Great story, I cannot wait for the next chapter! Report Review
Yet another amazing quidditch scene! I cannot wait for the next chapter :DAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! I'll try to update soon! Report Review
I said in the last chapter that things had gotten boring, well, I only meant between Kylie and Sirius. You always manage to put another edge to the story than just the regular love story, and the quidditch matches brings an element of excitement to the story. Therefore, I didn't mean that your story was getting boring, simply that their relationship was getting too boring to read about. All fixed now though it seems! You really had me thinking Kylie was going to break Sirius' heart. Funny how she literally broke his heart. Only the clay one XD Great chapter. We need a bit of heartache every now and then!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Okay, well, good - I'm glad that you aren't snoozing through the chapters :D Yeah, the clay heart shattered -but that was almost necessary for them to realize how BIG of a mistake they had made. I'm glad that you liked it! Report Review
This chapter was more interesting than the last. It's easy to feel Farren's state of mind which is all over the place, but at times it gets a bit confusing to read. You change from present to past tense when you're writing and it can be a bit confusing. For example: (staring out with present tense) "Sirius screams as soon as he opens his bedroom door. (now it changes to past tense)The guy in question was, in fact, swinging on a chandelier. He had black hair and, from what I could see, hazel eyes behind a pair of glasses." Other than that, this seems overall interesting, and I will look forward to the next chapter.Author's Response: Oh, joy! Another review from you! You're awesome! English was never my best subject so... (hehe) You see where that's from. You have no IDEA how many rejection notices I got back for crappy grammar! Oh, and thanks again! Just posted Chapter 3! Report Review
Well, it was bound to happen with the amount of jealous girls.. And it WAS getting a bit boring without some drama in their relationship, so no angry review from me! XDAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you understand that it was kind of necessary! Sorry that it got boring for a while, though :( Report Review
I like the beginning, it really gives off the feeling that it's a 17-year old telling a story. It's a nice change, when it seems that many people are very focused on sounding so professional while writing a story. The casual tone fits in and gives the story character. Though I would void avoid putting in too many parentheses, as it can sometimes disturb the reading flow. I would have liked this to be a bit longer, as there is not really any action to get the reader hooked and wanting to read more.. Seems interesting though, keep writing!Author's Response: First of all, thanks so much for reviewing! It really makes my day. The story tone I thought was too casual and that people would hate it, so I'm glad you think otherwise. I know there's not much of anything in it. Ya know, it's the first chapter and all. I just put a new one up that was co-written by my friend and it's got quite a bit of stuff (i.e. Cursing, alcohol, stuff). Ah, quotations, my nemisis... I thought there weren't enough so I kept adding and got overloaded... Anyways, thanks loads for this review, and Chapter 2's out (yay!). Report Review
Aw jeez, and then there's no more chapters just when it starts to get exciting D: Great story though! I like how we see Severus from another view than the Marauders'. It's refreshing! By the way, I wondered, it isn't actually possible to have purple eyes, is it? Report Review
Great to have a new update! I love your quidditch scenes, they have so much action in them! It's so awesome that they won! I can't wait for the next match! And the next chapter! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yeah, sorry it took so long ~looks chagrinned~. I tried to pack lots of energy and emotion in to this, so hopefully I managed that! Things should be moving right along now! Report Review
I think she should live. Technically, it's not a terminal illness when it's dark magic, and if she dies it would be like they let evil win.. what kind of way is that to end a story? Sure, if it was a regular terminal illnesss, but it's not.. But yeah, you're the one calling the shots about that.. Great story! Report Review
Sirius is a douche bag xD Report Review
I was completely breathless at the ending! Wow, great story, really, terrific! Finally a good story with the James/OC pairing! I haven't really found any good ones yet other than this!Author's Response: Thank you so much! If there's a need for it, perhaps I'll try to hunt down another plot bunny ;) Report Review
It sounds interesting, very interesting indeed! Report Review
I was almost falling out of my chair while laughing while reading this. Oh my, this was absolutely brilliant! Report Review
This was absolutely hilarious! Ceramic shopping? Hahah! And bloody awesome that she nearly knocked out Voldy! XD Report Review
Any chance you would consider updating this in the near future? Because I am quite curious as to what will happen XD Report Review
Aww, that was incredibly cute!Author's Response: Thank you!(: I tried to make Severus stay in character, but also make it a little fluffy. Report Review
Wonderful chapter! What girl wouldn't be somewhat horrified if her hair got singed off? XDAuthor's Response: So true. lol. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I can't wait for them to get back to Hogwarts! I wonder how Hope will react when she sees Sirius. Report Review
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I wonder what will happen!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Aww, Sirius DO care! 10/10 Report Review
Sorry, small detail I know, but Felix Felicis takes half a year to brew, just sayin' xDAuthor's Response: gosh dangit. :( its ok, thanks! i'm actually glad you told me.i might go back and re edit it now. Report Review
Oooh, drama! Well, Kitty did do something stupid, and Sirius is right to let her feel his wrath! (I love that word xD) I hope they'll work it out, after all, it was just a kiss!Author's Response: WRATH IS AN AWESOME WORD! I might just use it in the next chapter hehe xxx Report Review
Oh my how exciting! Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Haha I'm excited too! I'm so happy to have finally got 'Rubies' up! :) I don't think the new chapter will be too far away :) thanks a tonne for reviewing, I really appreciate it!!! Report Review
I'll follow this while I read Hero of War, it'll be nice to have some background knowledge! xDAuthor's Response: Thanks, that was the idea. And i have to admit im glad i can keep using those character even when Hero of War is nearly finished :) I hope you enjoy the rest :) Thank you again Report Review
Kitty really needs to get a grip o_o 10/10Author's Response: I know she's a very silly girl xxx Report Review
navigation
home
search HPFF read stories write stories login/register get help site links forums podcasts Terms of Service Site Rules contact us
categories & genres
Genre: - crossover - drama - fluff - general - horror/dark - humor - mystery - romance - action/adventure - angst - au - young adult
Popular Pairings: - harry/ginny - ron/hermione - james/lily - draco/hermione - more...
Format: - one-shot - short story - novella - novel - short story collection - songfic
quick links
my account ToS random story site rules help merchandise
fanfictionworld.net
