Blurgh I need the new chapter! How can you just leave it at that? I mean, I know how it's probably going to go because that's how all these things usually go, but still! Or is James just lying to get Cassie to come to the party? Because he's known for lying (seriously he could have driven her insane?!? What the heck man?) I would very much like to know the answers to these questions. Oh, and an update to TAOS please. Kthanx.
Excellent chaper, by the way; I don't think I mentioned that ;)
classicblackAuthor's Response: BECAUSE I'M REALLY MEAN.
Have you not got that by now? I would have thought that would have like... shown up on your radar. I'm meaannnie.
Working on both the update for TAOS and the next chapter of this right now along with all my work (with the four days of Easter holiday I have left...remind me why I did nothing all holiday, again?)
Thanks for reviewing :D
Helen Report Review
Hello and happy birthday! At least, I hope that it's still your birthday... because you might be in a different timezone. Regardless, I hope wherever you are in the world, you're having/ had a wondering day! And yes, you guessed it, it's Ali here for your Gryffie Birthday Review. Congratulations! You lived another year that was zombie-apocalypse-free.
I loved this one-shot! It was James and Lily, but a nice break from the usual angsty James and Lily or lovey-dovey James and Lily. I'm always interested to read the period between hate and love, especially because authors often skip over it. You did a nice job showing how common enemies can bring people together.
I liked the theme that you kept going that Lily was finally experiencing the real world and that her safe little Hogwarts bubble had finally popped. It sets up Lily's courageousness, demonstrated by her participation in the Order of the Phoenix and her protection of Harry, very nicely. It gives her a tipping point and shows how she changed from the kind, pretty, smart Head Girl into the loving and brave and fierce woman she becomes.
I laughed when you mentioned the line where Lily describes how Sirius gave her a hard time about not going after the Slytherins. It really fit Sirius's hot-headed personality.
Overall, fantastic job and happy birthday!
classicblack Report Review
I just... I don't understand.
How is it possible for you to write such lovely and humorous Sirius/Lily banter and then turn around and write such adorably cute James/Lily romance (they said I love you! They said I love you!!)? Although, I really don't know why I'm suprised by it anymore. You've already proven to me that you're a writing goddess.
It feels nice that Lily seems to be growing up (apart from her relationship with Petunia) and that she's managed to grow and learn from Mary and then move on. Which means she gets to focus on her relationship with James. Which makes me extremely happy because I love them so darn much.
You know, Sirius's question did bring up the query for me of when that's going to happen (as I'm assuming it eventually will). Oh Mr. and Mrs. Potter...
Spectacular chapter! Don't be shy in updating soon. I won't mind; I promise.
classicblack Report Review
Aah! I loved it!
But honestly can we just skip all the unnecessary drama and get right to the part where Amelie and James end up together? Because we all know it's bound to happen. Right? Right?!
I can't wait to see how you're going to incorporate James possibily losing his job (and something tells me he will lose his job which will nicely break up him and Henrietta and also create some sort of deep, drama, reconcilliation/ connection with Amelie that will make them end up together) into James and Amelie's relationship. I think both James and Amelie (mostly Amelie) need to grow up and realize/ accept that they're not totally happy with their relationships. That would be so much simpler.
But that ending! "Then it wasn't important"- it made me laugh and it made me want to slap both of them and yell for them to just get to the nearest bedroom. Honestly.
Fantastic chapter! Hope the next update comes quickly!
classicblack Report Review
Hey there, I'm here with the reviews for receiving second in my challenge! Sorry it took me a bit, life got hectic, but wow was this chapter fantastic!
I'm really liking the characerization of Peony right now. She's not the convential OC is she? She seems a bit immature, naive, and superficial, what with her obsession with looking nice and following the rules and also not realizing what the Carrows being at Hogwarts means and believing that rules will save her. She seems a bit like Percy- thinking that following the rules and sucking up to the right people will help her. Despite that, there's something relatable and likeable about Peony that I can't quite pin-point. I laughed at the care packages to Azkaban prisoners though! I'm looking forward to seeing how her character progresses.
