Reading Reviews From Member: AlexFan
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Review #1, by AlexFanThe Monopoly on Honour: When Love absents itself

26th August 2014:
Sorry for taking so long with this but I'm here.

I don't know if I mentioned this last time but the more of this story that I read the more interested I am in what happens to these characters. I think you picked a great time after the war to write about.

I liked how you showed the repercussion on Lucius's marriage because of the decisions that he not only made for himself but for the rest of his family. Because you can see that Lucius cares about his family but the fact that he seems to be worrying about humiliation more than anything else might give Narcissa the impression that he doesn't care and that he still isn't getting the message. It was really interesting seeing a man like Lucius, someone who is always in control of his emotions lose it and resort to tears because he does not know how to fix the mess that he has made.

All of this time and effort that he put into trying to give his family the best life that he could and this is what it all lead to. That would be hard for anyone to deal with.

I feel like had it been anyone else in these characters situation, they would've accepted their fate and cherished the time that they had left but that's not in the Malfoy or Greengrass blood. You go down fighting even if you know that you're a lost cause.

I like how you're building up to the hearing. Showing the readers how different characters are dealing with their current problem in their own way but still reminding the reader that this trial is going to happen by adding in more and more details about what each characters trial is most likely going to be like and what the sentences for those already convicted were and what the Malfoys can expect when it's their turn. The more you talk about the hearing, the more excited I get for it.

I think you're pacing it's good, it's slow but for a story like this I feel like it needs to be slow in order for the reader to really process and understand what's going on with everyone. It adds to the serious tone of the story.

Author's Response: Don't worry about taking your time - I completely understand :) we all have RL.

Gosh, thank you so much :) That is exactly what I was going for, so thank you.

On Lucius - I was a bit mean, wasn't I? But I quite honestly just could not resist, and hopefully it was a realistic conversation. I really enjoyed writing that scene - something about taking Lucius and Narcissa to some sort of breaking point.

Oh, the Malfoys - Lucius at least - have every intention of going down with a great a bang as possible. Lost cause - yes, in way. Simply because I absolutely cannot see the Malfoys blindly accepting and fitting into the Post-War world. Not because they are necessarily evil or anything like that, but simply because I think that too much has happened.

Ah, the trials. And yes, the idea was to keep the trials at the forefront as much as possible, but sort of in constantly in the background as well, if that makes sense? I think I sort of see the trials as a sword of damocles hanging over their heads, as something in their futures that comes inexorably closer, and that they cannot escape. It reminds me of a Pippin quote from Lord of the Rings, 'I don't want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse.' (I've been reading and watching waaay too much Tolkien lately :p ) I'm also very excited about the trials.

I'm glad you think I have the appropriate pacing, so thank you! I suppose it's something I am quite worried about, wondering whether I'm keeping the momentum going in each chapter.

Thank you :)

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Review #2, by AlexFanYear Five: Behind the Mirror

26th August 2014:
Sorry I took so long with this but weekends are never good times for reviewing apparently so I'm here today!

I'm so glad that I haven't been totally useless with my reviews, I feel quite proud of myself right now actually.

I liked the more light-hearted feel of this chapter as opposed to what seemed to be brooding from all of the characters in the previous chapters.

I liked how you showed that not everyone was as into house rivalry as Harry and his friends seemed to be. The party showed that whatever problems the houses had with each other everyone was capable of getting over them and getting along and having fun together. It was kind of sad that Tristan was the only Slytherin there because it's kind of like no matter what everyone seems to still have problems with Slytherins but at the same time, it doesn't seem as if Tristan actually likes any of the people from his house, so it was best that no one from Slytherin was there.

I especially loved how Tristan and Oliver seemed to be getting along. Not everyone would be able to just forgive and forget something that Oliver did but he and Tristan seemed to have moved on from that little spit of theirs. Then again, they could've just been drunk so who knows.

I also liked how you showed what different spells were used for by different people. Tristan and his friends do recreational spells because it's fun and for other reasons whereas people like Siobhan do it to help keep them going during crunch time and to keep themselves focussed.

I was so happy to see the discovery of the kitchens because it adds some background to how Fred and George learned about the place (although you'd think they would've figured out what with the map and all). But I was very excited to see that.

Again, sorry for the delay with this!

Author's Response: Hello again! Thank you so much for the reviewww!!!

Yeah, I ended up adding a LOT of fluff to this chapter last minute (DANCE OFF?!?!?!), because I try to inject a little light-heartedness into all the angst as much as I can :)

I feel like ALL the Slytherins aren't bad--but Tristan just kind of writes them all off because of the bad apples. Then of course, no one would bother to invite any :(

And yeah, after seeing parties get blown up and become ragers when I was this age--I figured tons of people from different houses would end up just showing up.

I am definitely FAR from disliking Wood; their little conflict was a lot to do with prejudices and misunderstandings, so I wanted to give them both the opportunity to work past it. And yeah, it helped that he was drunk!

The same way I thought of magic being abused recreationally, I realized people might use it for studying. Definitely a common occurrence at my college, unfortunately. (I mean, not MAGIC, obviously, but medication).

And AH! The map! You raise a GREAT point! Although, I might be able to explain it away: once when Harry used the map, it sort of gave him the password. But for the kitchens, you have to tickle the pear--and since (in canon), people are labeled dots, then there's no way to indicate "TICKLE PEAR".

Thank you so much for the review, and no worries about delays!


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Review #3, by AlexFanYear Five: Three Times Charmed

21st August 2014:
Oh goodness, I feel so bad for Isobel because she seems like such a nice person and I hate that she's so insecure about herself. She sounds like she's absolutely gorgeous. She's curvy, pretty, and incredibly intelligent, Isobel has it all. But the insecurity is what makes her more believable because the majority of girls out there are insecure about how they look even if there's nothing to worry about.

But while Isobel seems to be put together at all times of the day, Laurel is the exact opposite (I think Laurel needs to talk to somebody, because not wearing make-up is her choice but not being able to shower and a bad sleeping pattern, something is wrong here. She should have time to do basic things).

Since Isobel seems to have more control over herself than a lot of her other friends, I think it would take everyone the longest to figure out that she has a problem because she'd hide her feelings from everyone. I just feel like I really relate to Isobel because I know that feeling that she seems to has where she needs to have control of her surroundings and being very reserved about her feelings.

