Reading Reviews From Member: Owlpost68
  
929 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Owlpost68Out of the Magical World: The Night of Sorrow

17th April 2016:
It's funny, I'm reading this now when spring is just beginning here. I desperately need some spring happiness too. I almost wish you included some flowers she could have noticed during her happiest times and maybe had her see them just outside her shop, or the old man hands her a small flower, giving her some hope. I just think a few connections like that throughout the story would have helped. It seemed like the her whole story was a little too quick, if it was broken up with a constant reminder like a flower or something to connect with the present moment, it could be a nice touch.

I really thought it was very emotionally well done. It explained a bit more of why she felt the way she did. I never really thought she'd still care for him all that time. I do hope she finds love where she is now though.
good job!

Review tag!

Author's Response: Hi, Heather! Thank you for stopping by. Handing a flower maybe a good idea. I may add one more chapter. I feel like changing this one-shot to multi-chaptered one.


The old man wouldn't give Cho a flower, but readers might expect her happiness, so I'll write more about Cho. When I finish story challenges I entered, I'll be back to this story and review yours. :)

Kenny


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Review #2, by Owlpost68A Happy Holiday Indeed: Happy Christmas

16th April 2016:
I wanted to read a story of yours to again thank you for your review :) I'm so glad I did! This was absolutely adorable and you really painted quite a picture of loneliness along with the newfound independence Dobby has. Dumbledore on the other hand is almost the opposite, it's almost as if he's been alone for years, decades even and though he's well respected, no one really notices. Hogwarts is his home, it's his family too.

I really got a kick out of the idea of Dobby and Dumbledore drinking mead and singing christmas carols lol, that was a great visual :D

This was so well done, I really enjoyed it. I entered the tis the season challenge too, it's cute, I hope you read it :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading it! Dobby is one of my favorite characters but I think there's a lot we take for granted when it comes to him. I like to imagine Dobby singing horrendously off key, but Dumbledore wouldn't mind at all. I'm so glad you liked it and your challenge entry was also fabulous! I was laughing the entire time I read it! It's definitely a holiday classic!

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Review #3, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Harry And Ron Have A Talk

15th April 2016:
Really, the guys talk got me teary again. I was thinking "stop it!" lol, yes, it was definitely "male bonding". I know it's hard to do, but Fleur's french is a bit distracting sometimes. I think putting in less of it wouldn't be a bad idea since, she's been there for a while, her english could be improving by now. maybe the accent could stay the same, but less of the exclamations? Just a thought.
Great job!
Keep in touch!
-Heather

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Heather.

I'm glad I could pull on a couple of heartstrings with the boys' talk.

I've had a few comments on my dictation of Fleur's French. I guess I'll have to tone it back some. In my literature classes in college, I always liked that kind of dictation...it put me square in the character having to decipher their language.

By the way, congrats on TA status!!


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Review #4, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Puddlemere vs. Pride of Portree

15th April 2016:
Oh my gosh, you made me want to cry at the end! That was so sweet with Harry and Teddy! Loved the Chi inclusion here, really really interesting. You've made it so unique with that detail. Also loved how Harry was acting in the beginning to let his team take the lead, good idea.

The only critique I have is: "Remus and Tonks when they told him he was Teddy’s godfather"

It was only Remus who asked him to be Godfather, Tonks wasn't there. It had been at Shell Cottage when Remus called on them there.

Oh, and another way the elves could have worn the shirts, it wasn't their master giving them clothes, it was someone else ;)

Really great job, loved it! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello again, Heather!

I love the Harry/Teddy moments! My head canon has Harry and Teddy very involved in each others' lives, so I try to show that early on.

I figured there would be some "Potterheads" who would catch any deviation from canon. And I thought I had been so vigilant in keeping with canon...sigh. :) Nice catch!

Only a few more to go in this story and then...sequel!

Thanks for sticking with my story and thanks for the reviews!


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Review #5, by Owlpost68Yes, Ginevra, There is a Santa Claus: Yes, Ginevra, There is a Santa Claus

22nd March 2016:
This was such an entirely sweet story of a family pulling together. Some of my favorite parts were Ron selling his comics... They were so important to him, but obviously Ginny was more important. I also loved Percy and surprising all of them with making money by doing someone elses' homework. So sweet :)
The exchange between Molly and Arthur was sweet but heartbreaking. That they want the very best for their kids, but that's exactly what they ARE giving them. If not more than if they had all the money they wanted/need.
Really great job!

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Review #6, by Owlpost68Once Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 3rd Year - Happy Chirstmas!

