Reading Reviews From Member: Shinicha
  
89 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: The Irritation of Attention

28th October 2014:
Loved this chapter! For picking up and arranging all the plot-threads and for having Al+Fufu action! hoho

On one hand, I'm glad that Ronan is healed from the parasite, on the other hand (I know it's mean) I'm somehow hoping that we'll get a few more science sessions with Annette researching methods to heal his neurological damage! I'd love a good lab session ^_^

I'm pretty amazed at what is thrown at Anette. She gets so much attention for being herself, but not just because she's being herself, but because she's behaving the way she does around others - meaning social interaction! Which is positive. I like the controvercy that arises from this - some students being really scared of her, giving her a reputation, others seeing her talents thus suggesting her for the Quidditch tryouts. Superficially the plot has everything a typical Cinderella-story needs. But it's so different, because firstly, it's not about a single prince charming discovering her traits, but her own abilities showing in the course of social interactions, secondly it's her thoughts that make her personality so convincing and interesting, and thirdly it's the VERY likable and welcome lack of constant social-class-clichés being reproduced (happy end=marrying/becoming rich) that usually come with Cinderella-stories.

Just one thing I was wondering about during the Quidditch training was the tense-change here: "I found myself sliding sideways until I hung upside down a couple times. My trainers found this abundantly amusing. It amazes me that with all their howling, they manage to stay on their own brooms. “Your grip is too loose, Kluge.” Davies was explaining to me when we heard the first shriek."

Is it an intentional switch between past and present tense? I tried to think of it chronological but it just didn't really make a lot of sense to me, hence me mentioning it here! (But maybe I just didn't get it right)

Also, I didn't really understand why there would be someone screaming at the Quidditch Pitch - or why screams from the castle would be heard all the way to the Quidditch pitch if they discovered the prank. Maybe you could explain this a bit more? ;)


I'm really glad that Annette got some recognition for her treatment of Ronan. But I was also wondering - first, there was Hagrid finding out about a fox. And then there were the teachers, knowing that it was her. Do they know that she is an animagus? If so, it's quite a serious matter that would be taken to the ministry, no? Because every Animagus has to be registered... Or did they hear it from Ronan who saw her in her human form...?

I just LOVED the scene between her and Al. (It will be all the more awkward when he finds out that Fufu is her haha...looking forward to that!) He's such a sweet and thoughtful person, I think I have a crush on him! haha. The way he immediately sees her scars, wants to help her and trusts her. I hope she will get over herself and try to approach him in some way - after all she has the advantage of him babbling all kind of things to her! Such as the fact that he doesn't hate her, but actually thinks that she hates him. or the fact that he thinks a lot about her...

Looking forward to more!!

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Review #2, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: A Collection of Confusing Conversations

28th October 2014:
Ahh finally I'm taking the time to review. And I'm lagging behind 3 chapters!! :( *cries*

After the last chapter, which was mainly about Annette's thoughts and herself coming to terms with what has happened to her over the last few months, this one was a lot about her interacting with people. Which is SO cool, because after her internal debates wheather friendships were even necessary, she now get's the answer in practice. And as we now, experience is the best teacher.

I have to ask: WHO the hell IS Bob? I just didn't get the joke, I feel exactly as helpless as Anette and Lindstroem. Is there something foreigners just don't get??!!! Please tell me!

I thought her cleverness to anticipate people's reactions was greatly shown in the fighting scene (he actually hurt himself! just great application of her non-magical pranks!...and martial arts training), as well as in her interaction with Scorpius. But the curiosity is just unbearable now. Scorpius seems to know SOMETHING. But not her relationship with his father? Why? How? Did he notice her eyes? Ahh.. suspense!

I think you put a lot of thought into your story and there are many details the readers will not know (of course, this is always the case with stories...) But I would really, really love it, if you would give more details about what is happening in between the major scenes. How she experiences classes (Those with Cunningham were awesome), her routines, her observations besides analyzing the conversations etc.

Now reading on! :)

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Review #3, by ShinichaHormones: The Court Case

28th October 2014:
Ahh amazing chapter. As always!
I really love how the relationship between Fred and Ryan develops, how they get closer (and are so inventive about coming up with excuses to help each other out)
I was a bit disappointed that Ryan didn't get a Dobby for Original Character, because her character development is just so convincing and I love her so much!

I have to admit though that the court scene seemed a tad rushed to me. I have NO idea about how law works (just those TV shows where there's a "objection" thrown in every few moments)... How come that noone ever saw or bothered to see that the transactions were rigged, even though it was so apparent? And why did Zonko crumble at the first mention? I just thought with all the corruption scandals we're confronted with every day in the newspaper in the "real world", this one was a little bit too easy to overcome. However, I do understand that this isn't but one part in a plot that isn't about wizarding law but something else, so I understand why the main thing that had to be conveyed was Ryan's effort helping, the future of the shop, and James and Freddie making an impact with their new ideas at the store (I'm really looking forward to more store-stories, and how George is going to react to the changes they've implanted)

I was so releaved to read George's letter. It was more of his sparkly self, even though he's clearly unhappy about his situation. It somehow made me feel that after he entrusted his son with his shop that he cares about so much, this letter shows even more that he has faith in Fred, not talking about how to do things, or apologizing, but making jokes and really leaving it up to Fred. That would (on one hand, if it were me in Fred's position) freak me out, but on the other hand assure me that he's trying to get better and trust Fred completely.

