Got you for Pass The Parcel and I'm glad it gave me the chance to read this story :)
I love your characterisation of Neville and how he goes from being the sort of nervous goofy character that we know from the start of the series to a more confident person. This fills the gap between the fourth and fifth books perfectly because the fifth book is where we see this new Neville.
The relationship between Neville and his father was stunning. I could really feel the love and pride from Neville's father's in his diary entry. Also, I liked Neville's gran's stubborn sense of pride towards Neville too :)
The prompts used in the story were perfectly placed and didn't seem forced at all.
The only thing I have to point out is a few spelling/tense errors. "The journey home has been no different" should be "had".
"But I'll rather be driven insane..." should be "I'd"
And lastly, "What magic without a wand" should be "what's".
Sorry for nitpicking but they just caught my eye...
Very small errors aside, this was a fantastic, heartwarming story which showed the relationship between Neville and his dad and his growth of character. Well done! :DAuthor's Response: So sorry for the late reply. But I got this story beta'd and all the mistakes you've pointed out are corrected :D Thank you so much for pointing all the mistakes out. It really helps :D
I didn't want to poke in all the prompts. True, it was for the HC so I shouldn't have fussed but I love this story and I didn't want to do anything bad to it :D I'm so glad you liked it.
Thanks you so much for nitpicking and reviewing :D These sort of reviews really help.
*Hugs* Report Review
I'm not much of a song fic reader but this story is intriguing and awesome!
Your characterisation of Voldemort is brilliant. It just shows the deep and complicated person that he is and that he is driven by fear and not anger or cruelty. You actually made me feel some sympathy towards him which is a very large achievement. Well Done! *gives cookies* :D
Overall, a brilliant song fic and one of the best stories about Voldemort I have ever read :DAuthor's Response: It's so nice to receive a review on this story! It's a bit of an odd one, so I expect that people hardly ever seek it out or stumble across it. :D
I'm actually not a song fic reader, either--I think I wrote one terrible one years ago, and then this. I feel like song fics are very personal things. We all have certain songs that we associate it with certain characters or situations, and they don't always strike the same chord (pun sort of intended :P) with other people.
Anyway, the thing I was really worried about with this story is characterizing Voldemort, so I'm so happy to hear that you thought I did a good job at that! :D So true that he's driven by fear rather than anger or cruelty; I'm glad that came across in this short one-shot. When you look at him that way, I think it's easy to pity him at least a little.
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
This story is beautiful. It just captures the love between Hannah and Neville brilliantly, showing that they are both quite easy going people and therefore they are perfect for each other. I think this story has convinced me of Neville/Hannah! :)
Your description, flow and grammar is perfect. I can't believe it is only 500 words as you gave so much information. Thumbs up for this fantastic one shot :DAuthor's Response: Hi there!
I'm glad you liked this story and felt like it had an easy feel to it. That's just what I wanted! I don't write Hannah/Neville a lot, but this piece was really fun and I might return to them later. I'm happy that you felt like this was "full" despite its brief length.
Thanks for this lovely review :)
-Amanda Report Review
This story just gets better and better with the inclusion of so many brilliant characters; Regulus, James, Lily and DOBBY!!
Dobby's character was so accurate and adorable. I also liked your protrayal of Regulus as he's so like Sirius but at the same time he isn't if you know what I mean? :P
I'm really excited for the Race to happen and see what happens between Lily and Severus.
I'll be favouriting this story :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for favoriting this story! That means a lot to me. :)
Regulus is becoming one of my favorite characters. I haven't read much fanfiction about him, but what I have seen shows a darker, moodier person, someone who isn't much like Sirius except in looks. I wanted to give him the chance to shine, to be fun. The afterlife is the second chance place, after all, and in the absence of mortality (at least in his case), one can be whoever they want to be.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Ahh, a twist, you can die after being "dead". I love this. It brings a feeling of tension to the story as everything isn't perfect.
I loved your Remus/Tonks relationship. It was so sweet and very canon. The characterisation of Tonks was brilliant and I thought her worries and sadness about being separated from Teddy were beautiful.
I'll keep reading and reviewing. Excellent story so far :DAuthor's Response: The worst part about death here is that it's commonly believed that there is no afterlife for the afterlife. If you lose the tournament, you're gone. Aww, I'm glad you liked the Remus/Tonks. They're one of my favorite pairings. I'm so sad that they died, but so happy that I get to write them here. :)
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Really original plot for this. At first I was a bit confused but I understood it eventually. I'm so glad we'll get to read about the people who died in the Battle and beforehand. Your description and characters are fantastic! I can't wait to read on :DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. The potential for writing about all the dead Potterverse characters was much too tempting, so I'm trying to tackle as many as possible. :) Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I thought this one-shot was brilliant! You wrote the characters very realistically and gave me an insight to what happened after Harry was announced "dead". My favourite characters were probably Luna and Draco, as they were extremely Canon Luna being open minded and seeing through Harry's "death" and Malfoy not really caring about what happens anymore and just wanting to be with his family. This is one of the best one shots I've ever read and I'll be checking out your other stories! Well done :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you thought the characters seemed to be in canon. I try really hard to keep them in canon. I'm especially glad that you liked Draco and Luna's sections. I've never written Draco before, so I wasn't completely sure how well I had done, and Luna is one of my favorite characters, so I'm always afraid of messing her up.
Thanks again for your review! I'd love for you to check out some of my other stories. Let me know what you think if you get the chance :) Report Review
Saw your banner and summary after looking about for Hufflepuff Tuesday and had to read it. I don't usually like Sco/Rose because they are almost always cliche but yours has an original plot and started off very nicely :).