I don't know about you, but cassette tapes can be hella dangerous. My mom would have cassette tapes lying around when I was little and I'd just pulled the plastic out of it for fun and you could strangle someone with that stuff.

Laurels' cheering habit has already become a problem, it seems like this girl is going to crash and burn if she doesn't watch herself or get some help. I feel like if she doesn't do something soon about her Cheering Charm problem, things are going to become too much for her and she's going to hit a wall.

I like how even Tristan and his friends know when the time to smoke is and when it's time to study. I actually admire their ability to push aside their daily activities and focus on their work.

(Ah yes, the ancient Hufflepuff secret of having the kitchens right outside of your common room. On a side note, I actually really admire how much you've connected all of your characters into the story. You picked up the most obscure references and names and turned them into something relevant to your story.)

Author's Response: Yes! Exactly! Thank you! That was something I really wanted to explore here--because you're right, insecurity is a shame, and often, a waste. At the same time, it's far, far too common.

I liked the idea of Isobel and Laurel being best friends who contrasted one another, but how it can go too far. I also think that Laurel's reliance on Isobel has kind of let her get out of control, because she knows Isobel will pick up the pieces.

And you are spot on about Isobel! For each of the characters, I pulled something from my own personality, so that I could write it realistically (and a lot of attributes were inspired by my friends at this age)--so I'm really glad you can relate, and that it seems true to life!

Haha, casette tapes--good point. Then again, you could always use shoelaces or something to the same end, so I doubt Filch would be vexed in that regard ;)

And most definitely--Laurel's behavior is FAR from sustainable.

You're the first person to comment on their ability to prioritize. Something I get into later, is how it's very often the cleverest of kids who end up going down these dangerous paths. Partially because they question the status quo, and choose to live outside of it. While that's admirable on its own, being young is to generate many ideas, and they are necessarily only partially formed. It's easy to lose sight of important lines one might be crossing :(

Hahaha, your note on "Ancient Hufflepuff Wisdom" made me lol. And THANK YOU--before I even started writing, I found canon affiliations for all of the characters :D. I'm glad you appreciated!

You are wonderful, this was such a thoughtful review, and it was so encouraging to read!

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Review #4, by AlexFanBertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans: Introduction

21st August 2014:
I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! This was such a different start to a story featuring Rose and it was a breath of fresh air really to read something like this. I love how you started with what happened in the end and then went back to the beginning to tell the story that lead up to Rose crying while wearing a white dress (although to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure if she was crashing her cousins wedding in the beginning or if something else was going on).

I liked your version of Rose because I've gotten so used to seeing her as this extremely intelligent, sometimes uptight girl who has got her life figured out and your version was different and relatable (not that the other version of Rose wasn't but this one where she doesn't know what to do with her life is something that a lot of people her age are faced and struggle with). I liked how she was still figuring out what she was trying to do but since Rose seems to like Honeydukes so much, she could look into something to do with making candy? She could make up her own sweet and then take a sample to a company and try to get them to mass produce it for her? But basically, I like that Rose sticks out like a sore thumb among the rest of her family members.

The pace for this chapter was quite fast but I think it worked really well for your introduction, because you set up Rose's situation and the basics for the relationships in the rest of the story so that the reader has some idea of what's going to happen but it didn't go by so fast that it felt choppy and disconnected. I feel like I already know Rose a little bit just from this beginning and that I can connect with her on some level about things.

All in all, I personally think you've got a great start to your story here and I'm actually really excited to see where the rest of this goes to be honest with you (not even joking, I'm bouncing in my seat)!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!
I'm really glad you like Rose, and yes a lot of people do suffer with not knowing what to do in life (All of my friends and myself included!)! That sounds like a really awesome idea for her future actually! Not exactly what I was planning, but we'll see where the story takes me :)

I'm also very glad the pacing was alright. When writing this intro it was quite hard trying to figure out the line between too fast and information overload!

Thank you so much for the amazing review!!


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Review #5, by AlexFanYear Five: Loose Lips

20th August 2014:
When you mentioned that you wanted to see what I would pick up I got all nervous and started thinking, "oh no, this is some reading comprehension test, I am not prepared for this!" (I was never any good at reading comprehension).

I never really thought about Professor Sprout substituting as the school guidance councillor but I can see it happening, she seems as good a choice as any of the other teachers (except for Quirrel, that is). And I think that Tristan really should go and talk to her about his problems. I'm no doctor but it seems to me as if he has some sort of depression. I think Laurel needs to talk about what's going on in her life as well because she seems to be having some problems also.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO MAD AT OLIVER WOOD IN MY LIFE HE IS SUCH A JERK FACE OH MY GOD. He always seemed like such a nice person to me but it never even occurred to me that Oliver could be prejudiced in any way. But I see that that was a stupid assumption to make. It wasn't only the pureblood elitists that were prejudiced, other people could've been prejudiced as well. I hate how Tristan didn't defend himself, but Oliver had backup and Tristan didn't so he would've lost in a fight anyway (unless he was really good at Defense). I just got so mad at Oliver though for being such a bully and the shaming! Like no, Oliver, stop that right now. YOU SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS.

Gryffindors can be especially smug and from this new portrayal of Gryffindors, I can see where the dislike is coming from but it seems like some of the Slytherins are even worse than some of the Gryffindors. I mean really, who sits around talking about lineage, sure people discuss family but it's never usually used as a way of figuring out someone's worth. But at least Tristan isn't afraid to tell the Slytherins to shut up.

I like Tristan but I pity him more than anything and I just want to wrap him up in a hug and protect him from the world. He seems like such a good kid, who maybe made some not so great choices, and I just want to make him feel better.

Author's Response: Aha! No worried, this review is great!

Yeah, I figured Hogwarts must have SOME kind of guidance situation (I mean, with 500 to 1000 teenagers, you'd have to). I chose Sprout because she's not usually given very much play, and the "guidance counselor" role was somewhat inspired by Tessa Wall in the Casual Vacancy (who bears a passing resemblance to Sprout).

And yeah, I also put in a guidance counselor because they NEED ONE.

