Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
474 Reviews Found

Review #76, by AphorideAnd if they fall (as Lucifer fell): A Murder

14th February 2015:
Hey, Leonore! :) Happy Valentine's Day - hope you're enjoying it with Mr Leonore (too soon? :P Eh, but I dunno what else to call him... tempted to just use Dave, but I dunno which is funnier... huh) ;)

Anyway, so I just had to stop by on this story - I mean, it's exactly my kind of thing. Like, I don't know if you realised, but all you need is a pretty blonde gay boy in here and it's pretty much exactly my kind of story (I have no idea why they work their way into everything. Swear to god, I don't know...) :P But yeah - Founders (totally my thing) and murder mystery (again, totally my thing). So. Cool. :D

I love the way you've started this - it's such a brilliant start to a story, with the introduction of the main characters (and I hope we find out so much more about them all! So excited to see where you go with them! :D), and the murder, too... and potential red herrings as to who the murderer is - since everything in this chapter suggests either Killian or Helena as the murderer, which is clearly not the case (or is it? :P But nah, it'd be too obvious...).

I love the use of the description and the details in this, too - with the inclusion of religion, mention of Confession and not revealing the things people tell you during it, and mention of the Founders teaching classes. It's so lovely, you know - so great! And all the details really bring out the sense of the era, you know :)

I'm so excited to see where you're going to go with this - totally favouriting this and following this as it goes on! I really wanna see what happens, find out who did it and so on... I'm totally certain that Helena's secret is that she's either gay or bisexual, and Killian and Rowena both don't know. hm... don't know what else is going to come out about the other characters... :)

I'm so excited about this story, though - I love it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

Oh, I'm single now - my boyfriend and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. I actually spent the evening playing a gig for a wedding, which was great fun.

By the way, my rule for review responses for this story is that I will not comment on anything plot-related, or else I WILL end up accidentally giving things away. I love reading deductions though!

Hmm... pretty blond gay boy. That could be hard to work in, due to this being set in a, um... not particularly progressive society, so pretty blond gay boys are going to attempt to hide their sexuality. You never know though. ;)

I decided for a murder mystery we need to get to know the characters because, after all, the reader needs to be able to guess who the murderer is! Introducing the characters and putting in place the first clues is important.

The initial idea for this story was "founders murder mystery" - I love founders and there aren't very many multi-chapter founders era, especially non-romance ones. And writing founders is so much fun! If a little research-intensive. I spent so much time trying to find out about the Celtic Church! Trying to figure out the similarities and differences between the Church of England today and the Catholic Church 1000 years ago. But yeah, I'm a little obsessed with random details. ;) It's good to hear other people don't mind - even like - that detail - worth the hours of research! (OK most of the "hours of research" were spent getting sidetracked by interesting stuff but you know... :P )

Thank you so much! I'd better get on with finishing chapter 2 of this, hadn't I? *makes mental note to do so next time I manage to get writing time* Hopefully this lovely review's managed to push me to get back to it!

~ Leo xx

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Review #77, by AphoridePicking Up The Pieces: One

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day - or Singles Appreciation Day, if you prefer - whatever fits best for you ;)

I hope you're okay with me stopping by on this, but since it's a single review, I thought it would be better off - and I love sibling-relationship-centric stories, especially ones involving sisters, seeing as I'm a sister myself.

I love this. I'm so disappointed I didn't find this before, but so pleased I found it now - at least I found it! :D

This is a beautiful story, with the two characters and the lovely writing and the gorgeous, bittersweet plot. The way you write this is so evocative, you know - you pull the reader into it and the emotions are so good and so strong, you make me feel them and feel for the characters. Plus, your use of first person is so so wonderful here - it really makes it seem like the characters are talking directly to you, you know, or like I'm reading their diary or a web-blog or something where this has been written down. There's this lovely, intimate almost sort of sense to it which I just love :)

I love the way you've characterised both Victoire and Dominique, too. I like how different they are as people - siblings are incredibly different to each other, usually, and sometimes people seem to miss that - and how they both react differently to things. The whole theme of Victoire normally being the one to look after Dom and look out for her is so, so lovely - and it's definitely true that as an older sister you do feel you have to (I have two younger sisters, so I can vouch for this personally ;D) - and how then it's reversed with Vic not being able to cope and Dom having to help her. It's such a lovely, generous, familial moment and I adore it. I'm a real sucker for anything family-related, haha.

I have to say, as well, that I love how it was with Vic a series of small things which just built up on her until she couldn't cope. Yeah, big things get you down and make life difficult, but I liked how you showed that sometimes, things can just snowball. It's surprisingly easy, in a way, to lose control of your life in that sense.

This is such a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot and I'm sorry if this review is a bit short, but there's nothing more I can say other than repeat how much I love this story so much :)

I'm so so glad you stopped by! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!
First off, I just need to say thank you for such a wonderful review! Reading this made me so, so happy! I had no idea that I could write something that would affect people like this story has, so thank you for telling me that this felt real. I don't have any sisters, so I could draw from real life, and had to go from relationships that I have with friends and cousins that feel like what I would imagine a sisterly bond could feel like.
I'm so glad you liked show I characterized Vic and Dom! For some reason, as soon as I started writing them I just knew that Vic was the responsible one and Dom was more of a free spirit. I got a really strong sense of who they were as people, so writing them came really easily to me.
I know that lots of little things can stress me out, especially when I can't see a way to sort through them and stay calm, so I wanted to show Vic in a similar situation.
Again, thank you so much for such a lovely review. It really warmed my heart reading this!
Cassie :)

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Review #78, by AphorideHurricane Luna: They Scorch in a Desert

14th February 2015:
Hey, Beth! :) Happy Valentine's Day - and no worries about not being single! ;) Most of my friends all have partners and my parents have been married for nearly thirty years straight, so I get it ;) Hope you're enjoying the day - and that your guy is doing all the right things (rose, etc.)! :)


As you can tell, I'm a little upset over that! I liked them as a couple... I was waiting for him to say those three little words, and now he's alone in Africa and he's upset Luna... still, I'm holding on to the idea that they're going to get back together later... :P

Still, I do like how you portray their relationship, how their differences don't always mesh well together and they can get on each other's nerves and so on. It's so real, you know? it really rounds out their individual characters too, and develops them so well as people. I love how Luna is almost too understanding, and how Rolf gets so short with her when she scares away the animal (I can't spell its name :P). They're real, human flaws and I love it! :)

As usual, your details and writing is so gorgeous! I love the little things in this story so much - the goggles from Xenophilius Lovegood, and the description of the creature and the mentions of their journey and so on beforehand. It's so lovely! :)

You know I love this story, even despite what you did to Rolf and Luna ;) Imma have to find you in the BvB soon to catch up properly! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there Aph!

Aaah! You've gotten to *this* chapter. Welp, ummm - I'm sorry? But it had to be done. What's a good romance without a little drama?

Haha - I think they both love each other, they just haven't been able to figure it all out yet. Rolf does need a good kick in the pants over this one. Luna is Luna and some readers haven't been as forgiving as you are :)

I'm still working on the last part of this one, so I can't give any hints yet.

Thanks so much for this review!

♥ Beth

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Review #79, by AphorideMistletoe Kisses: Mistletoe Kisses

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day, or Singles Appreciation Day if you're single ;)

So I couldn't resist stopping here, because I just read a pretty dark story and a good bit of fluff after something dark is always great! ;)

I love the way you set this up, you know. The idea of enchanted mistletoe is so brilliant, but can end up cliche, you know, so I love how this really isn't a conventional mistletoe story, with how it happens and all that kind of stuff.

