Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
  
515 Reviews Found

Review #76, by AphorideCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Albus's Guilt Trip

14th April 2015:
Hey Branwen! :) Stopping by from BvB battle!

You know, I just have to say this because I think it's kinda appropriate - I apologise if there's any weird wording/spellings in this because I'm watching Atletico v Real Madrid in the Champions league quarters :P So yeah, blame any mistakes on that ;)

I really love the way you've set this up. A lot of Next Gens often feel overly similar to me, you know - and it can be really pretty boring (and I'm easily bored, oops) - but this has a really different feel to it. I love how it starts with them already at school, rather than arriving at school or anything, and how Rose's character is established, as, well, not the nicest person in the world :P

No, seriously, she's an amazing character. She's so real, you know, which, for me, always makes things that much better. Rose is somewhat prejudiced, even if it's a logical and personal kinda reason why, she's aware of it and doesn't seem too bothered by it, and she seems to have a bit of a temper on her - but she's also clearly pretty clever, pretty brave and bold and unafraid of speaking her mind. She seems like the kind of person who's loud and isn't necessarily used to being talked over/told she's wrong or beaten verbally. Her characterisation, tbh, makes the whole 'hate-to-love' thing - normally something I hate with a passion, I gotta admit - so so much better, and actually something I like in here, because it makes sense, you know? And I can see how, I imagine, her realising about Scorpius is tied into a growing up, coming-of-age kinda storyline too. Which, imo, is probably the best way to manage that kind of cliche ;)

So yeah, I love Rose. Tbh, though, all of your characters are so, so good in this. Al and Scorpius - even James and Roxanne, who don't really appear all that much at all in this first chapter - are so interesting and so real. I'm so glad to see James friends with Roxanne rather than Freddy, and Al being the little socialite with so many friends from different houses :P They're such great presentations of them all, and I'm so curious to see what you do with them in the future - especially Scorpius, ofc ;)

Especially with Rose and Scorpius, I love how you've set it up so that Rose is the unreasonable one, in terms of her house opinions, and Scorpius is the rational one instead. It's a lovely overturn of the Hermione-Draco feud, in a way.

Your writing in this is so gorgeous too. Just the perfect balance of description and dialogue, and all of it is so so good. It just flowed so beautifully and sucked me into the story completely. The only thing I want to mention - since I know you're editing it atm - is that there are a couple of strange word phrasing things (like at one point you say something like 'could cut even out') which sounded a bit odd in my head. Maybe something to look over? But seriously, they're pretty minor things - they didn't disrupt anything much at all and the only reason they're even noticeable is because the rest of your writing is so good ;)

It's strange - having seen you around for so long in the CR, I can't believe this is my first review on this :P Will have to try and come back sometime later on in the Battle ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey, Aph! ♥ It was definitely super appropriate that you reviewed a story of mine during a Madrid derby I was glued to the tv for. :P (Speaking of - sorry about Bayern! Can't imagine they won't bounce back at home, though!)

I agree that sometimes, next-gens (both characters and plots, really) can fall into vague molds that don't change enough between stories/authors. I'm really glad that, thus far, at least, you don't feel like this falls into that trap.

I love that you got that from Rose, because yes - I think you're 100% right. She's not used to being challenged, especially by people who don't back down pretty quickly, and I have so much fun with that in this fic because I think the only two people who really push that on a regular basis are Albus and Scorpius himself - albeit in very different ways! Scorpius actually definitely touches on the 'hate-to-love' thing pretty directly a couple times later in the story - if you get that far at any point, I hope you like it there, too!

And yes, speaking of Scorpius - I definitely wanted to avoid the undertones of the Hermione-Draco feud (and Draco 2.0 in general) that I think are pretty prevalent through Scoroses. Because, seriously, what, like Draco hasn't changed and raised his kid in a very different way than his father raised him? Come on. (I mean, I've read stories where this was well done... but yeah, definitely wanted to avoid it!)

Thank you so much for the review! I'll look over the wording again asap and correct it. ♥


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Review #77, by AphorideThis Treasure: You Make Me Smile

13th April 2015:
Hey Sian! :) Okay, so I think I picked a bad time to write reviews, haha, but also a really, really hard story to review :( Oops! (And not in a bad way, not at all - just that, you know, it's heartbreaking, and I'm pretty sure that's going to be about a third of my review :P)

Okay, so Imma try and say something a little more interesting than 'this was heartbreaking. So beautiful, but heartbreaking' over and over again, because I suspect that would get dull pretty quickly ;)

I loved the way you had this split up into sections, with the different times and different moments throughout their lives dotted around the timeline of the end creeping closer and closer to them. It was such an inevitable conclusion, but at the same time it didn't really matter that I already knew kinda how it would end, because the writing was so beautiful and somehow, I have no idea how you did it though, with the moments there was still story - still moments of them to see in their lives. It was almost sweeter and more romantic seeing those moments and knowing what came after, you know? Like, despite the heartbreak, you could see they had been happy, and it made it so much worse and a little bit better at the same time, because at least they had what they had and they were happy during it.

The way you wrote both Ron and Hermione was amazing. They're such huge characters in the books that they terrify me so much with the thought of writing them, because they're so easy to mess up, you know, but you do them so perfectly in this - it's almost like they've just stepped out of the books and into this. Like, everything about them is perfect - from the way Hermione always seems to know what to say, to the way Ron is so astounded at Muggle things, to how they act around each other and how absolutely in love they are, but still with that undertone of faint, happy bickering :P

Your writing... ugh. Where do I even start with this? It was so gorgeous. All of your description was amazing - that scene where you had Hermione in the bed in the hospital was so stark and so clear in my mind it was incredible. I think the best thing about it, though, was how real the emotions in it were, and how true. Like, I've never lost someone that close to me before, but the emotions made me feel almost like I had, and made me imagine so realistically what it would be like if I did: how hard it would be and what it would be like to go through.

I love how you've used the DH missing moment with Ron and the Deluminator, and then the references to their kiss at the Battle and Ron's behaviour at the ball and all of those little things in this, too. They're all so perfectly placed as though two people really are just talking at one random time, and it happens to come up, like an old joke or comment. It's so right for them, considering how much time they spent together and how much time they were close, that it feels like that.

Okay, so this was completely heartbreaking, and I may even have felt tears pricking a little towards the end, and it was so gorgeously written, and Ron and Hermione were just so perfect - actually all the characters were perfect - and this was just way too beautiful for me not to favourite it, in total. So yeah, I loved it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #78, by AphorideTaming the Dragon Tamer: [one]

13th April 2015:
Hi there! :) Okay, so first off, I have to admit that I've always loved the idea of Charlie being gay - it's always been one of those little parts of my headcanon I've never explored, you know? So yeah, I just had to stop by on this because so much of this is so much like my headcanon :)

I love how it starts with Charlie being hurt and how that then turns into how he meets the guy who, I hope, he falls in love with and (finally!) introduces to his family (because I suspect they would be a little bit more accepting than he thinks... also because he deserves it!). Coincidence is always such a wonderful thing to play with, and I love it when authors use it like this! :)

Your characterisation of Charlie was brilliant, too. I love how he's so passionate about his dragons, and wants to work with them so much that he's even willing to risk his own health for it. He's such a lovely guy, and again, so much like how I've always pictured him. I love as well, I have to say, how when he saw Christopher in the wheelchair his first thought almost was for the dragons :P It's so great how you've not avoided him being so in love with his work and the idea of it, you know? Because it's always seemed to me so central to his character, so I love that you've worked it in so well :)

Your writing in this is so so good, too. I think I've seen you say on the forums that you're not a native speaker (Austrian, right?), and your English is incredible. I could never hope to write anything in German which is half as good as this is. All of your description is so lovely, and your dialogue is great, too. Plus the emotions you describe are all so real, and really feel real, too - coming out of your writing.

I love the little moment at the end, when Charlie gets caught being rude about his tour group, and how Christopher calls him out on it. Good for him! :P Charlie deserved it, too. I'm so curious to see where this goes - I'll have to see about catching you in the BvB some time :)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was so great! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!
I'm glad you picked this story.

Charlie really does need to trust his family more, he might be surprised by what he finds. I think he needs a really strong character who can stand up to him as a counterpart. I picture him as a very daring person as long as it doesn't concern matters of the heart.

Charlie's work is the only thing we know he loves from the HP books. I think it has to be important to him in order to make Charlie seem believeable. He almost sees them as his children and loves them with everything he's got.

