Aah all the Drastoria interaction is just so lovely here - treated to a full chapter of focus on their new, sort-of relationship. I love how you show the details which seem simple and those which seem fuzzy, hard to decide on, because sometimes they're such different ideas to mine which Astoria is unsure about, and sometimes so similar.
I love the comparisons between Draco and Astoria, too - how it's clear that they have both been thinking that they know each other, judging each other, but have come to realise that they know nothing more than the other people who judge them, too. It's nice to see them discovering more solid facts about each other because of that, such as how they both studied human anatomy once they realised their parents' beliefs were not unshakeable.
It's also nice to see them emerging into the world a bit more, under Draco's influence at least, and becoming a bit less introverted with each other, since it's felt almost surreal until now, how Astoria can move between her few places without touching spheres without anyone else. Now, it already feels as though she's becoming bound to Draco.
Your description is always so lovely and magical, but this chapter's seemed especially entrancing as you described the shift in Astoria's shifting view of herself. I do look forward to reading more! :) Report Review
eep eep this is all so wonderful! I just lurve how you're showing the snippets of their shakily-established relationship, the slowly-emerging understanding as they learn a little more about each other through the vulnerable silence. And the quote "They were learning about each other all in the wrong order, but nobody had ever said that love was a well-timed mechanism, ticking faithfully as a bomb towards detonation. They were vulnerable in their silence before the regular time, but it was all building towards the same result, the same ending place." -- (sorry for choosing the long version!) sums it all up so perfectly, giving us these bright little hints that there can be something more between them.
It's interesting to read Astoria's musings of how much imagination she has, too - we're never sure if she is creating hers and Draco's relationship all in her head, or if she is reading it all perfectly. Her creeping doubts of if she's looking for love in the wrong places keep me rooting for them more than if it was just laid out nicely, too - you've made the romance into this tantalising mystery :D
I do like Draco's characterisation thus far, too. He's downtrodden and not in a great place, but you've given him a routine and hope, so we still cling onto his getting better and will Astoria to talk to him.
I do like how it's not written in a set timescale of "last Wednesday this happened and tomorrow I went here" because the vague drifting of time matches the attitude of Astoria and did I mention that I love the style and progression of this story? Because I do :) Report Review
Draco! Ooh I do like how he's been woven in and out of this chapter, a small feature of Astoria's life, and how his appearance triggered more realisations about herself - that she didn't like people, that she was unused to human interaction. It just shows the small effect he's already having, and triggering shippy feels too~
I like knowing more about Astoria's life, too. Her routine and what she likes to do and where to go show us just as much as her thoughts can, and the way she goes between the library and the Leaky demonstrate her lack of human interaction. The way you describe her thrill at not knowing if she's staying or going, but knowing she can't really go, are also subtler hints to her character that I love.
Ahh Hannah's married? :D You've characterised her so well already as the kind woman who wants to help Astoria where she can but isn't sticking her nose into everything. She's just lovely, and I do hope Neville pops in at some point ;)
The way her potential interest in love and her emotions are described are very different to how I've seen them written before, but it still feels just as romance-y and emotional as other, more plain-reading stories - just more magical (if this all makes sense). Though the cliffhanger is mean, it's definitely worked ;) Report Review
I know I appear to have gotten into the habit of saying this, but I LOVE THIS ALREADY. It's magical and winding, with all the descriptions so beautifully laid out that it's easy to lose yourself in Astoria's world.
The opening scene was lovely. It painted a picture of Astoria's past and showed us how she was ever searching for something bigger, how she didn't want to hold onto anything except that. I loved having her thought train described, because we could begin to see how she functioned, which is often harder to get a handle on - but with your Astoria, I already feel as though I've read a novel about her.
The scene with Hannah was also lovely, because you compared the two and how different yet similar they were, as well as showing us more about how Astoria handled herself with her peers. I liked the details about how the marking of time's passage (ie. clocks ticking) irk her.
