Aww, poor Tonks! That must've been so rough for her to hear, and poor Remus, having to say it...
But I actually really like this scene. Well, I don't like it exactly, 'cause I half wish they'd stop being stupid about everything, but it's perfect for the characters, and very realistic. In fact, when I read the part where Sirius asked Remus if Tonks was his type, I knew before reading it what Remus' answer would be. Darn noble guy!
And it was also good to include because, like you said, it helped Tonks realize her feelings for Remus. Hopefully she won't be so upset by the rejection that she'll be with Dawlish...
Anyway, great chapter! I really look forward to when Remus and Tonks get their acts together ;)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I was worried about it because of that scene but I kind of knew that it would have probably happened like that. It was already in my head for a while but I just had trouble writing it because well like you I just want them to stop being stupid and get together.
I'm so glad you like it and thank you for the review! :D
I'll have the next chapter out as soon as I can. :) Report Review
Love this so far! I love how you write both Remus and Tonks, and how Tonks is relatively oblivious to her feelings but slowly coming to realize them. I really hope she doesn't do something stupid!! Unless it ends with her and Remus together, of course...maybe I'm just too anxious to see them together ;)
Anyway, really enjoying this so far! I hope you post a new chapter soon! I can't wait!Author's Response: Thank you! :D I'm glad you like it and I hope you continue reading. I will tell you that Tonks might do something stupid, but not to worry I'm almost positive that she will end up with Remus! ;)
But I'm probably just as anxious to get them together as you are. Report Review
I loved this! Well, I didn't love that it had to end so sadly, but I did love the story line! And the ending is good, and appropriate, I just wish Remus wasn't such an idiot ;)
But really! I honestly quite enjoyed it, I love how stubborn both Tonks and Remus are. You wrote them both wonderfully, in my opinion! And their dialogue is really, really strong, I thought.
Anyway, great job! Love it, like I said!Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Never written a Tonks/Remus fic and I thnk I quite enjoy it now :) Report Review
Hooray! I was so excited when I noticed you'd updated!!
I love James' POV, it's so funny to get inside his head! I think you wrote him very well; he's sort of immature at some points, as he should be (he is a teenage boy, after all), but it's also clear that he understands the depth of his feelings for Lily and what's happened between them, which is really good! You wrote a great balance there, and he's very believable!
I also love how you wrote Remus in the beginning, as understanding James, because I think he's very easily the most mature Marauder! The contrast between him and Sirius was great; they both care for James but have different ways of showing it! And I loved the details about what things've been like for both James and Lily after the fight...it was just great!
In case you couldn't tell, I just adored the chapter on whole! I hope you update soon and we can hear about James' reaction to the things Lily tells him last chapter! Can't wait for more! :)Author's Response: Thanks, love. :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)
I'm working on the next chapter. Will take a while to put up, though. :( But yes, it's fun writing from James's POV. :D
I have a feeling you have deep crush on Remus. ;) It reflects in your awesome stories too! :D
It's okay though, to crush on fictional characters. ;) I have a crush on James Jr.
And Albus Severus. :P
Which was why I wrote my other fic. :P :D
Oh and Thank you so much for reviewing! :) You made my day! :D Report Review
Oh! Great start! I'm so excited for this, I love when Tonks is the same age as the Marauders! I love how you've written Emmeline, and I love how you've written Tonks, too! I just love it! I really hope you update soon, I can't wait to see what'll happen between Remus and Tonks :) Report Review
Oh man! That awkward moment when you ask for a girl's number and she doesn't have one because she's a witch! Poor Henry! Haha! And I LOVE Cassie and Roxy in these! So adorable! And how they give Rose and Henry a reason to socialize, of course, is adorable ;) This is shaping up to be such a cute story! I really hope Rose figures her stuff out with regards to her boyfriend and Henry...and then there's Scorpius...oh man! Anyway, great job! Looking forward to more!Author's Response: I liked writing this awkward little moment, so I am glad that you liked it too! I think that Cassie and Roxy are my favorite characters to write, especially Roxy because of her overall craziness. I know, she has so much to figure out! I am glad that you like it, and thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me! Report Review
Great first chapter! I really like the alternating view points and first person narrative; really lets you get into characters' heads! I also absolutely ADORE the whole title thing! I love the running bird theme, from the story title to the chapter titles to the quotes for each chapter! It's so creative and adorable! I can't wait to read the next chapters :)Author's Response: I am really glad that you like the first chapter! I was worried that it was a little dry, so thanks a lot! The idea for the bird theme was so random, so I am glad you like it. I am so glad you like it, it was such a spontaneous idea! Thanks again! I hope you keep reading! Report Review
Oh, I just loved this! It was so beautifully written and it flowed/read incredibly well!
