Ah, we see Percy in a more shy characterization, which is what I would assume he would be like. He has such humble beginnings, being part of the Weasley's and all... and it seems to fit him. I'm so glad that he apologized to her.

And Cepheus, yikes. Was he a Slytherin? Seems like it. I loved how you described what he breathed and ate for breakfast. Hilarious and very creative.

You are doing an excellent job at characterizations for every character that you have introduced so far.

I'm liking your story more and more as I read along.

Great job!
Dark Whisper

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Wow... it really is a very different department from her last. It is good that these people can laugh and have some fun.

I liked how you created the first meeting with Percy. You describe him really well.

You also describe a perfect "first-day-on-the-job horror story" with the papers flying everywhere. It's a good thing Percy already knows how to remedy the situation.

Great second chap,
Dark Whisper

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Ronsgirl,

Well, you have really painted a great picture of Audrey in this wonderfully written first chapter.

Mr. Cornwall reminds me of my former boss that I could not stand. Moira is wonderful. Where was she when I needed her? :)

Her dad sounds really lovely and I really enjoyed your magical element... the color changing roses and the feelings that you gave them. Very creative.

Dark Whisper

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Cam,

Congrats on your nomination.
This story is really sweet. I do love this conversation between Harry and his newborn. I especially liked that he mentioned so many things about his history and how it was all worth it. Awe...

And truly, Ginny is so right about his modesty.

I also liked the Weasley's insights and about choked when Hermione speaks of her experience with children as "one afternoon" with Teddy... hahaha! Funny.

Best wishes on the Valentine's poll.
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hi, there.

Thank for the congratulations and well-wishes. I was really proud that so many people enjoyed the story.

I wanted to capture a happy moment in Harry and Ginny's life and write the story as a gift to my beta reader. The two of them are in a difficult stretch in her story at the moment. Being able to catch Ron and Hermione in a funny moment was an added bonus.

I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Meg,
You write hottie, I mean haughty Draco so well. XD
I just love his attitude. He does not like to be bossed around or put in situations that are dangerous and you give us this characterization spot on.

I LOVE your Pureblood rule about how she would not talk back or question him. Oh, my, that poses a problem, doesn't it?

And I loved how you made it a point that anyone with a Malfoy must look like a million galleons. So true in their formal world. I nodded my head in agreement while reading.

And I loved what he said about sleeping in the same room. "Abhorrent" is an excellent word for him to say. Not only is it his true feelings, but shows his smart vocabulary.

Great job, Meg. You have an excellent start as you move to this dinner party. Your last paragraph has me wondering what is going down. You have created a great pull to the next chapter.

Keep writing,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Dark,

Hehe, there is something attractive about the slightly arrogant Draco, even if you still wish to hit him in the face. LOL.

I will be bringing up different rules throughout the chapters. I'm thinking oldschool way of thinking. Women are meant to be seen and not heard. Lol or is that children. Haha. In my mind it is the same for pureblooded women.

I have a thing for that word but I wanted to find a prefect place and that was it. I'm so glad you pointed it out!!

Thank you for reading and reviewing again. You are too kind and I look forward to your reviews.

Meg

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Giola,

Well, congratulations on this story being nominated for the "Ultimate Ship-off" competition on the forum. Your story was nominated by several and I thought I would check it out.

This was a really lovely read. I particularly enjoyed your characterization of Astoria and how she was more 'down-to-earth' so to speak than I expected. I could also relate to her well in being an author. You describe writer's block perfectly... don't we all hate it? It is so frustrating! :P

I loved the mirror's reflection sticking its tongue out and poking fun of her. And I love that his cold action in the beginning was described as getting a hug from him. LOL! I do love a quiet and haughty Draco.

I also loved his letter to her. And especially your description of it... how it was not perfect. It had words crossed out and was difficult for him to write. It was really a wonderful description that truly spoke volumes about his demeanor and feelings. Just beautiful, really.

I also loved how you described his coldness toward Pansy and how he did not show her any affection. I could really see it in my mind.