I'm glad you think my writing is good, I often feel like it could still use some work... I'm from Austria, but please don't go easy on me in any reviews just because english is my second language. I've always been fascinated with it and even though I'm fluent and have no trouble with it, I still think there's room for improvement.

Chris certainly doesn't take any of Charlie's nonsense. He needs to be strong and self-confident in order to put up with Charlie's own insecurities.

I'm really glad we did the swap, your work was really great. I think I was able to pick up on a couple of things that might help me improve my writing there.

Thanks so much for the lovely review.

~Anja

Aph xx


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Review #79, by AphorideBruises: Terror

13th April 2015:
Hey there, Kaitlin! :) Stopping by for our review swap!

Okay, so this is unsurprisingly a pretty difficult thing to read - things like this, the ideas that people were ever treated like this is horrific, you know? It's so hard to understand how people could have done things like this.

That being said, this is a beautifully devastating story in itself. I love the way you write it, going through day by day with Caroline's progress, how she slowly regains her memory and works out where she was and who she was, and who the people around her are and why she was there. You really made me root for her and want her to find out, and understand why, and to get out too, so she could be safe - though, of course, in the end, it seems to be to a certain degree of 'safe'. Poor girl, it really seems to be too much for her to ask, which is horrible.

I love the way you characterise her, though, the way she's so desperate to get out and so cunning, in the end, with the way she figures out to essentially make them believe they've won and that they've 'cured' her. It's a very clever strategy, really. Also, I love the way she determines in the end that she's going to protect her sister from what happened to her - though you don't tell us if she succeeds or not - and there's still this kind of fire in her. It's such great characterisation - I love it to bits! :)

You manage the subject matter so, so well too. It's such a difficult thing to write about, and so necessary to get the details right, too, you know, especially considering the intricacies of what you're portraying and the limits of written horror and so on. Your writing really brings all the emotions and the angst and the dark/horror out of this, too - it makes it all so much more emotive and evocative, with the images it presents. (Though one small thing - you say 'shakes her head yes' where I think maybe 'nods her head yes' would be better? Like, it's a more common description - but then, feel free to ignore me if the repetition is intended ;))

This is a gorgeously written, heart-breaking one-shot, it really is. I'm only sorry I can't find more to say about it.

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

I agree the idea that these types of things ever happened to humans are horrific! Especially in reality where they were done to treat people for being different.

I'm happy to hear that you were rooting for Caroline. So was I! I wanted the story to make the reader feel like they were struggling along with Caroline to create some sympathy for her.

I think Sarah is the absolute most important part of Caroline's life, so she will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. That fire in her will stay alive as long as her sister needs her.

The shaking the head yes was pointed out to me by another reader as well. Where I come from it is acceptable to say both shake your head yes and shake your head no...but I can totally see why this is confusing and will be editing it to nodding instead.

Thank you for such lovely compliments. It means a lot coming from you because you do such beautiful writing.

~Kaitlin


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Review #80, by Aphoridebroken, broken: after the Battle.

11th April 2015:
Hey Emily! :D So I thought it was about time I stopped by this having heard so much about it in the cabin and around and so on, so here I am! :)

I love how you deal with this from the Slytherins' point of view, rather than the winners of the battle - it's so so true to think that the 'losers' will face similar issues to those who won, you know, and that they'll suffer too. It's not limited to the people on the right side of things - it's everyone, because these things don't discriminate.

Plus, the Slytherins of their year are a pretty fascinating bunch :P

I love how you've characterised Daphne - I identify with her so much. She's so real, with the way she internalises so much of what she's suffered, and she just wants out, and trying to help her friends gets wearing after a time - these things aren't nice things, but they're true in life and give this a lovely, almost bitter little twist. I love as well her relationships with the others - Astoria and Pansy especially - they're so rich and complicated and so in depth. It's really amazing, I don't know quite how you do it! :) Her relationship with Pansy is so so lovely, too - I love how easy it is, and you just know the kiss is coming, it fits in so well and it's sort of inevitable, really, because of the way you write the two of them.

Pansy and Astoria, too are wonderful characters. Actually, everyone in this is. I love how they're all struggling, and they've all reacted to it in different, equally heartbreaking ways - Pansy with her panic attacks and anxiety, Blaise by brewing potion, Gregory by making circles in his fists from his nails, Astoria by being angry... it's just so, so good, and it really gives a kind of darker reflection of what they were like before, in a way, which just makes it that much more sad. There's this sense in all of them, from your writing, that they're all so delicate and potentially about to break at any moment.

That moment with Millicent's wand snapped by the tomb was so so horrible. I'm not sure if she snapped it herself or if she was arrested or something, but either way the idea that she now doesn't perhaps want a wand or magic is just so incredibly sad. Especially when you think that one of the points of the war was to be more accepting of people with magic.

Your writing in this is gorgeous. Just so, so gorgeous. Your description is amazing, so emotive and evocative and just wonderful. The whole time I was reading this, I couldn't stop and it felt almost like I was being told this by a friend or something, like I was half-involved in it, and invested and, gah, almost like I was holding my breath for so long, you know?

This is just so so gorgeous and I'm sorry this review is a little bit short and very rambly and probably hasn't said much, oops, but gah, I just love this. I'm so so excited to see where this goes from here, and what happens to them all.

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

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Review #81, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: A Letter From Home

7th April 2015:
Hey - dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry I didn't see it until so late - I've been in and out cooking dinner and things, so I missed it for a while. Anyway, I'm here now!

I loved this chapter - I love Scorpius so much, and Albus too, but Scorpius I think needed this so much, especially the letter from his dad. I love how the broom was almost literally something like an olive branch - maybe not completely, we'll see when his parents turn up for the game, I think - and it's also made of wood, which was a neat connection. Also, the letter was so sweet - so simple, but something Scorpius needed to hear so badly. I'm really, really hoping that when his parents turn up for the game everything goes okay for him (and for Albus, too!) :)

Albus was so great in this, too - I loved how he wanted to study so much, and has to study, too, and how he was planning to take Valentine's Day off to spend it with Scorpius and therefore was studying more than usual to make up for it. It's such a sweet, forward-thinking thing, you know?

What I always love about your Albus and Scorpius is how, at times like this, they're so good at being in a relationship - like, they understand each other, they don't necessarily need to ask each other about things, they can just do them and be comfortable with that. It's so great - you write their relationship so brilliantly!

I love how well you're developing the supporting cast, too - Dorinda and Jupiter are such wonderful characters! I love how nervous Jupiter is about writing letters to his girlfriend, because he doesn't really know Muggle things - it's so real, that struggle you know? - and how Dorinda feels so lonely because it feels like everyone else is pairing off around her (and don't I know that feeling! :P) and Scorpius' misreading of that, haha! Poor boy, he got it so wrong :P

Your writing in this is lovely, as usual. You're so so good with the little things - like, especially in this chapter, there were so many little things which evoked emotions and so on: Dorinda laughing louder than the others at the joke, Scorpius crying when he reads the letter from his dad... it's so so lovely, because they really make the whole thing come to life. Plus, your descriptions are so great, especially the contrast between the library and outside, and your dialogue is always on point.

I'm so so curious if the match will be the next chapter, and what will happen when Scorpius' parents are there... ah, it's not even a cliffhanger! See what this story does to me? :P

Thank you so much for the swap - it was so lovely, as always! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thanks for this great review! I'm sorry I'm so late in my response.

I really appreciate your reviews, and that you like my characters. But, knowing what will happen later on in this story, I'm going to disappoint you, I'm afraid... Albus and Scorpius seem to have the parfect relationship, but how little they know...

Thanks again for the swap!

Molly


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Review #82, by AphorideEverything About You: Everything About You

7th April 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so I have to admit I'm not a big fan of Dramione, but sometimes some of them work, you know? ;) And the summary of this sounded so, so interesting so I just had to stop by to see what it was about.

I really liked this, too - I loved how you characterised Draco, and how you made it a slow-build type thing, with him being almost obsessed with teasing her and bullying and belittling her from the beginning, and the hints that it's more because he likes her than anything else. It's such a different characterisation to what I've seen before with Dramione's and it's so much more realistic and so much less cliche, which I adore, too. It's a very childish thing of Draco to do, but he is, essentially a child, and I loved how it changes as he grows up and that when he's older he realises the truth of his feelings and his obsession with her.

