Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
474 Reviews Found

Review #51, by AphorideDiversions from Reality.: Afternoon Delight...

22nd March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I hope it's okay I chose this one, since I haven't read any of your big -verse, so I didn't want to jump in where I might not understand how it all works and so on. Plus, Sirius/Lily is one of those fascinating pairings where so much is possible and yet not possible, and it could be canon but could also not be, you know? :P

I love how you've characterised all of them in this - Sirius and Lily especially, but James and Remus too. There's something so real about them you know, and they really are so reminiscent of the characters from canon, too. Like, Sirius being such a rebel and not really caring about school really fits with his personality later, and I loved the little mentions of his friends and family, and how he'd thought Lily would be good for him, and then he seems to be having second thoughts after their argument. I loved Lily, too - how she was sort of almost the exact opposite, being a lot more rule-abiding and conscientious and moral, too, even if sticking by her principles didn't make things easy with Sirius - her sticking up for Snape. But then, that's always how I imagined Lily from canon, you know? Moral and principled and she almost lives and dies by them.

James and Remus were so great, popping in - especially Remus. I loved how he and Lily were friends and did rounds together, and how James was so awkward around Sirius and Lily when he walked in on them. Poor James :P

I like how you started this with an argument, too - it's such a great hook because of the glimpse of their relationship when it's good, then seeing it break. I just want to know why it's such a big thing, if they can manage to stick it out together or if they're going to split up. Poor Lily, it's so unfair for her to feel like she should do something to make it up to him; it's not her fault he refuses to talk to her. She can't make him, after all... the little glimpse of Remus defending Sirius at first, but then agreeing to help Lily makes me so curious about how the Marauders in total will get caught up in this - will they have to take sides? Will any of them side with Lily over Sirius? So many questions! :P

Your writing in this is so lovely, too - your word choice is so spot on, and your description is great; I loved how Sirius described Lily as 'holier than thou' especially. It's so fitting for how you've characterised her in this! Your dialogue really stood out to me - it really sounds like teenagers talking, you know, and it sounds so casual and easy, like a natural conversation, which is so hard to do (at least, it is for me, haha)! It's so so good! :)

As a start this is so so good - a perfect amount of information, hook and cliffhanger at the end, and character-study type introductions. It's so exciting to see you've updated it recently, too - hopefully you keep going with it - it's a brilliant start! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Well that's just made my day!! I'm so pleased you did this as one I resurrected it recently. I like to write Lily with a mischievous streak, and I like the idea of her being drawn to Sirius but being conflicted by her morals at the same time. I don't want to give anything away but there is another pairing I'm planning on here...

And thank you, I love writing dialogue, it seems to flow quite easily for me and, I'm happy it sounds age appropriate :)

Thank you so much, I shall try and do a couple more of yours over the week

Sophie xxx

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Review #52, by AphorideA Single Point In Time: 1982

15th March 2015:
Hey there, dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry this is so late - I was painting my nails and then having dinner with a friend, so it ended up being a lot later than I thought!

I really, really loved this - this is such a beautiful, bittersweet story. It's so emotive, and so upsetting - like, you feel sorry for both Petunia and Harry, you know, and it's hard to explain, but you do.

Your characterisation is amazing. You've written Petunia so so well, it's almost as though she's stepped straight out of the canon books and into this. She's so amazingly perfect, seriously. I have no idea how you've done it; it blows my mind. I loved how she didn't quite seem to understand how to feel towards Harry, or how to act towards her. There's this kind of sense of confusion, of almost fear, with her, especially when she essentially wakes up Dudley, just to see him and hold him, because he's her son, and Harry isn't. It's almost like she needs the comfort of having Dudley, to offset the loss of knowing what to do with Harry. She can deal with Dudley, but she doesn't know what to do with Harry.

Which is especially hard considering that he's just another baby, and her nephew, so it shouldn't necessarily be that hard, you know?

I loved as well how you touched on her relationship with Lily - how she knew she didn't miss Lily enough, or the way that she should. There's something almost sadder about her knowing she should miss her sister more and not being able to, than if she didn't know.

Your writing in this, again, is amazing, just as it was in the first one. You're so so good at pulling emotion out of words and the story in general - this is packed full of emotions, and it really does make you feel everything Petunia does - and your description is gorgeous. I especially loved the way you described baby Harry - the one phrase 'the boy was a memento' was so heartbreaking in what it meant, and it almost suggested that they could never have had a normal aunt-nephew relationship; there's just so much underlying that.

This really is such a beautiful story collection, and each chapter itself is amazing. So, so good! :) Thank you so much for the swap!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Heya!

No don't worry about it ~ I've taken a million years to respond to this because I literally didn't know what to say! This review was so incredibly awesome, so thank you so much!

Petunia was interesting to write because I have so many mixed feelings about her, and I'm really glad that you managed to feel some of her confusion in this chapter. And I'm also SO glad you enjoyed the swap - you are absolutely so kind, thank you so much :D

Eek, your reviews are the best ♥

Laura xxx

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Review #53, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: The Nightmare Before Christmas

12th March 2015:
Hello again! :D Review number five! :) I have to say that I love The Nightmare Before Christmas - it's such a great film, and the title of it is so appropriate for this chapter!

(Oh, speaking of, I should say that with last chapter's title, I love Emerson, too! :D He's not my favourite poet, but he's so good!)

Again, your characterisation is so, so lovely. I loved how you had Rose stand up for herself against Scorpius and be so mortally embarassed by the argument - I think if that had been me I'd have literally melted into a puddle, haha. It was a great pair of moments to have together, you know, with their contrasting versions of Rose: one where she's so strong, and the other where she's almost helpless, in the sense that there's not really anything she can do about it, and she doesn't really know what to do, you know? It's a nice evolution of her character, I think, and it's so great to see someone showing just how much our characters and personalities change according to our moods and emotions. It's so true to life and I just love it.

I felt so sorry for Scorpius last chapter, but in this one... he's kind of a jerk. I mean, the whole argument thing really, really isn't cool. So unnecessary, and stupid - but I guess it's true enough to life and teenagers :P Yeah, he really didn't deserve Rose forgiving him so easily for that one! Her ending quip was pretty good, too - can you please teach me how you write snappy lines like that? Pretty please? I've never been able to do it...

Ohmygosh, I'm totally with Rose on Dom, too - though knowing you, this might well be a 'for the moment' kind of thing - she really does seem so self-serving and self-interested. I really can't believe she has any reason for Rose not to tell everyone what happened other than that I imagine both Bill and Fleur would flip completely. Almost a shame Rose is too embarassed by it to reveal it, tbh. Dom would deserve everything coming to her on that front!

I'm on two minds about Albus so far... I like that he maybe was trying to stand up for Rose, but the argument itself is horrible for her to sit through. Good intentions, bad result? Eh, I don't know... I'm reserving judgment on him for now :P

Your dialogue in this was especially amazing - I loved so many lines in this - Rose's last one to Scorpius, Rose's to Dom, Teddy's to Hugo (though maybe get rid of the 'please leave' from Rose to Dom - it seems a bit repetitive? Like she's said, get out already, you know?). Your description too - especially of Rose with the embarassment at the beginning, in the hall; that was so well described I could literally see it in my head and everything - the feelings and sense of it was so real.

