. Maybe I might write something like that one day!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed this story!



- Asphodel


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Review #10, by AlexFanPainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

6th February 2015:
I saw this on the recent page and the summary looked interesting but I never got around to reading this until now.

I don't normally read a lot of Draco/Astoria, which is sad because there's so much potential for them so this was exciting for me. I like how you've written Draco. He's got this feel about him like he doesn't know how to deal with feeling emotions, which is understandable considering how much he must've had to push aside his feelings and feel nothing while Voldemort is in power.

I like how he doesn't know what to do with the fact that he's attracted to this woman named Astoria and doesn't know how to deal with it. And their interaction is a little awkward but it's really cute because you can just see them learning how to be around each other. I can already see the affection that is going to be growing with them and the type of comfortable, easy relationship that they're going to have. One of those ones where the couple can sit in silence, and still understand what the other is saying just through body language.

I really hope you decide to post the next chapter soon.

Author's Response: Well thanks for stopping by! :D

I feel like I can't find too many Drastoria stories anymore. At the time I wrote this (2012) there were plenty but now not too many. I suppose I'm trying to make them get a comeback. Draco doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and that's what this story is about. Neither of them do. He's living this life and he loves his wife but she doesn't anymore or at least it appears like she doesn't love him anymore so he's miserable but he can't not be with her because the memory of Astoria makes him happy, ergo, painful bliss.

The second chapter, well the first really, is a bit of a time jump so their interaction will be entirely different. I don't want to say it is completely love less but things have happened.

I'm posting the next chapter after my Filch Valentine's Day one-shot is posted. So very soon! Thank you so much for the well thought out review!


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Review #11, by AlexFanHarry Potter and the Broomstick Makers: Prologue

6th February 2015:
I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to your review but everything has been very busy lately.

Pacing/Flow: The pacing felt a little bit rushed in my opinion. I think the beginning was fine, I could understand the situation that was going on but the second half, with Harry in it, felt rushed, which was mostly due to the fact that it was almost completely composed of dialogue. One suggestion that I would make is to focus on your description, talk about what the characters are doing, their expressions, whether they're fidgeting or not. You could even describe what kind of room that they're in and such, it would really help slow everything down and pull in the reader.

Secondly, the scene with Harry was a little confusing, I know that it was supposed to be mysterious, and don't get me wrong, it does leave me wanting to read more of the story, but at the same time, it's a little confusing. Harry is being very vague with what he's saying, and I don't have a clear idea of exactly what's going on between him and his Head of Department. Maybe if you gave some background on why Harry is in his Head's office and maybe gave a slight summary of the events that took place before his meeting it would make everything a little less ambiguous.

That being said, what you do have at the moment is good, especially the beginning, I liked the detail that was in it and the mystery that you have going on with the broom maker and his problem, I thought that was a very good way to start off the story. Unfortunately, I don't have the time at the moment to go through each and every chapter of your story (unless you come back and request for the second chapter), or really any story at the moment unless it's requested of me. But I hope I was a little bit helpful!

(I would also recommend a beta since they can pick up on any mistakes that you may not see and make suggestions to your writing. It never hurts to have a second opinion!)

Author's Response: Thank you for sparing time for this, AlexFan.
To focus on my description is my top priority. I'll reread and have to describe more.

I intended to mask the clue but your suggestion to write some background why Harry was in the office should be kept in my mind.

I've just posted for a beta request on forum, I wish I could develop skills in writing stories with advice.

Thank you again, your decent review!


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Review #12, by AlexFanExceptional Circumstances: Premonition of Doom I

30th January 2015:
If the people working for Ganymede have any of the qualities that the myths for the Olympians say the gods have, then I would say Persephone is the perfect choice to pick for whatever plan he has in mind. Hell hath no fury like Persephone scorned. Honestly the amount of things that that girl did to people that crossed her is amazing. I think the only person that comes close to Persephone's wrath is her mother Demeter.

But in other words, yay, the plot is finally moving forward and we finally get to meet the villain! I like the air of mystery that you keep around him, he sounds dangerous but at the same time, you don't really know much about him.