Also, I want to punch Zonko.

One thing I noticed, I think here "considered" was supposed to be another verb:

"It considered me she had so many ideas on that subject."

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Review #4, by ShinichaClash: Him

2nd October 2014:
I really cannot understand what became of Harry ... I obviously don't know much yet, but for what reason did he torment persons on a regular basis ... what did he train Albus for, and who is reading his memories out of the pensieve. It couldn't be Rose, she seems to not know all the details the Pensieve apparently holds. But can Muggles use them? (as in Walter)

I think what happened to Albus is really horrible. I have difficulty to grasp his character, no matter how it was shaped by his past. I can't wait to get to know him better so that I will maybe understand him a little bit better. I'm also dying of curiosity as to why he would want to know to bring people back from the dead. It couldn't be "Tommy"? He doesn't seem to care for this kind of thing, although his mentions of Malfoy as a "pureblood friend" was somewhat worrying. So much confusion.
I also cannot wait to see what happens with Scorpius. Rose blamed some of Al's development on him, after all. Too strange.

Needless to say, this chapter was breathtaking and amazing.

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Review #5, by ShinichaClash: Her

2nd October 2014:
Wow, that was a hard-to-digest first chapter. I think your writing is amazing - I especially enjoyed the imagined dialogues - it sets the mood right from the start. Your characters have so much personality already from so little interaction, which is really stunning.

And then the story. There are so many questions for now that I think I won't ask one of them - the story will tell me eventually. Im am intrigued by the fact that Rose did not admit to the statement, that there was no more magic in the world. I'm horrified by the thought that the characters I am yet to meet (like Albus) will be dead at some point in this story. I am infinitely curious about the mentioned war, and about what happened to Ron and Hermione. I'm also pretty amazed by the thoughts on magic and the desciption of the spell. So woah. Conclusion: Overwhelming and exciting.

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Review #6, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: An Intense Session of Introspection

2nd October 2014:
Wow, this chapter was amazing, seriously, SO great. We know so much more now about her inner life and it helped a LOT to understand her actions and reactions. You really made her introversion so understandable and I feel much more able to empathize with her than before.

The part I probably loved most was her analyzing the contraditory and complementary quality of her emotions and thoughts and how they connect to different environments in school and at home. It's just WOW. And then the way she tries to get to the core of her feelings and hints at the solution to her dilemma (as in "maybe involvement can give meaning to conversations thus solve the interruption of 'pointless' time" ..paraphrazing your MUCH more elegant way of explaining)

I also loved how she tries to figure out the difference between Al and "others" and why she thinks more about him than everybody else.

And ah it's so good how she figures out his actions by trying to put herself in his position and woah, how she manages to filter the most important questions for her out of the mass of thoughts. I love you so much for this chapter and I can't wait to find out what the consequences of these will be once she's back to school.

I hope you don't mind me pointing out a few things:
When she talks about her parents it says "They've known me all their life.", although technically they've known her all HER life.

When she starts reminiscing about her time with Al it just says "he" right from the start. Maybe you should mention his name at the beginning? (Even though its deductable from the context who she's talking about)

Then this sentence: "There was I time I" - one too many I's ;)

And here: "With this balance, my work because meaningful" I think you meant to say "becomes".

I'm sorry if I'm nitpicking, they're only very small things!

Thanks so much for this awesome chapter ^___^

Author's Response: Dear Shinicha,

Thank you! I am so glad you think so despite all the embarrassing mistakes that you pointed out to me that were so helpful, thank you so much for them! You are amazing! I never mind at all. Your helpfulness is invaluable to me.

It means so much to me that this chapter could do that! It's awesome to hear that you can empathaise with Annett. :D

Shinicha! Thank you! I'm so, so glad it didn't come off as boring because that's all this chapter was about, her analysing and reevaluating her own thoughts.

I wonder what conclusions she will come to when thinking about why she thinks of Al. . .

[incomprehensible 'GAHH's] THANK YOU! I was so insecure about this chapter! I love you for all your reviews!

And yes, there will be consequences. [evil grin] of what kind, though?

Thanks so much for this spectacular review!! You just made me smile a lot!

A copious amount of gratitude,
Em


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Review #7, by ShinichaOut of order: Bad Guy

29th September 2014:
This is just so VERY Hucklyberry Finn (in British)! (I love Mark Twain)

You caught Umbridge's manner of speaking SO perfectly, I could all but hear her stupid "chrm" and the toad-voice.