I WAS SO HAPPY TO READ YOUR ALL CAPS REPLY TO WOOD! I always liked Wood, so I thought it was interesting the posit him as a jerk face. I mean, in canon he can be a little manic, and overenthusiastic at times, so I tried to really draw out those qualities here. I'm still a Wood fan, but you know, teenagers make mistakes/can be jerks from time to time (plus, I feel like his personality would bristle my OCs).

I'm a massive Gryffindor, and they were SO important in canon, that I liked the idea of looking at them another way. Obviously, the perspective the characters have is slightly biased, but then again, canon perspectives of Slytherin or Hufflepuff were too!

And yeah, Tristan's Housemates are pretty nasty. We only got to see into Slytherin lair once in canon, so I wanted to imagine in what ways it would be horrible for Tristan to have to live there :(

That is EXACTLY how one should feel about Tristan! So glad for that! I alternate between wanting to hug him, and wanting to slap him.

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this review!


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Review #6, by AlexFanRoar: One of Us

19th August 2014:
Hey there, dropping by with your requested review.

First off, I like your character Kat, she seems to be a likeable character and if I got to know her a lot more as the story went on, I have a feeling that I would be able to relate to her. She seems like the kind of girl that I would want to be friends with.

Second of all, James. I see that you've fallen into the old fanon cliche where James does nothing except ask Lily out 24/7 (and apparently stalks her considering he actually followed her to the Black Lake) and to be perfectly honest with you, that isn't really canon James. In the books we only ever see him ask Lily out a total of one time, and considering that he was a part of a group of boys that held the high opinions of many of their peers and most likely their teachers as well, I don't think that James would let his pride get stomped on by Lily over and over again. There's also the fact that since James is so popular with most of the student body, he most likely didn't spend all of his time pining after Lily and probably went out on quite a few dates, just like Lily probably did. And besides, having James constantly asking out Lily just makes him seem creepy and annoying. He's supposed to be one of the most intelligent people in his year along with Sirius and I'd like to think that James would know that harassing Lily with declarations of love wouldn't be the way to win her affections.

That being said, I don't mean that I hate your version of James, he seems to have a lot of potential in terms of maturing into a responsible adult, and perhaps could even take an interest in girls other than Lily just so that he can see how serious his feelings are for her. I'm actually very interested in seeing the events that result in him growing up.

While I do enjoy your Lily for the most part (I can never hate Lily), I feel like she falls into the old James/Lily cliche a little bit as well. Lily is supposed to be this bright, incredibly kind witch and it seems like she has a bit of an overreaction to James asking her out. It's never stated that Lily actually hates James (just as it's never stated that James asked her out all the time), she just doesn't have a problem with calling him out when he's being a bully. I feel like she wouldn't be the type of person to snap at someone just for asking her out on a date, a little annoyed and tired, sure but not outright snap at them like she did to James. She could maybe develop some sort of calming technique if James does keep asking her out so that she doesn't snap at him so much and to control her anger.

And I do understand where she's coming from with her crush, it's tough to have feelings for someone who is involved with someone else or doesn't even about your existence. Everyone deals with rejection in a different way and I'm interested in seeing how Lily handles her crush and how she moves on from it.

For a first fanfiction this was actually pretty well written, you had good description going on and your dialogue flowed pretty smoothly. I like how you introduced the characters in a way that wasn't totally overwhelming and it kept my interest. I got to know a little bit about what these people were like through their actions and the way that they interacted with each other which was also great. I would definitely be interested in finding out more about what happens with all of the characters in the story and see how they progress. I really hope that you don't forget about Peter either, it happens in a lot of fanfictions, the poor guy just seems to be forgotten and pushed to the side. Ignoring the fact that he was a traitor in the end, there was a reason that he was a part of the Marauders.

And I know I was a little bit harsh about James and Lily but I just get very passionate about the characterization of the two of them, especially as of late because so many people have pointed out all of the cliches in the fandom that aren't actually canon.

But I hope I helped out at least in some way (and feel free to come back for more reviews if I haven't scared you off with this mammoth review).

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this wonderful review!

Your comments about both James and Lily were spot on, and I'™ll definitely keep them in mind as I write future chapters, maybe even touch up this chapter in a little bit. I am very aware of the dangerous Lily/James cliche, and that you called me out on stumbling into that hole is great because now I'll be more vigilant when I'™m writing those characters.

I do believe that some stories have a very distinct 'two-sided James'™, the asking-lily-out-all-the-time side and the I'm-actually-an-incredible-human-being-that'€™s-a-dream-guy side. I think these two sides should meld into one person with different moods that are each slightly flawed. In other words, an actual human! Whoa! For example, he'€™s super 'annoying'€™, super 'immature'€™ etc. (at least that'€™s how Lily sees it) in the first half of the story, and then suddenly he's AMAZING and everything about him is kind, collected and courageous. That€'s SO unrealistic. I think James should be all of those things together, with him growing as a person so that he changes gently into someone than Lily would want to date and later, marry. Just because I think that, though, doesn'€™t mean I wrote it. Cue me furiously rethinking life, the universe and everything.

The same things goes for Lily. She is smart, and kind and really a good person. And even if she has flaws, trying to make her not a Mary-Sue and also not a complete terror is difficult. She is studious, and does have generosity in her blood, even to people that greatly annoy her, like James, and she handles a lot of things really expertly because she has TONS of empathy for everyone and everything. Something that is inspiring and impressive. Lily has a path of growth ahead, so of course she can'€™t be perfect at the start (although she shouldn't be at the end either), but she can'€™t be a stupid, grouchy, angsty mess either. And that crush on Tim? That'€™s going places. Definitely.

And as for Peter? He's not forgotten. It'€™s hard not to think of him as a Death Eater from the word go, but he's going to get his own chapter and his own fight and story line. Leaving him out would be just plain rude.

This fan fiction is probably something I will cringe at in a few years, but at the moment I'€™m kind of figuring out my style as I go along. Sometimes it might be a tangled mess, but I'€™m going to work with it. I guarantee edits along the way, probably some blips, but with people like you encouraging and critiquing me, I think this story will go a lot smoother than it would have otherwise!

Again, thanks for the incredible review.

Much, much love,

(oh and sorry for the weird symbols, computer malfunction!)

