Reading Reviews From Member: NaidatheRavenclaw
577 Reviews Found

Review #26, by NaidatheRavenclawThe Chronicles of Love at Hogwarts: The Hogwarts Express

18th July 2012:
Y'know, I'm not a huge fan of Draco pairings, but this was written surprisngly well for having both Ginny and Hermione with a love interest in Draco. Ron was my favorite. Out of the three characters in the Trio, I think he was characterized the best, especially with that bit at the end ;)

Hermione bursting into tears was a bit OOC, but I suppose that we never really saw her in love except with Ron in canon, and she did cry a lot when he left :P I really liked your ending sentences and how you brought it back to friendship in the end.

One thing you might want to do is space out your dialogue. It's a bit cramped right now which makes it difficult to read.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this! Nice work :)



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Review #27, by NaidatheRavenclawSnowflakes and Violets: First Date and Christmas at the Burrow

18th July 2012:
Awwwhh, this was really cute! I adored the fluffy moments coupled with the awkward moments of the rest of the Weasleys. I'm a huge Teddy/Victoire fan and this was a lovely chapter. I especially loved Teddy's corny pickup line, haha.

The Weasleys were written really well, with their gentle teasing of Teddy and Victoire. I could almost feel their embarassment :P But that's what you get with such a large family, I suppose.

It was a great, simple piece. You wrote it exactly as they might think it, which was really effective for portraying the emotions you wanted. Great job!



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Review #28, by NaidatheRavenclawRumors to Keep Secret: Their Secrets Keep

18th July 2012:
Hi there! This was a really nice one shot :) I liked that it was from Hagrid's perspective. It was new and different, but I think you captured him really well. He is sweet and loyal, and I do think that this could be his reaction to being framed for her death. And the last line, that was adorable. It added a whole new persepctive to the story and I almost wish there was more.

Just one typo I caught: "Her body lie there dead" That should be laid there dead ;)

Honestly, I think this was really sweet, well written, and a great moment that not a lot of people think about. Nice job!



Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm still working on rewriting this. I'm glad that you liked it though!

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Review #29, by NaidatheRavenclawCuriosity: Beginnings.

18th July 2012:

It's been so long since I read this story, I forgot about Crazy-Cassie :P James and her are a lovely couple though (sorry I'm so reviewed out right now and I've only left like not even 15 what is wrong with me). The bit at the end was my favorite. That is so cool :D I can't blame Cassie for being embarassed (I keep wanting to type Grace see what I mean D:) but that power would be amazing. The thing with the locket was like...just plain awesome. Though really Harry, why would you keep that? And in some random drawer, no less.

James was fun too. He was really whiny. Sort of annoying if I'm honest. Eurgh. This is actually sort of confusing because there's three different James's in the stories I'm reading of you and I have different opinions on all of them yet they're still sort of the same and that's WEIRD :P But this James needs to grow up.

But yes, still loved this chapter of course and I really want to know more about Grace's gift but as of now I reallly need a break from reviewing so I don't go insane so YAY. BE BACK LATER :D


Author's Response: "I've only left 15 reviews..." your a crazy woman, I tell you, and you left me so many reviews on this one day so I'm on a total responding spree so I sort of feel like I'm having a very delayed conversation with you.

I think you did type Grace in one of the other reviews. It made me laugh, actually. But, yeaassh Cassie is crazy and james is annoying. Lol, I get confused myself. TOO MANY JAMES'S. The thing is, Naida, there's another James in NJAB and another James in SSTTAP and all in all, after these are finished I never want to write about a character called James ever again.

AHHA, right there. There's a Grace/Cassie substituion but I'm forgiving you here because you're awesome and incredible and THIS IS ME DONE WITH THIS REVIEW

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Review #30, by NaidatheRavenclawSilence in the Library: The TARDIS

18th July 2012:

So of course, I'm going to talk about the Doctor Who episode watching bit first because DOCTOR WHO. At first I was mad at Oliver because TIME LORDS ARE AMAZING AND HE WAS BEING MEAN TO THE DOCTOR >:( Which episode did she show him, I wonder? Hopefully one from Ten's run. With Rose? Except Donna has some of the best monsters...hmmm...Okay, got sidetracked, sorry :P So I forgave him when Penny did. Approval of the Daleks is necessary to be a boy I like. As is the ability to cook ;)

And the party was great. Laughed inwardly at Percy and Audrey (he stayed over at her flat, how SCANDALOUS :P) and all the Quidditch people getting back together. And yay for going to Spain and random emotional breakdowns! And the TARDIS. Oh Oliver, you have much to learn. And I adored the appropriately cheesy ending :D

Yay finished another one of your stories! And erhm I think Curiosity is next on my list soo TO CURIOSITY I GO!