And regarding Roxanne, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T INCLUDE PEOPLE IN IMPORTANT PLANS LIKE JAMES'S SAFETY THE PERSON PROTECTING HIM ENDS UP NOT BEING ABLE TO DO HER JOB. Honestly, it's like Addie has to watch not only James but his entire family too just to make sure they don't do anything stupid and put him in harms way. THERE IS A DANGER A FOOT!

Author's Response: Did you honestly say (type) THERE'S DANGER AFOOT! You are my new favourite :D

While Ganymede's people have nom de plumes after Greek gods/goddesses because their work is similar, I chose Persephone because she is a young goddess, and therefore, I'm inclined to believe, quite inexperienced. Forgive me if that is not, mythologically spaeking, the case :)

Addison does have quite a lot on her plate, doesn't she? And handling a firecracker like Roxy can never be easy :)

Thanks so much for reviewing!
-Akansha


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Review #13, by AlexFanVictoire: Uncle Harry's Warning

29th January 2015:
I knew that something intense was going to happen in this chapter from the way that you ended the previous one but I had no idea that quite what would be in store. Needless to say, you didnít fail with the follow up, your description of the images in the photos made my stomach turn a little bit. I canít imagine what Izzy must be feeling after seeing those photos sent to her by post, what sick person would do something like that?! And the worst part is that magical photographs move so can you just imagine those images moving through the same sequence over and over again.

Okay, I need to stop.

I love the banter between Asher and Victoire because they represent two sides of Ravenclaw house. Thereís Victoire who believes that working hard and doing everything by hand is the best option because then you retain more information, and then thereís Asher who doesnít see the point of it and just wants to finish his work using the most logical, smart way of doing it.

Iím so looking forward to seeing how this story progresses because I can just tell that no matter how hard I try, Iím going to be trying to figure out who the murderer is (and Iíll probably end up being wrong with my guess). Iíve already started guessing on who the killer is and you probably havenít even introduced him. I really liked this chapter and Iím looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you found the pictures impactful. I really wanted to convey creepiness, and you're definitely right that it would be worse in magical photographs.

And thank you for liking Asher and Victoire! You're definitely right. They're both extremely clever and work very hard, but have quite different attitudes. Asher's also muggle born so gets frustrated when he thinks the wizarding world is a bit behind the muggle world, like they are in the case of the lunar charts.

The next chapter should be up soon. I'm aiming to update at least twice a month.

Thank you so much for such a kind review!

Emma xx


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Review #14, by AlexFanThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: Canít Take My Eyes Off of You

26th January 2015:
My favourite thing about this fic has to be the relationships that Molly and Arthur have with their siblings, no wonder Ron and his brothers and Ginny grew up to be such a tight knit group. Gideon and Fabian are absolute copies of Fred and George and I can just imagine Molly's reaction when her own twin sons picked up the tendencies of her two brothers, "It's like living with Fabian and Gideon again."

I love how Bilius doesn't even tease Arthur for very long about having a girlfriend, he's just there enjoying the events that take place, it's great. Molly's dad is so chill, I thought he would've been a lot more serious but instead he just directs Arthur to Molly's window and goes back to sleep, how many dads out there can claim that?

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Review #15, by AlexFanChai, Chutney, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Chutney, and a Surprise

26th January 2015:
I can relate to Hannah so much, I absolutely hate chopping onions, I always tear up so bad that it gets to the point where I canít even see anymore because thereís so much crying and I have to put down the knife and walk away. My eyes burning just thinking about it,

I understand Nevilleís struggle with the pressure cooker, my momís old one used to drive me crazy because it would start whistling at the most random of times and it would always startle me. And then whenever I tried to take the lid off, or attempt to, I couldnít figure out how I was supposed to turn it, I donít like pressure cookers is basically the story here.

The minute that Neville said that they should get married because of a chutney recipe I just wanted to groan because thatís not how you ask someone to marry you and I thought Hannah was just going to eat him alive for proposing that way. But at the same time, I wouldnít have expected anything more from Neville to be honest, it was just so completely Neville that it made laugh. It seemed like the perfect way for him to ask Hannah to marry him.

Oh my God Neville, way to tell the love of your life the story behind her engagement ring, ďNot because she killed him,Ē oh my God, where did this boy come from. Heís so sweet, and awkward, and dorky. I would like my own Neville, can I have my own Neville. I think your Neville is perfect, I wouldnít change anything about him at all, you can still see the eleven-year-old in him but at the same time heís a lot more confident and a lot happier than his kid-self and I love how youíve wrapped that all into one person so great.

