Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
  
463 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Aphorideshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

5th March 2015:
Hey there - sorry for the long delay! Class finished late and then I had to make dinner and so on... but I'm here now! :)

I loved this. Dean/Luna isn't a pairing I read very often - and I don't read either of them as characters in things very often either - but they're so so sweet, and the way you presented them in this made me ship them, you know? It just created the ship and portrayed it so beautifully, and so realistically, and there was so much emotion in it too... this really is a beautiful piece of writing, and considering this and the earth and the sky., I really don't know why I haven't read more of your stuff earlier.

I love how you portrayed Luna especially. She's such a tricky character to write, you know - with the whole airy nature and the random, insightful and often awkward comments she can make - and you've written her so perfectly in this. Like, it's just her and I really have no idea how you've done it :P I especially loved where you talked about her eyes always being so dreamy, how she always looked as though she was imagining adventures and how much she wanted to go and do those things, and so on, and then how when she came back, after marrying Rolf, it had changed to certainty. It's such beautiful description, and such a clever, lovely way to capture Luna's personality, too.

(Even if, you know, the whole Luna-and-Rolf thing is pretty heartbreaking for Dean :()

Dean was so great, too. It's strange, but I always kinda thought of Dean as a bit of a romantic, haha, so I loved how you made him like that in this - there's something so sweet about the way he's happy just to get what he gets, even though he still loves her and he still wants more, and how much he wants her to stay and finds her in the strangest of places (because, you know, falling in love in the basement of Malfoy Manor is pretty weird :P). It's such a bittersweet story, even if you can't dislike either of the characters for it - they want to be happy, and that's not a bad thing to want - but still, at the end, it leaves you feeling kinda... breathless, I guess, in a way, if that even makes sense (really, I have no idea :P).

Your writing, as usual, is gorgeous. Your description is amazing, and there were so many lines in here which were so quotable and so beautiful - there's this meaning behind the words in this, and so much emotion in them, that it's really feels so personal, almost private, you know? It's a real gift, that! The style of it was so great, too - I loved the four paragraphs, with the stages of their relationship and how they came round in a circle just as their relationship did: starting and ending with him being in love with her and her not with him. It's a sad thing, but the analogy is gorgeous. The way you used italics for the dialogue was really cool, too - I haven't seen that used much before, so I really liked it.

This is a gorgeous, gorgeous piece, and I think in future, I'm going to have to look out for new things you post, otherwise I suspect I'm going to end up missing out on things ;)

Aph xx

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Review #52, by AphorideTicking Away Seconds: Bittersweet Kisses

3rd March 2015:
Hey there! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

Okay, so I'm going to admit first off that I'm not a big fan of Snape/Lily unless it's unrequited, so I was a bit nervous when I saw the pairing listed on this - but, I loved the way you portrayed Snape's feelings and the way you dealt with the unrequited nature of them. It really felt like a snapshot out of canon, you know - a moment we never got to see in it :)

I love how you wrote both Lily and Snape - Lily especially. I loved how even though he was begging, she didn't back down on her opinions and how she felt about it, and she didn't desert her morals simply because he was her friend. She was so strong, and it was so great to see! I like as well how Snape was so surprisingly brave about his confession and about telling her truth about his feelings - to me, it's reminiscent of when he finds Dumbledore to ask him to protect Lily, and when he protects Harry and so on - it brings to mind the bravery he shows later. I loved how their opinions were so obviously different, and how neither one was necessarily right or wrong, but they just both were - it's a very human characterisation of them you've got and I love it.

Your writing in this is so lovely in this. Your description at the beginning with the room and Lily walking around was so beautiful - it really brought the whole thing to life so, so well. You tend to repeat words at times, so it might be something to watch out for, but really, it's so lovely. You have a great style and a great flow and pace to your writing :)

One small thing: Snape's dialogue where he says 'Lily. I know you're in the here', should start on the line below the paragraph, rather than be included in it ;)

This is a really lovely piece - so bittersweet and so almost sad, even though I don't ship them, for the lack of realisation from Lily and for Snape knowing it's never going to happen (though the whole magically-freezing her thing was a bit creepy, not gonna lie :P). Good luck in the challenge! :)

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aphoride!

Thanks for swapping with me. :)

I've been getting a lot of nerves about the Snape/Lily ship and I want to shout that it's not really a ship cause they don't get together, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. :) I'm so glad that it came across as a little snapshot that we've never had a chance to see. That's exactly what I was going for. I just wanted to give a bit of meat to their story.

I'm elated to hear that you thought my characterization was good. I've never written either Snape or Lily, so I was really nervous about doing them justice. Lily to me seems to be absolutely, uncompromisingly moral, so I wanted to portray that, but I also didn't want it to seem like she didn't still love/care for Snape, hence the internal conflict.

As for Snape, he's one of those characters that people either love or hate, but there's not doubt that he's incredibly complex. I don't question whether he loves Lily, but I do question his methods. I thought the freezing her to kiss her kind of fit with the creepy, possessive part of his nature. I also find him brave in the HP books, so I wanted to show that there is that braveness in him as a child...at least in certain moments.

Writing in first person was a very new experience for me, so I'm glad that you thought it went well. On re-read I will take a hard look at the repetition of words. I try not to repeat, but sometimes I get so caught up in what I'm writing that I forget to slow down and analyze it.

Thanks for catching that line. I will most certainly fix it.

Thank you again for reviewing and for leaving me such kind comments!

~Kaitlin


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Review #53, by Aphoride12 Hours: 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

25th February 2015:
Hey Joey! :D So I'm finally here for our swap - sorry it took me so long!

Okay, so because I've already read this, you've probably heard a lot of this before, but I'm going to make you sit through it again anyway because I'm like that :P So I do hope you're sitting comfortably ;) (Major, major kudos to you if you get the reference... :D)

You know how much I love your characters. They're always, always so amazing and so real and so thoughtful, you know - as though they could almost step up and off the page and just walk down a street and no one would look twice. It's such an art, characterisation, and you really do have it down to a tee. It's probably the strongest thing about your writing, and, for me, the most compelling.

I love all of your characters in this, and how different they all are - how they all have their little individual quirks which set them apart - like Destiny having that amazing reaction to the situation, like desperation turning into bravery, and Albus being so pedantic over timing, and Scorpius always being paranoid that people are out to get him :P (Though it's not paranoia if they really are, so the poor guy probably has a reason for it, unfortunately... :P) It's little things like that which most people miss in their characters, but which make them feel so alive.

Also, your dialogue is always so, so good. It feels really natural you know? It's one of those things which makes me so jealous because I hate dialogue with a passion - I'm so bad at it! - but you, like, this is a gift or something, I swear! :P Your characters always sound the right age, the right generation and everything... it's so good! :)

I have to mention that I love the little jokes in this - Huxley and Ginsberg. (Also, I love Allen Ginsberg. And the film they made of him with Daniel Radcliffe. It's so good!) :P

The plot in this was so good - it was almost better with no explanation for Pansy's motives than if there had been a motive, you know, it makes it that much more mysterious and creepy and makes her seem so much more deranged. I loved how it seemed almost random, and the use of the trick to get them there - such a tried and true method, but I loved how Pansy and her gang faked an entire literary association to do it, and how the gang went because they wanted to support their friend. It's so sad that was the result of such a nice gesture... :(

I loved the use of non-linear timeline in this, too. You do it so so well, and really, I have no idea how to do it at all so I'm so amazed by anyone who can manage it at all :P In this it works so beautifully - it heightens everything in it: the horror element, the action element, the suspense in the way we don't quite know what's happened, what's really going on until the end of it, and it's just such a cool idea.

So yeah, basically, as you know, I love this story. It's such a great idea, and such a great story, and your writing is so so good. The genre is perfectly done in this, and your characterisation is as amazing as always :)

So glad we swapped (but then, you know, I always am with you ;D)! :)

Aph xx

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Review #54, by AphorideLegacy: Legacy

20th February 2015:
Hey Sian! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

So I think you know that I'm a huge History nerd - like, seriously, it's not even funny - so I just had to drop by on this. Also, the idea of it is amazing - I love the idea of Helga, last of the four, having to choose an heir/ess to what really is sort of their child, you know, and something which means so much to them. I'm so glad True Author requested it; it's such a lovely, bittersweet missing moment.

I love the way you wrote Helga, too. I've read quite a few Helga's recently - there were none for ages and then this is the third one recently, weirdly enough... - but I love her here. I love how she's so genuinely concerned with the legacy and how important it is to her, almost as much as testament to her friends' memory and the memory of the four of them together as it is for the school. It's so sad to think that she had to make the decision on her own, at the end, but at the same time it's right that it was her alone, and not her husband with her or the teachers in harmony. There's something lovely about the idea of her passing it on to the next best person; you can imagine that tradition continuing down through the ages with the Headmasters and Headmistresses doing the same.

I loved the addition of her husband and the little mentions of the other founders, what had happened to them, and the other professors too. They were all such good characters, and I loved how with the founders, what we know of them came through Helga's memories and regrets that Salazar was gone, and Godric had died suddenly, and Rowena had essentially faded after Helena ran. There's so much tragedy in here, but it's so beautiful, in a way, because your writing really just shows the emotions of so so well.

I loved as well the mention of the anti-muggle bias, even then, and how Helga hadn't had the heart to throw Starr out of the school, but Aeres disciplined him for being offensive - also how that was an important moment for Helga and when she made her mind up. I like the idea that the Head is supposed to sort of bridge those divides, and not be biased and so on which it gives. Also, Aeres is a pretty cool character, too :P That boy needed a good talking to, haha!

The detail in here is amazing - I love the little nods to customs and norms of the era, like with Easter/Eostre difference, the mention of the strange illness, and all the references to Death, visible and real, being there, watching her and just waiting. It's a pretty creepy image, but also so beautifully written. I loved as well, though it was so sad, how Hogwarts had sort of shrunk after the founders had died/left. It often happens with legacies, and with the changing era, almost to be expected, but it doesn't make it any less sad.

Your writing, as usual, was amazing. Your description is always gorgeous, the whole thing flows so beautifully, there is absolutely nothing about this I would change. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot and I love it! I'm almost jealous it's dedicated to Ashwini :P

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

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Review #55, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: Back to Hogwarts

20th February 2015:
Hey Molly! :) So glad to be back with this story again! :)

I'm going to be honest with you, I got to the scene in the Potions classroom and I was sitting here like 'no no no, what is she doing, how can she... no no, they love each other, no!' I was so scared you were going to break them up or make them have some huge argument or something - and then everything was happy again at the end, which is good :P

I love the way you brought back Scorp's friends in this - I really liked Dorinda from the first one, she's amazing :P And I love that things have changed for Jupiter... in love with a muggle girl, poor him. That's not going to go down well with his parents :/

Scorp's pov in this was so good, too - I loved how he was so glad to be leaving the Potter's house and how he still wants things to be okay between his family about his relationship with Albus, and how he's far less bothered about grades than Albus is. People are very different, even when they're in relationships and I love that you emphasised the differences between them in this.

And I really can't quite believe that Albus and Dorinda are studying on the train :P Nerd alert, lol!

I'm so so curious about where this is going to go now they're back at Hogwarts... I think that guy from before is going to show up and be a jerk, unfortunately, but I really hope they don't split up or anything! :( Still, can't wait to see what the next chapter holds! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for another great review! Albus and Scorpius will have several ups and downs in their relationship before this fic is over, I can tell you that much... ;-)

You'll see more of both Jupiter's Muggle girl and of Colin everntually! :-)

I'm glad you like the story so far!


Molly


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Review #56, by AphorideTo Fear A Full Moon: Chapter 1

20th February 2015:
Hey there, stopping by for our review swap! :)

So I do like a good werewolf story, and I just had to stop by here!

I love the way you've characterised Pansy, and the fact that you've used her at all - she's one of those characters who I think often gets overlooked for fanfiction because she's not a nice character in the books, and so people don't tend to want to write about her, you know? So I'm so glad you picked her. Also, you wrote her so well - I loved how at the beginning you showed her prejudice against werewolves, a prejudice she'd grown up with and how determined she was to believe it, and then that she changes, not because of love, but because of what happens to her. I loved the self-involvement in the gesture to help werewolves and fight for their rights, because they're hers to, but I also loved how she changed that part of her beliefs as well. It really brings to mind Draco's transformation into less of a bully in HBP and DH, you know? It's so nice to see.

I loved as well how she left England. I think it's completely plausible that a lot of the younger - and some of the older ones, too - purebloods would have left the country after the war, even if only for a while. Dealing with the backlash would have been something a lot of them would have wanted to avoid. I really like as well how it was jealousy and almost a distrust of John which made her go to the address and then get attacked, and how devastated John was to have attacked her. It's one of those horrible situations, where no one is really the bad guy, and everyone is the victim, you know? Also, I actually liked how John left her at the end of it - the kind of guilt he'd have been carrying over that would, I think, have made a relationship almost impossible between them. It's pretty sad to think about.

Your writing in this was so good, too. I love your use of description and first person style, as though Pansy was talking to the reader - it was lovely, with a great flow. The only thing I would suggest is maybe try to have less repetition in sentences - at the beginning and in the middle both. Stylistic repetition can work really well, but too much can just damage the flow ;) It's a small thing, though, and pretty easy to fix, I just thought I should mention it! ;)

This is a really, really great one-shot. Everything about it was so good, and I really love Pansy in it - it's such a brilliant idea! Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aphoride,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a wonderfully detailed review. I actually didn't pick Pansy, she was given to me as part of the challenge. That being said one of my favorite things to write is a complex evil villain. I feel that people are rarely just good or just bad, so writing them that way is not realistic. That's why I went this direction with Pansy. I wanted her to be human, not just this one-sided awful person.

I'm glad you liked her trip to California. To me it seems like children from affluent families tend to study abroad or take long trips to foreign countries, so I thought it would be fitting for Pansy to visit the US. I toyed with the idea of using another European country, but I thought post-war that she might want a fresh start.

Thank you for your note on repetition. I will keep it in mind as I write other stories and if I go back to edit this one. I know exactly what you mean about it ruining the flow when it gets too repetitive.

Thank you for the swap and for taking the time to write this all out.

~Kaitlin


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Review #57, by AphorideHurricane Luna: He Loses on an Island

17th February 2015:
Hey there - dropping by from the BvB! :)

I just couldn't resist coming back to this story - there's something so wonderfully sweet and romantic about this story, like a proper, good rom-com, you know? So, so lovely!

So you already know that I'm so so disappointed with you for breaking them up, and so I have to admit that I was kinda disappointed they didn't get back together in this chapter... but, at the same time, it's realistic, you know? No one wants to go straight back to someone who yelled at them like that... poor Luna :(

I actually still feel kinda sorry for Rolf, I have to admit, because I don't think he meant to be so rude or angry, and he's regretting it so much... I loved the little mentions about how he's always thinking of her, and how he can't help it, and how his discoveries in particular make him think of her, and how he'd gone back to the cave with the glowing worms on the autumn equinox to observe them wanting her to be there too. You write his loss of her so, so well, without outright saying it, and I love it!

I loved as well how we learned more about his work - with the animal specimens in jars, the mentions of the book and publishers and so on, how his row of assistants were all useless (or, you know, not Luna :P), and how he'd gone on more expeditions to learn more and was looking at being pretty successful with the book. It really makes this story come to life; grounds it in reality, you know :)

You write this so, so well, too - I love all the little details in this, with the little things about Paris and the names of various authors and so on, like Gustav Eiffel. It's so, so good - so in depth, and I love it.

I can't believe Luna's gone missing! It's so sad - such a cliffhanger to end this on! - though I love that Harry wrote to Rolf when they couldn't find her, thinking he might know something, and how determined Rolf is to find her. I'm totally sure he will, though whether or not he'll actually tell her he's in love with her remains to be seen... it would be nice if he did - so cute! - but who knows?

Gah, cliffhanger! Imma have to come back soon ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph,

Ugh - sorry they didn't get back together :( Rolf seems to need to work through a few things first.

I'm really, really glad that you feel sorry for Rolf. Haha - not that he doesn't deserve to feel miserable and helpless because he certainly does, but I was worried that readers would find it hard to sympathize with him because - IT'S LUNA and everyone LOVES Luna.

I'm breathing a HUGE sigh of relief that you find the mentions of Paris, the paintings and the authors good. I did my research on this one (I've actually been to Paris a few times, but I still needed a bit of research).

Eeep - so they're not back together AND there's a little plot twist with her missing.

I can't wait to find out what you think of the next chapter.

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #58, by Aphoride(500) Days of August: Many Things

14th February 2015:
Hey there, Joey! :) So excited to swap with you again - I always love swapping with you!

I had to drop by this story - it's got less love than the other one, though they both looked so exciting, and you know how much of a sucker for a good tragic romance I am :)

I love the way you set this up, like it's a third party telling the reader the story directly - it's such a cool idea, and you use it so well. It works so beautifully in this story, too! I love the whole thing about how Fred wanted to fall in love and had no one to fall for, too, and then how you start it with the break up, 290 days in. I've never read 500 days of summer, tbh, so I don't know if this is something you took from there, but I love how you're separating it into little sections with 'Day x' and so on - it makes the non-linear timeline so much easier to follow! ;)

I love Fred's character, too - how desperate he is to fall in love, and how determined he is that it could happen. It's almost heartbreaking, it really is, because you know it's not going to, and you know it's going to really upset him. But still, I love how it's a sweet thing, but it's also a flaw - so great! :) Also, August... I love how he's so upfront about how he doesn't want anything serious, and how he seems almost concerned about making sure Fred knows that for sure. He's not a bad guy, and that's part of what I love about them both - they just... miscommunicate. Lines get crossed, and then people get hurt. It's just one of those things, but so unfortunate.

Your writing in this is so, so good. I love the way you write the sections, and your description is so lovely - the mentions of the sunset and all. Your dialogue is gorgeous, too, it's so strong and so true to life, you know, and the whole thing is just so evocative and emotive, especially with the simple style.

I love the whole ending, too, with August married to someone else, having found the right guy and believing in true love, and Fred being alone and happier. It wasn't the expected ending, but I love it - it works so well for them! :)

All your details in this were amazing, as well - I loved the Quiberon Quafflepunchers mention and everything like that ;)

So yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling... the long and short of it is that I love this story and I'm so glad we swapped so I got a chance to read it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #59, by AphorideWaiting on You: Waiting on You

14th February 2015:
Hi Erica - happy Valentine's Day! :) Found time to squeeze you in... :P Hope your boyfriend appreciates the dinner you're making for him ;)

Okay, so I had to stop by on this one - I thought it might be nicer than others, considering this one had a few less reviews ;)

I love the way you've characterised Albus and Scorpius in this - they're so cute and so sweet - with Scorpius being more nervous about coming out than Albus is - it makes so much sense considering Scorpius' family haven't exactly been known for being open-minded in the past, with the pureblood supremacy and all ;) Also, I love how Albus understands that Scorpius might be scared and doesn't blame him for it or want to push him into making that kind of decision. They're so great! :)

Also, I love how you dealt with the subject matter - coming out can be incredibly difficult for people, and I love how you wrote that into it so sensitively. It was beautiful! :) The ending was so perfect, with the two of them doing it together!

Your writng was gorgeous, too! I'm always so impressed by people who do these kinds of micro-stories in 500 words and things, because they're always so amazing, and this was no exception. It's so great and so simply beautiful, with the description of feelings and so on. So, so lovely! :)

I loved this one-shot - sorry if this review is a little short, but I don't really know what else to say other than I love this over and over again - it's so great! :)

Aph xx

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Review #60, by AphorideHer Favorite Holiday: Her Favorite Holiday

14th February 2015:
Hi Selene! :) Happy Valentine's Day - hope you're having a great day whatever you're doing for it! ;)

So I'm a huge Molly/Arthur fan - I mean, they're just so perfect together! Who doesn't love them, seriously? - so I had to stop by here ;)

I just want to say first that I'm not sure how I feel about the ending and that twist... I mean, from the some of the comments Arthur made and other characters made throughout it I wondered, of course, but I wasn't sure and, well, it's so sad... poor Arthur. Alone for the first time after fifty-three years or something on Valentine's Day... :( How could you do that to him? So cruel of you...

That being said, I did love the way you wrote it. The little glimpses of the flashbacks, of the first time he asked Molly out, their first date, his nervous, fumbling proposal (I love that he skidded into her and forgot to give her the ring for so long - it's just so perfectly in character! :P)... all of it was so, so good. Especially the moment where he runs into Victoire and Teddy in Diagon Alley, and how happy he is to see them, despite the undoubted pain the day is causing him, you know.

Your characterisation of Arthur is amazing. I'm terrified to write Weasleys, you know, because I don't think there's anyway I could get them right (I'm just not funny. Not funny at all.), but you really get him perfectly in this - he's exactly as he is in canon, down to the excitement about plugs :P

Your writing is gorgeous, too. I love your description - it's so beautiful, with the roses, and the Three Broomsticks, and the mention of the ring as a 'glimmer of gold' - it's just so, so lovely. This is a really, really sweet, heart-wrenching one-shot, and I think, in a way, the ending is so right for it. There would have been too much happiness otherwise :P

So yeah, I loved this - it's so gorgeous! :)

Aph xx

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Review #61, by AphorideA Magical Christmas.: A Magical Christmas.

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day - hope you're having a great day, whatever your relationship status ;)

So I have to confess that I never read the Winter Wonderland entries during the competition - Christmas was a surprisingly busy time of year this year! - so I just had to stop by here! :)

I love this you know - it's amazing! I love how it highlights the difference a holiday like Christmas can make, both in terms of making people feel both better and worse. Like how Angie's normal Christmas makes her feel like something's wrong, so left out, and then Christmas at Hogwarts she feels a little left out, but the holiday gets better for her and she enjoys it more, gets a glimpse of what perhaps a more normal Christmas is for other people. It's a strangely bittersweet message, even if it has a happy ending - because you can't help but think of all the people who don't experience that 'normal' kind of Christmas.