Scorpius is such a great character, too. I love how he's so nervous about coming into contact with Hugo and being stuck under the mistletoe with him; it's incredibly sweet, and so true to life, too. I mean, anyone who's ever had a crush on someone knows how awkward it would be to have that happen to them... And I love as well how terrified he is of Rose, haha, she seems properly scary - the older sister I've always tried to be :P

Hugo is so cute, too! I love how after Scorpius kisses him, he's still stuck there, with his hand on his mouth like he just can't believe it - it's so sweet! :) I love as well his comment to Rose about why Scorpius was late to the prefects' meeting, how he was kissing him instead - though I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for Scorpius about that one, I imagine Rose will be reading him the riot act about dating/kissing her little brother afterwards :P

Your writing is so great, too! It really feels like a teenager is talking, you know - the voice of Scorpius is amazing and so good! Your description is so lovely, and the details in this are so gorgeous, too, with the mentions of Albus and Fred and how terrible Scorpius' day had been (haha, I loved the 'it's not teenage melodrama' thing too :P), with the bad breakfast foods and so on.

This is a lovely, lovely one-shot! I'm so glad I read it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: HELLO!!! Awww thank you! Happy valentines day to you too!! :D

I'm so glad that you picked my story to read to cheer you up after reading something dark.

Thank you! I wanted to use the cliche of mistletoe, but put my own spin on it. I'm glad that you love what I had done.

Scorpius has such a crush on Hugo, he's so adorable haha, I should write more of them either before this or after? Oh Scorpius is so terrified of Rose, I think most people are.

Hugo is struck dumb for a moment when he gets kissed. He doesn't know how to react because he's fancied Scorpius for a while himself. :D Oh yes! Rose is totally going to read him the riot act! :P Hugo has landed Scorpius right in it.

Aw thank you so so much! You are amazing for saying such wonderfully kind things. You've made my entire life!

Thank you so much Aph!!! xxx

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Review #80, by AphorideSeven--Four--One--Nine--Eight--Two (Am I a Good Man?): Chapter 1

14th February 2015:
Hi there - Happy Valentine's Day! :) Hope you're enjoying it - single or not! ;)

I loved this story - it's so creepy and dark and beautifully sobering, you know? All the angst and everything - it really makes you feel for him, in a way, and for their entire family, and how the war and things destroyed them. It's so incredibly sad.

I love the way you characterised Barty Sr, with the illusions to potential regret and how he loves his wife and doesn't really know how he feels about his son and how he feels so awkward about treating Winky nicely... it really works into what we see him doing in canon, you know? With his anger at Winky letting his son escape and all the rest.

The way you wrote Winky and his wife and the memories of his son were so good, too. Even though you didn't necessarily include all the characters in the actual fic, only by description and discussion, there was this wonderful sense of them, you know? Winky especially was so wonderful, with her being so upset about Barty Jr's incarceration and everything, crying in his room and all. So incredibly sad. It really made me feel for her.

The way you wrote this was so gorgeous, too. I loved the dark/creepy atmosphere in here, with the sense of not quite being sure what's going on, if memories are just haunting him, if he's being affected by a Dementor, or if it's something else. There's this sense, though, definitely of something supernatural and longing and grief which I just love! Your writing is incredibly evocative and you write the genre and style so well. It's a triumph of genre, truly.

So yeah, I love this - all the characterisation, the use of the flashbacks, the mood of it - it was all just so, so gorgeous. So glad you stopped by! ;)

Aph xx

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Review #81, by AphorideThe Ides of March: Melancholy were the sounds.

14th February 2015:
Hey there, Kiana! :) Happy Valentine's (Singles! :P) Day! :D

I think I've said this before, but your writing in this story, the characterisation of both Eleanor and Helena and Rowena, the plot in it - all of it is just amazing. It's so breathtaking, it's actually really hard to review, because it feels too much like I'm just repeating myself over and over again :P

Is it bad that as sorry as I feel for Helena and Eleanor, and how Helena has to get married and try then to preserve their relationship during that, I do also feel a little sorry for Rowena? There's something so sad about her constantly being so disappointed in her daughter and not understanding, even if it's unspeakably cruel to Helena :( You kinda just want to bang their heads together and make them get along, almost.

Your Helena is amazing, though. I love how romantic she is, but how angsty she is, too - though it's so realistic for the time. There really is no hope for them, and there's something so captivatingly brave about their whole romance and relationship which I just love to pieces - even more so because we know it's doomed, you know? In this chapter, I loved the way you had her practice walking the way she was instructed - for some reason, it struck me pretty deeply, as though simply by conforming to walk in the 'right way', it's a symbol of a deeper conformity and a deeper repression, almost. I have no idea if that's what you were going for, though :P

Also, the whole musing on how men and women are so different was so cool - it's one of those things which is so sensible if you think about it, haha, like it makes sense! :P Rationally, it's perfect! :)

Your writing, as always in this, is an absolute tour-de-force - your description, your dialogue, the set-up of this chapter and the entire plot overall. Especially the description. I adore the little inclusions of religion in this, and your use of colour with the blue for lies. It's so, so lovely! So evocative and so emotive, too. So, so wonderful - I can't say that enough! :)

So yeah, I love this, and I love you, and this is a wonderful story! Hope you enjoy your Valentine's Day! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura!! Thanks for this lovely Valentine's Day review, I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to get to it. :P

Aw, thank you so much! These two have definitely been among some of my favourite characters to write about as they're just so different from anyone else and you can really explore a wide range of issues with them.

I know, but as we know from canon, Helena never actually ends up married to him, but what caused her to end up in Albania is another question... I get what you mean about Rowena because though she has lots of skills, people skills is something she severely lacks and you really wish that she could work on them because then everything would be better again. Rowena does have a few surprises to come though...

Aw, thank you so much, I'm so glad that you like her as she is very close to my heart. I think that's why I like historical stories so much because unless you went by the prescribed norm, you really didn't stand much of a chance as everyone and thing were acting against you. Aw, thank you, you're definitely right about it symbolising conformity and repression and even though her mother goes outside of societal norms, she still wants her daughter to be within them.

Bahaha, I know, because the whole men are from Mars, women are from Venus is so true are a lot of the time as we really are quite different.

Aw, thank you so much! This review means so much to me as you were so kind and just ♥ ♥

I hope you had a good Valentine's Day too! :D


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Review #82, by Aphorideour reality.: Chapter Three

14th February 2015:
Hi Emily! :) Happy Valentine's Day - or Singles Appreciation Day if you're single! :P

I really, really love this story - it's such a brilliant idea and such a great alternative to the normal James and Lily and Marauders version, you know? And Dorcas is such a great character, I love her to pieces! :)

I really love how you develop her friendships with both Izzy and Marlene in particular, and the Order lot (thank god you developed a collective noun/name thing for them :P Writing 'Marlene and Lily and the Marauders' each time would be too much :P) in this - it's so great! Like, it feels like people becoming friends, you know? Like when you're put with someone to work on a project and you find yourselves becoming friends kinda because you have to, but there's more to it than that... it's so great and so realistic. Plus all of your characterisations of the people in here are amazing, so it just makes it so much better! :P

Your dialogue kills me too. I am so jealous of your ability to write dialogue. Please tell me how you do it? Pretty please? Because everything you write feels so natural, and so right, like it's something they would actually say, and there's these wonderful little witty bits, or comments which are so, so good too :)

Of course, your description is so great, too - I love the way you described the common rooms, especially! They both sound so beautiful and so nice - like I love the sound of the glass down the side of the Ravenclaw Common Room, and the windows in the Hufflepuff Common Room. I almost want them to go into the Slytherin CR soon, just so I can see you describe it :P The details you include are so, so lovely - with the nicknames and how Marlene's still writing, and the Claws all leaving a book behind when they go, it's such a beautiful tradition. I really wanna go there... :P

