Reading Reviews From Member: Owlpost68
  
840 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 6: May 2nd, 2004

2nd September 2015:
I loved this one, like your others, but I was really able to visualize the description, from Vic's cake, to her mother's rant, Bill's new beard, the flowers, everything. I loved the picture of Hagrid and little James, that was so adorable! of course vic would accidentally let it be known that her mother was pregnant again, that was so cute lol.
My favorite line:
"They enjoyed the cream cake while listening to George speaking, in a very loud voice and with glittering eyes, about just how much his eldest brother must like girls to have his third kid on the way" LOL

just one typo that I found was when ron and hermione were apparating home I think you meant "a few Un-comfortable moments later" you said comfortable.

So glad you updated :) Great job!

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Review #2, by Owlpost68A Man Named Newt Scamander: Part One of One

23rd August 2015:
Oh my gosh, where do I even start? These were the PERFECT characters to do this challenge with. Really, I can't think of... okay, maybe something with Dumbledore, but even then, really there's no one else I could really see this challenge working for.

What I can't get over was that you were somehow able to explain words without repeating yourself. Also, I surprised myself by knowing or figuring out a good 70-80 percent of them anyway. The rest you were unbelievable using in context.

Another thing I'm amazed with is how you were even able to describe the surroundings so it didn't feel like it was ALL just words. That is so important and I think it's because you were describing the amazing places he's been and the things he's seen.

I really cannot say enough about this story, this might be one of my favorites which I'll do after leaving this review.

Thank you so much!
Team Red

Author's Response:

Hi!

Ah, thank you. This was so much fun to write, using all those crazy words. I think I put together several different lists, even though I only had to use ten words. Context is important with whatever words you choose. I'm happy that you thought everything fit well inside the story. That was one of the reasons that I picked this character. I thought it would flow more naturally than with other characters who we know don't talk or think this way.

Thanks so much for taking a chance on this story. You never know what you're going to get!

Pix


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Review #3, by Owlpost68Fred and George and the Birthday Surprise: Stuffed frogs and fuzzy bunnies

23rd August 2015:
uh oh, I think Charlie just introduced them to April Fools day... It was great seeing them stop the Lemonade pitcher from falling over, that would have been so bad lol, I really thought it was going to happen, but it didn't!
Percy sliding on the whipped cream was a great visual lol, I could just see it :) Also, Ginny tossing the stuffies at them was good too lol.

Team red!

Author's Response:

Yes, let's blame it all on Charlie. LOL! I had fun reading your reviews. Thanks so much!

Pix


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Review #4, by Owlpost68Fred and George and the Birthday Surprise: What's in the box?

23rd August 2015:
This was so silly and cute, I especially liked Ginny and Bill.
I hadn't really thought about the First Magic much and how that would be such an important day in a wizard family. They sort of went into it about Neville once when he said he went bouncing down the driveway after his uncle chucked him out a window.
I could totally see Fred and George as early bloomers since they're twins. Two times as powerful.
Everyone's so cute, great job!

Team red!

Author's Response:

Ginny was my favorite to write here, because she's the youngest and would have the potential for the most havoc. Though as you can see, Fred and George will get their act together soon and be the kings of havoc in their own time.

Thanks for the sweet reviews!

Pix


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Review #5, by Owlpost68Fred and George and the Birthday Surprise: We only borrowed it and then we put it back.

23rd August 2015:
This was a pretty cute beginning. I can definitely picture their room vividly with the closet full to bursting, things stuffed under their bed and under the covers. It's very much 5/6 years old I can imagine. The way you described all the brothers, sneaking wands and Percy saying that once you turn 6 you're pretty much all grown up is so like him :)

The one cc I'd give would be that... Fred and George's birthday is in April... so Bill would be at school by then, unless, possibly, he's home for easter holiday? but really that was the only "flaw" I saw. It was still super cute :)

Go team Red!
-Heather

Author's Response:

Hi Heather!

Thanks so much for dropping in on my Fred and George story! I was first daunted by the large cast of characters, but it ended up working out okay. Yes, let's pretend that Bill's on holiday. That works.