Pansy seems a bit distant. Be careful not to make her just the girl that makes fun of Peony all the time, the stereotypical evil stepsister. I'd really be interested to read the depths of Pansy's character, too. I'm also looking forward to seeing how or if you incorporate the Astoria/Draco relationship.
So far, so good. I'm really getting into this story! It's a very creative idea; I don't often find stories about what Hogwarts during Harry's 7th year.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hi there!
No, Peony is not the conventional OC. In fact, if you find anything conventional about this fic, you need to point it out to me because I wasn't trying hard enough in those sections. It still surprises me when people find something likable about this girl. Maybe it's because she showcases the inherent flaws in all of us, and we just don't want to admit to them.
Azkaban is a bad place. Those people need more chocolate!
Unfortunately, Pansy was written as a gross caricature. But hopefully, she will still make you laugh at times. I guess that's her only saving grace in this story.
Thanks so much for your review. Come back anytime! I love hearing your comments. Report Review
Dear goodness I didn't know it was possible to feel so many emotions at once.
"Equilibrium has been reached, and their spheres of interaction-separate, but still somehow similar-are all the better for it." I loved this quote. It really helped sum up the entire story. It was closure for me because finally, finally, Albus and Melinda are equal. He is no longer controlling. He has learned his lesson. I find I dislike him just a bit less now.
They both can finally fly.
I like the imagery and symbolism of the house at the beginning. It was their life together. What they might have had before it all went sour. That's why it was crumbling and in the dream the closure finally achieved causes the pain and guiltt that was holding the house up to crumble and the house to fall. Closure.
I like to think that Melinda and Albus became friends after this. Not great friends, obivously, but someone that you send a Christmas card to.
Wonderful story! Thank you for introducing me to it! And with that I conclude my designated five reviews and say:
classicblackAuthor's Response: Thank you for so many wonderful reviews!! I know it must have been a bit of a project, especially since you went an extra mile and left me six reviews! :)
The quote is one of my favorites, too. When I saw it in your review I did a double-take because it seemed like something that some other person wrote. I really didn't mean to be so fancy and put-together!! I do what I can, and it somehow worked for this story. :)
Yes, Albus and Melinda can fly alone now. The house that bound them together is gone. This whole chapter was actually inspired by a dream I had. I was like, "Whoa, that was cool!" and then I wove it into my story.
I guess you could say that Albus and Melinda are friends now, but very, very distant friends. And the Christmas card only has a signature at the bottom. Knowing Albus, he doesn't have time, and knowing Melinda, she understands. It's just kind of the way of things, you know?
Thank you again so much for all the reviews you've left me!! In the future, I'll have to publish a new chapter if I want you to review my work!! (You've reviewed all I've got on HPFF!!!) :)
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
I loved the beginning sentences again. It was heavily ironic how Albus didn't take after his namesake, "the bravest man Harry ever knew", and became a cowardly Slytherin. Nice parallels! Of course, then Albus had to go and ruin it by making it seem like he was better than Melinda all along and just was too cowardly to break up with her. It makes me feel so much more sympathy for Melinda because he was leading her on, but it makes me feel better that she was the one to get the final word in the end. Darn you, Albus. Just darn you.
But honestly how in the world did he grow up to have such a hatred of oddness when his own sister is named after the oddest girl of the century? Did he never experience Luna, who both his parents loved, as a child? What happened? Gah, you're too good. I don't normally have this many questions.
I liked how both Albus and Melinda turned away from love after their break up. However, where Melinda became free and happier, Albus tunred sour and cold and bitter. The connections are amazing.
I have to say that this chapter did not make me like Albus more. It made me want to slap him repeatedly, though. I would never put up with a controlling relationship like that and I'm sad Melinda didn't see it sooner.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Oh, you flatter me! I didn't even notice the parallels until you pointed them out!
Yes, I suppose that Snape gave up his life for love of a girl while Albus Severus shrank away from a girl he used to love so that he could find a new life. It all comes down to the fact that Albus and Melinda were together, and Snape never had his moment with Lily. Snape lost the most wonderful thing in his life and lived in regret until his death. Albus gave up the most wonderful thing in his life because she ceased to be wonderful to him. He changed, for better or for worse. He is a coward by nature because he's never actually had a real cause to stand up for--Snape had his undying guilt to turn him over to the good side, and Albus never really had that. So the difference is ironic, but not unnatural, really. (I hope this all makes sense!) Thank you for making me think about this parallel! That was awesome of you. :)
As for his hatred of oddness, well, there are all sorts of siblings in a family. Lily Luna was named after an odd woman, but does she take after her? Was this odd woman ever around in my version of the story? Even I don't know, unfortunately. It might be a good thing if I were to write other stories, showcasing Albus' friends and siblings in this alternate universe of their story, but I don't have anything planned, exactly. Now that I read your questions, however, my thoughts are racing with ideas. Perhaps this summer I can come up with something worth publishing? :)
But to answer in a more concrete fashion: Albus could have disliked Luna's oddness, even though his parents loved her. There's no accounting for taste, as they say, and maybe Albus is just one of those straight-laced, professional types.
OR... He was more open-minded at the beginning, and that's why he became interested in Melinda. As time passed and he met more professionals in the Ministry, he began to emulate their worldview and professionalism, but took it too far. He started to hold Melinda at arm's length because she wasn't professional like he was. (I think this is the best of all the possible explanations I can give you!!)
I'm glad that you want to slap Albus. He definitely deserves it!!!
Thank you so much for making me think! I hope I didn't bore you too very much! :)
Oh that beginning! You set it up so I was thinking that Melinda was happy and lovely and all was well and then you hit me with that "six months of being quite alone" part. Very clever, you.
I enjoyed the look into the background of Albus and Melinda's relationship. Albus is so cute when he asks her out! It was interesting to see the parallels- Melinda sees herself (and she is I suppose) as a social outcast, but it's Albus- the confident, smart son of Harry Potter- who is nervous and intimidated when asking her out. Perhaps she's not so out-there after all? And then that scene in the snow and Albus's moments of spontaneity- perfect!
And then I read the rest of the chapter. It seems to me, although Melinda is essentially finished with Albus and doesn't have feelings for him anymore, there is still a part of her that wishes they were still together. I suppose it's sometimes an after-effect of a controlling relationship? Because Albus certainly was very controlling. I have a friend who recently ended a relationship similar to that of Albus and Melinda and so it actually helped me really feel for Melinda. Props for making me love and then dislike Albus all in one chapter!
I was going to comment on why you switched from third to first person in this chapter, but then I saw the title of the next chapter and it all makes sense. You're going to do a chapter from Ablus's perspective next. Perhaps I'll hate him less after that.
There were a few lines that felt a bit awkward. Just places when Melinda would narrate "for crying out loud" or "for Merlin's sake" which did make her narration less formal and more personal, but didn't seem to quite fit with the generally angsty, serious, and dramatic tone of this chapter.
Overall, fantastic chapter. I'm excited to read more. I'm really loving the quotes at the begining and end of each chapter, too.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hello again!
Yes, Melinda is happy, but she is reflective at the same time. I was trying not to make her seem too sad, but still, she misses the good times. They had a pretty good relationship before it all fell apart, and happy memories never really fade. However, Melinda also remembers the bad times, and they soon outweigh the happy ones. It's enough for her to finally lose her patience and her hope for a change in Albus' slowly deteriorating character.
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Boys and girls can really be awful to each other sometimes (all the time), and that's exactly what I was trying to show here. (And I may or may not have had a friend who went through the same sort of thing.)
As for the break in tone... Yeah. I'm sorry!! One day in the far-off future, I will edit and make it all better, I promise! :)
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
I know you said you didn't want a review for this chapter, but I'm doing it (along with chapters 2, 3, and 4) anyway because I wanted to tell you how much I liked this chapter.
Really, you're a fantastic writer. I can't help being excited to read how Albus's character grows, hopefully away from a quite oblivious Slytherin? He seems so practical and cold-hearted but maybe that's a defense mechanism so he doesn't get hurt? I'm also looking forward seeing how Melinda and Albus's relationship grows in general. I liked the way you showed how their relationship grew slowly apart. How they weren't these polar opposites or best friends that fell in love, as those beautiful cliches go. They started out as strangers that grew in love and then fell apart.
I loved the quotes you used to begin and end this chapter. They fit excellently and helped set the mood of the story. Yet again, your description and detail were fantastic.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for giving me an extra review!! That was so nice of you, and I'm sorry that it took me almost a MONTH to respond!!
*blushes* I'm glad you think I'm a fantastic writer. That's what I'd like to pretend, anyways, but sometimes... I don't know.
As you saw in the following chapters, Albus did not grow away from his practical cold-heartedness. This was a break up story, after all, and I had to give him a flaw (because he's practically perfect otherwise... except when he's not!)!!
Thank you for loving the quotes, and I look forward to (finally!) responding to the rest of your reviews!
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
This was fantastic! While answering a very few of my previous quesitons, you added around twenty more. I'm dying to know more about the connection between David and Persephone. Ugh! I can't take the mystery! Very good on your part, you seem to have a knack for mystery, never allowing me to truly understand your characters and your plot until the very end (or at least until you want me to). It's happened with both the stories of yours that I've read. Who knows- maybe you'll be the next Agatha Christie. You certainly seem to have the skill for it.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hahaha, I don't know about me being the next Agatha Christie! This story is mysterious, but maybe that's because even I don't know what will happen next!! It's kind of awkward, but the story writes itself for me, and it won't let me be transparent.
Also, yes... It does seem that I have written two stories in which the characters are not revealed until the end. My apologies!! I really am not a mysterious person... I like humor better, but I'm not funny, so I can't write it!
But anyway, thank you again for your review!!!
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
Hey there! Sorry it's taken me a little while to get around to reviewing, life tends to be annoying and hectic ;)
I really enjoyed this opener! It certainly created a feeling a mystery and suspense and shot aobut ten questions at me about the plot, which is always good for keeping a reader around. What's the Society? Who is our narrator? What's up with her family? Does Arnold have some secret feelings for her (okay that ones a bit far-fetched...)? I'm definitely looking forward to reading more to get the answers to some of these quesitons.
One again, excellent description and very nice ending to the chapter. It was final and dramatic and made you want to know what it was time for.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hi!! It's really alright that it took you awhile... I keep people waiting on my review thread all the time. (Which isn't very good of me!)
I'm very glad you enjoyed the opening, and I'm super glad that you have so many questions. This chapter is really vague, and in some ways, that's not such a bad thing. However, it does keep you guessing a lot, and that can be quite frustrating. I know it is for me, and I'm the author of it!!
Thank you for your review!
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
Oh dear, I loved this. Most definitely adding to favorites. By the way, you're right, the banner is lovely.
I loved your description. It was quite poignant without being overwhelming as description sometimes it. You provided just the right amount of energy and imagery to make me feel like I was at the beach with Victoire without making it boring. Nicely done. I liked the intended or unintended symbolism of the beach. It's just vast and never-ending and alone and I feel like that's how Victoire feels in the beginning. But then she finds Teddy (adorable!) and his ability to change helps her feel like she's not so alone and she doesn't have to change the expectations and weights on her shoulders without help.
I also loved how the title connected with your theme of Victoire not living up to her name. In her own eyes, she hasn't been victorious, but I give her props for being the first Weasley grandchild fresh out of the war. She held it together. She was strong. And she would still be Victoire even if she wasn't called that.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hey CB! Sorry for the late reply on this!!!
Thank you so much for your compliments and nice words! I'm really pleased it wasn't an overwhelming amount of details as I have a weird love affair it seems with putting in too much description. It's a good setting for this sort of story isn't it? The idea that the beach, the ocean is just so big, so never ending just shows how Victoire feels like her problems are just as vast and big and she so small that she can't overcome them. Teddy helps, but in the end, our happiness has to come from within and not from someone else. :P
If i were to write more of this it would show her falling more apart but also finding strength. This is just a little taste of what she goes through and how her name made her feel even more insignificant. Thank you so much for your lovely review! I really appreciated it! Report Review
Hey there! I'm finally here to review your challenge entry!
Oh my, I loved this. I'll just come right out and say that you incorporated the words perfectly. And, considering it's the vocabulary challenge, that was quite important, haha. I think the way you threaded the words into the story added to the excellent imagery that you provided. It was truly superb. I actually felt as if I was in the setting with Quirrel and the barmade, in this lonely country town in Albania and that's very difficult to do.
Speaking of it being Quirrel- I was not expecting that! Once you mentioned Albania and then the Dark Arts I knew it had to be something with Voldemort, but I can honestly say it took me completely by suprise when you revealed it to be Quirrel in the end. It was amazing though! I actually gaped at my computer for quite a few moments and applauded you silently in my head for your excellent mystery.
Overall, nicely done. Thanks for entering and keep an eye out for a blog entry and a post in the Hall of Fame announcing the winners!
classicblackAuthor's Response: I am so glad that you enjoyed what I did with the words you gave me... I really enjoyed writing this story, although it didn't feel quite right to post it... I'm kind of a perfectionist and I wanted to keep editing!
It's great that you were surprised by the revelation of the character. I thought I was being obvious and not mysterious at all, but mysterious-ness is awesome, and I love to be mysterious. :)
I guess this story had that kind of vibe, but I can't believe that it was good enough to trap you inside it!!
We are our own worst critics, I suppose...
But anyways, thanks are in order for YOU, who issued this challenge and who gave me the highest honor of winning it. I was truly surprised and pleased by your message on the forums, and I still can't believe it!!!
Thank you so very much for everything!
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
Hey there, I'm here to review your marvelous entry into my Vocabulary Challenge. I really liked this.
I found this one-shot fresh and entertaining and frankly Newt's oddness and his connection to Luna (through her eventual marriage to Rolf) were really the perfect way to incorporate all the rather strange and unusual words that I presented you with. I liked that you portrayed Newt as really the perfect grandfather-in-law for Luna. He certainly is a wonderful author of Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them.
I laughed when I realized that you were going to have Rolf disappoint Beau just as Beau had disappointed Newt. It was a rather clever way of tying it all together. I also giggled a bit when Newt was spying on his wife in the garden. Frankly, I love displays of elderly couples still in love. It warms my heart.
You did a wonderful job of incorporating all the words into this quirky little one-shot and certainly entertained me. Thanks for entering and keep an eye out for the blog announcing the winners!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hi!
I'm so relieved that you found this entertaining and the word usage appropriate. I seriously had those words boldfaced, but when I pasted my chapter, the formatting went away and I just noticed it now. I used all twenty words, by the way, and then I couldn't stop. Those lists were too enticing. I don't have a final count of how many words I used, but there were an awful lot of them. I kind of got carried away for a while.
Newt is certainly an odd character. I had fun trying to piece him together for this, make him quirky and slightly outrageous, but not overly so. I'm sure he will get along fantastically with Luna, once they meet face to face, which is more than I can say for her first meeting with Beauregard... that would be interesting to watch.
Aww, there was a 'ship in this after all, wasn't there? I had pictured Newt all bored and restless and what else was he supposed to do during the dull business meeting?
This was a really fun and CHALLENGING challenge. Thanks for hosting it! Report Review
Oh goodness you've got me started again. Laughing and partially crying and then laughing again because this chapter was absolutely bitterweet. Because Mary's been gone a year and I do miss her, but I feel like it's nice that Sirius and Lily have finally moved on and are happy, which is actually something that I think Mary would have wanted.
There were some paragraphs (for the sake of character conservation I won't copy and paste them into the review, haha) that were just so beautifully written. They were those paragraphs that could be found in any story, no matter the plot, only because they were wonderful and they make you think about things. About life.
And I thought of something while reading, something that I probably should have gotten a while ago, but didn't. All these characters are going to die. They're going to die fighting a noble war, but Mary didn't. Mary just died all by herself and I thought it was an interesting contrast that she really exemplifies the normalness of life and not the "glamor" of dying in battle. In the end, Mary was average and that's what makes her special.
Oh and James and Lily were adorable as always.
And I'm really excited for the very near-future "I love you" scene between them.
And finally, the Sirius and Lily scenes are spectacular and wonderful and Lily and Sirius really are siblings in pain.
Spectacular chapter, Helen. Merry Christmas!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hello classicblack!
As always, thanks for reviewing and being your wonderful lovely stuff. Really, you don't know how much these reviews always make me smile :D
Mary, for all faults, began to realise the scope of life before she died and definitely would have wanted them to move on and be happy anyway they could. That's life, really, and it's sad but this is the way things work.
I am acutely aware of impending deaths at the moment and... well, I'm not sure I have another death within me in terms of writing but I guess we'll see really shortly. To me, this whole story seems to close to the end that it's unreal but... there are still quite a few chapters to go.
Thanks for the lovely review and a merry christmas to you too!
-AC Report Review
Helen! This is awesome! Two story updates (at least of the ones I'm reading) for Christmas! Hoorah!
You know, semi-filler chapters are the best because they leave all this mini sort of cliff-hangers that aren't really cliff-hangers because they're in the middle of the story, but are because they're all theses hints to future chapters. That pretty much defines this chapter. It just leaves this metamorphical story taste of wanting more and needing to know why James is upset and why Cassie isn't trusting her instincts like she really should and when on earth you're going to make them a couple because it's been almost twenty chapters, Helen, and I'm impatient. And oh, that whole big plot twist about Cassie's mom and her memories... that too ;)
I really like the Cassie/James relationship right now. You manage to make James be exactly the same wonderful and funny and arrogant little prat that we know and love while also making him change a bit so that he's becoming deserving of our Cassie. Oh and Cassie is learning to open up to people, just a smidge, so that she can trust James and I can finally be at peace. Although, I suspect you won't give me peace until the final chapters.
I can't wait to see the direction you take this story. Please find time to write more over the holiday and most importantly, Merry Christmas!
Happy writing (and a Happy New Year!),
classicblackAuthor's Response: Yup! I try to my best to treat you guys, ahha, and get silly numbers of updates in the queue before the christmas closure because I'm probably masochistic.
Yay! Someone who actually enjoys semi-filler chapters! THere is a lot of important stuff in here when you filter out the lack of any real action so I'm realyy glad that you liked this chapter.
The couple bit?? AHhha. I had a long conversation with my best forum bud surrounding this issue and...I have plans, oh I have plans. Probably not the plans that anyone wants or expect but TRUST ME ON THIS.
Thanks for the lovely review and I will definitely do my best!
-AC Report Review
Hey it's Ali from the Holiday Review Swap! Sorry it took me so long to get here; life's been quite hectic lately.
I really liked this one-shot. It was an adorable Scorose without all the unecessary drama that usually accompanies such fics. It was sort of like you were coming in say "Scorose! Scorose at the Hogwarts reunion! Thought you out to know *faints*"... Ok maybe not like that, that was just me trying and failing to be clever, but I think you like the point. I love how you very subtley implied that it was Rose, apart from the fact that the narrator was paired with Scorpius and that Rose was mentioned in the summary/ description. You mentioned her freckles and how Albus was her cousin. You mentioned Ron's blue eyes. Very niely done!
Overall, wonderful job! I really loved the description and the plot of this.
classicblackAuthor's Response: Wow thanks for this awesome review! I didn't really want to come right out and say I'm Rose I'm Rose with this one but I wanted it to be implied that its her. I just wanted to write something short sweet and simple between the two and this is sort of what came out. I also wanted to touch on the feelings of being lonely and feeling like everyone else around you is pairing off except for you. I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Hey there! I'm here for the Holiday Review Swap! Thanks for the review.
I really like Charlie's spunkiness. She seems like a very sassy and sarcastic character, which is a great contrast to the fact that she's rather socially awkward. I get the feeling that she would have loads of friends if she just spoke to people. However, take care not to make that Charlie's only feature. Everyone's serious once in a while, even the sarcastic ones. I liked how you set up the mystery of what happened to Victoria. It helped me get into the story.
Nice opener to your story!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hello there, thank you for the review!
I'm glad you like Charlie's character so far-I agree, if she had actually been around people her own age, she might not be so socially awkward. Don't worry, that is definitely not Charlie's only feature-there are some very serious moments throughout Missing.
I hope you enjoyed!
Courtney:) Report Review
Hey there! I'm here from the review swap! Thanks for the lovely review!
Before I really go into the chapter, I loved how you described Fee as "flame-haired". It was a really creative way of saying red-haired. I also like that she looks like Lily Evans (with her green eyes) because the two are so different.
I loved all the little references to HP characters that I caught in there, like Kreacher, and Voldemort being friends with Fee, who seems to be in love with him. It really tied in what was a sort of singular event into the grand scheme of the plot of the HP novels. I also really liked how you mentioned that Orion had been forced to marry Walburga. It made me laugh that even then, no one like Sirius's mother.
I loved that mystery letter in the end! It was such a cliffhanger and definitely caught my attention! Really superb job on this chapter!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Haha yeah, for some reason "red-haired" just doesn't cut it for me. I love saying things like "flame-haired", "raven-haired", etc. It's so much more creative! XD
Oh, absolutely. I love the contrast between Fee and Lily! It just goes to show that it doesn't matter what you look like, personalities are always unique.
Thank you! I didn't want to create too many original characters, as I felt that would detract from the story. I know from the books that Kreacher is quite old, as he worked for the family during Sirius' childhood, so I thought it would make sense for him to be a new, young house-elf in 1945, which would make him 50 in OOTP. :)
We don't actually know that Orion feels forced to marry Walburga; that's from Fee's perspective. Alphard does believe that he thinks Orion does actually want to get married- whether that is to Walburga or to someone else is debatable. ;)
Thank you! The mystery letters will be featuring a lot in this story!
Happy writing to you too!
-Katie Report Review
Hello there, it's Ali for the Holiday Review Swap! Thank you for reviewing my story!
I really loved this little one-shot. It felt very artsy and sort of like something you'd hear at a poetry reading where everyone snaps, but also just a beautiful little short story in one of those dusty collections of stories.
You're attention to detail was amazing! You gave this whole warm and cozy picture of the Hufflepuff common room that rivaled what I saw on Pottermore. It was absoutely excellent and you really managed to capture the feel of the Hufflepuff common room.
I loved that I was left guessing the entire time who was narrating the story the entire time and I have to admit I loved that it was the walls in the end. At first I thought it might be Helga Hufflepuff, but I really enjoyed how you incorporated the "if walls could talk" saying. Also, I appreciate the story dedicated to the underloved House of Hufflepuff!
Overall, excellent job!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hi there! No problem at all! :)
I've never been to a poetry reading, so I'll have to take your word for it, but I'm glad that you loved this one-shot!
I had to do some research on what the Hufflepuff common room looked like as we never saw it in the HP books, so I'm glad that it showed! (I have no clue what Pottermore is, but I'll take my ability to rival it as a compliment, haha!) I'm so glad you feel that I captured the Hufflepuff common room perfectly! :D
I was really worried that you might figure out that it was the room quite early on in the one-shot, so I'm glad to see I kept you guessing until the very end! Thank you- although TenthWeasley's review made me start considering writing the other common rooms too...
Thank you! :D Report Review
Hi, it's Ali from the Holiday Review Swap!
I really liked this one-shot. Being a hardcore Jily shipper, it's hard for me to like a fic where Lily isn't paired with James for most of the time, but you made it completely ok. I loved Aidan and Lily's time with him. Also, the way you made it turn out that Lily was reminiscing about this at her wedding to James was wonderful. It really tied the whole story togther.
This story felt a little "The Notebook"-esque where there's a first love and a second, except that you reversed it and made Lily end up with James in the end, which I liked. I also thought it was interesting that you had Lily tell Aidan that he had to go out into the world and be an Auror and end the war to stop more families from being torn apart. It was very creative because Lily is eventually murdered and leaves behind an orphan in the fight against Voldemort, just like Aidan's parents did to him. And then Harry went out and fought against Voldemort just like Aidan did, leaving behind the girl he loved. I really enjoyed the parallels.
One thing that you could improve on is your characterization of Aidan. His only flaw was that he retreated inside himself when his parents died, which isn't really a flaw because that's completely normal. I know it's a one-shot and it's hard to get some characterization into it, but why not try not making Aidan completely perfect? Just a little quirk to make him more easily connected to.
Overall, wonderful job and thanks again for the review on Wishful Thinking!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hey there!
This story was challenging to write since Jily is my "mothership" so to say. But a challenge is a challlenge.
As for the characterization of Aidan, the story is in first person and I was writting it from Lily's POV, so I wanted to get across the fact that she kept only the good memories of him because in the end that's how you remember somebody who was dear to you. And seeing as he helped her grow, she has fond memories of him.
Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
This. Was. Phenomenal.
Hello, it's Ali for the Holiday Review Swap and I've got to say that I loved this one-shot. I will definitely be adding it to favorites. It was blunt and very bare, which was what made it so great. It just makes you feel raw reading it. The fact that it was so short made it so it was still enjoyable to the reader without feeling like a drag. It felt like a poem or a short story you'd read in one of those vintage books that are required for English class. And that's a compliment :)
I was halfway through saying that what made this one-shot so great was that it could be about anyone, any one character in the HP universe, and then I realized that was your title and was quite blown away.
classicblack Report Review
Hullo it's Ali for the Holiday Review Swap!
This was so cute! I absolutely loved it and it makes me want to go on a Jily spree! For you're first Jily fic, it was extremely well-written. I liked how James is nice and cheeky and his little hero comment at the end of the chapter.
One thing to improve on would be to give more background on why they started becoming friends/ Lily started liking him/ James deflated his head. I know it's a short story collection but it would definitely be nice to read your take on why.
I laughed when you said how Lily had said no to James out of habit when he'd asked her out the first week after term started. It was a great way to stress all the times she'd turned him down and very funny!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you! :) I'm glad you liked it so much!
When I finish some of my current WIPs, I might just write a story about how Lily started liking James and how he deflated his head. I have a lot of plunnies, but that one is starting to take hold. :P
Thank you so much for your lovely review! :) Report Review
Hey, it's Ali for the Holiday Review Swap!
I have to say, I was going to get around to reading your story anyway just because I've heard such praise for it and you always seem to be popping up around the forums. Now I just have an excuse to jumpstart reading it!
I must say I wasn't disappointed. I loved this chapter! It was certainly a very abrupt way to begin the story, especially as most people are used to just beginning at the start of the school year. However, I really enjoyed how you just hopped into it on full gear.
I enjoyed your reasoning for why Sirius ran away from home. I would definitely like to read more details about that later, especially explaining why Sirius seems so cheerful after having probably the biggest fight he's ever had with his mother. It was quite shocking to read that Lily's parents are dead. I've only read a few fics where the author has managed to pull off that fact so I'm looking forward to seeing how you explain it.
Your description is phenomenal- you use just the right amount of words without overloading the reader. Overall, nicely done!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Hi darling! Well I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you've heard things about this story! Especially good things :P!
Ah, I may have made what is happening with Sirius a bit confusing. This actually wasn't his reason for running away from him. He ran away the summer before sixth year started, this was just him needing to go *back* to try and get his inheritance. I'll definitely go back through and make that more clear!
The exact way that Lily's parents die, and why Sirius was really with her (although I'll say now it was NOT a romantic reason) come out fully in chapter 8 ;). But we do learn the cause of death next chapter! Just not the full story.
I am so happy you liked the descriptions! I really struggle with hitting that 'just the right' mark with those.
I am so happy you enjoyed this first chapter, and thank you so much for stopping by ♥
Hello, it's Ali from the Holiday Review Swap! Thanks again for reviewing my story :)
I really liked how you used the phrase "all was well now" in the third paragraph. It really tied in the epilogue of DH, whether intentional or not. On the other hand, you described Vernon as "level-headed" which, basing off what we know about Vernon and his temper tantrums, doesn't really seem like a fitting adjective.
However, I loved how you characterized Vernon otherwise. He had just the right amount of obnoxious and rude and a Super Muggle. Arthur seemed a bit too chipper, though. His son just died, not to mention several of his friends, and so I don't think he'd be his normal cheery self, even in the prescence of Muggles. However, I did appreciate all the aspects of the Ministry you described through Dudley's eyes. Very creative!
classicblackAuthor's Response: I see what you mean about level-headed Vernon- I was trying to portray he was not flgihtful or whimsical but I think I used the wrong word so thanks for noticing that :) I didn't catch that before.
Yes Arthur was out of place, though I don't want to give away too much for his behavior plays a part in the story later. But for this chapter yes I do see how it could come across as off.
Thank you for your review and the review swap :) Report Review
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