Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
  
475 Reviews Found

Review #26, by AphorideLady Mondegreen: Conversations with a Portrait

6th May 2015:
Hi there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I actually haven't read any portrait-related stories before, tbh, so I when I realised that was what this was about I was so excited because it's a first, so it's so cool and interesting to see how it works, you know? :)

I haven't read your other universe, but this stands so well on its own as its own little story, and both Lia and Lady M are such strong characters, with such clear personalities and traits that it's so good to see and to read. I love how Lia is so annoyed by James, and how Lady M is so curious to know what's going on, since she never gets visitors, and how they sort of become friends by the end of it, with Lady M kinda helping Lia out with her James Potter problem.

I've got to say, I always love when stories have a friendship-related theme to them - there aren't enough stories like that, imo, where those kinds of relationships are the forefront - and this was such a lovely example of it.

You used the word you were given so well - mondegreen - I've never heard of it, but it's so cool and the definiton above made it sound so had, but you worked it in so cleverly, with the double-layered use of it, as both Lady M's name and with the instances of it throughout the story. I loved that so much - it was so good. It also gave a beautifully light feel to this, with all the comedic moments - I loved the thing about the misheard comment with the sausages, that was brilliant.

Your writing in this was so good, too - so clean and clear and your description was so lovely. I'd hesitate before describing people of colour as having 'chocolate-coloured skin' just because it's a bit... over-used as well kinda stereotypical, you know? But that's a slightly picky thing, tbh. I loved your dialogue best, though - it's so fluid and easy, so real; the way people really would speak, which is such a gift.

I really enjoyed this - thanks so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!

Thanks for dropping by and reviewing!! I'm so glad that you liked this story, it's definitely one of my favorites!

The portraits have always intrigued me, so it only felt natural to expand on that a bit within my own writing, and I'm glad that others find it interesting too!!

Lia and Lady M are probably on my top five favorite characters to write so far. They've got such fun and distinct personalities that just make me laugh and laugh...hopefully I'll be able to work in another interaction between them in another one of my stories. I think their friendship is definitely a cool one.

You're totally right about the "chocolate-coloured skin" bit. I've got to work on my descriptions in general, and after I wrote this I went and did a load of research on better ways to write physical descriptions, so I'm definitely going to go an edit this a bit at some point.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this Aph! I really appreciate it and I loved reading your story too!!
LL


 Report Review

Review #27, by AphorideAn Inconvenient Repercussion: Chapter 1

4th May 2015:
Hey Kaitlin! :) Dropping by for our review swap! I have to admit, even if you hadn't put this link up I'd probably have stopped by here anyway - Blaise is one of those characters I've always wanted to write but have never got around to, you know: he has all that fascinating potential backstory with his mother and all her husbands, each in a row, which is exactly the kind of thing I love.

So yeah, I'm so excited to read this, basically.

I love the way you approached his mother's marriages and her relationship with him, too. It's a really unique way of looking at it and thinking about it - I've never seen anyone put it in this light and this way, so it's so so interesting because of that. I really like how you didn't kinda hold back on it, on how she treated him and how bad it was and the whole slow burn of his hatred of her and him pulling apart from her, and then the ending (- omigosh, that was so sudden, I really wasn't expecting it at all!). It was so real and so horrible of her, and you really made me pity Blaise for what happens to him and just want to hug him a lot, really, because it's so so cruel, especially from his own mother.

I have to say, quickly, how much I loved you casting the Malfoys in a more positive light, with Narcissa and Lucius both being so shocked and horrified and righteously furious at how Valentina (such an appropriate name, btw!) treated him. People often cast them in an awful light, but I've always thought that the one thing which was always non-negociable about them was how much they loved Draco, and I always love stories where they're not wholly evil, so I loved that you included them like that :)

I loved the way you wrote Blaise, too, going from him being so young and so scared of his mother, almost, but equally as scared of the rest of the world, and so left with no choice but to stay even if he doesn't want to. It's such a sad moment, when he goes back and she's so horrible to him about it, because it's really so far from the normal reaction it's unreal, and he's done nothing to deserve it. For some reason that moment has just stuck in my head.

I thought the ending was so fitting actually, strangely enough - she'd spent so much of her life being cruel to him and mistreating him, even going so far as to threaten and manipulate other people who tried to protect him, and killing off all the men closest to her, so it worked out that her son, who should have been closest to her killed her. I kinda like how you made her so selfish, though, and so uncaring of him - it's something which does happen, and you wrote her so well (if that can be a compliment, haha) in all of her horrible, nasty glory.

Your writing in this was so so good, too - the suspenseful parts were set up so well, and I actually kinda froze after reading Blaise with the skillet the first time - I had to read it twice to make sure it was right, because oh wow did that come out of left field! Not in a bad way, it made sense, I just wasn't expecting it at all! :) Your description was so good too, and I loved the way you used the first person for this - it was so so gorgeous and worked so well!

All in all, this is a really, really great one-shot and I'm glad I read it! :) Thank you so much for the swap!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph!

I'm so sorry that it's taken me forever to respond to this.

I feel the same way about Blaise, so this was the perfect opportunity to play with his story a little bit.

I'm glad that you could feel some pity for Blaise regardless of the outcome of the story. I was hoping to make people feel a bit conflicted since he certainly seems like he's gotten the short end of the stick his whole life, but then makes a horrible mistake at the end.