Author's Response: OOH HAI THERE NAIDA. You brought this review count up to a nice number and for that I shall be ever thankful. I like round nummbersss

Also, this really was very fluffy. I'm sure I had an actual episode in mind when I wrote this, but I'm honestly not sure which one it is anymore. I might look back over this and try to work it out for you because your reviews are cutsie. But, ack Ten/Rose is just like lovelovelove and Ten/Donna is an advert for friendship shipping (which I whole heartedly embrace) AND OH PERCY/AUDREY. I enjyoed writing that a lot and ack, yes, I just thought this was a very cheesy ending that I wasn't expecting but THERE WE GO


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Review #31, by NaidatheRavenclawSilence in the Library: The Cyberman

18th July 2012:
AHH THAT WAS BRILLIANT. And seriously, I want a boyfriend exactly like Oliver. He gets more adorable every chapter. If I ever have a boyfriend remotely like him, I promise I will tell him "I love you because you're like Helen's Oliver Wood" and then he can look at me like I'm crazy :D No seriously, I really want this to happen :P

But their talk about feeelings was good and all that. It was like...appropriately awkward because feelings talks just /have/ to be awkward to be any good and then YAY DOCTOR WHO FIXES EVERYTHING. Lol loved the comparison of Oliver to a cyberman. And the not-so-subtle-Percy-Audrey-shipping. You are a genius.

I loved Audrey's decision that Percy still likes Penny when it's quite obvious as to who he does like. Though that would be one interesting double date... Ahaha I'm glad it works out for Percy and Audrey in the end. And yay for a story with only five chapters so I'm not woefully behind!


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Review #32, by NaidatheRavenclawSilence in the Library: The Companion

18th July 2012:
I'm baaack! :D

Ahhahha that last paragraph was love. TWO ships in ONE story? :O What is this madness :P Note to self- do not use emoticons after every sentence xD CANT STOP DOING IT D: OKAY SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.

HAha. Okay, everything's good now. Anyways, Quidditch and Oliver are a beautiful match, and it seemed like Penny enjoyed herself. Loved their debating. So much unlike the usual witty banter but even MORE awesome because who doesn't love some good Quidditch banter :D *is happy right now* That was random. Oh, and the Doctor Who references were, as always, brilliant. So much love for you :D THIS MAKES MY INNER NERD REJOICE.


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Review #33, by NaidatheRavenclawBreak Out: III.

18th July 2012:
RON. WHYYY. *sobs* This is so heart breaking. I'm glad that Luna made it out, at least, but Charlie's missing and Neville's dead and who knows what happened to Hermione. Ack, I don't even know how to describe all the emotions right now. You've written this so perfectly, this could be canon. This could be some alternate ending that JK Rowling wrote except your descriptions are so so much better than the ones in the books (shhh, don't tell :P) I'm loving the constant image of the sky and it changing. It's perfect in so many ways.

I love the debate as to whether they should go back or not. You write these characters perfectly. It's /exactly/ how I would imagine them to react and those last few lines gave me chills. So much amazingness in this chapter (yes, amazingness is a word :P)



Author's Response: -hides more information about the fates of Charlie and Hermione- It was so weird, analyzing who would make it to Shell Cottage and who wouldn't. And then it hit me just how many members of the Order died before Harry did -- like, whoa. It was a bit of an eye-opener.

CANON WOT. Oh my gosh, I cannot respond coherently anymore. I just have to thank you again for commenting on the descriptions, too! The sky is something I naturally turn to in describing things, I don't know why -- that and the weather. :P It's a crutch.

That debating bit was probably the iffiest part of the chapter for me (I didn't know whether it was necessary, or just boring as anything) so you've just lifted a massive weight from my shoulders. :3 Thank you so, so much for being so lovely and complimentary about this story!! ♥ I am so lucky to have you as a reviewer, and can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4, too!

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Review #34, by NaidatheRavenclawBreak Out: II.

18th July 2012:
Catching up on all my favorite stories for the House Cup, so yay! Here I am!