Hermione too is so good. She and Harry and Ron are characters I'm always so terrified to write because they're the trio, you know, and JK Rowling wrote them so completely, that for me I just find it them so scary, because if you get them wrong, it's obvious. But you wrote her so beautifully here, and so true to canon too. I loved how she reacted to Draco, how her temper was evident there, and how she, in the end, was so forgiving of him. I loved the little references to her intelligence and her hardworking nature, and the contradictions Draco would have seen or felt with her being better than him academically, but being muggle-born and so supposedly inferior. It's one of those contradictions which wasn't really explored in the books, so I love how you explored it in this :)

Your writing in this was so lovely, too - I loved your descriptions, and the narrative you used in this. It was such a brilliant style - with Draco going through so much of his life, not skimping on any of it, and yet not providing too much detail that it got swamped down in it - it was such a perfect balance of the two. I loved the minimalist dialogue, too - it really added to the story, to the narrative feel in particular.

I loved the ending, and how you had things develop after the war, and how he changed and grew as a person. I think it's totally believeable that he changed then - there's no pressure, you know, to believe the things he believed as a child, and he's young enough for his opinions to still potentially change. Not completely, but just enough. Plus, the way you work it in that he might well have been subconsciously questioning things behind it all really makes it work so much better, too, and makes the sudden change so much more real.

Also, I have to say that I loved the fact that all the eighth years bonded together - it's a pretty sweet gesture, tbh - and I love how they didn't ask him. Poor Draco, haha, having his table and quiet stolen :P And the ending is so sweet, too! One of those moments which is just so perfect :)

This is a really, really lovely one-shot - I'm so glad we swapped so I could read it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #83, by Aphoridei'm coming home: breathe.

7th April 2015:
Hey Lisa! :) So I'm so glad you wanted to swap because, tbh, I don't think I read enough of your stuff (and is it an excuse to say you write a lot of good stuff in a short space of time? :P Probably not, haha).

And this is so good. It's such a sweet, hopeful one-shot, and your writing is so lovely and so good at pulling all of the emotions out to make me feel what your characters are feeling, you know? It makes this so touching and the ending all that much better for it, because I'm genuinely glad that Daphne will have the chance to get better, and will be able to, and will fall in love and have a chance at the life she should have had anyway.

(I think this is the point I should say that my sisters both have anxiety. Different types, and neither of them has panic attacks, really - one of them has, but really rarely - so this is kinda hard-hitting for me because of that.)

I love the way you wrote Daphne, too, how she was so scared and how she couldn't remember even if she'd been anxious like that before the war, or just since it had started. She's such a beautiful character - she's scared and has such bad anxiety (I wanted to hug her for most of this, I gotta admit), and yet she's still able to stand up for herself to Draco and be the older sister when talking about Draco and Astoria. She's so real, but then most of the people you write are, so that shouldn't be too much of a surprise ;)

The whole thing with her meeting Cho was gorgeous. I love that it happened in a coffee shop - it's a bit of a cliche at times, but it works so well, and it's such a cute idea, haha - and how Cho pretty much knew Daphne liked her, and liked her back, without Daphne saying anything. It was such a lovely scene, when Cho talked to her after she'd been at the cafe all day for so long. And then when they met up at the teashop (a not-date date :P Hehe, always love it when that happens!), and the kiss afterwards... it was so so sweet! :)

You know, I actually really like Cho as a character - she always gets so picked on by fans, but really, she saw her boyfriend get murdered. I'd cry after that! - so I'm so glad you chose her for this, because she really deserves a second chance :P Also, she's really not written enough, in any form. I love how she's so nice and genuine and warm in this, how she just wants to help and she's so invested, and she's suffered so much but she keeps going. She's just amazing, and I love how you described her with the continual references to light and so on - it was so gorgeous, and really so romantic, too.

Your writing, as usual, was so gorgeous in this. Your description is so lovely - the panic attacks you wrote were so vivid! - and your dialogue, of course, was brilliant. I loved the way you used taste in this too - the repetition of coffee and sunlight and bravery, even if not entirely - because it was so gorgeous, and as a phrase I love it anyway :P

Also, just a small thing, but I loved how Tori knows everything :P Poor Draco, hehe.

But yes, this was a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot, and I'm sorry this review is a little short, but I think if I repeated 'this is gorgeous. this is gorgeous. you are gorgeous.' etc. ad nauseum, it might get a little boring :P But yes, this is so gorgeous! :D

Aph xx

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Review #84, by AphorideForget Me Not: bloom and wither

7th April 2015:
Hi Adi! :) So I have to admit that I saw this around when Aditi's challenge first ended, but I never got round to reading it - so I'm so glad you dropped this off for me today, because, honestly, it really, really was worth it.

Like, this is such a beautiful, thought-provoking, devastating one-shot. I really don't know how you did it - made it so so good - and you're not at the end that you're not sure if you managed it well just blows my mind, because this is amazing, and if you can't see it, then you really, really should ;)

Your characterisation in this is amazing. I love Scorpius - how absolute his loyalty is to her, because he loves her, and how both things even go beyond actually liking her and being her friend. It's such a beautiful construction of feelings, and of a person, that it feels so, so real - more real than so much else I've read recently. It's astounding. I love, too, how this started almost sort of after the fact - in that it was after he'd fallen in love with her, and after they'd split up and things seemed to have gone wrong for them. It's such a clever thing to do, and such a bittersweet thing to build a new relationship after it.

Rose is just... like Scorpius, I'm kinda torn between liking her and disliking her, but, mostly, I just feel so so sorry for her. Because no one deserves the kind of thing she ends up going through, and it's so so difficult for people to get out of, but at the same time so easy for people to misunderstand and think/say 'well, just do'. Things are never that simple in situations like Rose's. But yes, I love how she's so flawed, too - how she's inherently selfish, even if she's almost only looking to be happy but keeps getting it wrong, and somewhat materialistic, and almost foolish in a way, too. It's again, an incredibly poignant and human portrayal and I love it to pieces.

The way you write the whole situation in this is so beautiful - I can't feel wholly sorry for Scorpius and blame Rose, but at the same time, Rose isn't an angel herself. It's such a complicated relationship and such a difficult, heartbreaking situation, that, really, it's just almost destined to end badly from the beginning, and yet throughout it you kept making me hope that it would end vaguely well, at least.

You dealt with the subject matter so well, too - something like that is always so hard to write, and often ends up being, perhaps unintentionally, glorified in a way (like, oh but he doesn't mean to or something, which really just... grr, but let's not get sidetracked :P), but you wrote it so well, and it just sort of added to the complications of the story, and added to the sort of unspoken half of Rose's story, you know? So major kudos to you for that, because it's so not easy and here it's just devastating, really (as it should be!).

Your writing in this is so gorgeous, too. Just everything about it is amazing. From your description - which is stunning - to your dialogue, which I'm so jealous of (please teach me how you dialogue? Seriously?), it's just so so good. Every word is so well-placed and so right for the situation, and you have such a beautiful flow and pace in this, and the different sections worked so well. This line: "Whatever happens, I'll bloom someday. And only for you." was just stunning. And heartbreaking. Equally. Just gah :(

I loved the repetition of the summary lines, too, and how it tied into the end. That moment, wah, that was so, so cruel, and so sad to read. I'd kinda seen it coming (I have to admit that much, I think :P), but it wasn't any less heartbreaking to read it knowing it was coming than not, I think.

I've said heartbreaking and beautiful too often in this review, I think, but really, that's what it is. So there :P

Thank you so so much for the swap - I'm so so glad of it because this was gorgeous! :)

Aph xx

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Review #85, by AphorideYou: you

7th April 2015:
NO! I lost first review! :( So upsetting... next time, Emily, next time ;)

Anyway, you know Albus/Gellert is one of my absolute OTPs, but I've always loved the idea of Elphias Doge having an unrequited thing for Albus - after all, he seems pretty passionate about believing in Albus in the books, you know? :P Plus, unrequited love, to me, is more interesting than it being perfectly requited in some instances - like this one.

So yeah, I love the whole idea of this, and the way you've done it too. It's just so beautiful, the way you wrote it, with the idea that Elphias doesn't know if Albus ever knew, maybe ever even suspected, and he never said anything, because he believed - rightly or wrongly - almost that he wasn't good enough. It's a heartbreaking approach to take, but I love it because of that, you know? It's so real, and so raw because of that. You really make me feel for Elphias, because no one wants to almost deny themselves love because they're too scared and they don't think they're worth it, but at the same time it's bittersweet, because at least he was never potentially told 'no'... though it's not necessarily the best thing.