The nightmare at the start had great description and really made me feel for Rose. Apart from a few (very minor) grammatical issues, this first section was brilliant :D
The rest of the chapter had a great flow and Rose is very well written. I also like Aria as she seems cool :P I was surprised that Rose was a Hufflepuff, but in a good way because it is always assumed that she would be a Gryffindor. The way you have written her so far, leads me to believe that she belongs in Hufflepuff :).
I like that Rose is Seer because both of her parents hated the subject and Hermione would probably try and convince Rose that she wasn't one. That could be an interesting part, where Rose has to talk to Ron and Hermione about it :)
The ending was dramatic and made me want to read on, so update soon as this has the makings of a wonderful story :)
teamdobby-Hufflepuff Report Review
Hi there :)
First of all, I can't believe you don't have any reviews because this is a fantastic one shot which includes some of the best description I've ever read in fanfiction. The way you described everything was perfect and kept the tension rising until the very end.
Your characterisation was superb too, with Albus not really showing his anger and Gellert being furious and power hungry.
You really should be proud of this story :)
There are only a few teensy things that I want to point out.
I think the word "channeled" has two L's and there are a few lines of dialogue at the start that don't have capital letters but that's just me being picky.
Keep writing! You have a lot of talent and deserve to be read by more people :) I'm going to favourite you as an author :D
teamdobby- Hufflepuff Report Review
Onto the second chapter :P
I like how you're going to have the story switching between Remus and Tonks' POV as it will give us an insight on both characters :) Using
"Why did my mother give me such a horrid name?" in the second sentence was a good way of showing that this is from Tonks' POV.
Tonks' character is very well written as are the Weasley's. You've also got Tonks' cluminess and curiosity bang on. I knew that there would be an accident sooner or later and it was great that you kept this from her character. Her curiosity is evident as well, when she's trying to find out what they're all talking about towards the end and I give you a virtual thumbs up for that :P.
krissyanne426 said in her review that Tonks didn't really seem fun and outgoing but I think that's because she doesn't know everyone yet and will become the Tonks we know in a matter of weeks.
The twins and Ron are very Canon and believable and this dialogue made me laugh :D
"'We're of age!" says the other, George, I think.
'You are still in school.'
'We'll quit,' they say in unison. Molly was beginning to turn red."
This is turning out to be a very interesting read and is slightly better than the last chapter :)
Just watch out for changing tenses as you did this a few times but everything else is great :D
teamdobby-HufflepuffAuthor's Response: You've got the reason right! I don't think she'd be all wild when she's trying to get to know people :P Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you liked it!
~LilyFire Report Review
Hey there LilyFire :P Thought I would leave a review because this is the first "proper" Remus/Tonks story I have ever read *gasps*.
First of all, I like the chapter name. It sums up the chapter nicely and tells us roughly what is going to happen. The letter from Dumbledore is well written and in character which is obviously very good :). (I also like the PS part because it would be so like Sirius to try and guard Harry :P)
I think the main part of the chapter (rebuilding the Order) is written very well and has a lot of detail such as the spells and enchantments. When Dumbledore is recruiting new members, his speech and dialogue is Canon and therefore makes it believable.
Proceeding to the meeting of Tonks and Remus, I think it's very cute and slightly awkward but that isn't a bad thing because I can imagine Remus being like this. I like the story being from Remus' point of view because it will provide good reading later on, when his feelings will become more twisted and confused.
The only (teeny, tiny) things that I will point out is that there could be a bit more feelings from Remus and that Molly didn't seem to mind Sirius from earlier but apart from that I love this story and I will probably submit more reviews. Keep it up! :)
teamdobby- HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Thanks :) I'm glad you liked it, especially the sorta-boring rebuilding part. Sorry about the woodeness of the chapter, but I think you'll find Remus comes through better later on :) Again, thanks for the review!
~Lily Report Review
I like this story :) It's very original and I like the idea of the Ministry trying to protect the Muggle Borns. It's like an opposite to the Ministry's attempt to "protect" the Muggle Born's in the second war. I like Lily's characterisation and I think you did her character justice. I also like the way you've described the war having such effect on people, magical and non-magical. I feel sorry for Lily's parents and the fact that they had to have their memories modified. The story line has intrigued me and I can't wait to read what happens next. Good work and update soon! :) Report Review
This is a good story and the characterisation is spot on with McGonagall ("this is ridiculous" :)). As other people have said, it's a bit short but still gives us the information that we need as it fills in the gap of the moment. It would have been nice to see more detail such as the feelings of Snape and McGonagall or the reactions of the Council. But I also know that writing for a challenge can be quite hard (my story is quite short too). Keep up the good work though and keep going as I know that you work hard when writing :)
teamdobby- HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked my story and you think the characterisation for McGonagall is spot on. I will try to make this story more detailed in the future. I'm glad that you liked it even though it was a bit short :) Report Review
I can't believe it's taken me so long to review but your story is fantastic. One of the best I have read on the site :D
Has the muggle born girl (sorry, I can't remember her name) maybe stolen Hermione's life? So many questions. I must read on!Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! Meredith? Well, maybe, I guess you'll just have to read and find out... ;) Report Review
This is cute:) I now like Katie with George better than Angelina with him. Update soon ! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you :) My next installment is sitting in my beta's email as we speak! Report Review
This story is excellent :D Can't wait to read the next chapterAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review! Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this. I've still to read Affairs of the Heart but this is really good. Just watch your grammer a bit but it's not a big deal. I liked reading about Ginny's emotions which were well written. Good job :D Report Review
I love this Author's Response: thank you so, so much :)! Report Review
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