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Review #7, by AlexFanYear Five: R

19th August 2014:

But anyway, quickly gonna type up what I had before. I think Emily and Tristan are a lot closer than the rest of their friends since they stayed up talking to each other for so long. I always wondered whether students used their owls as a form of instant messaging so I was glad to see that someone else had the same thought as me.

Emily does make a very good point though, if the Slytherins are under the lake then how on earth is Tristan's owl getting out of his dormitory? Or would the dorms be above water since there would need to be some sunlight coming into the room (and the more I think about this the more it makes sense that it would be this way).

Isobel is definitely the smarter one out of the lot of them. She seems to have more control over the drugs that she intakes and when as opposed to Laurel who is in desperate need of them (I KNEW THAT CHEER CHARM WAS GOING TO LEAD TO AN ADDICTION).

Oh, and just something that I thought I'd point out (and I'm aware that I'm being nitpicky about this but I'm a canon stickler for about 99.9% of things) but students got their time tables the day after the Opening Feast or Ceremony or whatever you want it to call it.

Also, I read all of your endnotes which was quite a feat for me because I don't always read author notes or any form of notes at the end of chapters but I'm glad I did this time because it provided me with a lot of information.

Author's Response: I hate when that happens! I used to spend so much time writing and responding to reviews that my session would time out and they'd all get lost!

I feel like, before I had text messaging (I was like 18 before my phone finally caught up--I'm a luddite), sometimes emails would turn into sort of rapid back-and-forth thing. I wanted to recreate how that comes to be.

Haha, the owl-and-the-lake. So I knew Slytherin lair was there, so I HAD to mention it (because: canon), but it's also kind of a joke, because I never DO explain how it happens (MAGIC). Perhaps the dorm windows are above the water-line?

As the story progresses, you'll learn that they're each actually quite clever, but Isobel is the most Ravenclaw-y (right now). She's definitely the most disciplined. And yeah, I figure if you have wands around all the time, and wands can make you happy, at least a FEW people will start doing that a lot, but then everything must have a downside. TEEN ANGST+WANDS=TROUBLE.

AND THANK YOU for the note about timetables! I will definitely revise that!!

I have the terrible habit of writing long and rambling end notes, it's just I did SO MUCH research, and not all of it ended up in the story (I have really detailed backstories and family histories for all the characters, plus a WEIRD amount of research into muggle technologies of the early nineties/late eighties).

Thank you for the review! So sorry for the troubles!

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Review #8, by AlexFanCrossing the Borderline: Albus: The Confrontations

18th August 2014:
I KNEW IT I KNEW SOMEONE WOULD CATCH ONTO THEIR AWKWARDNESS, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! But now that it's written in the school newspaper it's going to attract even more attention to Aaliyah and Albus. They're going to have to step up their game.

OOOoOOooOO DRAMA! There is tension everywhere and obviously there were going to be people that would be unhappy about the whole thing but I'm especially interested in what's going on with Rose here (maybe you mentioned this in the chapters before in which case I'm going to go back and read them again just to make sure I'm caught up). Am I detecting a little bit of jealous in Rose, is this what I'm seeing? Or is Rose mad about what went on between Aaliyah and Fred and that's why she hates her (because it kind of sounds like she's grasping at straws when she accused Aaliyah of cheating on her OWLs).

I loved the interaction between Aaliyah, Albus, and Scorpius during that little list bit because they seemed at ease for the first time in a while. I could've believed that Al and Aa were dating in that moment.

As much as I pity Fred, it's annoying me how he's treating Aaliyah like a piece of meat (and Albus as well). Like, if she wanted to be with Fred, she could've done that before she started going out with Albus. Clearly Aaliyah doesn't want to be with him so I highly doubt that even if she wasn't dating Albus she'd take Fred back. LET THE GIRL DECIDE GUYS!

I'm going to go back and refresh my memory of the first two chapters so that I can be fully prepared for this story.

Author's Response: Yes, someone did catch on. YOU WERE RIGHT, YAY.

Rose is a complicated character. Actually most of the characters here are complicated lol. She isn't jealous, but she doesn't like Aaliyah... at all. She basically hates her which will be a problem for Albus and Aaliyah later on. That's why she accuses her of cheating on her OWLs even though Aaliyah didn't. More of Aaliyah and her history is going to be shown from time to time in the story.

Scorpius is one of my favorites out of all of the characters so I always like to write him. Albus and Aaliyah are getting better at this whole dating thing (finally)... soon it'll be a natural skill.

Fred... I find it really hard to like him for some reason. Maybe it's just the way I wrote him haha. Albus and Fred probably should stop treating her as a piece of meat and they hopefully will soon (okay... maybe not Fred). Albus' protectiveness of her kind of sparked in this chapter and will continue to grow from here.

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review. I had the BEST time reading it! I love it when the readers understand the story and can understand the characters to a point. THANKS again, Grace!!


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Review #9, by AlexFanThe New Pride of Portree: An Off Day

18th August 2014:
The Review Battle gave me a good reason to read this a week before I wanted to.

Fitz can't seem to catch a break. I mean, of course he was never going to get back to full range, and eighty percent is pretty damn good considering but at the same time it must've been hard to hear anyway. I think Fitz needs to find some other outlet for his anger instead of letting it out on his team when they don't deserve it. The rumour about Ballycastle seems like it could be good if it ended up being true. I mean, it would mean long distance but I'm sure that Molly and Fitz could manage, I've just gotten used to the two of them working together that I'm a little sad at the idea that they might not be anymore. Speaking of Fitz and Molly, it looks like there may be some good news in terms of their relationship as well. Meghan might end up letting them be open about the fact that Fitz and Molly are dating (she ships them just as much as the rest of the team does let's face it).

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Review #10, by AlexFanYear Five: The Hex Head Express

18th August 2014:
Coming back for chapter 2! Sorry for taking so long but I had no idea my weekends would be so busy this month. Anyway!

I'm usually not a fan of alternating point of views in a story because more often than not, I can never tell which voice it is from the cast of characters. That being said, I have a feeling that this might not be one of those stories because Isobel sounds a little bit different than Tristan.

I was a little confused when you said that Laurel had cheered up, I wasn't sure if it was some kind of wizard drug so I was glad that you clarified that it was a Cheering Charm that they were using. Honestly, Cheering Charms seem to be the least dangerous thing that Tristan (and the rest of his friends as well) have probably done. I can see where the danger of using the Cheering Charm one too many times would be though, you'd end up becoming entirely dependent on a spell to keep you happy. It's never occurred to me how some spells could end up being turned into a kind of drug for some people.