I love Angie's character - she's so curious about things, and so almost nervous about things, too - and the mentions of her family. It's such a sad situation for kids to be in, but I love how you don't talk about it in a way to make you feel sorry for her - it's simply a fact for her, and I like that. It makes it seem more real. The surrounding characters were so great, too - Jordan Shacklebolt and Slughorn and even the Slytherin boy who sort of mocks her for not knowing things. It just really filled out the whole story. Oh, and Professor Blackthorn! Loved her! :)

The ending of this was so great, with everyone getting involved and the snowball fight and the kids staying at Hogwarts being friendly with each other - it was so sweet! :)

Your writing in this was so good, too! I think I've read some of your older stuff before, and it's so, so great! Your description especially was lovely - I loved your descriptions of Hogwarts at Christmas time and London under snow - they're so gorgeous and really evocative. Like, they really bring the scene to life and I love that.

This is a fabulous one-shot. I'm so disappointed I didn't read it before, but so glad I read it now! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review.

And I hope you are having a great day. To be honest, Valentine's day doesn't really mean much to me. I've been spending the day correcting exams.

Yeah, Angie is a pretty matter-of-fact kind of kid. She's had a tough time and she does get a bit down about it some times, as can be seen here, but on the whole, she's pretty much accepted her life as normal and deals pretty well with it.

Glad you like Professor Blackburn. She only plays a small part in this story, but she is a significant character in my next gen. series and I have a one-shot about her own Hogwarts days, "No Room at the Inn". As you could probably figure out from this, she has her own problems and is one of my favourite characters from my next gen. series.

Jordan Shacklebolt appears as a minor character in that too, so I do know these characters.

Really glad you liked the story. Thanks again for the review.


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Review #62, by AphorideThrough the Half-Moon Spectacles: Preparing for What is to Come

14th February 2015:
Hi there! :) Happy Valentine's Day - Singles Appreciation Day, whichever is more applicable for you ;) Either way, I hope you're enjoying yourself! :)

Okay, so I'm actually writing Albus Dumbledore myself at the moment, and I love reading portrayals of him, so I just had to stop by this! :)

You know, I've not actually read anything about him as a portrait before, and I think I've only read a couple of stories involving portraits before - though tbh, I'm really not sure - so I love the way you've gone with this. A story about portraits is so original and I love it! :) I love as well all the details about the potraits you've gone into in this - how they can talk to each other mentally, like a telepathy thing, without being next to each other, how feelings and knowledge of their I guess former selves are dulled and dimmer than they were in real life, but how they still remember their past lives. It's so fascinating to see the world you've developed for them in this! :)

Your portrayal of him is so lovely, too - I love the mention of the details of how well he knows Snape and mentions of the students and the way he can feel the castle's energy, like he's become part of it - a sort of fitting tribute to the longest-serving headmaster, especially considering he was buried on Hogwarts grounds. It's so true to his portrayal in canon, and I love it so much! :)

Your writing is so lovely, too - your description is great and really builds up this sense of patience, as though he's got all the time in the world to see things through and no sense of time. It's so great - so evocative of the mood. I love it! :)

This is a great story - it's so lovely! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi! Happy Belated Valentines day! I apologize for responding to you so late! I still appreciate that you took the time to read and review this though! ♥


And yes, I am single, so props to all the singles out there! *does cheer dance.*



Oh really? Cool, cool! I'm glad this caught your attention. :) Well, I wish you luck, though I'm sure you'll do marvelous anyway! :D


I think portrait stories are rare in its own. I don't think I've read a story that solely focuses through a portraits pov either.

I'm happy that you like the way I gone with this, because honestly, I was just pulling at what I think or came up with head canons (before that word came out haha -) of how a portrait works.


Haha! Thank you! I feared writing Dumbledore that whole time writing it. Him and Snape. I'm also glad that you sensed the patience and the suspense I was building. A reviewer - an anonymous one too - didn't seem to grasp that and attacked me on it. :( Again, though, I'm happy you caught on what I was aiming for. ^_^


Thank you! I'm really happy you enjoyed this! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! ♥ ♥



- Asphodel


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Review #63, by AphorideFanged Revolution: Chapter the Second

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day, Olivia! Hope you're having a great day, whatever you're doing! ;)

I had to come back to this when you requested - totally in the mood for some vampires this evening ;)

I love how you've carried this on from the previous chapter, how we got a glimpse into the Ministry and their actions and why they did what they did - the whole Malfoy-and-Osbert relationship thing is incredibly creepy and manipulative and I kinda love it :P - and how Ignatius reacted to the news of the results of his actions. I kinda feel a bit sorry for him, you know - how was he supposed to know the girl in question was the Minister's daughter? Poor guy...

I like, though, how you're developing him as a character. How, despite being a normally 'evil' creature, he's moral enough to feel obligated to stay and sort things out after he caused it all by killing the girl. It's an incredibly brave and righteous thing to do - makes me think if he went to Hogwarts he was a Gryffindor... it's a neat turn-around of the stereotypical vampire presentation. I love as well the other vampire, too, how he's gonna go along and help Ignatius in his efforts.

As I said before, I love the whole relationship thing between Malfoy and Osbert, how they work together, but not quite together - with Osbert being official minister, but Malfoy sort of unofficial minister behind the scenes. It's an incredibly corrupt ministry and political regime, but I love it - it really reminds me of the ministry in canon and how corrupt that was.

Your writing in this, as before, is really good! I love the description you put into it, and the dialogue is so good, too - so real and so true, it's so great! :)

This is such a good story and I'm enjoying it so much! :)

Aph xx

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Review #64, by AphorideAnd if they fall (as Lucifer fell): A Murder

14th February 2015:
Hey, Leonore! :) Happy Valentine's Day - hope you're enjoying it with Mr Leonore (too soon? :P Eh, but I dunno what else to call him... tempted to just use Dave, but I dunno which is funnier... huh) ;)

Anyway, so I just had to stop by on this story - I mean, it's exactly my kind of thing. Like, I don't know if you realised, but all you need is a pretty blonde gay boy in here and it's pretty much exactly my kind of story (I have no idea why they work their way into everything. Swear to god, I don't know...) :P But yeah - Founders (totally my thing) and murder mystery (again, totally my thing). So. Cool. :D

I love the way you've started this - it's such a brilliant start to a story, with the introduction of the main characters (and I hope we find out so much more about them all! So excited to see where you go with them! :D), and the murder, too... and potential red herrings as to who the murderer is - since everything in this chapter suggests either Killian or Helena as the murderer, which is clearly not the case (or is it? :P But nah, it'd be too obvious...).

I love the use of the description and the details in this, too - with the inclusion of religion, mention of Confession and not revealing the things people tell you during it, and mention of the Founders teaching classes. It's so lovely, you know - so great! And all the details really bring out the sense of the era, you know :)

I'm so excited to see where you're going to go with this - totally favouriting this and following this as it goes on! I really wanna see what happens, find out who did it and so on... I'm totally certain that Helena's secret is that she's either gay or bisexual, and Killian and Rowena both don't know. hm... don't know what else is going to come out about the other characters... :)

I'm so excited about this story, though - I love it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

Oh, I'm single now - my boyfriend and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. I actually spent the evening playing a gig for a wedding, which was great fun.

