Reading Reviews From Member: Shinicha
139 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ShinichaBeautiful Mess: Beautiful Mess

8th September 2015:
Omg, this story is beautiful. I'm still in shock about being so fully enchanted within less than 1000 words!

I don't very well know what to say, except that this story is beautifully done. I saw it too! The kids chasing around. You really made me follow Ginnys heart and head step by step. I felt included, as if I was snuggling with them on the bed!

This is definitely very sweet :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind review :) I don't have words to express my gratitude!

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Review #2, by ShinichaAfter: One.

8th September 2015:
Wow, very compelling story.

The fact that you changed the timeline was unusual. With every subchapter I felt myself effectively being dragged through time into the new, earlier setting. I didn't understand it until the very end, when I read Dumbledore's words!

It's an interesting choice for a character. I admit I never much liked Amos, but when he blames himself for his sons death I really felt with him for the first time. It seemed so plausible, the letter and him teeling Cedric to enter!

Great story! Thanks for the read

Author's Response: Eeek, thank you so much! This was a really lovely and unexpected review. I didn't really like Amos either, and I hadn't given him a second thought until I was given his character for the challenge, but I actually feel really sorry for him now. Funny how writing and reading can change your perspective on a character :)

Thanks for the review!

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Review #3, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Louis Arnaud Weasley: Faustina

7th September 2015:

Sigh, why o why did I put off reading another one of your stories for so long? I missed your writing!

That being said this chapter was ... A LOT. It was a challenge, it was funny, and tragic, and psychedelic and QUITE SOMETHING.

Your writing made my brain work on several levels, I felt like those fighter-helicopter-pilots who have to multitask with both eyes in different directions, because I checked to dictionary so often *laughs*

But I'm glad I did, because otherwise I would've missed so much!

The first few paragraphs made me think of music.
Because it starts with the terminus that seemingly sets the topic and continues with a force (or forte) and then goes to allegretto. (So I was a bit happy when it kinda ended with music, although it was Jazz and not classical :D )

But at the same time I was overwhelmed by the constant alliterations (I love those) and the way you managed to PERMANENTLY SPEAK IN CONTRADICTIONS that were complimenting each other to make sense. How did you even think of "reinforcing a fleeting existence" or "science ensorcelled him"?

While remembering my Latin classes because of all the elaborate vocabulary you used, I also remembered my Latin classes because of the accomplishment I felt when I had read a sentence three times and after grasping its full meaning it felt suddenly smooth when it was all stoney and bumpy before.

Apart from that I thought that Faustina must have wondered a long time from Germany, and then I wondered when it was that she ran away? How old is she and WHO paid her father? Is she even from Germany? Because she said Mutti, but her sibling is called "Sin".

When her father watched her from behind the glass I was also inevitable reminded of Brave New World. Actually I'm all for babies-from-tubes (no birth pain, yay!), but this experiment is not quite how I imagine it!!

We know very little about Louis, but he seems so similar to Annett, he, too, seems not very comfortable with social interactions. Will there be another chapter where we can hear his story? I really hope so, I love it.

The funeral scene reminded me immediately of the funeral at the Dumbledores'.

I noticed some small errors (or I think I did):

-- "Death is much too common too always be more than mundane." Second "too" should be "to"

-- "I shrugged" punctuation mark missing after sentence

-- "As subtlety as a fog engulfs a meadow" I think it should be subtly?

GLAD TO HAVE READ THIS and glad to be back :')

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Review #4, by ShinichaChicks Before Broomsticks: End Game

6th September 2015:
Ah, I finished this story in one go (sorry for not stopping at the other chapters to review) and I loved it!

I liked your characters a LOT, including all the side characters that were very well done. Though I have to admit I was a bit worried about this trend of alcoholism in the professional Quidditch league! :P

The way the romance turned out was very sweet and realistic. The story idea itself might be a bit cliché, but it's refreshing to see it as a same-sex pairing story, and since it was so well done - what with Hollie's inner struggles and the way they got to know each other - it was so good!

I'd really love to know how the thing with Ellie and Alec will work out!! ^^

If I were to give any CC at all, I'd say that I got a bit confused as to which Dad was which (I had to go back to the AN where you explained it) and had to think a lot while reading. (Still not sure if I mixed them up in some scenes haha but maybe I'm just too slow)

Thanks for this great read!

Author's Response: Hehe, that's okay, it's great to hear you enjoyed it enough to want to keep reading!

Aw, thank you! I love big ensemble casts, and these characters were a lot of fun for me to write. lol, I'm worried as well, and I wrote it! I think it's a coping method for a lot of them, though, with the fame and all that jazz.

One of the major goals I had with this story was to take that cliche'd plot (fake dating) and try to really try to put my own spin on it. I'm so glad that that worked out!