Pix


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Review #6, by Owlpost68Harry Potter and the First Mission: Reconstruction and Funeral

21st August 2015:
Hi again!
I found this chapter really interesting. I never thought of them carrying the coffin or burning or anything. I've recently been watching a show that has witches and burning... this is obviously completely different, but it was a great connection with some pagen history and the hp universe.

You also really portrayed Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's grief very well. It was so heartbreaking. I liked that Ginny put down the flowers around the grave, including heather flowers! :)

I did think the beginning of the chapter was a little awkward, why was he helping Hagrid with Buckbeak? And I would have thought Harry would know about plans to go back to the burrow more immediately than Bill needing to tell him.
Don't get me wrong, I thought it was great Harry got some time with Buckbeak (He had been renamed Witherwings) and it was interesting to hear how Bill helped sealing Dumbledore's tomb and the protective spells around the castle, I just thought if you gave a little more detail it would be a better scene. I did love the scenery description though!

Go team Red!
Heather

Author's Response: Hi, Heather. Thank you again for Reading and Review.

This chapter was based on my RL experience, so it maybe too hard for young readers to keep reading through, but I wanted to express each life is "one and only".

The ceremony may be not the one in England but I hope you could understand the theme I wanted to say.

Okay, talking of Buckbeak, they fought with Harry at the battle of Hogwarts in the book 7. The impression of Harry on the wings of Buckbeak at the movie 3 was so strong, that I put the scene of them here, too. I may like the scene where Harry in the sky like on the back of Buckbeak or the broomstick or ...(spoiler..you'll be able to find others in the next story, "Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid". Bill will also enter there more often. )

Kenny



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Review #7, by Owlpost68Harry Potter and the First Mission: Life Still Goes On

20th August 2015:
Hi there, I thought I'd check out your version of what happened after battle :) There were quite a few things you thought of that I didn't, like the scars! What a great idea :) Also, the idea that they would be training to be auror's at Hogwarts, that was brilliant.
There are of course some editing that could be done with typos, like I'm pretty sure you said kinsley a few times in the beginning, but there are a few more important things to mention.
I thought the pace seemed a little too quick, though they needed to talk to kingsley and find Bill, which is another great idea, I just thought that their grief should be a little more apparent. I know I wouldn't think of half these things if I was going through anything like they were. Just a thought. The dialogue also read quickly.

All in all, you had some really great ideas and I'll definitely read on :)
Go team red!

Author's Response: Thank you, Heather!

It's my first story written in English. I started writing HPFF for the first time from here. I didn't know how to write novels in English. I just wanted to read good Auror stories but there were a few I could find, so I jumped in writing by myself.

Your opinion is right. My muse just hurried to their training. But as you noticed, I took much space for the grief things in the next chapter. I tackled the theme straight there. See you soon!

Kenny


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Review #8, by Owlpost68Silence: The Lake

18th August 2015:
This was awesome!!
Really, I loved how cannon it all felt, and at first, before you introduced James with his name I felt like it could have been Severous too, which really fits. Really, he and James have the same obsession, but show it in different ways.
Also, I loved the use of Present Tense, it felt like a poem more than a story at times, and I think it's because you use a lot of sensory details too, like you suggested with my Sirius story. Also, I liked that James didn't agree to her terms right away, that was very like him, but he did relent in the end. It was left like, it'll probably still take some time for him to get used to it, but he'll get better at it. I think the only cc I can give is that I would have liked more Sirius, maybe feeling James's forehead to see if he was feeling ok, something like that.
Loved it!
Team Red :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

I definitely tried to keep it all cannon.

Ah. I'm glad that you noticed that it could be either Severus or James. I purposefully left it ambiguous.

Wow. Like a poem? That's such a lovely compliment to receive.

James can definitely be stubborn, but he's learning.

I can understand the desire for more Sirius, but he's really only in the very side of this story, so I thought it was fitting that he just had a few lines.

Thanks for the lovely review.