I loved the theme of the rain throughout, and I loved the last line--a bit abrupt but perfect for a one-shot. I loved how your Tonks didn't give in to Remus too easily after he'd messed things up the first time and I loved how you explained Remus' inner turmoil. I also loved the idea of them getting together at Christmas and Tonks' misinterpretation of Remus' feelings on that night.
As I said I think you wrote both characters beautifully, especially Tonks--just the right mixture of anger and desperation. Your Remus was also spot-on--hesitant for all his noble reasons yet clearly in love with Tonks.
Basically, I loved the entire thing! Wonderful, wonderful job!Author's Response: Hiya :)
Thank you for such a wonderful review. I'm so glad you liked it. This was written for a story swap, and my recipient wanted something with a mix of fluff and angst. I probably veered closer to angst than fluff, though, lol.
I do know that the ending was rather abrupt but that was mainly down to the word limit restriction -- it had to be 1500 words or around that, so I couldn't really do much about that. And I tore my hair out with this story because I've never written the pairing before and I still am not completely happy with it -- but I'm also not really bothered to write another draft, hehe.
Once again, I'm so glad you liked it. This is my first time writing them as a pairing and I've never written Tonks at all, so I'm flattered you thought I got the characterisation right.
If you're interested, I'll be submitting a femmeslash two-shot (possibly three-shot) in the coming weeks, so if you like that kind of thing, do review :)
~Soraya~ Report Review
Wow! I loved this story! I don't normally like Draco much (especially since he's often written so unrealistically) but you gave him a lot of depth and made me actually able to empathize (if only a bit) with him. I definitely loved the way he was written four years after the fact--not out of character, yet repentant. I think you got the right mixture of regret and acceptance for his past as he reflects on his choices and everything.
I loved how you wrote Tonks! I enjoyed the switching between Tonks and Draco, and as I said I enjoyed Draco, but I was definitely more excited about Tonks! I especially thought the chapters on her feelings/thoughts during the first muggle attacks (Chapter 11?) were great. I did very much enjoy both her mission with the werewolves (perfect for her to see Remus' reality and for him to have yet another reason to fear for her safety) and your portrayal of her realization for her feelings for Remus (how she liked him without realizing it at first, which her patronus reflected--a clever detail).
Although I would've liked to have seen a bit more with Remus (it sucks to leave their relationship at the hard part), I definitely understand the way you portrayed their interactions and the ending. Their relationship is, in my opinion, super complex, and I think it's hard to imagine what kind of past they have prior to the hospital wing scene in HBP, since we're only given small clues. I think your version of them getting together (or rather taking the first steps on a painful road that ends with them together) is quite believable, even if I do like to delude myself into thinking they had some happy times during OOTP ;)
I loved the last scene, and I think in the whole thing, but especially the last chapter, Andromeda is written very well! My only question (which is quite possibly a dumb one) is what does Draco wish Andromeda'd told him? I understand that you may have not elaborated very intentionally, to make the reader think (you've succeeded there), and I guess I could see it being a number of things, but I wondered if you had something in mind or wanted to leave it up in the air.
