I'm awful. I definitely thought I'd reviewed this. Sorry for taking so long!
The end! Ah. Lovely, of course. Especially the very last few sentences. A new book! "Deathly Hallows he thought..." Genius. I've said it several times, but just to mention it once more while I have the chance, your Ron is amazing. :) "I feel the same...wait." I love how he was so prepared for what he thought was coming, but had to completely rewind his train of thought. And, of course, I enjoyed how the shopkeeper thought they were talking about Lord of the Rings. Ha. :D
Really, really lovely little story! I'm glad to have read it. Wesley Weasley...hm. ;)
Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Haha thanks, glad you liked it. Yeah I like my Ron too. :) Thanks for leaving a review! Report Review
Wow. Gah. I want to know what exactly happened to Hermione now. ;) Ron is amazing, as always. Sharp birds! But the end was adorable, with Wesley being all confused and some fluffy Ron/Hermione hugging. Other than Ron, I think my favorite bit was Harry bursting onto the scene. He has a piece of wood! :D
Sorry it takes me so long to review. So much to do. But anyway, I can't wait to see what happens next.
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: thanks so much for continuously reading! Report Review
You scared me for a moment, making me think it was all something Wesley made up. Muggles. ;) Poor Ron. He's really on a rollercoaster in this story, isn't he? I do hope we'll get more information not only about Wesley, but about the battle that just happened. Who were the other people when Ron pulled Wesley out of the wardrobe? Wesley was adorable, as always, though. The stick? Genius. :) Oh, the conclusion to this is going to be extremely interesting. I can't wait for the next bit!
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! The next chapter is being validated and you'll find out a lot more! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Lovely quote, as per usual. But, wow, that beginning was increadibly deep and heartfelt. I especially enjoyed the bit of McGongall's immoral essay (which sounds terrible out of context, by the way) and Amelie's mind "walking" around. :) They were just such great word choices. I really loved how she didn't feel like she deserved to be in the company of her friends. I mean, she doesn't treat them in the greatest ways sometimes, but still way deep down she always cares for them and that shows true friendship and is, of course, absolutely beautiful. That almost sounds sentimental...;)
Anyway, I cannot express how extremely happy I was to learn more about Kyle. For some reason your boys are really intriguing me. And his bond with Amelie is such a great addition to the story. I mean, it's good that she finally got to share her past with someone else. Apparently Kyle will also be an instrument in Amelie letting her real self surface.
I liked the mention of how Amelie pretended to support the cause. Maybe that's just because I read an amazing story once where the main character called her father's speeches the Cause Speeches. Ah...the good old days...anyway, yeah, I suppose that just reminded me of that. Not that it matters much to you, I'm sure. ;)
Perhaps Kyle really has been imparted with the knowledge of where the Holy Grail is located. ;) He at least knows a good deal more about our Amy. Really, his comment there helped ease the mood and just fit so well. Lovely. :) And I'd also like to mention that I quite enjoyed your narration about how Kyle was afraid at learning Sirius's mind-reading ability. Of course, it was also nice that Amelie could enjoy a moment of remembering her past glory, as she has so very few of those moments from her home life.
A very fitting resolution to not be weak followed by an honest response cleary stating the opposite of what was being said before. Classic. But, oh, that whole section there. Man. I give in. Kyle, I love you, too. Just like the Marauder boys. :) Nice and happy ending to a not so nice and happy conversation. Just as it should be, and very nicely done. ;)
The various responses to stress were nicely played out. I particularly enjoyed the bit about Remus and Lily spending leisure time in the library (but that's probably just because I'm just like them). But, aw, the ending was so painful. After that she still says she hates the guy. Wow. Amelie gets distracted painfully easily. I mean, at least when it comes to Sirius. ;)
Wow. All I could do in this whole review was gush. I'm amazing. ;) I enjoyed it, of course, and I'm off to read the next chapter soon. Nearly there.
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Finally, I get to resopond to this- I'm at my friends house. ^_^ Sorry for the delay. My firewall seems to have a grudge against you *sobs*.
Oh wow,so much gushing. *blushes*. I really love your reviews. XDKyle was seen in greater depth here. I'm glad you like him. He's a great listener. I've always seen boys as having great minds for problem-solving. And who wouldnt be afraid of hearing that about their roommate? Not that Siruis would find their problems interesting (so mundane..)
'Almost sentimental' is key here, lol. CAN amelie be sentimental???
There's a big difference between how she hates how the guy makes her feel and how she feels about the guy... if you get what i mean.