~Kaitlin


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Review #9, by Owlpost68Tengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Broken Heart

17th August 2015:
This was really interesting, you have us all wondering what Draco's up to, and I thought it was sweet that you included the relationship with his son and how Scorpius wants to be like his father. I've never read anything like that before. I feel really bad that Draco seems to be in the same situation he was in while he was a student. I wish he would talk to Harry about it and get protection, but then it wouldn't be interesting.
I've read other reviews and know that you know about some of the things that might need editing, so I won't mention it, but I thought the overall message and feelings were in it and didn't distract too much. Good job!
Go red team :D

Author's Response: Thank you Heather for stopping by again.

I've just started Next Generation stoies recently, so it may be awkward descriptions about Draco and Scorpius. But you encourage me, I feel very thankful for this.

Your instinct is right. Draco is too stubborn to ask for Harry's help.

I'll write the next chapter ASAP. I'll be back to your story as well.

Kenny


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Review #10, by Owlpost68Tengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Dripping Wing

17th August 2015:
I truly loved this, the story of Saki and Shota could be an original fiction if you wanted! I wish school could have let us write stories instead of essays, it would have been a lot more fun. I thought it was funny that Hagrid never told him how Kappa's produce young, of course he would have left that bit out lol.
As for some critique, I noticed that in the beginning there were 2 different times you said that Shota went missing at 7 years old, when I really think 1 time is needed since it's mentioned again later on which was fine.

Also, maybe if you found another way to say "Yeah," in their conversation. Like, yes, or ok, or sometimes it didn't even need anything. It might be a little less repetitive.
Also, just a little grammar mistake here, "She was leaving there then felt dripping from above on her head." This could be done a couple of ways, but I would do, 'She was just leaving when she felt dripping from above on her head' it just read a little awkwardly.

I also really liked incorporating that line from the song where you did. Overall, you did wonderfully :)

Red team!

Author's Response: Hi, Heather. I was glad that my new Gryffindor fellow joined in the CR. Thank you for adding me as your favorite author list.

Oh, did your school let you write essays? It sounds interesting, too. In my school days, they let us repeat tests and tests, we were very bored. Even now schools here can't change the style because of the entrance examination.

Thank you for your advice, too. I'll do fix them ASAP. (I have others to fix in other stories, too. Thank you for letteing me remind of them.)

Rose's song challenge inspired the story here. We're very lucky to be in HPFF, aren't we?

Kenny


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Review #11, by Owlpost68Tengu and a Daughter of Ninja: Father’s Old Textbook (Prologue)

17th August 2015:
This was a fun introduction to the story. I had kind of pictured Draco as a Potions teacher, I mean really, what else would he do? lol Also, I liked how you brought up Ginny getting second hand books, really, there's no reason to to buy new books if you don't need to. Plus, it takes away the stereotype that the Potters are wealthy and the Weasley's are poor. Who would be able to tease them for one or the other?

I think the one critic I have is that instead of Al hanging out with Hagrid 'cause he looks like his dad, I would have just had Al really like animals and was just drawn to him that way. I know it's really deeper than that anyway, but if you wanted to change it a little it might read that way too.
Very impressive that you used JK's other books too! I'm so nerdy when it comes to making sure the facts in stories are accurate, so ten points to Gryffindor! lol

Anyway, Go Red Team!
-Heather

Author's Response: Wow, you wrote review so fast. Thank you for so many kind words.

I'm glad you enjoyed the episode about the old textbook which belonged to Harry. I felt a little excited to find Snape's scribble on the page of Kappa in the book. So I didn't hesitate to jump in the Magical Creature Challenge.

Thank you for your suggestion. I need to edit this chapter, too.

I'm very happy to get a fellow Gryffindor like you. Welcome back!

Kenny


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Review #12, by Owlpost68In Every Stitch: Eight

15th August 2015:
I absolutely loved this, I felt myself getting all choked up. She really does stand for everything Lily would have wanted Harry to have growing up. I also couldn't help but think of Fred and that now there is one less sweater she's knitting. I can't help but think that when she started knitting for the christmas season after he died how hard that would be on her. Even when there are new members of the family it'll always be one less then she'd have to make if he were alive... sigh. This had so much love in it, this is one of my favorite interpretations of Molly. Great job!