Your flow is gorgeous, your characterisation brilliant, and I cannot wait to read more about this romance that Hannah has declared she is on a quest for! Report Review
EEP THAT ENDING WAS FABULOUS! I do feel sorry for Rose and everyone who didn't know the truth up til now, but you wrote Rose so humourously at the end, that I exploded into a fit of giggles :D
Resuming the natural order for reviewing - I did love the crazy journey to the DOM with Pickwick Hornby, because apart from depicting perfectly what their mission into the afterlife will be like (chaotic), the planning that Hornby did went so very wrong when confronted with the reality of his A Team - we can see more clearly how they will all mesh together as a team. You mentioned that there was a lot of characterisation going on, but I love it! We need it so we can get a feel for who's who and how they will affect the A team :)
Draco and Astoria are here! Eep they're two people I didn't expect to see, but I enjoyed their cameo roles enormously. You've written them so well, I think, especially since you've had to almost work backwards (Scorpius is like this ergo...). Astoria was exactly the mum I'd imagined her to be, caring but seemingly forgetful, and Draco with his fake tan and abrasive attitude - you've made them almost a parody of themselves, and I love it, not least because of Harry's reactions to Draco's questions. The subtlety of him almost calling Draco 'Malfoy' and being curt engaged your brain, and I loved that!
IRMA GOURD, ERMAHGERD. Such a brilliant, brilliant name, and I am very interested to see what happens if/when the Team comes back with unearthly beauty too~ It's a brilliant plot twist, though I do so want to see what Irma will be doing to help the team!
Also, the details about sparkly Cedric? Highly amusing ;) althought Herbert's strange prophecy! Makes me wonder if Percy will fail at his job of making peace... Brilliant start to Book II, in all, and I am very excited for the update :D Report Review
Oooh this was surprisingly exciting for an intermission, and I love it! Everyone was assembling and it's a nice sort of build-up to the next sequence of events - brief respite before the next action picks us up.
It was strangely lovely to see more of Harry in this new environment, since it's been a time since we last saw him in action and a lot has changed in his world. You have him written magnificently in-character, and I love the little snippets of his relationship with the others in the team that we see (alright, largely poor Hugo, the accidental comic on occasion).
I did so love some of Hugo's observations while he made the sort of transformation to his 'true self' - the leader and adventurer, which you portray so subtly that we take it for granted that he is happier in this sort of role.
I'm interested to see how the new Ministry officials will affect the team, too - who will storm out in a temper first? (Probably Cedric, and then accidentally propel himself into the as-yet-nonexistent Second Realm... on a side note, I adore how imagination-stimulating this story is, because at the end of each chapter there are so many possibilities on what could happen next, and I love to spend time imagining what might occur!)
Poor Ron and Harry - I really don't envy them having to tell Hermione about Hugo, but I wonder if she will react like her daughter did in 'Adventure' when the trio returned, or if she will do something totally unexpected :D I'm very excited for Book II to begin officially now! Report Review
PLAN!! Omigosh with every chapter I see more and more why this won the "Most Convoluted Plot" Diadem, because the plot develops every chapter and I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHERE IT IS GOING.
You've brought together all the post-announcement sections brilliantly into this secret group; everyone has a job, and I LOVE how perfect they all are for the jobs! Like Muriel for bringing together the other Heads, and leaving Flitwick to sort out bedrooms? So clever :D And the adventure troupe for travelling to Ghostlandia - it's a massively exciting plot progression and I can't wait to see what happens 8D
Ahha the characterisation too! With every chapter the characterisation of everyone gets even more addictive, such as Hugo's on/off perceptiveness and little comments (preach, sistah!) which really carry the action forward, to Marjie's long-winded explanations. I love seeing more of her and Rose, and how they all bounce off each other and know when to help each other out (like Neville stopping Rose from shouting, Hugo trying to help his Uncle) - they're acting like a team already :D
And yay for using Hugo as Secret Keeper! It's so lovely that he's getting recognition for his previous adventure from some of the people who matter most to him, and now he's going to be in another one with them all - DOM training sounds scary but cool O.O I do wish that Ron acknowledged his kids a bit more, although I guess he's on a big mission thing :) And MORE NEVILLE/SCORPIUS BROMANCE! Shared sheepish looks! I am unbelievably excited about getting the 'Adventure' trio back together 8D
I can't wait to begin reading Book II, because with travelling to Ghostlandia, DOM training, and Muriel's attempts at peace talks, it's all extremely addictive and I just want to read it all so much :3 Fabulous wrap-up for Book I! Report Review
ALL HAIL THE GATHERING OF COOL AND IMPORTANT PEOPLE FOR SHENANIGANS! It's all so very exciting because all through the chapter, the characterisation and events have been building up until we're desperate to know what's happening - but the ending is so brilliant because it's all cliff-hanger-y now and everything is about to begin all over again!