Hehe, somewhere in the back of my head there's a side story about Alec and Ellie brewing. I don't have a strong enough idea for it at the current time, but I could definitely be talked into it if the right plunny came along.

I definitely understand that. My beta and I worked at that quite a bit to try to get some more physical characteristics into their descriptions to distinguish better. I think one of the internal flaws I had was I didn't want to take away from the story by over-explaining which dad was which, and I think that ended up making it confusing to the reader because there ended up being too little explanation.

Thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading the story!

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Review #5, by ShinichaPast Tense: third.

4th September 2015:
I'm rolling on my bed laughing! This is hilarious!

Actually it makes me really giddy to think of all the possibilities there are when you can basically invent your own curriculum!

Also, this is the first time I read the word "Marxist" in a fanfiction and it made me really happy. Though I can only imagine what the respective media theory would say.

The thought that Connor actually walks through a castle that looks like a ruin is quite fascinating. I wonder about all the other spells that have been cast. But maybe things like "remembering urgent appointments" don't really happen when you already know it's there!

I wonder if Connor's students can ever grasp his subject. I wonder if they're even capable of grasping elementary physics, now that I think of it, since all its rules don't apply to them. HM.

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Review #6, by ShinichaPast Tense: first.

4th September 2015:
I love this story already!

The snide remarks about the magic world's absurdities are hilarious. And the story idea is really nice to begin with, it has a lot of potential fun and drama, I'm looking forward to reading it!

I was just wondering: Can you drive at age 16 in the UK? I thought it might have been later...

The letter by the headmistress is quite strict in tone haha. She seems so sure that Steph will say yes! I wonder how much she knows about magic history, since she studied the Muggle one... Reading on! :)

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Review #7, by ShinichaYour Heart on Your Sleeve: 3

2nd September 2015:
Your characters manage to be utterly confusing but consistent at the same time. Draco isn't really likeable, but in a way relatable.

I can honestly say that I have NO idea where this is going, but I definitely want to go on reading it.

The dialogues are without any doubt totally whacky; where did Greg suddenly come from? (laughing hard)

I like Draco's Herbology talent, it's somehow very fitting, and I also immensely enjoy Theodore's company. I'm really hoping very much for an update soon, because this is very lovely!

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Review #8, by ShinichaYour Heart on Your Sleeve: 1

2nd September 2015:
Ahh, this is SUCH an interesting story idea and SUCH a good first chapter!

The interaction between Draco and Theodore was very well done, I thought. The bluntness, unexpected turns in the middle but still easy to follow.

I generally enjoy your style of writing, it's down-to-earth but thoughtful at the same time.

Your Luna was just perfect, I think she's one of the hardest characters to write if you don't want to overdo the "weirdness".

The magical tattoo-procedure was really cool, I'd LOVE to have one of those!

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Review #9, by ShinichaWhen I Go Out With You: One By One

2nd September 2015:
This is a wonderful story, I love it so far!

I can tell you put a lot of thought into melting all the feelings into your beautiful sentences, and the effect is perfect; they're not too long, they're not too pretentious but still highly unusual!

I can't wait for your Neville!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you very much for taking the time to review this. And, of course, read it! I always assume the only people reading my stories are those reviewing, so it's a bit of a nice surprise when an unexpected review appears in a late chapter! I am really glad to hear that you like the way I weave emotions into my words. I look forward to hearing what you think once Neville gets involved!


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Review #10, by ShinichaComplicated: In Which It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

1st September 2015:
OMG I just realised to my horror that I actually never left a review for this story! I'm so sorry, I don't even know how this happened.
And I honestly want to make it a long and good one, only I'm currently on my phone on an island :(
I'll therefore just comment on this chapter for now.

Okay, so the question just WHO this girlfriend of her fathers is has bothered me quite a while (when Daphne was about to spill it in Hogsmead and Olivia refused to know I was like whaaat nooo).. But I never would've guessed THIS. Not only the bad one of the MLEs but also Laura's mother?!?!

But Olivia wandering in Laura's room was a continuation from last chapter's surprise: that she'd actually be friends with Rose and was once apparently non-bitchy. This only heightens the suspense of what happened for her to turn on Albus.. And if and when this misunderstanding is cleared; will it be too late for her, or will Liv be the one who'll be ditched? :/ :/

We haven't heard anything about Cassie in a while! I still wonder if my suspicion of her being pregnant is correct..! (But why run away and not simply abort...? What about the violence she seemingly encountered..?)

I love how the katie-side of Liv's family is growing on her. The moron really is quite attentive; and I loved her 'reunion' with Al. I can't wait for the next chapter, I'm sitting on needles!!! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so so much for this review. Everything you've said is so kind and I'm really happy to hear how much you're enjoying this story. It's always lovely to hear that people have been reading and liking it.