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Review #13, by Owlpost68Forever: Questions

14th August 2015:
Gooo Red team!
OK, so I was going to go to bed but then I thought, nooo just one more, and I'm so glad I did, this was adorable, and everyone was so in character! I mean, it was hilarious when Harry and Ron were practicing and Ron was trying not to laugh. I'm so glad he didn't try to plan out exactly what he'd say and did it as spontaneous as he did. Plus it was awesome that he yelled at Hermione to stop being so impatient, that he was trying to propose lol. This was a great last review of the night :) I love the Shakespeare quote too, very well done but not overdone.

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Review #14, by Owlpost68That Night: That Night

14th August 2015:
Hi, this was really really interesting. I loved the dynamic between Percy and George, how close they are even though they're complete opposites and that obviously Percy abandoned the family again. My favorite quote was the part where they were talking about kids and Percy was thinking to himself, "he saw himself glancing at Lee, wondering if he would ever doom them all by having children with his girlfriend"
I had to try and stop myself from laughing since it's late.
As much as I liked the interaction between Percy and Audrey I do wish, after such a long chapter, that they had another real kiss after the burger joint. Even if it was just a light brief one, something that would give them a little more to think about than wondering if their connection was just because of the club and not the conversation. Don't worry, I'll still check out the WIP you have about them, but that was just my two cents.
Really, I thought you captured the brother bond extremely well, and it was intriguing about Percy and what he might have been up to after Fred's death. What you mentioned about George and Angelina was really interesting too.
Anyway, thanks for the review swap!
P.S this was review number 830 :D

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for stopping by! I wrote this ages ago but people still seem to enjoy it, which is a nice surprise. :D I think that George and Percy would make a great duo so I didn't find it too odd that they would hang out. I do think it's great that George is so supportive though, even with the knowledge that Percy ran out on the family for the second time.

Lee should never have kids. Hahaha.

Oddly enough, he does end up having two later on but that's a whole different story. Hahaha.

Well, this is just a companion piece to the actual novel so they weren't going to make much progress. I think that Percy was too afraid of his attraction to Audrey to do much about it at the time though. I add so many little things from my other stories in this because I wanted to flesh it out more, I'm glad that you enjoyed them! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by Owlpost68All the World's a Stage: And One Man in His Time Plays Many Parts

13th August 2015:
This was just as amazing as I thought it was going to be. I especially liked when Harry and Ginny thought of the video camera and said how they needed more blackmail. That is soo something my mom would do, since she has quite a bit on me lol. I really think you captured the chaos of what it's like to have 3 kids and the sentimental moments that come along with being a parent. Even though I'm not one myself, I see a lot of them at work in all walks of life. This somehow captured it all. Great job! :D

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Review #16, by Owlpost68A Glimmer of Light: What's in a Name?

13th August 2015:
Hi again, this was a great little story, and was so cute that Neville was already overprotective. This really hit home for me since I know some people who have had trouble getting a baby for years. They now have a baby girl only 3 months old. There were only a couple of typos: 'it feels me with a joy' Fills
'She'll be fine, Neville. Honesty.' Honestly
The interaction between Alice and her granddaughter was adorable too. The only thing I would change would be that, as far as I know, you can't leave the hospital without naming the kid first. If they had brought the baby up to visit when she was still in the hospital anyway, that might work.
Just a thought.
Either way, loved it :) Good job!

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Review #17, by Owlpost68A Box of Chocolates: One: When Penny Eats Some Bad Chocolate

12th August 2015:
I absolutely love this. I love chocolate and raspberry, Avengers and Big Bang Theory, which, by the way, the reference was hilarious :D Also, big Beatles Fan. Soo, basically, best late night review I've done in a long time. I saw in the common room you weren't having a great day and thought, everyone likes reviews, so, surprise! I can't wait to see what happens next :) Great job!

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Review #18, by Owlpost68Bedtime Stories: Bedtime Stories

12th August 2015:
I loved this, it was so Ron and the present tense was done so well. I did notice near the end that you missed a word from this line: "She’s going to a special one,” Hermione says, pride filling her tone."
I think you meant 'she's going to BE a special one.'
The ending was great, I have seen Zorro and remember that part in the beginning when he was acting out his latest fight for his daughter and the mother caught him. It was so sad that his wife died. I'm glad that doesn't have to happen here. You ended it perfectly with Hermione reminding Ron not to mention Rose not liking Cinderella to her parents lol.
Great job!

