This is great! I love it. The ending was so unexpected - but that, of course is a good thing. Well done on this, you should be proud (:
I love the Doctor Who quote, by the way. It was a nice touch.
Allie x. Report Review
Ooh, this is such an interesting start - with such an unusual and creative plot. I don't think that I have ever seen a story which shows the life that Harry - as Ron and Hermione and Ginny, of course - could have had if it were not for Voldemort. My hat goes off to you for your creativity, haha. I always like stories that are different and the idea of dear Harry growing up with his parents makes my heart melt. It really does, haha :) I'm going to stop now - so I can go on to read the next chapter! Haha. I just wanted you to know that you have started it off really well and that it's written well, which a touch of dry humour to it which I mostly noticed in the final line. I like it. And as for any grammatical mistakes - I didn't notice any at all, so well done for that! Haha.
Allie x.Author's Response: Wow, thank you. I've seen a few that had Harry growing up with his parents, but they have all been vastly different. I'm glad you like it, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. It does become more intense overtime, and I think I changed the writing style of it a little. Thanks for reading, and thank you for this wonderful review!
~ginny_malfoy22 Report Review
The thought of Cedric/Hermione has never actually occurred to me before, (which is odd considering I'm usually always up there with the so-called 'bizarre' pairings). At least it hasn't in a sense that it could have ever happened (without it being some sort of wishy-washy au story). But this is a surprisingly good story, which has a realistic backbone and a pair of characters which you have both captured realistically, whilst adding your own touch. It's not often people can do that. I thought thought I would leave a quick review, as I actually have to go to out in about five minutes, to say that I really enjoyed this and that you should be happy with this. It's, from what I can see, without mistakes/errors and is wonderfully written. The scene is believable and the final lines are both touching, and slightly chilling if one considers the fate which Cedric has only weeks after said event.
Poor Cedric, I remember crying when I first read the Goblet of Fire :(
Anyway, ten out of ten, definitely.
Allie x.Author's Response: Thanks! the pairing had honestly never occurred to me either, it just popped into my head and i just put it on paper! I'm also glad you thought the characters were realistic, because that was the one thing I was unsure of :) Thanks very much for the review! x Report Review
Ooh, what a wonderful idea. Linking the love which James and Snape bear towards Lily to the song, Heaven's Light/Hellfire (which is from the Hunchback of Notre dame, right?). It's so clever. It fits the characters, and their relationships so well.
I have never read a story in which it deals with both James and Snape, and is not some washed up love triangle. This actually explores the feelings that they have, without making it a sort of drama in which Lily is some flaky, femme fatal who knowingly plays with their hearts whilst they continually fawn over her. This makes it so much more real, so much more deeper than that. This has a depth that is not easily found. And that you, and I quote, are 'on the fence' is absolutely ridiculous. This is unique, wonderfully written and in my eyes, completely brilliant.
I adore the way that you have written James and Lily into it; her showing a different side of herself and him letting down his guard so in turn, he too reveals a side of him she might not otherwise see. A more vulnerable side, one that is past his usual facade of arrogance and mischief. And the part in which he saw his reflection, and thought it to be a ridiculous joke by her, made me smile. Of course the ending made my poor little shipper heart explode. His description of how her touch affected him, and the sweetness in which she said good night. I am such a sucker for good Lily/James moments.
I've literally just finished the second chapter, and oh my god, it is brilliant. You have written Snape just as well as you have written James, which is rare. It really is. You capture the mind of Snape's longing and add an eerily touch to his hopeless desires. The paragraph, 'It was a traditional fairytale that she wanted, not the Greek tragedy he offered. Even so, she was still his siren, her song echoing within the darkest corners of his mind, lapping his spirit in a fatal lethargy. He would have heeded her call, if only she allowed him to.' is just pure brilliance. I know that I repeat that word a lot (brilliant, brilliance...) - but that doesn't make it any less true. I reckon it makes it even more so, haha.
I'd best stop now. I always go overboard on my reviews, which always casts the impression that I am complete mad and ramble, or am lying, or taking the piss. It's ridiculous because, perhaps besides the first one, it's not true. I know I ramble, but I ramble the truth and I like people to know that what they've written is good, even if it is long-winded and, like I said, a pointless ramble-fest. Just - don't be doubtful about this. It's excellently written, a unique idea and from what I can see - completely without mistakes/grammatical errors.