Your Elphias is so sweet, though - like, adorable-sweet, haha. He just seems so well-meaning and nice and nervous almost, and I can't help but feel so sorry for him that he never quite had the courage, and seems to have had a lot of internalised issues with his own sexuality (which is incredibly period-appropriate, and I love that you included it for that reason, but is so sad when you think about how it will have affected people then, you know?). Poor, poor guy.

(And I doubt dating Muriel will have helped. No wonder she didn't seem to like him too much in DH! God, she's a terror, haha)

Your writing in this is so lovely, too - it's so beautiful and so clear, and there's this gorgeous tone of honesty, too, which I love so much. This style of writing is something I'm really into at the moment, don't know why, so yeah, I love it :) You're so good at evoking emotion, too, which is so lovely, and the tone of this is so bittersweet and reminiscent and just lovely.

Gah, this is such a good one-shot! I loved it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #86, by AphorideInanimate Objects: where possible salvation is tricked into arriving at the castle

5th April 2015:
WO FIRST REVIEW :D :D :D Hehe, hi Emily! :P

I loved this chapter as you already know. I mean, this whole story is pretty much genius, in terms of ideas, but this was just so good. Really, I have no idea how you do it! :)

Lucius is the funniest character in this - and I love how he's almost a stereotype of himself from the books, with the cynical kind of nature and the self-important little jabs about how he's stuck as a candelabra and really has no time for it :P I love how he's so almost rude to Dumbledore when he turns up to give the rose to Tom and Lucius, and how he almost has no patience for Tom's antics, with the chandelier and so on.

The way you've characterised all of them is so brilliant, too. I love how so many of the characters have been turned into different objects - with Crouch as a spade and Crabbe as the chandelier (gotta feel sorry for him; having Tom swing from him to jump down the floors when he feels like it can't be fun!) - they're just all such genius ideas, really. Plus, the little mentions of things, like Lucius clunking to the floor, and the light on his left candle blowing out, are so so good (and Goyle wanting oiling :P), because they really just bring the whole thing to life completely.

I'm so excited to see Bellatrix in this - haha, poor her! :P Her mother just abandoning her like that, and her knowing, really, that she's probably not at all like what Tom and the rest of them were looking for. I think you wrote her so well - she's got just the right amount of edginess, of wildness too, which is so Bellatrix. I loved the mention of the leather jacket, too - it was brilliant! Just the kind of thing I can imagine her wearing, if it didn't class as muggle, you know :P

(One little thing - it should be Gaunt manor, not Gaunt manner ;D)

As before, your writing is so so lovely - so clear and so precise and it's soaked, in this, in such a beautiful comedic tone which just allows the characters and the whole humour in this to flourish. It's so so good. Your description is gorgeous, as usual! ;)

Loved this chapter, as before! :) So excited for the next one - Bellatrix meeting Tom! :P

Aph xx

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Review #87, by Aphoridele ciel saigne pour nous. : la lune et l’étoile.

4th April 2015:
Hey Kiana! :) Dropping by for the BvB battle! I've been trying to catch you in it to review this, but I missed you before - but I got you this time, so it's okay :P

Okay, so I adore the title. Like, completely. It's so beautiful and so sad - things always sound more beautiful and less dangerous in French, I think (though that might just be me) - and yet there's still that underlying hint of something a bit darker, which I love so much. The title in itself could be a story, you know, which is amazing! ;)

I love the whole idea of this. I don't really have any Next Gen ships, as such, tbh, but I'd never read a Victoire/Scorpius before this one - and this is just amazing. You make me believe in them so much, and so disappointed for her that he doesn't show up in the end, when she wants him there. Through the whole thing, there's this lovely sense of love and romance, but not a cheesy, cliche kind of romance, a darker, more forbidden, kind of romance, which is much more my kind of thing :P

Plus, I love how you characterised both Victoire and Scorpius - how there was no sense of necessarily inherent good/evil kinda thing, they were both just people - and the way you did it, with a lot of physical imagery, with the fingers tracing lines and across ribs and things, was so beautiful, too. I loved how Victoire almost can't tell him the truth - and perhaps doesn't - when he asks her if she loves him, and how she's consumed by doubt (the smoke/fumes references was so perfect for that!), and almost suddenly can't think. It's so sad, because you can only wonder if that's maybe why he didn't show up - if he didn't think she actually loved him and decided to let her go.

The mystery in this is gorgeous, too. I love how you don't detail all of their relationship in its entirety, or all of their lives - but it's these beautiful little snapshots of them being them, and with the sea and the wind and sky. Like, we only see them together, and nothing more, and you manage that balance between enough detail that we can imagine it, and picture it, and hope for them, but not enough to take away from the mystery of what's going on behind it all - is Victoire actually in love with him? How did they get together? The unknown stuff really just adds to it - it really almost cements them as a couple in this, that we don't see them begin, if that makes sense... :P

Your writing is so beautiful in this too. Stylistically, the flow and the word choice is just perfect. It's amazing. All of your description too, is just so so gorgeous - it all fits in so well with the themes and with the picture and just... ugh, everything in this is so, so good. It's really an amazing one-shot. I love it so, so much.

I'm so sorry this review is so short - but, really, this is just amazing and gorgeous and beautiful and don't know that many more synonyms for 'beautiful' to use to describe this :P So yeah, that's why.

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura! ♥

Aw, thank you so much! I totally get what you mean which is why I sometimes feel that if all FF was written in French even Dramione would be something I would want to read as it just has this quality to make everything almost sparkling and beautiful if that makes sense. :P

Aw, thank you! I feel as if I should be against it as a big Scorose but sometimes it's too much fun to ship things like this so you have to forget about your OTP. :P I'm so glad that you did like them together, as I imagine them both being quite vain, prone to being dramatic and having intense relation which is what they're both very good and very bad for one another. :P

I'm glad that you liked the two of them because I feel as if a lot of my characters are always leaning to the good side of the spectrum of things, so it was fun writing these two as it was bit more confused here. I know, I think with Victoire she has to be certain before she declares anything and she doesn't want to lie about her feelings as that's an ultimate crime in her mind, hence why she side-steps it for most of this story. Whereas Scorpius's is so passionate about her he needs to know so he knows how much to commit, hence why they would never work out.

Aw, thank you! I thought about writing more about their backstory and how they got together but I thought it might be more fun to let the reader play with their imagination and decide for themselves. Hmm, I think the question of whether Victoire loves him or not is something she doesn't even know the answer too. :P I'm so glad that you liked it though as I was worried that it might be a little too sparse on the details.

Aw, thank you so much! ♥ I definitely had a lot of fun writing this because I think the mix of the sea and French made me very inspired and I felt braver to venture away from how I usually write.

Aw thank you so much, Laura! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #88, by AphorideBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

29th March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry about the delay - did my wrist in a couple of days ago, so I've spent the last two with it strapped up, which makes it really difficult to type :/ Anyway, I'm here now!

I've always wanted to see a story about the Longbottoms - there's something so horrifying and so awful about what happened to them that I kinda want to know about about it and them in general, you know? Like they're surprisingly interesting characters for people who barely show up in the books :P But then I do have a soft spot for minor characters... which meant that, really, when you asked me to look at this, how could I possibly resist? :P

I love how you've characterised them too - with Frank and Alice being almost a stereotypical kinda successful couple, with their careers and their children, and having almost a picture-perfect life, with the dinner and so on in the evening, only for that all to be destroyed. It makes it so heartbreaking, you know, because the little details in this really make them come alive - how proud Frank is of Benjamin, how Alice nearly gives up when she sees Benjamin killed, the fact that Alice is in slippers when the attack comes, and Frank tries to escape and perhaps would have if Benjamin hadn't been killed when he was.

The plot of this is so great, too - I love how sudden the attack is, and how it's almost calm at the beginning until Bellatrix gets into her stride. Then it's pretty terrifying. I loved the mention of Benjamin trying to defend his parents, not really knowing how and paying the price for it. Poor little guy - he just wanted to help :( I'm so curious to see where you're going to go after this with their story - how you're going to deal with them being broken and then in hospital and not recognising Neville and so on... and I just love that you've chosen this part of their lives to focus on. It's so, so sad, but so great, too.

Your writing in this is gorgeous, too. I love the way you describe things - especially the food at the beginning and Alice, too. It's so so lovely. Your dialogue too is amazing - and the details you include in this, particularly in the later section really just bring this whole thing alive, and let all the emotions in this just sort of sing almost. Like, there's so much feeling in this and your writing really lets that come to the front, which is so gorgeous, and so devastating too! ;)

This really is a lovely, lovely story - everything about this is so great! Thank you so much for the swap, and again I'm sorry this is so late! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph,

Don't worry about the timing. I figured you would get here eventually. Hopefully, your wrist is feeling better!