For whatever reason, I have a hard time viewing most people as wholly evil. Narcissa shows at several points throughout cannon that she has a heart and she cares for the important people in her life. If you are in her inner circle, she will protect you. That's why I figured she and Lucius might be kind to Blaise. Also, even though they do some awful things, you'll notice that they never abuse or neglect Draco themselves, so I thought they might find Valentina's behavior shocking. I'm glad you agreed a bit.

Blaise really does get stuck between a rock in a hard place. He wants desperately to leave his mother, but he's too young to fend for himself.

The ending seemed like a natural conclusion for me. I mean most people can only be pushed so far without snapping and I feel like by the end Blaise had been pushed past his limit. I'm glad that the skillet scene caught you off guard. I wanted it to seem really out of character for him to highlight how far he'd been twisted.

Thank you again for the lovely swap! I'm happy that you enjoyed this one!

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #28, by AphorideThe Story of You: The Story of You

4th May 2015:
Sian! :) Okay, okay, it's been way too long for me to get here - but in my defence, I've read this about five times, and each time wanted to review and tried to, but not been able to say anything other than 'THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. OMIGOSH IT'S AMAZING, I LOVE YOU' which is true, but not very coherent :P

So I'm going to attempt to actually review this - but omigosh, really, reviewing stuff of yours before was always so hard, because I just end up repeating myself so much, but here? I'm going to need a dictionary find synonyms for 'perfect', I think.

And no, I'm really not joking.

Okay, so the beginning of this... just, wow. I loved how the entire thing was sort of told with so many references to books and stories, as though his life was a story itself (which, as an idea, can get very meta very quickly so I'm not going to go there, hehe): with the beginning, and the middle, and the idea of him being cast the hero of his own story, except is he? The bit where you comment that he's not sure he's the hero or the villain, but might be the fool is just so, so sad. Then, of course, it's counteracted by the ending, which is just such a beautiful analogy, really it is, and such a poignant line.

I loved as well how you talked about books being his friends in place of real ones, being a kind of solace and protection for him. It's such a sad, sweet thing to think of, and I loved how you returned to that each time he and Gellert split up :( Also, this: "It always amazed you, the way that shapes could become letters and letters words, and words could spring from the page and into your imagination, where they were given life as you breathed." is such an amazing quote! :)

I've just got to quickly mention the brief reference to Wilde - caught it, loved it! :D It is so so fitting, though, given the context and the time it was written :)

Your Gellert was amazing. Like, seriously. I loved how you described how he captivated Albus from the very beginning, and the Deathly Hallows drew them together - though the moment when Albus was so embarrassed by having them out and Gellert seeing the stories was so, so good :P - and how Aberforth noticed, even though Albus tried to hide it, and sneered at him about it. It's just so, so in character, and so emphatic of the difficulties of the time, too, that even Aberforth wasn't best pleased - and you make it so clear that it goes beyond the normal kind of brotherly teasing.

I loved the little references to how he wanted to sign the letters with love but could never do it, or say it either - it's so cruel to think that he never could, and you can't help but wonder about what if's, you know?

This line, and the whole metaphor/reference was just pure genius: "Neither you nor Gellert were the ones struck, and yet on that day the both of you pricked your fingers, sending another into an eternal sleep and tearing you apart from him." :)

I loved how you described the duel, too, with Gellert older and so much worse, but still him (and I loved that line, too, but I suspect I'm going to start running out of characters soon), and how hard it must have been for him to be there, and to have to do it. It was a really heart-wrenching moment, and I don't say that lightly! ;)

The way you tied Life in with the story/book metaphor was so, so great, and how inevitable the duel was as the conclusion of the story. I think other people have mentioned it before (they should have!), but this: "You held your head high that day, Albus, as you fought your heart and your lover simultaneously; you stole the pen from Life and wrote the ending of the story yourself." is just amazing. It's just so so good I can't even explain it other than to repeat myself.

You wrote them in love so so well, too, without even quite saying it explicitly, and I just love how you did that. It was so gorgeous - the way you described Albus as 'breathing Gellert in' and how even afterwards he regrets that it ended so quickly, and still loves Gellert, still can't think of him badly, the way other people would do. It's so expressive, and it's so heart-breaking, because even though I know what's going to happen, I still wish that there could be some kind of happy ending for them, especially with the way you make it so clear and so painful that Albus almost misses Gellert, and still loves him.

The way you wrote this is just amazing. Seriously. Like, every word is chosen so exactly and just fits in so perfectly... it really is amazing. I don't know what else to call it, tbh. You've always been so so good at making me feel for your characters, and believe in them, and everything, and of course I'm going to be biased by Albus/Gellert is my ship, man, but you write them so so well and whenever I've read this, once I've started I haven't been able to stop until I reached the bottom. It's an absolute gift you've got, and it's so beautiful, and I'm absolutely floored by the fact that you wrote this for me, and really, I have no idea what to say.

Thank you so so much for this - it's just amazing, and so beautiful, and gah, I'm just going to throw this everywhere around the forums in an attempt to say thank you, so please excuse me... :P :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #29, by AphorideOh My Darling: 1

2nd May 2015:
Hi there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

I really love the premise of this and the way you set it up so that the beginning moment - the event which starts everything - happens at the end, and how it's such a simple thing. It's so clever, using just a look from a conversation as the thing which kickstarts things - I haven't read too many stories where it is that simple; usually the starting factor is a lot bigger, so it's so nice to see something different.