Anywho, thanks so much forthis! Keeep up with the reviews! Report Review
Oh, I just adore Ron and Hermione so much. :) It was great how Hermione included Fleur in the list of terrible things and that whole speech was lovely. It was like...Hermione looked up to him. Harry was great when Ron showed him the letter. I'd imagine, just as a side thought, that Harry would keep contact with Hermione anyway. I don't know, really, I can just imagine that, aside from the romance in the story, Hermione would be a huge loss to Harry, especially when it comes down to hunting horcruxes. Anyway, I'm rambling.
I loved the little interaction between Hermione in her dad. I'm not sure whether she would actually blow up at him like that, but I suppose she's a hormonal teenager, so. ;) The swing and the tree were just great touches, I loved them. I quite like Sirius and Molly, even if they are cousins. :) Really, though, that was a nice touch.
My only criticism with grammar would be the way you have them speaking. I mean, when you speak you're slightly more informal than when you write, so you tend to use more contractions. Like Ron telling Harry that Hermione left, he would say "Hermione, she's gone," instead of "Hermione, she has gone." And that not only goes with human's knack for wanting to speak faster, but also the fact that Ron would be in a bit of a rush, I imagine. It just makes it more warm and less awkward, you know? :) There are a few missing commas and typos that change the verb tenses, but they aren't big, so.
And I just have to point out that I loved this line: I thought I had lost you, and you thought you had lost me, so if we have both lost each other, that means we can find each other again, doesn’t it? Just...such great logic. :)
Thanks for the read, I enjoyed it. :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: OMG ! That is probably the nicest and best review anyone has ever given me ! And I don't mind rambling at all ;) Ooh thanks for saying about the commas etc. I will check that out !
Oh man, thanks so much !!!
Love Caitlin x x x x x x Report Review
This was really a lovely little story with a unique and interesting pairing. I think you may have made me fall in love with Seamus/Luna. I love them both seperately, so I suppose it's even better to put them together! :) I think you did extrememly well with the characterization of both, especially Luna's quirkiness. The only thing I would say is that she probably knows that Neville consented just so he wouldn't argue. I mean, I could see her saying, "Neville said he could see them, but I think he was just saying that." or something, you know? It would just be more of her knack for saying uncomfortable things. :)
The style of this was lovely, too. I mean, it's sort of choppy, but it flows so well and is really an enjoyable read. I love how you simplified everything, like the kiss at the end. The only other thing I would say is that you seem to have a continuity problem with commas. I mean, traditionally in a sentence like the very last, it would be "Goodbye," Luna and in sentences where you start with the person and then what they say, it's Luna replied, "Okay." You tend to go back and forth between the two. It really doesn't detract from the story, though, it's just a nitpick of mine (I know, I like commas, I do, I do). :)
Anyway, really, really lovely little story. I loved it. Thanks for a great read and hopefully my review didn't bore or confuse you too terribly!
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thank you, I didn't even notice the continuity problem so thank you for pointing it out. I was worried I hadn't done the characterization of them right! Your review didn't bore me or confuse me- I love reviews like this.
Thanks again :) Report Review
I can't believe this has so few reviews. You have a gorgeous banner, a summary that really reels you in, and a great story, of course! :) I love how Ginny puts everything into perspective in the story, she describes her personality and Harry's personality and just...wow. It was beautiful for them to go together and it just made so much sense. And, of course, it was great that you compared them to Voldemort and Bellatrix. Even just the little bit of description of the war was beautifully done, just, ah. :)
But, really, I think I particularly enjoyed the little interaction just before Ginny joined the war. I mean, they had to kiss before Harry left, of course! This was just lovely and I loved it. Well done! :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thank you!! Ahh you have me blushing! haha I'm glad you like the banner, which I take no credit whatsoever for, and it's nice to know that I have a good summary! I always fret over that. I'm really really happy that you liked the comparison between Voldy and Bella since that's where the whole story orginated from. And thank goodness you liked the description of the war! I really struggled through that, trying not to make it seem too fast paced. I love the beginning also! If it wasn't from Ginny's POV then that convo would seem so different to the reader, I think. Anyway, thank you sooo much again! I really appreciated this! Report Review
Lovely quotes. Although I think your formatting may be off, as there's no break between the quote and your author's note...:)
Oh, Dumbledore, so great. I have a feeling that he would consider what's going on between Amelie and Sirius somewhat amusing. I like how he says he only wants decency between students. Great man. ;)
I really liked how Amelie's started to see Sirius in random people. I could see that in the future, you know...;) Dorcus's response to Amelie's question was priceless. It's ten times more funny when she says Black's head instead of just Black. Really. And Lily really was the best way to end the battle there.
Kyle, ever the Er, there's supposed to be something more to this sentence, I'm assuming?