(Also, Iím sorry this took so long I got sidetracked kpop.)

Author's Response: There are people who enjoy chopping onions? I either get my mother to do it, or take out a machine. Technology was invented so that I wouldn't have to chop onions! I'm just a puddle of painful tears when I chop them.

I remember when I first learnt how to open and close a pressure cooker. I feel you Neville - the struggle is real. They're so useful but they're just so difficult to use!

I just loved writing that scene. He's just so NEVILLE about it all. He wants to be this really cool and suave guy, but marriage is just such a huge thing, and he kind of just muddles right through it. I do love how he just keeps going, despite how terrible it's all going. But the great thing about these two is that Hannah gets him. A big part of it I think is that she's in shock - how can someone ask such a question by using a chutney recipe as a segue?

So much of Neville's awkwardness is my awkwardness to be honest. I feel like this is the kind of story I'd tell. I can babble terribly when I'm nervous. I'm just so happy by how many people love Neville. People have really embraced the dorkiness!

Thanks for the lovely review. (And totally understandable - kpop is a black hole)


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Review #16, by AlexFanBeing a Falmouth Falcon: Clubs and One Night Stands

25th January 2015:
I was kind of hoping that Gigi would've been the bigger person and told Camilla that Adam and James always get like that when they're drunk. I am always one hundred percent here for girls sticking up for girls and I feel like Camilla is a little lost or maybe she just wants to be noticed and she thinks having everything that Gigi has is going to change that. I mean don't get me wrong, she shouldn't have said that about Jenny, Camilla has no right to judge someone on what life choices they've made.

But yeah, Gigi, is going to have to burn all of her furniture and get her flat cleansed with some holy water. And I'm so proud of her for being so secure in her relationship with James, because she's not jealous, she's more annoyed but she knows James and she knows how loyal he is and I like that they trust each other so much, that's a good relationship right there.

Author's Response: Gigi the bigger person? You're funny. Camila is... a treat. She's definitely got something wrong with her. I couldn't tell you what, but there's something wrong with that girl.

Gigi and James's relationship is based off of a lot of...interesting things. Well, you've seen it! You've read the first story ;).

xoxo


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Review #17, by AlexFanPsychos and Psychologists : Problem Number Eleven

24th January 2015:
It's so good to see this story back! I was wondering what had happened to it!

Finally, there's some progress being made though! Coral is actually going to be able to provide some form of help now that Albus has decided to actually open up to her. And I'm actually kind of glad that she yelled at him to be honest, it seemed like Albus was just looking for a reason to stay angry and using that whole, "you don't know anything about me thing," as a way of keeping people out and snapping at them. Maybe people would know what they were talking about if he actually opened up about his problems.

In regards to your writing, you're definitely not a bad writer, I think the main thing you need to work on is your description because you kind of leave out the details about the things going on around your characters which results in what appears to be too much dialogue and very little setting.

(Also, Kenny is my favourite.)

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Review #18, by AlexFanThe Worst: Settling

23rd January 2015:
Okay first off, that ending, wow, now I want to know what David Dale could possibly have to offer Dom, although I get the feeling that it might not be good or maybe he's going to offer Dom a position in a werewolf pack or something like that.

Pace: I thought the pace was good, everything went at a really good speed, there was enough information put in to move the story enough but not so much that it started dragging. I liked that feeling of Dom having to get straight back to work as soon as her transformation was over kind of showing how the world didn't stop for her just because she had bigger problems than most people.

Characterization: I thought your Dom was spot on personally. I could picture her pushing the talk with Teddy as far away as possible and keeping herself busy with other things to take her mind off of what she needs to do. I thought everyone else was pretty spot on as well.

So, you know, awesome chapter (as usual).

Author's Response: Thank you once again for your review. I'll try to update much sooner this time as there're only 2 chapters (or possibly one if I decide to combine them) left for this story now. As for David Dale, we'll see.

It's a relief that the pace was good. I was afraid it was dragging a little. Yes, it is definitely like Dom to throw herself into work - and the world definitely doesn't stop for her.