I really like your MC, too - Clementine. I like how she doesn't seem to be very stereotypical front what we've seen of her so far - she's not the cleverest student in her year, seems kinda shy/not fond of crowds and parties and things, and pretty interested in history - or at least certain historical periods. She's a really relatable character, and I like that - so is her best friend, and well, really, almost all of the characters you introduce in here.

The little details in this were so good, too - I love how you mentioned Albus Potter didn't stay at the party long, suggesting perhaps he's not overly fond of parties either, but that James threw famous parties at school, and the gossip-related information about hte other students, too - it is so true to school life!

Your writing is lovely in this, too - you've got this really lovely style which is so clean and fresh and allows your strengths - your dialogue, your humour - to come through in this. It's really great! :)

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you liked this! It's a new narration style for me, and Clementine is different from a lot of my OC's. She and I are quite similar, though, so she feels very natural for me to write.
Albus is a mystery to Clementine, since she doesn't go to parties and doesn't believe the gossip she hears about him, so it'll take her a little while to really figure him out.
Thank you so much for the review swap! I'm so, so happy you liked this!
Cassie :)


 Report Review

Review #30, by AphorideHurricane Luna: He Searches in His Heart

2nd May 2015:
Hey Beth, dropping by for our review swap! :) There was no way I was going to go anywhere else than here when I saw I had another chapter left to read ;)

Ah, I feel so sorry for Rolf in this - with the whole way everyone else around, Xeno and Neville and Harry and Ginny all being so quasi-judgmental of him, because they feel like Luna's disappearance is his fault, in some way - and, you know, they kinda have something of a point there, in a way, even though it is kinda harsh to say on poor Rolf :( I loved, though, the moment when Neville is all bad-tough-guy, hehe, and Rolf finally admits he has feelings for Luna - true, strong feelings of the L.O.V.E. kind - which you made me wait a long time for :P (But it was totally worth it!) There was something so lovely about seeing all of these people rallying round to protect Luna, even from someone they knew she cared about a lot. It really spoke of the loyalty they have to each other as friends, which I love.

Your Harry and Ginny and Xeno and Neville are all so spot on, too - and I'm so excited to see more of them, in some cases, and to meet them in this in others. Neville especially - I love how you worked in Neville's friendship with Luna, especially, since I always liked the idea of them being surprisingly close as a pair, since Ginny was always that little bit closer to the trio, you know? As before, they're all so so well written - so real, and so true, and so close to their canon counterparts, it's really really impressive.

Little!Albus Severus is the most adorable thing ever. He's just too cute - and the way he's so helpful, and he knows where Luna is and wants to go with them... aww, poor little guy. Maybe when he's older :P

As always, I love your writing in this. Rolf's voice is so strong, and you portray things in this beautifully unique way, with the settings and the characters... your description is so good, and I love your dialogue, too. It's all so clean and so clear and just so lovely to read, it really is.

Okay, so I'm so so looking forward to the next chapter, and the team heading off to Iceland to find Luna - will she be there? Will she have found the creature yet, or will she discover it with Rolf? Will they make up (I hope so!)? Gah, just so many questions! :P

Please, please write another chapter soon? I really do need to know these things! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there Laura!

Eep! I have to say. I never, never, never, expected my Hurricane Luna story to be so well received. You and Rose and a few others just send me the kindest, sweetest reviews for it - and I end up sitting at my computer screen just staring all giddy and smiley and such - haha!

Gah! The crew just HAD to be so judgmental to Rolf. First off, they're one big lot of Gryffindors who are fiery and temperamental and ready to fight anyone who does wrong. Secondly - it's LUNA! Everyone absolutely adores her and they *think* she's a bit more naive and innocent than she is, and might just need some type of saving - they are gonna step in. (I had a BLAST writing angry!Neville :D)

I really wasn't sure how to shape the end of the chapter (where they figure out to go to Iceland), but then I realized what was missing - and little Albus reappeared! Unfortunately, he's a bit *too* little to head off on an adventure with them, but he definitely helped out!

The next chapter. Uhh...

What?

Erm - I think someone's calling me. I gotta go!

:D

♥ Beth


 Report Review

Review #31, by AphorideJigsaw: Piece #2

30th April 2015:
Hey Sian - dropping by for our review swap! :) So I'll admit double motives for stopping by on this - I've missed reading murdr mysteries recently and this is so good and I've been meaning to come back to it for ages, but never found time to (or forgotten, as happens :P), and I've promised myself (and you, kinda) to review The Story of You separately, because, really, considering all things, it feels like it would be a bit rude not to.

That probably doesn't make any sense. Ah well :P

Anyway, I love this story so much - really, it's just so good, and so unique in what's about - you really do put a totally original take on the murder mystery genre.

Roxanne is such a brilliant character - I love how she's so excited and nervous about doing her first big story at the same time - the idea of doing something like that, totally on my own, is so terrifying... and how she feels so out of place with the other journalists, who are all probably so much more experienced than her... I loved the idea of them all being friends, kinda like a clique in school, and her being the odd one out, like the new girl. It's a very stark image, I think, and you make me feel so awkward and sorry for her with it. They really are all kinda vulture-like, and almost predatory in nature, jumping on the Hit Witch - I loved how unimpressed she was with them all, haha, it was again a lovely human moment (and I can imagine it's so true in RL too, with the police and all).