Amelie's thoughts are so wonderful. Your coding's off a bit, though. I mean to say, the narration is in italics on most of her thoughts and it shouldn't be. It makes it slightly confusing. Oh, Remus. I love you. Of course, this is not the point, as I've said before. I loved how Amelie was compared to a cat in that bit. I think you could have played with that a bit more if you wanted. But this is just my mind running away with what you've written and adding to it. I mean, something like how Amelie was glowering at him and all he could do was think of how animalistic she looked at the moment. Ah. Anyway, that's not important.
Poor Remus (I still love you, anyway). :) Amelie's not quite up his alley, hm? Sirius and James were quite fashionably late. This just gets me:
“Absolutely gorgeous on you, darling,” replied Black with careful flattery. Oh, Paddy (yeah, I'm just not as cool as James when I say it, I know). ;)
Amelie's reaction to Sirius winking at her was brilliant. Perfect teenage response. I'm really looking forward to a Callum/Kyle/Amelie interaction, by themselves. It'll be nice to see their characters more fully. This just gets more interesting in the plot for Amelie to find herself. Because it seems like she knows who she is and what she is, so this is almost more of a story of just letting herself be who she is. And that's ingenious, really, because it's a different take on the 'find yourself' stories out there.
I quite enjoyed a civil conversation between Amelie and Sirius. The opening to it was lovely, and how they both seemed like they didn't know what to say for a few moments (Ah, young love...). I'm fond of how you've given them even more history, that they find a refuge in one another when they're at home. It's clear that, whether they like it or not, they both know each other, and that's just lovely. :)
I think I hex you a bit too much. That makes me grin. Just about as much as the Sirius-Professor-compliment. It's amazing what a nice little conversation with Sirius can make one forget. ;)
So, overall this was quite lovely, as usual, and I have to mention that I'm happy that it occured during Herbology for some strange reason. But, anyway, the only other thing I have to say is that you've got some comma errors, being in places where periods should be and not being in other places. Like “Sorry,”. That ought to be a period. And things like James, Sirius and Peter strutted in where there ought to be a comma after Sirius, too. :)
All right, then. :D I quite enjoyed it, as I think you can tell. Hopefully, I'm getting through faster than I have been. ;)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Right. I gave this a huge reply this morning and it got DELETED.. so I'm really angry. Hehe. No, thanks so much for theses amazingly long reviews. They're great XD. The tips and pointers are extremely helpful. I haven't looked at this chapter for ages, so reminders on the formatting, etc. are much appreciated.
Dumbledore.. I tried to make him as canon as possible. I hate the way he's always portrayed... like some utterly deluded man thats always high on sugar. All things aside, he is wise and knowledgable... and he cares A LOT about his students. I hope that showed.
Amelie is very confused in this chapter. Things were starting to slip out of her grasp, and she hates it. She needs control in her life - her being the one who controls. It's how she's managed to live so far. This raises tension because she feels annoyed that Sirius is making her
lose control without even trying.
Lol, you love Remus. I've got quite a different Remus in my story than the rest. I'm quite fed up of hearing him as entirely rule-abiding and study-centered. I mean, he was a marauder. Anywho, yes, poor soul was quite unprepared for Amelie's sadistic mind-games (who would be?!)
I tried to make the marauders sort of suave, debonair. Yes, I love them to pieces, so it might be a bit biased... but for all the times they got into trouble, I'm sure there were plenty of times that they worked their way around it. Like then. XD
OH, i Report Review
Ah, I said it once before and I'll say it again, your Ron voice is amazing. I love it so much. :) Ron seeing Hermione was a great touch, really fitting. And Wesley seeing is father...This is really amazing, your story line is so thought out and it's flowing well. The only thing I have to say is that it says Wesley's holding Ron's wand, but then that the light came from Harry's, I believe that's a typo...?
A really great chapter, though, especially the way that Ron almost seems to be acting as Wesley's father. Can't wait for more, as always. :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I love Ron so I hope I'm doing him justice. Yeah the wand thing is a typo, it was originally Harry's wand so I guess I didn't change everything to Ron. Thanks for reviewing, I hope you and the other readers continue to read on even after the 7th book comes out. :) Report Review
Drat. I take way to long and get side tracked way to easily. I'm sorry. But, hey, congrats on the Ultimate Story List and timeturner's top five! Clearly you're doing something right. ;)
Love the quote, as always! And Sirius landing in a Hufflepuff's lap. I think that's great for no particular reason whatsoever. I really, really like how her father's action was what shaped her into...her. I mean, you could probably trace everything in her life back to that day, and that's just amazing. It helps her and it hurts her and, all in all, it just makes her character all the more dynamic (well done!).
It was a nice glimpse into her unacknowledged love for Sirius when she asks herself why it felt right instead of wrong to be in his arms. Nice and subtle, but still letting you know that this is a James/Lily with more history and more violence. ;) The tension in the compartment after that was lovely, though. Everyone sitting across from Sirius makes me think they think he's on his death bed or something (why this is comical, I don't know...perhaps because I know it's not the way he goes).