I love this story so much, and I'm so unbelievably curious as to where this is going to go, with the Order and Dorcas and Marlene... they need to have that conversation between them! :D I'm waiting for it! :P

Definitely not going to leave it so long before coming back next time! :)

Aph xx

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Review #83, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: Aftermath and Arrangements

14th February 2015:
Hey Mallory! :) Happy Valentine's Day - whether you're single (like me!) or not! :D

You know how much I love this story, and I've felt so bad that I've been so far behind on it, plus you updated recently, so I couldn't resist coming by - it's the holidays, so yay for free time! ;)

I love the way you have Annie here - it's so lovely with another glimpse of Hattie, and the mentions of Freddy and them all. The bit with the letters is so great - it's one of those things I can definitely idenfity with, wanting to say things which you can't in letters and emails, and thinking them instead; it's probably something most people can identify with, I think, and I love it! Plus, Annie's insults are so great, and I love the way she has a relationship with her owl - it really brings to mind a dog-owner relationship, you know? So sweet! :D

Also, I loved the flashback, with her first meeting James and a glimpse of her sister, Bea, who was such a cow! So rude... I'd never treat my little sisters like that! The thing is, I loved the scene, but the actions inside it, were so horrible - with Bea being so cruel at the beginning, with the nickname, and then James taking it up as a way to potentially impress her, because of the crush. I loved the mention of the crush too, it's such a teenage thing to do, too! :)

The details are so great, in this - I love the story of the haunted toilet plunger, haha, and the Wizflix with the Life and Times of Harry Potter. I laughed out loud at the second one - I can just imagine seeing Harry's face at the idea! :P And how she asks Sephrenia to bite Freddy, haha :D Freddy deserves it, really!

Your writing is so great in this, too - I love your description: especially the way you write the first scene, with the image of her waking up and the 'kiss' of the sunlight through the blinds - it's such a gorgeous image! :D The way you write this is so, so good - but you know I love your writing, anyway! ;)

I'm so excited to see what happens next, and I hope you have a great Valentine's Day! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Yep, it's not Valentine's Day anymore, and I'm still a single pringle. :)

I'm glad that you liked Annie and Hattie! I had so much fun writing Annie's letter to James with all of the crossed out words and stufff--it's quite cathartic, in a way. Annie loves Sephronia, even though sometimes she's annoyed by her rogue owl. :)

Bea is quite a cow, I agree. And that first meeting with James was absolutely awful for Annie, so I hope that it came across. The things some people do for love... This was one of the scenes in which I hated James for acting so awful. :/

Thank you! I tend to put several random things in my chapters, and the haunted toilet plunger was one of those. I still chuckle about it when I go back and read the chapter again. :) Wizflix and The Life and Times of Harry Potter will (hopefully) have a bigger role in one of my stories one day, because I've referenced The Life and Times of Harry Potter so many times in the upcoming chapters. It's getting to be a bit ridiculous. :D (Freddy totally deserves to be bitten, and Sephronia totally bit him.)

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I never know what to do with description, so I just try to set the scene before continuing on with the plot. I'm glad it worked! :D

Happy (two months late!) Valentine's Day! ♥

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Review #84, by AphoridePainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

13th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Dropping by from review tag!

I'm a bit of a sucker for Draco/Astoria - there's something so wonderful about the potential within them, you know, given that we know next to nothing about her or them - so I just had to stop by on this. Plus, your summary was so good, it really drew me in - as so many of your other stories did too! :)

I love the way you portray both Draco and Astoria in this, especially Draco! I love how you don't try to make him fixed, or suggest that Astoria fixed him either, after the war, but he's still struggling to move on from it - it's so true to life that, because even smaller things have huge effects on people, so it's hard to imagine what something as big as a war would do to teenagers who were in it, you know? At the same time, you've managed to give a more sensitive, less haughty and rude picture of Draco without it seeming out of character - which, I have to be honest, is pretty impressive ;) He's such a complicated soul, your Draco, and I love it - you kinda just want to hug him, haha, and tell him he'll be better, eventually.

Also, I love the way you describe Astoria in this. How she isn't beautiful, especially and how Draco doesn't see her as beautiful. It's something I think a lot of people are guilty of - making their characters beautiful, if not in general, at least to the main character or love interest (I do it all the time), so I love how you've moved away from that. It makes the whole feel of this so much more feel, and so much more emotive because there's this beautiful sense that the two of them connected on a level beyond purely physical attraction - like there's so much more than that between them. I love it :)

Just got to mention as well how I loved the lack of coyness between them, how they both couldn't hide the fact that they liked each other :P So cute!

Your writing is so gorgeous, too - I love how clean and crisp your writing was, and how emotive your writing is. Also, I love how you used present tense here - it's so effective! :) The description is gorgeous, too - it was so wonderfully used to bring out all the emotions in this, so much so that I could really feel them - it was lovely! :)

This is such a beautiful start to a story - it's gorgeous! It's so lovely! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello! :D

Oh no, I don't think a man or woman can 'fix' anyone. You have to be able to save yourself in life. I think that's part of what this story is about. They're both crumbling in different ways and they need to work through their issues and give themselves strength before they can meet each other again and be the people you see here in the prologue.

I'm guilty of doing the same thing. I either make the character awkward and she comes out this beautiful swan at the end or just beautiful up front in general but she's just Astoria. Sure she's beautiful but she has quirks, everyone does, he notices them but he accepts them and it doesn't bother him because he likes her. It's not all about looks! Heck, I think my boyfriend is pretty darn handsome but others do not agree but they say the same thing about me.

GAH! THIS REVIEW WAS WAY TOO NICE! Thank you so so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and sorry for the late response! I've been sick and busy!

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Review #85, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: The Boss and the Business Proposition

11th February 2015:
Hey Mallory! :D It's been far too long since I stopped by here, really it has... so I'm here now! :)

Okay, so I really loved this chapter - the mystery which is included in this, moving the plot so far forward, and the characterisation of Annie and Fred. It's so cool - and I'm so excited to see what happens next, who Fred's 'friends' are and what they're like, what kind of shady business he's involved in.

Your characterisation, as always, is stellar. I love Annie so much - how she's so demeaning to the men she plays against normally, because they're drunk and not very clever and utterly oblivious (which is all the better for her), and yet how she knows when not to be stupid about things and when to play along, especially with Freddy!

Freddy is amazing, speaking of him. I love how he's so creepy and so charming at the same time - it's this gorgeous duality in his character - and he's so cruel whilst being so happy, it almost makes you miss it, you know? (Which is also partially down to your wonderful writing! ;D) He's so clever and so mad, he sort of reminds me a bit of Barty Crouch Jr, you know? I'm so excited to see where you go with him - he's so fascinating :)

Your writing, as always, is so, so good - I love the way you've done it, and your dialogue is amazing. Your word choice as well is exceptional - I loved how you used diabolical and shrewd, and the casino language (hustler and so on) in it. It was so good! Plus, your description is lovely - all of it is so beautiful and so evocative, with the images and emotions it all provokes :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I loved it so much, it's so lovely! And I really, really can't wait so long to come back next time! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there! It's actually not three months later, and I'm finally answering this! :D

Fred's friends are shady, indeed. I can't wait to hear what you think of them. :) The mystery seems to increase with every new chapter, and I don't know how to stop it! It's just too fun to write like this.

