Reading Reviews From Member: Jsez444
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jsez444Unintended Consequences: Chapter 17 - Interlude

12th February 2012:
Once again, in my opinion, you made it far too easy for them to acquire and destroy another Horcrux.

Other than that point I am still enjoying the story. I just read 4 chapters in a row because I've been away for a bit. I look forward to discovering how you bring all of your plot lines back together.

Author's Response: Thanks! I didn't make it as difficult to get the Horcruxes as I could have, but I really wanted to focus on the characters versus the war with Voldemort.

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Review #2, by Jsez444Unintended Consequences: Chapter 12 - Departures

1st February 2012:
It seems a bit strange to me that a betrothal would constitute an act that would lift the trace. Especially since you mentioned that betrothals were most commonly used for arranged marriages in the past since most arranged marriages are done by the parents when the subjects are young.

Another thing about arranged marriages was that since they were often not left to the subjects to decide they often did not love each other at first if at all. You'd think with the dangerous side effects of these betrothal rituals it would have had disastrous results more often than not when they were prevalent.

Besides that I am liking where the story is headed. I'm sure a trip to Lestrange manner won't come without some action.

Happy Writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! It is their magic and love that fuels the betrothal of that accounts for the different outcomes. The disastrous side effects are the reason the rituals were discontinued. I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)

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Review #3, by Jsez444Unintended Consequences: Chapter 11 - Christmas

25th January 2012:
It's been a while since I read. I've been attempting to write my own story while helping another friend edit their's as well so I just did the last 4 chapters in one shot. I've liked your premise from the beginning but it seems like things are going far too easy for Harry now. The fact that completely removing Ron and Hermione from the picture has led to everything being solved so quickly is a bit backwards. It was also unrealistic how easily he recognized and found the diadem after one look at the statue.

Now Ron and Hermione are completely out of the country and far away so it's unlikely they get back involved in the plot. The story just keeps getting less believable as it goes on.

I do like your writing style still though and I rarely find mistakes. Maybe you have something unexpected in mind that will bring them all back together again. I'll just have to wait and see.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I have moved Ron and Hermione out of the story somewhat, but I wanted to primarily focus on Harry and Ginny and their relationship. There are troubles up ahead, I hope you continue to read :)

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Review #4, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : Another Piece of the Puzzle.

23rd November 2011:
Oh no!

What a cliff hanger!

This was your best chapter in a few and I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hi Jsez444,

Have to try and keep you all interested ;0)
Glad to see your still reading and reviewing.
Voldy's been a bit quiet lately so its time for another break from canon and a start of some trouble.

Next chapter almost finished, should be up soon.

All the best

Lostintransit


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Review #5, by Jsez444Unintended Consequences: Chapter 3 - Return to the Burrow

21st November 2011:
Interesting that now they're all split up. The discussion between the Weasley's was a bit confusing but maybe it was meant to be. I'm still very curious to see how you'll tie this all back together so good job. You've hooked me ;)

Author's Response: Thanks! Hope you like the decisions I've made for our characters.

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Review #6, by Jsez444Unintended Consequences: The Fight

7th November 2011:
This puts an interesting wrinkle in the plot but it's hard to see where it's going in the end. I like your writing style and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this storyline.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you are enjoying it - hope you continue to do so :)

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Review #7, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : Love and Hate and Dinner Dates

25th October 2011:
A fluffy chapter with lots that we already knew or could've guessed. I can tell Harry and Ginny's relationship is going to be a bit nauseating at times with the sappy love stuff and the PDA.

I'm sure there's more action scenes coming up as Voldemort won't stay quiet for long. I'm interested to know how his plans for everyone will turn out. Harry seems pretty all powerful in this story and sometimes that means Voldemort doesn't stand a chance.

I hope you keep writing at a good pace like you have been. I look forward to more!

PS. What does "erratta" stand for?

Author's Response: Hi Jsez444

Ah! looking for more blood and guts are we? Lets not forget that love is "the power he shall know not" Yeah this chapter was a bit of a recap. Kind of getting everyone up to speed before I go on.

Harry's power is amazing, but theres more than one source of power and as Voldemort is so dark, I could never figure out how Harry could beat him be just being ordinary.

An Erratum is a correction to a book, errata being the plural of erratum.

Will update soon.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

Lostintransit


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Review #8, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : Home is Where the Heart Bleeds

21st October 2011:
Glad to see Ginny took him back but I was getting a little frustrated with him not realizing how everyone would view him walking in with two hot blondes at his waist. Are you gonna go the cliche route and hook them up with Fred and George? Wait don't answer that, don't want to give anything away. ;)

Look forward to continuing to read this story. No telling where you'll take us next!