It's so brilliant to watch all the different jigsaw pieces slot into place for another big scene, but starting out with Percy and Muriel was a stroke of genius, because they're both such accidentally-comic characters. You wrote the reactions of them both to each other so well, with Muriel relishing her evil news and Percy slowly realising this, that I could picture it all so perfectly and sort of wanted to cackle along evilly with Muriel :P
I love seeing more details of slightly-older-Hugo, too, with his unicorn appreciation and need to prove he's had a Shining Moment. You show his thought processes and how he works really nicely - without overstating every move he makes, just having Neville wonder about him a bit and show some less logical thoughts of Hugo's. It makes Hugo seem a lot more real and relatable.
And Rose and Marjie! I love how they're becoming more friendly, it makes a lot of sense but is also squeeably cute and I just want to be both of them :3 Also, I love this line - inevitably, Hugo seemed to be speaking to her even when he wasn't around. It just reminds me that Rose and Hugo ARE still closely related, and think more like each other than impressions might lead us to believe :)
But there's so much excitement now that Rose and Marjie have accidentally helped to call a large meeting (late at night? I love it, with all these shenanigans seeming much more exciting when they're at night, and Amos' observation - You Hogwarts bunch have the worst timing - also adds much humour). I can't wait to find out what the problem is with Madam Maxime and the suspicious article they found! Report Review
Aah so much excitement already! I loved you showing the after-effects of the excitement-filled night before, because it really helped the message to sink in that the Tournament is going ahead 8D I feel so much as though it's all happening to all of us who read it, you're just describing it all so beautifully!
Poor Percy, for starters - it was nice to round off the night in a new chapter, because it reminded us what was happening to them still, and the comical note was a lovely way to end the night! I did feel sorry for poor Percy, who does like to feel so above Flitwick's merry ideas, but really... isn't. Your characterisation of the weary man is just brilliant, and I can't help thinking that he's spot-on :D
Ooh the reaction in the Great Hall the next morning - you had it all so perfect! I love how you've given Hogwarts a spark of childish merriment that reflects Hugo's attitude to everything, and the food fight was just another fantastic detail which makes me want to join in so much! Your descriptions are always so lovely, too, and Hugo's trek through the corridors smelling badly, debating fangirls, and changing his mind about what he needs to do - it's all very vivid and easy to see in your head :)
YAY for more Neville and Scorpius! eep there is so much excitement going around, but I love how you show that they know to distance themselves from it for self-preservation. It's sad that they can't join in as much, though I do have a feeling that circumstances may arise in which they are needed ;)
I am verrry excited now to find out what will happen in Amos' treaty talks with the Greenlandic Minister, how they will involve herds of elk, and what will happen to Hugo before he gets to Greenhouse Seven :D Eep you write too brilliantly and with too fantastic a plot for me to remain placid! Report Review
EEP SO MUCH ADVENTURE ALREADY! This will really be a huge ramble of a review~
Firstly - Cedric came up with that speech, when he wasn't supposed to, all by himself? :D Ahh he's so Hufflepuff - and it's such a cute detail that he would ruin their plan with a helpful speech, that in the end turned out to be of more use!