Well, that's my very long winded way of letting you know that I absolutely enjoyed this fic! I definitely read most of it in one go (1-11, that is, and then this just now) and loved each chapter, but since it's completed I thought one long review at the end would be more appropriate than leaving a bunch of little ones. Thank you so much for sharing this story--it's absolutely brilliant!Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I'm really glad you enjoyed the story.
To answer your question about what Draco wished Andromeda had told him, I intentionally made the question ambiguous, though perhaps I was a bit too ambiguous. In my mind at least, Draco is asking Andromeda why she didn't tell him that he was staying with the Tonkses for his own protection, particularly since that measure was necessary because Lucius decided to protect himself by staying in Azkaban rather than protecting Draco by breaking out. He's probably spent some time wondering what he might have done if he had gotten that information from a kind source, like Andromeda, rather than Tonks using it as a weapon against him.
In response to what you said about wanting to see more of Remus, I actually did consider adding chapters from his perspective as well, but there's a long winded reason why I eventually decided against that. Continuing the format through HBP wasn't something that really interested me since Tonks and Lupin don't really make any progress in their relationship until the end of that year, and we know pretty well what Draco was up to. Anyway, maybe you'll find it interesting to know that while I was writing this I had it in my head that Lupin did have feelings for Tonks, and did more or less since they met, but he never acted on it and thought it was innocent enough until Tonks started to reciprocate.
Thanks again for the review. Report Review
Oh, that was so cute! I was sort of skeptical when I read the summary (let's face it, I can't really see Remus being rude/crude) but that was adorable and very believable!
Everyone seemed very in character, but I especially love how you wrote Lily. The line when James asks Alexis if she's been learning from Lily was hilarious!
I really enjoyed this--great job! Thanks for posting it! Report Review
I don't know how I missed this fic earlier but I'm so glad I read this! I sort of wish HPFF would make it possible to post shorter than 500 word pieces so each of these could be on their own, but it's not really a problem.
Anyway, that's not the important thing! The important thing is that these are amazing, albeit devastating/heartbreaking. I feel like each one is a perfected little piece; they're short but just the right length to convey a moment.
And what well constructed moments they are! Each one feels very believable--real and painful yet beautiful in their complexities. I have no clue which my favorite is; they're all so great!
You've written both Remus and Tonks spot on. Both of them are so multi-dimensional and you've captured that brilliantly! My heart breaks for Tonks a little more each time and it's hard not to want to reach through the screen and throttle Remus for being such an idiot.
All of these snippets are the kind that'll stay in your head for days--they're captivating. I love that it's not a long fic but rather a series of moments that add up to an experience--I've tried writing like this and it can be difficult but very effective!
Are these in chronological order? If so, I hope we get to see Remus realize what a fool he is in the end! After such an angsty fic I'd love a little fluff :)
All in all, great work! I adore this and I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a long and detailed review! I'm so glad you like the drabbles and flattered you think I write Remus and Tonks well. They're my favorite HP couple and I strive to keep them in character, which is not that easy since their characters are not as detailed in the books. But they are such real characters to me that sometimes I almost feel I know them in person.
I know what you mean - I love Remus with all my heart, but still want to whack him over the head with something. He can really be impossible sometimes.
I'm actually quite new with writing drabbles and it really is a lot harder than it looks. That's why these are not really drabbles per se, rather really short short stories, because I don't seem able to write anything shorter than 500 words :)
And, to answer your question, yes - they are meant to be in chronological order. A few of the middle ones deviate from that order a bit, but the last two are post-HBP. Although, I can't really promise there will be much fluff...
Again, thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
BR Report Review
Oh, this was so cute! I love how excited Tonks was to learn to knit, and how inept she was at it, but even more I loved that Remus supported her through it and encouraged her. That's so like him! They were both very in character. You did a really good job writing this. . .I love Remus/Tonks & it's so nice to read a happy story about them, since the stories about them are so often sad! Great job!Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to leave such wonderful review! I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! Report Review
I know this was published forever ago but I wanted to review to say it's amazing!! I really, really love this! I don't usually like Charlie/Tonks but I loved it!!