I see that Lily is a vital instrument in helping Amelie find herself. Always the voice of reason. And despite the fact that I don't understand French, it's nice that it's another similarity between Sirius and Amelie. The Lily conversation was exceptionally interesting. ;) I have to point out here, Paddy is adorable. Especially coming from James. Just adorable. And the glory of being taller than an eleven-year-old is just glorious, isn't it? :) I love these boys too much.
It's great how you brought the Agatha bit around full circle, didn't just mention it and move on. Really added to the humor, there. So Kyle and Callum chats and a chat with Dumbledore in the next one? Should prove interesting.
I do have to wonder why Amelie would volunteer herself to carry Sirius. I mean, as there were four other boys there, who, although I'm sure she wouldn't admit it, are probably somewhat stronger. I'm just not sure how plausible that is.
From the corner of her eye, she could even see some of the Professors nothing looking short of thrilled. I believe that ought to be 'looking nothing.'
What she had just done had gone against every single one of her morals – well, the ones that she had, at least. This sentence is just a bit off, I mean I understand what you're trying to say, but it's not coming across right due to the 'her' before morals. I'm not sure how you'd fix it, unless you put something like 'against every single human moral' or something. But, yeah, the extra bit is just repeating the first part of the sentence the way you've got it worded. And, also, just one thing that bothers me is the use of 'cos, because it isn't a word. To be proper it would be 'cause. I know, I'm horrible, but I just always think that using 'cos somehow degrades an author's work. Especially something as amazing as this.
Wow. This is long. I promise to move faster, I do, I do. :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thanks for these reviews! Long, much?! n_n
But I love them anywho. Thanks for pointing out those typo's/mistakes. I shall be sure to fix them soon.
Amelie felt sort of guilty (understandably) about hurting Sirius, so she wanted to physically do something to make up for it. Sort of like to ease her conscience... perhaps I should have cleared that up.
I'll try and fix that whole moral thing... if I can think of how to rephrase it. And don't worry, take your time, I don't mind! ^_^
x Report Review
Oh, this was lovely. Minerva stories are rather rare, and this was just a great insight into a would-be past. I think you pulled off her character well, you can really sense the pent-up passion and regrets and struggle over her emotions. She's got that elegance that she has in the books, but she's still bordering on adolesence, and that's a great way to portray a character. Caught in the middle (which, it seems to me, Minerva tends to be). I particularly enjoy the bit about her being a Quidditch player, seems so increadibly plausible to me.
I love Dumbledore's modesty about Gryffindor's having a better chance at winning the cup with her as the head. Such a Dumbledore thing to do. My only nitpick about Dumbledore is him referring to Grimm as Professor Grimm. Dumbledore has a habit of calling his staff by their first names, so I think it entirely plausible that he may call him Professor Grimm the first time he address him, but after that I imagine he would call him Tiberius. Or maybe there's some background that I'm not previously aware of (having not read your other story, which I should probably do, come to think...).
Grimm's a great character, from this little glimpse I've seen. I must admit I'm extremely curious about where he went and such now...I'm extremely happy that he gave back the ring. I can see Minerva wearing an engagement ring around her neck for ages and no one knowing...ha. They're both so intelligent, though, in speech and thoughts and realizations, they click. ;) The bits where they touched one another were written beautifully, you could see the passion so clearly.
Anyway, I'll stop boring you with my rambling. I enjoyed it very much, thanks for the great read! :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: I've fixed that bit about what Dumbledore calls Grimm - thank you for pointing that out, I forgot that aspect of Dumbledore's character. It's not a nitpick at all - I really appreciate that you pointed it out to me. =)Thank you so very much for this excellent review! It's great to hear that Minerva and Grimm turned out well as characters and that their relationship was believable. ^_^ Report Review
Ah, what is it? This was lovely, as always. Your Ron voice is entirely wonderful, and Sir Cadogan was a great little addition to the story. :) I have to admit the beginning was a tad bit confusing, but the chapter was wrapped up rather nicely, with another cliffhanger, of course. This is increadibly interesting, Wesley is still adorable as ever. Harry seems slightly off to me, but I suppose you've got room to change him a bit since he's older. ;)
Can't wait for more, as always!
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Glad you still like it and sorry that it was a bit confusing in the beginning. Harry is a bit off b/c of years of pain and such and you'll find out more later as well as what the horcrux is! Thanks for reviewing, an update will come soon! Report Review
Oh, I'm horrid at getting through a whole story. Sorry I'm taking so long! I have to tell you that I find the very first line increadibly funny. To see the quote at the beginning and then that in my browser window. Makes me giggle. :)
I quite enjoyed the description of her waking. Obviously not a morning person. But you're similies were increadibly entertaining. I find it slightly odd that her parents would let her have pictures of her non-approved friends. But I suppose they never come into her room? Aw, I'm sad at the decrease in cuddly toys. ;) I'm hoping we'll get some more background information on how exactly no one knows about their midnight endeavors. Ah, Cissa having a feud with Sirius. That's something I'd love to see. ;) That was a great little paragraph, and I'm glad you included it (although, I would've been entirely elated to see the actual sorting).