The photographer is hilarious. I love him to bits - how he's so good-looking, but sounds slightly messy, and then his whole freelance photography sort of as the respectable arm of his socialite career :P (I'm guessing he's Pansy Parkinson's son, and really I'm so impressed you made me like her son, since I loathe her as a character, haha)

Ooh, Daniel... okay, I'm super curious to know what happened with Daniel - and if anything will happen with Daniel in the future of this story, or if that romance is really dead. It seems so heartbreaking, and so awkward for the two of them - you write it so well, the ended romance, without (I think) actually saying it explicitly. It's just there, you know, and it's so hard - the emotions come through your writing so, so well. I love how affected she still is by him, and how easy it is to slip back into familiar habits - it's so true, I think, with anyone you kinda leave behind or stop seeing. Gah, they seem like they'd really work together, too - so bad they broke up and I don't even know the story! He's been involved in this for what, five hundred words? How do you do this?!

(Also, I loved the little mention of the fame the Weasley surname gathers, with Roxanne wondering if people are looking round because of her surname or the name of the newspaper, or perhaps because she's obviously new.)

Your writing is amazing in this, too. You write action and emotion so, so well, and even the waiting, when Roxanne is looking around and feeling so alone and everything, is so gorgeously written. The description of the crime scene, with the Hit Wizards inside and the photographers and reporters all outside, was pretty much drool-worthy and really brought the scene to life - I really could picture it so so clearly.

I'm so so curious about the crime scene and what's going to come out about this man's disappearance over the next while - has he actually left of his own accord or not? Will they find a body, and then it will be a murder? Will other people go missing too, out of the blue? It's such a cliff-hanger type situation you've left us in, without needing an actual cliff-hanger, and I'm just so looking forward to getting to the next chapter to find out! :)

(I have to say as well, that the way you write about the reporters and how they work and all is just so, so good. It seems so real, and so in-depth, as though you know everything about journalism. It's so brilliant!)

I love this. If this isn't in my favourites, I made a mistake when I first read this :P I will stalk this over the summer holidays ;)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #32, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: A Kiss At Breakfast

26th April 2015:
Hey Molly! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

First of all, I just have to say... WHAT THE... JUPITER! WHY, just whhy - Scop and Al deserve to be happy, and he just insists on screwing everything up, even more than it was before (coz, you know, people won't necessarily have believed it before but after that they will, and you can't really blame them!)! Stupid, stupid boy... hm. I kinda liked Jupiter before, but not for this.

Coincidentally that's one of the things I love about your characters - they're so real. They're real-life teenagers, with all the melodrama and overreacting and faint paranoia about who said what about who and what other people think and so on. It's so true to life, and really emphasises both the characters qualities and their flaws. Plus it's that bit more fun, too, you know ;)

I don't really blame Albus for this one so much. I mean, of course he should trust Scorpius more than he does, but when your sister comes to you and says something like that, of course you're likely to believe it, you know? It's coming from someone you trust unreservedly, and that means something. It's such a difficult position for Albus - to either not believe his sister, or to not believe Scorpius. There isn't really a right answer. And then the whole thing with Jupiter 'giving them something to talk about'... I mean, gosh, if Albus had had second thoughts about whether or not it was true, he won't after that! And who can blame him? Poor guy, that's gotta be rough.

I like too how you tied the reason for people suspecting something going on between Jupiter and Scorp was rooted in misunderstanding and a lack of acceptance, too - that they don't quite get that being friends with someone who's gay doesn't necessarily mean there's any kind of romantic attachent there. It's such a horrible thing for people to think, but again so real, and I like how you've touched on it here and shown how horrible it can be to those people involved.

(That was a lot more preachy than I intended, sorry! :P)

I just... gah, I feel so sorry for them all, you know - Scorp for his arm getting broken (and reacting angrily to pain like that is so like me, haha!) and Al not trusting him, Al for then seemingly having it all proven to him that Scorp isn't the guy Al thinks he is. It's such a shame for them - I just want them to be happy! :(

You have to update soon - I really, really wanna know what happens next! Please, please don't say they break up? :( Ahhh, this is so bad! :P

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thanks for this great review. I'm totally with you about Jupiter. That was sooo unnecessary and stupid. But he acted on his own, I did everything in my power to stop him... ;-)

I think both Albus and Scorpius are to be blamed. They're still very young, and they're both quite short-tempered... They can't help it, I suppose...


 Report Review

Review #33, by AphorideDiversions from Reality.: Discussions and Disagreements

26th April 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

I love the way this continues on from the first one - how smooth the scene change is, from Lily talking to Remus to them here at the beginning of this one, too. It's so great!

Your characters, as before, are so so good, too! I love the little hints about Remus maybe fancying Sirius, and Sirius sort of knowing and being so horrible about it - he really is so cruel at times! - and how he tries so hard to be the reasonable one in their group of friends; it's so true to his character in the books. James had such a great little cameo in this - he seems almost run down and worn, as though he's kinda old before his time, exhausted in a way, which is so unique in a portrayal of him, and I really love it :)

Sirius, as before, is really pretty nasty here. He's really not very nice to his friends - his teasing's so malicious, you know? It's kinda ironic how in this he's really just as bad as Snape as, just perhaps in a different way. Remus has a point, too, about Sirius' relationship with Lily not necessarily being a good thing, for either of them - and the argument Remus and Sirius have over it definitely shows a lot of the difficulties there would be in a relationship between people so different as Lily and Sirius, which I loved.