And by the way, I'm crying. NEVILLE. WHY NEVILLE. I love Neville :( I mean, Harry, fine, my guilty pleasure was that he would die, but NEVILLE. That hurt worse than Fred, right there. Part of me is still hoping that he's alive but if so, Voldemort would probably kill him anyways. Gahhh. At least he killed the snake still. That means all the horcruxes are finished so they just have to kill Voldemort (just, pfft, as if that's an easy task) and WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HERMIONE. Gah.

And your writing, I want to marry it. Your descriptions of the sky were incredible. I adored every word and you made the battle seem darker and scarier than I could have ever imagined. You and ToujoursPadfoot, you both write the best descriptions I could ever imagine. And after reading your ScoRose and now reading something so much darker and more action packed, I'm completely in awe of how your writing style works with so many different genres. It's incredible.



Author's Response: Bonjour, Naida! :3 I really didn't mean to make people so sad with Neville's death; I didn't realize how a lot of people thought of him, but then again, he's the Gryffindor champion, isn't he? I actually thought he was going to die in DH, though (he came so close!), so there we have it. Hermione's chapter is coming up next, and all will be revealed there!

♥ You are lovely. That is all. (Okay, no it's not.) A lot of my one-shots are more stylistic and imagery-based, whereas my novellas and novels are more straightforward, and I wanted to sort of cross the two in writing this. Everything here is new to me, the deliberation and determination in plotting and getting everything /just so/ so events can work out as they're intended. It's tricky, a bit like a puzzle, but comments like yours make it all worth it. I'm so happy you like my descriptions!

YOU DO HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER TO READ. Thank you so much for dropping back by this and taking the time to catch up! It really meant a lot to me to see that, and I'm just so, so happy you like this story.

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Review #35, by NaidatheRavenclawRun: Tradition

18th July 2012:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I think it's today...? Maybe? :P *doesn't have time to check*

THis chapter was absolutely hilarious. Oh my gosh, I couldn't stop laughing from the time Cedric went down the chimney (and I got some very strange looks from my mum :P). I can't believe Dumbledore lives with Grindelwald. Aha. That's genius. Grindelwald has to be my new favorite character. He was /brilliant/ with all his threats and pulling down Cedric's trousers. That was awesome.

Regulus creeped me out a little bit :P I liked his banter with Fred, though. I could picture that first scene perfectly, with him throwing a rock through the window and then Fred chucking it right back. Only Fred ♥ It was nice to have a lighthearted chapter after all the darker stuff and you wrote this so well too.

Finally all caught up, yay! :D


Author's Response: You're caught up! Woo! And thank you for the happy birthday wishes. ^ ^

I felt so bad for Dumbledore after hearing that he was once in love with Grindelwald because, as far as we know, he never had a relationship with anyone else. So for me, even though Gellert wasn't a very good guy in his younger days, I wanted them to be together here for the sake of Albus. He deserves that companionship and happiness. :) Regulus is a little spitfire. :D Weirdo that he is, he's my favorite to write! Well, they're all my favorite to write, but he's such fun. I think that the lightheartedness was a much needed break from all the darker tones.

Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #36, by NaidatheRavenclawRun: Quidbumps

18th July 2012:

Your races are always so creative and this was no exception. Loveedd the combination of the two games and the action and all the creative ways of pushing people off brooms. So awesome. My heart was in my throat the entire time, and I sort of teared up a little when Colin caught the Snitch, partly because I was so proud of him and partly because it meant he couldn't be elimated. And THAT by the way, was a brilliant twist. Letting them choose was so nerve wracking. So so glad Crabbe won from his team though because he can still die and SO glad Cedric's out. I love him too much. Even though it's hurting my heart that both Fred and Colin are still in it. WHy :( Glad Tonks won too, and so happy she picked James. He needed to go. Though now it's all the newbies left (you totally did that on purpose, didn't you? :P) which is so heart wrenching because they /just/ DIED.

Ahh, Race chapters always leave me feeling slightly teary~eyed and weak but that's why I love them. I really hope Colin and Fred are eliminated next time.