And I loved the Black's Manor and how it had a ballroom. I loved your description and how you brought it back into your story to tie it all together. She could see the ballroom dances of old in her mind... and so could I. I also thought it wonderfully poetic that Draco was a bit sad that society had changed to the point of not needing one. :(

Your story was really well written and had wonderful flow from one chapter to the next. She had great friends that cared for her. You had me wondering if Daphne might start seeing Brendan. She deserves him, I think.

Congratulations again on your multiple nominations.
I normally don't read much other than Dramione, but your Astoria reminded me of Hermione a bit... especially when it came to being around dusty books. :) You certainly had me rooting for her and was happy with her book success.

Thanks for the light-hearted, fun read.

Best Wishes my fellow Slytherin,
Dark Whisper

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Meg,
Foul and loathsome, indeed... LOL! XD I absolutely loved that question of hers. Harry had a LOT of explaining to do and given his demeanor, he knew it would take much convincing on his part. Your portrayal of Harry was perfect.

I hope you elaborate on the different set of rules that Purebloods have (in future chapters). I would love to read any insight you might have or even a few examples that she can really get upset about... or at least, irritate her to the core. ;)

And the Venators... ooh, a diabolical Pureblood group sounds something right up Draco's alley. He'd fit right in and would be perfect for any kind of undercover work. Since he started right after graduation, you have me wondering if he had a choice in the matter. (?) Was he already a part of the group or have some sort of history with them? I hope you give readers the answers as you go along. You have me so curious! :)

And basing the group in Italy... awesome. Italy is so very romantic, but at the same time, the birthplace of the mafia... wealthy and sophisticated criminal minds. (That's my opinion anyway). I LOVE it!

You have created much potential in just two chapters.

Great job, Meg. I'm obviously curious for more when you get the chance, of course.

Sincerely,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Dark,

Poor Harry. Sent by Kingsley to do the dirty work and convince Hermione that though this will be hard that she can and should do it. I love Harry.

There will be much more to come on the Venators. I'm trying to make them their own group without being too much like the DeathEaters. That is going to be tricky. The Venators loosely translates in The Hunters. The hunters of what?? Muggleborns of course. Evil creatures they are. Hehe jk.

I love Italy and I think it is the prefect place they would flee to. It is the birthplace of the Mafia but it is a sophisticated place with history and romance. Perfect setting.

I hope all your questions will be reveal in time. Thank you again for reading and leaving an awesome review.

Meg

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Meg,

This is very different and very creative and sad, really. You know how much I love reading sad fiction, right? I love something that gives me that 'awe' moment and you certainly delivered.

You gave us a very unique backstory... a girl that could not be remembered because of a jealous witch long ago. She was most certainly 'Cursed' and with something that was very interesting and refreshingly different. I'm not sure if the curse was given to you in the challenge or it was your idea, but regardless, you wrote it really well.

You broke my heart when you wrote that she... "finally done something that was truly memorable." Awe... boo hoo. ;( It actually had me wondering if I've ever done anything to be remembered... other than for embarrassing moments, I don't think so. :/

It is right and wonderful that she be remembered for saving Harry. Wah!

I could imagine the sadness this girl's life must've been. It is beyond the norm and wonderfully unique and believable as it is set in the magical world.

I wish you much luck with this challenge.

Thanks for this unique read...
Sincerely,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Dark,

Thank you for reading my little one shot. Yes, it was for a challenge and I really liked the idea behind the challenge.

I think that some people are handed the short end of the stick at a young age and do what they can to defeat what drags them down. I really hope that I showed that in this story. I think that we don't truly know what happened at the final battle. Someone unknown could have saved Harry. JK gives us room for imagination!! :)

Thank you again for reading and leaving another awesome review!!

Meg

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Meg,
Oooh. You really have me intrigued with this. I love a haughty, arrogant Draco. He didn't want to be there and didn't like the situation and you showed that very well.

Since you have Hermione cloaked and concealment her specialty, I'm wondering if she will appear as someone other than herself so that he won't know that it is her. The possibilities are exciting! :) What do you have in store for your readers? Hmm?

This is a great start! Long live Dramione!

Great job,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Dark,

I have been wanting to write a haughty Draco for a while. I think it could be fun to play around with.