Cassie's still going to be in the background for a little while. Olivia's struggling without her but right now her other problems have pushed it a bit further back in her mind. It's good to hear your theories on her disappearance :)

I'm so glad you like Katie and Jason! Jason's really making progress with Liv and I'm enjoying writing it a lot. And then Al's just super kind and lovely to write.

Next chapter's up now. Hope you like it!

Thanks so much for the lovely review. Emma xx

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Review #11, by ShinichaKill Your Darlings: Christmas Party

25th August 2015:
ohmygod, I had ALMOST forgotten about Ted's thing, whatever it may be, but now I'm doubly curious! At first I'd thought he was a metamorphagus like his future daughter ... but how could he transform his clothes? Then I thought he was some kind of Animagus - but why would he have this pain and this weird silver streak in his hair??

It really was a great chapter, again I love Andromeda for how she battles her self-pity and how she handled the whole situation. How lucky am I not having to wait for the next chapter! PHEW

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Review #12, by ShinichaKill Your Darlings: Wensleydale Cheese

25th August 2015:
Another lovely chapter, and the final sentence "...So if the act of Muggleborn Ted Tonks enfolding her in a safe, warm embrace was an act of contamination, then it was the sweetest contamination that Andromeda Black had ever known." ... you melt my heart! haha

besides, I LOVE Nelson, he's awesome, though I do wonder what they usually eat when they apparently never use cutlery. Toast and pizza?!

Everything about this chapter was wonderful! Sorry about these far-too-short and not-very-helpful reviews!

I noticed one small mistake (I THINK):
"More than given it to her, he’d called incredible" -- I believe there should be one more "her" ;)

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Review #13, by ShinichaKill Your Darlings: Refuge

25th August 2015:
Oh, this chapter warmed my heart, it was really nice. And yes, Andromeda IS behaving quite unusual, but I can't believe how her family could treat her like that!!! I would've been a heap of self-pity, but she is very self-reflective. I thought she was really strong, the way she handled herself in this situation!

Your quotes from the book very btw super-creepy! It really sounds like these race-theories from the late 19th early 20th century..uff!

Great chapter :)

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Review #14, by ShinichaKill Your Darlings: Discovery

25th August 2015:
Oh, wow, okay, first let me catch my breath after this fantastic (and exiting) marathon through your chapters! I am sorry that I didn't stop after each of the catching and addictive chapters to leave a review, however I'm leaving for holidays tomorrow and wanted to get through some Dobby-Recommendations before leaving!

I really like your idea to chose to write about Andromeda and Ted; and I completely share your love for both of them! You've made two minor characters come to live in a really wonderful way :D

I think you did a very good job at working all the Canon characters into the story. Your Cissy and Lucius, and especially your Sirius, love them! Your managed to really flesh out their personalities, the way they talk and react to things is very consistent and provokes nice dialogues. Also your Rabastan is outright frightning! O_O His domineering ways and this "glint", whatever it may be, that she saw in his eyes made me seriously worried about Andromeda.

Especially Andromeda is great; the way she slowly, slowly changes over the chapters; how she is extremely naive but thoughtful at the same time; how she slowly makes herself question things she has learned to be true, just because that's what she expects of herself; to be consistent and smart.

I, too, enjoyed how you make language a decisive point in characterizing different personalities. I actually watched several youtube videos of yorkshire accident to understand its sexappeal!!! :D But also the usage of words (it's really cute when Andromeda gets thrown off by "uncoth" vocabulary haha)

In between the themes of overcoming prejudice and handling social pressure, the mystery of her nightmares, the blinks into a future with Death Eaters and Voldemorts, are peppering the story up and leave just the right amount of thrill. Ted's tattoo and the fact that it's a bird made me wonder if she might possess some divination skills??

I any case, I'm really happy to have found this story and can't wait to read on~~~ This year's Dobbys are going to be soo hard to choose again, with all these great stories like yours!!

Author's Response: Eep! What a brilliant surprise to come back to. Thank you for this and your other reviews! I'm working through them at a snail's pace, I know, but I intend to reply to each of them, and they've all been total day brighteners.

It always makes me giddy when I hear about a marathon read! Those are my favorites. Yes, I've been a little bit, um, obsessed with Ted and Andromeda ever since Sirius mentioned them in the series. I'm so glad I made a New Year's resolution to write a fic about them and saw it all the way through!

Haha, the Yorkshire accent really is delicious, I think. I know not everyone agrees. . . But for Ted, imho, it's perfect. :]

Thank you for all the kind feedback on plot and characterization! I'm so glad you've been enjoying the story AND I hope you had a fabulous holiday!

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Review #15, by ShinichaA Study in Silver: Such Savage Methods

20th August 2015:
This is getting SO thrilling and exciting!

