Reading Reviews From Member: TheMarauderChick
  
26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheMarauderChickThe Last Keepers Of The Light: Chapter One

8th January 2014:
Hello! It's Sankavi/&thereshegoes here for your requested review :)

So let's begin, yeah?

Plot: You start right off the bat making me wonder, who's this girl? Why is she chained up? Did she do something wrong? All these questions are what gets the plot moving. I feel like your pace was really good too, not too fast but also not too slow. You didn't bag us with too much description (which I'll come back to in a bit) and especially that cliffhanger ending ties up this chapter really well for a great start. I can't wait to see what you've got planned plot wise for the rest of the story! (I'm especially excited to see how the holy grail ties in)

Characterization: I love how you don't give us her name till the end, and not even her first name at that. It adds a mysterious effects to it :) The way you paint Jugson and Selwyn, ugh they just make me cringe. Just by describing the way they act, you bring out how vile they are, so yay!

Spelling/Grammar: This isn't really my forte, but I'll do my best! So, my first thing isn't really a spelling or grammar error per se. In you second paragraph, at the end, I feel like that last sentence would be much more dynamic without the 'I guess'. Just a thought :) Second, at "That's right" I could almost, there should be a comma after right. Like that, a lot of your dialogue doesn't have punctuation, so just make sure to go through and check every single dialogue bit :) (if you would like, send me a pm and I'd be happy to help!) That was all I could really catch grammar/spelling wise, and I'm not sure if that's cause you're just great at that, or I'm just terrible haha :P

So, description. Description is, at least for me, a terrifying beast that I haven't quite conquered, but it seems that you have. I know it can be hard to figure where the line between too much and not enough is, but I think you've found a good balance. The description goes at a really good pace and you're also not hounding the reader facts, which is good. The only thing I'd have to say on this is sometimes, and this happens when you've got huge chunks of description like at the beginning, I think you're trying to convey so much to the reader that you're a bit all over the place. Like when you're describing her being tied up, you talk about her head throbbing, but then her arms hurting, and then you're back up top to the neck, and then you move onto the back. I think that you could start at one spot and work your way from there. So in this scenario, that would mean talking about the head, then the neck, and then the arms/back. Ack, sorry if I'm not making any sense here :S But I think you get what I'm trying to say?

I really like this story though and I also like where it's headed. If you found my review helpful, totally rerequest!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: I'm so so sorry that I'm so late replying to this! Life's been so busy lately so it's been a little hard to keep up!

Wow, what a detailed review and I'm so grateful for that!

I'm glad you like the plot and if I'm 100% honest, half the time I don't even end up sticking to planned plot lines! I just go with it, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. Half of these chapters were supposed to be completely different!

Also, so happy wth your feedback on description! It's something I always always have trouble with! Sometimes I over describe and my words soundless like pointless babble.

Thank you so much again for the lovely review!


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Review #2, by TheMarauderChickThe Girl from Slytherin : Prologue

30th December 2013:
I really like how this starts! It is suspenseful and makes all these questions run through my mind. Who is Tor? Who are her parents? And whose is that boy? What kind of relationship does he have with Tor?

Great start!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hello! I'm really happy to hear you liked the beginning, and that it had you asking questions. I guess you'll just have to read on and find out! :)

Thank you for the lovely review! :D


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Review #3, by TheMarauderChickThe Art of Being Bad: The Art of Colliding with Arrogant Crumbums Whilst Thrift Shopping (Or Rapping About It)

24th December 2013:
It's all good, we can die alone together bro :)

I don't think Scorpius is a crumbum. Though I may be slightly biased. I actually cannot WAIT for the lessons to begin. I ship scorose so hard in this and I'll probs ship them even harder during the lesson. And you know what rose, screw lysander. Take scorpius and RUN.

I'm really wondering why on earth he's taken such a sudden interest in Rose. Maybe it's not a /sudden/ interest, but a long standing one that he's only just now decided to act on?

This was kind of a filler, but I can't wait for your next update. Bye for now broski oski!

-Sankavi ^_^

P.S. How is the ownership of Ryan Gosling going? You got him yet?

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Review #4, by TheMarauderChickThe Art of Being Bad: The Art of Fraternizing with Puppy-Kicking, Child-Punting, Owl-Punching Ruffians

24th December 2013:
ASDKJALSFJDLDSFKJS I HAVE JUST CLIMBED ABORD THE LE SCORP EXPRESS, WQHOOT WHOOT.