Author's Response: Hey Jsez444,

Well I'm trying to bring as much new stuff in as I can, so if I do go a bit cliche please forgive me. The next chapter up in a day or two.

Regards

Lostintransit


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Review #9, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : Stolen Time with the Fishes

21st October 2011:
Talk about out of left field. A very interesting twist in this plot and a few more weapons in Harry's arsenault.

I'm interested to see how the new twins fit in on the surface. Keep it coming!

Author's Response: Thanks Jsez444,

Just thought I'd throw a curveball into the mix see what happened!!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Lostintransit


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Review #10, by Jsez444The Chosen One: Down the Willow Hole

1st October 2011:
Still loving this story here but the short chapters are killing me! Especially when you leave it hanging like that. It's pretty clear to me that it's Lupin dueling, an 11 year old Harry would never hold up long against three full grown wizards.

I know everything would be different if it had been Neville and you said you took some liberties but I was wondering how Voldemort was so much stronger here than he was even by GoF? Maybe it just worked better with the story and I'm glad you didn't just retell PS. I just didn't know if an explanation of his rise will ever come. Thanks!!

Author's Response: haha sorry.. :) Yeah, Voldemort's improved condition is entirely for the purpose of having a more interesting story and I didn't want to rehash what happened in the books, just with Neville standing in for Harry, because that's too easy, and it's already been done. So, I don't really have an explanantion beyond that.. Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : A Sorcerous Beginning.

25th September 2011:
I'm so glad you keep updating so quickly. I'm really enjoying this story and the cliff hangers kill me. It's good knowing I won't be waiting a month to read the next chapter! Keep them coming!

Author's Response: Hi Jsez444,

Yeah works been good to me at the moment, so I've got lots of chances to write and figure stuff out. It lets me get about 1000 words per day on the page and I can review and edit at the weekends.

I'll keep updating as often as I can, but every now and then I'm afraid work intrudes.

Hope you keep reading and reviewing and most of all enjoying the story.

Thanks again

Lostintransit


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Review #12, by Jsez444The Chosen One: And the Trap Snaps Shut

25th September 2011:
Still a very interesting story and if you plan to continue the series past book 1 I'll be excited to see how the relationships play out. I see a very early James/Lily type vibe coming from Harry and Hermione! And I want to know more about how Draco will feel about Harry now he's stopped being mean to Neville.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks!! I would really like to continue past their first year, but I don't have a ton of ideas for that yet... And yes, Harry and Hermione are definitely a next generation James/Lily, so that would eventually happen :) Thanks again for the review, I'm so glad you like it!

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Review #13, by Jsez444The Chosen One: Christmas Holidays

19th September 2011:
At first I was upset with how Harry turned out but from these last two chapters I've learned that this is probably exactly how he would've been if he were to have been raised by James. Although I still think that both James and Lily would've instilled a little more respect for Neville in him considering they tried to help his parents.

It's interesting having all of the Marauders together still and I'm glad Lupin keeps checking Harry. Too bad Wormtail is still a spineless traitor though.

Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: thanks! I took some obvious liberties with this story.. Thanks, I'll keep posting regularly!

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Review #14, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : Dead Dad, Dementors, Dragons and Despair.

19th September 2011:
Whoa, that's honestly the first thing that came to mind. This is a big chapter revealing a lot about the plot. I'm excited to keep reading this story your plot is very in depth and well thought out.

As a bonus you're also a very good writer. I can't even count how many stories ivetried reading and been unable to continue because of the poor writing style. I hope you keep writing this story and updating regularly.

Author's Response: Thank you very much, its great to hear that you are enjoying the story. I must say I'm having great fun writing it. The next chapter I hope will be equally as big and should be done in a day or two.

As you can see from the reviews, I have had great help from seekers_destiny, proof reading for me.

Thanks again

Lostintransit


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Review #15, by Jsez444A Whole New World: A Farewell Affair

12th September 2011:
Well that chapter was rather short. Kind of a bridge chapter I'm sure but I do hope you update soon...

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Review #16, by Jsez444A Whole New World: Diagon Alley

12th September 2011:
A very interesting concept but I think you're taking a bit of a leap from the Dursley's treating Harry like a human being and buying their own owl! It seems a bit far fetched but who knows. I'm sure that you have a plan all worked out. I love AU stories because they are limitless!