Allie x.Author's Response: Oh wow, my immense apologies for not responding earlier to this. I was just so overwhelmed by such an awesome review! Don't worry, rambling reviews are the best kind ;) (to me anyway.) Yup, the songs are from the Hunchback of Notre Dam, one of my favourite movies. When I heard it a year or so back, I knew I had to write James/Lily/Snape based on the song, it's like it was written for them hehe.
I definitely wanted to explore the deeper dynamics with the overlapping relationships, there's alot of material to work with. The best friend who's in love with you turned enemy, the enemy who turns into your boyfriend and eventual husband. JKR has got some wicked sense of drama hehe.
James and Lily constantly bickering then BAM! falling in love, while dramatic, struck me as very tiresome and tedious. I wanted to try a softer, more subtle approach to the relationship. Their one-shot was meant to capture a seemingly quiet moment but one filled with little threads that will eventually form into love. Hehe, thanks for the ego boost :p. I was on the fence because I was aiming for Heaven's Light's writing style to be similar to Hellfire, a poetic narrative or monologue or something rather than what it eventually turned into, a regular-styled story. It has grown on me over time and it does have the right amount of fluff, humour, romance and angst I was hoping to achieve. But I am beyond relieved and happy you enjoyed it so much. Hahaha! The mirror revelation was one of my favourite parts to write. It was so vivid in my mind, I almost half-hope/wish it were canon. You'd have to have a heart of stone not to love James&Lily moments, hehe.
Really? That's so kind of you to say. They are such polar opposites, James and Snape, and yet they still somehow managed to fall for the same girl. Thank you so much for saying I've written both of them well. I actually really loved writing Snape's part, suprisingly enough, though I didn't managed to go as dark as I would have liked to. I wanted to go all-out dark lustful villian mode and it somehow came out slightly sympathetic. Aaah, it's like you're using Legilimency on me or something. That's my absolute favourite part of Snape's story.
Nah, I love this review to bits! Once again, I apologize for my lateness and for not doing this brilliant (:P) review justice. Thank you so much for your praise, it means so much to me!
~Misty Report Review
Harry/Hermione will always be, regardless of what the books supposedly dictate, my one true pair. Hands down. There's no competition.
Ahh, where to begin with this? Well, first off. I really love that you didn't have them get together whilst they were at school, that you stayed true to the books in the sense that Hermione married Ron, and Harry married Ginny - and even that Luna had sons called Lorcan and Lysander. I liked that you included that too. It's not often that people do that, making them stick to what the books said (in a sense), and that you did is what makes this so much better. More realistic in a way, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
Thinking back, I actually think that I have read this before, but for some reason never left a review - which I'm so sorry about. I always try to leave reviews for fics that I love. Which is how I feel about this, obviously. Maybe I was being annoyingly lazy that day, or something.
I don't have much more left to say other than I think that the last paragraph is beautiful, and puts it all together so well. 'But, in the end, the most important thing that Harry said was the one thing he didn't need to say, because Hermione already knew.' I love that. I love that Hermione already knew how he felt because that's what Hermione does, isn't it? Haha. Hermione knows everything about everyone, that's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. I didn't expect a Mean Girls line to appear in this, but hey, what's life without surprises? Oh my god, I am so lame it hurts. Please don't think I am some sort of hatter. I am actually quite normal from time to time ;)
Right well, I need to stop or - well, I'll say too much. Not that I haven't already. I just thought you'd like to know, not that you probably don't already, that this is absolutely wonderful and you have captured the characters so well. I love that you included actual scenes from the books - like when she touches his hair outside of the tent, I remember reading that and wishing he had had the same thoughts along the lines of what you wrote.
I love the title by the way.
Allie x.Author's Response: Aww, you are so kind! I'm so happy that you enjoyed this story! I also love that Mean Girls quote, by the way. :)
Thank you for reading, and for reviewing, too! Report Review
'I know it's not much but I hope it's not all too awful!'