You portrayed Charlie's emotions really, really well; he's very believable and as a character we don't see much in the books I love your interpretation of him! You got Tonks perfect, too, because you can tell she cares about him and is just as awkward about the whole thing as he is. . .and I love when Remus comes! Your description of his and Tonks' interaction makes their relationship super believable!!
I also love the repeated 3 reasons (well, 4, at the end). It ties the whole thing together very nicely and although it's slightly devastating (poor Charlie!) it works very well for the piece. I also like the title (Little Women reference) assuming you're comparing Charlie to Laurie and Tonks to Jo.
Anyway, I really liked this and thought I'd let you know! Great job!!Author's Response: I always felt like Charlie had so much to offer as a character - like, genuinely, DRAGONS and ROMANIA and COOLNESS - but was often overshadowed by, you know, everything else.
I'm glad you thought Remus/Tonks was believable because I'm not entirely taken with them as a pairing. Which, I know, is practically HP sacrilege but what can you do?
Yes, yes, Charlie is poor Laurie...forever friendzoned and losing the girl to the old guy. (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Remus to bits.)
Thanks so much for the review, I'm pleased you like this! Report Review
This is really well written! A lot of times I read Tonks' reaction to Sirius' death and she's upset but it's not believable; this is very believable. You captured the whole numb/shock/indifference sentiment really well. It's hard to imagine what Tonks is going through but I think you did a really good job of it; you also showed Remus' reaction really well.
I can't wait to read more! This was a great first chapter and you introduced everything really well and I can't wait to see where this goes! Keep writing! Report Review
I really like this so far! I'm excited to follow their story. . .I love Remus/Tonks!
I really like how Dumbledore pairs them together as partners. . .I always imagined him as knowing what's going on all the time, just like you wrote! I also love Sirius accusing Remus of flirting with Tonks, because even though he probably isn't at this point, it's awesome foreshadowing!
I love Tonks' reaction to Remus being a werewolf! I can see her reacting in a myriad ways but this is one of my favorites of her reaction. . .and the way he says everything is pretty spot on; I think he's very in character in that moment!
All in all I really like this! Keep writing!Author's Response: Thank you so much! They're my favourite characters and I'm glad that you think I'm doing their story well, I just wish we knew everything for sure! I always imagined Dumbledore knowing everything too because he was so much like that so I'm glad you see it that way too :)
It means a lot to me that you think it's good! I hope I can keep it up!
Thanks again! :) Report Review
Another great chapter! You once again captured James/Sirius/Peter/Remus/Lily really, really well!
In this chapter I love the depth added to both Sirius and Remus! Sirius is written very well, and his rudeness is believable (even to a pretty girl!) because of his family and all, so that was very well done! Remus is especially good. . . I love 'Prefect Remus'! You captured his relationship with his friends well, because although he gives them a lot of slack I don't think he's completely spineless and you showed that!
And Pippa's voice is even more pronounced in this chapter, which I love! She's funny and sarcastic, yet deeper than she might come off as, and you really showed that this chapter!
I loved it! Keep writing!Author's Response: I'm really trying to distance myself from the typical Remus/Sirius personalities and give them more character traits, round 'em out a bit. So look forward to further development, and let me know what you do and don't like! I want you all to see them grow as I do and this feedback is so important to that!
I do love Pippa's witty side, too! And just wait to see how deep she's gonna go, haha. (;
Thank you for reading + reviewing again! Report Review
I really like this story so far!! I love the first scene on 9 3/4 when she runs into Remus. . .I think you captured him really well! He's younger/more mischievous than we see him in the books; he's just as I'd imagine him as a teenager, because he is more spirited but less arrogant than James/Sirius.
I was so glad when Pippa rejected Sirius. . .I love it when girls don't fall for his charm! But you wrote Sirius very well as well, especially when Pippa tells him her father is a death eater.
The new conflict in this chapter is interesting. . .how Pippa expected to be in Slytherin and is almost angry that she's not. You captured that emotional battle really well; she doesn't want to be her father but has a hard time separating herself from him.