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Review #19, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 6: The Test Result

4th August 2015:
This was another perfectly written chapter. You balanced the worries of her Quidditch career and truly being happy about getting pregnant too. I think they both acted very reasonably :D
great job!

Author's Response: aw, I'm so glad you liked it, and that you found their reactions believable! Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing xx

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Review #20, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 5: Comfort

3rd August 2015:
That was sooo Ron!! He asked her like it was completely his idea, that no one could have possibly thought of it before lol. Also so Hermione being very skeptical if he was serious or not. Really, I can't see the proposal going any different for this story. Plus, Neville and Hannah cuteness!

Author's Response: Aw, i'm so glad you thought it was fitting for Ron! Hah, yes, he totally saw it that way. I'm so nervous about posting "big moments," like proposal, so it honestly means the world to me that you liked it. And Neville and Hannah of course. I love the idea of them getting together.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing xxx


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Review #21, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 1: Hogsmeade

24th July 2015:
Whew, you almost gave me a heart attack with the Dean, Harry, Ginny triangle. I was really hoping it wouldn't turn into anything longer than that. I'm glad they all made up, and I'm glad they got some extra time together :)

This was the only thing I caught near the end:
"Dean, Neville and Lune"- Luna

Good job!

Author's Response: Hah, sorry about that! I'm glad you agree that it should be resolved quite easily. After all, Harry and Ginny do know each other and trust each other.

Thank you for pointing that out, and again, for reading and reviewing xx


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Review #22, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 1: September

24th July 2015:
oh, wow, yeah that's awkward. Her ex is trying out for the position harry was?? oi.

here's my notes:
"He smiled ingeniously"-genially, it seems close, but ingeniously means brilliant or inventive. Genially means amiable or friendly.
"which we wasn’t supposed to touch"- he

I also thought it was a great idea to include something about the Thestrals, it'll probably be the first thing Hagrid covers in class and will be the most anyone at Hogwarts has seen them at once.

Good job!

Author's Response: Awkward is the word!

Thank you so much for those corrections. I appreciate it so much. I agree that Hagrid will probably talk a lot about the Thestrals in the beginning of each year. I'm glad you liked the idea of including them. I thought they would represent a sort of loss of innocence.

Thank you again for a very helpful review xx


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Review #23, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 1: Back to Hogwarts

24th July 2015:
Aww, I thought it was sweet. I also forgot that Bill and Fleur would get pregnant around then, which is good 'cause I'm right around that point in my story too lol.
There were only a few things to mention:

“I meant it, you know,” he then told her.”- Just remove extra " at the end

"the warmth of her body, streaming over to his--"- just an awkward description, a suggestion might be, 'the warmth of her body enveloping his'

good job!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Hah, that's funny that you had Fleur get pregnant around the same time.

Thank you so much for pointing out those mistakes and for still reading and reviewing xx


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Review #24, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 1: The Final Journey

23rd July 2015:
I wanted to cry with Mrs. Weasley after George said what he did about when he and Fred grew old from that charm. That would be the only time they'd get to see each other old. Oh, and Ron and Hermione, why can't they ever just say what they feel? I wonder if Ron will go after her somehow.

There was only one typo this time:
"Fleur managed to pull of something in between"- add an f.

Great job!

Author's Response: Yes, that is the only time they saw each other old. It's really sad... As for Ron and Hermione, I can't imagine things not being awkward to start with. Of course, they should realize that they both feel the same way about each other and that they are only making things more complicated than they need to me.

Thank you for pointing out that spelling error!

And thank you for another review! Xx


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Review #25, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 1: The First Day

23rd July 2015:
This was really really good! And I only found just a few errors, things like a missing letter or something, here they are:

"All of their faces reflecred"- t instead of r

"Harrys made a paus"- Harry's and add an e

"scrubbed the blood of the desks."- off

This was really a great way to write it. I have a story like it but I didn't know how to go about writing it from different points of view. This helps a lot!
Thanks

Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for pointing out those errors, I will make sure to fix them when I get the chance. And that's really cool that you can find inspiration from this - I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed this xx


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