Thank you! Annie is so awful to those men because they're so awful in general. And maybe they'll think twice about underestimating girls next time? Who knows... However, she does have to walk a fine line with Freddy, since he's her boss and very shady to boot. If he does something bad to her, who knows if the Wizarding World will sympathize with her? He's a Weasley and a successful businessman. She's just some girl who works for him. So yeah, that dynamic means that she has to be careful. She can definitely beat him at pool, though.

Freddy is kind of a psychopath, which is why he's so fun to write. He is a MAJOR creep, but his charm hides that sometimes. Ooh, Barty Crouch Jr! I haven't thought of that before, but you're definitely right in comparing them. Freddy will go in many places, trust me. :)

Awww, you are too, too kind. I love words, so throwing some fun ones in every now and again is what I live for. And dialogue between Annie and Freddy is different every single time. I never know what's going to happen, and while that's scary, I love it.

Thanks for swapping with me! We'll have to do it again sometime. :D


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Review #86, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: Embarrassing Moments

11th February 2015:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :)

I loved this chapter, you know - it's such a fun, lighthearted chapter, with all those lovely little bits of humour dotted around it, and it's such a difference with the first chapter, when they were at Scorpius' parents house, and how awkward that was. It was such a lovely comparison, but also kinda bittersweet, given the comparisons between their two families - it sort of also highlighted how awful it is for Scorpius with his parents.

The characterisation in this again was so good, with James and Lily, too - and Albus struggling to sleep and all that kind of thing. I especially love Lily - she's so typical of a teenager with the quick mood swings, and sudden childishness, and then all the teasing of her brother :P Ginny was so good, too, telling the kids off ;)

I really loved the humour in this, too - the little digs in there at how Scorpius was so embarrassed at being 'caught' sleeping in Albus' room (I was so convinced there was going to be a joke there, lol!), and then Lily with the 'oh that's what they're calling it these days' jokes. Dear god, it's like seeing me in written!teenager form, haha. Especially with the nickname...

Also, I forgot to mention earlier - I love how embarrassed Scorpius gets about being teased. It's a little thing, but I love it because again it kinda emphasises how his parents try to pretend the relationship doesn't exist and he doesn't have any siblings to tease him. Poor kid.

Your writing in this is lovely as usual - so emotional again, and so individual to the voices of the characters which I love. It really allows for the important bits - the sense and the feelings in this - to come through so well. The humour was so well written into it, too - can you teach me how to humour, please? :P

Thank you so much for the swap - I always love catching up on this story! (Slowly but surely ;D)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you Aph for another lovely review!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and that you find it humoristic too. I think humour is among the hardest things to write. I want Albus and Scorpius to have a good (though certainly not a perfect time) before all the troubles begin. (It's not too much of a spoiler to tell that trouble of one kind or another will turn up sooner or later...!)

Yes, I wanted to point out the differences between their families. While Scorpius's parents reluctantly accept their relationship, Albus's family fully include Scorpius. That's a great difference.

Lily is, in a way, my sister, who could be just as moody and annoying at times (some twenty years ago, she's a darling nowadays!).


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Review #87, by AphoridePride and Scorpius: Well met on the Hogwarts Express

11th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Dropping by for our review swap - and thank you so much for the lovely review you left me, it was such a great thing to get! :D

So, I have to admit that I'm secretly a pretty big Jane Austen fan (don't tell anyone, though, it'll spoil my reputation... :P), and especially Pride and Prejudice, so I just had to stop by on this one when I saw it. I've read another story with a Pride and Prejudice twist on it, but that was an AU, so it'll be so interesting to see your take on it :)

I love how right away in the first chapter you set up the whole themes of both pride and prejudice - especially the prejudice, with Rose and Scorpius' first meeting. Just like in the book, Rose is so rude to me, my gosh! Like the whole way she sneers at him, presumes things about him and thinks he's pathetic when he cries - she really has no interest in getting to know anything about him, because 'Malfoy' is enough to know... it's great, though, how when we first meet Rose we're introduced to her flaws right away (and Scorpius' too) - it doesn't make her a particularly likeable character, but it makes her a real one, you know? And real characters are always so much more interesting than perfect ones.

That being said, I'm not overly fond of Scorpius, either. I mean, I feel sorry for him and all - there's something very wrong when a kid expects to be hit by another kid simply because of what his surname is, you know? - but Rose has a little bit of a point when she thinks he's a bit of a crybaby. Then again, war and so on is always a sensitive subject, and Scorp doesn't seem to have many expectations of friends - plus, it looks like everyone's deliberately ignoring him, since he's alone in the compartment when everywhere else is full. Poor kid - tough break on your first day of school!

The relationship between Albus and Rose is so good, too - the way Albus calls her 'Rosie' and they have these little in-jokes between them, with the 'poisonous old toad' thing about Umbridge, and all that kind of stuff. It reminds me of good friends, you know, and siblings - sort of half-way in between. I love as well how they don't always see eye-to-eye on things, like over the idea of being friends with Scorpius. Again, people don't always get on with things, so it's so good! :)

I love the set-up of this chapter, too - how there's the idea that they're going to all be in Gryffindor, that (hopefully! :P or is that mean? I dunno...) Scorpius might well end up beating Rose out of the Seeker spot on the team. So many little hints and suggestions of what's going to happen in future chapters! :)

Your writing is so good, too - it's such a great writing style, so smooth and with such a great flow and pace, and you use third person pov so easily I'm almost jealous! The descriptions are lovely, but your dialogue is so strong - it's so good! :)

I'm so glad we swapped - this is such a great beginning to a story, and the Pride and Prejudice element is so gorgeous in this - and I really love this story! Gonna have to try and catch you around the forums later on! ;)

Thank you so much for both the swap and review! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: My pleasure to do a swap, especially when I get one as lovely as this in return.

I am a big fan too, naturellement. Miss Austen wrote basic templates for most (all) the ways you can write a romance: Emma is 'love was under your nose the whole time; Persuasion is 'love once lost returns'; etc, etc; and Pride and Prejudice is the ultimate template for 'hate turns to love'. It is amazing and oft copied; in fact, copied once more with my tale.

Yes, it is quite unfortunate for poor Rose because she seems to be cursed with both the Pride and the Prejudice. Scorpius has little of either. In P&P both Lizzy and Darcy had to go through their respective crises of confidence - in my tale, Rose will be going through two, one to loose her prejudice and the next to loose her pride. I am going to make it tough on the poor girl.

It is not as much that he's a Malfoy, it's more that it's just him. She has never had to deal with a boy who looks, sounds or behaves like he does. She is used to rough-housing rambunctious boys, joking and laughing and uncouth. Albus is a rare exception in her experiences and she cannot yet see the similarities between Scorpius and her favourite cousin.

They both have their flaws and, thank you, I do hope that makes them more real. Scorpius does need to grow up a bit, that's true, but he recognised Albus and thought he might have a particular grudge against him. His father has been honest with him at least and so Scorpius knows the 'evil' perpetrated by his father on both Rose's and Albus' fathers. He is almost resigned to being beaten up by them if not by more children of those whom his father wronged.

Thank you I hoped that the relationship between Albus and Rose came across as I intended. They have been so close, best friends as well as best cousins. In this story James and Lily have taken after their mother and hence the Weasleys a bit more than they have their dad. Albus is the opposite, a bit more reserved and introspective than his rambunctious siblings; I can imagine him the type (like his father was) who would quietly walk to his death knowing that it would save everyone he loved. He naturally gravitated to Rose, who is rambunctious enough, but likes to read and is far more studious than most of the rest of their cousins.

Yes their sorting will be problematic for some of them and unusual for at least two of the three. Quidditch will also be a problem, there is a whole chapter devoted to their try-outs and then a few more scenes here and there about the consequences thereof.