The Longbottoms are probably my favorite family in the entire HP universe! I love a good tragedy, so I think that has something to do with it. I've really been wanting to write about them for a long time, so it was exciting to finally get to it.

Benjamin was the hardest part of this story for me. In all honesty, I really wanted to write an AU where he survives and grows up alongside Neville, but it just wouldn't be right. He was the first OC I've ever written, so it definitely felt pretty personal killing him.

I'm so happy to hear that you think my writing is gorgeous. That really means a lot to me because I really admire your writing abilities.

Thank you so much for this lovely review!

~Kaitlin



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Review #89, by AphorideInanimate Objects: where he tried to defuse the situation and failed utterly

25th March 2015:
Hey there, Emily! :) Stopping by for our review swap - because, really, where else could I possibly go seeing the summary for this? :P

So, first of all, I should say that I love love love the concept of this. HP mixed with Beauty and the Beast? Um yes. With added humour and less overly-stereotypical romance? Definitely, yes. With Death Eaters as the characters? Omigosh, so much yes :P (And Dumbledore as the witch/wizard character? Haha, so brilliant! :P)

I love how you tied in Voldemort's appearance, too, with his snake-like Voldemort features being the Beast to Tom's beautiful, arrogant Prince :P It's such a neat version of it, and I love how Lucius is the candelabra. It suits him so, so well! Though I can't help but wonder who's going to be the clock? And does that make Rookwood Mrs Potts? :P :P Omigosh, I hope so, that's hilarious! :) (And Nott is the little teacup? :P)

Ah, I'm getting too invested in this already, and it's barely started! :P I just wanna know what happens now! You'll have to write the next chapter soon - I can bug you about it in the cabin, after all ;)

I love the way you've characterised them all. It's a humour/AU fic, but you've still retained their roles and a lot of their characteristics from canon - Tom's arrogance and haughtiness, the way the Death Eaters effectively are his servents (though it's literal here), the way Lucius Malfoy sort of scrapes and fawns before him, the mention of Rookwood and the other Death Eaters torturing... it was just all so, so good and so well placed that it didn't feel out of place or weird in this new world you've created, but it was similar enough to the HP canon world that it kept it linked, you know? It's a perfect balance between familiar and not :)

I've kinda mentioned this above, but the plot and setting of this is brilliant. I'm so excited to see you explore more of this world and for us to learn more about it - and about Belle, of course! ;) And Gaston! And well, pretty much all of the other characters!

Your writing in this is so good, too. I think it's easier to slip on quality of writing in humour because of the effort spent on making things funny, if that makes sense, but this is so lovely! Your description is so brilliant, every word is exactly right, and your dialogue is amazing. (Can you teach me how you dialogue? Pretty please? :P)

I'm going to have to leave it here because my wrist has been playing up all through this (sorry - blame the weather! ;)), but I love this and I'm totally stalking this from now on! ;)

Favouriting! :)

Aph xx

p.s. ooh, guesses for Belle... um, is it bad that I kinda want it to be Bellatrix? :P Nah, um, Harry or Ginny, maybe? Myrtle? :/ I think maybe Hermione, since she probably fits the character of Belle best, but I don't know - this is too hard! :P

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Review #90, by AphorideVictoire: The Guard

25th March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so wow. This is a brilliant opening - from the hook at the start of it, with Azkaban and Greyback and Lucius Malfoy, to the ending with Victoire and Teddy and their lovely moment, and then Izzy and the screaming. It's so pacey and dramatic and ugh. So good! :)

I'm a huge fan of mystery/dark kinda things, so I was pretty much always going to enjoy this, you know, but this is so so good. I love how you've set it up and dropped us in right at the very heart of the action at the beginning, rather than leading up to things. It makes this start off with a jolt, you know, and with a certain amount of pace to it, and makes me wonder about things from the start.

Plus, it's confusing as anything, but in a good way! :P

I love Cormac's voice in it - how he's grown up almost to be the better man, in a way, in the sense that he's not the one giving him the rubbish jobs because he doesn't like him (Harry and Ron) - and, conversely, I liked how Harry and Ron through his eyes aren't infallible. They're all such human characters, and I love it. There's something about Cormac's situation, stranded on guard duty at Azkaban for weeks on end because he once fancied Hermione, which is so sad and petty, and it's so easy to sympathise with him. Which is something I never really thought I'd say, haha!

Victoire is such an interesting character, too - I love how she sees the article and she knows what it'll mean to Teddy (and what it means to her too, ofc, but her thought is to show it to Teddy), and she's so sympathetic to him and how he feels about it. She's such a lovely character, and I like how she's a 'Claw too (of course! :P), because it also adds a different dimension to her other than that of 'standard Weasley', you know? I'm so so curious to see how all your characters - Cormac and Victoire and the rest, even the mad Death Eaters - expand throughout this.

Your writing in this is so gorgeous, too. Your descriptions at the beginning are so, so good - and your dialogue, when it appears (and don't worry, I'm a huge fan of minimalist dialogue myself ;)), is so on-point for the characters. Like, Lucius Malfoy sounds like Lucius Malfoy, you know? I especially loved your descriptions of Azkaban, and the repetition with the colour changing charms :) So lovely!

That cliffhanger at the end with the scream... O.o WAIT. OH MY GOD. Wasn't a kid called Montgomery killed by Greyback in the books? Or am I making that up? O.o I don't know, but I think so... oh my god, maybe it's to do with that?

Ah, I'm so curious :P We'll have to swap again, or I'll have to come back next week when I have spare time, just to find out if I'm right ;)

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Oh my gosh this is pretty much a dream review - I'm so so glad you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for all your kind words!

While I hate Cormac in the books, I'm a big believer that every character is the protagonist in their own story and I figured he probably had his own thoughts about everything that went down in HBP. He's a massive pain but he never actually did anything evil, and I enjoyed exploring him a bit more here. I'm glad you liked him.

My other WIP is about Gryffindors and Slytherins so I decided to make this one about Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and I'm loving it. I figured Fleur must have been pretty smart to be a Triwizard Champion, and don't really buy into the idea that every single Weasley child would end up in Gryffindor, so Victoire in Ravenclaw kind of made sense. Thank you for being so lovely about her character!

And your comment about minimalist dialogue made me smile - in my other WIP dialogue is EVERYWHERE, so this is a big change in style and it's always interesting to hear what people think of it. It's such a relief to hear it works!

I'm happy to review swap any time, just drop me a message or mention you're here to swap in your review. I loved your story so am keen to swap again :)

Thanks for such a kind, thoughtful review, and thanks for the favourite!

Emma xx


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Review #91, by AphorideLife As We Know It: chapter one

22nd March 2015:
Hey there, Erica! :) First of all, thank you so so much for the swap, it was amazing! And secondly, I should warn you, I'm not a huge Dramione fan, if I'm honest, and I haven't read any Dramione in years, but I've heard good things about yours before, so I'm sure it'll be good ;)

I love how you've set this during the sixth year, when Ron was with Lavender - it gets Ron out of the way, so to speak, for Hermione and Draco to get together, without anything horrible happening. It's such a great way of dealing with it - so much better than other ways people find, the more cliche ways.

I love as well how you've characterised Hermione - how she's so infatuated with Ron and has been for so long, and was almost half-convinced something was going to happen, only for him to then go off with Lavender instead. It's such a sad moment, you know, because it's such a real thing, so true to life and I'm sure most people have experienced something like it, even if not to that extent. I know I have. So sad - poor Hermione! :(

I love as well how you've characterised Ron - how you've very carefully avoided the stereotypical jerk!Ron presentation (which I'm so so glad for, because, tbh, I can't stand stories which do that with Ron, whatever era they're set in!), and how he almost goes over to her, how his eyes soften and then he goes back - it sort of seems to me that he doesn't really know what to do, you know? Which really just makes it all the more sad. Like, it gives this beautiful feeling of a wedge between them and sort of growing, even if neither of them - especially Ron - necessarily understands why it's there, you know?

Also, I just have to mention that I love how biased Hermione's pov is on Lavender. It's perfect, you know, because it shows this lovely, harsh, unforgiving side of Hermione a lot of people often forget, and unreliable narrators, or snippets of it, are always so so good and I love reading them.