Amelie's really having a time finding herself. It's nice that she doubts how much she's been doing with the boys and such. Adds a flaw to her character. The hate for Sirius is also increadibly interesting. The fact that they do have a history as far as romance seems to be rather cliched, but I think you're pulling it off well because your writing is so lovely. ;)
Oh, the Potter/Evans feud. I love James, not the point, however. I think it's hilarious that he manages to drive away the boys that Lily likes. He's a powerful little wizard, isn't he? :) Also, I quite loved the little bit "(apologies to Remus Lupin – the shy, rather gorgeous boy mentioned earlier in the story)." I love Remus, too, but this is also not the point. ;) I have to say I'm a bit suprised at your portrayal of Snape (granted it was only a few sentences). Most people seem to see him as a wimpy little child , but your Snape is quite cruel. Of course, maybe that story was just a rumor or he was trying to keep up Slytherin appearances. Ah, I may never know, hm?
Kyle and Callum sound exactly like the type of boys I'd enjoy spending time with (mind, I actually make friends with the Remus type). I really love the name Callum, by the way, it's nice. Alice sounds lovely and Dorcas seems to be a humor outlet for the story. But who knows, maybe she'll be extremely important in helping Amelie find herself? That could really add depth to her character, make her more rounded. I loved the little Remus equation, though. Chocolate=happy, chocolate=Remus, therefore Remus=happy. ;)
I loved Lily's reaction to the wait of the trunk. Just loved it. Mr. Evans is a nice touch. Ah, fathers. You know me. :) Of course school is easy for Sirius and James. Ha. I would think that they would only do alright, though, as they don't study. I'm sure they'd be on Lily's level if they did. Ah, boys.
Amelie needs Lily for a better effect. That's nice. Levels out her character. ;) In that bit it gets a mite confusing, though, as you keep changing the number from two to four. It would be four, though, as the boys were there, yes?
I'm sure Remus is dominate in his own way. ;) That's the true mark of friendship, there. Lily says one word and everyone understands completely. Just Potter. :) Oh, Sirius and his cocky attitude. I must say, I think you nailed him head on with just kissing Amelie like that. That was quite a little make out session, though. And I have to admit, I feel sorry for dear old Padfoot. I'm a sucker for puppies. ;)
Hum, I think this may be my longest review yet. Of course, they'd be more worthwhile if I actually said something constructive. But hopefully I'll be getting through the story, soon, perhaps a bit faster than I have been. :) Thanks for the lovely read, though!
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Yes, definitely the longest review... but how can you not call long, strings of praise worthwhile?! *grins cheesily*. I swear my head will have trouble fitting through the door soon...
So, you liked the quote I presume? Most of these quotes I have sort of link throughout the whole story, and not just the chapter that they're in. :P
Yes, she's not a morning person at all. Amelie's room is her safe haven. No one goes in there, because she's generally ignored and no one like's her presence. She uses this to her advantage, and rebels in her own way by putting up pictures of her friends, even thought they might not be seen as "suitable" by her family.
Yes, they do have a history, but it's not really romance, though. Just a snog in the broom cupboard... like half the male population. And yes, Amelie hates herself for doing all that. I'm glad you thought that was a nice touch... but I think it's more believable that way. I don't think any girl would be happy to just go around snogging people all the time. After a while, they just don't get the same thrill out of it anymore (but poor Amelie is kinad hooked).
Snape... I have quite a different view on him than most people. I know he was bullied and such, but he was said to be part of a group of people who turned out to be Death Eaters, and he was up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts. Sure, James and Sirius would have bullied him, but I can't imagine Snape taking that lying down. He'd be a cunning Slytherin and try and get them back for it... with the help of his more influential friends. But then, that's just all my way of thinking.
Oh and yes, because Lily goes off, and the boys come, so it becomes four of them. And then later the Marauders, and then Lily and Remus come back. A lot of movement - sorry if it was confusing.
Yes, poor Sirius got a tad more than he bargained for... but then again he was never renowned for his rational mind, was he?
Thanks so much for these reviews! They're absolutely amazing and make my day.. I hope you like the rest of this story just as much!