Their plan is ridiculously dangerous and risky (was getting caught in the office part of the PLAN? Or did he succeed DESPITE being caught?), but also pretty clever.

Over the course of the chapter it also becomes clear, that while Perry is clearly erm, hard to deal with, his "delusions" are most likely to contain a lot of truth, and I can't help wondering if the suspicions he had about an "influencal wizard" being dark (whoever it was where he broke in) will become relevant later on.

The other thing is this annoying Skeeter woman who keeps appearing (who did she indeed get that shot?).

You're really doing an exceptional good job at giving all kinds hints toward potential suspects! :o

The child-thing, Roxanne does to remember the "innocence" of all her patients, I do it too and it's sometimes really quite puzzling. The sentences that followed, about Blishwick having signed his Healer's certificate before his birth certificate was one of the coolest ones in the chapter! (Besides, of course, the stoned birds, haha).

So, will Blishwick be the Moriarty? Or is this just the beginning? (IS SKEETER ACTUALLY THE MORIARTY?)

Too many questions!

Just something I forgot to mention in the last review for chapter 5:

"outside the scandal and the St. Mungo's and the investigation with Perry" - I THINK you meant "at" not "and" St. Mungo's?

Author's Response: You know, that's a really good question! Perry def makes it SEEM like it was part of the plan, but he's probably just trying to spin it that way and it was an accident :P

YAY I'm so glad that I managed to make multiple suspects alluring! And yeah, the "remembering everyone was a baby" thing can be SUPER trippy. So glad you liked the line about Blishwick! (AND STONED BIRDS. I really didn't know whether or not people would hate that, but it made me giggle SO MUCH)

I WILL KEEP MYSELF FROM OFFERING SPOILERS. There may or may not be sequels planned ;)



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Review #16, by ShinichaA Study in Silver: Meet the Wotters

20th August 2015:
Sooo this chapter was the awaited and dreaded serious turn!

While I had a bad feeling when Roxy left Perry alone, I think I would've done the same if I were her. (Maybe I would've forced him to come with me, but probably not.) Even assuming that he WAS an addict, it's quite true that he doesn't seem at all like a Heroin-one, with his giddyness and constantly reeling thoughts.

The scene where she gets the "clue", seeing Hugo and James on the balcony, was really cleverly woven into the story at a point where the reader wouldn't expect it! I also liked that she actually did realize something was wrong instead of coming home and finding the .. surprise.

As to the family gathering: It was interesting to see them all flock together and how you fitted in all the information about them. You did a good job with it, balancing facts with personality. It didn't seem forced or unnatural. I particularly liked the detail about Lily helping the Cannon's to the top :D

Again, I love how you mix other fanfictions with yours, and I think I might have to check out some of them (successful AD strategy!)

Hugo is such a little annoying ignorant, haha! He doesn't seem very grown-up, still too stuck-up to have sex talk (or at least have his sister talk about it publicly), but trying hard to be cool by approaching drugs in a supposedly'leger', actually a bit stupid and irresponsible, manner! It's funny how familiar his character seems. In between all the "do-it-my-way" self-confident Wotters (who all manage to be successful with what they want to do, excpet for Roxy haha) he seemed the youngest and the one with the most dents in his personality, which is intruiging.

I also thought it was interesting to see Roxanne in a club. While she'd mentioned that she hadn't really gone out much since she started as a Healer, and also that she apparently had a lot of pretentious friends who didn't care about her once she got into trouble, I didn't quite expect her to be so unused to going out. However, it fitted her personality so far, while showing a new facette of hers. (Also in the way she approached this Felix guy, who, btw, does NOT ring a bell at all from Year Five, WHAT AM I MISSING TELL ME).

So. Now. I'm waiting for what will happen to the idiot that almost overdosed even though he should know better.

Author's Response: You have NO IDEA how glad I am to hear that you think you would have done the same thing. I REALLY didn't want anyone to think Roxanne was being foolish by leaving him alone, and wanted her choices to make sense and be relatable. YAY!

Oh yes, so much toggling of moods. Like, "serious plot [then] YAY FUN FAMILY [then] OH NO CLUE"

There was definitely a lot that was self-indulgent about all the Wotter trivia I threw in, so I'm glad you liked how I parsed it out. It was--yeah, the whole toggle of moods. Like, throw in really indulgent fun stuff before something TERRIBLE AND HARROWING happens.

It's weird how, even before I started writing Hugo, I just knew he would be a little crappy. I don't know why! Maybe because I felt like SOMEONE had to be, and it helped the plot that someone was.

I know that being a doctor is REALLY hard, and Roxanne was still pretty early in her career and really devoted to her work, so I figured she just didn't have TIME. And also, for her overall character arc, I liked the idea that maybe losing her job/career might not be a bad thing. There be silver linings!

Heehee, so Felix: he wouldn't have been born yet when Y5 was set. But there is a clue! "Nirvana is Dad Rock to me."


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Review #17, by ShinichaY5.5: Identical, Yet Inverted

19th August 2015:

Ok that was my reaction to this, it's hilarious.

It's an expertly done spoof, and it WAS SO CONVINCING that now I feel like "damn, I took the original so seriously, HOW PATHETIC AM I AS A READER WHEN IT'S ALL SO OBVIOUSLY SILLY".

But it's not, I know it's not. However, this is, in a good way.

And I didn't fail to notice that you couldn't quite keep the deep stuff out of the story, it almost got lyric with Emily's time-tape-analogies! (which I thought were really clever, or am I now stupid for thinking them clever?! AH! - my word of the day)

Author's Response: Haha! Well trust that I too take Y5 VERY VERY SERIOUSLY.


And yes, I did have fun spelling out some of the Deep Stuff stuff, and then had even more fun removing words until it became utter nonsense :P

Yee, thank you so much for all of your reviews! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply!

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Review #18, by ShinichaA Study in Silver: Stakeout!

19th August 2015:
Rita's article was the best of the best!
Ok, by now I have to admit I'm getting a tad tired, so this review will be much shorter, however believe me I loved it no less.

I really enjoy how you make references to other fanfictions in your story (such as the Fred Memorial Scholarship, from where I'm guessing Rose also borrowed her activism), I love your Skeeter woman (so much), and the only thing I would possibly, maybe change is starting two consecutive paragraphs with the same word in the article:

"So what went wrong?" - this one. MAYBE. I'm just overly picky with word repititions! (forever scarred by my German teacher)

The scientific input, mixed with magic, was truly impressive and also informative!

I'm really hoping Perry's addiction isn't connected to opioids (you know my horror by now), and I really hope Roxy'll get it out of him!

Also, thanks to you my English gets polished up quite a bit. Maybe I should start a vocabulary list! On the downside this story might just keep me from starting my own mysteriy novel that I've procrastinated writing the last weeks because

a) I'm too addicted reading this (plus, I should read all the other nice recommendations in the Dobby's thread too, not only but also to send this into the race) and b) this splendid piece of writing is far too nice to not subdue my enthusiasm about writing something far more inferior haha :P
(or maybe c) I'm just as lazy as usual.)

And now I'm off to bed,


Author's Response: Hee, that Skeeter article was SO FUN to write! Like, oh man. And you know I hadn't thought of this Rose being much like the FWMS-Rose, but you make a good point with the activism thing. Probs because of the whole Hermione/SPEW thing, I just figure Rose has to be something of a warrior for causes :P

Ooh you make a good point with the article. While writing it, I tried to sort of allow a little bit of crap or ridiculous writing, since I sort of thought it fit the character--but I think that might indeed be a good thing to adjust since it doesn't really come off as very intentional.

Ha, I nerded out WAY too hard on the science here!

Ooh ooh ooh! I wanna see your mystery story! Writeitwriteitwriteit!


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Review #19, by ShinichaA Study in Silver: The Huddled Masses

19th August 2015:
I almost started this review with another "AHHH" (they're getting more insane and hysterical by each chapter), but that would be too repetitive.

But. AH. Okay, I'll start with the easiest thing: Unless my English failed me (quite possible), I think the "a" should be an "it":
"She’d intended to twist the knife where a hurt the most"

THANK YOU for making me laugh so hard. In my glee over this hilarious chapter, I posted it on Facebook, telling everyone to read it. (Sadly I don't know many HP fanatics so your read count most likely won't change much).

You're right, every attempt to make Scorpius sound cool is doomed to fail. Although I do know a person called Pius, like, for real. (I know a few Pias as well. Catholic country.) But Perry somehow reminds me of a dog's name, haha... you know, a really furry, fluffy one, as in peRRy.

I feel I get sucked in by Perry's quite crazy life rhythm just as easly as Roxanne does, getting up and sleeping at weird hours. (BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP READING. It's 2:40 in the morning.) But not only because of that, but because your writing gives a the story a fast pace that is still very easy to follow, it flows really nicely!

Your description of their surroundings when they're on their drug spree through London are really FINE, and I feel you've improved tremendously since Year Five, even though that is already really good.

The added mystery of Roxannes resignation intruiged me just like Perry. But I got immediately distracted by the absurdity of this chapter. The drugs hidden INSIDE a pig, haha.

Uncontested is Roxanne's fashion show in Diagon Alley. I'm trying to guess the letter order, let's see:
1. George
2. Angelina
3. James
4. Hermione
5. Albus
6. Well that one was revealed.

Am I right? If yes, you are truly amazing. If I'm wrong you still are, because with a single paragraph you managed to give me a distinct image of all the characters and managed to re-wrap it in two-line-letters. I mean, WHAT. (Although admittedly, there is a certain trend in the fandom-business that supports some guesses). Still, wow.

Perry's addiction IS btw a bit scary and when he burried his face in the rucksack, for a short moment I was afraid he'd just take a bite or something :D

OK BACK TO BUSINESS, next chapter. ^-^

Author's Response: OH you make me squee and flail :D THANK YOU!

I don't know of many people sharing my stories outside of here, so that means a lot to me!

Weirdly the only Perry I've ever known in real life was a girl, so I can't really shake this sort of effeminate connotation to it, which I think is why I thought it suited him. And yeah, Scorpius is just a ridiculous name and I COULDN'T deal :P

Writing this story definitely made me want to go back and edit Y5, because I was all like "oh hey look, I'm better at things now!" And I'm so glad you liked the pace! That's something I definitely focused on a lot!

THAT WAS MY PLAN! To distract people from figuring out the mystery by just being really absurd! YAS MY TRICKS ARE WORKING!

Your guesses are actually really close!

1. Yes George!
2. Actually, AUDREY! But you totes figged the Mum Voice thing (though I think a letter from Angelina would have read more like "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?!)
3. This is a super good guess, but the answer here is Freddie (but James really is a good guess)
4. Yup, Hermione :)

My idea was that the article in the next chapter would sort of explain who sent which thing, so this was something of a "soft intro" of all the characters.



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Review #20, by ShinichaA Study in Silver: At the D.M.L.E.

19th August 2015:
Ah, I love you so much, this story is so super-duper-cool!

You've got a great grasp on the moods, they change very subtly but effectively with each scene. To see Perry's weak side was almost heartbreaking, I swear I felt sad when Harry told her that they didn't pay him!

Speaking of Harry; the thing with the glasses.ah. it's too funny, I can't put it into words .. T_T

I also liked that you tried to effectively think 15 years into the future (looking forward to re-reading it in 15 years ;D ); but solar-energy for London? :P

On a side-note: What's with the Heroin in each of your stories? :D
Ah, and Perry fighting his old addictions...

Righto, done rambling (sorry!) reading on :)


I'm really glad that you said what you did about the moods here. This was the most Humor story I've ever written, but I still wanted to vary it a lot and let the tone shift at times.

Hee, I liked the glasses thing myself :P

The whole "future" aspect is often something I've wondered about NextGens--since they're usually set a bit in the future, which also makes the story scifi! I didn't want to ignore that, but also didn't want to belabor it too much, so I'm glad you enjoyed the details I threw in :)

That is a very, VERY good question. With Y5, I think it was included because of era. Here it was just a weird accident. I picked the title "Study in Silver" as a play on "Study in Scarlet," and /really/ wanted an alliterative color. So yeah, I chose silver just because it started with S :P Then I was like, "hmMmMm, what can be silver? Unicorn blood? ...No, not getting any ideas there... DRUGS?!?! Yeah that could work." It needed to be a mystery set partly in the muggle world that had nothing to do with Death Eaters, and drugs was the only thing I could think of that could combine magic and muggle in a dangerous way, and black tar is black... So, it just was the only option!

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Review #21, by ShinichaA Study in Silver: Prologue: The Lodger

19th August 2015:
Ah I'm a terrible story-hopper, I know! (I haven't given up on Year Five though, promise!) But when I saw the title, I just had to give it a read!

. AND IT'S SO HILARIOUS. Luckily my neighbour just moved out or she might've been seriously bothered by my hysteric laughter. :D

I read a Study in Scarlet when I was a kid, so I basically don't remember anything, sadly, so I probably won't be able to recognize all the nice references (though I am watching the new series).

Your start to the story is perfect, the style is clear, precise and decided. And funny. Making Roxanne the Watson is a pretty cool idea; and i CANNOT wait for more detective/magic mixing. The Coffee-talk almost brought tears to my eyes!! (digestive tract of a kneazle? seriously?) The scene in the apartment and their exchange about moldy cups and Them! were priceless. Ah, not to forget Leonardo, lovely.

I cannot quite figure out why Scorpius would introduce himself with a fake name though.

So.. respect for giving this story a try, I imagine it to be incredible difficult to write. And I love how much thought and research you put into the details of your stories!

Looking forward to more.

And I don't get Diurnally. Apparently I'm not nerdy enough :/

Author's Response: Yay for story-hopping!

Heheh, I haven't read Study in Scarlet since I was a kid either, so I looked up various synopses to refresh myself. It's actually a pretty weird plot, so I just went ahead and made up something completely different and only referencing a couple of things.

So glad you found this funny! This was my first real go at comedy, and kind of my "Fun Fic" so I was just kinda having a good time with it :)

The kneazle thing! That's actually a thing! There are expensive types of gourmet coffee produced in that way using a civet! And since a civet is sort of cat-like, I though a kneazle made the best magical analogue.