By the way, my rule for review responses for this story is that I will not comment on anything plot-related, or else I WILL end up accidentally giving things away. I love reading deductions though!

Hmm... pretty blond gay boy. That could be hard to work in, due to this being set in a, um... not particularly progressive society, so pretty blond gay boys are going to attempt to hide their sexuality. You never know though. ;)

I decided for a murder mystery we need to get to know the characters because, after all, the reader needs to be able to guess who the murderer is! Introducing the characters and putting in place the first clues is important.

The initial idea for this story was "founders murder mystery" - I love founders and there aren't very many multi-chapter founders era, especially non-romance ones. And writing founders is so much fun! If a little research-intensive. I spent so much time trying to find out about the Celtic Church! Trying to figure out the similarities and differences between the Church of England today and the Catholic Church 1000 years ago. But yeah, I'm a little obsessed with random details. ;) It's good to hear other people don't mind - even like - that detail - worth the hours of research! (OK most of the "hours of research" were spent getting sidetracked by interesting stuff but you know... :P )

Thank you so much! I'd better get on with finishing chapter 2 of this, hadn't I? *makes mental note to do so next time I manage to get writing time* Hopefully this lovely review's managed to push me to get back to it!

~ Leo xx


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Review #65, by AphoridePicking Up The Pieces: One

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day - or Singles Appreciation Day, if you prefer - whatever fits best for you ;)

I hope you're okay with me stopping by on this, but since it's a single review, I thought it would be better off - and I love sibling-relationship-centric stories, especially ones involving sisters, seeing as I'm a sister myself.

I love this. I'm so disappointed I didn't find this before, but so pleased I found it now - at least I found it! :D

This is a beautiful story, with the two characters and the lovely writing and the gorgeous, bittersweet plot. The way you write this is so evocative, you know - you pull the reader into it and the emotions are so good and so strong, you make me feel them and feel for the characters. Plus, your use of first person is so so wonderful here - it really makes it seem like the characters are talking directly to you, you know, or like I'm reading their diary or a web-blog or something where this has been written down. There's this lovely, intimate almost sort of sense to it which I just love :)

I love the way you've characterised both Victoire and Dominique, too. I like how different they are as people - siblings are incredibly different to each other, usually, and sometimes people seem to miss that - and how they both react differently to things. The whole theme of Victoire normally being the one to look after Dom and look out for her is so, so lovely - and it's definitely true that as an older sister you do feel you have to (I have two younger sisters, so I can vouch for this personally ;D) - and how then it's reversed with Vic not being able to cope and Dom having to help her. It's such a lovely, generous, familial moment and I adore it. I'm a real sucker for anything family-related, haha.

I have to say, as well, that I love how it was with Vic a series of small things which just built up on her until she couldn't cope. Yeah, big things get you down and make life difficult, but I liked how you showed that sometimes, things can just snowball. It's surprisingly easy, in a way, to lose control of your life in that sense.

This is such a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot and I'm sorry if this review is a bit short, but there's nothing more I can say other than repeat how much I love this story so much :)

I'm so so glad you stopped by! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!
First off, I just need to say thank you for such a wonderful review! Reading this made me so, so happy! I had no idea that I could write something that would affect people like this story has, so thank you for telling me that this felt real. I don't have any sisters, so I could draw from real life, and had to go from relationships that I have with friends and cousins that feel like what I would imagine a sisterly bond could feel like.
I'm so glad you liked show I characterized Vic and Dom! For some reason, as soon as I started writing them I just knew that Vic was the responsible one and Dom was more of a free spirit. I got a really strong sense of who they were as people, so writing them came really easily to me.
I know that lots of little things can stress me out, especially when I can't see a way to sort through them and stay calm, so I wanted to show Vic in a similar situation.
Again, thank you so much for such a lovely review. It really warmed my heart reading this!
Cassie :)


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Review #66, by AphorideHurricane Luna: They Scorch in a Desert

14th February 2015:
Hey, Beth! :) Happy Valentine's Day - and no worries about not being single! ;) Most of my friends all have partners and my parents have been married for nearly thirty years straight, so I get it ;) Hope you're enjoying the day - and that your guy is doing all the right things (rose, etc.)! :)

Now I've got the nice bit out of the way - WHAT DID YOU DO? NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU SPLIT THEM UP? LUNA LEFT? ROLF YELLED AT HER? BUT HE LOVES HER, SHE LOVES HIM - OKAY, MAYBE SHE JUST LIKES HIM, BUT STILL - HE LOVES HER! WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT? :(

As you can tell, I'm a little upset over that! I liked them as a couple... I was waiting for him to say those three little words, and now he's alone in Africa and he's upset Luna... still, I'm holding on to the idea that they're going to get back together later... :P

Still, I do like how you portray their relationship, how their differences don't always mesh well together and they can get on each other's nerves and so on. It's so real, you know? it really rounds out their individual characters too, and develops them so well as people. I love how Luna is almost too understanding, and how Rolf gets so short with her when she scares away the animal (I can't spell its name :P). They're real, human flaws and I love it! :)

As usual, your details and writing is so gorgeous! I love the little things in this story so much - the goggles from Xenophilius Lovegood, and the description of the creature and the mentions of their journey and so on beforehand. It's so lovely! :)

You know I love this story, even despite what you did to Rolf and Luna ;) Imma have to find you in the BvB soon to catch up properly! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there Aph!

Aaah! You've gotten to *this* chapter. Welp, ummm - I'm sorry? But it had to be done. What's a good romance without a little drama?

Haha - I think they both love each other, they just haven't been able to figure it all out yet. Rolf does need a good kick in the pants over this one. Luna is Luna and some readers haven't been as forgiving as you are :)

I'm still working on the last part of this one, so I can't give any hints yet.

Thanks so much for this review!

♥ Beth


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Review #67, by AphorideMistletoe Kisses: Mistletoe Kisses

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day, or Singles Appreciation Day if you're single ;)

So I couldn't resist stopping here, because I just read a pretty dark story and a good bit of fluff after something dark is always great! ;)

I love the way you set this up, you know. The idea of enchanted mistletoe is so brilliant, but can end up cliche, you know, so I love how this really isn't a conventional mistletoe story, with how it happens and all that kind of stuff.

Scorpius is such a great character, too. I love how he's so nervous about coming into contact with Hugo and being stuck under the mistletoe with him; it's incredibly sweet, and so true to life, too. I mean, anyone who's ever had a crush on someone knows how awkward it would be to have that happen to them... And I love as well how terrified he is of Rose, haha, she seems properly scary - the older sister I've always tried to be :P

Hugo is so cute, too! I love how after Scorpius kisses him, he's still stuck there, with his hand on his mouth like he just can't believe it - it's so sweet! :) I love as well his comment to Rose about why Scorpius was late to the prefects' meeting, how he was kissing him instead - though I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for Scorpius about that one, I imagine Rose will be reading him the riot act about dating/kissing her little brother afterwards :P

Your writing is so great, too! It really feels like a teenager is talking, you know - the voice of Scorpius is amazing and so good! Your description is so lovely, and the details in this are so gorgeous, too, with the mentions of Albus and Fred and how terrible Scorpius' day had been (haha, I loved the 'it's not teenage melodrama' thing too :P), with the bad breakfast foods and so on.

This is a lovely, lovely one-shot! I'm so glad I read it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: HELLO!!! Awww thank you! Happy valentines day to you too!! :D

I'm so glad that you picked my story to read to cheer you up after reading something dark.

Thank you! I wanted to use the cliche of mistletoe, but put my own spin on it. I'm glad that you love what I had done.

Scorpius has such a crush on Hugo, he's so adorable haha, I should write more of them either before this or after? Oh Scorpius is so terrified of Rose, I think most people are.

Hugo is struck dumb for a moment when he gets kissed. He doesn't know how to react because he's fancied Scorpius for a while himself. :D Oh yes! Rose is totally going to read him the riot act! :P Hugo has landed Scorpius right in it.

Aw thank you so so much! You are amazing for saying such wonderfully kind things. You've made my entire life!

Thank you so much Aph!!! xxx


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Review #68, by AphorideSeven--Four--One--Nine--Eight--Two (Am I a Good Man?): Chapter 1

14th February 2015:
Hi there - Happy Valentine's Day! :) Hope you're enjoying it - single or not! ;)

I loved this story - it's so creepy and dark and beautifully sobering, you know? All the angst and everything - it really makes you feel for him, in a way, and for their entire family, and how the war and things destroyed them. It's so incredibly sad.

I love the way you characterised Barty Sr, with the illusions to potential regret and how he loves his wife and doesn't really know how he feels about his son and how he feels so awkward about treating Winky nicely... it really works into what we see him doing in canon, you know? With his anger at Winky letting his son escape and all the rest.

The way you wrote Winky and his wife and the memories of his son were so good, too. Even though you didn't necessarily include all the characters in the actual fic, only by description and discussion, there was this wonderful sense of them, you know? Winky especially was so wonderful, with her being so upset about Barty Jr's incarceration and everything, crying in his room and all. So incredibly sad. It really made me feel for her.

The way you wrote this was so gorgeous, too. I loved the dark/creepy atmosphere in here, with the sense of not quite being sure what's going on, if memories are just haunting him, if he's being affected by a Dementor, or if it's something else. There's this sense, though, definitely of something supernatural and longing and grief which I just love! Your writing is incredibly evocative and you write the genre and style so well. It's a triumph of genre, truly.

So yeah, I love this - all the characterisation, the use of the flashbacks, the mood of it - it was all just so, so gorgeous. So glad you stopped by! ;)

Aph xx

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Review #69, by AphorideThe Ides of March: Melancholy were the sounds.

14th February 2015:
Hey there, Kiana! :) Happy Valentine's (Singles! :P) Day! :D

I think I've said this before, but your writing in this story, the characterisation of both Eleanor and Helena and Rowena, the plot in it - all of it is just amazing. It's so breathtaking, it's actually really hard to review, because it feels too much like I'm just repeating myself over and over again :P

Is it bad that as sorry as I feel for Helena and Eleanor, and how Helena has to get married and try then to preserve their relationship during that, I do also feel a little sorry for Rowena? There's something so sad about her constantly being so disappointed in her daughter and not understanding, even if it's unspeakably cruel to Helena :( You kinda just want to bang their heads together and make them get along, almost.

Your Helena is amazing, though. I love how romantic she is, but how angsty she is, too - though it's so realistic for the time. There really is no hope for them, and there's something so captivatingly brave about their whole romance and relationship which I just love to pieces - even more so because we know it's doomed, you know? In this chapter, I loved the way you had her practice walking the way she was instructed - for some reason, it struck me pretty deeply, as though simply by conforming to walk in the 'right way', it's a symbol of a deeper conformity and a deeper repression, almost. I have no idea if that's what you were going for, though :P

Also, the whole musing on how men and women are so different was so cool - it's one of those things which is so sensible if you think about it, haha, like it makes sense! :P Rationally, it's perfect! :)

Your writing, as always in this, is an absolute tour-de-force - your description, your dialogue, the set-up of this chapter and the entire plot overall. Especially the description. I adore the little inclusions of religion in this, and your use of colour with the blue for lies. It's so, so lovely! So evocative and so emotive, too. So, so wonderful - I can't say that enough! :)

So yeah, I love this, and I love you, and this is a wonderful story! Hope you enjoy your Valentine's Day! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura!! Thanks for this lovely Valentine's Day review, I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to get to it. :P

Aw, thank you so much! These two have definitely been among some of my favourite characters to write about as they're just so different from anyone else and you can really explore a wide range of issues with them.

I know, but as we know from canon, Helena never actually ends up married to him, but what caused her to end up in Albania is another question... I get what you mean about Rowena because though she has lots of skills, people skills is something she severely lacks and you really wish that she could work on them because then everything would be better again. Rowena does have a few surprises to come though...

Aw, thank you so much, I'm so glad that you like her as she is very close to my heart. I think that's why I like historical stories so much because unless you went by the prescribed norm, you really didn't stand much of a chance as everyone and thing were acting against you. Aw, thank you, you're definitely right about it symbolising conformity and repression and even though her mother goes outside of societal norms, she still wants her daughter to be within them.

Bahaha, I know, because the whole men are from Mars, women are from Venus is so true are a lot of the time as we really are quite different.

Aw, thank you so much! This review means so much to me as you were so kind and just ♥ ♥

I hope you had a good Valentine's Day too! :D

-Kiana


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Review #70, by Aphorideour reality.: Chapter Three

14th February 2015:
Hi Emily! :) Happy Valentine's Day - or Singles Appreciation Day if you're single! :P

I really, really love this story - it's such a brilliant idea and such a great alternative to the normal James and Lily and Marauders version, you know? And Dorcas is such a great character, I love her to pieces! :)

I really love how you develop her friendships with both Izzy and Marlene in particular, and the Order lot (thank god you developed a collective noun/name thing for them :P Writing 'Marlene and Lily and the Marauders' each time would be too much :P) in this - it's so great! Like, it feels like people becoming friends, you know? Like when you're put with someone to work on a project and you find yourselves becoming friends kinda because you have to, but there's more to it than that... it's so great and so realistic. Plus all of your characterisations of the people in here are amazing, so it just makes it so much better! :P

Your dialogue kills me too. I am so jealous of your ability to write dialogue. Please tell me how you do it? Pretty please? Because everything you write feels so natural, and so right, like it's something they would actually say, and there's these wonderful little witty bits, or comments which are so, so good too :)

Of course, your description is so great, too - I love the way you described the common rooms, especially! They both sound so beautiful and so nice - like I love the sound of the glass down the side of the Ravenclaw Common Room, and the windows in the Hufflepuff Common Room. I almost want them to go into the Slytherin CR soon, just so I can see you describe it :P The details you include are so, so lovely - with the nicknames and how Marlene's still writing, and the Claws all leaving a book behind when they go, it's such a beautiful tradition. I really wanna go there... :P

I love this story so much, and I'm so unbelievably curious as to where this is going to go, with the Order and Dorcas and Marlene... they need to have that conversation between them! :D I'm waiting for it! :P

Definitely not going to leave it so long before coming back next time! :)

Aph xx

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Review #71, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: Aftermath and Arrangements

14th February 2015:
Hey Mallory! :) Happy Valentine's Day - whether you're single (like me!) or not! :D

You know how much I love this story, and I've felt so bad that I've been so far behind on it, plus you updated recently, so I couldn't resist coming by - it's the holidays, so yay for free time! ;)

I love the way you have Annie here - it's so lovely with another glimpse of Hattie, and the mentions of Freddy and them all. The bit with the letters is so great - it's one of those things I can definitely idenfity with, wanting to say things which you can't in letters and emails, and thinking them instead; it's probably something most people can identify with, I think, and I love it! Plus, Annie's insults are so great, and I love the way she has a relationship with her owl - it really brings to mind a dog-owner relationship, you know? So sweet! :D

Also, I loved the flashback, with her first meeting James and a glimpse of her sister, Bea, who was such a cow! So rude... I'd never treat my little sisters like that! The thing is, I loved the scene, but the actions inside it, were so horrible - with Bea being so cruel at the beginning, with the nickname, and then James taking it up as a way to potentially impress her, because of the crush. I loved the mention of the crush too, it's such a teenage thing to do, too! :)

The details are so great, in this - I love the story of the haunted toilet plunger, haha, and the Wizflix with the Life and Times of Harry Potter. I laughed out loud at the second one - I can just imagine seeing Harry's face at the idea! :P And how she asks Sephrenia to bite Freddy, haha :D Freddy deserves it, really!