Are you having a laugh? You must be! This is absolutely amazing, you should be so proud of yourself - and don't - I repeat don't - be modest, or quite frankly, absurd! Really. This is brilliant - and it's actually incredibly unique as a whole. The way that it is written, and the persona is inimitable and the tone of this entire fanfic is just exquisite. It's different, and that of course, is in the best sense possible. Different is good.
The whole Romeo and Juliet idea sounds washed up, something that's been repeated one hundred times over, but it hasn't. I don't think that it has been anyway, not in Harry Potter fanfiction - at least, it hasn't to my knowledge and awareness. I think it's a refreshing idea, and you write it so that it is different, in it's own way, whilst also showing a resemblance to the play. Which is something that most people cannot do without making a total mess of the whole thing, and just - well, not doing it well.
The entire introduction, of Scorpius's entrance to the party, and his meeting Rose is beautiful. The way that it is written is just lovely (for the lack of a better word), I was captivated almost right away. I adore the reflection between the two Scorpius's and the line 'Every day he comes to life, ready to impress. His thoughts are my thoughts, his ideas are my ideas, but his actions are not mine. This veneer has become a cruel creature of habit.' There is something so delightfully poetic about it.
As for any mistakes that I picked up, well, there is only one that I noticed and it's just a simple typo. Nothing serious, nothing to be concerned about (if you're the type of person who is concerned by such matters). About half way through, I believe it is, it says 'Ravenvlaw', instead of 'Ravenclaw'. But that doesn't matter, it's a honest mistake.
And... I have talked too much. Rambled. That's a better word for it. I just can't help it. I like to ramble when I actually find something worth rambling about. It's an awful habit. I just - well, I thought that you'd like to know that this is certainly not 'okay' - that's it's wonderful. Like I said before, I think you should be really proud of this, and shouldn't dismiss it so easily. Congratulations on it being your first next-gen fic, you should definitely do more!
Allie x.Author's Response: Oh my! This is just the loveliest review ever!
Firstly, thanks for picking up that typo! I'll fix it soon :)
I really didn't know if it would be good - see I was worried it might be confusing, or almost too verbose. I personally like excessively long, poetic sentences like you mentioned, so I'm glad you did too!
I am so glad you think I maintained a resemblance to the play! I was worried that cutting out the beginning section might throw people!
You haven't rambled at all! This was the nicest review :) It made my day and I even posted it in the 'Reviews That Made Your Day' thread over at the forums :D
Thank you again, so very much for the review!!!
xx Tilly Report Review
N'aw, it is fluffy. You're certainly right about that. But fluffiness is always a good thing as long as it's well written - which this is. And I am glad that you decided to finish. I like this, I think it's adorably sweet, but still remains realistic of Hermione and Ron's personalities and their, well, 'stubbornness' in regard to admitting their feelings for each other.
I both like, and dislike, that Harry didn't get the happy ending with Ginny. I like that it's realistic, that the war affected him and left him in shambles. As it would considering all that he's gone through. I dislike it of course, because I love dear little Harry and just want him to be happy. But that's not always possible, not all of the time anyway.
I loved it when he gave advice to Hermione, I thought it was amusingly ironic considering how it was always her giving him advice in the past with girls (and anything else under the sun, really), and it made me smile when she started shouting. A very Hermione Granger reaction and thing to do, I reckon.
I'll stop now, I know that I am rambling. I always do in reviews, and it's pretty embarrassing. I just wanted to leave a review to say that this is great, that it made me smile and that it is definitely a good thing that you decided to finish this!
Allie x.Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you much for stopping by, it always makes my day when someone leaves a review like this! Yes, staying in character is why I don't write Draco/Hermione fics (sorry if you're a fan!) because I just can't seem to picture any situation (save I suppose (that's said with a grimace, in case you were wondering) the death of Harry/Ron) that would work for her to fall in love with Draco when the boy she's loved for six years and never admitted to it was still around! Doesn't make sense to me but anyway, not the point...