I'm so looking forward to seeing chapter 6 when it's up (soon, maybe? Perhaps? Yes? No? I'll trade you a chapter of L'optimisme? Two? :P) - I really hope Rose, or Hugo, gets back at Hooper for that. Horrible stunt to pull! Poor Hugo... he's so sweet, too!

Anyway, I'm so looking forward to seeing where you go with this, and I'm favouriting so I can stalk this more closely :)

Aph xx

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Review #54, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: The Outsiders

12th March 2015:
Hi again, Joey! :D Review number four... and I'm already hoping you get another chapter up soon so we can just keep going ;)

I'm so so picky about characterisation in stories, I have to admit - it's one of the biggest things which turns me off books and ffs - and yours is just amazing. I love so much how all of your characters are complex, none of them are always right or wrong, they're all layered individuals, with reasons and myriad of personality traits. It's so so good, and I really can't get enough of it. Plus, I love as well how you turn normal characterisations of characters on their heads, like with Albus, and explore them deeper, too, than a lot of other authors. It's so impressive! :)

I loved how in this chapter you showed different, new sides to both Rose and Scorpius - especially in the end scene, with them as ickle firsties on the train together :P I loved how neither of them was really right - though I do feel a little more sorry for Scorpius, being so nervous and so sure everyone would bring up his family and be so rude about it (and who knows if Rose would have been or not?)... he's only eleven years old, but it seems like such a burden for him, you know? And it's so unfair for him to have to carry it. That being said, I loved how Rose wasn't exactly a pushover either - she wasn't rude, but she wasn't overly welcoming/friendly, either. It's hard to describe, but I just loved the sort of sense of tension, or apprehension from her character in that.

Of course, Albus just laughs like a mad hyena :P Typical of him!

I loved seeing the protective older-sister side of Rose come out, too. I'd have liked for her to maybe be a bit direct about it, rather than say, 'I'll tell these other people who'll do something', because those kinds of threats are far less effective, but, tbh, it's a very teenager-type thing to do, you know? Rely on other people, people who you perceive to be stronger - and then as you grow, you realise you are one of those people :) So I'm looking forward to seeing her hex them in the future ;) (They deserve it!)

(Also, that conversation with Hugo was amazing. It reminds me so much of when my sister came out to me and my other sister. Though we were more like 'we already know' :P But yeah, the teasing afterwards was so spot on for siblings! :D)

Hugo and Lysander! :D I have to be honest, I did wonder before, but I thought I was just seeing pretty blonde gay guys everywhere, haha, but I'm so glad to see it's true! They sound like such a cute pairing! :)

Your writing, as always, is so so lovely. Your dialogue is always your strongest part, and it's no different in this. I love your description too - each word is so well-placed, and right to describe exactly what you mean, and you're so good at getting the emotion out of the chapter.

So, so great... off to chapter 5! :D

Aph xx

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Review #55, by AphorideChai, Carrots, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Carrots, and a Surprise

11th March 2015:
Hey there! :) When I saw you post in review tag, I couldn't resist jumping in behind you to come back to this series. It's such a beautiful collection, I just love them all.

I've been trying to work out while reading this why it's so good, and I'm not sure I've really succeeded - or that I'll be able to explain it - but I think it's because it's so real, you know? It feels like it is something which could happen to real people in a real place in real time. On top of that, it's cute without being overly sweet or quite fluffy, and it's romantic without being cliched. It's such a perfect balance you've found in this, it really is, and there's a warmth in it which I don't even know how you make it - can you please tell me your secret? :P

No, seriously, it's an amazing sense you get in here - your description is gorgeous, and so evocative of the mood, and the setting, so much so that you can almost feel Neville's nerves yourself when you're reading it.

Speaking of, I love Neville and Hannah, too. I think I've said this before in previous reviews, but they're so, so wonderfully done. Neville still has that faintly bumbling air about him which he has in canon, but he's obviously grown up since then, and he's this wonderful mix of faintly incompetent adult and overenthusiastic teenager. Hannah is just perfect. I think I said before that she's essentially now my headcanon for Hannah, so really all I can say for her is repeat that :) I'm also so impressed by how consistent your characterisation is with them - it's so hard, to keep it the same across different stories and in longer things, but you do it so, so well.

I just have to say that the comment about the 'excessive pruning' made me laugh out loud. (And I suppose the answer is that it depends on what is being pruned, but let's leave that subject for now :P)

I'm always so fascinated by the elements of Hindi and Indian culture you put in, with the food. I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of carrots and vegetables in sweet things in general, so I may not be the ideal audience for a carrot-related pudding, haha, but you make it sound so nice that I kinda want to try it anyway. Plus, it's exciting because these are things I'm unlikely to hear much about in RL, so really I can only thank you for introducing me to them through this - I love love love learning about other cultures, so this is so great for me :)

The ending was so sweet, with the Valentine's Day mention and the kiss and Hannah's shock (good shock!) and then the acceptance! :) I'm so glad they're finally dating - it was about time :P

This is such a great series. I'm totally in love with it, as you already know ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Heya! Lovely to hear from you again :)

I'm glad that you feel that they're real. Fluff is my bread and butter, but I wanted something a little more for these two. I'm so happy that you feel like I've found a balance! I couldn't ask for more.

Haha, Neville is a lot of fun to write, and the glee that I take in making him so nervous must come through a little bit in my writing!

I wanted to write Neville as someone who's still so completely himself, despite being such a hero. He still has the same hangups as a lot of us, he's trying to figure out what being an adult means, and he's still dorky as anything. I channelled a lot of Arthur Weasley into his characterisation, actually - I feel like both Neville and Arthur are two of the most normal people in the series. And yes! Invading headcanons like nobody's business! Huzzah!

Only Neville would even consider the question of excessive pruning, let's be honest :P

I'm feeling especially proud to have almost converted a non-believer to carrot-themed desserts. Mission accomplished. What more could I want from my description? Thank you.

It was so about time for these two! But I feel like for these two, good things come for those who wait.

Thanks so much for this lovely review :)

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Review #56, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: The Art of Getting By

11th March 2015:
Hi again, Joey! :) Imma try and get all of these done before the uni internet decides it wants to throw another hissy fit and the IT guys refuse to fix it until 1pm the next day (again) :P Besides, I'm enjoying this story so much it seems foolish to wait :)

I love how your chapters continue on from each other so smoothly, and how so much of this is about exploring the after-effects of the event, without having it be overly-romantic and Rose be all 'oohhh, actually, I really love him' and so on. It's a really nice, original take on the love potion theme (which can work so well, anyway), and you've got so many interesting ideas and approaches and reactions to it in here.

I've got to say as well, that I love things with a family-centric vibe to them too. It's not often explored in ff, but I love it because it was inherently central to HP, you know, and it's such an important aspect of people's lives. Plus, it offers up so much opportunity for comedy, drama, etc. ;) So yeah, I love the family angle on it, with Al and Dom being the perpetrators, and Hugo being on Rose's side, and her friends and Hugo being so shocked that Al and Dom were behind it because they're family, and family doesn't usually do that. It also means you have brilliantly unique portrayals of Al and Dom, which I love.

I loved the scene with Al and Dom, and how Rose refused to accept their apologies. She has a point, really, in refusing to let it go so easily, and I love how she isn't and how they're so confident that she will. It really speaks volumes about what they think about the severity of it, you know? I mean, they could have killed their cousin, but nah, it's cool. Mad people. But they're brilliant characters. Hugo too - I love how laidback he is, and he sounds just like me concerning Sundays :P Sundays are a rest day, therefore I sleep *nods* Perfect logic. Also, I love how protective he is of his sister (though not to the point of getting out of bed to go down to breakfast with her, haha), again it's something I can relate to so well! :) seriously, you are so good at making your characters relatable. It's pretty amazing.