~joojoo Report Review
I love your beginning quotes, they don't fit just the chapter, but the story as a whole, and that's rather difficult to do. Before I start going off, I forgot to mention in the last chapter how much I love the idea of the tree being a sort of grandparent. It works especially nice with these Pureblood crazed parents running around. ;)
That's so increadibly pureblooded of Annette and her daughters, it's great. Your keeping the continuity extremely well, which can get hard when you're still near the beginning. That was so sad, her being on the train alone watching all the other kids and their parents! You painted a really nice picture there, and Amelie's resolve is perfect. It's nice that she's realizing how cold she's gotten. Hopefully that'll continue? ;)
Lily! Ha, Potter, James Potter, the stalker. It was nice to have a little look into Lily's background, too. Especially how she's so unsure of it, since Petunia had to treat her like a freak. But Amelie finally has a friend and, like she said, she doesn't have to worry about what to say (that was a nice touch, by the way ;)). The only thing about that bit is that Lily doesn't introduce herself until after you've started using her name in the narrative. We, as the readers, know perfectly well that it's Lily, but Amelie doesn't at that point, so. That could easily be moved up to before Amelie asks if she's nervous. Of course, it's not really necessary, it just flows better.
Oh, James. I love James Potter. :) I loved his entrance, it was quite entertaining. I enjoyed what little bit of his personality we got to see, how quickly his moods seem to change (mostly because Lily's there). But more Sirius is good, too. ;) Their reactions are entirely hilarious. What are you doing here? When they know perfectly well that they would both go to Hogwarts. And her explaining that Sirius is a Black. That would've been entirely confusing for anyone, I'm sure. But that's what made it so great. :) It was very much like an eleven year old.
I miss Daddy Turner, too! Amelie's already gone through such a serious change in the story. It's great to see her breaking down her barriers like that, though. It makes you feel for her character more. Off to Hogwarts! (Poor James, getting hit in the head, just for trying to say something.)
I'm afraid I've rambled more in this review than the others. Well, I quite enjoyed the Marauders and Lily, and can't wait to read the next chapter (luckily, I don't have to. :)).
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: wow on the long reply.
The quotes I've just recently added to my story. You see, some delightful reviewee recommended that I put them in, and one of the many days that I was bored, I searched the net (www.quotationspage.com, by the way if you lot wanted to know), I ended up finding some quotes that I thought would suit the story well. Then, each chapter seemed to find its own one ^_^.
Amelie will definitely continue on her path of self-discovery... it's one of the main points of the whole story, and helps bring the message home (yes, it does have a message - or at least it will do by the end). I quite enjoyed writing the squabbling cousins and Aunty Annette. They were so into what they look like that they're forgetting what they want themselves. Quite sad, really.
James - well, yes, what to say. I added him to give some humour. The Marauders obviously needed to be introduced, and I thought that an annoying tendency to follow the red-head would set the scene perfectly for following chapter. He doesn't like her, persay... just finds her fun to annoy, follow, tease... Typical boy behaviour. I'm glad you thought they behaved like eleven-year-olds. I haven't had much experience in writing about children, so I I'm glad to hear that you thought it was realistic.
Yes, Daddy Turner's departure is very sad and made a huge impact on Amelie. This chapter brings home some of what she'd been trying to forget for so long... and, indeed, they are off to Hogwarts.
James is a good subject for torture. You should try it. Tis fun!
Thank you for the long review again. I really don't mind, and I love responding. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the next 4/5 chapters as much as you do this one (8th is up for validation :P).
The quote at the beginning of this is perfect. It really fits the story as a whole, as well as the change Amelie went through in the chapter.
I am absolutely in love with the Victorian feel you've given to the story at this point. It seems to be a very Pureblooded thing to do, even in the seventies (no wonder Muggles think they're crazy). The way you painted out their icy demeanor and how they act around one another, ah, lovely. And there's Sirius! All these Sirius stories, I do believe you're bringing him up in my list of favorites, my dear. :) But, anyway, as I was saying, their quite the epitome of Victorian woman and men, mothers only paying attention to finding their children a suitable partner (Pride and Prejudice, anyone?).
Ah, yes, Sirius in a tree. ;) I can't help it, I love the image of him that you've created thus far, his eleven-year-old self. He's adorable, but he's still got that cockiness that just throws you for a loop. And his whole interaction with Amelie...read her like a book, as you've already mentioned. Bet he didn't expect the punch, however.
I love Amelie's thoughts. Sarcasm and such. Doesn't get much better. How much her father influenced her is amazing, wonderful. And it's just like a pureblood family to blame everything on someone like him. Clearly Amelie's ready to break away, and that's lovely in itself. There's something entirely satisfying in seeing someone find themselves (if only Sirius saw things the same way...;)).