I'm almost a bit sad that there isn't more to find out about Mundungus' daily life and also his past. Especially his past! It sort of over-ran me right at the end of the story.

Great story! Love it!

Author's Response: I haven't had anyone compare me to Mark Twain before!! I'm a huge fan and that made me really happy.

I tried really hard to nail Umbridge's speech patterns. I'm glad I did that so well even though I didn't actually specify that it was her.

I would have been able to get further into it all, but I had just about a few hours to put it into the queue in time for the challenge deadline. I didn't even have time to edit! I actually could expand this into a short story or something maybe.

I'm really glad you liked this! I love surprise reviews :D Thank you so much!


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Review #8, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: The Extent of My Romanticism

29th September 2014:
Uhh, some romance (kind of) in this chapter :D I'm sure this is what everyone has been waiting for!

As always the interaction between Al and Annett was great, imo. It feels like you really understand these two characters of yours extremely well, especially when they are with each other. I like how you managed to get across Annett's uneasiness which she doesn't understand herself but reveals more to the reader (the way she can't get Al's words out of her head). I could almost FEEL the tension before Annett ran away. I don't think Al is really mad at her; I think her answers somehow pacified him, because she admitted that she'd thought of him as a friend. That was probably what had bothered him most... It's funny in a way that they are both angry because they feel that the other one has betrayed their friendship - only with the exact opposite line of argumentation.

However the dialogue between Teddy and Annett is a little bit confusing, especially when Carter joins. Maybe you could add more descriptive words to make clear who is talking when? (For example explaining that Carter has just appeared/creeped up, and something like "..., Annett shot back" etc.)

Also during the train ride it might be helpful if you add a few sentences to explain that they've reached London, otherwise the change between compartment-talk and parents-picking-her-up is a bit too sudden!

I can't help but wonder if Teddy will accept her present without giving her anything in return. Maybe he's planning something small to surprise her at the wedding?

I have to say, I'm just as shocked as Carter to have heard about Annett's dating history! Even though she feels so uncomfortable with closeness she even seems to have kissed that guy! Oha! Carter can't just let it go, can he...

When I read about him dating Thibault just to get information about Incog Imp I thought "wow that's SO Slytherin". He had a more Ravenclaw-y feeling to him up until that point! :D

It's SO AWESOME that her Mama called her "Suessling". Until a few minutes ago I thought this word didn't even exist and I made it up for fun to tease my boyfriend. But you actually found it (somewhere). So, thanks for teaching me a German word, hoho.

Author's Response: Hello Shinicha!

Bahaha! I try. :P

Oh. You're good. . . Well now they've got that out, we'll have to see if anything changes, won't we. ;)

Oh no! I'm sorry. I wanted Carter to just pop out of nowhere. And for Annett to be rather unfazed by this. Ill see what I can do to optimise this scene. Thank you for pointing that out. And I'll definitely make it clearer as to who is talking.

Yikes! Thank you so much for catching that. I told myself I'd edit it, but I guess I forgot to before I put it into the queue.

Hmm. . . That will have to wait until another chapter. For now, it's as if Annett has some kindess in her. For whatever reason, she does care about people and she does want to help them out in however she can. This relates to her future career.

Haha. Well it was alluded to in Wolfgang's letter in ch. 16. ;) She didn't are about the guy at all. It's almost as if she's forgotten his name, too.

I made him a Slytherin for a reason, yes. Bahaha!

Really?! That's so cute!

Thank you for another wonderful review and some very helpful pointers, Shinicha! You are amazing!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #9, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: War and An Ally

25th September 2014:
Yay another chapter!

First of all, I'm sorry if my reviews made you think that I didn't like introverts or even dislike Annett because of it. No way, I love her! I guess what I said was because of how I perceive humans in general. As social beings that need a web of connections to others in order to define themselves. But I think I was too harsh; after all you made clear that Annett's best friends were her parents, also she has Ronan, Mrs. Norris and Carter too. So she wouldn't be alone. It's true, I'm probably too much an extrovert myself to understand a personality like Annetts. Which makes it so much more exciting to read about her, because to me she's really unpredictable!

I liked that Carter got such an important part in this chapter. He never seemed to be lacking confidence (thus like someone who would get bullied), but he's so much more complex and interesting than I thought. I should've guessed it from the way he really wants to discuss magic and study with Annett! I admit I never foresaw that he'd be the one to find out about her Incog-Imp-secret! Their detective-conversation was so funny; they both knew the truth but talked in circles and still understood perfectly well what it was about. For example, if I were Annett I don't think I would've come to the conclusion that Carter is being bullied. But Annett did, because she analyzes actions and words of people so closely.
It's even more interesting that she can be quite clueless when it concerns herself. The way she thinks that the others had been avoiding her (even though they tried to invite her so many times and Al keeps watching her even after their argument). It's as if she believes that she's invisible to others!