I loved the chats with Professor Spinnet, and her friends, too. It's so true that a Professor would get involved after that kind of incident, especially when it's a student like Rose who's not known for it, and I liked the little mentions of 'I wouldn't want to have to call your mother' and 'you can always talk to me'. They're such classic teacher lines and give Professor Spinnet so much authenticity as a teacher. Plus, that game with her friends - Secret Circle - sounds so much fun to play! It reminds me a lot of Never Have I Ever and similar games :)

Your writing in this, as always, is so so good. Your dialogue is super-strong, your description is lovely, especially how you describe emotions, and I love the style of this. It's so suited to the characters, and to the themes and setting of the story too.

This is going so so well - I'm so curious to know what happens and I'm so hooked into the story. You really know how to work your cliffhangers ;)

Aph xx

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Review #57, by AphorideBruises : Bruises

11th March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

So I'm not usually a fan of Sirius/OC, tbh, because I find most of them are too light-hearted for Sirius (I have way too much headcanon about him, lol), but this sounded so interesting and I love darker takes on the First Wizarding War and all that kind of thing.

I love the way with this, it focused less on their relationship and more on the effects of the betrayal, the hurts of the war in general. For me, who's not such a big romance fan, it was so perfect, in the sense it gave. There's this lovely feeling throughout it all of tension, that these people, all of the characters, are hurting so much from what's happened, that it's so easy to feel like you're about to give up, and that maybe you should because it would be better. It's not something I've seen used in ff very often, so I loved seeing it in this! :)

The way you characterised both Sirius and Emmeline was so, so great (and, as a little thing, I was so happy to see you give Peter a role in this, as so many stories just leave him out or ignore him). I loved the differences in their attitudes: how Sirius was so determined to keep going, even despite the losses but so suspicious of Peter at the same time, and how Emmeline was finding the losses so much harder to take, and finding it harder to be optimistic about it. I think they're both such natural reactions to a situation like that, and I can totally sympathise with Emmeline for the pessimism over it. They're such wonderful characters :)

Your writing in this is so great, too. Your description is so lovely, even if it's so sad, with all the dark colourings and the dramatic reactions to stress and things (like with Peter), and your use of smell within the story - it really brought the story to life, you know, and gave it almost a three-dimensional aspect which I love. I loved the way you used dialogue, too - it was so great, and again, so evocative of the mood.

The only thing I noticed which was a bit odd was Emmeline saying 'Lupin' instead of 'Remus'. Would she not think of him as Remus? It just seemed a little weird given all of the rest of them were referred to by their first names, except him... :/

Apart from that, though, this was so, so great. You write the dark aspect of it so well, and the way you handled the grief theme in it was so lovely - it was so bittersweet, in a way, for so much of this, and then the ending just... it was so sad, you know, because for Emmeline so much of what and who she knew is gone :( So heartbreaking.

Thank you so much for saying to read this - it's a lovely, lovely piece and I'm so glad we swapped! :)

Aph xx

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Review #58, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: It's Kind of a Funny Story.

11th March 2015:
Joey! I'm back! :D I'd ask if you missed me, but we both know the answer to that ;) Sorry for the delay in getting back to this, the residence internet decided to take a long walk off a short cliff yesterday evening. Anyway, I'm here now!

I love your characterisation of Rose. I know I said that before (I think), but it's true! She's such a lovely character, and you write her in such a way that it's so easy to identify with her. She's so real, and all her reactions are so real - like, I know so many people, myself included, who'd react like that, or similarly, if they found themselves in the same situation. Personally, you'd have to remove anything potentially harmful from the room before letting Albus in to see me if I were Rose :P I like as well how Scorpius does make her think, too, with the unusual behaviour at the beginning; it speaks very nicely to Hermione's intelligence coming through Ron's tact (or lack of) :P

I love your... okay, so I was about to list off all of your characters I love in this and then realised I would name them all, so I love them all, mkay? They're all so real, again, which I love about characters, and they all are so multi-faceted, and ambiguous and almost unpredictable because of it. I love Scorpius, of course, and how he seemed to want to suggest that maybe they could be friends, or something like that, and how he was so competitive when she told him it was impossible because of him. And Al... being so terrified - and rightfully so! - though not quite ashamed of his actions, and sort of trying to pass off blame onto Dom, rather than accept it. And her friends, too, who are so sure they know her better than she knows herself. They're all so, so good, and I'm looking forward to seeing how they develop later on, too - because I have a feeling you're going to take them in interesting ways ;)

A little thing, but I liked how Rose chose not to dump Albus in it with Scorpius, too. It was a strangely sweet moment (right before she chewed him out, haha).

Your writing in this is so lovely, too. You're always so good at making things emotive, and really injecting emotion into a story - Rose's distrust of Scorpius comes through so well at the beginning, and her doubtfulness at the end with her friends making the bet. I don't think I need to tell you the anger came through, haha ;) I love the way you use Rose's internal voice, too - it's such a gorgeous way of writing and you do it so, so well.

(Btw, we should totally swap beautiful blonde boys at some point. Mine are all gay, and yours is at least more interested (or seems to be) in women than mine are :P)

You've left this on such a cliffhanger, too - I'm so glad this swap is for five chapters, because that last line is so great (like, seriously, it could have come out of a conversation with me and my sisters, it's perfect), and there's the whole hook with the bet between Rose and her friends, and Rose and Scorpius' unspoken one. It's so, so good, and so tantalising a point to leave it on.

Imma see you in the next chapter ;)

Aph xx

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Review #59, by Aphorideto the end of time: New Friends

11th March 2015:
Hey there - stopping by from the BvB Review Battle! :)

I haven't actually read Lavender/Parvati before, or much femmeslash really, so I'm so excited to see you've written it! I love exploring new pairings - chances are, most of them work so well, you know? ;)

I love how you've started from the very beginning of their relationships, and how it's from Parvati's point of view rather than Lavender's. They're both really underwritten characters, imo, but I've seen Lavender written more than Parvati so I love that you chose her pov to write from. Plus, starting from the very beginning... it really means we can see them develop so much, over their time at Hogwarts, and see their friendship change. It makes so much sense, too, since friendships are influenced by how they were before, you know, when things happen.

This whole scene is so sweet - from Parvati's conversation with Padma at the start, where she's nervous about the sorting and what will happen if they're in different houses, to the end where she and Lavender decide to be friends. They really seem like they're young, too, which is so hard to do, so kudos to you for that ;) I love how you discussed Padma and Parvati's separation - for twins who are so close, it must be so strange to suddenly be apart - and then how she sort of finds Lavender in that. Also, I liked how they became friends simply - there wasn't any troll incident, like with the trio, they just got on and stayed friends, you know? It's so realistic, that you find friends that way rather than through anything complicated.

Your writing in this is so good, too - it's so evocative, with Parvati's nerves and then almost relief and settling down when she becomes friends with Lavender really coming through so well. I loved your description, too - and the way you made such a clear distinction between Padma and Parvati's personalities, with their actions during the Sorting Hat song and everything. The little mention of Ron's line from canon was so great, too! :)

This is a really great start so far, and I'd love to see where you're going to go with these two, and how their friendship is going to develop - and when, for each of them, they're going to realise things have changed ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey!

I never even considered this pairing until I got the banner and figured out a plot, but now I can't imagine doing any other pairing with this!

Yeah, both Lavender and Parvati are pretty underwritten and I feel like Parvati is a pretty underappreciated character as well. We don't know much about her besides her friendship with Lavender, her sister, and that she like Divination so I was really excited to write her. And starting from the beginning seemed like the best way to really show how their relationship evolves.

I actually had the hardest time figuring out how their first interaction should go, everything else was really easy and fun to write. It all clciked when I realized that Lavender would be that 11-year-old that just walks up to people and says, "We're friends now."

Every time I read this review, I can't help but smile, it's so wonderful and really made my day when I got it! Thank you so so much for leaving it, it really mean a lot to me!


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Review #60, by AphorideWake up, Rose.: Wake up.

9th March 2015:
Hey there, Joey! :) Stopping by for our review swap - sorry this is so late, I've been swamped by uni stuff and arranging things (younger sisters are useless, I tell you! :P), but I'm here now! :D

You know, it's weird, with all the popularity of Next Gen, I don't actually read that much of it (then again, that might not be weird considering this is me, but who knows? :P), especially not much Scorose. But, that being said, considering how much of your stuff I read that I like, it's pretty much given that I'll like this too :)

I love the way you've characterised Rose and Scorpius so far - how she's the only one he picks on, for no discernible reason, and how he seems to target her but does also have a human side - like he's fine with other people, popular, and the moment in the corridor when his face softened... all seems pretty indicative so far to a hate-to-love kinda romance, but you've put your own spin on it, as always, which is so great! Plus, you avoid the whole bad boy/good girl thing, and especially with the end scene, it's debatable whether or not they even actually like each other (coz Albus is a very suspicious kid :P Very suspicious indeed! - and surprisingly unsubtle for a Slytherin, haha).

I'm so suspicious about what Albus did - the words you use, the description of their feelings and actions, seems to suggest that potentially there was more than just alcohol involved - either that or Rose is just a real lightweight :P I'm so curious to see where you go with it in the next chapter - what happens when they realise what went on the night before, how they feel about it and so on... I can't imagine Rose is going to be overjoyed/excited or anything, but I'll wait and see :)

I love as well how Rose isn't just going to let him walk all over her and doesn't, from the very beginning - it's such a great reaction from her, so like Ron actually :P - and it's one of those things you don't necessarily always see: the bullied standing up for themselves on their own, without almost bullying themselves, you know. Again, I really wanna see how she deals with Scorpius if he continues to bully her, and what happens if it goes on.

Poor Rose, she's got a lot on her plate - even without the cousins constantly trying to set her up with every other bloke :P

You write background characters so well, too - I loved the little mentions of James and Fred, how cheeky they are and so much like their namesakes, and Albus with his sly smiles and Quidditch obsession, and Dom with her boy obsession. They all feel so real - but then all of your characters do, all the time, so it's no surprise there ;)

The only thing I would say is that you have a tendency to repeat 'I' a lot at the beginning of sentences and it's a bit repetitive, to me. Maybe you could try rephrasing a couple of things so keep it less? The rule I always try to follow (emphasis on 'try', haha) is only use the same beginning word once in a paragraph, unless it's for effect ;) But then, I'm pretty picky about this things, so feel free to ignore! ;)

Anyway, I love this - it's a great beginning so far, and it's a lovely twist on a Next Gen Hogwarts story, and I'm so excited to see where it goes! Hopefully it won't take me so long to get to the next four reviews :P

Aph xx

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Review #61, by AphoridePainful Bliss: Love

6th March 2015:
Hi there - dropping for our swap! :) I just had to come back to this story after the first chapter - the hook in it was so so good, I couldn't resist ;)

I love how you start this by making us think that their relationship is still beautiful and so happy - well, almost :P - and then turn it all around with them really not being happy, and neither of them really quite working to fix them problem, or even try. It's a really sad thing to find, you know, but there's somethig so real and so sad about both their situations that it's hard not to sympathise with both of them. They both do things wrong and so on, but this really is a beautiful example of miscommunication, and lack of communication in total :(

I love their characters, too - both Draco and Astoria, and I loved in this chapter how you off-set their unhappiness with Blaise and Isabella, and how wonderfully happy they were together and things in their lives were going so well. It really highlights just how broken Draco and Astoria are as a couple. I feel so sorry for Astoria - she really just seems so lost, in life and in her marriage and sort of in herself too - and for Draco, who just doesn't know what to do. They both just seem, to me, like they have no idea what to do, or in a way why they're still there. Poor guys - I want to hug them both! :(

I loved the first scene, too - the glimpse of them when they were happier, at least, than they are now, and how it wakes Draco up and he almost thinks it's real. The idea of Astoria jumping out into the water is so beautiful, too - your description of it was gorgeous - and something about it felt so poignant and solemn, in a way, as though he was promising something or she was testing him.

Your writing in this is still so gorgeous. Your descriptions are so, so lovely, and I love how you use dialogue in this to just exacerbate the problems and show them - it's like whenever they speak it's an argument, you know, they can't have a conversation normally. It's incredibly sad, but a really clever way to portray their relationship. I especially loved the image of the rose petals falling and Draco shaking them... again, there was so much meaning behind it, and it felt so important, like he's destroying something so valuable to her and he doesn't even know.

Gah, this is such a devastatingly sad story! The worst part of it all is that however unhappy they are together, we know they can be happy and that they were, but who knows now? I hope they become happier, poor people - they definitely both deserve it! :(

This is such a beautiful story, though - Imma have to add this to my favourites to keep an eye on it ;)

Thank you so so much for the swap - I'm so glad I got a chance to return to this story! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for coming by again. :D

I wanted a shift. Marriage is hard (so I hear) and sometimes it's not all good times. Even if you've been together since you were sixteen and married for forty years or whatever. Every marriage has their ups and downs, whether it's something big or small. They're going through that early on. But I also wanted to show there were good times. It didn't just change over night. If you read on you'll understand what happened.

They don't know what to do. Here's Blaise and Isabella, married a little less than Draco and Astoria, moving on to that next chapter in their lives. They're going to start a family while Draco and Astoria can barely be around each other. I think it obviously hurts Draco more. He tries hard to keep up appearances while Astoria has just given up completely but she hasn't hit rock bottom. I can assure you that. Not yet.

They don't know how to have a conversation. Astoria doesn't want to and Draco just doesn't understand. He's walking on thin ice and there are moments where he snaps too but then for the most part he doesn't want to anger her. He just wants his wife. The version he originally fell for and married.