I am so relieved that you find Dom's personality consistent so far. Thank you for your awesome review!


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Review #19, by AlexFanChai, Carrots, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Carrots, and a Surprise

21st January 2015:
I AM SO HAPPY YOU CAME BACK FOR THE NEXT ONE-SHOT!

The cutest thing is watching Neville worry about gaining a few pounds, thatís just so cute and it made me laugh because I can just picture Neville thinking about something like that. Even now that Neville is a big Auror, heís still envious of how other people are more courageous than he is when heís an Auror for Godís sake. But I guess it takes a different type of bravery to do what Hannah did.

Itís so cute how excited Neville is to have Hannah to visit. The way that he hugs her and thinks about her, Hannah has already become home for Neville. He really does have it bad. I canít stop smiling.

Dazzle you with my mad culinary skills.

I am laughing and smiling so much, this is so cute I donít know what to do with myself. This is the best Hannah/Neville that Iíve ever read in my entire life. I would recommend this to anyone. Neville, your Herbology nerdiness is showing.

If my culinary teacher heard Neville summoning a peeler like that, heíd probably go into some kind of frenzy and start yelling about the dangers of doing something like that and how it couldíve cut Neville.

Neville is such a dork oh my goodness. Him and his amazing fire fighting skills. I love how heís just prepared in case a fire does start to get the hell out of his flat and just run for it before he dies. And how he has to remind himself that heís not going to literally impress the pants off of Hannah. I love Neville, Neville is just perfect. Neville is going to woo Hannah with his impressive pruning skills.

Neville knows the qualifications for being a teacher. I donít hate children. Children donít hate me. I would love to attend a class taught your Neville to be perfectly honest. But just think about how far Neville has come, he used to be this little kid who couldnít even stand up to his friends and now heís willing to stand in front of a class and teach.

The ending was perfect this entire thing was perfect, Iím one second away from shrieking at a pitch that only dogs will be able to hear. Not even joking Iím about to cry from how cute and wonderful this is. You write romance so well I donít know how you do it but youíve been blessed by the gods of romance or something because this was brilliant.

Author's Response: Ah! I'm so happy you're back as well!

I feel as if I've written Neville with all my anxieties and concerns. He can get carried away in his thoughts sometimes. But I'm pleased that it works!

I think the biggest thing we can take away from this is that Neville is a cutie. He's so genuinely enthusiastic about Hannah and their relationship, and that's so infectious. I'm always in such a great mood after I've written Neville.

Gah! *faints* THANKS SO MUCH. LET ME HUG YOU TO DEATH. I'm so pleased by how much people are enjoying this series. I wanted people to feel happy after reading them, and it makes me so happy that I'm succeeding!

That is the dumbest thing to do! Peelers can be dangerous! My poor thumb understands...

I think Neville doesn't realise that his appeal lies in his dorkiness. He wouldn't be Neville without it. I just want to hug him so hard sometimes.

Seriously, that's all you really need. And you know, a few skills in communication. I want to go to one of his classes, too! I feel like he'd be a really great educator! And I know, right? He's just grown so much! Argh! My love for Neville is endless!

Thank you so much! You're always so nice, Grace! I'm so happy that you enjoyed it :D ♥


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Review #20, by AlexFanMagical Beasts: A Documentary: Merpeople

19th January 2015:
I think youíre off to a really good start here, itís really interesting and your main character is likeable.

I thought the pace of the story was okay personally, considering that Bryn got arrested by merpeople and they threatened to kill her, Iíd say the pace was just right for the story. The only thing that I would suggest is maybe being more detailed with your description of what was actually under the lake. I know that Bryn couldnít see far but she had to pass by something and who knows what could be living under a lake with merpeople in it. You could have her react to something touching her leg or something slimy swimming past her without her noticing to maybe slow it down even more.

But other than that, I think itís great!

Author's Response: Oh thank you! I agree with you, I'll have to go back and add some imagery. I spent a lot of time researching merpeople for this chapter and I think I need to go back and do them more justice too now that I've reread it.

Thank you for your time!!!


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Review #21, by AlexFanChai, Zebras, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Zebras, and a Surprise

19th January 2015:
OH MY GOSH I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS I LOVED YOUR FIRST ONE-SHOT SO MUCH!