And Rose - only she could ever quibble with Percy about a statement-opener. I love Hugo's thoughts on his sister, because they seem very perceptive and he is used to his sister, but still vaguely exasperated. The original plan she had was fantastic, because it was so simple yet still had holes in it (such as, how can you threaten to hurt a ghost?)
Marjie was fabulous, I am rapidly wanting to be Marjie when I grow up ;) The way that she could step in and use all her knowledge and 'thesaurus language' to disguise the fact that she's shamelessly manipulating the Minister to bring back the Tournament is brilliant. I adore how she continues her persuasion with all the input of the others, using their points to back up her own, and generally treating it as a panel debate!
All the little Scorpius/Neville/Hugo bits are so lovely, I keep going back to find them. Like Scorpius calming Rose down, and how he originally saw that manic look of hers when he had to anger her out of realising their secret! And Hugo trying to ask Neville what to do when everyone is arguing, but not getting there in time. It just keeps the 'Adventure' bromance alive, but has let AIF become separate and not just a follow-up :D
AND AMOS AGREED! 8D WOOHOO, TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT HERE WE COME! I am ridiculously excited that it is happening now, and cannot wait to find out what Madam Promfrey will do when she cannot find students sad enough to force-feed chocolate :D Report Review
YAY, MIDNIGHT ESCAPADES~ This was particularly fabulous, and I love how everyone all came together with different resources for this one purpose. It was all very exciting, and I just wanted to be a part of it so much - you really made me feel like I was in the thick of it with them!
The scene in the cellar was fabulous - I adored Flitwick's mastery of suspense, how even he gasped at the revelation - and how Marjie kept sending Hugo looks that he couldn't quite interpret. It really felt very exciting and made me extra eager to set off in search of an answer to this problem!
Oh, I do feel sorry for Neville and Scorpius - being called out by Hugo in the middle of the night for a random meeting with the Minister for Magic - and eventually being told by Hugo that he just wanted them there. Hee I know exactly what he means, though, when he said it didn't feel like an adventure without them! And Scorpius working as an assistant to Neville is a stroke of genius :D
Poor Cedric, being tied up in a sack and then left in his Dad's office to be ignored and then eventually getting to say his huge speech. The set-up for it all was brilliant, and it was good to see more of Amos Diggory too :D I just can't wait for what will happen next, what the Minister will say to Cedric's request! Report Review
Ooh so much Ghostly Cedric in this chapter! I loved learning all about what must have happened to him, because I'd never thought that he'd have 'stayed on' to become a ghost. All the details about how little he knows and how Hugo is still trying to work out who he is add to the atmosphere magnificently :D
And Greenland! The Cold War began because of an elk being set on fire?! It's great to learn as Cedric does of what happened to spark off this war, and why the Tournament would have been so good to reduce the frosty relations with them. As I learn more, I can't help getting even more curious as to how it will all fit in together :D
But Marjie! She's back! I do love seeing her again after last seeing her asking Hugo to the Yule Ball in 'Adventure'. Her and Hugo's relationship always seems so real and brilliant because of it. I do look forward to the moment when she helps Hugo realise exactly who Cedric is, though :D
Rose and Percy! I do hope they're here to discuss how to use Cedric to get the Minister to change his mind, with Percy negotiating and Rose reporting. I love them both so much, and I do so hope that through Rose, Scorpius comes back onto the scene at some point! Report Review
Ohh I know you said there was little plot development in this chapter, but I loved it (again! I think I just love every chapter to pieces!) because of all the character development 8D
I love getting to know Cedric again! You write his character in-canon from when we last knew him - habit of abiding curfew and all - but we can still see how ghost land has affected him. I won't lie, I do picture him as spending time in Cliodna's Clock for the ghost town, but I love how he's forging his own new life here, with echoes of his old one - such as Madam Pomfrey and Flitwick appearing!