It was also a rather nice touch to add her cousins arguing over jewelry. And their mother looking up to Amelie's mother. Ah, family. ;)
There were a few minor typos, nothing too bad, though. I'm enjoying it very much, if you didn't know by my gushing reviews. :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Yes, I found the quote quite recently, and I had to snatch it. *shifty grin*
Lol, yes, in the middle of all that revolution, here we have a tight-arsed pureblood world who are so incredibly old-fashioned that you'd think you'd been time-warped. You love my Sirius! YaY! I love my Sirius too. He's such an amazing character...so much to write about him. I'm glad I'm converting you.
I was qutie proud of my Sirius-up-a -tree idea. It shows his sort of "I'm superior" side - him looking down on everything, so to speak, plus him being so relaxed makes him seem so much in control (which Amelie hates). SO yeah :D
Oooooh I'm just so glad you like my story so much! All these tiny things you've picked up on! Yay! Report Review
I've been meaning to tackle this for awhile now. It's just beyond intriguing, what with the combined efforts of the summary, banner, quote, and title. Not to mention your other writings are lovely! :)
I have to admit, I did get a bit lost in this, but I think I figured most of it out by the time I finished. I think mostly I was confused by a couple of his/her errors. Let me just say first that I absolutely love the character. I really adore how much she loves her father (I'm a sap for fathers and male bonding...), and I quite enjoyed Mr. Turner himself. He's perfectly gentlemen-like and is the picture of a father. So horrible that he was kicked out! (Like I said, sap for fathers. ;))
Amelie's dolls was a really nice touch. You painted that very vividly, I could see the eight-year-old girl just playing with her dolls. And having the one break, lovely symbolism and such there. She's a very determined little girl, though. I really loved the change around at the end of the chapter. The distance between Amelie and her mother is definitely well written, you've a lot to play with. ;)
Also, I have to admit, I thought it was increadibly funny that the house-elf's name was Hinky. Just so close to Winky. It made me smile. :) On to the next chapter, then, now that I've rambled on.
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: I'm sorry to hear that you got lost so early in, but happy that you found your way back out again :P. Yes, I'm a sap for fathers too - a fact that my friend's can never understand because they're all so close to their mothers (why?!). Daddy Turner was a hard character to let go of, I tell thee.
The doll thing was an idea from the fantabulastic timeturner (her review should be somewhere here). Without her, this chapter would be nowhere near as good as it is now.
And I was reallyyyyy stuck for a name with the house-self, and seeing as it wasn't really needed for the main plot, I just bung a name in. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Oh well.
And I absolutely adore rambling reviews. Don't worry about it at all! =D Report Review
You're extremely good at intensity in a story. It really makes you feel for the character, feel like you're a part of them. I really like how you've put Sirius as the good guy in this story, as a lot of the time he's painted bad (and really, he gets enough of that from his parents ;)). The imagery was lovely, it almost sounds poetic, with all the questions and such. I also quite enjoy your play on words with the song in going back to Black. Completely fits Sirius.
I don't even know what to say, this just brims with emotion and feeling. It's twinged with just the right amount of hopelessness, but still the anger pulls her through that. Obviously Sirius is most important. And that's lovely. :) Really enjoyable, my dear!
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm so sorry for deleting this story first time round - I'm 99% sure you reviewed, and I hated doing it. It just went mad, and I had no choice.
Thanks so much for the amazing review, though. It feels so nice when I get reviews like this, especially when it's on a story that you're not so confident on (like I was -and still sort of am - on this one). I'm so glad you think it suits Sirius. As soon as I heard the song, I just straight away knew that I had to link it to him - and this came out. ^_^ Report Review
Oh, wow. Dreary old Hogwarts. I have to agree with Wesley about how it hadn't been searched before, but it was quite adorable how he really just wanted to see it. Ron cooking! A very comical sight, I'm sure. :) Fred and George were a nice add in, too, especially that they can be themselves and still help in the war effort. Their humor's still sticking, too, I see. ;) There are a few minor typos here and there, but overall it was lovely, as per usual. Poor Hermione!
Anyway, I can't wait for more of this. Off to Hogwarts!
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Yeah I had to add the Fred and George humor somewhere and Ron also. An update is on its way! Thanks again! Report Review
Ah, Ron and Hermione to the core. I really think you nailed them, head on. This was just absolutely adorable. :) I'm sure Poppy's seen her fair share of teenage lovebirds, I wonder how many others she's pointed things out to? ;) I like how you gave the background, that it took them ages to really figure themselves out and grow to accept one another. Harry seemed slightly out of place, but, hey, a war will do that to a person. Ron's determination toward the end with his "oath" is genius. If they suffer, they suffer together. Somehow that makes everything all the more meaningful. Lovely, anyway. I enjoyed it. :)
-Riddle Wood Lupin Report Review
Ah. Lovely, as usual. I love Harry's confidence in a boy he just met a little while before, it's definitely a Harry thing to do. Apparently Wesley's very important. ;) He's adorable, though, really believable for a kid. What's the importance of the locket, I wonder. And I loved the little add on about Ron's Chudley Canon blanket. Perfectly Ron.