Neville is so cute! Even when heís sad he manages to give Hannah a compliment and sheís so cute as well. She pretends like all of the sweet stuff that Neville does is just something thatís friendly. If only she would open her eyes to the truth.

I absolutely love it when you add in little bits of Hannahís family culture into the story even if itís for something as simple as chai. I donít know why, itís just for me it makes her character come alive even more and I feel like I know Hannah better.

For me personally, itís very obvious that Neville has a crush on Hannah by the way that he looks at her and the way that he talks to her and treats her. And most importantly, by the way that sheís the person that he goes to when something like Atticus dying happens because he trusts her and he likes her. You donít go crying to just anyone when someone close to you dies so that says a lot about how much Hannah means to him.

I definitely think that this could stand on its own as a one-shot, but thereís a certain level of familiarity between the characters and in the writing that kind of hint that you donít have to, but you should read the one-shot coming before this one. But yes, it can stand on its own.

Oh, and lastly, I was so excited to see that there was another one-shot coming after this one, I actually squealed. If you were to make this into a novel or something, Iím just saying that I would definitely read it.

Author's Response: AH! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Neville is really adorable. And she's adorable. I spent most of this fic battling myself to not make them adorable together already. But the timing wasn't right, I think.

I was really surprised to learn that a lot of people don't know how to brew tea using loose leaf, so I thought I'd include how to do that here as my "recipe". I feel like this series is part love story and part cooking show :P

Ah, that's good! I thought I was being obvious, but I didn't want to be too obvious because then it's a case of why hasn't Hannah picked up on this already? I've written her to be perceptive, so that was the biggest struggle here. But yes! He comes to her because she's the bomb diggity to him!

Thanks for the feedback on that! I'm glad that it reads as a standalone though. Sometimes you're just not in the mood for the prequel and wanna jump right in, so I was trying to cater for that kind of mood a little bit.

Yes! I just posted it! If there's space in your queue I'll mosey on over to request a review! They're always so lovely and just make my day! I don't see this becoming a novel, but there might just be room for one more one-shot for these two...

Thanks so much for the wonderful review :)


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Review #22, by AlexFanAnd Just Like That: Chapter 2

18th January 2015:
Oh my God Snape is so creepy following Lily around like that!, he doesn't even have the courage to talk to her, he just follows her around. I'm pretty sure if that had been an unknown girl she would've run home with her keys in between her fingers. And even after everything that Lily has said, he still doesn't get it, she wants to get the job in the kitchen because she's earned it not because someone asked for her to have it, there's a difference.

I loved that part where she talks about giving Severus so many second chances that at some point it just becomes wishful thinking. Because it's totally true, a lot of people think that Lily should've given Severus another chance but the fact is that she probably had given him multiple chances to change but he just messed it up every time.

And I liked how Lily was slowly coming to terms with the fact that James had his not so great qualities as well as good qualities. A lot of the time when people hate James they completely forget about all of the good characteristics of his and just focus on the bad but I liked how Lily acknowledged both of them and is slowly coming around to the idea that despite his bad qualities, James can be incredibly kind and caring and he makes an effort to change and be a good person.

I really really really really love this story.

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Review #23, by AlexFanL'optimisme: WŁrttemberg

14th January 2015:
Personally, Gellert doesnít seem out of character to me, he sounds the same as he did in the previous chapters that were told in his point of view so I donít think you have anything to worry about there. He still has that tone of voice where it seems like heís making little jabs at Albus to try and get a reaction out of him with stuff like ďIíll probably go insane here and then youíll have that on your conscience.Ē (I canít believe Iím only noticing this now). I also like how you added yet another layer to Gellertís character by showing that this is a man that lives on being the center of attention.

Honestly, I like Gellert more than I like Albus. Gellert is more direct and sharp, he doesnít beat around the bush and heíll tell you whatís on his mind whether you want to hear or not, no matter who you are. I like that heís unapologetic about what he says and believes. I like how Gellert isnít modest, he knows exactly what he is capable of and how intelligent he is, just like Albus does, but unlike Albus, Gellert doesnít try to make what he can do any less than what it is. He wonít go around bragging about it but he wonít deny that heís brilliant and itís just really appealing how confident he is. Gellert is just my favourite character.