20th March 2016:
This was great :)
to see the conception of the order of the pheonix idea in James and his family, the changes happening for dorcas, and seeing the start of Sirius' collection of posters with Andromedas' and Teds' gift. I did think it was appropriate Sirius said what he did and where he got it from. He was a little tipsy and things like that come out when that happens :)
Sirius and Adhara, that was both funny, cute and touching. They're really starting to open up about each other. I thought your description of that scene was really spot on! the heat and then the chill in the air. it both described the weather and the situation accurately and poetically.
There were a couple of typos here and there, but nothing that interrupted too much.
Good job!

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Review #7, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Before The Wizengamot

19th March 2016:
Oh my gosh!! This was amazing :D And it's so funny too, I was just writing about the Wizengamot in a challenge entry I'm writing for TreacleTart's challenge, though it actually will be taking place somewhere else... ooo... lol anyway. There were a few things I got confused/noted:

creating more questions in their minds than they were answers.-- This sentence read awkwardly, I understood what you meant, but only after rereading it a few times.

Harry realized he had witnessing how Ron,--- Witnessed

Inwardly, she understood why many people became alcoholics-- Loved this, it was so funny lol

very unusual(x2)-- there was a few sentences close together that had this phrase twice.

When Kingsley asked if there was a debate after the agreement to debate with the author, I thought, at first, he was overriding them all and passing Hermione's bill. Maybe it's just me who got confused when he asked for the 2nd debate, but maybe he could be a little more specific to what was being 'seconded' it could help.

Mostly, I absolutely LOVED this whole chapter, how she got the letter, their reaction and Ginny and Kreacher's interactions... so cute! Her muttering and Ron calming her down, again SO CUTE.

Kingsley's face, like he was just going to sit back and watch the show, that was really funny, I couldn't help but grin along with him.

Hermione's speech was flawless! I loved her mention of professor Binns, I wonder if he'll ever know. I think it'd be sweet to find out if it made him happy... omg, what if THAT's his "unfinished business" knowing if what he does for a living MADE a difference! O.o That could be so good, and might actually make him "move on"... hmm

I loved the slam bang finish too, her being stunned :) It was an awesome visual.

Truly GREAT chapter!

Author's Response: Hey, Heather...thanks for the review!

I'll definitely check out my editing blunders! You have no idea how difficult that chapter was to write. I am not an expert on Robert's Rules of Order, but I am fairly familiar with them, as we use them in my fraternal organization (which I was Secretary for 10+ years) and the non-profit organizations I am on the board of. I reviewed the rules numerous times to make sure I followed them correctly (at least, I think I did) so it would be as real as possible. I intentionally left out any type of explanation of the rules so it would be as confusing as it is, many times, in real life; thus creating the sense of confusion for the gallery and Hermione herself.

Hermione's speech took a bit to write, because I wanted it to sound "professorial"...just like you would imagine a speech of hers to be.

I will make sure to re-re-re-edit the goofs out...sometimes you can edit too many times! LOL!

Thanks again for the sentence catches and the great comments!!


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Review #8, by Owlpost68Choices.: Choices are the hardest things to make.

15th March 2016:
Hi, I'm here to try and put a smile on your face :)
I thought this was a lovely one-shot, it brought out the parts of Draco that were obviously there to some extent in the hp series. He was always concerned for his family and that's why he did what he did. mostly, it was also how he was raised.
I found just one tiny typo: "hide in from" I think you meant 'it'.

I guess the one thing at the end I wish you'd mentioned was to also make sure his mother was safe. It didn't seem clear to me. I'm glad he chose love over fear at the end there, that was very poignant.

Good job!

Author's Response: Awwh, thank you Heather!

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Review #9, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Thinking Outside The Box

15th March 2016:
I saw what you did with Kreacher there. It's almost like he's connected with his master's feelings. When he came in and was sad, then again, he was happy when they were, and he wasn't even in the room at the time!
I also was intrigued at how you're integrating chi with magic. It's a really good idea. sort of like you're saying that muggles have a magic of their own, they just don't call it the same thing.
Very interesting chapter!

Author's Response: Hey, Heather! Thanks for dropping by and reviewing!

When I first read the Harry Potter series, that was one of the first things I realized about Kreacher...he was the way he was because of the Blacks' (his masters') emotions and attitudes. Now, he is linked to Harry and Ginny's emotions.

Ah...you like the "chi" integration...good. You'll see more of that later!

Again, thanks for the review, Heather!!