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Review #17, by Jsez444The Chosen One: First Day of School

11th September 2011:
So far I'm still interested. A bit hard to read about Harry being a jerk but hey, it is AU. A little disappointed we didn't hear who the new potions professor was I was waiting to hear about Snape before I realized he wasn't there at the end of the chapter. I had also been hoping that Harry would've gotten sorted into Slytherin but I'm sure you've got a plan.

Author's Response: Yes, I did consider putting Harry into Slytherin... His big personality change is fun to write, but don't worry--he's still a nice kid deep down! Thanks for the review! -Jenni

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Review #18, by Jsez444Harry Potter: A Gift Thrice Given: Chapter Seventeen: Rita Skeeter's Scoop

10th September 2011:
I'm very disappointed that it's over here. I just found this story the other day and didn't realize it hadn't been updated in 3 years until now... His is one of the most creative and intricate plot lines I have ever read and I am disappointed I will more than likely never hear the end...

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Review #19, by Jsez444Neville Longbottom and the Philosopher's Stone: The Day Everything Changed

7th September 2011:
Very interesting. I've been looking for more stories where Voldy chose Neville. I hope you continue writing.

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Review #20, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived: Part 2: 1991. Chapter 16 - Hallowe'en.

3rd September 2011:
Great story. It's really cool seeing a different POV, I love alternate reality based stories. I'm really enjoying it so far so Please keep it coming. The last three stories I've started reading ended up abandoned...

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Review #21, by Jsez444Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Apprehension : Just Between Us!

31st August 2011:
I'm enjoying the story so far although I dont get the chapter titles. Keep it coming!

Author's Response: Thanks for the ego boost, I'll try and update every one to two weeks. The titles are just a bit of fun. An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth ... revenge or justice ... the Dursley's get what they deserve ... maybe. Ron gets what he deserves ... maybe.

Harry wakes up in Grimmauld Place wondering What Happened. Well what happened happened ;0)

Just between us is anything but, as everyone seems to want to get Harry and Ginny back together.

Thanks for reading and reviewing

lostintransit


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Review #22, by Jsez444A Darker Shade of Light - Part II: Chapter 5

20th July 2011:
Ugh, really. I've been waiting for something to happen for a while now and you leave me hanging? A bit of a slow start in my opinion but I know the last one was worth it in the end. You really do love teasing with these smaller very vague plot lines huh? Although I'm pretty sure I know who Kate is... Big hints in this chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Go sign up on Siye, the story is much further along there. HPFF takes very long to update. Hope to read more from you soon. Thank you!

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Review #23, by Jsez444A Darker Shade of Light - Part II: Prologue

14th May 2011:
Really glad you're back! Can't wait to read the new chapters!!

Author's Response: Thank you, I hope you enjoy the story!

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Review #24, by Jsez444Student Crush on a Teacher Tutorial: Student Crush on a Teacher Tutorial

22nd April 2011:
I don't know if anyone will respond to this but here it goes.

What about a teacher making moves on a student? Example: an evil young witch gets a job teaching at Hogwarts during Harry's 7th year and has an evil plan to seduce him and get him hated by his friends. He's 18 since it's after DH.

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Review #25, by Jsez444A Darker Shade of Light: Chapter 16

14th April 2011:
First of all this is the first Crossover fic I've read. I usually don't like them and I actually started reading this not knowing it was a crossover. I really didn't like the first few chapters, I couldn't figure out why you were sticking so close to the original story. When the crossover piece came in and I had never heard of Wheel of Time I almost gave it up. Obviously I didn't because here I am.

I really enjoyed the story and am very glad I stuck with it. From the perspective of someone who had not read the WoT series I thought you did an excellent job giving information about that world without overdoing it so people who had read it would get bored. I am now considering going out and reading the actual Wheel of Time series. Maybe I'll get caught up before you finish the sequel. Any idea when it'll be up?

Author's Response: Glad that you stuck with the story, seeing as the first bunch of chapters aren't great.

Achieving a good balance between too much WoT info and too little was very difficult. It tends to become like a snowball, every small bit requires a hundred other bits to make sense. So I'm happy that you found the balance to be good.

I've written 70k words of the sequel. I hope to start posting within a month, perhaps two. I like to finish at least a first draft before posting. That way I know I won't drop the reader.

If you want to get into WoT, I would definitely recommend the audiobooks on audible. The readers are excellent.

Thank you once again for reading and taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.


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