POPPY POMFREY, SCARY CHOCOLATE HEALER~ I love how she's so desperate to help Hugo and force-feeds him sweets; she's like a strange fusion of the Child Snatcher and the Cookie Monster XD She's a wonderful addition to the story, though I am moste excited about how she will become pertinent to the plot :)
THE ELVES HAVE A MINIATURE MAGICAL KINGDOM! I wonder if the baby unicorns ever go there? Again, you've brought in that special touch of b'aww-SQUEE-type magic that just makes me want to live there so much :3 Report Review
HUGO. FLITWICK. HAGRID. ADOPTED BABY UNICORNS FROM 'ADVENTURE' ~ So many feels in the first part! I love how you wrote Hogwarts' reaction to the lack of Tournament, the fact that even Flitwick couldn't anticipate this abject depression made it seem all the more profound.
I loved how you wrote the different Houses' and teachers' reactions, too - it made it seem a more personal experience, as well as a disaster on a crowd scale. Although I love how you've characterised Hagrid as degenerating into more of a creature over the years – his speech was absolutely perfect! It had such a wonderful combination of wanting to laugh at Hagrid's words, and put on a brave/noble face because of the loss for the students. I just feel very involved with it, the way you write it.
Also the baby unicorns are gorgeous and I love them and please can Hogwarts raise an army of unicorns to welcome the Greenland elks? And maybe feed them all Ghosted Flakes, because that was a brilliant pun?
But I loved Cedric and Hugo's interaction in the bathroom! Cedric was suitably caring, but mysterious and clever (and sad) too. I love how you write Hugo's thought processes, too, because it means that we get to see them both in different lights and why Hugo does things the way he does. Hee I can't wait to see how he'll react when he realises that this ghost is the reason the Minister cancelled the Tournament :D or how Cedric will react to the news! I'm just very excited about what will happen in general; how Hugo will pull everything together to make it work for him. Report Review
Oh my goodness, this chapter - I didn't know whether to laugh or groan for poor Percy, as Flitwick uncovered the botch of matters he'd made. I absolutely love how you described Percy's shock and realisation at each new revelation, because it really gave us a feel for how much it means, since we're not used to this Greenland-hated, Flitwick-led atmosphere yet (well, perhaps Flitwick being in power is a little less foreign since he was there to awkwardly patch things over in 'Adventure').
You characterise both the characters so well throughout, and I feel so sorry for both of them! You described them so I could picture them so well, and their interaction seemed spot-on. I so love Percy being Head of International Magical Co-Operation :D He's perfect for it, and his reprimanding of Flitwick made me laugh so much, because they were in such a 'naughty child being told off' situation!
I can't wait to find out where you take it from here, too, since all these new problems set out before us and Percy need sorting out - the Triwizard Tournament happening after all when the Minister is so against it, Greenland needing their elk being hired out (which I look forward to - the world needs more Flitwick riding elk). I just hope the man for job appears on the scene soon! :D
I also loved the little mentions of Rose and Percy's family - they were just nice reminders that the Weasleys are all in the background, a part of what is to come whether they like it or not. I hope we see more of her in this, too! Report Review
Hee I absolutely love this already! Amos Diggory is just a FABULOUS choice for Minister for Magic, but because you're describing his mirth and he'd never seemed much of an irrational man in the books, we're left wondering exactly why the other four people before him - including PERCY, who I already love your characterisation of, and cannot wait to see more of him - are so bewildered at this.
The little trail of hints you leave us really add to the excitement! Like how they're each head of the schools who were in the past Triwizard Tournament (though I'm not sure I'd have immediately picked that up if it weren't for the HC :D ), and how Amos is finding it so funny they even bothered to ask him something to do with the Tournament, which I now am dying to find out :D
Eep Lily you write the adventurous atmosphere so well! Even if someone didn't know that this was the beginning of the 'Adventure' sequel, the almost tangible excitement and want to know what happens next would be telling enough!