This praise for my writing style is really touching. I constantly doubt myself - I tend to write: one, like an engineer, bluntly and matter-of-factly; and two, a bit old-fashionedly that can stray into becoming stilted. As for my dialogue, I try and try and obviously have made inroads into what was always my weakest point.

Thank you as well,

No doubt I will catch you around the forums or the BvB challenge.


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Review #88, by AphorideHamartia: one.

11th February 2015:
Hey Lisa! :) So, I have to admit I've been eyeing this story up for a while now - the summary is so mysterious and I love stories about morally grey/ambiguous characters, especially ones which don't paint Slytherins as all evil because of their house. Basically, in a long-winded way, I've wanted to read this for a while, it's exactly my kind of story, so thank you for requesting it! :P

I think I saw a previous version of a story with the same characters, you know - the names are familiar - but, regardless, I've pretty much forgotten about the old version (if there ever even was one... :P) because this is so, so good.

(And Joey's right when he says that pretty much everything you write is amazing. Tbh, I think this is some of your best yet :D)

I love the way you start this by introducing the character, and with the little sections at both top and bottom - they're so interesting, like insights into the characters before the story itself has even really started, you know? - and it's such a clever way to do it. Amelia also seems like such a great character - I love how she's almost ashamed/afraid of her background and of what her friends would think of her if she knew the truth, and how she feels so strongly that she has to prove herself - it's such a Slytherin trait, I think. That kind of ambitious determination.

I don't think I need to tell you that your writing is amazing, but I'm going to say it again anyway: your writing is just so, so unbelievably amazing. The way you use first person in this is incredible - it just sucks the reader right in, and makes me feel like this is a private thing Amelia's telling me herself, you know? Like it's a conversation between just me and her, or like I'm reading her diary. It's so, so good - I don't even know how you do it.

Also the language - chiaroscuro is such a great word, imo - it just, I dunno, almost lives, in a way. You have this way of making me believe everything of yours I read. It's a gift.

Favouriting. Stalking (possibly :P). Loved it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #89, by AphorideChai, Zebras, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Zebras, and a Surprise

11th February 2015:
Hey there! :) I just had to stop back on this series when I saw you in the Review Tag, because it's such a brilliant series and I love them so much! :)

As before, I adore your Hannah and Neville - and I'm pretty convinced your version of Hannah, Indian background and all, is pretty likely to become canon for me. There's something so wonderfully perfect about it, that I almost kick myself for not thinking of it before :P Also, the way you write their friendship - from the mention of the flirting and laughing, and how it's sort of become their thing, you know, chai at midnight, to how she helps Neville so easily to deal with his grief and understands him so well. It's just a brilliant, brilliant rendition of friendship.

Your Neville and Hannah individually are so strong, too. I love the way Hannah is making the cake (zebra cake sounds awesome, btw!) for him anyway as a surprise, and how he sneaks up on her to talk to her over her shoulder. Plus, the whole conversation between them with Neville saying how he didn't want to be an Auror - he was so scared about it - is so true to his character in the books its almost unreal.

I have to mention the details you put in this as well, because some of your phraseology was to die for, I swear to god. I especially loved 'his shoulder drooping upwards towards his ears' (I think that was the quote...). It's such a wonderful image! :)

Your writing, of course, was so gorgeous and the use of food is so good - it's just a wonderful snapshot of life, and the simplicity of the moment makes it so much more powerful. It's just amazing.

Love it. As always.

Aph xx

Author's Response: I'm so incredibly mindblown by the love this series has received. I'm just. Ugh. Thank you. It means a lot.

Yes. Missions accomplished. Head-canon established. What more could I want? I was surprised myself by just how well Hannah worked out. She really became something else when I started writing her. And thank you! I'm not sure how people feel about friendship, but it needs to be written more. I wanted the relationship between Neville and Hannah to be first and foremost about friendship. No matter what else they are, or become, they'll always be friends.

Yes! Another mission accomplished! Sometimes when you write romance, you find out that your two characters wouldn't be able to stand up by themselves. Co-dependence like that was something I seriously wanted to avoid. And of course they still had to be adorable together! I want people to ship them :P

Ah! Thank you so much! I struggle with description so that means a lot ^.^

Thank you so much for the lovely review :)

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Review #90, by AphorideA Single Point In Time: 1981

10th February 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

I love the idea of this - looking in on various characters pre-Hogwarts and just after the war, how it affected them and so on. It's such a cool idea, and I'm so excited to see who else you'll write about - Remus, maybe? Sirius? You've really got my curiosity there :P

The way you write Dumbledore is so good, too! He's one of those characters who is so slippery and so hard to pin down, you know, given how mysterious he is in the books and all, but you've written him so well here - it's like this is a little part of canon we never got to see. I love how he's not sure about leaving Harry with Petunia, only sort of hopeful, and how he hates the fact that the war ended the way it did and people died the way they did. Considering Dumbledore's background, it's not hard to imagine that for him, it's a very hard thing to go through (again).

The little mention of Phineas Nigellus was brilliant, too. In canon, usually he disagrees so much with Dumbledore, and I love how here he disagrees with him, too - and it's easy to see the 'are you sure about leaving him with muggles' as a vaguely anti-muggle sentiment, which isn't far-fetched considering it's Phineas, haha - but Dumbledore himself isn't sure. Still, they're both wonderfully in character and it's so, so impressive! :)

Your writing in this is gorgeous, too - there's something so simultaneously beautiful and simple about it, like you're simply describing or writing a memory, you know, and it's a really, really lovely style. The words you choose are just perfect, too, and your description is amazing (and, tbh, I'm running out of similies to describe your writing ;D).

This is so, so good. Favouriting. Following. I'll be back ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph! Thanks for agreeing to swap! I absolutely loved reading yours too!

Hehe I currently have a very jumbled list of all the characters I might write about, but I'm finding it quite a challenge picking the years for them, and what each year might mean for each character. Hopefully when I've posted some more chapters you won't be disappointed!

I'm really glad you liked Dumbledore - I was so nervous about writing him. I'm also glad you liked the mention of Phineas - I really wanted to include him because he creates such a great contrast against Dumbledore and I always liked the bits with him in the books. My biggest reservation about this chapter was having Dumbledore uncertain of something because he does always seem to be in control of the situations, but at the same time I think it is only human that he would have his doubts. Thank you so much - I'm glad they're in character.

Hehe, you are far too kind! Thank you loads - its so lovely to get compliments, especially from a writer as amazing as you! ♥

Thanks you thank you thank you :)

Laura xxx

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Review #91, by AphorideFanged Revolution: Chapter the First

7th February 2015:
Hi there! Stopping by from BvB! :)

Okay, so I love vampires - they're so cool! And so fascinating! - so when you said you wanted a review on one of your WIPs, I just had to stop by this one! :)

I love Ignatius' character (are we ever going to find out what his original surname was? I like to think it's something like Weasley or Prewett, just for the kicks :P), how he regrets the way he acted when he was human, how he's been forced to hide and resents it, how he doesn't intend to kill the girl he meets (the Minister's daughter, I'm assuming), and how he feels wronged by his former own people - the wizards - because of how he's treated now. He's such a wonderful character, a proper revolutionary, lol, and it's great! :) Even in this first chapter, he's so well developed as a character, it's lovely!

I loved your descriptions of Knockturn Alley, and how for him it's sort of safer than Diagon Alley and the rest of the world. It's a really sad thing to think - that as a vampire he doesn't have anything, and can't have anything, and it's setting the scene so nicely for the revolution/rights battle later on ;) Also, I loved all the little classic vampires things you put in - the fangs, the blood, the aversion to sunlight and garlic... it was so good!