I loved this chapter so much!! Just the interactions between scorpius and rose were so, gaah! And Rose is so gullible. I wonder what these learning to be bad sessions will be like.

Scorpius is, btw, is so unf-y and I just want to eat him up like rose ate the ice cream and his winking and bada**ness and just SCORPIUS man. Now THAT is what you call a catch ;)

See you in chapter 6!

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #5, by TheMarauderChickThe Art of Being Bad: The Art of Gormandizing Rejection Ice Cream On Your Knees At Night

24th December 2013:
YOU PROMISED A LINE. THAT WAS ONE WORD WOMAN. But I forgive you because the next chapter is up right now meaning i can read it now (in which there BETTER be some scorp bro).

Awww, when Lysander was calling her all innocent and adorableb, it kind of made my heart break :( He is such cutie patoot.

Well, I'm going to read me some hot serving of scorpius so toodles dearie!

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #6, by TheMarauderChickThe Art of Being Bad: The Art of Eluding the Scooching Game

24th December 2013:
YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE SCORPIUS D:< i feel betrayed. I thought it was gonna be le scorp who opened the door.

Anywhos, Harold is, uh, quite the catch. Him and his excessive use of the word smexy. Yup. A total catch. . .

My favourite thing so far though has to be Rose's singing in awkward moments. Expecially that song of all songs.

Guess who's going to go read the next chapter?

#YOLO

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #7, by TheMarauderChickThe Art of Being Bad: The Art of Attracting Perverts with Ketchup-Stained Parkas

24th December 2013:
Yes, Rose is a nerdcake pushover, Kind of on the whole Dom is a skanky -insert profanity- thing, and YES YES YES ON A HOT SERVING OF SCORPIUS!!!

I don't really have much else to say on this chapter other than Harold is creepy creeper who could be endearing if he was so, you know, creepy.

Off to read the next chapter!

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #8, by TheMarauderChickThe Art of Being Bad: Prologue

24th December 2013:
I love the first line in this, and i really like how this starts the story off! I wan't wait to meet Lysander and I really want to see how Scorpius ties in to all of this :)

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #9, by TheMarauderChickSubjugo Sempiterne - Forever Under the Yoke: Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

6th December 2013:
Hello! I'm Sankavi, here from the review tag thread ^_^

I love how this is (partially) from a elf's pof! It's not something i have seen often, and you've wrote it very well. The dynamics between the elf and the wizard is interesting, and with Rhein's added insight, it kind of reminds me of winky and her masters :)

The only sort of 'criticism' i have is the part where winifred figures out how hywel was was mobbed is very quick to the point where i kind of has to do a double take, because i didn't realize what had happened. i'm so sorry that i don't really know if there's a way tot fix this (or if it even needs fixing . . . ) but yeah. my two cents right there.

I really like this and I can't wait for the second part!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hi Sankavi!!

^_^ It's great to hear that this was something new to read about. Having an elf as a MC was a bit of a challenge. I was trying to set the stage for how house elves got into the situation of being house elves - so someone like Rhein made sense in that time too.

Ah, yeah, I could definitely flesh that out a bit to make it clearer - thanks for pointing that out!

I'm so glad you liked it. I should have the 2nd part out in a few weeks.

-Rose


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Review #10, by TheMarauderChickRaining: Potions, Sixth Year.

13th March 2013:
Hi! I'm back again :)

(One quick thing before I start. It took me a while to realise it was in James' POV so maybe you want to mention it shortly at the beginning? IDK, it might just be me being picky :P )

Flashback! I love flashbacks because you learn more of a character's history :D (wait, would this even be considered one? meh) Oh Jimmy, you charmer you ;) Wow, I was not expecting him to have had feelings for Amelie before Amelie had discovered hers for him. (because honestly, guys can be a bit daft when it comes to those things haha)

I really like Amelie's character, she is so cool! I love her strong, independent, booyah girl power attitude. And she's feisty. I like feisty. RAWR.

And oh god, what have you gotten yourself into Jimmy boy? I feel like the last word pretty much sums up his life haha.

Now onto some serious stuff (kind of. I mean, since when am I serious?)

I like that this is in James' POV. I personally think that it is very difficult to write in a guy's pov, so kudos to you! I especially like the thought process in the end. So funny!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hello!

That's a good point - but usually I try and steer away from the '~***___JAMES' POINT OF VIEW_**~' kind of stuff because it ruins the flow of the story. I also don't really like saying 'Hi my name's James and this is blah blah' in first person POV because I think it feels strains... and with my way, it keeps people guessing ;)

And no and yes, I suppose - it's not really a flashback because the story jumps around in terms of chapters and time, but then it also is because it's different to the present day (whatever that is in this story).