Your Lavender is so great, too - pretty much exactly as she is in canon - a bit flighty and giggly and girly and the little mention of the Diviniation thing just rounded it all off so so well :P

Your writing in this was so so good, too - I loved the way the voice actually sounded like Hermione, you know, and was so reminiscent of her in canon. I loved how you had the 'books and cleverness' phrase into it, too - I don't know if it was intentional or not, but either way it was so good! Your description is so lovely, too - especially the bits where you talk about Hermione's feelings, and the phsysical bits, with the expressions and the actions. It's such simple stuff, but it's so evocative and so realistic, and paints the image of it all so, so well.

The whole bit with Draco hiding in the corners was so well done, too - I was so curious about who it was (well, tbh, I guessed, but you always wait for the reveal, you know? :P) and what was going to happen when she found out, and I loved how he seemed to have enjoyed watching her get so upset. It's such a Draco reaction!

This was such a brilliant opening, so true to all of the characters, and I loved the cliffhanger at the end as well - so cheeky ;) I'm so sorry this review probably doesn't match up to the one you left me, but, really, I can't find any more ways to say 'I really liked this' :P

Aph xx

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Review #92, by Aphoridemisguided ghosts: veni.

22nd March 2015:
Hey Joey! :) Stopping by for our review swap again, haha. And so the endless cycle of reviewing continues :P

Can I just say first off that I love so many elements you have in this? I love Healer!Rose, and gay!James II (if I'm honest, I prefer James II being gay and not like James I than anything else... it's just, gah, I can never resist subverting stereotypes in that way, and if most people make Al gay, then imma have me a gay/bi!James instead :P), and of course Scorp/Lysander! ;)

Anyway, moving on from that... stuff, haha, I love the way you've written Rose in this. She's just so so good. I love how she's so affected by what's happened to Ron and Willow and how she's so passionate, really, about the idea of helping, but at the same time realistic and knows it's going to be difficult to get approval for it and so get people at St Mungo's involved - but then, she's so strong at the end when she decides she's going to do it on her own. She's just such a great mix of Ron and Hermione in this, in a way which makes her totally herself, and I love it! :)

Plus, I totally agree with her about the situation - it's ridiculous! Mental health and all that jazz is one of those things which is so fascinating to think about in terms of the wizarding world and their approach, because there are so many different ways to take it. Would they be about the same, better or worse? What kind of treatments would they give? Would they even know about the same kinds of illnesses/understand them in the same way? So I'm so so excited to see you tackling this, and I love how you've taken it down the less sympathetic route - her boss sounds so rude and condescending! His opinions sound all very Death Eater-ish tbh, haha.

On that note, I love how you've had Ron struggle with it. Ron has always been, imo, the most mentally 'weak', for lack of a better word, of the three of them - the most easily influenced by things which prey on his weaknesses, the one with perhaps the traits which can lead most easily to things like ptsd, depression and anxiety, and so on. It's incredibly sad to think of, but it's a really heart-breakingly realistic portrayal of him.

(Character-wise, I don't think I need to tell you I love your Scorp and Lys and Al and Destiny? They're all awesome and you know it :P)

Your writing in this is so great, too! I know I keep saying this, but really, it's true each time, I can't help it! :P I love how you described Ron and the issues he faced and how life worked in their house - not talking about it, Hermione's brave face, almost, and so on. It was such a beautiful, real description of it, and so thoughtful, too, which I loved! As always, your dialogue is brilliant - so smooth and good and casual and ugh, I'm so jealous!

This is such a good start - I love it to pieces, and, well, I think I'm going to have to favourite this so I don't miss updates... you're making me expand my favourites page more than I'm used to you know. It's entirely your fault! ;)

(Also, I'm really, really hoping this is three chapters long in total and the chapter names will be veni vidi vici - just coz that would be awesome :P)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!! We really do so many swaps :P

I've been building up to this for a really long time. I was slyly introducing characters and plot points through one-shots for months leading up to this story. Hopefully this works as sort of a culmination of (this era of) this universe. I love bi!James here. He's incredibly fun to write, although he doesn't show up much.

I've had a really clear picture of this Rose long before I actually wrote her. Passionate is definitely a word you can use to describe her. Writing her has been such a treat.

I've made the Wizarding world about as bad about mental health as possible here honestly. And Healer Adams is a really straightforward, horrible villain. He's kind of Healer!Umbridge in that sense. I probably haven't hated any of my characters as much as him.

I certainly thought that Ron would be the most likely to have issues following the war. I think it was the way the locket affected him that made me decide to have it be him. I didn't plan to start this story as sad as I did, but that's just what I started writing when I sat down and typed.

I have way too much fun with my Scorpius/Lysander/Al/Destiny quartet. I'm not sure I ever want to stop writing them.

I'm glad the writing worked here! Especially the dialogue, because I pride myself on that :P I write dialogue so quickly compared to the rest. I just need an idea of the conversation and then I just go wherever it takes me.

I am so flattered that you favorited! ♥ Also, it totally is three chapters titled veni vidi vici. And it's thematically significant!!

Thank you for this wonderful review :)


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Review #93, by AphorideDiversions from Reality.: Afternoon Delight...

22nd March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I hope it's okay I chose this one, since I haven't read any of your big -verse, so I didn't want to jump in where I might not understand how it all works and so on. Plus, Sirius/Lily is one of those fascinating pairings where so much is possible and yet not possible, and it could be canon but could also not be, you know? :P

I love how you've characterised all of them in this - Sirius and Lily especially, but James and Remus too. There's something so real about them you know, and they really are so reminiscent of the characters from canon, too. Like, Sirius being such a rebel and not really caring about school really fits with his personality later, and I loved the little mentions of his friends and family, and how he'd thought Lily would be good for him, and then he seems to be having second thoughts after their argument. I loved Lily, too - how she was sort of almost the exact opposite, being a lot more rule-abiding and conscientious and moral, too, even if sticking by her principles didn't make things easy with Sirius - her sticking up for Snape. But then, that's always how I imagined Lily from canon, you know? Moral and principled and she almost lives and dies by them.

James and Remus were so great, popping in - especially Remus. I loved how he and Lily were friends and did rounds together, and how James was so awkward around Sirius and Lily when he walked in on them. Poor James :P

I like how you started this with an argument, too - it's such a great hook because of the glimpse of their relationship when it's good, then seeing it break. I just want to know why it's such a big thing, if they can manage to stick it out together or if they're going to split up. Poor Lily, it's so unfair for her to feel like she should do something to make it up to him; it's not her fault he refuses to talk to her. She can't make him, after all... the little glimpse of Remus defending Sirius at first, but then agreeing to help Lily makes me so curious about how the Marauders in total will get caught up in this - will they have to take sides? Will any of them side with Lily over Sirius? So many questions! :P

Your writing in this is so lovely, too - your word choice is so spot on, and your description is great; I loved how Sirius described Lily as 'holier than thou' especially. It's so fitting for how you've characterised her in this! Your dialogue really stood out to me - it really sounds like teenagers talking, you know, and it sounds so casual and easy, like a natural conversation, which is so hard to do (at least, it is for me, haha)! It's so so good! :)

As a start this is so so good - a perfect amount of information, hook and cliffhanger at the end, and character-study type introductions. It's so exciting to see you've updated it recently, too - hopefully you keep going with it - it's a brilliant start! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Well that's just made my day!! I'm so pleased you did this as one I resurrected it recently. I like to write Lily with a mischievous streak, and I like the idea of her being drawn to Sirius but being conflicted by her morals at the same time. I don't want to give anything away but there is another pairing I'm planning on here...

And thank you, I love writing dialogue, it seems to flow quite easily for me and, I'm happy it sounds age appropriate :)

Thank you so much, I shall try and do a couple more of yours over the week

Sophie xxx


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Review #94, by AphorideA Single Point In Time: 1982

15th March 2015:
Hey there, dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry this is so late - I was painting my nails and then having dinner with a friend, so it ended up being a lot later than I thought!

I really, really loved this - this is such a beautiful, bittersweet story. It's so emotive, and so upsetting - like, you feel sorry for both Petunia and Harry, you know, and it's hard to explain, but you do.

Your characterisation is amazing. You've written Petunia so so well, it's almost as though she's stepped straight out of the canon books and into this. She's so amazingly perfect, seriously. I have no idea how you've done it; it blows my mind. I loved how she didn't quite seem to understand how to feel towards Harry, or how to act towards her. There's this kind of sense of confusion, of almost fear, with her, especially when she essentially wakes up Dudley, just to see him and hold him, because he's her son, and Harry isn't. It's almost like she needs the comfort of having Dudley, to offset the loss of knowing what to do with Harry. She can deal with Dudley, but she doesn't know what to do with Harry.