Dumbledore is also written very well; his compassion is incredible and yet believable. You write him very well, too!
I can't wait to read more! Keep writing!Author's Response: Thank you for such positive feedback! I'm extremely happy that you're liking how I write the characters - it means so much. I hope you'll continue liking my interpretations. (:
That's exactly the place I want Pippa to be in, so I'm excited that you're all getting it! I didn't want her to come off as whiny or overemotional - she's just very confused by what having his blood could mean for her.
Dumbledore is the most difficult to write. Finding a balance between wisdom and compassion is harder than I had imagined, haha.
Thanks again for reading + reviewing! Report Review
I really like this story so far!! It's funny and cute and believable and everything!
The only thing I'd say is maybe add something in with Lily's friends (the girl ones) because right now she seems to be ditching them for James/Sirius/Remus. And even though that's super understandable (because James/Sirius/Remus are awesome) it's also a bit out of character because I think Lily would probably want to see her other friends, too! (or maybe not, who knows?)
But other than that I love this! I like the conflict between Lily/Severus because I don't think she'd have an easy time letting him go and yet she can't forgive him for what he did. . .you captured that perfectly!
I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: I'm very glad that you like it! And yes, I hadn't really thought of that much. I'm glad that you brought it up, thank you! I'll have to add more friendship interactions. :D
And of course, thanks for reading! Report Review
I really really like this story!!! I just read both chapters in one go, I couldn't stop reading! Now I'm anxiously awaiting more chapters, because I can't wait to see where this goes!
I really, really like Emry and Sam so far! You did a really good job giving them distinct and believable personalities, and they seem very authentic. I think you introduced Emry really well in the first few paragraphs; instead of a long, arduous blurb with every fact we could ever need to know about her you slipped little facts in here and there that painted a clear picture of her without the long description! You did that with Sam, too, and Sirius and Remus and James and Peter to some extent (though we know about them already). Anyway, that's a really good style in that you learn a lot about the characters without feeling like you are! So I really liked that!
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are just how I'd imagine them. James and Sirius' relationship and banter are spot on! They're very fun and endearing. The relationship in between them is portrayed very well, as is that in between Sam and Emry and Remus. The three of them are very believable together; I think it would be hard to imagine them getting along unless they were drawn together in the way that they were. Their foundation for friendship, their darkness, makes for a strong and loyal relationship. . .I really like how close they are and how much trust is there--they're the perfect friends, really!
I loved Lily's intro to the story. She's also how I'd imagine her, and her interaction with Emry was priceless! Like with the other characters, especially in this chapter, the dialogue flowed really well and was believable!
Your writing style is very interesting and effective! I love the switch between 'narrator'; while it's not in the first person you effectively give us different peoples' perspectives which makes a more believable and understandable story. I loved hearing from Lily and Dumbledore briefly; they were short but important additions to the plot!
Will we ever hear from Sam? I know we see her a lot, but she hasn't really gotten a chance to narrate yet. Of all the characters she's the most enigmatic thus far; we're aware of Remus' feelings for her (and it's inferred that she reciprocates them) but we never hear it from her. Also, it's not clear to me why she's a 'dark' person. It's very possible that I simply missed that one, so if so sorry! I know she comes from a 'famous' pureblood family, but other than that I didn't catch what her secret was. She just seems like a mystery so far, but maybe that's your intention.
The only thing I noticed was that you spell Moony "Mooney". I have no idea if that's an error or if it was intentional, but in the books it's "Moony". (In the movies it's Mooney, but that's a mistake!) Other than that I didn't catch any typos or anything.
Basically, I think I love this story!! (Even though it's only chapter two!) I'm really impressed at your writing and the depth of the plot and everything! (Can you tell? I don't usually leave such rambling reviews). If you made it through this whole long thing review then just know that it's awesome and I really, really hope you keep writing and update soon! Report Review
I really like this!! I think Lucina's an awesome character and you portrayed her really well. . .I love the introspective beginning to get an understanding of her before the dialogue and events begin to happen-the scene in the pool worked really well to establish her character!