Yes, I know, it's sad, but I never really thought Harry and Ginny would be together like RIGHT after the Battle. I think Harry would have been really messed up, with his hero complex and all, and Ginny, well, Ginny needs to do a little bit of finding of herself first before they can be together. :) But I always see them together, eventually, so I hope that eases your sadness at this! Harry/Ginny are still one of my favorite pairings, hands down, so no worries! :D
Yeah, I figured everyone needs advice given to them by someone they trust eventually. Nobody can ever figure out everything by themselves and with Ginny gone, I didn't think there was anyone else Hermione would have been close enough to to recieve this type of advice well, so Harry it was! xD
Thank you so so much for stopping by and making my day! I'm really glad you liked it.
~Becca Report Review
I've started stalking you, reading all your stories, and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm a little embarrassed about admitting it, yeah, haha, but not at all about actually doing it. Especially not after reading this - and even more so considering I wasn't going to. I was going to go do something else, something 'productive' with my day off from school - which I do not regret not doing, not after reading this.
I have never actually read a Regulus oneshot/story - well no, actually, that's a lie. I have, but it was so awful that I didn't finish it and don't reckon it counts. He was dating Lily Evans secretly and it was just - awful. But I won't go into it, I didn't decide to leave a review to ramble on about some story I read months ago and laughed about for about a week non-stop. Haha. I'll rephrase it - I have never read a decent Regulus Black story, one which explores his mind and his reasoning behind what he did in regard to becoming a Death Eater/removing the locket.
Which is what you have done perfectly. I mean it when I say that this is amazing, and that his character has so much depth it's completely fascinating. I adore the way that it is in sections, as though it is his ponderings, and the line 'He prayed and he prayed and he prayed that she would care.' just killed me. Poor Regulus, I felt so sorry for him, he's just crying out for someone to give him a hug. Haha.
And the last two sections - sections sounds better than 'bits', I suppose - were just pure brilliance. So haunting, but touching too.
You should be really proud of this, love. It is amazing. It is wonderfully written and you have captured Regulus excellently. It is, of course, favourited and an absolute ten out of ten.
Allie x.Author's Response: Oh don't worry, oddly enough I don't mind xP Is it weird to say I'm rather excited to have a stalker? Probably.
Pfff productive days are overrated. I'm meant to be revising for some rather important exams, but I spend most of my time on here. Oh well.
Aww I'm very proud to have written your first decent Regulus story! I feel he's quite an unexplored character - there are a fair few stories about him, but shipping him with an OC in an angst-ridden romance isn't quite the same thing. I always feel this is a shame because he has so much potential - we don't know much about him from canon, but what we do know about him is so interesting and contradictory.
Hahaha aww he really does just need a hug, that solves all of life's problems! Feel free to give him one ;)
Thanks so much, Allie! Your reviews are just gorgeous, and nice and ego-boosting :P Report Review
You're right, this did break my heart. Especially after reading Augusta's reaction, that was like adding salt to a wound - or fuel to a fire. Or - well, I am sure that you get the message.
I am close to tears, I swear, as I am writing this. I thought I would leave a review to tell you that, but not just that of course. That would be rather strange, me blathering on about nonsense - though, saying that, I think that that is all that I ever do sometimes. Haha.
I think that this is beautifully written, that you actually get Alice's thoughts on the attack and how she felt, not just details of what happened to them. To know what she was thinking as such horrors were inflicted upon her and her husband, and that she thought of Neville, as her sort of last thought, made me want to cry.
I love the title, by the way. It's chilling, and haunting, which makes it so perfectly fitting for this.
Well, anyway, I think I have rambled enough. Haha. I just hope that you know that this is excellent, and I am definitely going to go and read whatever else you have written!
Allie x.Author's Response: Thanks so much :) You're review made my day! While writing it, I really tried to make it emotional so I'm glad it was, though I'm sorry I almost made you cry :(.
Thank you so very much for reading this and reviewing and letting me know that you liked it :) I don't mind your rambling so no worries haha. Report Review
How does this have so little reviews? I'm sorry, that's awfully blunt of me - but it just doesn't make any sense considering how well that this is written and what a breath of fresh air it is.
Already, with just two chapters, I am really drawn into this - into Henri's world - and I really cannot wait for the next chapter, and all the rest that are - hopefully - to come.
I don't think I have ever read or even seen anything to do with Fleur's parents, and I really think that it is unique, not just because of that, but of the way that he is an artist and she his muse. Or at least, his 'art', as you said.