N'awww I like feisty too!

Thank you so much for reviewing! :D


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Review #11, by TheMarauderChickRaining: 'Train Ride', Seventh Year.

13th March 2013:
Hi! I'm Sankavi here from the BvB :)

I will tell you ahead of time that I wrote this down as I was reading so sorry if it doesn't really flow all that well at the beginning :)

Okay, so, the first thing I started wondering was, who is her mum? Also, is she some kind of troublemaker? (Amelie, not the mum) Is that why she didn't become Head Girl? You leave the reader wondering a lot of these questions which makes us want to read more to find the answers! Also, having this in just the first few paragraphs is great!

I love how you get right into Amelie analyzing what the relationship between her and James is. It gets right to the action (sorta) which I like because, well I'm not sure, but I think it's really nice! (or it's at least different from a lot of other stories I've read)

I'm not sure if you intended this to happen, but I got giddy when I saw the word raining! I feel like it's a good sign when you spot the title in the text ;)

Ahhh! So they've had past experiences smooching huh? (okay maybe not really. but still) And asdfkjlsdf SHE KISSED HIM!!! AND HE WENT WITH IT!!! Totally not weird at all ;)

I'm really excited to see where this story is going to go from here and what kind of plots unravel! Expect to see me reviewing a few more of these chapters ;)

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #12, by TheMarauderChickOblivious to the Obvious: Hatred Behind The Scenes

7th March 2013:
Hello! Back again :)

Do I sense a ickle crush here ;) ('And suddenly, with Georgeís smile, my heart seems to go into overtime')

Anyways, who knew Oliver could get so angry? And what was up with the whole backed up against the wall thing? Oliver, you need to learn the concept of personal space.

I really liked the descriptions of Hailey's feeling when Oliver was doing his schpiel. How she was so nervous yet angry at the same time. It was like I could feel what she was feeling!

Also, I can't wait to find out what happens during the tryouts next time. I totally feel like she's gonna do something drastic and Wood'll kick her off the team (meh, wouldn't put it past him)

Bye till the next chapter!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hello! I love seeing people return for more! It means that the chapters are interesting and my characters are worth revisiting!

And there may be just little bit of a crush going on there...maybe a rather large one, but then again, what do I know ;)

And yeah, I enjoy describing emotions. I don't know why. I just like when the reader can feel the emotions and relate to the characters feeling them! And Quidditch tryouts? Well, they're bound to be fun!

Thanks much for the review!
~Grimmerz


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Review #13, by TheMarauderChickOblivious to the Obvious: Sarcasm And Annoyances

7th March 2013:
Hello! I'm Sankavi, here from the BvB (yay team blue!).

The first thing that came to mind when reading this was why is she so angry at Wood? Like, is there some other backstory that'll come up later or is it just because Wood acts like a poo to her on the pitch? I think it's a great way to start the story because it's like you're starting in the middle of the action.

I also really like the group of friends you've got going. The way Angie, Alicia, and Katie interact with Hailey is really nice to read. They sound so close!

I think this is really nice start to your story and sets it up for quite a lot of conflict. Can't wait to see what happens in the broom shed ;)

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry for the slow reply! I was in the middle of a crazy semester at school and summer really didn't settle down to much...but I'm here responding now!

And there is a little bit of back story to her and Wood being at each other all the time. I mean, not a lot. Mostly it's that Wood doesn't treat her very nicely. And it does get worse in later chapters. So it sort of is a little more justified later on.

And I'm glad you like the introductions of Hailey's friends. I have a lot of people to keep track of in this story and if I'm building thier relationships well, that's good to know!

Thanks so much for the review!
~Grimmerz


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Review #14, by TheMarauderChickThe Price of Freedom: One Shot.

5th March 2013:
Hello! I'm Sankavi here from the battle thread :D First of all, thank you for that lovely review you left me ;) Now onto some real reviewing, yeah?

Okay, I think you take on Pansy as amazing. I saw a glimpse of it in Limbo (and it may or may not be the same version of pansy, but still) and i think it's super clever. When reading the hp books, she comes off as a very snobbish girl who doesn't care for anyone but herself (her fawning over draco doesn't count because i honestly don't think she had true feelings for him)) but here you show how she went through so muich, just to be with blaise.