Which is especially hard considering that he's just another baby, and her nephew, so it shouldn't necessarily be that hard, you know?

I loved as well how you touched on her relationship with Lily - how she knew she didn't miss Lily enough, or the way that she should. There's something almost sadder about her knowing she should miss her sister more and not being able to, than if she didn't know.

Your writing in this, again, is amazing, just as it was in the first one. You're so so good at pulling emotion out of words and the story in general - this is packed full of emotions, and it really does make you feel everything Petunia does - and your description is gorgeous. I especially loved the way you described baby Harry - the one phrase 'the boy was a memento' was so heartbreaking in what it meant, and it almost suggested that they could never have had a normal aunt-nephew relationship; there's just so much underlying that.

This really is such a beautiful story collection, and each chapter itself is amazing. So, so good! :) Thank you so much for the swap!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Heya!

No don't worry about it ~ I've taken a million years to respond to this because I literally didn't know what to say! This review was so incredibly awesome, so thank you so much!

Petunia was interesting to write because I have so many mixed feelings about her, and I'm really glad that you managed to feel some of her confusion in this chapter. And I'm also SO glad you enjoyed the swap - you are absolutely so kind, thank you so much :D

Eek, your reviews are the best ♥

Laura xxx


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Review #95, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: The Nightmare Before Christmas

12th March 2015:
Hello again! :D Review number five! :) I have to say that I love The Nightmare Before Christmas - it's such a great film, and the title of it is so appropriate for this chapter!

(Oh, speaking of, I should say that with last chapter's title, I love Emerson, too! :D He's not my favourite poet, but he's so good!)

Again, your characterisation is so, so lovely. I loved how you had Rose stand up for herself against Scorpius and be so mortally embarassed by the argument - I think if that had been me I'd have literally melted into a puddle, haha. It was a great pair of moments to have together, you know, with their contrasting versions of Rose: one where she's so strong, and the other where she's almost helpless, in the sense that there's not really anything she can do about it, and she doesn't really know what to do, you know? It's a nice evolution of her character, I think, and it's so great to see someone showing just how much our characters and personalities change according to our moods and emotions. It's so true to life and I just love it.

I felt so sorry for Scorpius last chapter, but in this one... he's kind of a jerk. I mean, the whole argument thing really, really isn't cool. So unnecessary, and stupid - but I guess it's true enough to life and teenagers :P Yeah, he really didn't deserve Rose forgiving him so easily for that one! Her ending quip was pretty good, too - can you please teach me how you write snappy lines like that? Pretty please? I've never been able to do it...

Ohmygosh, I'm totally with Rose on Dom, too - though knowing you, this might well be a 'for the moment' kind of thing - she really does seem so self-serving and self-interested. I really can't believe she has any reason for Rose not to tell everyone what happened other than that I imagine both Bill and Fleur would flip completely. Almost a shame Rose is too embarassed by it to reveal it, tbh. Dom would deserve everything coming to her on that front!

I'm on two minds about Albus so far... I like that he maybe was trying to stand up for Rose, but the argument itself is horrible for her to sit through. Good intentions, bad result? Eh, I don't know... I'm reserving judgment on him for now :P

Your dialogue in this was especially amazing - I loved so many lines in this - Rose's last one to Scorpius, Rose's to Dom, Teddy's to Hugo (though maybe get rid of the 'please leave' from Rose to Dom - it seems a bit repetitive? Like she's said, get out already, you know?). Your description too - especially of Rose with the embarassment at the beginning, in the hall; that was so well described I could literally see it in my head and everything - the feelings and sense of it was so real.

I'm so looking forward to seeing chapter 6 when it's up (soon, maybe? Perhaps? Yes? No? I'll trade you a chapter of L'optimisme? Two? :P) - I really hope Rose, or Hugo, gets back at Hooper for that. Horrible stunt to pull! Poor Hugo... he's so sweet, too!

Anyway, I'm so looking forward to seeing where you go with this, and I'm favouriting so I can stalk this more closely :)

Aph xx

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Review #96, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: The Outsiders

12th March 2015:
Hi again, Joey! :D Review number four... and I'm already hoping you get another chapter up soon so we can just keep going ;)

I'm so so picky about characterisation in stories, I have to admit - it's one of the biggest things which turns me off books and ffs - and yours is just amazing. I love so much how all of your characters are complex, none of them are always right or wrong, they're all layered individuals, with reasons and myriad of personality traits. It's so so good, and I really can't get enough of it. Plus, I love as well how you turn normal characterisations of characters on their heads, like with Albus, and explore them deeper, too, than a lot of other authors. It's so impressive! :)

I loved how in this chapter you showed different, new sides to both Rose and Scorpius - especially in the end scene, with them as ickle firsties on the train together :P I loved how neither of them was really right - though I do feel a little more sorry for Scorpius, being so nervous and so sure everyone would bring up his family and be so rude about it (and who knows if Rose would have been or not?)... he's only eleven years old, but it seems like such a burden for him, you know? And it's so unfair for him to have to carry it. That being said, I loved how Rose wasn't exactly a pushover either - she wasn't rude, but she wasn't overly welcoming/friendly, either. It's hard to describe, but I just loved the sort of sense of tension, or apprehension from her character in that.

Of course, Albus just laughs like a mad hyena :P Typical of him!

I loved seeing the protective older-sister side of Rose come out, too. I'd have liked for her to maybe be a bit direct about it, rather than say, 'I'll tell these other people who'll do something', because those kinds of threats are far less effective, but, tbh, it's a very teenager-type thing to do, you know? Rely on other people, people who you perceive to be stronger - and then as you grow, you realise you are one of those people :) So I'm looking forward to seeing her hex them in the future ;) (They deserve it!)

(Also, that conversation with Hugo was amazing. It reminds me so much of when my sister came out to me and my other sister. Though we were more like 'we already know' :P But yeah, the teasing afterwards was so spot on for siblings! :D)

Hugo and Lysander! :D I have to be honest, I did wonder before, but I thought I was just seeing pretty blonde gay guys everywhere, haha, but I'm so glad to see it's true! They sound like such a cute pairing! :)

Your writing, as always, is so so lovely. Your dialogue is always your strongest part, and it's no different in this. I love your description too - each word is so well-placed, and right to describe exactly what you mean, and you're so good at getting the emotion out of the chapter.

So, so great... off to chapter 5! :D

Aph xx

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Review #97, by AphorideChai, Carrots, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Carrots, and a Surprise

11th March 2015:
Hey there! :) When I saw you post in review tag, I couldn't resist jumping in behind you to come back to this series. It's such a beautiful collection, I just love them all.

I've been trying to work out while reading this why it's so good, and I'm not sure I've really succeeded - or that I'll be able to explain it - but I think it's because it's so real, you know? It feels like it is something which could happen to real people in a real place in real time. On top of that, it's cute without being overly sweet or quite fluffy, and it's romantic without being cliched. It's such a perfect balance you've found in this, it really is, and there's a warmth in it which I don't even know how you make it - can you please tell me your secret? :P

No, seriously, it's an amazing sense you get in here - your description is gorgeous, and so evocative of the mood, and the setting, so much so that you can almost feel Neville's nerves yourself when you're reading it.

Speaking of, I love Neville and Hannah, too. I think I've said this before in previous reviews, but they're so, so wonderfully done. Neville still has that faintly bumbling air about him which he has in canon, but he's obviously grown up since then, and he's this wonderful mix of faintly incompetent adult and overenthusiastic teenager. Hannah is just perfect. I think I said before that she's essentially now my headcanon for Hannah, so really all I can say for her is repeat that :) I'm also so impressed by how consistent your characterisation is with them - it's so hard, to keep it the same across different stories and in longer things, but you do it so, so well.

I just have to say that the comment about the 'excessive pruning' made me laugh out loud. (And I suppose the answer is that it depends on what is being pruned, but let's leave that subject for now :P)

I'm always so fascinated by the elements of Hindi and Indian culture you put in, with the food. I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of carrots and vegetables in sweet things in general, so I may not be the ideal audience for a carrot-related pudding, haha, but you make it sound so nice that I kinda want to try it anyway. Plus, it's exciting because these are things I'm unlikely to hear much about in RL, so really I can only thank you for introducing me to them through this - I love love love learning about other cultures, so this is so great for me :)

The ending was so sweet, with the Valentine's Day mention and the kiss and Hannah's shock (good shock!) and then the acceptance! :) I'm so glad they're finally dating - it was about time :P

This is such a great series. I'm totally in love with it, as you already know ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Heya! Lovely to hear from you again :)

I'm glad that you feel that they're real. Fluff is my bread and butter, but I wanted something a little more for these two. I'm so happy that you feel like I've found a balance! I couldn't ask for more.