(I love how Fred and George made puns about it though, that was pretty funny). I've always enjoyed reading fics where students give their opinions about Harry Potter because you never really got to see that in the books so I always love reading about what other students besides Gryffindor's might have thought of Harry (DON'T YOU GO INSULTING RON FRED!)

It's so weird to think that the Weasley twins might have done drugs while at Hogwarts (it's really weird to imagine anyone doing drugs at Hogwarts considering the amount of stuff that happened during Harry's time but then again, not everyone came close to dying every year . . . )

I like Isobel a lot more than I like Tristan, she's a lot more reserved than him, I can see that but I think that's what I like about her, I find her more relatable. I don't know, I just really like Isobel from what I've read so far.

And I loved that part where you added in Hermione, I love the little bits and pieces that you slip into the story to remind the reader that this is in fact taking place at the same time that Harry is attending Hogwarts, or going to at least.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! And no worries!

Yes, I wanted my rotating POVs to be VERY clear, so I always capitalize their names when introducing their perspectives. And I'm glad you found the voices distinct, because I worked SUPER hard on that (Tristan's has a lot of long blocks of text, Isobel uses a lot of parentheses, and so on).

Ah! Recreational Magic! An idea I find *very* interesting and *very* plausible. And yes, there is most definitely a downside to it ;) I figure that a lot of teenagers go through an experimental phase, so at least a few of them would mess around with magic as a mild-altering experience.

The Weasley's smoking was paying service to some areas of the fandom that INSIST that they seem like stoners. I think that's going a bit far, but certainly I can imagine them indulging a bit when they were young. (Again: teenagers).

And yeah, examining how other students feel about the famous Harry Potter was a really fun thing for me. Harry's wild adventures are something of a running gag in this story :)

I'm glad you like Isobel! Each of them is very different, and yes, Tristan just begs to get slapped on several occasions. But hopefully you'll develop some sympathy for him.

Aha, yes, there is definitely LOTS of canon nods--and the story will continue to reference events in PS!

Thank you for the review!


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Review #11, by AlexFanClash: Explore

18th August 2014:
The beginning of this was so NORMAL. It was just Rose and Albus sitting around and bantering with each other. Sure they were in a dead version of the Burrow but that's like a celebration by them at this point. I love how Rose is freaking out about the fact that it would take weeks to translate the runes and Albus is just like "God Rose it's like you know nothing about me."

I thought it was really nice that Albus got Rose a gift for her birthday, and it was nice to see a glimpse of some emotion from him as well. Albus may be stone cold about 99.9% of the time but in the moment when he thought Rose didn't like what he'd given her, he let himself actually be bothered by the fact that she wouldn't like his gift (although I'd be more inclined to believe that he was annoyed over the fact that he put in so much effort and Rose didn't even want his potion).

By this point in the story it's obvious that Albus likes control (it was obvious even before now) but I get the feeling that even if he doesn't have control over a situation, it isn't going to stop him from poking at whatever he's investigating. The lack of control he has will most likely annoy Albus but it would probably make him even more determined to understand what is proving difficult instead of abandoning it. It's like he won't stop until he DOES have control over something that can't be controlled.

Something that's always bothered me about Albus is his possessiveness when it comes to Rose. Because it's not cute, it's creepy, and despite the fact that Rose has more than pointed out to him that she is a human being and not an object, it seems like Albus doesn't quite seem to get it. He's fine with Rose doing whatever she wants as long as it's on her own but the minute that someone else, like Scorpius, gets involved it's like Albus feels as if it's his duty to keep people away from Rose. And I hate how Rose has just come to accept that this isn't going to change, because I know Albus isn't going to change, but it's just sad how she's just come to accept the fact that the relationship that she has with Albus is probably always going to be unhealthy.

There's really really small things that Albus does occasionally that shows that he cares about Rose but at the same time it doesn't change the fact that the two of them have a really dysfunctional relationship AND JUST AGH I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP OKAY.

One thing that I really love about your writing is that I can immediately tell when the point of view of the story had changed. Like when the story had switched to Walker's point of view, I could tell from the first few words that the story had stopped temporarily and I'd just like to congratulate you on that because I've come across very few authors that can pull off different points of views in a story well (it's actually a huge pet peeve of mine).

Hugo's abduction, that can't be good (although that's not saying much since abductions are generally bad things).

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Review #12, by AlexFanThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: Gimme Little Sign

14th August 2014:
I knew it, I knew that Arthur and Molly got distracted by each other in class (and I was right about the muggle gushing as well, it just happened a lot sooner than I thought it would've). It's cute how Arthur is trying to act all cool around Molly when he really doesn't need to because she's already interested in him.

I couldn't help but giggle when he ran to Gryffindor Tower cheering all the way. I just knew he would and I could picture him jumping around as he went. I think you've captured canon Arthur perfectly, you can still see the sweetness and the eagerness that he has in his older self in this younger version of yours. I just have Molly/Arthur feels going on right now that I was not prepared for.

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Review #13, by AlexFanThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: I Can't Help Myself

14th August 2014:
Arthur is hopeless (HOPELESSLY IN LOVE). And to think that a love potion would be the thing that finally got Molly to notice Arthur and start paying more attention to him. I really loved how Thad and Arthur kept silent about what happened instead of telling everyone about it. Not many people would've done the same in their situation.

Arthur has just become so in tune to Molly, I bet he would notice that she wasn't in the Great Hall without looking too hard. He's so easily distracted by her, I wonder how he gets anything done in class when she's around honestly. ARTHURS OBSESSION WITH ALL THINGS MUGGLE YES. I can just imagine him gushing to Molly about everything that he finds fascinating about muggles and her listening intently and loving how passionate he gets about the subject.

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Review #14, by AlexFanThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: Red Rubber Ball

14th August 2014:
I just realised while reading this that Molly's punishment for the love potion was really quite small. It makes you think that stuff like this isn't really as rare as you'd think it would be. Students drugging students with love potions seems to happen often enough that the consequences for it are one detention, your Head of House hearing about it and informing your parents of what you did.