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Review #10, by Owlpost68Once Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 2nd Year - Hogwarts Express, Take Two

8th March 2016:
Aw, James... He's so naive. I still can't believe the accuracy of all the characters personalities. Really is amazing. I felt bad Sirius never knew about Dromeda's marraige, but I still think if Sirius had been a little more understanding and nice towards his brother, maybe he would have wanted to be like him in Gryffindor. He was obviously brave. This chapter alone makes Regulus so lovable. Severous is drifting more to "the dark side" unfortunately. You've really brought out how possessive he was over Lily, but how he got pushed around by Lucious and the rest of them. He never seemed to be able to stand up for himself... not in a good way anyway. It's sad.

I loved the scene with James getting the invisibility cloak! I wanted to jump up and down :)

Again, wonderful job!

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Review #11, by Owlpost68Ronald & Hermione: Ronald & Hermione

7th March 2016:
That was sooo ridiculous :P
I think you wrote Ron pretty well and Harry was adorable how he was reading it and actually getting glued to the pages and movie. Ron was just... Ron. He tried a bit and botched up a lot, but the cutest and most sincere part was when he said Hermione was always his Juliet. The ending was so silly too. It was all a great mix of silliness and love :) Good job!

Author's Response: This story is completely silly and it's supposed to be that way. I just love Ron because he has this air about him that he can be completely ridiculous in one moment and then serious and heartwarming the next. I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks so much for the review.

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Review #12, by Owlpost68Once Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 1st Year - Laying the Bricks

6th March 2016:
How can I review such an amazing chapter? I saw similarities between Harry and Ron's friendship and Sirius and James. I saw how possible it is that Snape was really watching Lily and taking notes from her the whole time, that maybe he got all his potioneering skills from her. That could also be why he wanted the professorship in it because it reminded him of her, it could have also been why he didn't want it. Again, your characterization is so on point I can't believe it. Remus and Peter, their eagerness and the constant reminder that Peter Still had to work hard to feel like he belonged. All the canon details and names we all recognize. I don't know of any Owen Weasley, was that a brother of Arthur's I've never heard of? The one silly thing I caught was this: "The took the empty seat"... I'm guessing should be 'They'.
My heart almost broke when I read the bit about Sirius' mom and Dumbledore. He was characterized SOO well. I can't get over all of it.

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Review #13, by Owlpost68Always: Immeasurable

6th March 2016:
I loved this so much. As someone grieving, it was an important reminder that those we are grieving over are also grieving us. They've left us, and though we'll see them again, it's still a shock. I truly felt Remus' feelings as he broke down in that room and it was so natural that James be the one to be there for him. I had always felt that too. Also, it made sense because of what they unfortunately have in common. For a story that is about death, you made it very realistic and I still felt as if it were as normal as any scene you'd write about for the living. I guess it's reiterating the concept of "life after death"
Amazing job!
Written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

Author's Response: Thank you, Heather! I'm glad the story "worked" and that you could see similarities with your own situation - particularly re: the emotional side. I hope you and your family are both feeling a little better.

I definitely wanted to achieve a kind of equality of experience between the dead and the living both because I believe there's something after and because I feel like it fits with Dumbledore's well known quote about death being "the next great adventure" and I imagine that would be particularly true for people with such a close connection as these three (with Peter painfully, but rightfully cut off as a result of his betrayal).

Thank you again for your kind words and for taking the time to R&R!


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Review #14, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: A Night In The Limelight

6th March 2016:
This was really good for Harry to tell the quidditch leagues about Brighter Futures. I guess the problem I had with it was that it was a little unexciting. The part I really liked was more to do with Lee and Wendy getting together and that the elves started telling Harry stories of his parents at the end. I'd love to hear some more about that :) I still think you just need to work on the dialogue and how people talk, it just doesn't seem all that natural to me, but maybe that's because we all talk different. I guess as writers we need to be open to different styles of writing.
Still, I thought it was a nice chapter :)

Written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

Author's Response: You're on a real tear with the reviews, Heather! You go, girl!!

I hope you liked my attempt at the descriptions of the ladies' dresses and hair styles...that's my attempt at the "girlie" stuff.

And, thanks for the review!!


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Review #15, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: A Surprise for Ginny…and Some Happy Elves

6th March 2016:
This was so adorable. There was a great line you had near the beginning, comparing the sun to how bright and happy Ginny was about the game. So sweet. Also there was a great moment with Ginny and Ron that was heartfelt too. It's so cute to watch the house elves relationships grow with the 4 of them, how they really want to improve each others lives and that really, Leal and Constance are the only ones connected with the Potter Family now besides Harry. I mean, of course some professors knew his parents, but of the Potter legacy itself, they're all that's left besides him. Though you definitely highlight the love between them all, I'd love to read more poetic phrases like you had in the beginning, it just really opened the story to that much more feeling than it had before.
Great job!
Written for HPFF Review-a-thon

Author's Response: Heather,
Sorry to have misled you on the "girl moments". They are in the next chapter "A Night In The Limelight". I should have checked my own story before "teasing" you!