The way you slipped in all the background information on the vampires' situation, on how the Ministry treats them and all was so good, too - your writing is so lovely in this, it really feels like your being told about him, you know? It's a great style!

I'm so curious about what's going to happen next... what exactly the Minister's going to do and how this revolution is going to come about. If I see you in the BvB again, I'm definitely coming back! :)

Aph xx

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Review #92, by AphorideThe Ides of March: Nothing thicker than a knife's blade.

5th February 2015:
Hey there, Kiana! :) I was so glad you posted about a review swap, because it meant I could find an excuse to get back to this rather than reading about the beginnings of corporations... ;)

You know, it's been a while since I read the first chapter, but I still remember so much of it, because there's really no way I could forget this story. I don't think this is on my favourites yet, which, tbh, has been a long time coming... so I'll have to see to that once I've finished this ;)

As before, your characterisation of Helena is amazing. I love so much how you develop her relationships with other people - especially Rowena, and Helga, and Eleanor - and I love, actually, how female-centric the cast is. I find female-centric casts harder to write than male-centric ones, so I always love reading things like this. Helena continues to be such a tragic figure, in this: her relationship with her mother is so bad, and I feel for her with that, but at least she has Helga who tries to do the right thing and say the right thing, even though she doesn't understand what Helena's talkig about. What I love most about Eleanor, though, is how she's something of a counterpoint to Helena, almost, with her family loving her and being so happy and bright, compared to Helena who prefers anonymity, or attempted anonymity, at any rate. There's something wonderfully poetic about them.

The historical references and everything in this are so, so good, too. I love how religion is a major theme in this and really plays a role - it's so true to that era, and you handle it so well. I felt so sorry for Helena, though, after her talk with Helga, and being so convinced that her mother would just tell her she was doomed anyway - it really wasn't what she wanted to hear, even if it perhaps was what she expected. Though I loved the ending - it was so sweet! :)

Your writing, as always, is amazing in this. Just phenomenal, really. It's such a beautiful style you use for writing this, it really brings to mind the time and the period this is set in, and emphasises how solemn Helena is as a character, and makes the emotions so much more strongly felt. Your description is beautiful, but your dialogue is just brilliant and that always stands out to me whenever I read this. It's just... each word is perfect, you know? I don't know how you do it, it's a real gift...

So yeah, I love this and I can't believe this isn't on my favourites already :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura!! Apologies for taking aeons to get back to this, I have no excuse other than life. :P

Aw, it means so much to me that it's stayed in your mind so much, as it really is the closest bit of writing to my heart as I've really had fun exploring the issues within this.

I'm so glad that you liked Helena as she is so much fun to explore as there are always new facets to her to uncover as she is an intriguing person. Whoo, I think you're first person to comment on that, but I'm glad that you did because we often usually have a cast of dominant males, especially in historical stories, but the women of the world were pretty impressive too so it only felt right they got their time. Aw, I'm glad that you like the contrast between Helena and Eleanor as it is fun to write too, and to me it almost makes the two of them even more tragic if that's possible. :P

Aw, thank you so much. I've always loved the history of religion as it combines both philosophical ideas and history which are two great loves of mine, so I've had so much fun here. I know, it's so doomed, and there are plenty more twists and turns left for them so the ending might not last for too long.

Aw, thank you so much! ♥ (bah, I keep on saying this throughout the review. :P) That really means so much to me, I can't really describe it but I'm here flailing around nevertheless. :P ♥ ♥ ♥

Thanks for this fab review! ♥


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Review #93, by AphorideI Will Make You...: Moonlight

5th February 2015:
Hi there! Stopping by from BvB! :) I love a bit of Ron/Hermione - they're one of those pairings you just can't help but love, you know ;) - so I just had to stop by on this.

I love how you portrayed Ron and Hermione, with them both being in love with each other and wanting each other, but almost being too nervous to say anythng, really, until they do - there's the impression that it's taken Ron time to work up to it, you know? And how he reaches out to try and tuck her hair behind her ear, but bails when she looks up :P

Is it bad that with the ending I feel kinda sorry for Ron? Like, he really fancies her and she really fancies him, but then she essentially makes him forget that to a certain extent (which I thought was such a clever take on it! Makes the whole Lavender situation even more painful), and so it just gets left. Hermione's reaction was so good, though - I can definitely see her thinking something like that, with the timing of it and things, being so overly logical, almost. Gah, poor them! It's such a sad ending, for both of them.

Your writing in this was so good, too - the only thing I'd say is maybe to try combining different clauses into one sentence, with colons and semi-colons and commas? Coz your sentences, especially at the beginning, tend to be a bit short. But then again, I have a habit of writing incredibly long sentences, so feel free to ignore if you want ;) Still, your writing is so clean and so evocative of the emotions they're feeling - it really drags the reader into the piece, which is great! :)

I really enjoyed this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey :)

Thank you for reviewing! Your comment on my writing was so nice, thank you so much for that! As for the short sentences - I will pay more attention to that next time, though I'm afraid I will get lost writing long sentences, even have hard time reading them sometimes if they're written in English :D

I'm so glad you liked the story - I feel sorry for both of them, but then we all know how it ends. And the longer the wait, the better it tastes lol

thank you! :)

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Review #94, by AphorideFull of Grace: It's Better This Way.

4th February 2015:
Hey there - stopping by from BvB :) Seeing that you'd posted this so recently, and for the Songfic Challenge too (and songfics are always so good, imo!), I just had to stop by :)

This really is an incredibly heart-breaking one-shot, with the way you portray Molly and her grief, so enhanced by the use of the lyrics throughout. It really just tugs at you, and it's one of those stories you end up feeling after you've finished reading it, you know?

I love how you've portrayed Molly - even if that's kinda harsh to say, given what this story is about - but there's something so perfect about the way you write her. It's so exactly in canon, and in character for her to react in that kind of way - her family was always the most important thing to her, and it's been broken, in a way which can't be fixed. It's so desperately sad - I just want to hug her or something, her and Arthur both :(

I loved as well the way you tied in the seasons with it - how the season is changing and Fred's not there, and that's the hard thing, because it's the simple things, rather than the big things, almost. It really speaks of the depth of Molly's grief; as does the bit where you talk about how she feels the pain of all of her children, so the pain she feels at losing Fred is then multiplied because of the pain each of children feels at his loss, too. There's something so beautifully, poetically sad about that idea which I just adored.

Your writing in this was just stunning, too. The way you wrote it, with the description of the scenery outside and the grave and everything, was so gorgeous and brought the whole thing to life. It really let the emotions shine through - making them so powerful.

Gah, I'm so glad I read this - I'm sorry if this review is short, but I'm kinda lost for words, really, about how to review this because it's so beautiful :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there Aph!

Thanks so much for reviewing this. It was a difficult topic to write about and it was very, very important to me that I was delicate with the emotions.

I know that not everyone loves songfics, but I really loved this song and it just seemed to fit with what Molly was feeling.

I think you really are spot on about it being the simple things instead of the big things. It is so hard to get through your daily life when every little thing you do reminds you of what you've lost.

I also think that seasons are a reminder of the cycle of life and the change for each one is a reminder that things move on - even when Molly isn't quite ready to.

Gah - thanks for the compliment on my writing. It really, really means a lot - coming from you :)

This review WASN'T too short - it was absolutely perfect and I LOVE it!