The final line of this chapter is perfect, I love it. 'Is humanity itself an imperfection? Can humanity, in all its flawed wonder, ever produce something truly and utterly perfect?' It finishes it so well, and it leaves the reader with a sort of, in my mind Hamlet-like 'to be or not to be' question to ponder over.
I'll stop now - I have a tendency to ramble, which I have been told is incredibly annoying. I just thought I'd leave a review to let you know that I really like how this started and interested to see where this is going.
Allie x.Author's Response: Haha, that's fine :P I'm very flattered you think it deserves more! Thanks so much!
Yep, there are definitely more to come. Often with a story I'll just post the first chapter with only a plan of the rest of them written (because I'm disorganised that way) but I've learnt from my mistakes and with this I actually have the first 4/5 chapters written already ;)
I'm not sure I have either... I was really drawn to the idea because if Fleur's a quarter veela then that makes her mum half veela - opportunity for tons of drama, hello! The whole arty side of it comes from my current obsession with The Picture of Dorian Gray, and I'm glad you like it because I thought it was quite an interesting angle to go for :)
Oh, well if that counts as rambling I was rather enjoying it xP Thanks so much for this lovely review, it's really great and very encouraging to know that someone is enjoying the story! Report Review
Oh my, this made me cry. I usually reprimand myself off for getting emotional when I'm reading something or watching something, but not this.
It's Harry's death, for goodness sake, I am allowed to be upset - and especially when it is written so eloquently.
I especially love the tone of it, it's poignant, and beautiful. And the way that you incorporated quotes from the books into it, which usually don't work, but in this they really do.
The only mistakes that I noticed is that you put 'Hugh' - when I think that you are mostly likely talking about Hugo? - and also you put 'Grimauld Place' instead of the correct spelling, which is 'Grimmauld Place'.
I know they're only minor errors, but I know that I always like to know, so I thought you deserved the right to know. If not, feel free to just call me a grammar freak like everyone else ;)
Anyway, I'll stop now, I know I can be awfully annoying in my reviews and go on, and on, and on about nothing of consequence.
Just know that, basically, this is wonderful, and I loved it :)
Allie x.Author's Response: I didn't even notice that. lol. My computer does that sometimes, thanks for pointing that out. I know this will sound weird but I've always wanted to make someone cry with my stories. Not in a mean way though. I always cry when Harry dies, so I know the feeling. But I'm glad you liked it! Your review made my day. :) Report Review
Oh this, this is what I have been looking for. Really, I mean it. I've been desperate for a good take on Ron, prior returning to Harry and Hermione, and by chance, I found this! And when I was just lazily going through the most recent stories, too.
And it is, believe me, absolute perfection.
What I love most is the persona of this, it encapsulates Ron so well, so perfectly, that I can't see anything wrong with it at all. Not many people can get that real feel of Ron's character, but you do, believe me.
'...like a phoenix from the flames in his chest, filling him with golden hope.' That line is wonderful, I just thought I would let you know.
Well, anyway, I'd best stop my rambling. I just wanted to leave a short review saying that I absolutely adore this, and that it is excellently written and all that jazz ;)
Allie x.Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you so much for such a glowing review! :)
It's the first time I've ever written Ron so it really means a lot that you felt I captured him well. Maybe I should write him more often haha!
Thank you again! Report Review
Lucius/Narcissa are my guilty pleasure, I love them so much.
I like clementines too. Funny, I'd never thought my favourite fruit would coincide with one of my favourite couples. But hey, it's a welcomed surprise. Haha.
I absolutely adore every single thing about this, I really do. I love the characters, the way it has been written and all of the lovely little lines that make me feel warm inside.
'He'd always loved clementines - so small, so sweet, and so satisfying in their delicate taste.' That has to be my favourite, I must say. I like its ironic touch.
I really cannot believe, however, that this only has two reviews so far. It makes me want to spam the hell out of it until there's about 149084. But I doubt that's allowed, the nasty TOS and all ;)
But anyway, I'd best stop. I have a tendency to ramble, and that never does anyone any good, haha.