Hermione will be concealed for a time but I haven't decided on how long just yet. I'm just writing out the boring stuff right now but I can't wait to get into the action.

I agree "Long Live Dramione!" :)

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Meg

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Meg,
Oh, you wrote a Scorpius/Rose. It is lovely. You wrote her very well. It was really tragic that she felt even her love Scorpius had turned against her.

You pulled me along quite well, having me wonder what she was doing in trying to escape and what was going to happen.

I really felt for Scorpius and I LOVE that you had him believing that his father would come around eventually and was only deeply disappointed, not trying to kill them. I love it because I love Draco (as you fully well know). LOL!

You could really tell that he didn't want to keep Rose in the hospital, but he really didn't have a choice. I could really feel that he loved her and I loved reading his character.

I hope that she really is 'cured' and doesn't have a relapse later on. The poor dears... heartbreaking.

You did an excellent job, Meg. You deserve more reviews. :)

Sincerely,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Dark,

Aww... You are too kind to me...

I think it is funny but I once had a dear friend tell me that you should only write from personal expirence. I think that logic is slightly flawed but there is a note of truth to it. A wrote this story because I have dealt with a family member who has a "Broken Mind" He was smart and had a lot going for him until that one day. But most of my one shots are based on actually expirences. I know you have a few that are close to your heart too.

I'm so glad to read that you liked this one-shot. Thank you so much for leaving a review too. I really means much to me to read your reviews.

Meg

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DMLover,
Well, I decided to check my favorite stories and was very happy to see this one had a chapter I had not read yet.

This chapter was so hot, I thought my computer screen was going to melt. It was so very sweet and loving and really well written.

I love that Hermione called him out with his other 'non-relationships' with girls. And he now feels like a jerk about all of it and rightly so. I loved it because he is realizing just how different everything is now. He has this wonderful desire to break those past habits with her.

And isn't it so lovely to conserve water? LOL! XD I've done that myself on rare occasion... how fun, indeed.

These two just cannot get enough of each other and it is wonderful and refreshing and fun. "Ain't love grand?"

You have woven this light-hearted story with intrigue, romance, and quite honestly, realism. Her thoughts are very real... her jealousy of his past women and feelings of embarrassment. And his loving to cuddle... sweetness and truth that men really do love it themselves.

Congrats on your success. You have created a story that every Dramione fan lusts for... a story with wonderful characterizations with plenty of back and forth banter and lets not forget... the gradual and believable 'falling in love' pieces. It is amazingly adorable.

As an author myself, I fully understand writer's block and how life keeps you from writing. People will wait. Their impatience is a complement, of course. :)

I truly am loving each chapter and cheer you on...
Dark Whisper

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Jess,
Can I just say that I LOVE your first paragraph? From the start, you had me laughing at your extremely well-written imagery. Eggs as shrapnel and friendly fire? LOL! Even your graphics has an excellent 'one of kind' sweater.

You did an excellent job at characterizing someone that I didn't know and giving him wonderful contemplative qualities of 'the silent-type.'

It is truly heart-breaking that he harbors such secret love for the one his brother seems to be winning... or is he? Hmm. There can be a lot in a smile. I thought it was so sweet of her... and a great ending.

You made me really feel for him. Great job in this little one-shot. You expertly describe everything so vividly.

10/10

Best wishes on your challenges...
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so so glad that you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun with the first paragraph; I couldn't help putting in a little warfare in Lysander's breakfast haha. It's funny that you mention the graphic, because this model has always been the face of Lysander in my mind and I love this photo of him in a sweater - it's actually what inspired me to write this!

And I'm so happy that you like my characterization! Even though this isn't a long piece, I felt like I had gotten to know Lysander very well over the few weeks that I was writing this. And I'm very proud of him :)

There is a lot in a smile! I like to think that Lily still holds a special place in her heart for Lysander and she's unsure of how she feels about Lorcan because of it. There could be something in the future; that's what I wanted to convey with the ending - a sense of hope. So I'm glad that you liked it!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Jess :D

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Oh my, this is very intriguing. I saw your help posting on the forum and thought I'd check it out. Hmm... What's coming? A mystery, indeed.