Thanks for the review!! And keep up the good work!!


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Review #16, by Owlpost68Fairies and Wonders: The first encounter

6th March 2016:
huh, okay, so there's what I wanted to know from the first chapter, how it started. I didn't expect it to start with him asking her out, I was under the impression they were just friends. I also didn't expect her to have a twin, that was interesting. I'd still sort of want to see more about her, what her life is like etc... Why does James think she's not an ordinary girl? because she teased him and isn't taking him "siriusly" like her friends. I still think you did a good job describing how teens interact with each other, the girls gossiping, the guys bragging and Olive not wanting to participate in any of it. I hope we see more interactions between her and her sister and family too, it would help establish their characters.
Written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

Author's Response: Thank you for a long review and kind words again! :D. Yes, you're right, i'll write more interactions between her and her family! :D
And yeah, they're definitely not just friends hhh.


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Review #17, by Owlpost68Fairies and Wonders: Are you Sirius?

6th March 2016:
Oh my gosh, "Hugworts" I wanted to laugh so hard, but my mom was in the room and would have been very confused. I did snort though :P This is amazing and though there are a few grammar errors, I love it. I may favorite this after I read more it's so fun. I thought it very realistic she was thinking of all his features in detail, as teens, that's what happens. I'd love to know how they met a bit more. Since she was so shy, how did they start talking on the beach? I'm really glad you included some of Ginny's features on him. All I ever read about how he looks is the brown eyes, not about freckles or the tinge of red hair, but I'm thinking it as head cannon now. I like Olive, but you didn't describe her features as much and I'd like to know more about her. I guess this is all a good thing considering it's the first chapter :)
With a little polishing up, this could be a wonderful story :)
Written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the long review, it's really nice and you're pointing things out i could really use :D

And regarding her looks - there's a description of her looks in the latest chapter - i know it's a bit far in though...


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Review #18, by Owlpost68I'll admit it, I like you: Something like this...

6th March 2016:
This was so sweet almost poetic they way you set it up, them thinking the same things about each other. I remember your stories from a long time ago and how they always felt that way to me. There were a couple of spelling errors, but nothing big and the format was different. The overall feeling was very adolescent and loving. I also liked the couple of paragraphs with Ron and Hermione, very cute. I guess what I felt was missing was variety, since the way you wrote it sort of repeated itself. I'm glad to have found your story again after all these years. I think the way you ended the story with her hoping the memories would haunt her and knowing it would be okay, that was so sweet. Great job, very unique.
Written for HPFF Review-a-thon.

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Review #19, by Owlpost68Leaves of Grass: Leaves of Grass

6th March 2016:
Oh my goodness, I loved this story. It was beautiful and I'm sorry that you had to go this long without a review to tell you so. I've just been dealing with grief myself and really connected with Ginny's anguish. The baby deer was a very sweet reminder of Harry's love for her and how fleeting the experience is. Even though it's quick, it is often enough for us to move forward through the darkness towards that little bit of love. I absolutely connected with the feelings of the grass, the water. Saying "I love you" into the wind was beautiful because it's as if it would, of course, be sent to Harry. I'm so sad that it took this long for you to get a review on this, but I hope you see it someday and know how well you did.

Reviewed for the HPFF Review-a-thon

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Review #20, by Owlpost68Once Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: 1st Year - First Impressions, Undone

6th March 2016:
This was really good too. I think it was so sweet when you brought up Lily missing her father and Petunia. I've never been away from home that long so I can only imagine what it will be like for me when I move out... eek. Poor Sirius, he has no idea how hard his parents are going to take it... I never heard of Selwyn being a Gryffindor name, but I like the idea that he wasn't the only one to be sorted a Gryffindor when they were expecting Slytherin. She doesn't seem to be taking it in stride though. I never heard of the gryffindor common room having bunk beds, but I like it. I thought it was a great chapter to point out that the sorting isn't as simple as it seems, especially for families and friends. Again though, you did a great job letting their characters/personalities shine!
Written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

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Review #21, by Owlpost68Once Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