Author's Response: Yay, so glad you liked this race! I'm trying to make them all very different from each other. This one is a bit more lighthearted than the others, I think, because there were fewer of them and they were all up in the air in the blue skies. It was very fun to write. :) Oh my goodness, SO pleased to hear that you liked Colin catching the Snidget - that was my favorite moment. I'm so proud of Colin and how far he's gotten. He really deserved that Snidget. lol you're glad that Crabbe won because this means he can still die - that made me laugh out loud. XD Thank you so much for reading and for the amazing review! Your reviews are always so lovely to read. :)

- Sarah

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Review #37, by NaidatheRavenclawRun: Dreaming Again

18th July 2012:
I'm using the House Cup to catch up on all my favorite stories so YAY. I'm finally here.

So this chapter was absolutely gorgeous. I was going to pick out my favorite lines for you but then I ended up pasting every other paragraph...oops. In any case, the entire thing is just written so beautifully. And it takes a lot to give me a fresh perspective on Snape, but you've done it here. He's both the tragic hero I love and the twisted bully I hate. You've captured every side to him, including his twisted motives and reasoning and you haven't tried to hide the bad to make him into a hero, as so many other stories do. So this is by far one of my favorite and one of the most accurate depictions of him. And the writing omg. It gets better every chapter. The descriptions in this, the emotions. Just wow. I honestly couldn't describe it any other way.

And the end bit! Ahhh! You tied it back in to the story so perfectly after a minor deviation and I'm left thinking "WHAT". What is with this place?! Nothing makes sense anymore :P



Author's Response: HI, NAIDA!! ♥ So thrilled to see you back!

I love writing Snape! I think that the best part about him is that he isn't so easily defined - like you said, he's both the tragic hero and the twisted bully, and that's a fine line to walk without glorifying or focusing solely on one or the other. The end bit ties back to the greater plot at hand, but in a confusing, what the heck sort of way. :P SERIOUSLY, NOTHING ABOUT THIS PLACE MAKES SENSE.

Eee races! :D Thank you for reading!

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Review #38, by NaidatheRavenclawSaving Grace: February II.

18th July 2012:
THIS LINE: Iíve lasted thus far calling them the red one, the gold one and the one with anger management problems. Ahahahha that one had me laughing for ages. BEST DESCRIPTION OF A BLUDGER. EVER. If I ever meet JK Rowling, I'm telling her about that :P

BUT WHAT GRACE REALLY? You haven't dumped Max? Why? *is sad now* He's married! Get some morals! Ughhh. Honestly, do I need to make someone else do it for you? I'm sure James will be quite happy to finish it if you can't do it yourself. >.<

But the conversation with George and Jill was funn :) I'm glad they're here more often now. Though I totally didn't know that Jill's almost 40. Whoa. I was picturing her as the same age as Grace and now this is like...she's almost as old as my Mum O.o (well, not reaaallly, but closer in age than Grace and me in any case :P) They have so many wonderful stories together. And I'm glad George refused to be her rebound :D

Oh and James. What will we do with you? Honestly, kissing like that doesn't count. She needs to be sober and not rebounding. But cliffhangers hurt my soul, so quick update pretty please? ♥



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Review #39, by NaidatheRavenclawSaving Grace: February I.

18th July 2012:
HAHAHA I KNEW IT. HA. I FEEL SPECIAL. HAHA. I GUESSED IT. *cheers* (let's pretend that you didn't sort of make it obvious on purpose so I can feel good about myself, okay?)

Anywayss, loved the return of Jill and George in this chapter. They're great company for Grace and not nearly as annoying as Cherry. I swear, if she just changed her name, I'd have an easier time liking her. Much easier. BUT AT LEAST SHE DELIVERED THE NOT-SO-SHOCKING-AWESOME-NEWS. MAX CAN GET OUT NOW.

I'm legitimately terrified that the staff are going to say these are spam reviews but they're not...they're spaz reviews ;)

Yeah, so lovely chapter with lots of humor and fun stories. BUT REBOUNDING? :O NO GRACE DON'T. I almost hope it's not with James because they need to have a /real/ relationship. Stupid Max. Always ruins everything.

Though work is going to be seriously awkward now. Is that what the fake illness is about? lol I'd totally do that too. Better than facing a boss I know had been cheating on me. Or, I guess, cheating on his wife with me. Which is worse? Idk :P



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Review #40, by NaidatheRavenclawSaving Grace: January 30th and 31st.

18th July 2012:
ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH YOUR AWESOMENESS? THIS PART: But it was stupid to dwell on those sorts of things, but with the thoughts of Hope and Whitby and my mother spinning round my heard it was hard not to think of everything that I usually tried to forget and to think of all the things I refused to let myself do.