♥ Beth

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Review #95, by AphorideThe Man With the Twisted Face: Prologue

2nd February 2015:
Hi there - dropping by from the review battle! :) I just had to stop by on this story when I saw it on your page - I love stories about Death Eaters, which explore their pasts and how they became the people we know in the books... there's something so fascinating about it! :)

I love the way you've started that off immediately, with the mention of how he didn't really hate muggleborns or believe in his parents ideology - it marks him out as a thoughtful, clever, maybe lonely sort of child - with nothing to play with, and far too much curiosity. It'll be interesting to see how those things play out for him in later life, and if they do more harm than good.

I actually feel pretty sorry for his parents, you know. It can't be easy growing up and believing so fervently in that kind of ideology and then having a child who doesn't believe it, and knowing you'll be in trouble because/if he doesn't. It's a pretty bad situation to be in, especially since they sound like they do actually care about him, you know? To me, that just highlights the horrors of the ideology Voldemort and the purebloods believed in, and how damaging it was to them... so sad! :(

Your writing in this is so good! I love how you write this almost as though it's a history, as though it's someone sitting with a class maybe, or with a pair of kids and telling it to them - that kind of narrated feel - and it works so well for this. It doesn't take away from the characters or the emotions at all.

I'm so so curious about what's going to happen next, too - with this mysterious girl and how that's going to effect him, what maybe his parents might end up doing about it (and him, too!), and how this will lead to him joining the Death Eaters and getting involved in that whole circle... he's got a long way to go from this point atm, and I'm imagining it's going to be something pretty drastic and probably pretty bad. Poor kid. Still, you've done a brilliant job of setting up the mystery and the cliffhanger and getting me invested in the characters.

This is a brilliant start! Might have to try and pop back to this sometime later in the month ;)

Aph xx

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Review #96, by AphorideThe New Creative Arts Department: that time when i started a newspaper

1st February 2015:
Hi there, Joey and Lisa! (You know, I'm gonna have to find some kind of collective noun for you guys... alternatively you guys can come up with one and just let me know, that works too... mostly coz I'm lazy and typing out Joey and Lisa every time is going to be long (since, you know, I'm probably going to be stalking this story ;P))

I love the idea of having an arts department at Hogwarts! I mean, it makes so much sense - they had a choir after all, so why not music lessons and painting and writing classes and things? (Any dance, coz that's like, my other arty passion, apart from writing ;D) but no, it's such a cool idea, and I love that you guys have done it because this kind of story deserves/needs snappy, witty dialogue and you guys are both so, so good at it. Like this - “So, can you write?”

“Can you breathe?”

Landon thought about the question. “Well, I’ve got asthma…” made my laugh out loud. Properly. My floormates probably think I'm mad or something... :P

The characters at first glimpse are so good, too - I love how they're so friendly with each other, and so easy to get to know and like. You have this strangely almost creepy way of getting me invested in your characters, in a way which is almost annoying, because I'm not used to being invested in characters, especially nice ones :P Normally I love the evil ones (strange crush of Joffrey, anyone? :P). What are you guys doing to me? Also, I love how different they all are - already you're establishing characteristics for them, like some being more confident about themselves than others, them all doing the course for different reasons, and having different strengths. It's hinting at a great story in the future! :)

I love the writing in this, too. I think the dialogue is the strongest point, but everything in this is so amazing. It flows so beautifully - and everything just fits to well together. I loved the introduction of the student newspaper, and having Teddy as the teacher, mahaha! Rose will sure have fun with that :P (Though I do pity Teddy a bit... is that wrong?) Plus, all the details - like Scorpius choosing his name was so funny, and Connor's disinterest in the course... they're so good at introducing the characters.

This is such a brilliant beginning, too - I'm so excited to see what's going to happen next, romantically with the characters, with the student newspaper and what other initiatives they're going to start up. And when exactly Teddy's going to end up having a nervous breakdown :P

Loved this beginning! :) Favouriting!

Aph xx

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Review #97, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: A Brand New Year

1st February 2015:
Hey there! :) Stopping by for our review swap! I was so glad you said this story, because I was wanting to come back to it anyway, so it all worked out pretty nicely ;)

I really liked this chapter, too - I liked how it linked up so cleverly with Albus' Story, and brought elements from there into play, with mention of Roxanne's crush on Scorpius, and Scorpius asking Fred out and all... there's something so awesome about sequel stories which do that - and I love it! :) Plus, it's so believable too, because things like that usually end up coming out at some point, you know? Though James didn't have to keep pushing the point, really - even if maybe he didn't mean to upset Albus quite like that (but he should have known! Annoying boy :P). Poor Al... and poor Scorp, too - no one wants to feel guilty over something they shouldn't be guilty about, especially when it happened years ago.

As before, in the first chapter and in the prequel, I love the characterisation of everyone in this - I love the relationships between them all, too. They're all so real, and the characters are all so real, too - like they could actually exist, you know? Which is something I love to pieces in stories! :)

I really liked the little glimpses of people like Colin and one of the girls who looked away, because it sort of hints at later drama, at potential difficulties they're going to face (which will then cause drama for Al and Scorp between themselves because Al will use it as reasons why they should never have opened up about their relationship I KNOW IT, and gah, that's just so cruel!), but it was so subtle. Little things people don't usually think about doing, you know? And that makes it almost worse, in a way...

The way you write everything in this - characters, relationships, emotions - is just so vivid. Like it always leaps out at me and gets me invested in the story and hoping that nothing bad will happen to then, that they'll all be happy and all that kind of stuff, you know? It's real talent! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I'm so looking forward to reading more of this, we're gonna have to do some more at some point ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: I'm sorry I took a while to respond! Thanks for a wonderful review, I don't really know how to respond properly... I'm blushing! :-)

I'm thrilled that you liked the chapter, and that you find the small details and references to the prequel.

Oh yes, there's drama to come, and Colin is here for a reason. ;-)

Thanks for a great swap and for your kind words!


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Review #98, by AphorideThe Many Jobs of Remus Lupin : The Many Jobs of Remus Lupin

1st February 2015:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :) I just had to click on this story because Remus is one of those characters I have a bit of a soft spot for, what with his tragic backstory and all, and I love seeing different people's portrayals of him. Plus, I always want to make that little '0' tick over to '1' ;)

I really loved this - I love the whole concept of it so much, too! It's so true that Remus would have had whole hordes of jobs after leaving school and being hired at Hogwarts and then the return of Voldemort and his missions and so on... and it's even more true that most of them were probably very short and not-very-good jobs, too. Poor guy, he gets such a bad lot in life... :(

You have his character down pat, though - I love how you've got all his little quirks in, and all those traits of his we see in canon: how he's the more serious of the Marauders (as far as we know), how he struggles with money, how he doesn't view serious topics as sources of humour, how he's really kinda incapable of keeping Sirius from doing what he wants :P The little details you used to describe him and all were so good too - I loved the reference to the bags under his eyes, the scars and the patches on his robes. And then Remus losing his temper eventually, but being embarrassed by it, was just so perfectly him! :D

Sirius was so great, too! I'm not always a massive fan of Siriuses in fic, but I loved him in this! His playful attitude was so right for him - and I loved how bored he was and just kept on irritating Remus because it was something to do. Still, all the cheerfulness to me seems to hint at someting darker underneath, you know, and I like that subtlety to it - like he's exaggerating it because he's not toally happy. Maybe that's just my interpretation, but I like that I can do that with this :)

Remus really should never have let Sirius watch tv, though. Or near a camera :P

I actually really liked the scene in the shop, even though it was so bad for poor Remus... it was funny! :P I loved how the shop owner didn't really care, and went on his lunch break suspiciously early... and then how his coworker sort of deliberately got him fired by doing the same and knowing he wouldn't be able to handle it. Nasty pair, those two - though I do wonder if they're kinda in cahoots, though what about or why I dunno... :P I love little details, though - all the mentions of the best-selling books were so, so good - and I always appreciate little jibes at The Book Which Shall Not Be Named ;) The mad fans were such a nice touch, too - it's so true of bookstores on days books like that come out. Insane. This is why I preorder stuff! :P

You are so, so good at writing humour, too - I'm so jealous of that! Please tell me your secret for it? ;) Pretty please? :P Your writing in this is so lovely - it flows so perfectly and everything.

