You certainly show the rash side of the Marauders, especially with their clashes with Snape. There was one thing though, you mentioned Greyback bit Remus, and is information that Remus wasn't aware of till much later in his life (between books five and six). Its nice to see that Lily really does care.Author's Response: Thanks for spotting that information about Remus here again. I might add something like "..., but he didn't know the true identity of the werewolf, and actually felt sorry for him." Report Review
This is a nice introduction to James, Sirius and Peter... though there is no Remus yet? I wonder why? You seem to have captured the characters of the marauders well. So far so good.Author's Response: Oh, I think I may have forgotten to put Remus in there. Thank you for spotting it. =) I might edit it to say that he was busy cleaning up a mess since he's prefect, and he later comes into class exhausted. Report Review
This is a very sweet little one shot that shows a lovely scene between friends. Which makes it a nice look at the friendship between the trio and everyone else, especially when you compare it to the darkness of the later books. Lovely, well done :)Author's Response: Thanks for your review! =) Report Review
I love Remus/Hermione, and I saw you asking for reviews on the forum, so I thought I'd drop by and read it. I warn you though I'm pretty honest with my review :) You set the beginning up nicely, we are inform of where and when we are (which really helps :)) I'm not sure I can see Remus crying like that, though I understand why he is perhaps you could add a little more detail about Harry and Ron's deaths or more insight into what Remus is feeling, to help justify his reasons for crying. I like the argument about whether Hermione is dangerous or not, though Snape defending her seems unlikely, he afterall has a deep hate for Werewolves, perhaps you could clarify a little in Snapes thoughts or speech as to why he would be giving her the potion. But its the end paragraph I really liked, about the full moon and the funerals, an insight that was nice to read, if not disturbing :) Off to the next chapter.Author's Response: Thanks... ;) Report Review
I really liked this. I've never read anything that included Merope, but you have really made me love her here, despite what she did to Tom. Its so very sad, and the imagery you have used is wonderful. I liked the choice of the song you used also, and I normally hate songfics, but as usual theres always one that so good it changes my mind. Really well done, and straight in to my favourites.Author's Response: Thank you very much for this wonderful review! This songfic was a lot of firsts for me, and you don't know how good it feels to know that other people enjoyed it, not to mention think it's worthy of being put into a favourites list. Thanks again!
-Terri Report Review
You capture moments so well, I’ve seen you do it before with other stories, so the premise of this story, memories told with snapshots, just works so well with that terrific talent you have. Each time you write I can’t help but wonder how you always manage to top or equal what you have written before, you never leave me disappointed and I could kiss you for it. Plus, you are really starting to make me like Remus/Tonks, between you and Noblevyne I might start shipping them.
I thought that you wrote Remus and Tonks’ interactions well, there is an ease between the characters, a familiarity that speaks so much. Through the small glances and affections they show each other and the speech they share, I think you achieve a wonderful rhythm between them. I really liked this line - “Tell me some stories from your past, Remus,” - I have noticed that many couples love hearing about their other half’s life and tales, just from pure nosiness and curiosity, but here - I don’t know I can’t find the word to say what I mean – she wants to know his essence, his history of spirit, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t and I’ve overlooked, then don’t worry. All I know is it just resounded with me, as I was reading it.
I also loved the memory of the dorm, and how they were all unfamiliar with each other. You always make me believe in the memories you write, and this is no exception, and I was there with Remus, grinning. I particularly liked the line - ”In a matter of moments, there is a tangle of boy limbs—scrawny and long, not yet toned or attractive” - perfect imagery.
I loved how you focused on James, rather than Remus or Sirius, as you have done in the past. I liked how James is relived through Remus’ memories and the pictures themselves. James isn’t a character I easily identify with, and while you’ve always written him well, I don’t think until now that I have loved him this much. You draw out so much in him, and I can clearly see the parallels between himself and his son Harry, though not in everything because you don’t fall into the traps of making them seem the same in everything. I love that you balanced that so very well.
I couldn’t help but notice the overall theme of belonging, you peppered it throughout and compounded the feeling so very well, especially where Remus discovers what his friends have been up to for so long. There were a couple of really excellent lines there, with the nicknames, but my favourite there was - “They’ve done this because of me, Remus thinks with a smile. But most importantly, they’ve done this for me.” - if I was going to cry anywhere in this piece it would have been there, because I felt the welling up. The total sense of belonging and acceptance Remus must have felt would have been so wonderful for him, he would have been so happy; it makes me ache for him.
The end was wonderful, and beautifully crafted. I have to admit I was expecting it to be really sad but I have to admit I just couldn’t be upset for Remus, I felt his pain, yes, but when he asked for forgiveness and Harry replied, I could have jumped for joy. I was so happy to see his ghosts and demons released, putting the past to rest, and moving on. I really loved that you gave him the chance to carry on without that burden of guilt, brilliant!