To feel, to want, to dream.
It gave me shivers. In fact, I'm still shaking from the epicness of those lines. HOW DO YOU DO IT YOU GENIUS WOMAN? That sums up Grace so perfectly and I love it and gah this chapter was awesome.

Okay okaay and then Grace's mum again and I LOVED THAT PART. It was so sweet and funny and so Grace yet you can see her beginning to change. A bit. And the charity guy made me laughh. I love all the humor you have in your stories, despite writing about some really serious issues. It's a perfect blend and why you're such a good writer. Yeah, loved the sort of reconciliation from last chapter with Grace and her mum.

And then James. WHY. He's so annoying at times but those last lines are freaking me out. This is the only other chapter I pre~read but didn't review because I was lazy (but heey, it's working out now) so I honestly don't know what's going to happen next so GAH SCARED FACE. And now I'm going to go read it and be filled with happiness. Maybe. Probably not.



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Review #41, by NaidatheRavenclawSaving Grace: January 29th.

18th July 2012:

So I loved all the James/Grace friendship in this chapter. It was lovely. Like, really. Loved it. This is what I wanted from them and you delivered :D :D And the chips place was really sweet. And lol the penny slots HAHAHAH JAMES YOU LOSE.

And omggg she felt something. That's exciting. James can do anything. Oh and and I know there was something else I wanted to mention...hold on...OH YEAH HER MUM. That was...interesting. I'm glad Grace showed it to her. That section sort of reminded me of my own relationship with my mum (since we're not fighting all the time or anything, but we're just sort of...distant, y'know?) and that was written really well. And stuff.

Okay, this is waaay worse than my normal spazzy quality of reviews and I'm sorry but VICTORY FOR THE CLAWS. W. W. W. W. W.


PS: I lovve you.. Sorry, just had to add that in. You is special. And so is Grace. Okay, shutting up now.

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Review #42, by NaidatheRavenclawTask One Challenge: Romanian Longhorn: Task One Challenge: Romanian Longhorn

13th July 2012:
Hello! I've been meaning to read some of your work for ages (believe me, my reading list is about a mile long and growing every day :P) so I'm really glad that the House Cup pushed me to read some of it faster. And you definitely lived up to your reputation!

I loved all the humor scattered throughout this. Even for a fairly action heavy piece, you had some great light hearted moments that added a lot of depth to your character. The bit about being jealous of the other Healer was genius as was the magazine with the shirtless bloke on the cover :P And the very end was my favorite part ;)

So glad I finally read your work! I'll definitely be back to your author's page in the (hopefully) near future :D


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I really hope you're able to give any of the other stories a shot sometime since this was a quick 30 minute story! It was so much fun to write and definitely different. Actually, it was the first post-Hogwarts story I've done.

Thank you so much for the review! I'm loving all of the House Cup stories so far!

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Review #43, by NaidatheRavenclawTask One Challenge - Coliseum: Betrayal

13th July 2012:
Mike, you have improved so much since I last read your stories! I'm really impressed :D I think this is the first fic from Slytherin that I've read, so I can't say I have much to compare it to, but it was honestly a wonderful read.

I have to admit, I was cheering for Gordric throughout this whole story. I kept thinking that there's no way he could lose before remembering that it would be hardly be fair to kill of your own champion in your one shot :P I liked your ultimate ending though - your champion still got away and no one had to get hurt xD

Slytherin was absolutely perfect in this. He did seem properly cunning and power hungry and I loved that last sentence. It summed him up perfectly (and it gave me way too much pleasure to know that he won't win, muahahahaha xD) You wrote the action sequences really well, and it was probably the most suspenseful one shot I've read so far (and believe me, this is like the 20th story I've read :P)

Great job :)


Author's Response: Woohoo! I'm glad you think I've improved so much! :D And that's you're impressed!!

Hehe that's alright! :p But yeah, no killing of Salazar from me :P Weee yay! You like my ending xD

I'm glad he seemed perfect, being cunning and power hungry. I personally like that last sentence too hehe (And AHA xD Niiicceee :P ). Woo!



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Review #44, by NaidatheRavenclawA Fighter: -to be brave

13th July 2012:
Annon, this was so lovely! I don't think I've read a lot of your work which is really sad because THIS was stunning. I'm definitely adding your author's page to my reading list :P

I love all the elements going on in this. You had Cho as the girl I hate, crying over Cedric's death. You had Cho as someone strong, fighting for someone she loved. You had Cho as a proud Ravenclaw and all those elements just worked together. It was incredible. I loved the conflict and resentment in Cho. She was right when she said that Cedric was a much better wizard in a lot of ways, yet Harry had been luckier. Her twisted logic made sense in that moment, and I love an author that can do that.