I'm loving this story thus far, seems like it's going to go far. Can't wait for more! :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: Ah thanks! Yeah Wesley's very important, you'll soon see why. ;) There's more twists and I hope it does go far. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I really should learn to review right after I read, whether I'm tired or not. ;) I really, really enjoyed the way you expressed the relationship between Regulus and Sirius. It makes them seem more human. Even if Reg doesn't quite get it. I absolutely adore that the tree made up for his lack of a mother. The way they both tried to so hard to really get along, but their personalities just clashed is amazing. You really brought that through. They just didn't understand one another.
Let's see. The 'I'll talk when I'm ready' sentence, the after seems a bit out of place to me. 'He was more than startled how calm he sounded,' your just missing an at between startled and how. You can say it either way, but it comes across clearer with an at. :) And then there's just the last little bit where you said James, but you were talking about Reg. ;)
Ah, brotherly love. It's good that they can appreciate one another and yet still not hesitate in the least to tell each other how horrible they are. It's very realistic. I enjoyed this. ;)
-Riddle Wood Lupin Report Review
Wow. Sirius was very much a teenager in this, wasn't he? ;) Perhaps your other story didn't have me in the right mood for all the anger in this, but I know exactly where it's coming from. It's understandable, even if you aren't in the mood, if that makes sense.
I would really love to see Sirius showing up at James's house. The reactions he would get and such (maybe I just love male bonding time a little too much...). It's lovely that he has that teenage fire though. I think the best part was him calling Mrs. Black Mumsy. Very fitting. And also when he states so simply that he loves Andromeda. It's just so...Sirius.
I find that it's increadibly appropriate for you to make them cowards (attacking their teenage son from behind? I mean, really). Regulus was neatly written in, I'm slowly finding myself more intrigued by their relationship. But mostly I think I just adore the last scene. How he mentions life never turns out the way you see it and how he views James as his real brother. Ah, lovely, really. :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: yay! another one! Yes, well, we always knew that Sirius was the rebel, and I always wanted to try a little of "the world through Sirius' eyes", so to speak. This challenge just gave me the perfect opportunity for that.
I would try the Sirius/James meeting, but I'm terribly afraid that I'll muck this up. I mean, there wouldn't be any dark atmosphere in the Potter's house now, would there?
I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
This is a very well written love gone horribly wrong story. I enjoyed it. :) I loved the little bit about her free will at home. The Weasleys all have such powerful personalities that it would be hard to find your place, and since Ginny's the youngest and the only girl I can see her having a lot of trouble with that. And I also thought it was absolutely wonderful that Ginny's so dead set on not letting Tom get Harry. It's just perfect (eternal Harry/Ginny shipper here ;)).
There are a few minor continuity errors here and there, such as referring to Tom as him or he, when in the rest of the story she calls him you, and some verb tenses not matching. But I like the short, choppy sentences. I've found they can be extremely helpful in trying to impact your readers, and you've done just that.
From this I can really empathize with Ginny. She went through a lot, and now I'm finding it all the more hard to find flaws in her character. Well done, I loved it! :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: thanks for the review!
This one-shot was a really quick spur of the moment thing, and I haven't yet had the time to edit it. When I do, I'll be shore the fix those tense errors and such - thanks for pointing them out.
I just wanted to sort of bring out the point that Ginny really did trust Tom and how much he let her down. I thought that with Ginny's feisty personality, it would make her stronger, and even more adamant to be there for Harry - especially when she found out that Tom was in fact Voldemort and that he wanted to get at Harry right from the start.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
I don't know much about this, but it really makes for a lovely little story. It just shows how absolute the love he feels for her is. I enjoyed your description, I love it when an author falls into one of those moods. It just seems to produce something abstract, even if it's just changing the everyday words for a mood or a process.
It was nice that she said she was a child of both. It's like she's able to let the sun "steal her glory," and then let the night glorify her. Brings her down to earth, if you will. And it's good that he perfers the moon, it enhances the story, his infatuation.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm making sense. I enjoyed this little story, though, and I'm hoping to see more from you soon! :)
-Riddle Wood Lupin Report Review
Ah, was is Harry noticing? You're extremely good at cliffhangers. I'm enjoying this very much. I love how Harry is Wesley's hero. That's just perfect. And that he was excited to be stunned. I wonder where Hermione is, too. This'll be interesting to see, as far as Wesley's knowledge of their world. Can't wait for more. :)
-Riddle Wood LupinAuthor's Response: You'll find out in the next chapter what Harry was noticing. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection