Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
  
433 Reviews Found

Review #51, by AphorideThe New Creative Arts Department: that time when i started a newspaper

1st February 2015:
Hi there, Joey and Lisa! (You know, I'm gonna have to find some kind of collective noun for you guys... alternatively you guys can come up with one and just let me know, that works too... mostly coz I'm lazy and typing out Joey and Lisa every time is going to be long (since, you know, I'm probably going to be stalking this story ;P))

I love the idea of having an arts department at Hogwarts! I mean, it makes so much sense - they had a choir after all, so why not music lessons and painting and writing classes and things? (Any dance, coz that's like, my other arty passion, apart from writing ;D) but no, it's such a cool idea, and I love that you guys have done it because this kind of story deserves/needs snappy, witty dialogue and you guys are both so, so good at it. Like this - “So, can you write?”

“Can you breathe?”

Landon thought about the question. “Well, I’ve got asthma…” made my laugh out loud. Properly. My floormates probably think I'm mad or something... :P

The characters at first glimpse are so good, too - I love how they're so friendly with each other, and so easy to get to know and like. You have this strangely almost creepy way of getting me invested in your characters, in a way which is almost annoying, because I'm not used to being invested in characters, especially nice ones :P Normally I love the evil ones (strange crush of Joffrey, anyone? :P). What are you guys doing to me? Also, I love how different they all are - already you're establishing characteristics for them, like some being more confident about themselves than others, them all doing the course for different reasons, and having different strengths. It's hinting at a great story in the future! :)

I love the writing in this, too. I think the dialogue is the strongest point, but everything in this is so amazing. It flows so beautifully - and everything just fits to well together. I loved the introduction of the student newspaper, and having Teddy as the teacher, mahaha! Rose will sure have fun with that :P (Though I do pity Teddy a bit... is that wrong?) Plus, all the details - like Scorpius choosing his name was so funny, and Connor's disinterest in the course... they're so good at introducing the characters.

This is such a brilliant beginning, too - I'm so excited to see what's going to happen next, romantically with the characters, with the student newspaper and what other initiatives they're going to start up. And when exactly Teddy's going to end up having a nervous breakdown :P

Loved this beginning! :) Favouriting!

Aph xx

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Review #52, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: A Brand New Year

1st February 2015:
Hey there! :) Stopping by for our review swap! I was so glad you said this story, because I was wanting to come back to it anyway, so it all worked out pretty nicely ;)

I really liked this chapter, too - I liked how it linked up so cleverly with Albus' Story, and brought elements from there into play, with mention of Roxanne's crush on Scorpius, and Scorpius asking Fred out and all... there's something so awesome about sequel stories which do that - and I love it! :) Plus, it's so believable too, because things like that usually end up coming out at some point, you know? Though James didn't have to keep pushing the point, really - even if maybe he didn't mean to upset Albus quite like that (but he should have known! Annoying boy :P). Poor Al... and poor Scorp, too - no one wants to feel guilty over something they shouldn't be guilty about, especially when it happened years ago.

As before, in the first chapter and in the prequel, I love the characterisation of everyone in this - I love the relationships between them all, too. They're all so real, and the characters are all so real, too - like they could actually exist, you know? Which is something I love to pieces in stories! :)

I really liked the little glimpses of people like Colin and one of the girls who looked away, because it sort of hints at later drama, at potential difficulties they're going to face (which will then cause drama for Al and Scorp between themselves because Al will use it as reasons why they should never have opened up about their relationship I KNOW IT, and gah, that's just so cruel!), but it was so subtle. Little things people don't usually think about doing, you know? And that makes it almost worse, in a way...

The way you write everything in this - characters, relationships, emotions - is just so vivid. Like it always leaps out at me and gets me invested in the story and hoping that nothing bad will happen to then, that they'll all be happy and all that kind of stuff, you know? It's real talent! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I'm so looking forward to reading more of this, we're gonna have to do some more at some point ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: I'm sorry I took a while to respond! Thanks for a wonderful review, I don't really know how to respond properly... I'm blushing! :-)

I'm thrilled that you liked the chapter, and that you find the small details and references to the prequel.

Oh yes, there's drama to come, and Colin is here for a reason. ;-)

Thanks for a great swap and for your kind words!

Molly


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Review #53, by AphorideThe Many Jobs of Remus Lupin : The Many Jobs of Remus Lupin

1st February 2015:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :) I just had to click on this story because Remus is one of those characters I have a bit of a soft spot for, what with his tragic backstory and all, and I love seeing different people's portrayals of him. Plus, I always want to make that little '0' tick over to '1' ;)

I really loved this - I love the whole concept of it so much, too! It's so true that Remus would have had whole hordes of jobs after leaving school and being hired at Hogwarts and then the return of Voldemort and his missions and so on... and it's even more true that most of them were probably very short and not-very-good jobs, too. Poor guy, he gets such a bad lot in life... :(

You have his character down pat, though - I love how you've got all his little quirks in, and all those traits of his we see in canon: how he's the more serious of the Marauders (as far as we know), how he struggles with money, how he doesn't view serious topics as sources of humour, how he's really kinda incapable of keeping Sirius from doing what he wants :P The little details you used to describe him and all were so good too - I loved the reference to the bags under his eyes, the scars and the patches on his robes. And then Remus losing his temper eventually, but being embarrassed by it, was just so perfectly him! :D

Sirius was so great, too! I'm not always a massive fan of Siriuses in fic, but I loved him in this! His playful attitude was so right for him - and I loved how bored he was and just kept on irritating Remus because it was something to do. Still, all the cheerfulness to me seems to hint at someting darker underneath, you know, and I like that subtlety to it - like he's exaggerating it because he's not toally happy. Maybe that's just my interpretation, but I like that I can do that with this :)

Remus really should never have let Sirius watch tv, though. Or near a camera :P

I actually really liked the scene in the shop, even though it was so bad for poor Remus... it was funny! :P I loved how the shop owner didn't really care, and went on his lunch break suspiciously early... and then how his coworker sort of deliberately got him fired by doing the same and knowing he wouldn't be able to handle it. Nasty pair, those two - though I do wonder if they're kinda in cahoots, though what about or why I dunno... :P I love little details, though - all the mentions of the best-selling books were so, so good - and I always appreciate little jibes at The Book Which Shall Not Be Named ;) The mad fans were such a nice touch, too - it's so true of bookstores on days books like that come out. Insane. This is why I preorder stuff! :P

You are so, so good at writing humour, too - I'm so jealous of that! Please tell me your secret for it? ;) Pretty please? :P Your writing in this is so lovely - it flows so perfectly and everything.

So yeah, I really, really enjoyed reading this. I think this is going to have to go on my favourites so I can see all the other (hopefully/undoubtedly) horrible and funny jobs Remus gets! :)

Aph xx

p.s. thank you so, so much for the two reviews you left me - I really didn't expect to get a second one at all, and it completely made my day, so thank you! :)

Author's Response: Oh wow, what a master review. Where to begin?!

I love Remus and I wanted to hit all of those things. He's the serious one but he still has a little edge to him. I can see him blowing up once someone pushes him far enough and Sirius and him living together. Originally I was going to have Peter pop in and James as well but there's something about Remus/Sirius and their friendship that I had to make the focus for at least part of the story. I've never really written them before so it was a nice challenge and I didn't want to focus on love or a relationship because who really has time to be in a relationship when they're broke and trying to fight a war.

This was also going to be a short story collection of different jobs Remus had to take in order to survive but since Sirius and his other friends would have to eventually make their exit I didn't want to get away from the humor of the story so I stopped here.

Exactly! Sirius isn't happy. That's why he bothers Remus. They make biting jokes at each other because they can but he is bored and he knows he could be doing more and wants to do more but he doesn't necessarily have to. Plus, I don't think Sirius likes to be left alone (which was why I was going to add Peter into the mix) and he would be a little offended because he can take care of Remus.

Okay, honestly, I got the idea of the shop owner and the employee from actual retail experience. I worked in retail for many years in different stores and the customers that come in! I had a customer spit on me before. Others sneeze on you. Of course you have the yellers, the old woman fighting over skirts and other things for their grandchildren and the horrible managers that could care less about your sanity or your safety. So I took from my experience but embellished it a little bit.

I'm a bit rusty. I wrote half of this story in 2012 and then half of it now in 2015 so I'm glad you liked it from the beginning to the end. I'm tempted to write a second part now! What are you doing to me! :D

No problem. I really enjoyed your story. There's one more I added to my reading list that sounds so interesting. Your writing is superb! Thanks so much for the lovely review.


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Review #54, by AphorideAll or Nothing: there is a light that never goes out

31st January 2015:
Hi there! :) Dropping by for our exchange! I have to be honest, I was so excited to see I got paired with you this month because this story just looked so fascinating - I do love a good Bellatrix story and it's been ages since I read one!

And this was so good! :) I love the way you've presented Bellatrix in this - how she progresses from a cruel, but not evil, child, to such a determined, almost reckless teenager, to the madwoman we all know and love from the books :P There's something almost lovely (I say 'almost' because it is a want to hurt other people and all...) about the middle section: when Bella falls in love with the mystery woman, and they talk about conquering together, about staying side-by-side, even knowing the limitations their society would put on them. It's such a strong, powerful feeling there - the way you write it just pulls it through the words, it's so gorgeous! And that's a little bit strange, because it's not an emotion I usually associate with Bellatrix :P

The way you developed that relationship was simulatenously so sad (because we knew where it was going to end, and how it sort of had to end, before the beginning), but so bittersweet, too, because there was always this sort of memory, especially in the last section, and this sort of feeling with Bellatrix that maybe she still cared, even if just a little. If she was wondering about Mystery Woman more than Narcissa and them, it's kinda suggestive, you know ;)

You know, this is written for the Reset the Default Challenge, and, tbh, I think you've reset it perfectly, because I didn't even think anything about the sexuality of the characters or the nature of the relationship. It was just not really important, with the way you portrayed them and how you wrote their relationship - gender/sexuality didn't matter, it was a beautiful relationship and that was enough, you know? Yeah, that was so well done! :)

I loved your writing in this, too. I've already said (I think so, at any rate...) that you could really feel the emotion coming through the words, that there was this beautiful sense of love and passion and drive and determination, and all of those things which are so typically Bellatrix, and reflected their relationship. Like, you didn't just read it, you sort of felt it too, and you wanted them to be together, even though you knew it wasn't going to end that way. So sad, and so cruel of you! ;)

Even if I never thought of it before, this pairing makes sense. It just works, and you make me ship it! :)

So yeah, I really love this fic - it's so good, in every way, from the way you characterise Bella (the beetle-stamping thing was so in-character for all three Black sisters!), and the way you develop such a beautiful, even if desperately sad by the end, relationship. You make me feel for Bella, because we see her side, and this woman, in her mind, betrayed her and left. It's almost heartbreaking! :(

I loved this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Laura!! I'm so sorry for taking ages to reply to this, it was such a wonderful review! Aw, I'm really glad you were excited to read this - I was stoked to get the chance to read some more of your wonderful work as well. :D

Thank you so much for what you said in that second paragraph, and how it felt strong and beautiful - that is such a compliment. I was definitely intending to show her impressive strength of character without changing her into a good person, yet still putting something of a good light on her.

I'm glad you liked the bittersweet development of their relationship. I like to think that she does stilll care, at least sometimes, but of course that is for only Bellatrix to know and for us to wonder :p And thanks, I'm so glad you liked the way I reset the default! I didn't want to make it the point of the story or draw any special attention to her sexuality, only to write a relationship how it was. I'm so glad you liked how I approached it.

Wow, thank you! It is really so wonderful to hear that you could feel the emotion while reading this and that you liked the writing style. It was really a challenge for me and so this is just amazing to hear. Thank you!

ooh, I'm glad you ship the pairing haha! I had never thought much about Bella before writing this but once I did stop to consider, I think this is the way I've always envisioned Bellatrix to be honest, and this story just gave me the opportunity to put a voice to it.

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this fic, and that you liked the characterisation of all three of the sisters in that first scene. And most of all I'm glad it made you (almost) sympahise with Bella and feel sad that the relationship ended in betrayal (as she views it).

Thank you so much for this incredible review!!


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Review #55, by AphorideTrue Romance: Simple Song

25th January 2015:
Hey there, Rose! Sorry for this being a little bit late in getting to you, but my friend stopped round and I got completely distracted from the internet :P

I really can't believe this is finished! It seems like only recently it was being started... and Pure Romance before it... it's been, what? A year? Less? Something like that... wah, I'm so pleased for you but so sad coz this is the end of Albus and Brandon's story (though maybe minor appearances in Lily/Lysander? ;D).

I love how you've ended this though. It feels like this and Pure Romance have come full circle - with Al and Scorp starting out as friends, and then ending as friends, and both being secure in where they are and who they are and all that kind of stuff. There's something lovely about that - that they remained friends even after the love and the heartbreak and everything.

It was such a sweet scene with the two of them - so appropriate! And I love how Scorpius is so in love with Corbin (even if I'm not Corbin's biggest fan :P), and how Albus is so in love with Brandon, and both their lives are moving on - it's so nice to see people get happy endings for once! (I've been watching GoT recently, lol)

I'm so excited for the Lily/Lysander story (and I really hope it is Lily/Lysander, he sounds so good for her!), and I may pop by your story request thread soon with a plunny ;) But we'll see! For now, I'm just so happy with the ending of this - it's so nice! :D

Thank you so much for writing this story - I've loved it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #56, by AphorideChai, Samosas, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Samosas, and a Surprise

17th January 2015:
Hi there - stopping by from Review Tag! :) I've seen this story mentioned around the forums a couple of times, and its sequel more recently, but I thought it'd probably make more sense if I came and read this one first, rather than going straight to the sequel ;)

I really loved this - it's such a beautiful, heart-warming and incredibly unique one-shot. There's some to wonderful about such an almost simple scene, but so perfectly written and so sweet, and emotional - in a good way :P

You know, before I read this I'd never really thought much about Hannah Abbott, or what I thought about her, but I love love love your interpretation of her as having an Indian background, whether only through one parent or both. It's such an interesting idea, and I love how easily it fits into canon, and how well it fits with her - it's just great! I love finding little head-canon things like that, it's why this world is so much fun to play with! :) As well, I love how sweet Hannah is, with her whole demeanor, but also how she doesn't really want Neville there at the beginning, she's almost nervous with him there, and how she talks about being a Healer and how it was hard and stressful and almost boringly annoying with the wand stories (and omigosh, that is so true to life - I have cousins in medicine, and you should here their muggle equivalent stories! :P), and how she didn't mind working at the Leaky, even though it wasn't a particularly big or important job. There's something so nice about seeing a character who isn't massively impressive with a brilliant job, and it's so realistic too, which I love.

Neville is just love. He's so oblivious and so almost stubborn about not leaving, and the little moment when he tells her where his room is - haha, that's me when I'm nervous! Talking too much about random stuff :P He's so, so well characterised, and he really feels like the Neville from the books and films - the guy who's matured into the leader of the DA, and kills Nagini.

Your writing in this is amazing, too. I love all the little details in here - especially all the little mentions of Indian cuisine and all the Hindi words (it really makes me feel like I've learned something) - and your description is so, so lovely. Cooking is really hard to write, because it's essentially almost a list of actions, one after another, but you do it so well, with all the interactions between Neville and Hannah tucked up in it that it just is so, so great to read, and so fascinating. Again, I love how it's a small moment, not their first date or first kiss or wedding day or something, just an interaction between two people, and yet it's so heartwarming and so lovely. It's amazing, really.

So, yeah, I'm kinda in love with this one-shot now :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Heya! Thanks for dropping in :)

Ah! Thank you so much! I'm so so so pleased that you liked it!

I hadn't really thought much about Hannah Abbot either until I read something on Pottermore about her. I didn't really think about it much at the time, but somehow she stayed with me. I'm glad she did, because this one-shot was just so much fun to write. I've come to realise that a lack of information about minor characters is actually a blessing in disguise, because I can do stuff like this and that's just too amazing an opportunity to pass up. Hannah is a delight to write. She's hesitant to let people into her life, but Neville being Neville just barges in anyway. And again, Neville being Neville, is eventually accepted. And aren't mundane medical stories the best? I love them so much!

Haha, I'm glad you like Neville! I'm always nervous to write him but he's just been so well-received and I'm just so happy about that! I like to imagine that he just waltzes into situations and soldiers on until people accept his presence. And I'm a nervous babbler too!

Ah! Thank you so much! Description is a beast. I'm sort of flattered that you feel as if you've learnt something :P Cooking is hard to write, because essentially you're basically rewriting a recipe. It's weird, but fun. And yes! I toyed with the idea of making the moment more "significant" but I think the moment they meet and become friends is probably the most significant of all.

Thanks so much for the lovely review :)


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Review #57, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: An Awkward Dinner

16th January 2015:
Hi there! :) So I was so glad to see you ask for this to be reviewed because, I don't know if you remember, but I was such a fan of the prequel to this, Albus' Story, and I love that you're doing a sequel to it! :)

I love how you start this off with them visiting Scorpius' parents, too. It's such a big moment for both of them - and one which is always going to be hard - and I love stories which do that: drop you right in amongst the action at the beginning, rather than sort of warming up a bit, you know? Plus, it gives this lovely chance for us to see how comfortable they are as a couple, and how settled, you know, even though they're still pretty young.

And, tbh, as before, I love your characterisation of them. They have a pretty mature relationship, and they've both obviously grown up a bit since the last story - though it's still clear they're both teenagers. It's amazing how you managed to get that feel, from the characters, that they're so grown up and independent and mature, and yet the sense form the outside that they're not completely finished yet, that they still have ways to go with growing up and things.

Their relationship is so sweet, too - and I loved the awkwardness at Malfoy Manor, with Scorpius' parents, weird as it sounds. It was just so well written, that I could sort of feel the tension in the room, and sense the way that Scorpius and Astoria were desperately trying to sort of save the evening and keep the conversation going. Both their nerves at the beginning were so lovely, too, and again, so visible in the writing - and totally merited! I mean, Draco is a bit of a jerk about the whole thing... grr.

That being said, I like how Draco and Astoria, Astoria especially, seem to be trying to come to terms with it and what it means for their family, even if they find it hard. Often that kind of struggle is overlooked in ff (and even in of at times) and it's something so lovely to see, because it means that those people find the person involved worth more to them than their opinions, you know? And, imo, that's beautiful. Plus, it leaves me hopeful that Draco might come round in the end and be happy for Scorpius, even if I imagine he'll never be completely happy that Scorpius chose Albus Potter, of all people :P

But yes, I love this story - I'm so glad you posted this, and I'm so curious about where this is going to go in future chapters! Your characters as always are brilliant, and your writing is lovely, as usual :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I didn't think anybody still remembered Albus's Story. I'm glad you do, though! :-)

Yes, both Albus and Scorpius are mature in some ways, but at least Albus has some quite immature sides too, which will show later on.

Draco will probably never fully appreciate Albus as Scorpius's significant other, but I think that he'll accept him more and more. Probably, you'll never know... ;-)

Thanks again for your kind review!

Molly :-)


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Review #58, by AphorideSeven: Seven is the most magical of numbers.

16th January 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I really hope you're not sick of reviews for this story - sorry if you are! (Please forgive me!) - but I (somehow) didn't realise you had a Sirius story and just had to stop by on it, because I do love Sirius... :)

I just want to say, first, how impressed I am with the multiples-of-seven word paragraphs. It's all microfiction, and that in itself is amazing (I'm terrible at it - so terrible, I've never tried it because it terrifies the life out of me), but you do it so well, and to do it all in multiples of seven words on top of that is nothing short of brilliant. I mean, I don't even know how you'd go about doing something like that, and you just crack this out and it's amazing :)

I love how you characterised Sirius, as well. You really brought out the light and dark in him, and the madness he gets from Azkaban is visible towards the end, with the references to the beast wanting to escape, and how he almost considers himself as Padfoot, and the repetition of 'It was Peter'. I loved how you emphasised the lightness in him, too, when he was with Dorcas and how he loved her almost carefully, as though he was afraid he'd hurt her or break her or something. It was such a great contrast to how wildly joyous the last section is, and the disappointment in the first bit, with his family.

Actually, speaking of, I loved how every paragraph almost had a different feeling to it, a different sense. Like, you really showed the emotional journey Sirius went through, not on a daily, minute basis, but on a larger-scale one - overall. It made this kind of feel like a summary of his life, of him as a person, and the relationships he had, you know? And I really liked that - there's not that many stories which do that in whole, preferring to take bits and explore those. Which is great, but I loved the originality of this :)

As I said before, I love the way you wrote this. There's something so amazing about what you've done, and how much you've managed to convey in so little - the emotions, the feel of it, the different senses, the description... it's just a wonderful piece of writing in whole. I really like the broken-up sort of style of it, especially in the shorter sections - there's something incredibly captivating about it, though I dunno what exactly what is... but I really like it! :)

This is a really great one-shot! I'm almost disappointed I didn't discover this before! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there Aph!

Apologizing for taking so long to get to this response :(

I'm definitely NOT tired of reviews on this story (or any of them, in fact). I really liked how this one turned out and once I got started, it wasn't nearly as hard to write as I thought it would be. I was intimidated by it at first, but it really was sort of fun to write within the parameters that I'd set - you should try it - YOU CAN DO IT! I KNOW YOU CAN!!!

I'm so happy that you picked up on the light and dark, but more so that each paragraph had a different feel. I really wanted a different emotion to come across in each one and I let out a squee when I read that part of the review - thanks!

Gah! I'm so overwhelmed at this review. Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #59, by Aphoridesilver morning: parchment & crystal

16th January 2015:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :)

So, I really really loved that you asked me to review this (though, tbh, I'd probably have read it anyway, lol). There's something so wonderful about discovering new pairings and how people make them work, and part of both my love/fear of Next Gen is the freedom to make the characters what you want and all... so anything can work, even if there are accepted, general theories and perceptions of characters.

Also, I love anything which turns the conventional on its head :P

So, basically, I adored this. Everything about this was so wonderful - you're a fabulous writer! Your description was gorgeous, as was your dialogue (there was always something so poignant about it whenever it came up - like every word meant something, which I loved), and your details were amazing. I especially loved when you had Fred talk about the sky and so on, how it looked like a giant cutting it open. There was something so beautiful, so poetic and yet also strangely haunting about that line and I adored it :)

Again, like I said before, I love how you've overturned the conventional by it being a Scorpius/Fred romance, rather than, say, Scorpius/Albus or Scorpius/Rose. And I love the dynamic you've given them too - how Scorpius is almost the over-achiever, with good grades and a prefect's badge and natural Quidditch skills (and then a Quidditch career, which speaks for itself, really), and Fred is so much more laid-back, outwardly at least, with the anxiety and depression (which were both so tastefully handled, and so beautifully understated, imo - it made it clear they were there, and issues, but it wasn't the focus of the story, so it let the story speak for itself, you know?), and the attempted aloof personality (which didn't really work, haha). Your characterisation is just class, and so, so realistic.

The other thing I want to talk about is the style of this. I love how wistful it was, how it had that lovely, whimsical tone people get when they reminisce about things - times and people they miss, you know - and how romantic it was, even though they never held hands or kissed or anything like that. It was romantic in mood, and you made me feel for them and sort of want to get together, but, tbh, I wasn't really disappointed for them in the end, because the ending just felt right for them, even without the cliche kiss ending and all... I'm not a massive fan of fluffy or overly-romantic/cute romance, so I adored this - the understated way they both dealt with it, the clear infatuation... it was just so, so gorgeous.

The thing about this one-shot is that even though objectively, there's not masses of plot going in in terms of big, grand gestures - it's all very introspective, very character driven, a series of meetings, almost between two people, and almost more a tale of feelings, rather than people - but it's so memorable, it's so emotional, and it's so real that it speaks to you and stays with you, if that makes any sense at all :P

So, basically, what I'm trying to say is that I love this one-shot. It's just a masterpiece. Favouriting :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello Aph!

This review is so fabulous I can already tell it will be hard to respond to it! :)

First off, I'm really glad you didn't mind me asking for a review on a specific story, at the time I really wanted an opinion on this one. I'm even more glad you would have chosen it anyway! :D And I couldn't agree more about fear and love of NextGen! Anything can work, but not anything can work /for you/. :)

Thank you so so much for all of these lovely compliments you have given me! I have read your fabulous work and that makes this review all the more gratifying! I'm thrilled that you liked my descriptions but I would like to specifically thank you for commenting on the dialogue. I tend to cut down my dialogue to leave room for descriptions (which I prefer writing) and that entails hours of re-writing and editing every sentence of dialogue so that it conveys the same message but in the fewest amount of words. That's why you saying 'every word meant something' is such a huge compliment to me! Also, I'm so happy you pointed out the line about the giant and the sky! That's one of the first ideas I had for this story and the whole scene is very dear to me. :)

I, too, like unconventional pairings! Other than the advantage of 'something new', they are also much easier to write, because they don't have hundreds of similar stories preceding them and therefore the reader is less likey to have certain expectations of the characters. :P I'm very happy you liked the dynamic between Scorpius and Fred - your analysis of them is perfect! And also, thank you so much for your comment about anxiety and depression, and my depiction of it. This was the part I was the most nervous writing about, and so to hear such great feedback is extremely reassuring. Thank you, honestly. :)

''I love how wistful it was, how it had that lovely, whimsical tone people get when they reminisce about things - times and people they miss, you know-''

^ I do know! Everything you just said pretty much describes the writing style I love reading most! Thank you!

''it's all very introspective, very character driven, a series of meetings, almost between two people, and almost more a tale of feelings, rather than people''

^ And this! I don't know how to express my excitement over these words! It's everything I hope to achieve when writing. THANK YOU. I love the fact that you felt something for my characters, and that the story stayed with you. It's incredibly gratifying to hear such accurate analysis of my characters, and such a positive reaction to the story itself.

I would just like to point out that this will actually be a novella, and it will have four chapters in total, but I am really glad you thought it was a one-shot. I planned every chapter to be a closed off section, exploring a different period of time in Fred's life, up until that evening in the Burrow, and his relationship with different characters (mostly Scorpius, but also Rose) in those periods. So, it's actually very convenient that you've read it as a one-shot, I must be doing something right. :p I don't know if you will want to read the rest (it's perfectly fine if you don't) but I just want to assure you there will be no grand gestures and no overly cute romance, because I am not a fan of it either. :D

To wrap this up: Thank you for this gorgeous review, for all your lovely compliments, for favouriting this story and for calling it a 'masterpiece'! It was a pleasure doing a review swap with you, and I apologise for not replying to this sooner (RL has been a pain!).

Andy


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Review #60, by AphorideTrue Romance: Time to Get Out

16th January 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) You know, I've been really bad with this story, I have to admit. I've been following it when you update it and everything, but I haven't reviewed since, like, chapter four or something stupid. So I'm back, and I'm coming to this one, and it's probably going to be long (but then, tbh, it really should be...), so sorry about that ;)

So, you already know how much I love Albus and Brandon and their whole relationship - how it matures, and they mature, and it changes and it's so wonderful... they just fit together so well. Like, Brandon means that Albus takes things a bit more seriously, and Albus helps Brandon to lighten up. Neither of them are perfect, but they're supportive of each other, and it's so so lovely. It's such a beautifully realistic romance, too, and I adore it. I love that they're moving in together, after everything they've been through, and that the horrible Child Services woman has left them to get on with raising Cora and being happy together. It's not a fairytale ending, and it's really not cliche - it's so wonderfully spontaneous as a decision and I adore it.

Cora's bits are always so cute! The little mentions of her practising crawling and so on are so adorable... though I was so upset for her that she was there when Arthur died! I don't think Arthur would have wanted her to be there either - I mean, him collapsing wouldn't necessarily have been good for Cora, she could have got hurt... at least (hopefully) she won't remember it! Small mercies, I guess...

Speaking of Arthur, I loved how sweetly you dealt with Molly's grief, with her being surrounded by her family and so supported by them, but that not always being enough, as in this chapter where she's still in her dressing gown and things and she still misses Arthur so much, but she wants to try and be strong. I loved the references to the support of family, though, and how they're so important to her, and she almost needs to take care of someone to get herself grounded again, and to be able to continue on. It's such an in-character thing for Molly, it's amazing! There's a real skill, I think, in getting every single character in a story so well done, and so in character too - it's so impressive, particularly because you don't exactly have a small cast, either! :)

I'm always in two minds about Scorpius and Corbin. I don't know... it's weird, I mean, I like their romance, I think it's sweet and loving and good, and they obviously really like each other, but I'm not overly fond of Corbin, haha. I just love Scorpius so much, that Corbin's jealousy and assuming Scorpius is seeing so many of his close friends (both Rose and Albus) and hitting him, even once... Scorpius is a very forgiving bloke... far more so than I am! That being said, I love how Corbin seems to have changed and realised his mistake and seems to really love Scorpius - people all make mistakes, and I love that you've shown that even in relationships, forgiveness is important - and they're sorting things out about Paris and stuff. I love the end of their romance, if not bits of the middle :P

I think, though, the couple I really ship now, which surprised me is Rose and Pedro. I mean, who doesn't like sexy Spanish guys, amiright? :P But, seriously, I love how free-spirited Rose is, and how at the same time she's unsure of what she wants, but decides to take the risks anyway, and I love Pedro. He just sonds awesome :P

Archie is an idiot. I'm so glad Lily punched him - he deserved it, even if I don't normally advocate violence! But he did! And I loved how disappointed Harry was with Albus and James about their 'revenge', though - it's so parentlike and Harry-like to do that - and how he was still nice enough to use his pull to get them out of more serious trouble than would otherwise have happened. Nah, I didn't mind Archie at the beginning, but he just got worse... I love the little hints of Lily/Lysander, though - they'd make such a cute couple! :D (Please tell me they turn up together again in the last chapter? Please? :D)

Your writing throughtout this has been so beautiful - the flow is always wonderful and the pace is always great, no need to worry about that!, and I'm always stunned by how good you are at plotting things out. It all feels so perfectly placed and so intricately planned. I'm jealous :P

This story is so gorgeous and so truthful, and all of the characters so real and so wonderful, that you can sympathise with any of them really - there's no out-and-out bad guy - and the way they handle things are so great. This is definitely going on my favourites, and I'm going to be so, so sad when it's all over.

I love this! :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!!

This review = amazeballs. I love it and want to read it every day as my writer's affirmation. ^_^ I'm really just glad that you didn't lose interest in the story. :D :D :D

I might just start a branbus fan club for people because I think by halfway through the story *everyone* ships them. I ship them so hard too, which is why I couldn't tear them apart. I'm never sure if I do give them a realistic romance so I'm really happy to hear it is. :D i couldn't ever write about two perfect people - how boring. I'm glad their flaws play off each other (in a good way). They really deserved a happy ending together which I was happy to leave them with.

Cora is kind of my favorite person to write. Even though she's a baby I feel like her precense is quite uplifting. I'm still really sorry that I put her there when Arthur died. She won't really remember it though, so that's good.

I thought it'd be remiss of me to not talk about Molly's grief at some length as I killed Arthur in the story. The idea that struck me with her is what happens after the funeral when people go home. I mean, they have to get up the next day and try to live. I'm thrilled you like Molly taking Lily in as a bit of a project. I agree that she would want someone to take care of with Arthur gone. She ahs the whole family but they are a bit removed from her. and *blush* I can't tell you how much it means that you like the characterizations I've done in this - I didn't realize how many people I'd have to write when I started this but I'm certainly glad to have done them justice.

haha, you might be a in a boat alone when it comes to liking Scorpius and Corbin at this point. They do have a very sweet romance overall but things did get a bit hairy for them. Corbin has massive issues with trust. I'm still a bit at odds with Scorpius being as forgiving as he is. I thought that it fit with what we've seen of him to date for that to happen though. I will write a one-shot about them that takes place a year-ish after this so we can see how they're doing.

Rose and Pedro certainly came out of nowhere for people (If I hadn't been writing this I would have been taken aback by them popping up). I wish I had more time in this to talk about them as a couple. I don't have specific inspiration to write about them (but when I write about Lily I'll have Rose come through as a character fairly often).

Archie is the unredeemable guy in this. I don't *mind* violence but I think Lily's punch was well-deserved. Albus and James were definitely reckless with their revenge scheme. I think harry would have been less upset if he had the truth of their outing rather than Archie's version of it. Lily/Lysander won't end up together in the next chapter but I am planning a whole novel about Lily - so you'll see how that pans out.

lkajdflkasjf - I really can't adequately respond to the last part. That means so much coming from you as your stories are always so wonderful and masterfully put together.

thank you so very much for this review!!

-Rose


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Review #61, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: Not All Men, But Most of Them

14th January 2015:
Hi Mallory! :) Stopping by from the BvB, because unfortunately I'm supposed to be doing work today, and I need an excuse to pop back to this (well, no, I don't, but it sounds better if I do, right? :P)!

I'm catching up, too... and I'm so glad about it! I love this story to pieces, seriously, and I'm so excited about seeing where it's going to go next and everything. Nothing about this story is predictable, and I love it! :)

I love Annie's character so much - I love how strong she is, or pretends she is, and how she's such a good actress and her true skill is more of a shady, or shadily-used, one than other people's. She's just so fascinating, and so unique as an OC - I haven't seen many who genuinely hate a Potter, and don't seem to be likely to fall in love with them any time soon!