There are many possibilities.

I really like your first chapter and I'm so glad that she said something else and gave a clue to her mother. There is hope for Rosie's recovery yet.

:)


Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Thanks! What's coming is a mystery to me too! :) I've had to do quite a bit of thinking, but I'm almost done with a plot map. Thanks a lot for the review!

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GinnyLilyana,

Well, this is quite an emotional little one-shot. I just love, love sad stories.

I saw your blog on the forum and will admit that it was your beautiful title that really pulled me into reading your story. I love it. It is so poetic and beautiful.

And as a Dramione fan myself, I love that even though you mention that he mistreats her, you didn't actually write him that way. He didn't forbid her from leaving the manor. He didn't act hateful, even if he was suspicious of her activity. He was actually caring and invited her to talk about what was bothering her. He even told her that he loved her, which I thought was a bit of an 'awe' moment for me. Thank you for that.

:)

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: I always believed that Draco had a soft spot. I like to play with that soft spot and tweak it to my desire.

Thanks for your review!

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Free Elf,

And here we are at the most recent chapter posted. Your story has been very sweet so far. It was nice that they celebrated his freedom with a picnic and the letter thanking her was wonderful and lovely.

The only thing I would suggest, is editing Hermione's letter a bit. For instance, she writes to Ron that she wants to have children with him someday, but then tells him she likes someone else. So, I think perhaps if you remove the phrase "with you" it might flow better. This is just a friendly suggestion of course. This is your story and you should write it how you want. :)

Congrats on posting seven chapters of your first fanfic. I want to encourage you along and hope that you continue until it is finished. It is quite an accomplishment to finish and you will be proud of yourself. :)

Probably my favorite part of this chapter is your crystal constellations hovering above her. I love magical elements in stories... keep them coming.

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Awww thank you so much for reviewing, you're right, I just re-read it and it does sound a bit conflict-y (if that's a word) I will change it asap

I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) xxx

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Free Elf,

Oh, what a lovely picnic. So sweet.

Some hints... You shouldn't use the _*_ to use as a line as this could get your chapter rejected. It can interupt the computer code. Just a friendly reminder as you continue your story. :)

Reading on...
Dark Whisper

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Free Elf,

Oh, this is so sad. He doesn't want to be a dirty little secret. And why isn't Hermione eating? Is she so worried that she cannot eat?

And 10 months has gone by now, so your story is moving right along. :) Good job.

Dark Whisper

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Free Elf,

Awe... it was so nice of her to visit him in Azkaban. I'm sure it was a surprise and shock to see her there.

It was very sweet of her to hug him and express her feelings and very like him to tell her to leave. ;(

Good job,
Dark Whisper

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Free Elf,

Ah, the trial. You did a really good job at describing this and I thought your fireworks of red or green was creative.

Twelve months is a good sentence for him, seeing as how remorseful he is. And you wrote Hermione really well too... her actions, her biting, and twirling of a thread. Really great job.

Dark Whisper

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Free Elf,

Oh, I'm so glad that she saved him. I loved reading the otter, "dancing and playing in the air." I haven't read many fics that have used it. It's adorable.

I find it interesting that she will serve as a juror in what might be his trial. Very interesting, indeed.

Great chapter 2!

Dark Whisper

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Dear Free Elf,
Well, first, congrats on posting your first fanfic.
So, far it is great glimpse of your story. The tone is sad, which I love 'sad' stories. And the circumstances are already very interesting. You have me wondering how this all came about and what is going to happen.

I love how he seems so tender with her, even though he is relieved that she is not marrying Ron.

Great first chapter! :)

Reading on...
Dark Whisper

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Gin-Gin,
Well, hello again. Poor Hermione. What a heart-breaking letter from her dad. I am glad she is pondering what Draco said to her.

I really enjoyed his response to Pansy about getting a 'good' morning kiss. LOL! And he is so sharp to notice Blaise's staring at Pansy. And I loved how you wrote that he was in love with Gr... someone else. Haha! XD

I really liked it when Draco said that no one KNOWS him. I agree and it fits so well with his characterization.