I also like her step-mother. . .well I don't like her step mother but I like the way she's written, if that makes any sense. You did a good job creating a mean character, yet explaining why Lucina puts up with her yet wants to get away. In that way, you made Lucina's interest in going to Hogwarts really believable!
Good job! :) I look forward to reading more!Author's Response: Thank You so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it so Thank You ! :)
it's good to have such positive feedback (you made my day :) )
I've just posted another chapter so I'm just waiting on validation. I can't wait for you to read it :) Report Review
AH! I really like this but I'm a little bit wary because of the summary and I don't want anything bad to happen to Alex! :(
I suppose that me not wanting anything bad to happen to her mostly just means that you did a good job making me like her, when you get down to it. She's believable; you can tell she's had a hard time of things with her mum and all but she's still so sweet with Eve and that makes her deep. So you did a really good job showing that so soon!
So yeah! Good job! I really like this so far and I'm excited to read more when you post it!Author's Response: Thank you so much! You critics are the reason I write! I really tried to make Alex likeable even through her trials. I did my best not to make her a shallow, boring person. Dont worry about Alex! :)
-HedwigsGirlfriend Report Review
Yay!! You updated! I was so excited when I noticed!
Okay so once again I really, really liked this! I love Lily's inner dialogue...I mean if someone told me Lily went into the Forbidden Forest one night because she saw a stag I'd have a hard time imagining her doing so, but you made it really believable! I think from a psychological standpoint it makes so much sense that the story feels really real! And I love the comfort she finds in nature and the way you describe that!
As for my favorite line, I'd have to go with "...I'd feel horrible. Like being mean to James all over again." (When Lily's thinking of leaving the stag) because it's so ironic! I just read it thinking "if only she knew..." so yeah.
Please keep writing! I love this story! :)Author's Response: Ah. Your reviews always make me so happy. :D I'm really glad you liked it! :)
Well, Lily likes to mop. At least the character that's in my head. :P If she only knew it was James. :D
Watch out for the next chapter! Its a James POV! :) Thanks for reviewing! :D Report Review
This is really good! You once again captured the characters really, really well! I love the way you wrote Mad-Eye, I always pictured him with a sweet spot for Tonks. And I loved how long it was, but now I'm going to be waiting anxiously for the next chapter! So I'll be looking forward to it!Author's Response: thanks so much! mad-eye is so much fun to write, reminds me of the movie 'grumpy old men' lol! i have a snape/tonks fic wating for validation right now, then i'll be setting up chapt 2 of this one. thanks again! :) Report Review
This is so good! I really love the beginning descriptions of the characters, James in particular, and the description of their pasts. And I love how deep of a character James is...we all know that he had to grow up at some point before seventh year, but you showed it really well. (It's easy to see he's not who he was, which is an incredibly important distinction that is often glazed over). And I love Lily, she's a lot like I'd imagine her. Their dialogue is adorable yet believable, and I think you did a really good job establishing their relationship, with James reluctant and embarrassed and Lily confused and pleasantly surprised at the new James. Overall I really like it and I'm excited to read what happens next!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it! And I hope you like the rest of what's coming as well! Report Review
I don't even know where to start...I loved this!! I think Lily is very well written and believable; even though she completely hurt James you can't hate her for it because her side is understandable! She's a really deep character which comes through even in the first chapter, and even though she's super frustrating (just now realizing James loves her? Nice one, Lily...) she is also very endearing, because you can tell that her behavior comes from a place of insecurity. James, in what we see of him, is just how I'd imagine him! So as far as plot setup, this is excellent! And in terms of writing mechanics, it's very very well written...basically it's all together amazing and I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Awwie!!! :D Thank you SO much! :) My FIRST Review & Reviewer. I'll always remember you. :D I'm glad you liked it. Thank you. :)
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