Very well written :)

-Sankavi ^_^

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Review #15, by TheMarauderChickThe Middle Man: five.

5th March 2013:
asdjfhskldfjal THEY HAD ALONE DARBUS TIME :D That's right, i've already got ship names going ;) I kind of want to know why Dom was so insistant about Darcy not dating her family members. It seemed as if it was more than just ew, they're family. Anywhos, can't wait for your next update! (i only discovered this story earlier this morning and it's already been updated today. what the floop!) Ermahgerd, they're going out for dinner. even if they say it's completely business, it's totally a date ;) Love, love LOVE IT!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Darbus? Oh dear, we have a ship name! Haha :)

I think Dom was just bothered by the idea of her family taking in yet another person from the wizarding world. She probably gets sick of it being paraded around her all the time, and I would imagine that she wants it to stay out of her work life if possible. Still, I think she'd be happy for her friend if Darcy was really happy. (Hey, I couldn't have all the Potter-Weasleys be thrilled about having a big, famous family.)

This story is about halfway done and I post a chapter every Sunday. It's all pre-written, but I definitely appreciate input from reviewers, so please do continue to let me know what you think! Thanks for stopping by to review!

-Amanda


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Review #16, by TheMarauderChickThe Odd One: Plotting Revenge

4th March 2013:
Hi there! I'm Sankavi here from the BvB :) Go team blue!! :D

So, i really liked first of all because it was from Tom's point of view. In the book, we got to hear some of his thoughts, but only the ones that were voiced. Here It's nice to see things like "
I canít wait until for the moment when Iím fully in control of my powers, then I can finally seek revenge. "

It kinda makes you think, had tom always wanted to turn out evil? Even at such a young age?

Although this was a little short, I really like bits like " After I dealt with the rabbit, neither of us could be near it." because it showed the cynical side of him. But then you contrast it with like "But I wanted them to see how I felt. To have something precious taken from you is never nice. But my parents did that to me, they removed themselves from my life. So I decided to inflict the pain I felt onto others, as they needed to be taught how I felt every day." which makes you want to just hug him cause you felt so bad.

Really good job on this!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hi Sankavi, and yeah go Team Blue!

I'm really glad that you liked Tom's POV as I had so much fun writing it! I'm glad that you liked the last line, as I wasn't too sure about it, as it sounded kind of stilited to me, but yay anyway!

I do hope that Tom had wanted to turn out evil, and I hope that it was his circumstances, but I guess we'll never know!

Yeah I kind of wanted to hug him when writing this, which was a little worrying, but I guess it helped show a side of him that we don't often see. I think that's he a very complex person, so I wanted to reflect that, so hopefully it came through!

Thank you for this lovely review, and TEAM BLUE FOR THE WIN! (I get a little too excited in review battles;D)


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Review #17, by TheMarauderChickOver The Edge: Chapter One: Prologue: The Man In The Suit

2nd March 2013:
Wow, I really like where this is going!

I swear, when the guy first said 'Ms. We . .' I thought he was going to say Ms. Wednesday, not sure why XD

This angle you've taken on Krum is really interesting. I've always wondered what happened to him after DH. Did he ever find a girl? Whatever happened to him? Di he vanish into thing air?

He's obviously done something bad to land in Azkaban, and I want to know what it is!!! It also makes me wonder who exactly would want revenge on Krum and how far will the go? (obviously pretty far)

This first chapter adds alot of suspense and relaly makes me want to know what happens next. Really nice job!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Thanks, MC. I'm glad you liked it. I always wondered what happened to Krum too. He couldn't go on playing Quidditch forever, right? And I'm really happy you found the first chapter suspenseful. That's definitely what I was aiming for.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by TheMarauderChickLimbo: One Shot.

2nd March 2013:
Hi there, I'm Sankavi! I loved this :) Never have I, personally, seen a Harry/Pansy ship, so I thought that was super cool! That added on to the fact that she is also working as Auror is also an idea that I've never seen. Or at least not done well. I really like the descriptions you used and although this was short, it totally gave me a picture in my mind about how harry felt.

Great job on this!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: hi sankavi, how're you going? thanks very much for the review, very much appreciated it and delighted you enjoyed it and found it to be an original concept :) I haven't read that many Harry/Pansy ones, and I couldn't see it happening just "because they fell in love" - I would have to picture it being a bit more lust based than anything else if it were to happen at all, which is how this idea was born lol. Thanks very much, glad you enjoyed it! :) Bobby xx

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Review #19, by TheMarauderChickThe Sinking of Astoria Greengrass: 1.