Your writing is so great in this, too - I love your description: especially the way you write the first scene, with the image of her waking up and the 'kiss' of the sunlight through the blinds - it's such a gorgeous image! :D The way you write this is so, so good - but you know I love your writing, anyway! ;)

I'm so excited to see what happens next, and I hope you have a great Valentine's Day! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Yep, it's not Valentine's Day anymore, and I'm still a single pringle. :)

I'm glad that you liked Annie and Hattie! I had so much fun writing Annie's letter to James with all of the crossed out words and stufff--it's quite cathartic, in a way. Annie loves Sephronia, even though sometimes she's annoyed by her rogue owl. :)

Bea is quite a cow, I agree. And that first meeting with James was absolutely awful for Annie, so I hope that it came across. The things some people do for love... This was one of the scenes in which I hated James for acting so awful. :/

Thank you! I tend to put several random things in my chapters, and the haunted toilet plunger was one of those. I still chuckle about it when I go back and read the chapter again. :) Wizflix and The Life and Times of Harry Potter will (hopefully) have a bigger role in one of my stories one day, because I've referenced The Life and Times of Harry Potter so many times in the upcoming chapters. It's getting to be a bit ridiculous. :D (Freddy totally deserves to be bitten, and Sephronia totally bit him.)

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I never know what to do with description, so I just try to set the scene before continuing on with the plot. I'm glad it worked! :D

Happy (two months late!) Valentine's Day! ♥


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Review #72, by AphoridePainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

13th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Dropping by from review tag!

I'm a bit of a sucker for Draco/Astoria - there's something so wonderful about the potential within them, you know, given that we know next to nothing about her or them - so I just had to stop by on this. Plus, your summary was so good, it really drew me in - as so many of your other stories did too! :)

I love the way you portray both Draco and Astoria in this, especially Draco! I love how you don't try to make him fixed, or suggest that Astoria fixed him either, after the war, but he's still struggling to move on from it - it's so true to life that, because even smaller things have huge effects on people, so it's hard to imagine what something as big as a war would do to teenagers who were in it, you know? At the same time, you've managed to give a more sensitive, less haughty and rude picture of Draco without it seeming out of character - which, I have to be honest, is pretty impressive ;) He's such a complicated soul, your Draco, and I love it - you kinda just want to hug him, haha, and tell him he'll be better, eventually.

Also, I love the way you describe Astoria in this. How she isn't beautiful, especially and how Draco doesn't see her as beautiful. It's something I think a lot of people are guilty of - making their characters beautiful, if not in general, at least to the main character or love interest (I do it all the time), so I love how you've moved away from that. It makes the whole feel of this so much more feel, and so much more emotive because there's this beautiful sense that the two of them connected on a level beyond purely physical attraction - like there's so much more than that between them. I love it :)

Just got to mention as well how I loved the lack of coyness between them, how they both couldn't hide the fact that they liked each other :P So cute!

Your writing is so gorgeous, too - I love how clean and crisp your writing was, and how emotive your writing is. Also, I love how you used present tense here - it's so effective! :) The description is gorgeous, too - it was so wonderfully used to bring out all the emotions in this, so much so that I could really feel them - it was lovely! :)

This is such a beautiful start to a story - it's gorgeous! It's so lovely! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello! :D

Oh no, I don't think a man or woman can 'fix' anyone. You have to be able to save yourself in life. I think that's part of what this story is about. They're both crumbling in different ways and they need to work through their issues and give themselves strength before they can meet each other again and be the people you see here in the prologue.

I'm guilty of doing the same thing. I either make the character awkward and she comes out this beautiful swan at the end or just beautiful up front in general but she's just Astoria. Sure she's beautiful but she has quirks, everyone does, he notices them but he accepts them and it doesn't bother him because he likes her. It's not all about looks! Heck, I think my boyfriend is pretty darn handsome but others do not agree but they say the same thing about me.

GAH! THIS REVIEW WAS WAY TOO NICE! Thank you so so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and sorry for the late response! I've been sick and busy!


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Review #73, by AphoridePlaying for Keeps: The Boss and the Business Proposition

11th February 2015:
Hey Mallory! :D It's been far too long since I stopped by here, really it has... so I'm here now! :)

Okay, so I really loved this chapter - the mystery which is included in this, moving the plot so far forward, and the characterisation of Annie and Fred. It's so cool - and I'm so excited to see what happens next, who Fred's 'friends' are and what they're like, what kind of shady business he's involved in.

Your characterisation, as always, is stellar. I love Annie so much - how she's so demeaning to the men she plays against normally, because they're drunk and not very clever and utterly oblivious (which is all the better for her), and yet how she knows when not to be stupid about things and when to play along, especially with Freddy!

Freddy is amazing, speaking of him. I love how he's so creepy and so charming at the same time - it's this gorgeous duality in his character - and he's so cruel whilst being so happy, it almost makes you miss it, you know? (Which is also partially down to your wonderful writing! ;D) He's so clever and so mad, he sort of reminds me a bit of Barty Crouch Jr, you know? I'm so excited to see where you go with him - he's so fascinating :)

Your writing, as always, is so, so good - I love the way you've done it, and your dialogue is amazing. Your word choice as well is exceptional - I loved how you used diabolical and shrewd, and the casino language (hustler and so on) in it. It was so good! Plus, your description is lovely - all of it is so beautiful and so evocative, with the images and emotions it all provokes :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I loved it so much, it's so lovely! And I really, really can't wait so long to come back next time! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there! It's actually not three months later, and I'm finally answering this! :D

Fred's friends are shady, indeed. I can't wait to hear what you think of them. :) The mystery seems to increase with every new chapter, and I don't know how to stop it! It's just too fun to write like this.

Thank you! Annie is so awful to those men because they're so awful in general. And maybe they'll think twice about underestimating girls next time? Who knows... However, she does have to walk a fine line with Freddy, since he's her boss and very shady to boot. If he does something bad to her, who knows if the Wizarding World will sympathize with her? He's a Weasley and a successful businessman. She's just some girl who works for him. So yeah, that dynamic means that she has to be careful. She can definitely beat him at pool, though.

Freddy is kind of a psychopath, which is why he's so fun to write. He is a MAJOR creep, but his charm hides that sometimes. Ooh, Barty Crouch Jr! I haven't thought of that before, but you're definitely right in comparing them. Freddy will go in many places, trust me. :)

Awww, you are too, too kind. I love words, so throwing some fun ones in every now and again is what I live for. And dialogue between Annie and Freddy is different every single time. I never know what's going to happen, and while that's scary, I love it.