I loved learning more about Freddy, and the Shooting Star - using George as a comparison was such a cool idea! And they are reasonably similar in some ways... I never thought of that at all! - and how Annie's night progresses, with her 'clients' and all, and how they act with her. It wasn't shocking, per se, but it was something which should perhaps be shocking, if you get my drift? Like, it's the kind of behaviour which just makes you want to leave somewhere... ugh. Kudos to Annie for handling it all so well - though I suppose since she's been doing this for a while, she must be used to a lot of it, which is pretty sad.

Still, I guess she filches all their money in the end, which is something... ;)

Ooh, Freddy and James, in the same chapter! You're spoiling me, haha! I love them both so much! They're like opposites - James is the guy who knows what's on the line and knows when he's crossed it, if not immediately, and Freddy is the kind of guy who just keeps pushing because he can. It's great characterisation, with both of them! I loved how bumbling James was in this one, too - how he didn't think through why playing pool in Freddy's casino would be bad. Poor guy :P

On another note, Freddy's proposition for Annie sounds terrifying. I'm betting it's really not going to be good news, though I don't know what... ooh, maybe he's going to get her to play James in the match? I could seem him doing that just to try and win... so cruel! Or something more sinister... gah, I don't know! I'll just have to read on, I guess... :P

Your writing in this, as always, is amazing. I love the way you write - the description, and especially your dialogue, are soo good. I know I keep saying this, but it's true! There's nothing I can do but keep repeating it :P You are so, so good at weaving the plot together, as well, I'm so jealous of that - there's all these little strands and I know they're going to come together in the end, and make something I didn't expect. Plus, the mystery is incredible. I really, really cannot predict anything in this story, and I love it! :)

I'll see you soon for the next chapter, no doubt ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!!

Thanks so much for this lovely long review! :D

Annie definitely pretends a lot, which is why she's so good at it. Practice makes perfect, right? She herself is very shady when she's at the Shooting Star, but hopefully not so much when she's at home. And she's totally not into James Potter, which is a relief. This is not a love story. :)

I'd like to think that George is not very proud of Freddy, but he's sort of impressed in a way. Freddy is all the things about George that could've gone wrong. Annie's clients are gross, and she knows it, which is why she takes all of their money! >:D She knows what she's doing, and they're just sleazy moneybags to be swindled.

Haha, you're right, Freddy and James are total opposites. James does know the line, though he crosses it A LOT. Freddy does push the envelope an awful lot, which is destructive. James is a natural bumbler--when he can't use his charm on Annie, he has no idea what to do. And he really didn't think about coming onto Freddy's turf, stupid boy.

Thanks thanks thanks!! I don't mind when you repeat those lovely compliments. :) Please don't be jealous of me--I don't know how I'm going to wrap up all the loose ends that I've got at this point, but we'll see. :D

♥Mallory


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Review #62, by AphorideSeven: 7:00 AM

14th January 2015:
Hi there, dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so I'm jumping into the world of Snape/Hermione - not one I ever thought I'd be in, but here goes anyway! :)

I can't say I'm any more a fan of the pairing (sorry! But it's just something I find too weird to like, haha), but the way you wrote this was so lovely, and sort of suspended the, for me, unrealistic nature of the pairing, even if I couldn't believe it exactly. There was something so sweet, and yet so in character, about them both - especially Hermione! I loved the little touches - with him wanting to blow up the alarmclock, and Hermione having one in the first place, with a glow setting and all :P

I like as well how this seems almost like the end of the story, after they've been through everything and finally got together and all. It's such a cool idea, to tell in non-linear, and it adds this sort of air of mystery to the story which I love. I'm curious as to how it all started, what happened in the years in between this one and the war to make them end up like this.

Also, I didn't actually look at the genre tags before I clicked on this, haha, but I'm guessing this is AU, given everything? I'm not a major fan of AUs, unless they're outright AU, but this sort of makes you forget that, almost.

Your writing was so lovely in this, as well. Your descriptions are so great, and there are so many brilliant little details in this - I loved it! Also, I love the whole 'seven' theme. It's so fitting for a book series which had seven parts, and where the number seven was so special already ;)

So yeah, I'm surprisingly glad I read this - not because of your writing, but because I never thought I'd like something with a pairing like this, and I actually like htis - so thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

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Review #63, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: Learning From the Best

12th January 2015:
Hi there, Mallory! :) Sorry for the delay in getting this to you from the BvB battle - stupid uni internet logged me out and I lost the whole thing before I could post it, and had to redo it, so I'm here now for the second time! :)

(Not that I mind, tbh - since you always leave me such amaazing reviews, it's only fair I try and do something similar in return. (And fail, almost certainly :P))

I loved the flashbacks, showing how she started playing pool and finding out more about her family - especially her dad - and a few more details about her life at Hogwarts. Annie's such a mysterious main character, you know, and I love how you reveal more about her with each chapter, but she still maintains the whole mysterious aura-thing - though I loved going into more detail on her. It really didn't feel out of place at all.

I loved the way her dad was a muggle and more laid-back, and her mum was the witch and the high-flyer. I don't know, it just seemed so original to me, and I loved how she's a half-blood with a very mixed family, with different backgrounds and different interests, rather than simply a pureblood or muggleborn, which seems to be more common in OCs. The scene with her dad and her chatting, and the build-up of their relationship was so sweet, and I loved how it was when she was with him that her magic first came out. Sort of adds to the whole pool thing - her first magic involving pool balls ;)

As always, the detail in this is amazing. I particularly love the sensory stuff you do - with the smoke smell, and the feel/touch bits, with the wood and the carpet. The moment where she sneezed made me laugh - it's so true to life, though! It always happens that you end up needing to sneeze or cough when you're hiding somewhere, cliche as it may sound :P

Got to be honest, though, I am missing James a little bit in this - but last chapter was a James-heavy chapter, so I'll let it slide :P ;)

Anyway, I still love this story and I really loved this little drop back into Annie's past - I think it really helped round out her character more, and it was just nice to learn more about her, and your writing as usual was amazing and I'm so excited and curious to see where the plot goes next chapter, because the advantage of a flashback one is that you give yourself something of a clean slate for the next chapter ;)

(Also - I'm starting to catch up ;) Slowly, but surely... and then I can beat Emily to next first review :P)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph!

Pssh, you never fail to make me smile with your reviews. Thanks so much for them. :)

I'm so glad you liked the flashbacks! Annie likes to be mysterious, but she does have a back story that I will delve further into as the story goes on.

Yep, her dad was the Muggle. How he and her mum met, I don't know yet. But there are a lot of mixing interests and personalities in her family, so it fits in an odd way, I think. I wanted her to sort of have the best of both worlds--Muggle and magic, you know? Her relationship with her dad makes me smile every time I write about it. He's so sweet. And yes, her first magic HAD to have pool in the equation. :)

Thank you so much! I rely a lot on my senses, so putting them into my writing is fun. Oh yes, I like cliches and try to use them sparingly, but I couldn't resist the sneezing-and-being-caught gag. It's so stupid, but effective.

Sorry you're missing James! He'll come back, I promise.

I love that you love this story, because you're one of my HPFF faves. So your high opinion of it really mans a lot to me. :) Yes, I felt the need to look into her past. She needed some characterization.

Thank you again!
♥Mallory


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Review #64, by AphorideBehind You: Run

11th January 2015:
Hi, Sian! :) I really hope you don't mind me stopping by on this one - I know it's not quite as recent as some of your other works, but I couldn't resist. It's Gellert Grindelwald, plus doppelgangers and horror - really, I just had to stop! :)

I loved this! The whole thing was built up so beautifully, with the ending and the use of the canon scenes and events... it was so brilliant. I loved as well, how it's never quite explained if the doppelganger is real or if it's a figment of Gellert's imagination, a fear he's creating himself. The uncertainty is amazing; it's so cool. Well, the whole thing is such a cool idea in general! ;)

I loved how you characterised Gellert as well - how he was so driven, so determined, so hungry for knowledge as well as power (and I loved the tie-in to his Great Aunt by saying it was a family-related thing, too!), and maybe, in the end, repentent for what he did and caused. I guess you could argue that was what he was always running from - that the doppelganger was his own guilt in human/shade form. I don't know if that's what you were going for, though ;) Still, it's such an amazingly creepy thing, and I love how you've used a character whose normally portrayed as strong/evil/etc. and had the doppelganger kinda haunt him, in the sense that it haunts and follows, rather than helps or anything.

Your writing in this is gorgeous. Seriously. I love the way you never really describe the doppelganger itself, only at the end (I think) saying it looks like him, that he's looking at himself. It's such a creepy idea, that there's something out there that looks so much like you... it feels almost as though it should be comforting, except it's not. I loved as well, all your description of the locations and Gellert's emotions - I can't really pick any one thing or part of your writing out, it was all just so gorgeous. And it flowed perfectly, with this wonderfully haunting sort of tone to it.

Yeah, this was just incredibly amazing. If this was your first time at writing horror, I'm gonna be so jealous, because you nailed it completely ;)

This is an amazing story. And I'm clearly going to have to stalk your page more often, because looking at it, I've been missing things! :)

Aph xx

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Review #65, by AphorideDull Ache: Oblivion

11th January 2015:
Hey Rose! :) So I felt there was something right about reviewing this - it's a new thing of yours, and it's Andromeda, which I love, and I dunno... it just seemed right, somehow.

So yeah, I'm here.

I just want to say first, that I am always so, so amazed by people like you who can write so frankly and so honestly about things which they've been through, especially things which are as hard as this. It's always so personal, and so difficult, so thank you so much for sharing this with us *hugs* You're seriously, genuinely amazing, and I don't really think I can accurately explain how brave I think you are.

It's actually a really hard thing to review, imo - it's so sobering, so solemn and weighty, and it really makes you think and feel for the characters, and try and consider somehow how it would feel like, or seem like to go through something like that. Ofc, it's not really possible, because it's just such an emotional thing.

The way you write this is gorgeous. Really, really gorgeous. I love the whole set-up with the jumping timeline, and how it still tells this devastating story through it, and how you describe everything so wondefully. Your word choice is outstanding, it's just so perfect.

Your characterisation is amazing, as well. It's so gorgeous - it's so real and so true and speaks so deeply to the human experience.

This is an incredibly stunning, amazing one-shot. Thank you so, so much for writing it and sharing it with us *hugs*

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!!!

Thank you so much for stopping by this story. ^_^

Before this I've avoided writing about anything too personal or emotional for me. I'm glad that it's not as awful to read as I thought it would be and people have been really kind about the fact that this did come from a difficult place.

It is nice to make people think and feel for the characters in a way that's hard to respond to (as a reader). It's not a very fun or lighthearted story but I'm glad it's still enjoyable.

ahh, I just can't begin to tell you how much your review means. xoxo thank you so very much!!

-Rose


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Review #66, by AphorideThe Last Snowy Feather: Biding Her A Silent Farewell

11th January 2015:
Hi there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

So, I just had to stop by on this because the idea of it just sounded so... cool isn't really the right word, but you know what I mean ;) Like such a good idea for a fic, you know? One of those missing moments fics which just fits into canon so, so well.

I have to admit I'm not much of a Harry/Hermione fan, so I read this without the ship aspect of it - also because I love the idea of this focusing on Harry's friendship with both Hedwig and Hermione - like how he loses a friend, but is reminded by another that he still has others.

(I'm not sure I'm making any sense here, sorry! :P)

Your writing in this was so, so lovely. It was so evocative of the mood, without drowning it in description or dialogue or anything... it just worked so well, with Harry's emotions and things highlighted so clearly.

I loved the use of the feather and the sort of echoing, fading hooting as well - it was so beautiful and so reminiscent of grief. I loved it! :)

This was a really beautiful one-shot :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello! :D

Awh! ♥ You're right! Well, I'm flattered that you consider it to fit with canon!

Oh - it's alright. As I said in my A/N, it can go either way - friendship or romance (depending if one ships H/Hr or not.) I was leaning more towards friendship anyway, because to me, their friendship is equivalent to how I romanticize them. (If I am making sense?) Anyways. I stuck with friendship because it is mostly about Harry and Hedwig.


Oh thank you!! I fear how I go about description and dialogue, so I'm happy that you said, it isn't overwhelming. Honestly, I can't stand overwhelming dialogue and description - especially description. :]


Hehe, I'm glad you liked the releasing of the feather! :) And that you loved this overall. ^_^



Thank you for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it!




- Asphodel


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Review #67, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: A Drink With the Devil

11th January 2015:
Hello again, Mallory! :) I just had to keep reading on - I've missed this story!

I love how this chapter continued on with the last chapter's last scene, and the lesson and how it's going for James. Dear god, he's not very good is he? :P Poor guy, doesn't really help when you consider what a bad situation he's in either... I mean, with your cousin threatening to potentially land you in prison via blackmail, you'd probably be hoping you'd turn out to be a natural in the game, tbh, and it's really, really not like that for him. Still, it's nice to see him being taken down a peg or two, what with Annie and his backstory. It's a strange sort of thing, because he's not a wholly detestable character, but at the same time, he's not a wholly likable character because there's this whole past he has... it's really complex, though, and I love it! :)

That conversation between James and Annie at the bar was so mysterious! Like, I wanna know so much more! Why don't he and Harry get on so well? What is this information Freddie knows which is so dangerous? Did James do something, or say something? Does Freddie have incriminating pictures or something - how does he know about it? I can't help but feel Freddie's a lot more of a sinister character than he seems, with all the games and so on... highly suspicious individual :P

I have to be honest, I actually felt a little bit sorry for James when she refused to call him by his first name... I mean, he's trying, poor guy, and he genuinely doesn't remember - but then again, you can't really blame her for not wanting to get on with him. Ah, you're too good at characterisation! I like them both, haha :P

I loved this chapter - the writing was gorgeous, your dialogue is amazing as always, your characterisation is so good - and I liked how this wasn't a massively plot-heavy chapter, but it developed things further, set up these little clue-like things about Freddie and James' bet and so on... so curious :)

I'll be back sooner than I have been before... ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi again!

The continuing scene happened because I thought that the original chapter was too long, so I broke it in half. :D It really isn't going well for James, and he's awful at pol. :) He's in a precarious situation, though, so if he knew what was good for him, he'd practice. You're right--I think he probably figured he'd be a natural, but he was sooo wrong. He could always be taken down a peg or two, even though he's not completely detestable. Huge ego, right?

James has problems, Freddy has info, and Annie has a headache. All will be revealed in due time. :) Oh yes, Freddy is totally sinister. :)

James is trying, but Annie wants to remain aloof. He's kind of a git, anyway, so there's that... Thank you so, so much! I wanted to develop things a little bit, so this chapter was an opportunity to do that. I'm glad you liked it!

♥Mallory


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Review #68, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: Ready, Aim, Miss...

11th January 2015:
Mallory, Mallory, Mallory! :) So sorry it's been so long since I've been here (and I'm waaay, way too flattered that you dedicated this chapter to me - it's amazingly sweet of you! :D), but I'm here now, and I've got loads of time to catch up on this story. Really, it's been far too long... blame exams! :P

I love this story so much (and, you know what, I was actually playing pool last week, haha, so it's beautifully coincidental that I'm back with this now) - there's something so wonderfully unique about it, with the pool aspect and all the different subplots into it, with the maybe-not romance sort of thing, and the mystery aspect and so on. It's so wonderful! :)

I love Annie's character so much - she's such a great OC, with the way she was bullied before, and how she hates James and doesn't think he's attractive, and how she's so witty with the little quips and things she makes about James and Barry, and to them too. Your dialogue is so lovely - I'm so jealous! I find it so hard, but for you, it's amazing, it always seems so easy for you, whether it's internal monologue comments or conversation.

The details in this are incredible, too, speaking about writing. I love all the little mentions of how she's called 'Miss Eight' and the muggle bar and the muggle taxi, and how she has this whole sort of double life - I love how you build it up throughout the whole thing. The scene with her trying to teach James how to play pool was hilarious - I loved all the little wizard/muggle things in it, how James doesn't know how to hold the cue and hit it and just can't... it seems so simple when you know how to do it, haha, but I can imagine it would be so hard for people to learn if they'd never seen it before!

All of your supporting characters are so good, too - is it wrong to say that I love Barry? :P I don't know, he's not a nice guy, but I love how he's a failed Quidditch player who now runs a Quidditch shop, so he's sort of close enough to the sport without being able to play it. Annie's friend Hattie is so good, too - I love the little interludes with her, and how she tries to persuade Annie to go on dates. The little mentions of other characters we haven't actually met yet, like Adam, are so great, too - they really make this whole thing 3D, you know? :)

I love this story so much (I keep saying this, but it's true!), and I'm gonna have to keep going... :) See you next chapter! :P

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph! Sorry for taking so long to respond! It's really okay, and you definitely deserved to have a chapter dedicated to you. :D

Yay for playing pool! I'm so glad you think it's unique. Sometimes it seems unique to me in that it's so difficult to write, but I'm getting there. :)

Thank you so much! Annie is really not into James--at least, at this point in the story. I really can't say about later on, because I don't know if I want them to end up together or not. :/ But for now, she's in full loathing mode. Thank you!! I'm jealous of your description skills, so we're even. And James is so dumb, so teaching him to play pool is a very big feat. Good luck to Annie. :P It's hard to describe how to hold the cue, so for someone who doesn't know how to play pool, it's difficult to learn! (He'll maybe get the hang of it one day.)

Thank you again! I love Barry, too. He's such a grouch and a failure. So wonderful. :D Hattie is bae, end of story. ♥ I'm glad that my story is more than 2D, because I live in constant fear of making it boring. :D

Thanks thanks thanks!
♥Mallory


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Review #69, by AphorideThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Prologue

3rd January 2015:
Hey there! :) Stopping by for our review swap!

I just couldn't resist when I saw the title - the idea of a wizarding gentlemen's club cracks me up no end (though it's more than plausible, tbh) - and the fact that this is a murder mystery only makes it better! :D (I'm a total sucker for murder mysteries :P)

I love the way this works as a beginning - the cliffhanger at the end, the quick scene of how it all began, after the murder, it's just so, so good. It really sets up for so much reveal later on, with the murderer, more on the victim, who this mysterious 'they' is, what's going on... it's such a mysterious, intruiging start - I really, really wanna know more! :)

I love the way you introduce the characters, too - with Exebur Greengrass rushing into the office, the pretty assistant trying to stop him but failing, and Marcus himself being so relaxed and then so... well, not :P It shows us them at really abnormal times, you know, so there's this sort of question of what are they like normally, this is how they'd act really, and so on which makes everyone so suspicious and so untrustworthy, which fits so well with all of the mystery :)

Your writing is so good in this too - it's so lovely and clean and precise in a way which I completely envy (because I am utterly incapable of keeping anything concise, haha). Your description is so lovely and you use it so well, with the vial and things, so that those bits stand out, they're so memorable. All the details in this are gorgeous, too - with the little things about how his career started, and how it nearly ended - especially the little ones about the invstigating career type thing, with the money and case technique and things.

The hints and cliffhangers in this are amazing. I'm so, so desperate to read on. Unfortunately, I have to pack now (boo!), but hopefully I'll find some time to come back to this, because I'm gonna have to! :D

Aph xx

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Review #70, by AphorideWhen It Matters: When It Matters

23rd December 2014:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

I couldn't resist popping by when I saw this was Scorpius/Rose. I'm not a massive fan, because I don't really like cliches and the whole Malfoy-Weasley thing kinda makes them one in a way, but I do have a soft spot for them - so many different ways they can be taken! :)

I love the way you wrote them here. I haven't read your other Scorpius/Rose story, but it really wasn't necessary - this is such a cute story on its own! I love how they both like each other, but need encouragement to actually take that first step. It's so true to life, you know - especially when you're already friends and things. It makes it so much harder, and I loved how you emphasised the difficulty, with Rose's family as well, and Al trying to push them together because he knows they'd be happy.

Ah, enchanted mistletoe - one of the cliches I actually love, just because it's so possibly real in Hogwarts, haha, and so typical. If I could do it in RL, I would :P I love how you used it here - you set it up so I was convinced that was how it would end, even when they went outside for the scene by the lake I thought you'd find a way to get them back inside and under the mistletoe haha, so you completely tricked me there! I don't know if it was intentional, but either way it was cool! :)

The description in this was gorgeous - I particularly loved the way you talked about the grounds, with the snow and the ice on the lake. It was so lovely - and all of the comparisons of Rose and how she was red against white were so stunning, too. They all painted such a vivid picture in my mind, it's so great! The details you include are great, too - I loved all the little mentions of other people, like James and Louis and Hugo and Ron, in this, who we didn't meet. It really made this feel so alive, and like we're just taking a peek into these people's lives and at what they're doing, you know?

This is a really great one-shot - I really enjoyed reading it! It's so sweet and cute, and I loved the way you set it up, and Scorpius was so adorable! :P I'm so glad I stopped by to read this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph! :D Whenever I swap with you it is a genuine pleasure. Your reviews are just the most amazing ever! :) So, thank you. :)

Anyway, I'm glad the ScoRose tempted you. I love writing this pair, they're just so CUTE, I want to squish them, I swear.

And, omg, YES! It's so hard to LIKE a friend. It's the hardest, most frustrating thing ever. I channeled all the same emotions I've had over the years so the fact that I wrote this makes it sort of worth it to have gone through such anguish (I'm such a drama queen. lol)

I love the enchanted mistletoe cliche too! I'd prolly be like Al and run away from it ALL the time because it's too scary but I bet it would be fun whatever happens. Oh, I'd actually really meant for them to go back and be caught under a mistletoe. (I'd actually planned for Al to steal a sprig of said mistletoe and ambush them with it) but it just felt nice to end it where I did. So, maybe half-intentional? SORRY.

I suppose I can see the grounds of Hogwarts during winter so clear in my head. What I wouldn't give just to see it. And red against white is one of my most favorite contrasts (blood dripping on snow, for example. which would not have fit here. but still!)

Anyway, thank you ever so much for the swap.. much loves!

--Carla


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Review #71, by AphorideThe Brothers Three: Introduction

17th December 2014:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I've always been fascinated with the Tales of Beedle Bard, haha, so when you said this one, I just had to stop by!

I really loved the introduction section with Death and the other Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and then the seven sins - and how you personified them. I'm a huge fan of personification, so I just loved it - especially with how you described them in action, as they would have been in a medieval age, with the nobles and orphans and so on. It was so lovely! :)

Also, I loved the three brothers themselves and the way you introduced them all - one after another, in age order, and yet it felt so natural to do it that way, you know? I loved how you really played on the characteristics we know they have from the tale, too - with Antioch and his pride, and how he wants everything and gets jealous easily, and Cadmus with his grief and almost wounded pride and sort of yearning for his wife and jealousy that it was his wife who died. Also, Ignotus and how he was sort of just... rather nondescript, really, if you know what I mean. Like, he was young and rather naive and the shadow of his brothers. It was so great - and really makes me curious as to how you're going to continue with them as the story goes on! :)

Picky point, and only coz I've studied a lot of medieval history - at eighteen, Ignotus would have been long past the age to drink in a pub ;) Drinking water was incredibly uncommon because it was really dangerous, so people would drink watered down ale when they were younger, and full ale when they were older.

Apart from that (and it's really a minor detail, tbh, I just couldn't resist mentioning it!), the historical detail in here is so good! You've really kept it so true to the era, with your descriptions of clothing and action and the settings, and even your language - which is so impressive, because mimicking older ages is really hard and you've done it so well, and seemingly so easily, too! :) Also, speaking of your language, your writing in this is gorgeous too. The description you use is so, so lovely and so evocative - it really paints a beautiful picture in my mind. Your dialogue, too, is wonderful!

So, yeah, in total, I really love this story - it's such a great beginning so far, everything in it is so good, and I really hope you continue writing this, because it's such a fascinating story and I'd love to see where you took it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #72, by AphorideDon't Become Too Serious With Him, Rosie.: That Malfoy Boy

17th December 2014:
Hi there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I hope me stopping by on this one is okay - I know it's not your most recent one, but unfortunately Snape/Hermione really isn't my thing, I'm sorry :/

I love the premise of this - playing with the forbidden love angle, and playing off Ron's comment in the Epilogue that Rose shouldn't get too friendly with Scorpius, and Rose dealing with the fact that she wants to and she knows her dad won't be okay with it - it's one of this things which I think is kinda true to life, you know: the whole 'will-my-parents-like-him/her' thing, when you fancy someone, and then date them. Plus, it makes for such an interesting set-up, you know, with so much potential drama.

I love the way you've characterised Rose and Al and Scorp and, well, all of the Next Gen cast in this. I love that she's so confident and yet so nervous when faced with Scorpius and fancying him and being so strangely scared of breaking up their friendship because of it. Again, it's so real - and the way you write the canon characters: Harry, Ginny, Hermione and the rest, are so good! I mean, they're so hard to write, and you do them so easily in this. I loved the references to Hermione's punctuality and Ron's laid-back attitude, and all of that - it's so lovely and really brings them to life! :)

The only thing I would say with this is that maybe it would flow better if you interspersed the description with the action, and not try to describe everything in one go? It works here, but I think it would be better if it was more spread-out? Just my opinion, though ;)

Still, apart from that your writing is gorgeous. I love how clean and clear it is, and there's this lovely informal style to it, you know, as though Rose is actually talking to the reader. It's lovely, really - and your description and dialogue are both really good, especially your dialogue! :)

I really enjoyed this - it's a really good start, and I'm so curious about what's going to happen later on. You've put so many little threads in this! Like, what Rose is going to do about her crush, will Scorpius ever get to tell her what he wants to say, will Ron really react so badly or will he come round? So interesting! :)

So yeah, I'm so glad I read this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there!

I know that Snape/Hermione isn't the most conventional pairing, so that's more than alright that you stopped by here instead. :D I'm having horrible writer's block with this story, so the feedback is more than welcomed!

I thought it would be fun to write a story where it isn't about the "will they won't they" aspect of their romance. I wanted it to be more of them dealing with the prejudices from their families. We all know how Ron feels, but I'm sure that Draco won't be much happier about his son dating Weasley's daughter - regardless of him being decent to her thus far. Definitely what you've said, a lot of potential for drama. ;)

Aww thank you! This is/was my first attempt with the Next-Gen kids, so it's nice to hear that they've been done well. I wanted to try to make her feelings as real as possible. No matter how confident she may be as a person, even the best of us tend to fall apart slightly in front of a crush. Especially when that crush is a childhood friend. There's so much you could possibly lose if it goes wrong and Rose realizes that. Gah thank you!! That makes me so happy to hear that they're all portrayed true to character. :)

No, you're totally right. This chapter was written when I was really, really new to writing fanfics. So there is a lot that has to be smoothed out. I definitely plan on getting back to this and fixing all of that.

Aww thank you! I wanted to do this as Rose telling the story, kind of like she's just talking to the reader. I'm glad that you liked the informal tone of it! :D

Thank you so much!! I'm thrilled that you've liked this so far and all of those questions will definitely be answered! If you continue on, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!! ♥

Thank you for doing the swap and for this beautiful review!!

xoxo Meg





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Review #73, by AphorideWe Are One: Broken Pieces

16th December 2014:
Hey there - stopping by for the BvB Review Battle! :)

Oh no, I actually liked Dung! :( Pretty disappointed that it happened to him - though I kinda expected it after the last chapter. Still... :(

I like how the murders are so varied - they're all connected, and done with some similarities between them, but none of them are completely identical. As a set-up, it reminds me a lot of Jack the Ripper in London, you know, with the different places and situations and things. It's so great! Plus, I love all the images of the Aurors trying to work out what's going on and who's doing it.

With the connection - ooh, they all seem to be people who've hurt Harry, or led to Harry being hurt or nearly being hurt/killed... hm... maybe that's it... in which case, I guess Draco Malfoy should be worried :P Not sure who else could be a victim or why anyone would be that dedicated to protecting Harry's life like that... hm...

All the little canon details in here are so good. I loved how Hermione kinda barged her way into the case as well, haha - seems like something she'd do! And how Ron asked her to lunch randomly, how Hagrid was buying repellant down in Knockturn Alley like in CoS ;)

I feel so sorry for all the Aurors, getting so tired and so stressed with things... such a difficult case, and one which would go high-profile quickly, too, so people would be complaining about it not getting sorted out quickly enough and everything...

I'm so so curious to see what happens next! If there's another murder, so soon, or if they get a break and time to think about it, what happens when they interview Hagrid, if they get to interview Emerson and just, well, everything. The killer's bits are so creepy, too - like, well-intentioned, in a way, and that just makes it worse, you know?

So yeah, I'm so hooked on this story, still. Love it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #74, by AphorideGuilt.: Guilt.

13th December 2014:
Hey there! :) So I love your darker stuff, and this just looked so fascinating - you know, the whole PTSD/trauma kinda thing, and emotions - so I couldn't resist dropping by :)

I love the fact that you used Demelza for this, and how you use the fact that she was a Gryffindor sort of to balance out the fear and the grief and the guilt and all the rest of it. I think it really helps with making it so obvious, you know, how she's suffering and that it's not necessarily a logical feeling and logical for her to want herself to suffer - like, she's so blinded by her own disgust for herself, she can't see why that happened, you know? It's just brilliant characterisation, really.

Your writing in this is so good, too - it's so evocative. It really brings all the emotions and things to light, and shows them without being glorifying or suggesting that she's right to feel bad; she just does, and there's this whole layer of concern from everyone else around her: Ginny and Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey. Your descriptions are so lovely, and her inner thoughts are so well written :)

The thing I really love about this is how you're dealing with such a difficult, sensitive subject - with the trauma and the PTSD and the guilty - and you handle it so well. Nothing is over done, or suggested that it's bad/good for Demelza to feel any certain way, she just does and you make it clear that it's not healthy, that it's bad for her to worry herself sick about this and stress over it, but there's no blame atributed, which is so important.

The comparisons with Ginny were great, too - I love how she holds herself up to people like Ginny and them, and feels she comes up short, especially because she's a Gryffindor. It's so sad, and really compounds the emotion.

I really love this story - it's a very heavy story, but I think you deal with it so well, and it's so beautiful despite that, with all the lovely description. It's really great; I'm so glad we swapped! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: My original idea for this story was to write about how being forced into torturing people and so on affected a character. And I thought that a Gryffindor would be give the story an extra dimension as Hogwarts students seem to get quite stereotyped by their house's traits and I can see people feeling under a lot of pressure to live up to the traits of their house, so a Gryffindor who didn't stand up to the Carrows might not only feel guilty about having tortured people, but also ashamed of not living up to the house they were placed in.

Glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you so much for an awesome review.


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Review #75, by AphorideIcarus: Prologue

13th December 2014:
Hi there! So I am a huge canon fan, but the idea of this was just so cool, and the summary sounded so interesting, so I just had to come by to this one! :)

I love the whole set-up of it. How you don't give away much, but drop little hints and things about what's going to happen, what Lily's going to get herself into and how she's going to handle it. Having the little section at the top with the part of the log by the captain of the ship (which is in itself a little thing I wanna know more about! Why is she on a ship? Wah, sounds so cool!) is so clever - just gives enough to reel the reader in ;)

I love how you've characterised Lily, as well, with her being so disatisfied with fame and fed up with it and not really understanding why so many of her family are named after dead people. I think it's so true to life - people who are often removed from the situation don't always get it, particularly kids. It just seems to alien to them, so I loved how you included that. I love as well how she wishes she could have met her grandparents - and it's again so real: my dad's dad died when he was young, so I've never known him and it's the same kind of thing. As well, I really like how she doesn't want to rely on fame, and so she's not super-clever or talented or successful; instead, she's broke and jobless. It gives her this really nice sense of independence, which I love.

As always, your writing is lovely, and there are so many details in this which really bring it to life. It's so good! I really loved how she described her siblings and family - it could have been list-like, I think, with how many of them, but you wrote it so well, it was all just like anecdotes and really felt like someone talking to you and saying those things.

I'm so so curious to know where this goes, as well. Obviously she crosses over into a different time stream, but how? And where in it does she end up? Who does she meet? What happens while she's there? Gah, I'm so curious and you've left so many threads hanging it's wonderful :)

This is a really, really brilliant first chapter; we will have to swap again at some point so I can read more :P I really loved this! :)

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi! Haha, I'm a huge canon fan as well, which makes me wonder how this story ever ended up existing. I suppose it starts out canon! :p I'm really glad to hear it sounds interesting despite being AU though!

I'm so happy to hear that it was the right amount of information revealed for the prologue! I'd never done a story with a prologue before, so it was kind of a wild guess at how much to put in :p And I'm thrilled you liked that bit about the ship hehe.

Aw, thank you! I'm so glad you like Lily's characterization and that she seems real, that means a lot to me. That's exactly what I was hoping to show there, about the disconnect for people who are removed from the situation. As well I think that since Harry was always awkward about his fame/hero status, that he wouldn't raise his kids to take advantage of that fame either. Outside of her fame Lily is pretty normal.

Gah, thank you for saying my writing is lovely *blushes* It is so wonderful to hear that the story seems alive in the details and anecdotes, and that you are curious to find out what's going to happen! Soo many threads hanging indeed. This prologue is basically one of those fringe dresses from the 1920's. XD

Thanks so much for the swap and your fantastic review!! ♥


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