You'd think Molly would be a little bit hungover the fact that she just got turned down by the boy she likes but she seems to be moving on pretty fast to Arthur. And poor Arthur, having to hear that the girl he fancied was actually trying to slip a love potion to his friend, that must've stung a little.

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Review #15, by AlexFanThe Unsinkable Molly Prewett: You Can't Hurry Love

14th August 2014:
Wow, Molly really doesn't beat around the bush, does she. Usually when a girl says that she's going to do something in order to get noticed by the object of her affections it usually doesn't mean, 'I'm going to slip him love potion.' And of course the plan didn't go well. It's like Karma is sitting on a chair with a drink, watching Molly and thinking, 'it's cute how you thought that would end well.'

And then Arthur and Thaddeus got all territorial over Molly (well, mostly Thaddeus really). At least Arthur realised that Molly wasn't a piece of meat and that she was the one who had to make the decision about which one of them she would choose. I think you could tell a lot about Arthur and Thaddeus's character just by the way that they were holding Molly's hands. Thaddeus got a little bit more possessive while Arthur was still gentle despite his growing temper.

I love how Arthur backed down when Molly chose Thaddeus. He didn't make a fuss about her decision but simply walked away because he just wanted Molly to be happy.

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Review #16, by AlexFanYear Five: Dozens of Little Televisions (1991)

13th August 2014:
I've seen this story around the most recent page and it's had great reviews from authors I trust so I added it to my reading list (but it's unfortunately at the bottom of the pile) so I'm really happy that you requested.

I can certainly see what everyone is talking about, you've certainly started your story off in an interesting way what with this Sophie character accidentally finding out about magic and all. I like how I got to know Tristan despite the fact that my impression of him was being given by someone else. I've got an idea in my head of what kind of a guy he is now so I feel like I should be able to expect some things of him as a character.

Another thing I liked was how you didn't make Tristan devastatingly handsome or tall like is usually the norm in fanfiction. He's quite average-looking by the sounds of it but that still doesn't stop the ladies (apparently). I can definitely see why he liked Sophie considering everyone else seems to really enjoy picking into his life (it was kind of sad considering she really didn't seem interested in him after their little adventure).

I found it kind of weird how totally okay Tristan's parents were with everything that happened to be honest. I mean, obviously they can't do much to him since Tristan is going off to school pretty soon, not to mention the fact that it doesn't sound like he has many mates so it's not like they're keeping him from anyone, but I felt like they should've been more worried.

I mean, I think they should've had at least some kind of talk with Tristan about what happened or something. Instead they just let him lock himself in his room with drugs. I know that if I had done what he did my parents would've given me a stern talk to that's for sure. Am I right in assuming that Tristan maybe doesn't have the best relationship with his parents and that they don't really talk to each other?

But anyway, I loved the first chapter (and feel free to come back for the rest of them).

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much! That means a lot to me to hear!

And thank you for the note on Tristan's appearance! Yes, I wanted all of my characters to be realistic teenagers, and I actually think I benefited a lot by choosing faceclaims. I wrote this whole thing out, and then really carefully thought about who to choose for the images, and then went back and edited the story with those actors in mind (which also helped the dialog, because I could tell if something wasn't realistic if I couldn't imagine the actors saying it). Anyway, I chose Craig Roberts for Tristan because he often plays dark or moody characters, and while he isn't traditionally handsome, he has a *quality* (I have a TOTAL fictional-character crush on his character in Skins:Fire ;) )

Thank you for the note on the parents! I've gotten a lot of really helpful reviews recently on that point, and also realized that the ending is a bit rushed. Their nonchalance about his sneaking a girl in definitely has REASONS that get explored later, but you're right--it doesn't really make sense here. After reading your review, I TOTALLY got a really good idea for something to add to this chapter that doesn't spoil anything, but does flesh out the ending. So ThankYouThankYouThankYou!!!

I will definitely rerequest!


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Review #17, by AlexFanThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: The Peculiar Childhood: A Prologue

13th August 2014:
I've seen this story around the most recent page but I never really looked into it until you requested the review.

First off, I like your main character. The thing that I like about her the most is the fact that she's not from England or North America but instead other parts of Europe. You don't usually get to see many other cultures in fanfiction so I was really excited when you mentioned Austria and her Austrian-German features. The one thing that I was surprised to learn was how advanced she was in the sciences. This girl must be really mathematically advanced, as well as incredibly advanced in all of the other subjects such as Languages (I would say English but I don't know how much English she spoke prior to moving to England). I hope that you go more into this as the story goes on, someone as smart as your main character is surely not going to have any trouble with the first year course curriculum and just speed through everything.

(I'm hoping that maybe as the story goes on we get to learn more about what kind of traditions your MC has and learn more about Austria.)

I liked how the MC's parents were scientists, that's not something that you see either, and how supportive they were of their daughter. I love how they didn't lock her up in some lab and conduct tests on her but instead just let their daughter figure things out for herself.

I think the pace was pretty good for a prologue. It was pretty fast but you still managed to set your character and their life well enough so that the reader has some connection to your MC and understands them a little bit.

In terms of humour, I can't give you much there because I personally felt like there wasn't much in your prologue but I'm sure that there's plenty more in your next chapters.

I think you've definitely got an interesting story going on here, I know I'd want to learn more about a girl who comes from a family of scientists (talk about two worlds clashing).

Author's Response: Thank you for your very helpful review! I'm glad you are interested.

Austrians are a very family-over-friends oriented culture. And work comes before play. Not to say that there is none of the latter, though. We will see this in other chapters. As for her magical studies, we will see how she does in chapter 2, actually. :)

There is more humour in the next chapters, yes.

And cultural differences will also be explored. Food, mindset, and a couple mentions of tradition, and all! Sadly, it probably won't be as much as you expect, but I have been trying to integrate more culture into the unreleased chapters upon your review. :D

I did want to create something many people have not seen before! I figured science would be an interesting place to start. I wasn't sure about how most people would react as I wrote the first couple of chapters, but all the positivity and the vocalisation of interest has been encouraging. Thank you!

As for her mathematical and linguistic skills. I don't get too much on the former. It's mostly biological and chemical stuff. For the latter, we will slowly start to realise her grasp of English as more dialogue is involved.