You really are so good at showing emotions in writing - the way you described Sirius' emotions in his was so, so good, and the way you displayed Remus' emotions and wound those in too, was so so lovely. You really bring the feelings out of the story, which is so great, especially in this story, and I love how volatile so many of the characters are - especially Sirius. It really gives this this sense that things are on edge, that people are on edge, which is so so lovely and so great for this kind of forbidden-esque romance, you know?

I'm so so curious to know what happens after this, you leave so many threads hanging: what is going to happen between Sirius and Lily? Will James and Lily ever get together and how would it happen? Does Remus actually like Sirius and will anything ever happen with that? It's such a good plot you've got here, surprisingly suspenseful for a romance-involving story! :P

So glad I got a chance to stop by this again! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello :) Again, Day=Made! I'm so so chuffed you liked it. This is a bit out of my comfort zone as I've never written anything quite like this before. I think Sirius has always had a malicious streak, whether it's just him or whether he lashes out because of the way he was treated by his family- whose to say. I wasn't sure about James really as he may not have actually forgiven Sirius for going out with Lily, but then I suppose he would be likely to put his friend's happiness before his own! As to what will happen next with Jily- well, that would be telling...
I think Remus is genuinely torn between doing what he sees as the right thing by trying to help Lily, and all these confusing feeling that he doesn't know are reciprocated! I think Remus is another character who would put other people's happiness before his own!
I do like to keep people guessing a bit (I love a cliffy! haha). I kind of know the answers to all those questions- but obviously I'm giving nothing away ;)
Thanks so much again, I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

ML xxx


 Report Review

Review #34, by AphorideCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Albus's Guilt Trip

14th April 2015:
Hey Branwen! :) Stopping by from BvB battle!

You know, I just have to say this because I think it's kinda appropriate - I apologise if there's any weird wording/spellings in this because I'm watching Atletico v Real Madrid in the Champions league quarters :P So yeah, blame any mistakes on that ;)

I really love the way you've set this up. A lot of Next Gens often feel overly similar to me, you know - and it can be really pretty boring (and I'm easily bored, oops) - but this has a really different feel to it. I love how it starts with them already at school, rather than arriving at school or anything, and how Rose's character is established, as, well, not the nicest person in the world :P

No, seriously, she's an amazing character. She's so real, you know, which, for me, always makes things that much better. Rose is somewhat prejudiced, even if it's a logical and personal kinda reason why, she's aware of it and doesn't seem too bothered by it, and she seems to have a bit of a temper on her - but she's also clearly pretty clever, pretty brave and bold and unafraid of speaking her mind. She seems like the kind of person who's loud and isn't necessarily used to being talked over/told she's wrong or beaten verbally. Her characterisation, tbh, makes the whole 'hate-to-love' thing - normally something I hate with a passion, I gotta admit - so so much better, and actually something I like in here, because it makes sense, you know? And I can see how, I imagine, her realising about Scorpius is tied into a growing up, coming-of-age kinda storyline too. Which, imo, is probably the best way to manage that kind of cliche ;)

So yeah, I love Rose. Tbh, though, all of your characters are so, so good in this. Al and Scorpius - even James and Roxanne, who don't really appear all that much at all in this first chapter - are so interesting and so real. I'm so glad to see James friends with Roxanne rather than Freddy, and Al being the little socialite with so many friends from different houses :P They're such great presentations of them all, and I'm so curious to see what you do with them in the future - especially Scorpius, ofc ;)

Especially with Rose and Scorpius, I love how you've set it up so that Rose is the unreasonable one, in terms of her house opinions, and Scorpius is the rational one instead. It's a lovely overturn of the Hermione-Draco feud, in a way.

Your writing in this is so gorgeous too. Just the perfect balance of description and dialogue, and all of it is so so good. It just flowed so beautifully and sucked me into the story completely. The only thing I want to mention - since I know you're editing it atm - is that there are a couple of strange word phrasing things (like at one point you say something like 'could cut even out') which sounded a bit odd in my head. Maybe something to look over? But seriously, they're pretty minor things - they didn't disrupt anything much at all and the only reason they're even noticeable is because the rest of your writing is so good ;)

It's strange - having seen you around for so long in the CR, I can't believe this is my first review on this :P Will have to try and come back sometime later on in the Battle ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey, Aph! ♥ It was definitely super appropriate that you reviewed a story of mine during a Madrid derby I was glued to the tv for. :P (Speaking of - sorry about Bayern! Can't imagine they won't bounce back at home, though!)

I agree that sometimes, next-gens (both characters and plots, really) can fall into vague molds that don't change enough between stories/authors. I'm really glad that, thus far, at least, you don't feel like this falls into that trap.

I love that you got that from Rose, because yes - I think you're 100% right. She's not used to being challenged, especially by people who don't back down pretty quickly, and I have so much fun with that in this fic because I think the only two people who really push that on a regular basis are Albus and Scorpius himself - albeit in very different ways! Scorpius actually definitely touches on the 'hate-to-love' thing pretty directly a couple times later in the story - if you get that far at any point, I hope you like it there, too!

And yes, speaking of Scorpius - I definitely wanted to avoid the undertones of the Hermione-Draco feud (and Draco 2.0 in general) that I think are pretty prevalent through Scoroses. Because, seriously, what, like Draco hasn't changed and raised his kid in a very different way than his father raised him? Come on. (I mean, I've read stories where this was well done... but yeah, definitely wanted to avoid it!)