26th April 2012:
i love this story so far! astorias attidude is hilarious. i've never this kind of take on her character before and i can't wait to read more!

update soon!

~Sankavi

Author's Response: Thank you! Hilarious? Hum.. you can say that.
And I will ^-^


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Review #20, by TheMarauderChickThe Dark Side of the Moon: Bill and Fleur

29th March 2012:
Poor Vic :'( gosh, it must be hard having to repeat the same story over and over again to people.

i can't wait for the next chapter! will it take place in hogwarts?

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

The next chapter doesn't take place in Hogwarts, no. I considered it, since Louis is still in school, but I think I've decided against it. Given how much Vic didn't want to talk to her parents about it, I think that she probably would avoid confiding in her kid brother (well, seventh year, but still) until she knew one way or the other.

Thank you for the review! :)


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Review #21, by TheMarauderChickThe Dark Side of the Moon: A Late Night Visit

29th March 2012:
CLIFFIE!!!
i love how you portray Lavender in this story :) i always feel like people think she's jsut a blonde bimbo just because of her relationship with ron, but there's just so much mroe to her than that :)

a sheild charm produced by WWW, tricky tricky. gosh, i wish i knew who the werewolf was, but i have no guesses :S

this was a great chapter and can't wait to read the next one! see you in the reveiw section of chapter six!!!

Author's Response: I'm really glad you like my portrayal of Lavender. I completely agree about there being a lot more to her than that - I find her to be a fascinating character, personally.

Thank you so much for the review! I'm really glad you're still enjoying the story. :)


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Review #22, by TheMarauderChickThe Dark Side of the Moon: The Aftermath of the Forest

29th March 2012:
Awww :'( this chappie seems so sad to me for some reason . . .

i realize i have not reveiwed in a long time, but im back! ;D

k, so, teddy and victoire are adorable! im glad you decided not to make them so sappy because i 've seen that in other stories (not ones by you) and im like NO ONE ACTS LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE?!?!?!?!?!

" . . .Potion or not, I don't think I'll be interested in having sex with you while you're transformed, but other than that, I think we're good."

i love this part, it made me burst out laughing for no reason.

but anywhos, off to reveiw your other chapters, bye !

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm really glad you're continuing to enjoy the story. :) I'm glad that part made you laugh - it made me laugh, too, writing it. :P

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Review #23, by TheMarauderChickThe Dark Side of the Moon: The Full Moon

3rd December 2011:
o.O DUN DUN DUN.
okay, so this chapter was VERY action packed. i like it :) but uno question-o: doesn't Victiore technically have some wolfish qualities because of bill? other than that though . . . me likes:) how many more chapters of this do you think you'll update of this before you update CINAS?
Update soon :D

Author's Response: I don't think she does, no... Bill wasn't actually a werewolf to begin with, and if Teddy doesn't have any wolfish characteristics (and I think that JKR said that he doesn't), Victoire definitely doesn't, you know?

Chapter 4 of this is in the queue now, and then I'll probably update CINAS. :)

Thank you for the review! :) I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you're liking this so much!


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Review #24, by TheMarauderChickThe Dark Side of the Moon: The D.C.B.

30th November 2011:
this chapter was kinda sad, but . . . i like where this is going :) and . . . IS THAT SOME SEAMUS/LAVENDER I SPY?!?!?!?!
-ahem- i love van. there's just something about him, that makes him seem super friendly i guess.

UPDATE SOON!!!

-imperio- mmwahahahahah o_O now you HAVE to update :)

Kavi, VANISH!

Author's Response: :) Thank you so much! I'm really glad you mentioned Van in particular - he's one of my favorite OCs, and I keep trying to work him into my stories because he's a lot of fun to write.

It's actually not Seamus/Lavender. :( I hope that doesn't disappoint you too much! Seamus and Lavender are very close, but Seamus is married to Parvati. (I actually have another fic I'm working on about their friendship and Lavender's recovery right after the war called "Ghost in the Machine," if you're interested! :) )

I put the next chapter into the queue as soon as this one was validated, so hopefully it'll be up in the next few days! :)


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Review #25, by TheMarauderChickThe Dark Side of the Moon: Werewolf Capture

25th November 2011:
yay! new story! kind of excited for this one :) haven't read many werewolf stories around here except for wolfsbane by loopyluna so i'm excited to see how this will turn out :) update soon!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! :) Thank you so much for reviewing. Chapter 2 is in the queue now, so hopefully it'll be up soon!

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