Reading Reviews From Member: choufleur
55 Reviews Found

Review #1, by choufleurJust Rose: Just a Tea Girl

8th January 2012:
I'm a fan of your "naive Nadias" and "Nosy Nigels!"
Hah, I just can't imagine Rose, with her ticking biological clock, shacked up with Scorpius and 2.1 kids. It would just be... weird.
I love your characterisation of Audrey - just the little things that say so much (calling someone petal? really?).
Brilliant :)
And happy birthday dear stor-e
Happy birthday to you!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the fabulous review :) My biology teacher always used to call me a "negative ninny" in class because I was so moan-y all the time haha, so I think I've used that one somewhere in the story and it's sort of caught on and become a habit.

Thanks so much!

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Review #2, by choufleurSparks: Plots Afoot

6th January 2012:
What a good chapter. It was really nice seeing a couple of other of your characters pop up!
Poor Lucy, I hope she gets to see Hilarion again. Loved the Cyrano de Bergerac idea, and as for a completely different kettle of fish, also grinned at the Bridget Jones reference. Kudos for getting references to two such different things into the same chapter!

Author's Response: Yes! I love more Weasleys. Always a positive thing. Adding more Weasley/Potter cousins to the mix never goes amiss.

Poor Lucy - but she'll hang in there. I had fun throwing in a Bridget Jones bit. Gotta love those books. And I've always loved Cyrano, so I'm really having fun with this idea. It won't go exactly as that play's plot does, of course, but it's definitely inspired by it! Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #3, by choufleurWeather for Ducks: Anoraks and Fluttery Eyelashes

6th January 2012:
Oh, look, another chapter...oh look, another chapter that makes me giggle and grin with fondness for Scorpius and Lucy and their relationship...

"It's already dirty enough" Brilliant line.
psychogeography - sounds far more interesting than either psychology or geography. I'd have far rather done that back in the mists of time than geography.

Oh, Maty-Sue and her fluttering eyelashes. Has she not realised yet that there is no place in one of your stories for someone with poise?

Author's Response: Hee, thank you! Psychogeography is what happens when you study geography in a locked room for ten hours solid and then end up smashing a window out of frustration. Not that I've ever experienced that; I gave up geography way back in third year, although I did have a lot of fun with the dioramas. My lego shanty town was a masterpiece.

There is no place in these stories for poise full stop. These stories are grubby and awkward and slightly hipster. Poise is maaainstream, man.

Thanks for the review! :D ♥

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Review #4, by choufleurstop the presses!: 5

6th January 2012:
Greta chapter - the plot thickens even further...
The cast of characters you have are great, I really like how you have developed the next gens.
Write more soon!

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Review #5, by choufleurGame Theory: Act IV. A Vacuum.

6th January 2012:
I'm not sure there's anything I can say that you don't already know - or at least /should/ know. You have:
Interesting, believable characters
Great, witty dialogue
Little, snarky lines I love (Firenze's class statistics)
Some mystery as to where this is going (I was not expecting Lily!)
And just, overally (which is now a word. Or should be), fantastic writing!

Author's Response: Oh lawdy, this review. -blush- I am super duper flattered and honored and happy to hear all of this, since they are all very good things and things I strive to achieve and am ecstatic to reach! So overally (I agree, this should be a word), thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy!

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Review #6, by choufleurSouthern Cross: Decisions and Departures

6th January 2012:
Gah I was not expecting it to finish in this chapter. There I was, merrily chugging along, laughing at Adelaide, when, wham, bam - done. I only found this story a few weeks ago, but I'm so pleased she got such a nice ending - although I will be on a look out for a sequel.
Henry's so cute. I want one.
And also - is she mental? Flying? I'v done it twice and I'm not a fan. Yeah I get the whole muggle thing...but still. She can still use magic to travel!

Author's Response: I know, it was a bit abrupt...I feel like I should have given you more warning :P
The sequel should be out soonish...I'm tentatively saying early February, so keep a look out for it!
I kinda want a Henry too. Just sayin'.
Hey now, flying's fun! Well, airports are fun. Sitting on the plane for hours and hours isn't...But that's another author-is-overseas-and-is-really-looking-forward-to-landing-in-Auckland-Airport-when-she-comes-home-so-let's-make-Adelaide-do-that-too moments :P
Thanks for reading!

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Review #7, by choufleurTwice Defied: New Beginnings & Old Endings

6th January 2012:
I really liked this chapter. I think it worked really well in the two halves, seeing how both of them were going about their own preparations etc.
I loved Sirius' reaction at the end - so in character! And I also like how the Marauders are not supermen - they have trouble with the level of spells involved too. Good mention of Peter being good at Occulmency!
I sense tension ahead for Lily and Petunia in a flat together in London...

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I can't even tell you how nice it is to hear that you liked the chapter. I was kind of petrified after updating, thinking that my worst fears were going to be confirmed, but--yay, you liked it!

I'm glad you appreciated the Marauders not being supermen, to use your words. I always try to keep their age in perspective--they're really only teenagers, after all, so it would be unrealistic to have them be good at everything right away. I thought having some skill at Occlumency only fit with the Peter I've written so far, and the Peter we all know is coming...

Thank you so, SO much for the review! It means a lot.

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Review #8, by choufleurThe Art of Surviving.: Pain.

6th January 2012:
Throughout the first half of this, I was going "OH MY GOD NO LILY YOU IDIOT GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING" more or less on repeat.
Poor James - I would sympathise with him on this!
And Sirius had some wise words too - their characters and voices are all so well defined, I think you do that so well. I definitely wouldn't have enough self control not to scream!
Great chapter, thanks for the update!

Author's Response: Heheh, I think its fair to say James has quite a valid point this time... but, ah, what can we do? Lily is just a bit of a fool. She can't help it.

Thank you so very much for this lovely review :D


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Review #9, by choufleurStill Delicate: Double Negative

5th January 2012:
I'm so pleased Rose's life is going well. I feel, however, that because it's going so well, something is going to go wrong, which worries me. I want her to have a happy ever after with Tom!

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Review #10, by choufleurSouthern Cross: First Dates

5th January 2012:
Lucky Adelaide - at least she's in a country that is obsessed by Rugby for the World Cup. RUGBY DOESN'T EXIST IN BRAZIL.
I saw not one single match, I was so upset.
Trying to explain it to Brazilians: "umm, it's like American Football, but for real men..."
You get the atmosphere exactly right, and their kiss was brilliant! Loved Henry's cheesy line too.
And another coincidence (I'm practically Addie over here) - I made a mango pavlova here the other day. Apart from double cream doesn't really exist either. But oh well, I liked it!

Author's Response: Oh believe me, I was bemoaning my country's obsession with rugby all during the World Cup - until the final three games NZ played in, when I joined in with cheering and yelling as loud as anyone else in the country :P
"It's like American Football, but for real men." That is honestly the best comment I've ever heard in a review. Go you.
YOU HAD A PAV. I AM SO JELLY. I can't even remember the last time I had one. Le sigh...
Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by choufleurWeather for Ducks: The Keeper and the Seeker

4th January 2012:
A Mary-Sue has arrived! And already, she's annoyingly perfect in every way - hmmm, tricky to decide whether she or Rose are worse. Maybe I should give her a chance...but then again, maybe not.
Nice sappy moment with Scorpius and being in love, made me go ah.

I love your puns and jokes; Cameraderie, and meeting the kids in a dark alley (I always say that but thankfully have not yet met a troupe of egrets in a small Scottish town at nightfall, in said dark alley. Only a matter of time though.)
Honestly, though, the inhabitants of New New Elgin are well weird, as one might say... I could just imagine them with their faces pressed to the glass!

Do I get a hint of personal experience: 'I'd probably have covered it up with a newspaper if I'd been on the train or something.'?? How many Quidditch smut novels have you read on the tube? Oh wait, you read HP fanfiction ;)

Oh, and poor innocent Lucy - writing /smut/! How can she stoop to that level?!

Author's Response: If you think Rose and Mary Sue are bad, think of a combination of the two...the world might end. It'd be like typing google into google.

Puns are my lifeblood. I honestly spent a full half hour yesterday coming up with fish-related puns (I was with friends, don't worry, it's not like I sit curled up in a darkened room coming up with puns, although the latter does seem far more likely).

Haha! Oh yes. Never had a chance to read fanfic on the tube, but I better make that a life goal.

Poor wee Lucy indeed. Glad you liked it, and thanks for the review! ♥

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Review #12, by choufleurAnd Capers Ensue: Destination Downhill

3rd January 2012:
To start with, I was saying this to myself at this line:

"Yeah, yeah, and I'm the daughter of the girl who rejected him."

And then, what do I know, but she totally floored Scorpius - until he bounced back. Ahh well. I am intrigued by the mention of Bea's dad - yay for quick updating, long may it continue!
I just adored every bit of this chapter, but I'm in a rush so can't tell you all the bits I did...

Author's Response: I was worried but also so so excited for everyone and their volatility this chapter 8D And I'm glad you caught those bits on her Dad. It doesn't really come up until later, but I wanted to slip some things in.

Thank you so much! ^__^

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Review #13, by choufleurAn Improbable Fiction: To Persuade the Minister

3rd January 2012:
Flitwick makes me giggle so much - how he's sharp in head, gasps in surprise at thing he already knows... love him so much!
You get Percy just right - the italics used on /in cahoots/ is just spot on!
And Cedric's speech - I can just imagine him reciting it - if it were me, I'd probably forget what I was supposed to say half way through or summat. Kudos to ghost Cedric!
oh, and Hugo calling Neville and Scorpius for company and because he can't have an adventure without them... baw so cute!
Once moe, a brill chapter!

Author's Response: Hahah thank you! I love Flitwick, he's turned into more of his own character and less of my ideas as I've written him more. I'm admittedly making him an exaggeration of the potential for silliness we saw in the books, so I'm glad it's not bothersome. I think a lot of the characters in this story are a kind of exaggeration, so maybe that's why it works.

I love the phrase /in cahoots./ I can just imagine Percy saying it in disgust. Percy's so cute, he thinks he's this big shot and really he's just the nerdy prefect he's always been :))

I would also forget halfway through! I should have given him ghost note cards or something. But I don't know, maybe you get smarter as a ghost! It could happen, they've invented ghost /food/ after all ;)

I had to bring the trio back together and I've had this scene in mind since I started /planning/ this novel. Hugo is wholly dedicated to the integrity of his little rag-tag team :)

Thank you so much for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!

- lily

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Review #14, by choufleurWith All Things: Angelina, December 1994

3rd January 2012:
This is so lovely :) Angelina is such a nice character, and you get the relationships between the girls perfectly. Poor George, he was always the quieter twin, wasn't he?
You write from Angelina's point of view in third person really really well, as the reader gets to know exactly what you want them to know, with dropped hints and all (that sentence doesn't make much sense but I hope you can understand it!)
My one nitpicking point that is so irritatingly painstaking that I shouldn't really bother to post it, is that, in common with most British schools, they don't have exams at the end of the winter term, usually.
I love Georgelina stories, so I'm so glad you are writing this one so beautifully, and I think the alternating characters and alternating time works really well.
Update soon please!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for your review. I love random unsolicited reviews, and am always pleasantly surprised to see them when you leave them. pahaha. I'm definitely not british, and so had no idea that there were no winter exams, but I think it's a small enough detail to keep from detracting from the story.

I'm thrilled you are a georgelina fan and hope that you continue reading along as their stories continue to unfold.

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Review #15, by choufleurGrowing Up Magical: Colin

3rd January 2012:
So cute! You do such a good job in all your stories of getting a child's voice across. I am in awe.
The only sentence I thought was a little off was 'But I think the rabbit might have a better home with you.' I don't know, it just sounds a tiny bit adult.
But that's me being really pendantic and annoying, so ignore me :)
I wonder who is next... are you going to do any characters outside of Hogwarts era, if you know what I mean? Or just ones we know quite well?
Either way, can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much -- I try very hard to write in a sort of childlike voice, but of course to still make sense, so I really appreciate the compliment! :3

This collection is purely for the Hogwarts-era characters, those around Harry's own age, roughly. I'm not sure who's next myself, but I hope I'll see you back for the third chapter! Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #16, by choufleurThe Potter And The Weasley Kids Do Hogwarts: The Key

2nd January 2012:
Great chapter :)
I particularly like 'Look, I'm a Malfoy - I'm used to a chilly atmosphere!'
Keep it us - will the confusions never end?!

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Review #17, by choufleurSouthern Cross: Homesick

1st January 2012:
Ahhh, poor Adelaide. Being homesick's no fun :(, been there, done that...blah blah blah.
Great chapter, nice to see another side - Hogwarts isn't all fun and games all the time!
Ahaha, Scorpius crying for his mummy!
I have to admit, the Kiwi culture stuff is slightly lost on me though!
Write more soon please :)

Author's Response: I did have to include a chapter like this - nobody goes overseas for a long time without feeling a bit homesick. I don't know where Scorpius crying for his mummy came from exactly, but I kind of like the idea.
This was a particularly cruel chapter for my overseas readers, I'm sorry :P I had to throw in a whole lot of references that wouldn't make sense to anyone outside NZ (though apparently some of them are known in Australia) but hopefully the references I can't explain will be few and far between. Next chapter will hopefully be up in a few days, thanks for the review!

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Review #18, by choufleurJust Rose: That's Amore

29th December 2011:
This made me laugh so many times.
' Scorpiusís orange face caught my eye and I turned to see if heíd suddenly fake-tanned himself, but it was only the glow from the street lights.' HAHAHAHAHAHA I would love to see a fake-tanned Scorpius!
' he merely gave the impression he was trying to dry nail varnish by waggling his fingers.' We've all done it...
'My eyebrows were almost falling off my face from too much emotion.' I do not understand this, but it still made me giggle.
And Scorpius describing his father as a loser - love it!

Author's Response: I have to say, I might slip in an accidental tanning for Scorpius, just because I think he'd wear it absurdly well in a weird way. He can get away with anything because he's already so weird ;)

Haha, if you imagine your eyebrows rising higher and higher, they'd at some point fall off your head, if that was possible :P

thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #19, by choufleurTake Flight: Holly

29th December 2011:
Wow, I was reading along, slightly expecting that it would all turn out a similar story as some others I have read (I don't mean that as a bad thing, just that I could see how it could have played out) and then you whack a brain tumour into the mix. I was not expecting it at all!
I like how their relationship is developing, and I definitely feel it is more realistic that she didn't get onto the team. Well done :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review :) I never intended her to make the team...I agree, it isn't very realistic. It would be the perfect, happy ending thing to do, but then, this isn't the end of the story :P We need some sort of conflict and challenge.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #20, by choufleurIf You Love Someone You Say It: I Always Loved You

22nd December 2011:
Ahh, that was really cute - although I can't imagine Ron being that cute :P but he does love Hermione, so it's understandable :)
Just to let you know, your Latin is a bit dodge - doesn't mean what you want it to mean. If you want, send me a PM at the forums and I'll sort it for you?

Author's Response: Aw thanks! Yeah, I shouldn't really trust Google Translate XD I'll keep your offer in mind though! Thank you xxx

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Review #21, by choufleurAll the Abstract Nouns: Eighteen

20th December 2011:
Gahhh this is amazing. Just so. true.
Love it, actually adore the entire thing! and write more.
pretty please with a cherry on top.

Author's Response: Ahha, thank you very much! I drew on a lot of my own experience about this kind of thing, and truth was essentially what I was going for. SO thanks!

There should be another chapter very soon :) :)


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Review #22, by choufleurTake Flight: Vine

20th December 2011:
Just to add to the review I just left - I'm so please it's James who's the clumsy one, not Olivia! so much less cliche-ed - but how does that translate to professional Quidditch prospects?
Bonus points for having a character named Ringo!

Author's Response: Haha, yes, James is the clumsy one. I think I mentioned it briefly (or do so later) that he's clumsy on the ground, but not so in the air. It does prevent challenges however ;)

Ah, yes, a friend of mine dared me to use the first names of all the Beatles in my story as a NaNo challenge :P

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Review #23, by choufleurTake Flight: Pear

20th December 2011:
I'm really enjoying this story. I love the wand theme and how you name the chapters, as well as how Olivia feels so much more comfortable with wand woods showing personality than with people.
I worry a little about the fact that she has such a strong dislike for James - why? Are we going to learn more about where it stems from, because at the moment it seems a little artificial.
I love the info about Hufflepuff - I was sorted into Ravenclaw on Pottermore and I really want to know more about the other houses!
I think the reactions of the people around her to her mother's death are very convincing too :)
I'm going to favourite to

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading :) As for her dislike for James...well, basically, this story was my NaNo novel, and the entire thing was written in ten days. Now, that doesn't excuse anything, but considering I wrote it at quite a fast pace, there's a few things that don't really have the depth behind them that they should have. James in particular was one such thing, and when I (if ever :P ) have the time to rewrite this, that would be one thing I'll flesh out. I agree with you on that 100%, and thank you for pointing it out. As I release chapters, hopefully I'll edit it a bit so that it gets fixed up.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #24, by choufleurWeather for Ducks: A Duck in the Pint

19th December 2011:
OK, this review is going to consist solely of phrases that I /adore/ in this chapter:
"Your first sentence should be a fishhook that embeds itself in the metaphorical mouth of your reader."
"celestial fisticuffs"
"When you come for a pint in the duck, you get a duck in your pint"
"Heíd left ten minutes later in a blur of maroon cardigan and telephoto lens" (why I find that funny I do not know)
"Itíll be a piece of cake, Iím sure. A walk in the park and a piece of cake. A cake-themed picnic in a park on a really lovely sunny day"

Actually, it might be quicker to copy the whole chapter...


thanks for the review :D ♥

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Review #25, by choufleurBloody Tuesday: Bayard's Dream Boutique

5th December 2011:
YOU'RE BACK! And a lovely chapter to get us going again, I can't wait to see where things head.
I want to know more about the dreams, and more about everything really.
I loved the polyjuice potion bit and I especially like the extra details about the characters we get, such as Auntie Malkin's embroidery.
Hope you find time to write more soon!
Cathy x

Author's Response: Oh, lovely beta! Sorry I've been MIA, graduate school is a LOT of work...probably won't have the next chapter until after winter break (assuming I survive finals...120 pages of papers due by next Friday!).
Thank you so much for being so patient and awesome and supportive.

xoxo wenderbender

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