I really enjoy doing research for stories (because: nerd), but I'm always glad when someone appreciates the research that went into things :) Oh! And 'diurnally' is an antonym for 'nocturnally'--Diurnal creatures are active in the day. So I figured if the shady/sketchy alley off Diagon was called "Knockturn Alley" then the posh/expensive street would be "Diurn Alley" :P

Yee! Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews!


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Review #22, by ShinichaCuriosity Is Not a Sin: The Hogwarts Express

19th August 2015:
First of all, I'm sorry to only comment on the very last chapter! I really appreciate all the effort you put into this very long story - THANKS a lot for writing it!

So I don't know the version before it was extensively edited as you anounced in your A/Ns, therefore I can only speak for the updated version :)

I really loved this romance. Its strongest point is characters and character development. The plot itself may not be one never written before, but you managed to turn it into a very unique story.

Your Rose, to start with, is refreshingly different. A troublemaker and a very real personalitiy with all her flaws and and averageness, while still being funny and loveable. I adored her stubbornness!

Scorpius is the other part of a set of great main leads; I enjoyed that he was embarrassed so easily, not a super-cool one (how silly with his traffic-light-hair!), very emotional and talkative…

Amongst all the minor characters (which were really colourful and fun!), I probably loved Dominique most for her kinda intimidating personality that you managed to convey long before we even met her in person!

The story itself arches nicely over the many chapters. I can honestly say this is the first story I know where nothing big, terrifying or shocking or even particularly dramatic happened, to which I still got hooked and that I could not stop reading.

The story of a first love is so convincing and real, I think any reader can put oneself into Rose’s and Scorpius’ shoes and feel with them. It is, what the title says: curiosity; paired with a fabulous sense of humour and a good portion of realism.

So thanks again for this wonderful read and making me love your story!


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Review #23, by Shinichafirst: first meeting

15th August 2015:
hey! i found this story via the charactarization of the month in the ravenclaw common room :)

This is really a lovely start to a story. Esme seems like a very real personality already, so I think she's going to be a wonderful OC.

I think it's also interesting that her connection with Albus starts at this young age - and him as well, his insecurities about being the Slytherin of the family ...

Can't wait to read on!

(Sorry that the review is so short, I admit I get a bit lazy late at night ^^°)

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Review #24, by ShinichaSirius Black: Escape from Azkaban: Chapter One: A Dog's Day of Freedom

5th August 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the review swap and terribly sorry that I'm so late!

It was really, really hard to choose a story out of the ones you posted as they all - all! - seemed alluring and interesting. Thus, I went for the one with the smallest number of reviews!

Believe me, it is difficult to write a review for this, because I don't think I can properly put into words what it made me feel.

To start with, the idea to write Harry's 3d year from Sirius' POV is a good one, and a big challenge at that. It is almost impossible to imagine what someone feels and thinks after 13 years of imprisonment. However, you did a superb job with it; the start in itself is beautiful and sets the mood of the story.

I also loved how you described Sirius discovering his emotions and perceptions again after being cut off them for so long. The scene at the beach was really touching! Although can never help feeling sad when I read a story about characters that I KNOW will die all to soon.

The interaction between him and James reminded me a lot of Harry's encounters with his father - in GoB or with the stone of resurrectoin - the way he talked and the misty state between reality and ghostly dream. Personally, I would like it even more if you took out the sentences that confirm what the reader unevitably thinks: that this is not quite a dream (but how can it be real?) But that's simply a matter of personal taste.

You managed convincingly to depicts his radical mood shifts and the complexity of his emotions. Your descriptions were wonderful in detail and expression but never too much!

I would love to see the story continued and to read what his encounters with Harry are like to Sirius, but even as a stand-alone piece it's quite beautiful. I'm really glad I read this, and I want to check out your other stories too!

Author's Response: Thanks, and sorry for the long wait for my reply, been off for a bit. I'm really glad that you enjoyed this. :)

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Review #25, by ShinichaThis is Angelina: Memories

5th August 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the review swap - sorry I took so long!

First of all, you really managed to surprise me. When I read the synopsis, I imagined the story to start after the war - but you plunged right into the last scene. I have big respect for you doing this; I imagine it to be incredibly difficult to think of everything that the book describes and fit it a story of your own.

With this you did a really good job - in all this time that we follow Harry running around the castle, others are fighting. The horror of the war - especially in the second chapter - are crazily well decribed. It really made me shiver. You used a richness of words to convey the huge things happening around Angelina and in her mind too. Even more than in the original can we feel what it would mean to be in the middle of death happening!