So yes, this is definitely favourited and rated ten out of ten :)
Allie x. Report Review
I love so much the way that this has been written. It's different - which of course, I mean in a very good way - and quite hauntingly so. And on top of that it is all put together so well, which is refreshing to see :)
I saw Red Riding Hood the other day, and loved it. I've been itching to read something like this since I saw the film, and I mean it when I say it's absolutely perfect.
I should leave a so much longer review, filled with more of the deserved praise, but I have to rush off.
Needless to say, I love this and it's definitely favourited :)
Allie x.Author's Response: Thank you! Oooh I really want to go see red riding hood :D I hope it was good. I'm so glad you enjoyed this, thanks for taking the time to leave a review :) xx Report Review
I love this so, so much. I cannot actually believe I haven't left a review before now...
But hey, I am now - so I'd best get on with it :)
Basically, I am in love with James. He's such a wonderful character, and so entertaining to read in every single chapter. And I adore Rose, too! She's absolutely how I would picture her being.
I felt so awful for him when his things had been burned, and then so excited when he and Ella kissed. You've definitely pulled me into this story, haha, I am very much attached.
Anyway, I'd best stop now. I am aware that I am rambling.
Allie x.Author's Response: As long as you're reading and enjoying, I'm happy ^_^
I'm so glad you like James as a character. I think entertaining is a good word for him - one I'd rather use than like or love, even though I absolutely do love him to pieces myself! Rose too, I'm quite proud of given that I'm not her biggest fan, ordinarily.
I'm so happy to hear I've pulled you in and to hear your thoughts on everything!
Thank you for the review ^_^
xx Report Review
Oh my goodness, this is positively wonderful, love! I have never - and I mean ever - read a decent fanfiction about Moody, and definitely not one about his family for that matter, and the background from which he comes from either. The way that you started the story, with the letter, is a great touch and, personally, it really drew me into the story. I absolutely love it. The final paragraph, and those last two lines are brilliant. This is great, believe me.
Ten out of ten, for sure.
Allie x.Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much for this! It's a strange story for me because it's not packed with odd metaphors and poetic stuff - it's a normal, simple kind of story - and I wasn't at all sure how people would react to it. You've really helped me stop twitching with nervousness. ^_^
Moody is one of my favourite characters - another of those characters in the Potterverse who have so much potential for fantastic stories - and I'm happy to have done him justice in this story. The letter was a last-minute crutch for starting things off, so it's great to hear that it worked to draw you in. :D
Thank you, again, for reading and reviewing this story! It means a lot to have heard from you. Report Review
Oh, I adore this.
I have always loved Fleur/Bill but no one seems to write about them, which is really frustrating.
I love Fleur's attitude towards the English in this, it's really how I always imagined her, and the banter between her and Bill.
I love Bill, and his smirking. Haha.
I'm just going to leave a quick review, so to say that I hope that this will be updating as soon as possible and that, again, I love this - a lot.
Definitely ten out of ten, love.
Allie x.Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you like the story so far, love :) It means the world to know that!
There are very few Bill/Fleur stories out there, that's true. And that's why I decided to write this! Paving the way where no one has gone before!
I'm happy you like the characters. I get all muddled up in the dialogue and description and whatnot, so it's good to hear at least something is coming across.
I'm in the midst of midterms at the moment, so time to write is scarce, but I have about half of the third chapter done. I'm hoping to update within a week or two :) I hope to hear what you think of the update! Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and favoriting!!! Report Review
Oh, this is just wonderful - heartbreakingly sad, but nonetheless, still wonderful.
I love this line, it's so well phrased; 'In a risky move, Harry kissed her lips softly, thinking that it might wake her up, but he wasn't lucky.' How very Prince Charming of him.
I'm a terrible reviewer, and this is actually my first review here, so I'll just be short :)
10/10, definitely, and favouriting. Of course.
Allie x.Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for the lovely review, I'm glad you liked it! It makes me feel so good! I was beginning to feel sad seeing all those reads and no comments!
What I like the most about your comment is the quote, I've never been quoted before, so it's really nice! x) Seriously. I feel honoured to be your first review!
Thanks again for passing by! Maybe you could read my soon to be up fiction, which will be a Dominique/OC!
-Nashira Report Review
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