So yeah, I really, really enjoyed reading this. I think this is going to have to go on my favourites so I can see all the other (hopefully/undoubtedly) horrible and funny jobs Remus gets! :)

Aph xx

p.s. thank you so, so much for the two reviews you left me - I really didn't expect to get a second one at all, and it completely made my day, so thank you! :)

Author's Response: Oh wow, what a master review. Where to begin?!

I love Remus and I wanted to hit all of those things. He's the serious one but he still has a little edge to him. I can see him blowing up once someone pushes him far enough and Sirius and him living together. Originally I was going to have Peter pop in and James as well but there's something about Remus/Sirius and their friendship that I had to make the focus for at least part of the story. I've never really written them before so it was a nice challenge and I didn't want to focus on love or a relationship because who really has time to be in a relationship when they're broke and trying to fight a war.

This was also going to be a short story collection of different jobs Remus had to take in order to survive but since Sirius and his other friends would have to eventually make their exit I didn't want to get away from the humor of the story so I stopped here.

Exactly! Sirius isn't happy. That's why he bothers Remus. They make biting jokes at each other because they can but he is bored and he knows he could be doing more and wants to do more but he doesn't necessarily have to. Plus, I don't think Sirius likes to be left alone (which was why I was going to add Peter into the mix) and he would be a little offended because he can take care of Remus.

Okay, honestly, I got the idea of the shop owner and the employee from actual retail experience. I worked in retail for many years in different stores and the customers that come in! I had a customer spit on me before. Others sneeze on you. Of course you have the yellers, the old woman fighting over skirts and other things for their grandchildren and the horrible managers that could care less about your sanity or your safety. So I took from my experience but embellished it a little bit.

I'm a bit rusty. I wrote half of this story in 2012 and then half of it now in 2015 so I'm glad you liked it from the beginning to the end. I'm tempted to write a second part now! What are you doing to me! :D

No problem. I really enjoyed your story. There's one more I added to my reading list that sounds so interesting. Your writing is superb! Thanks so much for the lovely review.

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Review #99, by AphorideAll or Nothing: there is a light that never goes out

31st January 2015:
Hi there! :) Dropping by for our exchange! I have to be honest, I was so excited to see I got paired with you this month because this story just looked so fascinating - I do love a good Bellatrix story and it's been ages since I read one!

And this was so good! :) I love the way you've presented Bellatrix in this - how she progresses from a cruel, but not evil, child, to such a determined, almost reckless teenager, to the madwoman we all know and love from the books :P There's something almost lovely (I say 'almost' because it is a want to hurt other people and all...) about the middle section: when Bella falls in love with the mystery woman, and they talk about conquering together, about staying side-by-side, even knowing the limitations their society would put on them. It's such a strong, powerful feeling there - the way you write it just pulls it through the words, it's so gorgeous! And that's a little bit strange, because it's not an emotion I usually associate with Bellatrix :P

The way you developed that relationship was simulatenously so sad (because we knew where it was going to end, and how it sort of had to end, before the beginning), but so bittersweet, too, because there was always this sort of memory, especially in the last section, and this sort of feeling with Bellatrix that maybe she still cared, even if just a little. If she was wondering about Mystery Woman more than Narcissa and them, it's kinda suggestive, you know ;)

You know, this is written for the Reset the Default Challenge, and, tbh, I think you've reset it perfectly, because I didn't even think anything about the sexuality of the characters or the nature of the relationship. It was just not really important, with the way you portrayed them and how you wrote their relationship - gender/sexuality didn't matter, it was a beautiful relationship and that was enough, you know? Yeah, that was so well done! :)

I loved your writing in this, too. I've already said (I think so, at any rate...) that you could really feel the emotion coming through the words, that there was this beautiful sense of love and passion and drive and determination, and all of those things which are so typically Bellatrix, and reflected their relationship. Like, you didn't just read it, you sort of felt it too, and you wanted them to be together, even though you knew it wasn't going to end that way. So sad, and so cruel of you! ;)

Even if I never thought of it before, this pairing makes sense. It just works, and you make me ship it! :)

So yeah, I really love this fic - it's so good, in every way, from the way you characterise Bella (the beetle-stamping thing was so in-character for all three Black sisters!), and the way you develop such a beautiful, even if desperately sad by the end, relationship. You make me feel for Bella, because we see her side, and this woman, in her mind, betrayed her and left. It's almost heartbreaking! :(

I loved this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Laura!! I'm so sorry for taking ages to reply to this, it was such a wonderful review! Aw, I'm really glad you were excited to read this - I was stoked to get the chance to read some more of your wonderful work as well. :D

Thank you so much for what you said in that second paragraph, and how it felt strong and beautiful - that is such a compliment. I was definitely intending to show her impressive strength of character without changing her into a good person, yet still putting something of a good light on her.

I'm glad you liked the bittersweet development of their relationship. I like to think that she does stilll care, at least sometimes, but of course that is for only Bellatrix to know and for us to wonder :p And thanks, I'm so glad you liked the way I reset the default! I didn't want to make it the point of the story or draw any special attention to her sexuality, only to write a relationship how it was. I'm so glad you liked how I approached it.

Wow, thank you! It is really so wonderful to hear that you could feel the emotion while reading this and that you liked the writing style. It was really a challenge for me and so this is just amazing to hear. Thank you!

ooh, I'm glad you ship the pairing haha! I had never thought much about Bella before writing this but once I did stop to consider, I think this is the way I've always envisioned Bellatrix to be honest, and this story just gave me the opportunity to put a voice to it.

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this fic, and that you liked the characterisation of all three of the sisters in that first scene. And most of all I'm glad it made you (almost) sympahise with Bella and feel sad that the relationship ended in betrayal (as she views it).

Thank you so much for this incredible review!!

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Review #100, by AphorideTrue Romance: Simple Song

25th January 2015:
Hey there, Rose! Sorry for this being a little bit late in getting to you, but my friend stopped round and I got completely distracted from the internet :P

I really can't believe this is finished! It seems like only recently it was being started... and Pure Romance before it... it's been, what? A year? Less? Something like that... wah, I'm so pleased for you but so sad coz this is the end of Albus and Brandon's story (though maybe minor appearances in Lily/Lysander? ;D).

I love how you've ended this though. It feels like this and Pure Romance have come full circle - with Al and Scorp starting out as friends, and then ending as friends, and both being secure in where they are and who they are and all that kind of stuff. There's something lovely about that - that they remained friends even after the love and the heartbreak and everything.

It was such a sweet scene with the two of them - so appropriate! And I love how Scorpius is so in love with Corbin (even if I'm not Corbin's biggest fan :P), and how Albus is so in love with Brandon, and both their lives are moving on - it's so nice to see people get happy endings for once! (I've been watching GoT recently, lol)

I'm so excited for the Lily/Lysander story (and I really hope it is Lily/Lysander, he sounds so good for her!), and I may pop by your story request thread soon with a plunny ;) But we'll see! For now, I'm just so happy with the ending of this - it's so nice! :D

Thank you so much for writing this story - I've loved it! :)

Aph xx

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