This was definitely my favorite line in the story: It was a paradox that made Choís head spin, even though she was a proud Ravenclaw and usually loved mulling over concepts like that. THAT IS SO TRUE. I loved the little Ravenclaw traits you had going through this. House Pride, WOOT :D

An excellent one shot!


Author's Response: Hi Naida! :3 Aw, thank you! I definitely need to catch up on some of your stories as well :D.

Reading back, I actually get a bit muddled myself at all the conflicting emotions I've put in there! Gosh, I'm surpsied you could make head or tail of the thing :P I just sort of poured out every thought I've ever had about Cho, and how she must have coped with it all, and this is what I ended up with.

Haha, yep, I had to show a bit of House Pride! W!!

Thanks for such a flattering review, you lovely person -huggles-


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Review #45, by NaidatheRavenclaw Chasing Bravery: Chasing Bravery

13th July 2012:
Ooh, I loved this :D It was a really creative way to incorporate the prompts, and I love that even though this was from Hannah's point of view, Neville was still featured.

I think the first 4-5 paragraphs were my favorite part. Neville is awesome in the books, and you really captured why he's such a hero. I like that you took a slightly different view on him after the war. I've never seen him being portrayed as a thrill seeker, yet it worked so well. I'm glad he gained some confidence and courage through the Battle, and those paragraphs captured him so well.

The dragon race was really cool as well. That's canon, isn't it? Anyways, I love the idea of it and all the detail you put into it. And the bit with the donkey was hilarious, haha ;)

One thing I did notice was that you switched tenses every so often (like here: So thatís a win.) so just make sure you're sticking with past tense. A quick read through would fix that.

I really liked this though! Nice work :D


Author's Response: Ah Naida, I wish I'd written to you ages ago. This was a lovely review! I'm so glad you liked the story and my take on Neville and Hannah. I think the place is canon and dragons are raised there but its a broom race not a dragon race. I thought there's no reason we couldn't have both! :) Thank for your lovely words! I really really appreciate them xx

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Review #46, by NaidatheRavenclawTask One Challenge: The Runaway: I

13th July 2012:
Hello :) I read this to vote in the Ravenclaw poll of course, but I've just now gotten around to reviewing *headdesk*

I really liked this both times I read it. That first word sets up the story perfectly. It got my attention immediately, and it set the action~y tone for the rest of the story really well. I liked all the hints back at Cedric and the First Task you threw in here as well. It was a nice touch of detail, which made Cho's thoughts seem more real. The description of that dragon was lovely as well. I could picture it perfectly, and that made me shudder xD

I also loved Cho's decleration of being a Ravenclaw, lol. She was definitely a deserving champion in this. Yay for House Pride!

Nice work :)


Author's Response: Hi, Naida! I do that a lot, too, read, meant to review, but don't until the last minute :p I'm getting better and better with first and last lines of stories, so I'm glad this one caught your attention as soon as you read it :) Did you? Sometimes I get readers saying a bit of description would be nice, but I'm glad you could picture the dragon well xD Woops?

Yay for Ravenclaws! Writing Cho was fun, the bit about Ravenclaws more fun, but this piece altogether was the most fun I'd ever had writing a story. I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing! W.W.W.W.W!


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Review #47, by NaidatheRavenclawTask One Challenge: Moving on: Moving on

12th July 2012:
This was gorgeous!

I love love loved your descriptions in this. I'm a huge fan of authors that can use imagery like this, and oh my gosh yours was stunning. I love the paragraph about how avada kedavra would be better than crucio in particular. That was so true, and I could really feel Neville's pain in it. Well, I could feel his pain throughout this entire one shot, it being written so well.

The letter was a great touch. It makes sense that Frank would have written it, and Neville's Gran hiding it also makes sense, though in a sadder way. I'm glad he found it at the end, and I loved the transition from grief to determination. It was a perfect ending.

I did catch one typo: "There was a lot of my fatherís auror belongings in there too," that should be there were ;)

It was a lovely one shot. A whole new perspective on Neville and his Gran, and a really sweet ending. I adored every word. Excellent job!


Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked the description in this! It was tough to do in a very short space of time.

Neville's pain is something that speaks to me quite a lot as it really was cruel how his life with his parents was taken away from his with such a cruel disease. The letter was hard for me to write as I could imagine any parent writing it to their child when they're small.

Thank you for the review!

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Review #48, by NaidatheRavenclawTask One Challenge: Dragon 101: Dragon 101

12th July 2012:
I really liked this :)

Super fast, one quick typo I caught: "The only personal items that Blackthorn kept here in the classroom was a sneak-o-scope, a foe-glass, and a secrecy sensor that he kept on the left hand side of the oak desk." Was should be were ;)

Aside from that, this was an excellent one shot. I really liked the way you incorporated the prompts into this story. It was refreshing to read about Neville teaching dragons instead of battling one like most of the other entries :P And he was in character and exactly as I imagined him as well! Especially considering the short time period in which to write this, it turned out really well. Your flow was good and I think you had the perfect amount of humor.

I also really liked your uses for the dragon's blood :P It's been fun to see what everyone comes up with, and yours are definitely some of the most creative. Liked the last use in particular :) Great work!


Author's Response: Thank you for pointing out that grammar problem. I will be sure to fix it as soon as possible. I am glad that you liked my take on the challenge. I really wanted to give a fresh light hearted entry since I figured a lot of entries would include action and battling scenes. I am so glad that I captured Neville correctly I was so worried about that since I never write stories with Neville. I had a lot of fun coming up with uses for dragon's blood.
Thank you again for the review. I enjoy reading everyone's insight.

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Review #49, by NaidatheRavenclawReliving: Task One Challenge: Reliving: Task One Challenge

11th July 2012:
WOW. This was so amazing. I'm a giant fan of your writing style (even though I don't think I've reviewed a lot of your stories, shame on me :P) and this was flawless. All the action~y bits came together perfectly with Cho's emotions and all the Cedric angst until you created an absolutely incredible one shot. So much love for this ♥

Just super fast, one typo in the third to last paragraph: "even as the dragonís mouth open" should be opened ;)

Anyways, I absolutely loved the idea of this. Cho facing her memories and Cedric's past this way seems so possible, and gah I absolutely loved it. I love how you continued the links throughout the story, calling Cedric's wand her golden egg and all of that. Amazing. The action sequences and emotional bits were both written impecably, and they balanced each other out really well. I'm in love with your writing in thisss. Even your descriptions of the dragon were gorgeous. Minemineminemine :P

So proud to say this came from a Ravenclaw ♥ Great work!


Author's Response: Haha, thank you so so much! Don't worry about it - that compliment was lovely enough! :) Well, given the task was about Cho I had to include some Cedric-related angst (because, really, no Cho piece is totally complete without it, I don't think) and the action just sort of pushed its way in.

Ooh, yes, thank you for spotting that! I'm planning on editing things next month, so I'll edit that in. Thanks for that!

I really wanted to link the task to the actual tournament in some way, since it was so similar and things, and well, this is what came out of that. Haha, I think the Cedric's wand = her golden egg thing could have been a bit clearer... it was something completely random. I needed her to have a golden egg-type thing and I wanted her to have Cedric's wand as well, so it all kinda slotted together neatly. Thank you so so much! You may have the dragon, lol.

Thank you so so much for this lovely review!

Aph xx

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Review #50, by NaidatheRavenclawTask One Challenge: Potion Master: Task One Challenge: Potion Master

11th July 2012:
Ooh, what an interesting take on the prompts!

Really fast, I noticed a few errors. You switch into first person for this sentence: "Sure enough we could both see the ball move against current towards the bank of the river and before I could even say anything Lily had run down and gotten the ball out of the water." Also, you have quotation marks missing in a few spots.

Other than those errors, this was a wonderful one shot! It takes a lot to give me a fresh take on Snape, but you've done so here with his application to be Potions Master. I've actually never seen it done before. And the conversation about dragon's blood was great as well. Dumbledore seemed so in character at that part, which is difficult to do.

It's a very different use of the prompts and one that I thoroughly enjoyed! Nice work :)


Author's Response: Hey,
Thank you! I'll change the errors, thanks for pointing them out for me.
I'm glad I gave a fresh take on Snape, I love him. I was very nervous about writing Dumbledore, I don't think I would have ever if not for this Task.
Thanks again :)

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