Again, thank you very much for taking the time to read and review. It means a lot to me. Thank you for your thoughts! :D


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Review #18, by AlexFanCrossing the Borderline: Aaliyah: The Reaction

11th August 2014:
Sorry for taking so long to get to this but I was busy, BUT ANYWAY!

It's been a really long time since I read this story and I had to check which chapters I had left reviews for and this was one that I hadn't so here I am.

I like the characterization of Aaliyah and Albus, because you can tell that they're two different people who don't know each other at all. They don't know how the other person thinks or their mannerisms or what they like and dislike so obviously faking a relationship is going to be hard. I think maybe if they took some time to just sit down and talk to each other so that they could have some idea of what they have in common, or stuff that they both hate and I think they would have an easier time of convincing everyone that they're dating. I don't know how no one else caught onto the awkwardness between the two of them honestly.

I think the plot is moving along at a good pace, you've introduced some more characters into the story but you've also kept it focussed on the main idea and moving that along. I was worried that the actual start of the fake relationship was going to be in the next chapter but I was really happy to find out that it happened in this one. I'm pretty excited to see what happens in the next few chapters.

In terms of flow, I felt like the chapter was a little bit choppy. I think the biggest thing that interrupted the flow was the interruptions that Aaliyah made about each character. Like when Seth showed up for example and she describes his appearance, that kind of pulled me out of the story a little bit because it didn't seem to fit into the scene very well. I think if you showed your reader the characters appearance through mannerisms (for example, running your hand through blond hair, or green eyes twinkling etc.) instead of just outright telling them what the person looks like then it would make everything blend together a lot better.

But other than that, great third chapter!

Author's Response: No, you didn't take long at all!

They are two different people and if they did actually take the time to get to know each other it would be much easier but they didn't. I think they were just a bit too stubborn to try to get to know each other beforehand. :P

I think the only reason no has caught their awkwardness is because they are still in shock. I mean Aaliyah and Albus was kinda sorta really unexpected. They'll work on their awkwardness though.

I actually liked my plot pacing in the beginning but then looking back I feel like it's been slow so I kind of started to freak haha. I'm quite relieved that you find that it's at a good pace and isn't going slug slow (which is pretty slow). And the reason I probably made it start in this chapter is because I got impatient, lol.

Thank you for pointing out the flow issue. I get what you mean and I'm going to try and look into it as soon as I have time.

Thanks for the review. I love the points you made and thank you for pointing out the choppy thing. I haven't read or even looked back at this chapter in a longgg time and I guess it's time to address some issues I hadn't then.

Thanks again!! I had a fantastic time reading this.


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Review #19, by AlexFanL'optimisme: Silence

11th August 2014:
Hey there, sorry for taking so long with your review but I was busy for most of last week, and then I was out for the weekend so I had no time to stop by with your review.

I remember reading this when you had it up before, and I enjoyed it then but I'm excited to see what the story is like now (I'll be writing this as I read).

I liked the beginning where you talked about words and silence. It seems like it's a little bit out of the blue but even though it seems a little bit random, you can tell that it's going to play a big part in the rest of the story.

I adore how you started off on August 29th, 1899. You set up the scene with Albus and Gellert and the two of them just being happy together and sleeping in each other's arms. They just sounded so cute together. I couldn't help but laugh when Albus commented on his jumping ability not being connected to his partial nudity. I could see him saying that in my head.

Seriously, I'm just dying of cuteness over here. Albus and Gellert wrapped up in a blanket, those sweet kisses that they gave each other just before Gellert left. I think the first person works very well for the story, it makes the memories seem more personal this way, I'm more connected to what's happening when the memories that Albus is thinking about are told this way.

I liked the sudden shift from happy memories to a more dark one, it showed the progression of Albus and Gellert's relationship. I thought the two of them were in character, particularly Albus. I think you nailed his thought process absolutely brilliantly.

I enjoyed the rewrite a lot more than the previous version.

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Review #20, by AlexFanThe New Pride of Portree: A Chance

11th August 2014:
It's party time! Mitz is canon once again and I am silently cheering so as not to wake my mum up. (I'm going to refer to Molly and Fitz as Mitz because it's just easier).

This chapter was just fluff, fluff everywhere and I was just dying from all of the cuteness. Molly finally put her feelings out on the table and the result was FAR from negative. But hey, at least Mitz are willing to give it a go now and really try and see where their relationship goes (I hope nothing horrible happens).

I think that Mitz should definitely talk to McCormack about their situation. It may not give them the answer that they want to hear, and it might make Mitz's life more difficult but I think that would be better than having McCormack find out from another source like last time.

Every time Mitz moments come up Take a Chance just starts playing in my head. I don't even have to think about it anymore, it just happens. It has become my theme song for this story.

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Review #21, by AlexFanExceptional Circumstances: Pixiedust Delirium II

7th August 2014:
I read this last night but I was far too sleepy to leave anything coherent so I'm back.

Okay, you may have mentioned Eliza in the chapters before this one but for the life of me I have absolutely no idea who she is or why she's important so it'd be great if you could refresh my memory a bit (but good for Eliza for being lesbian!) I am interested in finding out about Cliona and Tarquin and how they fit into Addies's past.

I'm kind of proud of James for taking Addie home and making sure that she was safe, but at the same time I really just want to punch James in the face for being kind of a jerk to Addie in the morning. I just wanted him to shut up the entire time that he was mocking her.

THAT IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU DRINK SOMETHING WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IS IN IT ADDISON YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF GIRL! This story takes place after 2020, come on now Addison, I imagine every girl is taught to watch what they drink when they go out.


Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Ah, don't fret. The busiest two weeks of my life just ended and I just found time to respond to this.

Eliza is the Chaser of the English team, James teammate. She's also the one who called Addie a 'bossy hag' in ch 6. I suppose y'all forgot cause my update took so long >p sorry!

Cliona actually has nothing to do with Addie's past-they first meet in ch 6. She does, however, have a lot to do with Eliza's. And Tarquin plays an important role in Addie's life- past, present and possibly even future.

James was not a complete jerk! Only in the first half, granted, but I'm kinda proud of him too. And if he just kept being nice-ish to Addie, it would've seemed abrupt and uncharacteristic. But things'll improve (eventually).