Haha, Neville is a lot of fun to write, and the glee that I take in making him so nervous must come through a little bit in my writing!

I wanted to write Neville as someone who's still so completely himself, despite being such a hero. He still has the same hangups as a lot of us, he's trying to figure out what being an adult means, and he's still dorky as anything. I channelled a lot of Arthur Weasley into his characterisation, actually - I feel like both Neville and Arthur are two of the most normal people in the series. And yes! Invading headcanons like nobody's business! Huzzah!

Only Neville would even consider the question of excessive pruning, let's be honest :P

I'm feeling especially proud to have almost converted a non-believer to carrot-themed desserts. Mission accomplished. What more could I want from my description? Thank you.

It was so about time for these two! But I feel like for these two, good things come for those who wait.

Thanks so much for this lovely review :)


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Review #98, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: The Art of Getting By

11th March 2015:
Hi again, Joey! :) Imma try and get all of these done before the uni internet decides it wants to throw another hissy fit and the IT guys refuse to fix it until 1pm the next day (again) :P Besides, I'm enjoying this story so much it seems foolish to wait :)

I love how your chapters continue on from each other so smoothly, and how so much of this is about exploring the after-effects of the event, without having it be overly-romantic and Rose be all 'oohhh, actually, I really love him' and so on. It's a really nice, original take on the love potion theme (which can work so well, anyway), and you've got so many interesting ideas and approaches and reactions to it in here.

I've got to say as well, that I love things with a family-centric vibe to them too. It's not often explored in ff, but I love it because it was inherently central to HP, you know, and it's such an important aspect of people's lives. Plus, it offers up so much opportunity for comedy, drama, etc. ;) So yeah, I love the family angle on it, with Al and Dom being the perpetrators, and Hugo being on Rose's side, and her friends and Hugo being so shocked that Al and Dom were behind it because they're family, and family doesn't usually do that. It also means you have brilliantly unique portrayals of Al and Dom, which I love.

I loved the scene with Al and Dom, and how Rose refused to accept their apologies. She has a point, really, in refusing to let it go so easily, and I love how she isn't and how they're so confident that she will. It really speaks volumes about what they think about the severity of it, you know? I mean, they could have killed their cousin, but nah, it's cool. Mad people. But they're brilliant characters. Hugo too - I love how laidback he is, and he sounds just like me concerning Sundays :P Sundays are a rest day, therefore I sleep *nods* Perfect logic. Also, I love how protective he is of his sister (though not to the point of getting out of bed to go down to breakfast with her, haha), again it's something I can relate to so well! :) seriously, you are so good at making your characters relatable. It's pretty amazing.

I loved the chats with Professor Spinnet, and her friends, too. It's so true that a Professor would get involved after that kind of incident, especially when it's a student like Rose who's not known for it, and I liked the little mentions of 'I wouldn't want to have to call your mother' and 'you can always talk to me'. They're such classic teacher lines and give Professor Spinnet so much authenticity as a teacher. Plus, that game with her friends - Secret Circle - sounds so much fun to play! It reminds me a lot of Never Have I Ever and similar games :)

Your writing in this, as always, is so so good. Your dialogue is super-strong, your description is lovely, especially how you describe emotions, and I love the style of this. It's so suited to the characters, and to the themes and setting of the story too.

This is going so so well - I'm so curious to know what happens and I'm so hooked into the story. You really know how to work your cliffhangers ;)

Aph xx

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Review #99, by AphorideBruises : Bruises

11th March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

So I'm not usually a fan of Sirius/OC, tbh, because I find most of them are too light-hearted for Sirius (I have way too much headcanon about him, lol), but this sounded so interesting and I love darker takes on the First Wizarding War and all that kind of thing.

I love the way with this, it focused less on their relationship and more on the effects of the betrayal, the hurts of the war in general. For me, who's not such a big romance fan, it was so perfect, in the sense it gave. There's this lovely feeling throughout it all of tension, that these people, all of the characters, are hurting so much from what's happened, that it's so easy to feel like you're about to give up, and that maybe you should because it would be better. It's not something I've seen used in ff very often, so I loved seeing it in this! :)

The way you characterised both Sirius and Emmeline was so, so great (and, as a little thing, I was so happy to see you give Peter a role in this, as so many stories just leave him out or ignore him). I loved the differences in their attitudes: how Sirius was so determined to keep going, even despite the losses but so suspicious of Peter at the same time, and how Emmeline was finding the losses so much harder to take, and finding it harder to be optimistic about it. I think they're both such natural reactions to a situation like that, and I can totally sympathise with Emmeline for the pessimism over it. They're such wonderful characters :)

Your writing in this is so great, too. Your description is so lovely, even if it's so sad, with all the dark colourings and the dramatic reactions to stress and things (like with Peter), and your use of smell within the story - it really brought the story to life, you know, and gave it almost a three-dimensional aspect which I love. I loved the way you used dialogue, too - it was so great, and again, so evocative of the mood.

The only thing I noticed which was a bit odd was Emmeline saying 'Lupin' instead of 'Remus'. Would she not think of him as Remus? It just seemed a little weird given all of the rest of them were referred to by their first names, except him... :/

Apart from that, though, this was so, so great. You write the dark aspect of it so well, and the way you handled the grief theme in it was so lovely - it was so bittersweet, in a way, for so much of this, and then the ending just... it was so sad, you know, because for Emmeline so much of what and who she knew is gone :( So heartbreaking.

Thank you so much for saying to read this - it's a lovely, lovely piece and I'm so glad we swapped! :)

Aph xx

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Review #100, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: It's Kind of a Funny Story.

11th March 2015:
Joey! I'm back! :D I'd ask if you missed me, but we both know the answer to that ;) Sorry for the delay in getting back to this, the residence internet decided to take a long walk off a short cliff yesterday evening. Anyway, I'm here now!

I love your characterisation of Rose. I know I said that before (I think), but it's true! She's such a lovely character, and you write her in such a way that it's so easy to identify with her. She's so real, and all her reactions are so real - like, I know so many people, myself included, who'd react like that, or similarly, if they found themselves in the same situation. Personally, you'd have to remove anything potentially harmful from the room before letting Albus in to see me if I were Rose :P I like as well how Scorpius does make her think, too, with the unusual behaviour at the beginning; it speaks very nicely to Hermione's intelligence coming through Ron's tact (or lack of) :P

I love your... okay, so I was about to list off all of your characters I love in this and then realised I would name them all, so I love them all, mkay? They're all so real, again, which I love about characters, and they all are so multi-faceted, and ambiguous and almost unpredictable because of it. I love Scorpius, of course, and how he seemed to want to suggest that maybe they could be friends, or something like that, and how he was so competitive when she told him it was impossible because of him. And Al... being so terrified - and rightfully so! - though not quite ashamed of his actions, and sort of trying to pass off blame onto Dom, rather than accept it. And her friends, too, who are so sure they know her better than she knows herself. They're all so, so good, and I'm looking forward to seeing how they develop later on, too - because I have a feeling you're going to take them in interesting ways ;)

A little thing, but I liked how Rose chose not to dump Albus in it with Scorpius, too. It was a strangely sweet moment (right before she chewed him out, haha).

Your writing in this is so lovely, too. You're always so good at making things emotive, and really injecting emotion into a story - Rose's distrust of Scorpius comes through so well at the beginning, and her doubtfulness at the end with her friends making the bet. I don't think I need to tell you the anger came through, haha ;) I love the way you use Rose's internal voice, too - it's such a gorgeous way of writing and you do it so, so well.

(Btw, we should totally swap beautiful blonde boys at some point. Mine are all gay, and yours is at least more interested (or seems to be) in women than mine are :P)

You've left this on such a cliffhanger, too - I'm so glad this swap is for five chapters, because that last line is so great (like, seriously, it could have come out of a conversation with me and my sisters, it's perfect), and there's the whole hook with the bet between Rose and her friends, and Rose and Scorpius' unspoken one. It's so, so good, and so tantalising a point to leave it on.

Imma see you in the next chapter ;)

Aph xx

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