I thought there was definitely plot in the chapter, maybe it was a little slow in the beginning but you had to give some background so that the reader could understand what was going on and then it picked up and went at a steady pace that kept the chapter interesting. I personally thought it flowed really well, everything connected together really well and just in general, I would say this was really well written.

Author's Response: Hi there - thank you so much for stopping by again! :)

Thank you so much! I was so worried about that because this chapter felt very different to previous ones when I was writing it. Yeah, he's very bitterly scathing towards Albus in a way, even though Albus can't actually hear him or read it or anything, it's more a matter of principle. :P Yeah, I always thought of him as a sort of egocentric person - he thrives on attention, so being deprived of it isn't really good for him, in terms of himself.

Haha, really? Well, you're definitely the first :P (Apart from maybe Albus himself, lol) But yeah, Gellert is a lot less inclined to be sympathetic and cover things up if they're harsh than Albus is, though he's not any less likely to cover things for his own agenda. I really wanted him to be apologetic, too, so I'm so glad you like that, because to me it's a very important part of his character, and it distinguishes him from Voldemort, which I really wanted to do. Modesty is not a thing Gellert is really familiar with, or tries to be familiar with. It's a good thing and a bad thing, I think; it's not always something people appreciate, particularly given that he's not inclined to overestimating other people, either. I'm just so happy you like him, though, because I really wanted to make him more than just evil, you know? :)

I really tried to get the plot moving along a bit for Gellert in this one, especially given that now he has the Elder Wand... he needs the revolution! :P Yeah, I tried to cut down the background stuff, but I wasn't sure it would really make sense shorter, hence the length. I'm so glad you didn't think it dragged too much, though - I'm always so nervous about that! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely - it was so great to get, as always! :)

Aph xx


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Review #24, by AlexFanThe Rose Petal Beach: The Rose Petal Beach

14th January 2015:
Oh God, the minute that I saw stalker mentioned I was already getting the creeps for the story. Iíve just started reading and I already feel like Iím being watched. Okay, at the moment, I think that Scorpius is the boyfriend. Iím saying Scorpius is the boyfriend because Sean is a lot more aggressive than Scorpius is and he seems to insist that he and Rose are back together. I would expect him to be the stalker out of the two boys. That being said, Sean could also be the boyfriend because Rose is too afraid to tell him that she and Sean are over because of what heíll do.

Either way, this is actually terrifying me, I just want to take Rose and hide her in like a cave just so that sheíll be safe from her stalker. I thought it wouldíve been easy to figure out who was the stalker but itís really not considering that Sean and Scorpius have pretty much copied each other in just about everything, even their names start with the same letter!

I can tell you one thing, youíre doing a very good job of confusing the living daylights out of me. I thought I had this figured out but everything keeps changing and details are beginning to throw me off Iím questioning everything now.

I thought for sure Scorpius was the boyfriend but now Iím no longer sure, Iím beginning to think that he was the stalker, I mean what else could Rose mean by, ďSee what youíre doing to me, Scorpius?Ē And why would she be unhappy to see him if he was her boyfriend, and most importantly, why would he have followed her to the hospital if he was her boyfriend! EVERYTHING THAT I KNOW HAS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN WHAT IS RIGHT ANYMORE?!

Scorpius is the stalker, right? Iím not wrong, am I? Iím not just imagining all of this stuff, Scorpius is the stalker and Sean was the boyfriend, right (although he seems kind of violent to be perfectly honest with you). What if both Sean and Scorpius were the stalker (now Iím just grasping at straws here).

The suspense is killing me. I'm going to be stuck awake at night trying to figure this out now.

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Review #25, by AlexFanInfatuation: Chapter 7: RIA

13th January 2015:
Ivy makes me so mad! She can't just go around playing with people's feelings like this just because she doesn't get her way. Oo she just makes me so mad! Someone needs to teach this girl a lesson that she can't go around bullying people just to get what she wants.

Poor Willow is getting her heart broken and all she wanted was to make sure that Ivy didn't hurt her or Prav and look at what happens instead. And Prav is being such a jerk! Just because his ego is a little bit hurt now he's acting like a jerk just to hurt Ivy and make himself feel better. Rejection sucks I get that but he's acting like a spoiler child, he needs to smarten up and get with the program!

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