I don’t normally spot any discrepancies or grammar mistakes in your work, but this one time I did in the line “There were doubts as to where my loyalties lied.” -- I think that ’lied’ should be ‘lay’ a small thing, but I know that you like to be told.
I loved this, and as usual, I am recommend this to everyone and adding it to my favourites. Exemplary!
I love Juliette, and I love that she was imediately suspected for the bringing back of Sirius, its typical of a family situation, and totally typical of kids to be up to somethiong more dangerous than you realise. I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I would like the story due to Draco and Sirius coming back, but you make it totally believable and riveting.Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! Report Review
You had me welling up there for quite a few moments. You've captured the essence of Sirius wonderfully in Remus' bedtime tale, you took my heart for a while and it really was moving. You also had Remus brilliantly, I loved that he explained, that what James and Sirius did to the prefect wasn't nice, that moment was pure Remus to me.Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! Report Review
An excellent introductory chapter, you've told me everything I need to know to quell my doubts about Draco. I especially liked that he and Harry fought, and Harry forgave him, I liked the similarity in the situation to Snape and Dumbledore previously, and it figures that somewhere along the line Harry would grow up and mature in his thinking. I can't wait to see where this goes.Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! Report Review
It has taken me an age to get here and review, so I apologise for my extreme lateness. I didn't realise it was a HG/SS straight away, but I was very pleased to see it was. Its the first ship I loved, and a secret of mine, as a lot of people don't support it and it can get squicky, but you have found a way for them to be together in a totally believable way which has been handled in such a mature way. I love this and have it added to my favourites, thats how much I liked it. I particularily liked your descriptions of the battle at the begining, you had some very dark things to say and bring the reader to observe, and throughout it you managed to make Hermione seem dazed and almost running from outside herself, I loved how that came across. This line in particular really stuck out to me - "The fires burnt lower, there being not much else to feed their hunger than the infernal mud that was everywhere." - The language and phrasing brought 'hell' to mind vividly. I love how after she wakes up, you don't reveal how everyone has reacted to her in the last few years. The fact she left, Harry died and she wasn't there seems wrong but you allow the reader to know that she wasn't really a coward, its something she has inflicted on herself. I honestly would have liked more at the end, but then that could just be me being greedy, and I know it was already quite long. I think I would have liked to have seen what happened next, but that does not take away from the end at all, because I enjoyed Hermione's curiousity. Your characterisation of Hermione was very good, but I think your characterisation of Snape was excellent, and you seemed to do it in a single sentence - The Hermione Granger that once was died there. You are nothing compared to her. - I thought it was a rather brilliant line, that shone out from the screen. I'm also happy to see that you are considering writing the ship again, please do! I'd love to see what else you can do with them.Author's Response: Aw, thank you so incredibly much for reviewing this, Lucid. Don't worry at all about the time it took, I know that you were extremely busy with other things. It's a huge compliment you've paid to me with this review. This ship is really interesting to write about (excluding the icky stuff that people tend to get from it) with the dynamic between Snape and Hermione. The beginning part of this turned out very different from what I planned, yet it's perhaps one of my best setting descriptions - this battle scene is definitely very hellish. This was my first time writing Hermione, so I'm glad that she turned out well. The ending was very difficult to write. First it was too fluffy, and even now it's rather too fluffy, but not as bad as it had been. I would have liked to have made it longer, but for the length that the story was becoming. When I do write more of the ship, I'd really like to add on to the ending of this piece, just to show a bit of the aftermath. Thanks very much for reviewing this! =D Report Review
I really liked this a lot. I loved the ending more than everything else those, I especially liked that you kept Tom in character and that there was no happy ending to it all. Terrifically done.Author's Response: Thanks! I had no idea if Tom was in cannon very well. I really liked the ending too. I'm so happy that you like this! Report Review
You write beautiful, vivid, and descriptive imagery, that really is enjoyable to read. Excellent.Author's Response: Thank you so much, Lucid. I'm extremely glad you think so :) Report Review
Kristen is so very devilish isnt she, you are writing her excellently, and she certain is keeping my eyes glued to the screen. Excellent stuff :) Let me know when you update.Author's Response: thank you I certainly hope that I'll update soon although I've decided to give this entire story a bit of a makeover to fix all the errors and improve on it a bit. Report Review
This chapter was very good, I liked the way that Kristen has very carefully planned things out and seems to be very much in control of what is happening to James. I have a feeling she'll become unstuck in the end :) Report Review
I love the fact that beth caught Sirius out with her quick mind, and I liked that he really had no clue that she was on to him. Kristen is horrid, but thats good characterisation for that character, I want to hate her because shes being so mean. Report Review