Also - I love the use of 'tom-foolery', since it sums up Hugo's attitude to so many things; even if he isn't here, I suspect that he will be popping up in this problem very soon 8D I can't wait! Report Review
Oooh this was so brilliant, Helen!! All the clues and evidence were put together brilliantly, and I did love a bit of different-POV-ing, even though Cornick and Bennett are so brilliant and I already want to squee about them :3 It was a really clever idea for a murder mystery, and I am very very interested to see where it will all go! :D Report Review
This was such a great first chapter! I've never actually read a magic school story not set in Hogwarts, and being British, I'm pretty unfamiliar with Kiwi culture. However, you made it pretty easy to understand what went on, and I already find Adelaide really easy to relate to - can't wait to find out what happens when Hogwarts visit! :)Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it, and I hope you're more familiar with Kiwi culture by the end of it :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
This was so brilliant! :D I've always wondered what happened to poor Baruffio who's mentioned so briefly in PS and I thought you retold it magnificently. His characterisation was real enough that you could understand his performing a Hover Charm incorrectly, and you made what was in the end a rather gory tale highly amusing.
The fact that it was because of sweets that a boar appeared was enough to make me laugh out loud, and the little details - like the wand actually belonging to his grandmother, and how nobody minded the extra Hufflepuff points when he managed a spell - really made it all come alive. I absolutely loved it all :DAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I loved the idea of a Baruffio fanfic, and I loved writing down all those details and stuff! Report Review
ANNON, THIS WAS SO LOVELY AND SO SAD :'( I probably should have picked a better time to read it than when I got home from the local care home...you just described all the symptoms so well, and it really felt as though I was drifting away with Mary, never quite sure of who's who any more D:
Your characterisation of all the characters was fantastic. It must have been so difficult to write 1st-person POV for someone whose mind is so confused, but you did it so beautifully! It really made me feel like a bewildered old lady, trying to remember the facts that slip by me.
And your description of the memories, how they interwove with the present to confuse it all, they were so amazing! I felt genuinely turned around, all unsure in the head, and feeling helpless. You wrote the feeling of helplessness so well, it really came across in the piece and reached out to me.
And Arthur - you showed his love for Mary so perfectly, so completely, how they would have fitted together so easily once, and now were split apart and he was trying to bring her back when he could. It was so sad to see him from Mary's POV too, especially for that last heart-wrenching line - Forget me, Arthur, I think. Please just forget me- like I have already forgotten you. It just made me tear up :(
The "ways to die" bit was really original - and really sad, because the way each way to die was almost a metaphor for something more ordinary that felt multiplied in Mary's eye. And the way she wanted to die was just heart-stabbingly sad :'(
In a weird way, I was reminded of two of Helen's characters, and it almost added an extra layer of meaning. Firstly, Mary MacDonald - this is obviously a different Mary, but since Helen's Mary never made it past 16, it made your Mary's slow descent into death somehow even more tragic because she made it that far into life but still went early, and not on her own terms. Secondly, Jenny reminded me a bit of Euan's wife Jessica in Azkaban - that acceptance of a painful mental situation, and trying to brush it off and turn it into a you-hate-me-you're-deliberately-hurting-me situation to hide the pain :( So it made her extra-real, in a way, since the clarity of Jenny in Mary's RL had been blurred by the memories.
It was just so beautiful, all of it; there was such a sadness to it all from putting yourself in her place, and seeing it all muddle together as she had to ask Arthur over and over why she was coming to St Mungo's... and the realisation that she will stay there, asking just that, for the rest of her life... it made me cry :'(
You have so much talent for description and characterisation, Annon! And this is so wonderful in its evokation (?) of tears and sadness, 100/10 (wait, you can't go to 100? damn). Please never stop writing!
~LottieAuthor's Response: ASDFGHJKL I LOFF YOU.