Thank you so much for the review! I'll look over the wording again asap and correct it. ♥


 Report Review

Review #35, by AphorideThis Treasure: You Make Me Smile

13th April 2015:
Hey Sian! :) Okay, so I think I picked a bad time to write reviews, haha, but also a really, really hard story to review :( Oops! (And not in a bad way, not at all - just that, you know, it's heartbreaking, and I'm pretty sure that's going to be about a third of my review :P)

Okay, so Imma try and say something a little more interesting than 'this was heartbreaking. So beautiful, but heartbreaking' over and over again, because I suspect that would get dull pretty quickly ;)

I loved the way you had this split up into sections, with the different times and different moments throughout their lives dotted around the timeline of the end creeping closer and closer to them. It was such an inevitable conclusion, but at the same time it didn't really matter that I already knew kinda how it would end, because the writing was so beautiful and somehow, I have no idea how you did it though, with the moments there was still story - still moments of them to see in their lives. It was almost sweeter and more romantic seeing those moments and knowing what came after, you know? Like, despite the heartbreak, you could see they had been happy, and it made it so much worse and a little bit better at the same time, because at least they had what they had and they were happy during it.

The way you wrote both Ron and Hermione was amazing. They're such huge characters in the books that they terrify me so much with the thought of writing them, because they're so easy to mess up, you know, but you do them so perfectly in this - it's almost like they've just stepped out of the books and into this. Like, everything about them is perfect - from the way Hermione always seems to know what to say, to the way Ron is so astounded at Muggle things, to how they act around each other and how absolutely in love they are, but still with that undertone of faint, happy bickering :P

Your writing... ugh. Where do I even start with this? It was so gorgeous. All of your description was amazing - that scene where you had Hermione in the bed in the hospital was so stark and so clear in my mind it was incredible. I think the best thing about it, though, was how real the emotions in it were, and how true. Like, I've never lost someone that close to me before, but the emotions made me feel almost like I had, and made me imagine so realistically what it would be like if I did: how hard it would be and what it would be like to go through.

I love how you've used the DH missing moment with Ron and the Deluminator, and then the references to their kiss at the Battle and Ron's behaviour at the ball and all of those little things in this, too. They're all so perfectly placed as though two people really are just talking at one random time, and it happens to come up, like an old joke or comment. It's so right for them, considering how much time they spent together and how much time they were close, that it feels like that.

Okay, so this was completely heartbreaking, and I may even have felt tears pricking a little towards the end, and it was so gorgeously written, and Ron and Hermione were just so perfect - actually all the characters were perfect - and this was just way too beautiful for me not to favourite it, in total. So yeah, I loved it! :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #36, by AphorideTaming the Dragon Tamer: [one]

13th April 2015:
Hi there! :) Okay, so first off, I have to admit that I've always loved the idea of Charlie being gay - it's always been one of those little parts of my headcanon I've never explored, you know? So yeah, I just had to stop by on this because so much of this is so much like my headcanon :)

I love how it starts with Charlie being hurt and how that then turns into how he meets the guy who, I hope, he falls in love with and (finally!) introduces to his family (because I suspect they would be a little bit more accepting than he thinks... also because he deserves it!). Coincidence is always such a wonderful thing to play with, and I love it when authors use it like this! :)

Your characterisation of Charlie was brilliant, too. I love how he's so passionate about his dragons, and wants to work with them so much that he's even willing to risk his own health for it. He's such a lovely guy, and again, so much like how I've always pictured him. I love as well, I have to say, how when he saw Christopher in the wheelchair his first thought almost was for the dragons :P It's so great how you've not avoided him being so in love with his work and the idea of it, you know? Because it's always seemed to me so central to his character, so I love that you've worked it in so well :)

Your writing in this is so so good, too. I think I've seen you say on the forums that you're not a native speaker (Austrian, right?), and your English is incredible. I could never hope to write anything in German which is half as good as this is. All of your description is so lovely, and your dialogue is great, too. Plus the emotions you describe are all so real, and really feel real, too - coming out of your writing.

I love the little moment at the end, when Charlie gets caught being rude about his tour group, and how Christopher calls him out on it. Good for him! :P Charlie deserved it, too. I'm so curious to see where this goes - I'll have to see about catching you in the BvB some time :)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was so great! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!
I'm glad you picked this story.

Charlie really does need to trust his family more, he might be surprised by what he finds. I think he needs a really strong character who can stand up to him as a counterpart. I picture him as a very daring person as long as it doesn't concern matters of the heart.

Charlie's work is the only thing we know he loves from the HP books. I think it has to be important to him in order to make Charlie seem believeable. He almost sees them as his children and loves them with everything he's got.

I'm glad you think my writing is good, I often feel like it could still use some work... I'm from Austria, but please don't go easy on me in any reviews just because english is my second language. I've always been fascinated with it and even though I'm fluent and have no trouble with it, I still think there's room for improvement.

Chris certainly doesn't take any of Charlie's nonsense. He needs to be strong and self-confident in order to put up with Charlie's own insecurities.

I'm really glad we did the swap, your work was really great. I think I was able to pick up on a couple of things that might help me improve my writing there.

Thanks so much for the lovely review.

~Anja

Aph xx


 Report Review

Review #37, by AphorideBruises: Terror

13th April 2015:
Hey there, Kaitlin! :) Stopping by for our review swap!