Thanks for swapping with me! We'll have to do it again sometime. :D

♥Mallory


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Review #74, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: Embarrassing Moments

11th February 2015:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :)

I loved this chapter, you know - it's such a fun, lighthearted chapter, with all those lovely little bits of humour dotted around it, and it's such a difference with the first chapter, when they were at Scorpius' parents house, and how awkward that was. It was such a lovely comparison, but also kinda bittersweet, given the comparisons between their two families - it sort of also highlighted how awful it is for Scorpius with his parents.

The characterisation in this again was so good, with James and Lily, too - and Albus struggling to sleep and all that kind of thing. I especially love Lily - she's so typical of a teenager with the quick mood swings, and sudden childishness, and then all the teasing of her brother :P Ginny was so good, too, telling the kids off ;)

I really loved the humour in this, too - the little digs in there at how Scorpius was so embarrassed at being 'caught' sleeping in Albus' room (I was so convinced there was going to be a joke there, lol!), and then Lily with the 'oh that's what they're calling it these days' jokes. Dear god, it's like seeing me in written!teenager form, haha. Especially with the nickname...

Also, I forgot to mention earlier - I love how embarrassed Scorpius gets about being teased. It's a little thing, but I love it because again it kinda emphasises how his parents try to pretend the relationship doesn't exist and he doesn't have any siblings to tease him. Poor kid.

Your writing in this is lovely as usual - so emotional again, and so individual to the voices of the characters which I love. It really allows for the important bits - the sense and the feelings in this - to come through so well. The humour was so well written into it, too - can you teach me how to humour, please? :P

Thank you so much for the swap - I always love catching up on this story! (Slowly but surely ;D)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you Aph for another lovely review!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and that you find it humoristic too. I think humour is among the hardest things to write. I want Albus and Scorpius to have a good (though certainly not a perfect time) before all the troubles begin. (It's not too much of a spoiler to tell that trouble of one kind or another will turn up sooner or later...!)

Yes, I wanted to point out the differences between their families. While Scorpius's parents reluctantly accept their relationship, Albus's family fully include Scorpius. That's a great difference.

Lily is, in a way, my sister, who could be just as moody and annoying at times (some twenty years ago, she's a darling nowadays!).


Molly


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Review #75, by AphoridePride and Scorpius: Well met on the Hogwarts Express

11th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Dropping by for our review swap - and thank you so much for the lovely review you left me, it was such a great thing to get! :D

So, I have to admit that I'm secretly a pretty big Jane Austen fan (don't tell anyone, though, it'll spoil my reputation... :P), and especially Pride and Prejudice, so I just had to stop by on this one when I saw it. I've read another story with a Pride and Prejudice twist on it, but that was an AU, so it'll be so interesting to see your take on it :)

I love how right away in the first chapter you set up the whole themes of both pride and prejudice - especially the prejudice, with Rose and Scorpius' first meeting. Just like in the book, Rose is so rude to me, my gosh! Like the whole way she sneers at him, presumes things about him and thinks he's pathetic when he cries - she really has no interest in getting to know anything about him, because 'Malfoy' is enough to know... it's great, though, how when we first meet Rose we're introduced to her flaws right away (and Scorpius' too) - it doesn't make her a particularly likeable character, but it makes her a real one, you know? And real characters are always so much more interesting than perfect ones.

That being said, I'm not overly fond of Scorpius, either. I mean, I feel sorry for him and all - there's something very wrong when a kid expects to be hit by another kid simply because of what his surname is, you know? - but Rose has a little bit of a point when she thinks he's a bit of a crybaby. Then again, war and so on is always a sensitive subject, and Scorp doesn't seem to have many expectations of friends - plus, it looks like everyone's deliberately ignoring him, since he's alone in the compartment when everywhere else is full. Poor kid - tough break on your first day of school!

The relationship between Albus and Rose is so good, too - the way Albus calls her 'Rosie' and they have these little in-jokes between them, with the 'poisonous old toad' thing about Umbridge, and all that kind of stuff. It reminds me of good friends, you know, and siblings - sort of half-way in between. I love as well how they don't always see eye-to-eye on things, like over the idea of being friends with Scorpius. Again, people don't always get on with things, so it's so good! :)

I love the set-up of this chapter, too - how there's the idea that they're going to all be in Gryffindor, that (hopefully! :P or is that mean? I dunno...) Scorpius might well end up beating Rose out of the Seeker spot on the team. So many little hints and suggestions of what's going to happen in future chapters! :)

Your writing is so good, too - it's such a great writing style, so smooth and with such a great flow and pace, and you use third person pov so easily I'm almost jealous! The descriptions are lovely, but your dialogue is so strong - it's so good! :)

I'm so glad we swapped - this is such a great beginning to a story, and the Pride and Prejudice element is so gorgeous in this - and I really love this story! Gonna have to try and catch you around the forums later on! ;)

Thank you so much for both the swap and review! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: My pleasure to do a swap, especially when I get one as lovely as this in return.

I am a big fan too, naturellement. Miss Austen wrote basic templates for most (all) the ways you can write a romance: Emma is 'love was under your nose the whole time; Persuasion is 'love once lost returns'; etc, etc; and Pride and Prejudice is the ultimate template for 'hate turns to love'. It is amazing and oft copied; in fact, copied once more with my tale.

Yes, it is quite unfortunate for poor Rose because she seems to be cursed with both the Pride and the Prejudice. Scorpius has little of either. In P&P both Lizzy and Darcy had to go through their respective crises of confidence - in my tale, Rose will be going through two, one to loose her prejudice and the next to loose her pride. I am going to make it tough on the poor girl.

It is not as much that he's a Malfoy, it's more that it's just him. She has never had to deal with a boy who looks, sounds or behaves like he does. She is used to rough-housing rambunctious boys, joking and laughing and uncouth. Albus is a rare exception in her experiences and she cannot yet see the similarities between Scorpius and her favourite cousin.

They both have their flaws and, thank you, I do hope that makes them more real. Scorpius does need to grow up a bit, that's true, but he recognised Albus and thought he might have a particular grudge against him. His father has been honest with him at least and so Scorpius knows the 'evil' perpetrated by his father on both Rose's and Albus' fathers. He is almost resigned to being beaten up by them if not by more children of those whom his father wronged.

Thank you I hoped that the relationship between Albus and Rose came across as I intended. They have been so close, best friends as well as best cousins. In this story James and Lily have taken after their mother and hence the Weasleys a bit more than they have their dad. Albus is the opposite, a bit more reserved and introspective than his rambunctious siblings; I can imagine him the type (like his father was) who would quietly walk to his death knowing that it would save everyone he loved. He naturally gravitated to Rose, who is rambunctious enough, but likes to read and is far more studious than most of the rest of their cousins.

Yes their sorting will be problematic for some of them and unusual for at least two of the three. Quidditch will also be a problem, there is a whole chapter devoted to their try-outs and then a few more scenes here and there about the consequences thereof.

This praise for my writing style is really touching. I constantly doubt myself - I tend to write: one, like an engineer, bluntly and matter-of-factly; and two, a bit old-fashionedly that can stray into becoming stilted. As for my dialogue, I try and try and obviously have made inroads into what was always my weakest point.

Thank you as well,

No doubt I will catch you around the forums or the BvB challenge.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.



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