All I'm going to say at this point, Addison, you incredibly foolish girl! We told you so! :D

And yes, the magazine article. Inspired by all the stupid gossip mags and celebrity websites out there, that I /have/ to salute for their talent of finding smoke where there's no fire. They're not done causing problems in Addie and James' lives, let me tell you that ;)

Thanks so much for reading, reviewing and being so absolutely wonderful.


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Review #22, by AlexFanThe Monopoly on Honour: Do we not Suffer?

6th August 2014:
Hello there, here with your review!

I liked seeing your version of Lucius, because we never really got to see any other side of him in the books other than someone who despised the Weasley's and mistreated Dobby so everyone assumed that he was a bad man (which he was considering the fact that he also went hunting for muggles and muggleborns). I enjoyed this side of his character that showed that he cared about Draco, and that he attempted to protect his son in the ways that he could. I liked seeing him show affection for Draco because despite all of the other things that Lucius may have done, this was a man who loved his family and wanted what was best for them.

I liked the whole family dynamic going on as well, this whole, you protect your own business going on, I wasn't entirely surprised because I always got that feeling from the Malfoy family.

I can definitely see where everyone's fears are coming from. A lot of people in the wizarding world must be against Slytherins after the war ended, or purebloods, and people fitting either of those things would have to work harder to convince people that they weren't evil if they were dealing with someone close-minded. And I like how you pointed out that there were probably quite a few Slytherins out there that attempted to protect students from harm but their actions went unnoticed by the majority of people.

I quite liked the pace of the story, it was slow but not too slow, it moved along at a good pace and the reader got to settle into the scene before you moved onto the next bit of your chapter.

I think you've got a good start to your story here!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review :) It means a lot! I'm still in shock at the praise - so this reply is probably going to be all over the place, but hey!

I'm glad you liked my version of Lucius - he's one of my favourite characters, so I always hope to do him justice! He's such a complicated character and I'm glad that came across. I think you hit the nail on the head with him - he's far more complex than merely 'bad'.

Thank you for picking up on what Daphne and Theo tried to do - not many people have, and it's one of the main things Daphne is motivated by, I think, and I'm happy you liked the premise and found it realistic.

It's one of the concepts I believe is probably true: that prejudice, like war, goes both ways.

Thank you so much for such an awesome review, I really appreciate it!

Celi :)

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Review #23, by AlexFanHear us Roar: If All Time is Unredeemable

6th August 2014:
I've always loved me some Marauder era stories so here I am!

After reading this beginning I'm assuming that a lot of stuff happens in this story that leads to such a dark prologue like this.

I thought this was a really great prologue, it was long enough that you set up the scene and the character but not long enough that you gave a lot away. I liked the air of mystery around this because there was hints of stuff that happened that led up to this moment of Ivy's life and you left the reader wanting more.

I can't say whether or not I like Ivy because I haven't learned enough about her in this chapter to form a solid opinion. From what I have gathered from this chapter about her I'm fairly certain that I would be able to like her character. I'm definitely interested in finding out what happened with her, because to cause someone to lock themselves away like this something really horrible must've happened to cause this isolation.

At first I thought Ivy was in Azkaban or something like that because she mentioned prison and I thought that she had committed a terrible crime but then you went on to say that she had willingly holed herself up in this little shack and it occurred to me that Ivy was most likely hiding.

Personally, I definitely liked this beginning and I'd be willing to stick around for more of the story.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reviewing so quickly, and sorry my reply is so late!

Thanks for such a nice review! I've been honestly so worried that this prologue is just going to turn everyone away from the story, but from my point of view it's still far too necessary just to get rid of completely. It's nice to hear that you'd be willing to stick around for more of the story, so at least I haven't mucked it up completely!

Your point about Ivy is completely fair, in another review someone described her as an interesting plot device as opposed to a person, so there really wasn't much else to flesh her out apart from her paralyzing fear and isolation, which makes her seem incredibly one-sided. You said you were interested to find out what happened to her, so I think she did her job ;P

Again thanks for reviewing!


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Review #24, by AlexFanThe Wandering One : Santorini

5th August 2014:
Hey Jenna!

Santorini sounds absolutely wonderful, I want to visit there some day and hopefully enjoy it as much as Victoire did.

I giggled when Sam apologized to the rude tourist who cut in front of him. He's so right though, Canadians apologize for just about everything. I've lost count of the amount of times that people have walked into me and I apologized to them. You think that it's not something that you'll start doing but trust me, it becomes a habit after some time to just apologize for everything.

When Victoire does visit Sam for the Quidditch World Cup, he should definitely take her to see Niagara Falls because it's absolutely beautiful. They could take the ferry down to the falls and she could take pictures, or they could go behind the falls.

She should listen to Sam about the stray cats because he's right, they can be very vicious. And it's not just the cats, the dogs can be feral too, I remember visiting family in Albania and seeing stray dogs literally everywhere and my parents would put themselves in front of me in case they were vicious.

The magical animal sanctuary sounded absolutely brilliant. If magic was real I would've been pumped to go and see something like that. I love how Victoire is, for the most part, totally unsurprised by what she saw (except for the Chimera) while Sam sounds like he's about ready to pass out. I would love to see how well Valena and Hagrid would get along if they ever met up, they could be pen pals or something.


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Review #25, by AlexFanDecoding the Tutshill Tornados: The One with St. Mungos

4th August 2014:
SUCH EMOTION MUCH OW! I have never seen Fred this emotional before and it was great to get to see this side of him (although it's kind of at the expense of the girl that he's in love with). The dude just seems like an absolute mess if Amy does die I don't know how he's going to be able to handle something like that.

I just love James more and more as this story goes on because he continually picks his friends and family over his career. He knows that his captain isn't going to be happy with him and that it's going to end badly for him but he chooses to stay with his family anyway (AS HE SHOULD). I've got my fingers crossed that even after the two weeks are up that James and Avery don't break up because I SHIP IT.

THANK YOU LORD JESUS THE IDIOT FINALLY WENT TO HARRY FOR HELP. I thought I was going to lose it with James because it seemed like he kept pushing back going to Harry for help when clearly that's what he needed to do. I was worried that James would just dig himself into a hole while trying to fix everything. THIS IS EXCITING I AM EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT HARRY HAS BEEN BROUGHT INTO THE GAME.

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