Okay, so this is unsurprisingly a pretty difficult thing to read - things like this, the ideas that people were ever treated like this is horrific, you know? It's so hard to understand how people could have done things like this.

That being said, this is a beautifully devastating story in itself. I love the way you write it, going through day by day with Caroline's progress, how she slowly regains her memory and works out where she was and who she was, and who the people around her are and why she was there. You really made me root for her and want her to find out, and understand why, and to get out too, so she could be safe - though, of course, in the end, it seems to be to a certain degree of 'safe'. Poor girl, it really seems to be too much for her to ask, which is horrible.

I love the way you characterise her, though, the way she's so desperate to get out and so cunning, in the end, with the way she figures out to essentially make them believe they've won and that they've 'cured' her. It's a very clever strategy, really. Also, I love the way she determines in the end that she's going to protect her sister from what happened to her - though you don't tell us if she succeeds or not - and there's still this kind of fire in her. It's such great characterisation - I love it to bits! :)

You manage the subject matter so, so well too. It's such a difficult thing to write about, and so necessary to get the details right, too, you know, especially considering the intricacies of what you're portraying and the limits of written horror and so on. Your writing really brings all the emotions and the angst and the dark/horror out of this, too - it makes it all so much more emotive and evocative, with the images it presents. (Though one small thing - you say 'shakes her head yes' where I think maybe 'nods her head yes' would be better? Like, it's a more common description - but then, feel free to ignore me if the repetition is intended ;))

This is a gorgeously written, heart-breaking one-shot, it really is. I'm only sorry I can't find more to say about it.

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

I agree the idea that these types of things ever happened to humans are horrific! Especially in reality where they were done to treat people for being different.

I'm happy to hear that you were rooting for Caroline. So was I! I wanted the story to make the reader feel like they were struggling along with Caroline to create some sympathy for her.

I think Sarah is the absolute most important part of Caroline's life, so she will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. That fire in her will stay alive as long as her sister needs her.

The shaking the head yes was pointed out to me by another reader as well. Where I come from it is acceptable to say both shake your head yes and shake your head no...but I can totally see why this is confusing and will be editing it to nodding instead.

Thank you for such lovely compliments. It means a lot coming from you because you do such beautiful writing.

~Kaitlin


 Report Review

Review #38, by Aphoridebroken, broken: after the Battle.

11th April 2015:
Hey Emily! :D So I thought it was about time I stopped by this having heard so much about it in the cabin and around and so on, so here I am! :)

I love how you deal with this from the Slytherins' point of view, rather than the winners of the battle - it's so so true to think that the 'losers' will face similar issues to those who won, you know, and that they'll suffer too. It's not limited to the people on the right side of things - it's everyone, because these things don't discriminate.

Plus, the Slytherins of their year are a pretty fascinating bunch :P

I love how you've characterised Daphne - I identify with her so much. She's so real, with the way she internalises so much of what she's suffered, and she just wants out, and trying to help her friends gets wearing after a time - these things aren't nice things, but they're true in life and give this a lovely, almost bitter little twist. I love as well her relationships with the others - Astoria and Pansy especially - they're so rich and complicated and so in depth. It's really amazing, I don't know quite how you do it! :) Her relationship with Pansy is so so lovely, too - I love how easy it is, and you just know the kiss is coming, it fits in so well and it's sort of inevitable, really, because of the way you write the two of them.

Pansy and Astoria, too are wonderful characters. Actually, everyone in this is. I love how they're all struggling, and they've all reacted to it in different, equally heartbreaking ways - Pansy with her panic attacks and anxiety, Blaise by brewing potion, Gregory by making circles in his fists from his nails, Astoria by being angry... it's just so, so good, and it really gives a kind of darker reflection of what they were like before, in a way, which just makes it that much more sad. There's this sense in all of them, from your writing, that they're all so delicate and potentially about to break at any moment.

That moment with Millicent's wand snapped by the tomb was so so horrible. I'm not sure if she snapped it herself or if she was arrested or something, but either way the idea that she now doesn't perhaps want a wand or magic is just so incredibly sad. Especially when you think that one of the points of the war was to be more accepting of people with magic.

Your writing in this is gorgeous. Just so, so gorgeous. Your description is amazing, so emotive and evocative and just wonderful. The whole time I was reading this, I couldn't stop and it felt almost like I was being told this by a friend or something, like I was half-involved in it, and invested and, gah, almost like I was holding my breath for so long, you know?

This is just so so gorgeous and I'm sorry this review is a little bit short and very rambly and probably hasn't said much, oops, but gah, I just love this. I'm so so excited to see where this goes from here, and what happens to them all.

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #39, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: A Letter From Home

7th April 2015:
Hey - dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry I didn't see it until so late - I've been in and out cooking dinner and things, so I missed it for a while. Anyway, I'm here now!

I loved this chapter - I love Scorpius so much, and Albus too, but Scorpius I think needed this so much, especially the letter from his dad. I love how the broom was almost literally something like an olive branch - maybe not completely, we'll see when his parents turn up for the game, I think - and it's also made of wood, which was a neat connection. Also, the letter was so sweet - so simple, but something Scorpius needed to hear so badly. I'm really, really hoping that when his parents turn up for the game everything goes okay for him (and for Albus, too!) :)

Albus was so great in this, too - I loved how he wanted to study so much, and has to study, too, and how he was planning to take Valentine's Day off to spend it with Scorpius and therefore was studying more than usual to make up for it. It's such a sweet, forward-thinking thing, you know?