The flashback of Angelina's childhood was also very well written and you fleshed out the different characters of George and Fred very well and gave Alicia a very shining personality that I immediately took to (although I felt that you were very harsh with Percy :D haha)

In between there are the love stories woven in. I honestly thought it was very interesting to have such a daring teenie-action mix. Mostly, I liked how you wrote it, although I can't help but think the discussions about love confessions would maybe not take place in a setting like this. But who knows?

The only things that I thought could be improved were, on one hand,
- punctuation (many sentences are too long and commas would ease the read immensely; also the usage of punctuation marks before and after direct speech is somewhat irregular)

- and on the other hand the introduction of canon characters. I feel here you rely too much on "the Trio" to explain how Angelina would know them or think about them. For example, it is very easy to imagine that Angelina knows Eloise without mentioning Hermione!

Other than that I think your story is really gripping and well written. I noticed some smaller mistakes that you might want to change:

Chapter 1:
* "Angelina nodded in understanding before pulling playfully on the hood of her cloak, knowing that on any other day, she would have hated hiding her blonde hair." - in this sentence it is not clear that "her" referrs to Alicia, so I got confused when suddenly blonde hair was mentioned!

*"Angelina walked a ways with Alicia in the warm night air, she had lit the fireplace earlier for something to do and to warm her cold hands." This part of the sentence doesn't very well connect to its beginning; also I don't really understand the reference to the fireplace?

*"Only, Harry doesn't want us to fight for him, he wants to handle this on his own, but we can't do that, we can't let him win.” Neville said fiercely." - here, it reads as if "him" refers to Harry, so maybe you could say "Voldemort" (don't know if Neville uses the name at the end) or any other name to clarify.

Chapter 2:
"The Quidditch supply room had been broken into only a few minutes before and she was surprised by just how heavy it was" - this usage of passive made me wonder who broke in (it was her and Angelina right?), and also "how heavy IT was" grammatically would mean the supply room, so the box should be mentioned again!

- “are you sure that they'll know what to do?”
“Of course. Until I tell them to,” ... - Written like this it would mean that the Bludgers know what to do up to the point where she tells them to (what?) - so I think it would make more sense to change "until" to "When"

*"undiluted Bubotuber puss that they were going to lug it over the walls." - pus (one s), and the "it" is not needed :)

*"darted away into the fray before Angelina could determine that he was all right - "whether he was alright"

- In the memory of first year, Katie Bell is mentioned, however I think she is one year younger than Alicia and Angelina!

*"but it was only when they were going to their separate dorms did she realize why" - "that she realized" would be correct

*"Percy and Clearwater, the two happy little Prefects" - I got a bit confused as the two weren't actually Prefects at that time. Is it meant that they behave like ones? Maybe another word would be better!

* "Its been a really good day" - change to "It's"

* "she realized that she was still disoriented and thought that they were still outside of their dorms, back in first year." - this part is kind of a contradiction of how you started the paragraph! Because you first wrote that she isn't surprised at all to find herself in the middle of the war.

*"The sight was more devastating than a lie" I think this is meant as an allegory, but it seems a bit random to me as I unvoluntarily thought it referred to a specific lie ("did I miss something??")

I hope it's okay to point these things out!


Author's Response: HELLO!

Thank you a thousand times for this review and stopping by! I'm sorry that I'm just now responding to it though. D':

I think a few people have commented on the fact that I didn't start this story after the War was over. This is pretty short but the first four chapters actually focus on the Battle of Hogwarts. The remaining chapters focus on the aftermath of it (That's actually the name of my favorite chapter in this entire story) and I thought that it was a good balance.

I made sure that I did my research while I was writing the Battle. I didn't want to focus on Harry and his friends because we already KNOW what they're going through. It was easier for me to shape what Angelina was seeing around other events that you all would recognize, forcing her to be in the middle of everything that she couldn't stop. It was a kind of exhausting writing so much angst though but your reaction to it was just what I needed! I wanted you all to feel every single thing and one person left me a review a long time ago saying that she nearly tasted the blood in the air. Now THAT was a compliment that made me feel so amazed and even a little scared by!

I really liked the flashback because not only do you get a sense of what Angelina's relationship with George will be like in the future, you get a good idea of who he is without Fred. That was essential. I shall not apologize about making Percy into a git, although I do love him more than any other Weasley sometimes.

Punctuation is not my strongest suit.

The thing about Angelina being introduced to canon characters through the Trio is simply to show that she was everywhere and nowhere. I wanted to give you all the idea that she didn't really hang around the twins and the others ALL the time. I'm sure that she talked to Hermione and the others a little here and there too but there's also this thing that I wanted to play around with. You know who these people are already but to someone like Angelina, who doesn't have the closest relationship to them, seeing those same people dead or in danger just creates a whole different emotion.

Or something like that.

THe CC's that you pointed out are the same ones that get me every time. It's weird how that happens AFTER the chapter is posted, right? Hahahaha.

Thanks so much for the review!


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