-before i continue, please note this response will be utter drivel and a lot of squeeing- :3
so much love and nutella coming your wayy
it was difficult to write a story where the main character was losing her mind, and especially as it was from her point of view, i have to say. but somehow i just managed to find the right words to get that feeling of helplessness you described and i really have no idea how i did it, and if i tried to do it again i'm pretty sure i couldn't. that's the worrying thing. whenever i write something i'm vaguely happy about, I'm always convinced i could never write it again! O.O
but enough about my silly insecurities. :)
The "ways to die" thing was completely spontaneous, and to be honest the one-shot would definitely work without it, but i just thought it was a nice way to divide up the scenes? :)
You're right about jenny being like Helen's jessica, actually! I think the part where jenny slams the door is when you can see the resemblence most clearly. hmm, interesting..
Meh, thank you thank you thank you
(love you) Report Review
THEY'RE STILL IN JAIL D8 D8 D8 MEEP! JENNEH, YOU ARE JUST THE MASTER OF ADVENTURE AND ACTION AND MYSTERY AND HUMOUR EVEN IN DARK PLACES. So many feels!! *throws self on ground and sobs*
And there are so many hints and plotty bits and threads and I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT WILL LEAD ANYWHERE. I only have time to be overwhelmed by your awesomeness. SO MUCH STUFF, like how will Carrow being told by Harry link in? Why is beeping Hugo not there? Who slipped Rose's lockpicks in to her?
Plus what have they been doing in there? I'm thinking probably not just idly chit-chatting, since Dom did promise to bust them out and Rose has her lock-picks, but THERE'S SO MUCH SUSPENSE. And the coldness (figurative and literal) of the ending really added to the chilly scaredness of what's going to happen next.
I love how you've described everyone as staying in their usual roles, though! It really gives us a sense of camaraderie, though Carrow's bit was even more confusing than usual. I really want his backstory 8| Author's Response: *picks up crying Lotteh and soothes her with a review response*
I'm so so so sad I can't really answer your questions, especially when they are so delicious :P hopefully, though, I shall be tying up all the plotty bits and hints and threads by the stories end, so everything should be awesome. Kinda. :P
I can't give it away though! Also, I tried to make them all still be in their own roles! So YAY! Thanks for your beautiful reviews, Lottie *hugs*
SO MUCH EXCITEMENT. SO MUCH PAIN. IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO STAY AND WRITE THIS WHEN I WANT TO READ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SO BADLY! (Especially since my laptop /officially/ hates you and deleted my first attempt at a review on this chapter, YAY~)
THE BREAK-IN. WAS. AWESOME. It was such a clever idea to have the Fraternity hiding the exit key in plain sight - as a literal key - which Rose could work out! And the time-limit really ramped up the excitement and confusion and FLAIL FACTOR. Plus it was good to meet James again, and see more of Scorpius!
And Rose, y she so awesome? At getting information especially? Teehee Molly's report was fabaroo and then that contrasting with what the security bloke said, I was just wondering why some of the stories matched up until SHIZ WENT DOWN IN THE NIGHT D8
omgomgomg it was absolutely fantastic writing when you built up Rose's annoyance at her phone - wait, no, Scorpius' phone - why are they ringing - HOLY SHI- - HUGO - BETRAYAL - THEY'VE GOT HER. There were just so many feels and emotions and ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOP
^that was me becoming a big blob of squees and derps
SO IMMA READ ON NOW OK, TOO MUCH LOVE OVERWHELMING ME. Oh and I got my lil Gryff sister reading this too [/randomness]Author's Response: Hello again! :D I am very flattered that your laptop still classes myself and Helen together xD
I'm glad you liked the break-in, and the break-out; I was a bit unsure of Rose's plan to start with, but I'm glad you like it, it's growing on me too. And James and Scorpius *swoon* :P
Molly's report was pretty fun to write, and OHMYGOSH YES. Stuff went doown xD I can't possibly reply to the awesomeness that is the next bit of your review :P Squees and derps for the win :D
Thanks so much for the review, and I'm so glad you've recommended Hat! I'll keep a look out for her in the CR, thanks! :)
OMG THIS CHAPTER STARTED WITH A BUFFY REFERENCE~~ So many feels even before I got past the title!! It was all so brilliant, with apology cupcakes and Fred about to make things happen for once (maybe saving Anjali's family fortunes?)
AND THERE'S A NEW ALLIANCE WITH SCORBEAUS TOGETHER! *SQUEES* Yay!! I just want them to create it already and start inventing again... but so much suspense from Scorpius following his father's men instead :O BOO CLIFFHANGERS.
But bring on the action! :DAuthor's Response: IT'S ACTUALLY A GENERAL IDIOM (said by a conductor?) BUT YES, I DO KNOW IT FROM BUFFY 8D NEW ALLIANCE WITH FEEELINGSS~~
Actually I half-lied because I'm not sure how much action there is next chapter BUT ALL THE ACTION PRETTY MUCH EXCEPT FOR TWO CHAPTERS OR SO UNTIL THE END :3 Report Review
SO MUCH EXCITEMENT AND SADNESS... SO MANY FEELS~~ Ohh I love all the planning/adventure bits, but the injuries and death add this deadly element to the whole thing which remind us about how it's not just a game :'(
It's so sad about Teddy and Victoire's baby, I just hope so much that they will be able to channel this in a better way somehow D: Bo, but it was a good idea of Rose's to carry on with the plan anyway, it throws the baddies off their trail if they go ahead with it! (I hope, anyways...)
SO MUCH EXCITEMENT WITH THE DIVING, though I wonder how the Fraternity/Carrow will use the water and vaults - if they'll even know the Clan are there - and if not, who didn't know! I love seeing everybody's jobs in action because you make them all gel smoothly together to get the job done. (I'm totally trying not to sing Bob The Builder after that last sentence, though).
But Scorpius! Why does Lorcan not like him?! I'm very glad Rose brought him along, and that she's trusting him - it makes it all more interesting when there's so much tension to work around and create awkward moments in - and now they're trapped inside the vault... yeesh, good thing Lily's a criminal mastermind :P
SO MUCH AWESOMENESS, JENNEH, AND I LURVE IT :3Author's Response: OH, THE FEELS! :3 Unfortunately, it's not a game. *mimes dying dramatically*
Teddy and Victiore's baby- that was horrible to write, it really was :( it didn't even get a chance at life, and I really hated doing that.
But, yeah, OMG DIVING. Ro-ohse Weasley (can she fix it) Ro-ohse Weasley, (yes she can! ish). Thanks for that tuune. xD
And I'm afraid I know exactly why Lorcan hates Scorpius, and I'm not telling you why >:D
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Depressingly, my computer deleted my first review of this chapter, which it only ever does for Helen's stories besides, therefore it knows how much I LOOOVE this story! Just go along with my awesome logic; I'm sure my laptop is magical, ok?
ANYWAY, LILY! DOM! SCORPIUS! ROXANNE! MORE WEASLEYS! AND SO MUCH PARANOIA I AM STARING CREEPILY OUT MY WINDOW AT ANYONE I CAN SEE. It's so awesome, all this secret agent and info stuff, but I can't help wondering if Lily's hiding something in all this mess, if it's her way of protecting documents more importantly than in a safe. Is she leading the Fraternity? And what's up with Dom?!
I did feel sorry for poor Rose hiding away from her family :( Although it was really cool, quick thinking, to have her shielding the Homonum Revelio! And then locking herself in a cupboard? It was like ninja!Rose :D
AND SHE KNOWS THERE'S A MOLE, THIS IS GOOD. But bad because so much suspicion! Eep I do hope more Lorcan and Scorpius come into it soon, especially with this death note, which makes me think about that phone call from the first chapter (or two, I cannae remember) and wonder about Scorpius again.
IT'S JUST VERY EXCITING~Author's Response: I'm flattered by your computer's mischievousness :P
The Weasleys and the paranoia! OMG. *stares creepily* Lily has hidden something in the mess, and Rose found it. But, did you? :P
thief!Rose is a ninja, which is amazing.
Thanks for the review, I love that you think it's exciting :D Report Review
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