Thank you for the wonderful review. I'm glad you liked the descriptions and my story. :D

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Review #62, by AphorideCold Blood: A Mistake

6th March 2015:
Hey there, Erin! Stopping by from BvB, since you said someone who was already reading it should drop by ;) I know I'm not as far on as you'd probably like (which I totally understand!) but hopefully I can catch up soon! :)

So, I love this story and I really shouldn't stay away so long - though the one of advantage this story has is that I always remember it so well! I'm so excited to see where this goes on from here... there are so many hints in this chapter, but nothing really solid and concrete - which is just how a good mystery should be ;)

I love how you keep slipping in the little glimpses of the murderer and their mind. They're always so fascinating and so creepy - we're not sure exactly what drives them, completely, and that just makes them almost unstable, you know? Makes it all the more likely they're going to do something worse (if that's even possible, haha). Also, it can be difficult at times to use two different pov styles, and you do it so well in this too :)

As before, I love the way you write both Harry and Ron - they're such great characters in this, and you do them both so well (which is amazing, tbh, because they're such major character) - as well as Pamela and all of the others. It's the little things which stick out - how Ron seems to be slightly afraid of Hermione haha, the way they both still find the hex on Marietta so funny even years later, how they're both embarassed when caught hugging :P (Plus, it was such a funny image! :D)

I feel so sorry for the Aurors too, with nothing to go on in the case and no real leads... so frustrating! :( Still, it's nice to see it's not always easy as pie for them ;)

The article at the beginning was brilliant - I loved that you included it, as it really gave a third dimension to this story - the population entire and how they're reacting to the murders and what's going on. Article writing is really hard, so you did so well with it, and I love how Robards, like the others, is so tired by trying to find something for the case. Poor guy :( At least he wasn't interviewed by Skeeter! :P No, seriously, it was a great article and I loved that you included it! :)

As always your writing is so good in this - the little details realy make this come alive, with the mention of the grass being flattened where the boulder was, Harry's hand trembling, all that kind of stuff... it's really so so good! :)

And thank you so much for the shoutout! Totally undeserved, but thank you anyway - I'm just so glad you enjoy things I write, it means so much! *hug* :)

Aph xx

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Review #63, by Aphorideshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

5th March 2015:
Hey there - sorry for the long delay! Class finished late and then I had to make dinner and so on... but I'm here now! :)

I loved this. Dean/Luna isn't a pairing I read very often - and I don't read either of them as characters in things very often either - but they're so so sweet, and the way you presented them in this made me ship them, you know? It just created the ship and portrayed it so beautifully, and so realistically, and there was so much emotion in it too... this really is a beautiful piece of writing, and considering this and the earth and the sky., I really don't know why I haven't read more of your stuff earlier.

I love how you portrayed Luna especially. She's such a tricky character to write, you know - with the whole airy nature and the random, insightful and often awkward comments she can make - and you've written her so perfectly in this. Like, it's just her and I really have no idea how you've done it :P I especially loved where you talked about her eyes always being so dreamy, how she always looked as though she was imagining adventures and how much she wanted to go and do those things, and so on, and then how when she came back, after marrying Rolf, it had changed to certainty. It's such beautiful description, and such a clever, lovely way to capture Luna's personality, too.

(Even if, you know, the whole Luna-and-Rolf thing is pretty heartbreaking for Dean :()

Dean was so great, too. It's strange, but I always kinda thought of Dean as a bit of a romantic, haha, so I loved how you made him like that in this - there's something so sweet about the way he's happy just to get what he gets, even though he still loves her and he still wants more, and how much he wants her to stay and finds her in the strangest of places (because, you know, falling in love in the basement of Malfoy Manor is pretty weird :P). It's such a bittersweet story, even if you can't dislike either of the characters for it - they want to be happy, and that's not a bad thing to want - but still, at the end, it leaves you feeling kinda... breathless, I guess, in a way, if that even makes sense (really, I have no idea :P).

Your writing, as usual, is gorgeous. Your description is amazing, and there were so many lines in here which were so quotable and so beautiful - there's this meaning behind the words in this, and so much emotion in them, that it's really feels so personal, almost private, you know? It's a real gift, that! The style of it was so great, too - I loved the four paragraphs, with the stages of their relationship and how they came round in a circle just as their relationship did: starting and ending with him being in love with her and her not with him. It's a sad thing, but the analogy is gorgeous. The way you used italics for the dialogue was really cool, too - I haven't seen that used much before, so I really liked it.

This is a gorgeous, gorgeous piece, and I think in future, I'm going to have to look out for new things you post, otherwise I suspect I'm going to end up missing out on things ;)

Aph xx

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Review #64, by AphorideTicking Away Seconds: Bittersweet Kisses

3rd March 2015:
Hey there! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

Okay, so I'm going to admit first off that I'm not a big fan of Snape/Lily unless it's unrequited, so I was a bit nervous when I saw the pairing listed on this - but, I loved the way you portrayed Snape's feelings and the way you dealt with the unrequited nature of them. It really felt like a snapshot out of canon, you know - a moment we never got to see in it :)

I love how you wrote both Lily and Snape - Lily especially. I loved how even though he was begging, she didn't back down on her opinions and how she felt about it, and she didn't desert her morals simply because he was her friend. She was so strong, and it was so great to see! I like as well how Snape was so surprisingly brave about his confession and about telling her truth about his feelings - to me, it's reminiscent of when he finds Dumbledore to ask him to protect Lily, and when he protects Harry and so on - it brings to mind the bravery he shows later. I loved how their opinions were so obviously different, and how neither one was necessarily right or wrong, but they just both were - it's a very human characterisation of them you've got and I love it.

Your writing in this is so lovely in this. Your description at the beginning with the room and Lily walking around was so beautiful - it really brought the whole thing to life so, so well. You tend to repeat words at times, so it might be something to watch out for, but really, it's so lovely. You have a great style and a great flow and pace to your writing :)

One small thing: Snape's dialogue where he says 'Lily. I know you're in the here', should start on the line below the paragraph, rather than be included in it ;)

This is a really lovely piece - so bittersweet and so almost sad, even though I don't ship them, for the lack of realisation from Lily and for Snape knowing it's never going to happen (though the whole magically-freezing her thing was a bit creepy, not gonna lie :P). Good luck in the challenge! :)

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aphoride!

Thanks for swapping with me. :)

I've been getting a lot of nerves about the Snape/Lily ship and I want to shout that it's not really a ship cause they don't get together, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. :) I'm so glad that it came across as a little snapshot that we've never had a chance to see. That's exactly what I was going for. I just wanted to give a bit of meat to their story.

I'm elated to hear that you thought my characterization was good. I've never written either Snape or Lily, so I was really nervous about doing them justice. Lily to me seems to be absolutely, uncompromisingly moral, so I wanted to portray that, but I also didn't want it to seem like she didn't still love/care for Snape, hence the internal conflict.

As for Snape, he's one of those characters that people either love or hate, but there's not doubt that he's incredibly complex. I don't question whether he loves Lily, but I do question his methods. I thought the freezing her to kiss her kind of fit with the creepy, possessive part of his nature. I also find him brave in the HP books, so I wanted to show that there is that braveness in him as a least in certain moments.

Writing in first person was a very new experience for me, so I'm glad that you thought it went well. On re-read I will take a hard look at the repetition of words. I try not to repeat, but sometimes I get so caught up in what I'm writing that I forget to slow down and analyze it.

Thanks for catching that line. I will most certainly fix it.

Thank you again for reviewing and for leaving me such kind comments!


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Review #65, by Aphoride12 Hours: 12 Hours [or] There Are People Who Would Cause You Harm And Those Who Seek Your Undoing, But Before You Condemn Those Pitiful Souls, Be Sure Of What They're Pursuing

25th February 2015:
Hey Joey! :D So I'm finally here for our swap - sorry it took me so long!

Okay, so because I've already read this, you've probably heard a lot of this before, but I'm going to make you sit through it again anyway because I'm like that :P So I do hope you're sitting comfortably ;) (Major, major kudos to you if you get the reference... :D)

You know how much I love your characters. They're always, always so amazing and so real and so thoughtful, you know - as though they could almost step up and off the page and just walk down a street and no one would look twice. It's such an art, characterisation, and you really do have it down to a tee. It's probably the strongest thing about your writing, and, for me, the most compelling.

I love all of your characters in this, and how different they all are - how they all have their little individual quirks which set them apart - like Destiny having that amazing reaction to the situation, like desperation turning into bravery, and Albus being so pedantic over timing, and Scorpius always being paranoid that people are out to get him :P (Though it's not paranoia if they really are, so the poor guy probably has a reason for it, unfortunately... :P) It's little things like that which most people miss in their characters, but which make them feel so alive.

Also, your dialogue is always so, so good. It feels really natural you know? It's one of those things which makes me so jealous because I hate dialogue with a passion - I'm so bad at it! - but you, like, this is a gift or something, I swear! :P Your characters always sound the right age, the right generation and everything... it's so good! :)

I have to mention that I love the little jokes in this - Huxley and Ginsberg. (Also, I love Allen Ginsberg. And the film they made of him with Daniel Radcliffe. It's so good!) :P

The plot in this was so good - it was almost better with no explanation for Pansy's motives than if there had been a motive, you know, it makes it that much more mysterious and creepy and makes her seem so much more deranged. I loved how it seemed almost random, and the use of the trick to get them there - such a tried and true method, but I loved how Pansy and her gang faked an entire literary association to do it, and how the gang went because they wanted to support their friend. It's so sad that was the result of such a nice gesture... :(

I loved the use of non-linear timeline in this, too. You do it so so well, and really, I have no idea how to do it at all so I'm so amazed by anyone who can manage it at all :P In this it works so beautifully - it heightens everything in it: the horror element, the action element, the suspense in the way we don't quite know what's happened, what's really going on until the end of it, and it's just such a cool idea.

So yeah, basically, as you know, I love this story. It's such a great idea, and such a great story, and your writing is so so good. The genre is perfectly done in this, and your characterisation is as amazing as always :)

So glad we swapped (but then, you know, I always am with you ;D)! :)

Aph xx

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Review #66, by AphorideLegacy: Legacy

20th February 2015:
Hey Sian! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

So I think you know that I'm a huge History nerd - like, seriously, it's not even funny - so I just had to drop by on this. Also, the idea of it is amazing - I love the idea of Helga, last of the four, having to choose an heir/ess to what really is sort of their child, you know, and something which means so much to them. I'm so glad True Author requested it; it's such a lovely, bittersweet missing moment.

I love the way you wrote Helga, too. I've read quite a few Helga's recently - there were none for ages and then this is the third one recently, weirdly enough... - but I love her here. I love how she's so genuinely concerned with the legacy and how important it is to her, almost as much as testament to her friends' memory and the memory of the four of them together as it is for the school. It's so sad to think that she had to make the decision on her own, at the end, but at the same time it's right that it was her alone, and not her husband with her or the teachers in harmony. There's something lovely about the idea of her passing it on to the next best person; you can imagine that tradition continuing down through the ages with the Headmasters and Headmistresses doing the same.

I loved the addition of her husband and the little mentions of the other founders, what had happened to them, and the other professors too. They were all such good characters, and I loved how with the founders, what we know of them came through Helga's memories and regrets that Salazar was gone, and Godric had died suddenly, and Rowena had essentially faded after Helena ran. There's so much tragedy in here, but it's so beautiful, in a way, because your writing really just shows the emotions of so so well.

I loved as well the mention of the anti-muggle bias, even then, and how Helga hadn't had the heart to throw Starr out of the school, but Aeres disciplined him for being offensive - also how that was an important moment for Helga and when she made her mind up. I like the idea that the Head is supposed to sort of bridge those divides, and not be biased and so on which it gives. Also, Aeres is a pretty cool character, too :P That boy needed a good talking to, haha!

The detail in here is amazing - I love the little nods to customs and norms of the era, like with Easter/Eostre difference, the mention of the strange illness, and all the references to Death, visible and real, being there, watching her and just waiting. It's a pretty creepy image, but also so beautifully written. I loved as well, though it was so sad, how Hogwarts had sort of shrunk after the founders had died/left. It often happens with legacies, and with the changing era, almost to be expected, but it doesn't make it any less sad.

Your writing, as usual, was amazing. Your description is always gorgeous, the whole thing flows so beautifully, there is absolutely nothing about this I would change. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot and I love it! I'm almost jealous it's dedicated to Ashwini :P

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

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Review #67, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: Back to Hogwarts

20th February 2015:
Hey Molly! :) So glad to be back with this story again! :)

I'm going to be honest with you, I got to the scene in the Potions classroom and I was sitting here like 'no no no, what is she doing, how can she... no no, they love each other, no!' I was so scared you were going to break them up or make them have some huge argument or something - and then everything was happy again at the end, which is good :P

I love the way you brought back Scorp's friends in this - I really liked Dorinda from the first one, she's amazing :P And I love that things have changed for Jupiter... in love with a muggle girl, poor him. That's not going to go down well with his parents :/

Scorp's pov in this was so good, too - I loved how he was so glad to be leaving the Potter's house and how he still wants things to be okay between his family about his relationship with Albus, and how he's far less bothered about grades than Albus is. People are very different, even when they're in relationships and I love that you emphasised the differences between them in this.

And I really can't quite believe that Albus and Dorinda are studying on the train :P Nerd alert, lol!

I'm so so curious about where this is going to go now they're back at Hogwarts... I think that guy from before is going to show up and be a jerk, unfortunately, but I really hope they don't split up or anything! :( Still, can't wait to see what the next chapter holds! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for another great review! Albus and Scorpius will have several ups and downs in their relationship before this fic is over, I can tell you that much... ;-)

You'll see more of both Jupiter's Muggle girl and of Colin everntually! :-)

I'm glad you like the story so far!


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Review #68, by AphorideTo Fear A Full Moon: Chapter 1

20th February 2015:
Hey there, stopping by for our review swap! :)

So I do like a good werewolf story, and I just had to stop by here!

I love the way you've characterised Pansy, and the fact that you've used her at all - she's one of those characters who I think often gets overlooked for fanfiction because she's not a nice character in the books, and so people don't tend to want to write about her, you know? So I'm so glad you picked her. Also, you wrote her so well - I loved how at the beginning you showed her prejudice against werewolves, a prejudice she'd grown up with and how determined she was to believe it, and then that she changes, not because of love, but because of what happens to her. I loved the self-involvement in the gesture to help werewolves and fight for their rights, because they're hers to, but I also loved how she changed that part of her beliefs as well. It really brings to mind Draco's transformation into less of a bully in HBP and DH, you know? It's so nice to see.

I loved as well how she left England. I think it's completely plausible that a lot of the younger - and some of the older ones, too - purebloods would have left the country after the war, even if only for a while. Dealing with the backlash would have been something a lot of them would have wanted to avoid. I really like as well how it was jealousy and almost a distrust of John which made her go to the address and then get attacked, and how devastated John was to have attacked her. It's one of those horrible situations, where no one is really the bad guy, and everyone is the victim, you know? Also, I actually liked how John left her at the end of it - the kind of guilt he'd have been carrying over that would, I think, have made a relationship almost impossible between them. It's pretty sad to think about.

Your writing in this was so good, too. I love your use of description and first person style, as though Pansy was talking to the reader - it was lovely, with a great flow. The only thing I would suggest is maybe try to have less repetition in sentences - at the beginning and in the middle both. Stylistic repetition can work really well, but too much can just damage the flow ;) It's a small thing, though, and pretty easy to fix, I just thought I should mention it! ;)

This is a really, really great one-shot. Everything about it was so good, and I really love Pansy in it - it's such a brilliant idea! Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aphoride,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a wonderfully detailed review. I actually didn't pick Pansy, she was given to me as part of the challenge. That being said one of my favorite things to write is a complex evil villain. I feel that people are rarely just good or just bad, so writing them that way is not realistic. That's why I went this direction with Pansy. I wanted her to be human, not just this one-sided awful person.

I'm glad you liked her trip to California. To me it seems like children from affluent families tend to study abroad or take long trips to foreign countries, so I thought it would be fitting for Pansy to visit the US. I toyed with the idea of using another European country, but I thought post-war that she might want a fresh start.

Thank you for your note on repetition. I will keep it in mind as I write other stories and if I go back to edit this one. I know exactly what you mean about it ruining the flow when it gets too repetitive.

Thank you for the swap and for taking the time to write this all out.


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Review #69, by AphorideHurricane Luna: He Loses on an Island

17th February 2015:
Hey there - dropping by from the BvB! :)

I just couldn't resist coming back to this story - there's something so wonderfully sweet and romantic about this story, like a proper, good rom-com, you know? So, so lovely!

So you already know that I'm so so disappointed with you for breaking them up, and so I have to admit that I was kinda disappointed they didn't get back together in this chapter... but, at the same time, it's realistic, you know? No one wants to go straight back to someone who yelled at them like that... poor Luna :(

I actually still feel kinda sorry for Rolf, I have to admit, because I don't think he meant to be so rude or angry, and he's regretting it so much... I loved the little mentions about how he's always thinking of her, and how he can't help it, and how his discoveries in particular make him think of her, and how he'd gone back to the cave with the glowing worms on the autumn equinox to observe them wanting her to be there too. You write his loss of her so, so well, without outright saying it, and I love it!

I loved as well how we learned more about his work - with the animal specimens in jars, the mentions of the book and publishers and so on, how his row of assistants were all useless (or, you know, not Luna :P), and how he'd gone on more expeditions to learn more and was looking at being pretty successful with the book. It really makes this story come to life; grounds it in reality, you know :)

You write this so, so well, too - I love all the little details in this, with the little things about Paris and the names of various authors and so on, like Gustav Eiffel. It's so, so good - so in depth, and I love it.

I can't believe Luna's gone missing! It's so sad - such a cliffhanger to end this on! - though I love that Harry wrote to Rolf when they couldn't find her, thinking he might know something, and how determined Rolf is to find her. I'm totally sure he will, though whether or not he'll actually tell her he's in love with her remains to be seen... it would be nice if he did - so cute! - but who knows?

Gah, cliffhanger! Imma have to come back soon ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph,

Ugh - sorry they didn't get back together :( Rolf seems to need to work through a few things first.

I'm really, really glad that you feel sorry for Rolf. Haha - not that he doesn't deserve to feel miserable and helpless because he certainly does, but I was worried that readers would find it hard to sympathize with him because - IT'S LUNA and everyone LOVES Luna.

I'm breathing a HUGE sigh of relief that you find the mentions of Paris, the paintings and the authors good. I did my research on this one (I've actually been to Paris a few times, but I still needed a bit of research).

Eeep - so they're not back together AND there's a little plot twist with her missing.

I can't wait to find out what you think of the next chapter.

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth

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Review #70, by Aphoride(500) Days of August: Many Things

14th February 2015:
Hey there, Joey! :) So excited to swap with you again - I always love swapping with you!

I had to drop by this story - it's got less love than the other one, though they both looked so exciting, and you know how much of a sucker for a good tragic romance I am :)

I love the way you set this up, like it's a third party telling the reader the story directly - it's such a cool idea, and you use it so well. It works so beautifully in this story, too! I love the whole thing about how Fred wanted to fall in love and had no one to fall for, too, and then how you start it with the break up, 290 days in. I've never read 500 days of summer, tbh, so I don't know if this is something you took from there, but I love how you're separating it into little sections with 'Day x' and so on - it makes the non-linear timeline so much easier to follow! ;)

I love Fred's character, too - how desperate he is to fall in love, and how determined he is that it could happen. It's almost heartbreaking, it really is, because you know it's not going to, and you know it's going to really upset him. But still, I love how it's a sweet thing, but it's also a flaw - so great! :) Also, August... I love how he's so upfront about how he doesn't want anything serious, and how he seems almost concerned about making sure Fred knows that for sure. He's not a bad guy, and that's part of what I love about them both - they just... miscommunicate. Lines get crossed, and then people get hurt. It's just one of those things, but so unfortunate.

Your writing in this is so, so good. I love the way you write the sections, and your description is so lovely - the mentions of the sunset and all. Your dialogue is gorgeous, too, it's so strong and so true to life, you know, and the whole thing is just so evocative and emotive, especially with the simple style.

I love the whole ending, too, with August married to someone else, having found the right guy and believing in true love, and Fred being alone and happier. It wasn't the expected ending, but I love it - it works so well for them! :)

All your details in this were amazing, as well - I loved the Quiberon Quafflepunchers mention and everything like that ;)

So yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling... the long and short of it is that I love this story and I'm so glad we swapped so I got a chance to read it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #71, by AphorideWaiting on You: Waiting on You

14th February 2015:
Hi Erica - happy Valentine's Day! :) Found time to squeeze you in... :P Hope your boyfriend appreciates the dinner you're making for him ;)

Okay, so I had to stop by on this one - I thought it might be nicer than others, considering this one had a few less reviews ;)

I love the way you've characterised Albus and Scorpius in this - they're so cute and so sweet - with Scorpius being more nervous about coming out than Albus is - it makes so much sense considering Scorpius' family haven't exactly been known for being open-minded in the past, with the pureblood supremacy and all ;) Also, I love how Albus understands that Scorpius might be scared and doesn't blame him for it or want to push him into making that kind of decision. They're so great! :)

Also, I love how you dealt with the subject matter - coming out can be incredibly difficult for people, and I love how you wrote that into it so sensitively. It was beautiful! :) The ending was so perfect, with the two of them doing it together!

Your writng was gorgeous, too! I'm always so impressed by people who do these kinds of micro-stories in 500 words and things, because they're always so amazing, and this was no exception. It's so great and so simply beautiful, with the description of feelings and so on. So, so lovely! :)

I loved this one-shot - sorry if this review is a little short, but I don't really know what else to say other than I love this over and over again - it's so great! :)

Aph xx

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Review #72, by AphorideHer Favorite Holiday: Her Favorite Holiday

14th February 2015:
Hi Selene! :) Happy Valentine's Day - hope you're having a great day whatever you're doing for it! ;)

So I'm a huge Molly/Arthur fan - I mean, they're just so perfect together! Who doesn't love them, seriously? - so I had to stop by here ;)

I just want to say first that I'm not sure how I feel about the ending and that twist... I mean, from the some of the comments Arthur made and other characters made throughout it I wondered, of course, but I wasn't sure and, well, it's so sad... poor Arthur. Alone for the first time after fifty-three years or something on Valentine's Day... :( How could you do that to him? So cruel of you...