Also, the challange! Carter being a possible assistant prankster! I simply assumed that it would be Al that would find out first, because they've been more or less close for so long. This makes up all new possibilities. (I hope she teaches Carter martial arts. And I hope Al will get jealous over their closeness.)

You asked me why I assumed that Annett is in love? I don't think that it's love necessarily, but I think she finds Al far more interesting and follows him more closely than she realises herself. And obviously, as an Al-Fan, I'm very biased, haha.

I'm so happy that the cure for Ronan is working! Poor Annett, she's blaming herself too much, as if it was her fault that he's become that sick. The fact that Hagrid knows someone is helping is just another thread of the story... I wonder if or how people will find out her secrets. There are quite a lot possibilities by now! The last few chapters opened up many different ways the story can take from now on, which is good because that makes it less obvious (I love good suprises). But after these chapters to move along the plot, now's probably be the time to follow up all these different threads and get a bit action in! :)

I was really impressed by her expermenting in the greenhouses. You really plan your story very carefully; like the thing about boron and dittany and the potions-incident. Do you study chemistry or biology? I couldn't even think of dreaming up all these things...

I do find it a bit unrealistic that Fred, Roxie and James can just announce that they PLAN on causing lots of trouble in front of everyone and the teachers don't even say anything. Of course they don't have any evidence yet, but it seems quite risky nevertheless!

And before I forget to mention it: I love Annett's misunderstandings about the English language. It fits her personality, that she cannot really go with the flow in that respect, since she always over-analyzes things. I do wonder what that joke would have been, haha :D

Author's Response: Woot another review from Shinicha!

Hello, there!

No, not at all, Shinicha! I'm sorry that I made you think that was the case. And I am so thrilled to hear that you love her! You are so sweet.

It is so very open-minded and generally awesome of you to read about an extreme and peculiar introvert. I adore you all the more for that. It's my goal to help extroverts explore the inside of an introvert's mind!

Isn't he?! I'm delighted to hear that you think so. Carter's adorable. I have a bit of a soft spot for him. Thank you for saying that about their roundabout conversation it went through so many edits. I'm so happy it turned out okay.

She really is! She hasn't really thought too much about how she fits into everything until ch. 14. But even then she has not reached any significant conclusions. Here, with everything going on, she's especially out of it.

But Shinicha! Al and Annett are mad at each other. Do you know what would happen if they even tried to talk right now? You will soon. ;)

We shall see if your thoughts are true [waggles eyebrows].

She's mostly blaming herself for not getting it done quick enough. She had to go through so many hypotheses and she felt that she was wasting her time with other people. She is a bit harsh on herself, but that drives her determination in a way. Not very healthy, I know, but that's who she is.

So many, many possibilities! I hope you enjoy (and are surprised by) the one I made up. Action will most definitely be gotten into (kind of) in the next chapter. It's going to be a bit of a transition. I won't drag the story out unnecessarily. I promise. There will be the necessary developments because developing needs to be done. That is an awkward sentence (I'm sorry), but I don't want to spoil anything for you.

I do. I try. Thank you so much for noticing.

I study both! :D

It is at this moment, isn't it, but they have their rules. And the teachers can't do anything because they haven't done anything. . . yet. I'll explain this more later, I promise that too. I like to tie up loose ends. Most of them, anyway.

So do I. I would have loved to hear that one. I am relieved to hear that you find it fits her. Thank you!

Bahh! Shinicha. I love these discussions with you. Thank you so much for showing interest in this story. It makes me so happy!

Cheers,
Em :D


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Review #10, by ShinichaKeep Away: Perry Practice

22nd September 2014:
Oliver's behaviour confuses me the more I read about him. Really, why is he trying so hard to give Jane an actual chance...? Maybe he appreciated her caring for Quidditch (without playing it). After all, he did notice that she'd had a subsciption for the Quidditch magazine for two years. So it has to be the Quidditch or herself as a person that made him do it! ... Right, I'll stop playing detective now, the story's finished after all *chrm*

His fan-base is hilarious - one of the best extras in this AU! Their banner is creepily close to worshipping rather than cheering, haha...

I do wonder about the aftermath of Jane not telling her best friends about the try-out. If I were them I'd probably assume some secret love story between Oliver and Jane, just like Alicia. why else would he know about it (give her his broom) and they didn't?

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Review #11, by ShinichaKeep Away: Spreading the Word

22nd September 2014:
So, after I've been spoilered by the Keeper's Daughter I came back to read Gee's parents' story!

I'm already in love with Jane - she's way too proud and stubborn! But then again, that's what makes the story. (mine would have ended with me admitting to everyone I couldn't fly in my first year.)

I'm surprised to have Angelina be the serious one, I always imagined her to be a joker, like Fred, and only really scary-serious when Captaining. I'm looking forward to your version of Angelina over the course of this story.