6th March 2016:
So, there's a reason I hadn't read this yet and that's because I thought I already had :P I think I got it confused with Jchrissy's stories and they were amazing. I'm happy to say that this, I feel, is just as good! I love the look into each of their stories and home lives, especially Peter and Remus as we haven't seen or heard much about their early days at all. I think you've characterized them all perfectly and can't wait to read the rest :) I especially loved all the details, like Lyall's knowledge about Boggarts and different things we see the Remus WE know, start to learn, already knew about. I don't know if I made sense there, but it was nice to see where he came from. I agree with Sirius' situation too, I think the change will have truly started when he gets sorted into Gryffindor. I think there probably was hints of things that made him different from his family, but I see them ignoring it as much as they could. Really, this was a great introduction!
This was written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

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Review #22, by Owlpost68Making the Reserves: Making First String

6th March 2016:
This chapter, oh my gosh I love it. The only 2 things I really picked out were: "giving use" should be 'us' and "But that’s to say..." 'not to say' when they were talking about cute boys. I was sort of thinking that the cloud surfing could have been something she had learned from Harry. Remember in the first movie that's how they had him catch the snitch? It would also make it a little more personal and involve her family again. I like what you did with her waking up the next morning and Reid being a complete gentleman. I know the story is kinda setting up her and Cedric, but I like the idea of her and Reid as well. You really described her love for flying in the cloud surfing bit too, it was beautifully written. I really hope I get to write some flying scenes in my story too. I love the wind anyway and want to write that :)
I almost forgot to mention the coach named Heather! She actually sounds a lot like me so I'm really happy about that since it's my name too lol. Great job!
Written for the Review-a-thon.

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Review #23, by Owlpost68Making the Reserves: Making it to the Academy

6th March 2016:
Wow, it was really fun to read your Author's note and see how many people are involved with this story! Your ideas are what make it come to life though, so it's a really good! I love the idea that there's a finishing school for quidditch players, I think it makes tons of sense! I have to say I really felt that emotional pull when I read that Cedric must be Wood's son, such a good idea. There were a few times where I felt you used a word too many times in the same paragraph. For example, in the beginning you said her old coach yelled at the sky saying something, and then repeated she yelled at the sky outside the quotation marks. That and there was an awkwardly worded phrase: "smoothened out" I think is not technically a word and would be fine as 'smoothed' without the "out" part.
I also really loved the description of her family connections, who she was close to and still thinking of them when she got there. Too often I read about Percy's family and they're all described as kind of aloof. I don't agree with that either, after what happened to Percy I think he'd have a better grasp on family values and you really brought it to life here.
Great job, on to the next chapter

This was written for the Review-a-thon
-Heather

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Review #24, by Owlpost6819 Years: Year 7: Old Acquaintance

5th March 2016:
Hi, I'm writing this for the Review-a-thon... and 'cause I would have anyway lol.
I know you feel like nothing happens in it, but don't worry too much, it's really important to have the chapters that describe "normal" life. Especially that everything is far from perfect, but that at least the love is and that's what gets us through each day. There were a few mistakes I caught, but nothing huge:
"she could head the sound of water boiling"--Hear.

"With a shriek, she span around"-- spun.

Again, nothing huge, but enough that I found them :P I know about being too busy to update a story, I've done it for years and wonder if people still care, but when I posted a new one I've had 70 reads on it, so it's definitely encouraging. Plus, this is such an established story I don't think people will STOP reading just 'cause you were busy :P It's so good, you really paint the picture and weaved the Potter's scenes so well with the Weasley's. I actually loved the moment between Ron and Hermione, it was so bittersweet and lovely.
Great job!
-Heather

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Review #25, by Owlpost68Chasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Ginny’s Big Surprise…And Secret Weapon

5th March 2016:
Hi Kevin! Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while, but you know I've been busy.

I thought this would be a good time to review for the Review-a-thon.

This was a really fun chapter to read about the brother vs sister match, it was a great idea to have it be her very first match. I think it was about right that Molly fainted and that harry helped her as much as he could. His comment about sleeping with the enemy was really funny! The one thing I wish you'd do a little more often is some embellishment. There are very rarely any metaphors or similes and though it's important to be straight forward and realistic in their thoughts and characters, it doesn't help when you're also trying to stimulate our imaginations. I'd love to see what you can do with that since all your ideas for this story are so fun.

Overall, great chapter, I can't wait to read about the dance/ball. I'm glad Hermione and Ginny had a fun day out, but I would have liked to see their interactions more. I know it's hard as a guy to know what fun and silliness happens when girls go out, but it would be fun to see you try :)

I'll read more soon!
-Heather

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review, Heather. I DO know how busy you've been, so I truly appreciate it!

I'll try to work on the embellishments/metaphors/similes.

As for the "girly" parts...maybe the next chapter will sate your request for more embellishment and "silly girl interaction" all at the same time. How's that for a teaser? LOL!

Thanks again for the review!!!



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