That being said, I did love the way you wrote it. The little glimpses of the flashbacks, of the first time he asked Molly out, their first date, his nervous, fumbling proposal (I love that he skidded into her and forgot to give her the ring for so long - it's just so perfectly in character! :P)... all of it was so, so good. Especially the moment where he runs into Victoire and Teddy in Diagon Alley, and how happy he is to see them, despite the undoubted pain the day is causing him, you know.

Your characterisation of Arthur is amazing. I'm terrified to write Weasleys, you know, because I don't think there's anyway I could get them right (I'm just not funny. Not funny at all.), but you really get him perfectly in this - he's exactly as he is in canon, down to the excitement about plugs :P

Your writing is gorgeous, too. I love your description - it's so beautiful, with the roses, and the Three Broomsticks, and the mention of the ring as a 'glimmer of gold' - it's just so, so lovely. This is a really, really sweet, heart-wrenching one-shot, and I think, in a way, the ending is so right for it. There would have been too much happiness otherwise :P

So yeah, I loved this - it's so gorgeous! :)

Aph xx

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Review #73, by AphorideA Magical Christmas.: A Magical Christmas.

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day - hope you're having a great day, whatever your relationship status ;)

So I have to confess that I never read the Winter Wonderland entries during the competition - Christmas was a surprisingly busy time of year this year! - so I just had to stop by here! :)

I love this you know - it's amazing! I love how it highlights the difference a holiday like Christmas can make, both in terms of making people feel both better and worse. Like how Angie's normal Christmas makes her feel like something's wrong, so left out, and then Christmas at Hogwarts she feels a little left out, but the holiday gets better for her and she enjoys it more, gets a glimpse of what perhaps a more normal Christmas is for other people. It's a strangely bittersweet message, even if it has a happy ending - because you can't help but think of all the people who don't experience that 'normal' kind of Christmas.

I love Angie's character - she's so curious about things, and so almost nervous about things, too - and the mentions of her family. It's such a sad situation for kids to be in, but I love how you don't talk about it in a way to make you feel sorry for her - it's simply a fact for her, and I like that. It makes it seem more real. The surrounding characters were so great, too - Jordan Shacklebolt and Slughorn and even the Slytherin boy who sort of mocks her for not knowing things. It just really filled out the whole story. Oh, and Professor Blackthorn! Loved her! :)

The ending of this was so great, with everyone getting involved and the snowball fight and the kids staying at Hogwarts being friendly with each other - it was so sweet! :)

Your writing in this was so good, too! I think I've read some of your older stuff before, and it's so, so great! Your description especially was lovely - I loved your descriptions of Hogwarts at Christmas time and London under snow - they're so gorgeous and really evocative. Like, they really bring the scene to life and I love that.

This is a fabulous one-shot. I'm so disappointed I didn't read it before, but so glad I read it now! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review.

And I hope you are having a great day. To be honest, Valentine's day doesn't really mean much to me. I've been spending the day correcting exams.

Yeah, Angie is a pretty matter-of-fact kind of kid. She's had a tough time and she does get a bit down about it some times, as can be seen here, but on the whole, she's pretty much accepted her life as normal and deals pretty well with it.

Glad you like Professor Blackburn. She only plays a small part in this story, but she is a significant character in my next gen. series and I have a one-shot about her own Hogwarts days, "No Room at the Inn". As you could probably figure out from this, she has her own problems and is one of my favourite characters from my next gen. series.

Jordan Shacklebolt appears as a minor character in that too, so I do know these characters.

Really glad you liked the story. Thanks again for the review.

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Review #74, by AphorideThrough the Half-Moon Spectacles: Preparing for What is to Come

14th February 2015:
Hi there! :) Happy Valentine's Day - Singles Appreciation Day, whichever is more applicable for you ;) Either way, I hope you're enjoying yourself! :)

Okay, so I'm actually writing Albus Dumbledore myself at the moment, and I love reading portrayals of him, so I just had to stop by this! :)

You know, I've not actually read anything about him as a portrait before, and I think I've only read a couple of stories involving portraits before - though tbh, I'm really not sure - so I love the way you've gone with this. A story about portraits is so original and I love it! :) I love as well all the details about the potraits you've gone into in this - how they can talk to each other mentally, like a telepathy thing, without being next to each other, how feelings and knowledge of their I guess former selves are dulled and dimmer than they were in real life, but how they still remember their past lives. It's so fascinating to see the world you've developed for them in this! :)

Your portrayal of him is so lovely, too - I love the mention of the details of how well he knows Snape and mentions of the students and the way he can feel the castle's energy, like he's become part of it - a sort of fitting tribute to the longest-serving headmaster, especially considering he was buried on Hogwarts grounds. It's so true to his portrayal in canon, and I love it so much! :)

Your writing is so lovely, too - your description is great and really builds up this sense of patience, as though he's got all the time in the world to see things through and no sense of time. It's so great - so evocative of the mood. I love it! :)

This is a great story - it's so lovely! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi! Happy Belated Valentines day! I apologize for responding to you so late! I still appreciate that you took the time to read and review this though! ♥

And yes, I am single, so props to all the singles out there! *does cheer dance.*

Oh really? Cool, cool! I'm glad this caught your attention. :) Well, I wish you luck, though I'm sure you'll do marvelous anyway! :D

I think portrait stories are rare in its own. I don't think I've read a story that solely focuses through a portraits pov either.

I'm happy that you like the way I gone with this, because honestly, I was just pulling at what I think or came up with head canons (before that word came out haha -) of how a portrait works.

Haha! Thank you! I feared writing Dumbledore that whole time writing it. Him and Snape. I'm also glad that you sensed the patience and the suspense I was building. A reviewer - an anonymous one too - didn't seem to grasp that and attacked me on it. :( Again, though, I'm happy you caught on what I was aiming for. ^_^

Thank you! I'm really happy you enjoyed this! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! ♥ ♥

- Asphodel

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Review #75, by AphorideFanged Revolution: Chapter the Second

14th February 2015:
Hey there! :) Happy Valentine's Day, Olivia! Hope you're having a great day, whatever you're doing! ;)

I had to come back to this when you requested - totally in the mood for some vampires this evening ;)

I love how you've carried this on from the previous chapter, how we got a glimpse into the Ministry and their actions and why they did what they did - the whole Malfoy-and-Osbert relationship thing is incredibly creepy and manipulative and I kinda love it :P - and how Ignatius reacted to the news of the results of his actions. I kinda feel a bit sorry for him, you know - how was he supposed to know the girl in question was the Minister's daughter? Poor guy...

I like, though, how you're developing him as a character. How, despite being a normally 'evil' creature, he's moral enough to feel obligated to stay and sort things out after he caused it all by killing the girl. It's an incredibly brave and righteous thing to do - makes me think if he went to Hogwarts he was a Gryffindor... it's a neat turn-around of the stereotypical vampire presentation. I love as well the other vampire, too, how he's gonna go along and help Ignatius in his efforts.

As I said before, I love the whole relationship thing between Malfoy and Osbert, how they work together, but not quite together - with Osbert being official minister, but Malfoy sort of unofficial minister behind the scenes. It's an incredibly corrupt ministry and political regime, but I love it - it really reminds me of the ministry in canon and how corrupt that was.

Your writing in this, as before, is really good! I love the description you put into it, and the dialogue is so good, too - so real and so true, it's so great! :)

This is such a good story and I'm enjoying it so much! :)

Aph xx

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