Its always nice to see a Griffendor acting unbecoming to their house, its a trait I admire when I see it, because so many people stick to the sterotypical Griffyndor types. Its nice to see James trying to do some constructive towards getting Lily :) Report Review
I like the new fellow treating on James territory, it seems realstic that James would never have clear sailing to Lily, but I think Sirius and Remus would have told James straight away, afterall, how else can they plot to get this interloper out of the picture. Report Review
I liked that you had James and Sirius coming to Remus for help concerning women, I liked it even though I don't think its a thing that they would do. Its nice to see Remus having some power and participating in the chapter :) Report Review
I wouldn't have thought that Sirius would have been so obessed with girls, after al in Snapes Worst Memory we see him practically unaware of any girls who liked him, he seemed to have more interest in his friends.Author's Response: lol well I just thought Sirius fit the crazy girl player type...(I think other fanfictions planted that idea in my head) but hopefully it would be okay because although Sirius didn't notice girls in him 5th year this story is set during his 6th year. But then I should hope he noticed all the attention he was receiving and reach puberty. lol Report Review
I definately liked the interactions between Lily and her Peers, I like the teenage mentality about persuing love, and you have touched that really well. I also think that you captured McGonagall very well, which was great to see :) Report Review
I would suggest getting a beta from the forums or Perfect Imagination to help you with your grammar and punctuation. I can see quite a few mistakes, as writers we can never catch them all, and the input helps greatly. I liked the introduction of Snape and the enevitable clash that followed, and again the banter was good. Report Review
Just a small thing, but you have padfoot in parentheses at the begining, and it really isnt needed, we all know who padfoot is :) The only thing I can honestly say didn't sit right with me at all was Peter not attending this year. Its almost as if you don't want to write him and have found away of not including him. Peter was one 1/4 of the Marauders and very much their friend, why else would they have trusted him so. I am slightly disapointed that he won't be featuring. I like the geniality you have created between the other three, they react to each other wonderfully, in a way thats entertaining to read. I'm also thinking that perhap Remus wouldn't be that dramatic, but thats just my opinion. Its a nice start and agood set up for the rest of the story.Author's Response: I'll admit that I did leave Peter out because I wasn't exactly sure how to write him. However, he will be coming back in about a chapter or two and the reason for his disappearance will be a huge push toward him turning to the Dark side. Report Review
I really liked this. Theres a lot of wonderful moments between all the marauders and you wwrite them wonderfully. I was glad to see that Peter was not only included but excellently characterised (in my opinion) I've always thought that Peter must have been very likable to be in the marauders, or at the very least aimiable. The moment where Remus and Sirius kissed was beautiful I really enjoyed their interaction there, and the discovery after was excellently done, Of course James and Peter would except them. I thoroughly enjoyed this from begining to end. Well Done :)Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I was a little worried about how Peter was portrayed but I'm glad you thought it was decent. :D Report Review
This was an excellent chiller of a chapter, you really did send chills down my spine. The parts where you described what was happening to draco were brilliant, really excellently crafted and gripping. You really know how to put fear down into words. I particularily liked this line by Voldemort, "This is going to sting a bit." it really was so very evil and I would have been terrified if I'd heard voldemort say that to me. It has only made me wonder all the more about what is to come next in this story. I really can't wait, and it was such a treat to read two updates back to back :) Well done :)
Author's Response: Hihih, guess what? You made me want to write this story again. :) I've been so busy lately and I've just had no time to think about this one. But now, I'm all excited about it. I even read the last two chapters just because you reviewed them. :) Hih!!
I'm so extremely happy that you love this story. I'll try to update soon. It probably happens after the wedding, though. But soon after it... I hope. :) Thank you. It was a pleasure to read your wonderful reviews. As always. :) Report Review
You know what it is about this story I like so much? Can you guess? It took me a while to figure it, you make me like Draco. There is so much about that character I dislike, and yet you write him in such a way, where I believe in him in total canon, and he's better and more intricate than so many people write him. I think you give him the right amount of love and respect to his character, and I really do admire your ability to get so far into his mind. Bravo! I also love the way that you bring so much humour to the chapter, Dracos thoughts have me chuckling sometimes, its terrific fun to read. I particularily like the "You liked it" part, nice nicely done. You really do write this story fanastically Rebbeka :)Author's Response: Oh, a lovely review from Lucid. I think I've gone to heaven. :) Thank you.
I agree with you on Draco in this story. I think he's believable and loved. :) I love writing this story, because it's all about saving Draco. It's so easy to give him a voice of his own, because he speaks so loudly. :) *hugs* Thank you for reading. It means so much to me. Report Review
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