I'm also happy to hear a bit more about Katy and Alicia, somehow I managed to miss out on any fanfictions with them in more prominent roles so far.

Also, I can't wait to get to know that side of Oliver that I know from Keepers Daughter! Right now I just think how mean he is for spilling her secret to the twins even though it was part of the deal not to do it.
Although ... maybe it's his way of trying to find her help to learn flying? Why is he even interested in her trying out? Maybe he's more than simply annoyed by her? Have to read on, now, immediately!

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Review #12, by ShinichaSearching For Forever: The Thing About Weddings

22nd September 2014:
Soo, I haven't read any of you other stories - I don't know why I picked this when I went through your author's page (I have a suspicion it's because I like red and the banner was red and lovely...)

I think it's pretty amazing that you created your own universe and manage to write so many stories from different angles that would fit together. After this I have to read some others!

I have to admit Lily's recent history with boyfriends made me laugh a bit. It's just too absurd! And quite impressive, to maintain a lie for such a long time. Looking forward to more!

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Review #13, by ShinichaThe Wandering One : Flanders Fields

21st September 2014:
I really enjoy your short stories so far, it makes me want to travel, too! The way you mix wizarding history with Muggle history and fit in small stories is really great. It has a certain tranquility to it.

I also love Victoire; I somehow never quite warmed up to the Delacours, but your Victoire makes up for it. The way she appreciates different experiences and her compassion for the giant and the ghosts...

Sam is a funny character; at first I thought he would be more of a cynic (the way he snorted into his black coffee when Alexander hit on Victoire...) but he's more of an artsy-calm guy. Very hipster, haha. I bet he'll like Berlin!

I hope you don't mind me correcting your German, it would be "Hallo" or "Guten Tag mein Name ist Victoire" (I don't think Grub is a word, I have no idea where Google Translate takes it from)
Also "Sie sprechen Deutsch, huebsche junge Dame" (ziemlich is more like "pretty much" and saying "young lady" seems more fitting for a man his age) ;)

Looking forward to the next chapters and cities!

Author's Response: Hello!! :)

Ahh, thank you!! This review was so lovely to receive. I'm so glad you like the traveling stories and it's exciting to hear that it's inspiring you to travel as well. This story has been so lovely for me to work on and I love how you used the word "tranquility" - I definitely know what you mean, though I'm not sure how to express it.

Thank you! :D I'm so glad you like my Victoire. I never was a big fan of that family until I started writing her, and now they're one of my favourite Weasley families. I felt that since she was the eldest cousin and Bill's daughter, she would have both that responsible and compassionate quality while also a thirst for adventure.

Sam is quite hipster, haha! I love how you picked up on that. He's pretty laid back as well, and cynical in a quiet way, but he and Victoire get along quite well since they have so much in common.

Thank you!! :) That's so helpful, Google Translate is so confusing haha. I'll fix that right away.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review, it really made my day receiving it and made me so happy in responding just now. ♥


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Review #14, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Trapdoor of Piranhas

19th September 2014:
At my last review I forgot to mention that I positively loved Annett's thoughts about feelings. How to measure them, and what criteria one would need... I think she should study Dialectics, that would help her open her mind a bit!
Even though I have to say that she's right - love is very vague and don't we all know that we can suppress it and not realise it? Just like Annett herself. (Hopefully :P )

I like to think that she has a sort of friendship with Teddy. But do find it somewhat unrealistic that he would just take the ring for free! He should probably give her something as thank you... thinking that he is her teacher too! (Even though since Dumbledore and Harry we know that teacher-student relationships can be very intimate without being creepy)

I'm glad that she's making progress with the medicine, but I'm a little bid sad an disappointed that she didn't ask Al for help. And also, that they aren't talking!

All the rumours about her are really mean and farfetched. But I can't completely blame the students, because, after all, it does seem just very un-normal not to have any social life (by choice.) But still, after the students saw her being humiliated by the teacher EVERY lesson since the first it's just hugely unfair to think she's being evil! She just proved her being right!!

Author's Response: It was great fun to write! But can you imagine her in such a class? She prefers working objective things rather than subjective things.

You imply a very interesting question: Is Annett in love? What makes you think so?

In a later chapter, I get back to this issue about Teddy and the ring and explain it. ;)

But they've only just fought, Shinicha! Bahaha. Can you believe if they had to talk when the Argument is still fresh? Can you imagine what would happen in that case?

It is actually not 'un-normal not to have any social life (by choice).' Wow, there are a lot of negatives going on in that sentence. What I mean is, this story is about exploring introversion. It's a perfectly normal thing although not all introverts are similar. There are different kinds and different degrees of introversion.

That's a fair point, but when she's silent and glaring. She's not humiliated, she's annoyed and her classmates see this. It is because of this that they think she has a heart of stone and an air of indifference. They think she is incapable of caring because, on the surface, that is what it seems.