I must say that I half expected McGonagall to send a spell that would have him tasting soap in his mouth... as in washing his dirty mouth out with soap. LOL!

Great job, Gin-Gin...
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hey Dark!

Yeah, I would hate a letter like that. I kinda hate myself for having her dad write her that letter. Me too ;)

Hehe, I love that part. Draco makes my day with his funny comebacks. :D Oh yes, very sharp he is. and you picked out my favorite line of the chapter!!

LOL. That would have been hilarious! I half wish I had writtten that now.

Thanks so much!!! I adore your reviews!
Gin-gin

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Magic,

Oh, where do I start? I suppose with your words, "less alone." *cries* This implies that he still feels 'alone', but just less so. ;(

I love his kiss and how it was so natural to her. She would definitely have regrets, etc... if she were kissing a Death Eater. I love how you incorporated these very believable thoughts into her head and revealed them to us. Excellent job on her feelings.

She is right to be worried about how she looks while going to see his mother. And Narcissa having sent the dreams was brilliant and unexpected. Bravo!

"She's not a bad person." Awe... Draco speaking of his mother, so sweet.

I love how you wrote the gate and this creative magical element that you gave it. Wonderful! I LOVE magic and I think sometimes HPFF writers forget to add magic to their stories. Very creative. I loved it and thank you for it.

It is so sweet of him to give her encouragement just outside of Malfoy Manor... and I loved his threat to the gate.

I noticed that you haven't updated in quite some time and want to encourage you. I know you have it in you to complete this story. You have given the readers your answer to the mystery of who sent these dreams, now you just need to wrap it up in a beautiful package and put it to words in the way that only MagicintheMoonlight can.

I understand fully how time flies by and life gets in the way. Trust me on that! But you seem to be so close in your accomplishment. This is your baby and is probably near and dear to your heart.

What will MagicintheMoonlight write that will give Dramione lovers closure in a good sigh, cry, or awe moment? It is somewhere in you tucked away within, I just know it. :) No pressure, of course, just friendly encouragement.

Regardless if you finish, I want to congratulate you on your success with your beautiful story. As of this moment... 91 have Favorited and this will be your 186th Review and who knows how may thousands of reads. That, my dear, is success in my book. I want to encourage you to go back and read every single one of those Reviews, feel good, and take a bow.

Congratulations and thank you so very much for one of the most memorable, angsty, beautifully written stories I've read here. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get back to it, but I'm so happy that I did.

A well deserved TEN/TEN!
Can you hear my applause? I do hope so.

Sincerely,
Dark Whisper

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Magic,

Ah, Dramione first kisses... so lovely and dreamy. *sigh* You wrote it so sweet.

I love how formal he is. "I am aware." LOL!

Great job on his "crafted" reply to her about disproved theories. That is really an excellent way to describe the change in his feelings. Very creative and well done.

And I love how he carefully contemplates what he says to her. He is wonderfully thoughtful with a intelligent vocabulary ("mavelovent intentions") as if every word counts. Your characterization is perfect and I truly appreciate that you've stayed true to writing precisely what Draco would say. Honestly, I love reading your Draco. Awesome job.

I have no idea who is sending these dreams, but can I say that I'd love for it to be Snape? I shall soon see what your brilliant mind has come up with... can't wait. :)

10/10 for your Draco!
Dark Whisper

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Magic,
In reading this chapter, I am reminded of how well you can write so vividly so that your readers can really picture these dreams. You write them so well and clear.

You've done a gorgeous job and I applaud the way you have taken your imagination from your head to pen so eloquently. Your talent is inspiring.

I love his confession about the kiss. You are so right and we are on the same page as far as that is concerned. She is the only one who has ever truly cared about him. *sigh*

You mentioned in your author notes how difficult this was for you to write. I fully understand that sentiment and want to encourage you along. I truly believe that when it gets hard and authors push through, concentrating on precisely what they want to convey, that their writings become better for it. Writing can be hard, but your end result was beautiful and WORTH IT. Congrats on persevering and giving us something that flowed so flawlessly.

10/10 for your 'sapphire water' and the pictures you painted so well for your readers.

Bravo!
Dark Whisper

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