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Review #15, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: As Cunning as Ham

19th September 2014:
Yayay! I'm so happy, all my wishes from my last review came true! ScroRose and the stupid teacher! Show her, HA! I wonder what it means for Annett - will she get detention? Will she get recognition?

The news about Ronan I am not happy about ): So now the medicine she thought she could use would rather kill him than the parasite? I wonder why she never tries to get help. I'm sure the potions master would be delighted. Or Al! He's a potions genius, maybe he could think of a way.

But then again I understand that she doesn't want to risk other stupid comments and misunderstandings about Muggle science... Now that I think of it, it's really amazing that apparently Magic Healing has never bothered to learn about DNA and the functioning of non-human Beings! Or maybe they have? Can't wait to read what Anett finds out!

Author's Response: Bahaha! It was quite scary how you predicted that all, Shinicha. I'm losing my confidence in being able to surprise you.

Professor Slughorn has tried, remember. All of the professors have. And they couldn't do much. For Al, she have to tell him about Fufu. I don't suppose she's okay with that. It's more complicated. How inconvenient, right? ;)

And your mentioned all that I've wanted to say in that last paragraph! Healing could also use some updates.

I can't wait to read what else you've said.


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Review #16, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: How

19th September 2014:
Ha, I was right!! (well okay, I only had to look up Wikipedia.) I even remember that in one of the chapters you mentioned Davies bug (I thought someoone had accidentally swallowed it? Don't remember exactly now)

I love Annett in detective-mode. But I think it would be great if the more general story would also move along at the same time, so that it doesn't happen in sequences but in a more natural mix of events, if you get what I mean..?

True, Lily's found out about Al's insomnia. What will his family do with this information? Why does he get it? Why is he so stressed and anxious? Also, what about Rose and Scorpius?

And I'm still burning to know about the Draco-thing. Not to mention this stupid teacher. I can't wait until she's proven wrong!

I hope Ronan can be healed, and I hope this will have some big consequences for Annett, finally forcing her out of her shell!

Author's Response: Shinicha,

Thank you for yet another review! :D

About the fly, Peakes only 'looks' like he's swallowed it when he sees Annett because that's just his face when he's frightened.

And yes! You were right! :D

Hmm. I see what you mean. Thank you for pointing that out, I will use it to improve upon these chapters. I just want to show that Annett has focused her attention completely on Ronan's illness and nothing else matters to hear at this point. She's obsessed. In this chapter, she can't think about anything else. On the next chapter, however. . .

What will Lily do? We don't get to find out until Annett does. ;)

It's there somewhere, the Draco thing. I am sure you can find the clue(s). ;)

You hope Annett will be extroverted at the end? You don't like introverts? [puppy dog eyes and some sniffling]


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Review #17, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: A Provoked Bärchen

19th September 2014:
I can't quite believe that what they had was a one-sided understanding. But it ´kind of makes sense, Al putting up with whatever Annett wants because he wants to know her and be her friend... Still, I really don't think he deserved that outburst! Even though it just proves, how much attention she played to him over the years. Maybe that will give him something to think about!

Also I looked up "Kinetoplastea" and I think the symptoms mostly match with sleeping sickness! Is that what it is? Would be very mysterious, it gets transmitted by the tsetse fly, which is not exactly at home in Scottish climate. But who knows! Can't wait to find out the answer!

Also: I think it would be easier for the eye to read the text if there weren't these sections in bold, where Al and Annett talk with raised voices. Maybe you could describe in words how it is supposed to sound? I just find the bold and cursive parts a bit distracting! ;)

Author's Response: Dear Shinicha,

Most conflict does come from misunderstanding and miscommunication. It's much too fun to exploit this fact.

If only Annett had a search engine and access to the internet! Alas! :P

Thank you once more for reading and reviewing! :D

Cheers,
Em


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Review #18, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: The Looming Threat of Explosions

19th September 2014:
I do enjoy science when you write about it! However it would be super-helpful if you could explain some things a little bit (right now I'm looking up all the words I don't understand haha...)

You're really good at torturing your readers! ;) The fact, that Annett just doesn't care very much about what is happening to others makes me all the more curious, when she doesn't ask any questions. This way we're left with all this little mysteries! I'm about to burst!! (I'm not complaining, it makes the story quite enthralling) Like, what's the matter with Carter? Is it about Annett? Why is he hurt?
Why doesn't she ask her parents for advice? (they should be able to when it's about identifying parasites, no?)

So much to look forward to!

Author's Response: I am super relieved that you do not find it off at all! It delights me to hear that you love it when I write about it! I will edit to explain the process more and why she's doing seemingly random things and playing with her chemicals. Thank you for your extremely helpful advice. :D

Are you typing me out to be some kind of sadistic writer, Shinicha? Bahaha! Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment.

Yes, it's frustrating, but Annett is so frustrated that she can't afford to think very much besides getting rid of whatever is harming Ronan.

Oh your questions make me squee! I can't wait until you find out so I can hear what you think (hopefully, if you'll like to read on and leave me more reviews maybe, possibly, if you like).

They should, but they're in England. She cannot do enough to have them identify it right away. She'd have to send a sample of blood. Because that blood is infected (gasp, spoiler, but you've read everything that's been posted already), it's very risky.

There is a chance that the owl (the only method of sending things to her parents right now) might break the vial and cut him/herself leading to infection. I will add this explanation to provide clarification. Thank you for pointing this out. I always benefit from your reviews.

Looking forward to more reviews from you,
Em ;)


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Review #19, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Between Detention, Disease, and Domestication

19th September 2014:
Thanks for the chapter :)

What are all the Wotters doing at night in the Room of Requirement? Just hanging out? Or are they planning something?
It's funny that Scorpius understands Annett so well, even in her Animal-form. I still wonder about her mysterious connection with the Malfoys!

Also: poor Al :( He's been so happy and hopeful talking to her more, and now she's back to ignoring her. I hope she asks someone for help! (And maybe look up some Muggle-books on illnesses...!)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review ;)

Yes, they just hang out. Sometimes they have Exploding Snap Competitions. Sometimes they study. Sometimes they capture Animagi and make them unwilling pets.

He is very perceptive. I'm anxious for you to read on to the chapters I have yet to post yet because he does show up more later.

How are you able to be so correct so many times, Shinicha?!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all these reviews! I love reading them.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #20, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: How I Receive My First Detention

19th September 2014:
I think you described Annett being in a crowd really well. The way she percepts the emotions of others, how it makes her feel, how she tries to rationalise it.

In general you make interactions between your characters very unique. Like Annett, analysing Al's every little movement in order to get a picture of where they stand between each other.

I laughed a bit about the kiss, how she conveniently avoided the word, as if it was a far too unscientific way to describe his actions!

And also, despite her seemingly cold manner of telling the story, I can really feel with her. I felt so bad for her right at the end of the chapter, when she feels a bit panicky about all the attention!

Author's Response: Dear Shinicha,

You just touched upon one of the most difficult things for me to write and you complimented the way I did it. That means so much to me. Thank you! :D

Your compliments have me gushing, Shinicha! You are too kind.

Bahaha! It would be! You caught that!

Aww, Shinicha. . . Are you warming up to Annett? It endears me to hear that you "can really feel with her." Annett is indeed not as straight-fowardly emotionally detached as I portray her for the majority of the story thus far.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts! :D

Cheers,
Em


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Review #21, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Exclamations of Merlin’s Extensive Collection of Lingerie

19th September 2014:
I love you for this chapter!!
The way Al treats Fufu is so incredibly cute and her reaction is too. The way they were communicating Al must have either a very good connection with animals in general.. or he has no clue about them, because WHAT fox would actually react to be named terrible petnames and correct questions about its own sex! haha... their "conversation" was the best! I hop there will be more Fufu/Al action in the future. Poor him, just when he thought he'd found a new pet...

Also, as the chaptertitle promises, Merlin gets to wear a really interesting combination of underclothes, LOL

With her injuries Al is bound to notice something though, isn't he? I mean he's supposed to dance with her that evening! (Or so I hope)

I hope you don't mind me pestering you about the German. (if so, just say it and I'll stop) German is a really awful language for colorful cursing, because really, all we use is "Scheisse" in all variations. "verdammte Scheisse" "verquirlte Scheisse" "Scheissdreck" etc. So most young people just use English words, haha. Anyways, what I wanted to say is, "Zum Donnerwetter" is quite oldfashioned. How about "Verdammter Mist" or (more surprised) "Was zum Henker.."

Author's Response: Dear Shinicha,

I chose 'Zum Donnerwetter' for that very reason. Haha. Annett is not going to talk like most young people. Even in the future. :P Notice how formal she speaks even in English? She's not normal at all.

But I don't mind you pestering me. I love to explain my choices. :D And I always welcome your corrections for me where needed (like with 'Guten Nacht' twice!! [facepalm] sometimes my brain just doesn't work).

Bahaha. You raise a good point about Al and his treating Fufu the way he does. He probably just thinks she's very smart for a fox.

Will they dance? And will he notice, indeed?

Thank you for your abundant reviews! I cannot believe how quickly you went through that!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #22, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: A Night of Discoveries

19th September 2014:
Huh, what happened just now? Wow that was.. unexpected!
I liked that you got the political dilemma of Beings/Beasts in there, I was always a bit bothered when I read "Fantastic Beasts" (and I would die to know more about Goblin rebellions etc)

I have no idea what could possible bother the Centaur! But maybe Annett will now find out more about the connection of magical and muggle maladies? :) I do hope she will find a cure. She must! But then I wonder if it has to do with something else, bigger. (is it Al? He also has bloodshot eyes! And smells of trees!.. Okay sorry, I'll stop bothering you with Al haha)

You wrote in an answer to a review that the mystery about Draco was somewhere hidden in a chapter. I really can't imagine where or what it would be! Maybe I should reread...

Ah so many mysteries and so much suspense! I think your story improves with every chapter, it's so much fun to see the personality of the different character show.

Also I just wanted to say "goodnight" is "Gute Nacht" in German, without the n ;)

Author's Response: Shinicha!

I'm always happy to surprise readers. ;)

Goblin Rebellions?! You're giving me ideas for a story here.

No! I like hearing what you think! It's no bothersome at all. :)

I did. Didn't I? Yes. Machiko and her sister had a really good guess.

You think so?! DANKE! That's so wonderful of you to say.

Well, I haven't much aptitude for the regular, anyway. That's why I love this website. There are so many great stories that are very unique and special.

Oh dear! I'm horrible, I know. This chapter has gone through many changes even before it was posted. I cannot believe I missed the simplest error! Thank you very much, Shinicha! :D you are so very helpful.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #23, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Exploring Hormonal Minds

19th September 2014:
I loved this chapter. To see Annett how she deals with social interaction and questions all those funny details. The bonding-analogy was really beautiful!

Right now I'm trying really hard to imagine a flirty Al. It doesn't really go into my head, haha. But so is a blushing Annett! Very cute.

The idea for the Indian festivities is nice (I'd love some Indian food right now, nom)

And WHY does Annett have ANYTHING to do with Draco Malfoy? What??

Author's Response: Dear Shinicha,

I'm thrilled you're enjoying Annett's internal monologue.

Bahaha. I know it's hard to imagine, but they're only joking around. I look at these two kids and I sigh as a mother would. They are adorable, aren't they?

I do love my multiculturalism. Indian food? Oh me too! Please share!

All will be explained, Shinicha. ;) Until then, I'd love to hear your theories on it. I do love reading theories, hence my love for your reviews.

Danke schoen! Thank you for another amazing review!

Cheers,
Em


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Review #24, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Satisfying Humiliation

19th September 2014:
So, that was the prank. Quite elaborate, so many practical slapstick moments. The toad! *laughes* Its interesting to know that Anett now wears her hear long enough again for her Medusa-hair - I think it fits her better anyway :)

As to your questions:

I do hope that the aftermath is more pranks! haha. Not immediately, but eventually, it would be cool when the other pranksters find out about Incog Imp and they do something together.

I think this kind of event will get to Annett somehow. Especially the others would definitely like to spend more time with her. Maybe she has reservations at first. Maybe it needs a nother little push before she could actually call them friends. Maybe it's about Als secret? *hopeful puppy eyes*

To be honest, I still find her very hard to understand, so she's kinda unpredictable to me. I wonder if there will be a payback by Yang? For now he just seems like a little bit dumb macho guy, so maybe he's not really capable of it. Who knows!

Reading on.. ^^

Author's Response: Dear Shinicha,

Thank you for this wonderful review!

I'm delighted to hear that you enjoyed the prank! It had to be elaborate with so many people involved and all the school's master pranksters, too.

To the hopeful puppy eyes, I give you an evil grin that hopefully doesn't give too much away. ;)

You raise quite a few things that relate to other things that come up in unreleased chapters. I cannot say any more.

She's not too easy to understand. She's a very complex character like real-life people are. I try not to create so many straight-forward ones even Yang and Cunningham have their rationales in my mind.

Do you know how surprised I was to find so many new reviews from you? You are like some kind of reviewing machine on a rampage. Lol. Of the good kind, of course. Of the kind that I appreciate and am so grateful for, of course. :D

Cheers,
Em


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Review #25, by ShinichaThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Out of the Shadows and into the Limelight

18th September 2014:
Okay. I. HATE. this. teacher. Not even the worst conservative teacher at my conservative school was as bad as she is! I can't believe it! I'm SO looking forward to the payback (there must be one!!)

Soo, what's going on with Al? Why does he have insomnia? What's his secret? (I mean, why does he smell like PINE trees?!) I can't wait to find out! Or rather, I can't wait for Annett to find out and how it'll change their relationship...

Also, Annetts theoretical knowledge on love is quite amusing,poor bloke, doesn't have the faintest idea he's being played with!

I'm somehow glad that she didn't know about the Room of Requirement - she can't know everything, that would be just too perfect.

Author's Response: Paybacks on teachers are going to be very difficult. There are more risks. I neither confirm nor deny anything. :D

I love all the questions you ask, Shinicha! I love it when there are questions I can't answer because it would spoil things. It's weird, but it's true. It's fun to read.

Oh no! Annett is not perfect at all! She's creepy. ;)

Thank you again for another fun review! :D I love reading your thoughts (as in your reviews, not your actual thoughts, just the ones you type out, reading actual thoughts would be creepy).

Cheers,
Em


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