What I always love about your Albus and Scorpius is how, at times like this, they're so good at being in a relationship - like, they understand each other, they don't necessarily need to ask each other about things, they can just do them and be comfortable with that. It's so great - you write their relationship so brilliantly!

I love how well you're developing the supporting cast, too - Dorinda and Jupiter are such wonderful characters! I love how nervous Jupiter is about writing letters to his girlfriend, because he doesn't really know Muggle things - it's so real, that struggle you know? - and how Dorinda feels so lonely because it feels like everyone else is pairing off around her (and don't I know that feeling! :P) and Scorpius' misreading of that, haha! Poor boy, he got it so wrong :P

Your writing in this is lovely, as usual. You're so so good with the little things - like, especially in this chapter, there were so many little things which evoked emotions and so on: Dorinda laughing louder than the others at the joke, Scorpius crying when he reads the letter from his dad... it's so so lovely, because they really make the whole thing come to life. Plus, your descriptions are so great, especially the contrast between the library and outside, and your dialogue is always on point.

I'm so so curious if the match will be the next chapter, and what will happen when Scorpius' parents are there... ah, it's not even a cliffhanger! See what this story does to me? :P

Thank you so much for the swap - it was so lovely, as always! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thanks for this great review! I'm sorry I'm so late in my response.

I really appreciate your reviews, and that you like my characters. But, knowing what will happen later on in this story, I'm going to disappoint you, I'm afraid... Albus and Scorpius seem to have the parfect relationship, but how little they know...

Thanks again for the swap!

Molly


 Report Review

Review #40, by AphorideEverything About You: Everything About You

7th April 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so I have to admit I'm not a big fan of Dramione, but sometimes some of them work, you know? ;) And the summary of this sounded so, so interesting so I just had to stop by to see what it was about.

I really liked this, too - I loved how you characterised Draco, and how you made it a slow-build type thing, with him being almost obsessed with teasing her and bullying and belittling her from the beginning, and the hints that it's more because he likes her than anything else. It's such a different characterisation to what I've seen before with Dramione's and it's so much more realistic and so much less cliche, which I adore, too. It's a very childish thing of Draco to do, but he is, essentially a child, and I loved how it changes as he grows up and that when he's older he realises the truth of his feelings and his obsession with her.

Hermione too is so good. She and Harry and Ron are characters I'm always so terrified to write because they're the trio, you know, and JK Rowling wrote them so completely, that for me I just find it them so scary, because if you get them wrong, it's obvious. But you wrote her so beautifully here, and so true to canon too. I loved how she reacted to Draco, how her temper was evident there, and how she, in the end, was so forgiving of him. I loved the little references to her intelligence and her hardworking nature, and the contradictions Draco would have seen or felt with her being better than him academically, but being muggle-born and so supposedly inferior. It's one of those contradictions which wasn't really explored in the books, so I love how you explored it in this :)

Your writing in this was so lovely, too - I loved your descriptions, and the narrative you used in this. It was such a brilliant style - with Draco going through so much of his life, not skimping on any of it, and yet not providing too much detail that it got swamped down in it - it was such a perfect balance of the two. I loved the minimalist dialogue, too - it really added to the story, to the narrative feel in particular.

I loved the ending, and how you had things develop after the war, and how he changed and grew as a person. I think it's totally believeable that he changed then - there's no pressure, you know, to believe the things he believed as a child, and he's young enough for his opinions to still potentially change. Not completely, but just enough. Plus, the way you work it in that he might well have been subconsciously questioning things behind it all really makes it work so much better, too, and makes the sudden change so much more real.

Also, I have to say that I loved the fact that all the eighth years bonded together - it's a pretty sweet gesture, tbh - and I love how they didn't ask him. Poor Draco, haha, having his table and quiet stolen :P And the ending is so sweet, too! One of those moments which is just so perfect :)

This is a really, really lovely one-shot - I'm so glad we swapped so I could read it! :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #41, by Aphoridei'm coming home: breathe.

7th April 2015:
Hey Lisa! :) So I'm so glad you wanted to swap because, tbh, I don't think I read enough of your stuff (and is it an excuse to say you write a lot of good stuff in a short space of time? :P Probably not, haha).

And this is so good. It's such a sweet, hopeful one-shot, and your writing is so lovely and so good at pulling all of the emotions out to make me feel what your characters are feeling, you know? It makes this so touching and the ending all that much better for it, because I'm genuinely glad that Daphne will have the chance to get better, and will be able to, and will fall in love and have a chance at the life she should have had anyway.

(I think this is the point I should say that my sisters both have anxiety. Different types, and neither of them has panic attacks, really - one of them has, but really rarely - so this is kinda hard-hitting for me because of that.)

I love the way you wrote Daphne, too, how she was so scared and how she couldn't remember even if she'd been anxious like that before the war, or just since it had started. She's such a beautiful character - she's scared and has such bad anxiety (I wanted to hug her for most of this, I gotta admit), and yet she's still able to stand up for herself to Draco and be the older sister when talking about Draco and Astoria. She's so real, but then most of the people you write are, so that shouldn't be too much of a surprise ;)

The whole thing with her meeting Cho was gorgeous. I love that it happened in a coffee shop - it's a bit of a cliche at times, but it works so well, and it's such a cute idea, haha - and how Cho pretty much knew Daphne liked her, and liked her back, without Daphne saying anything. It was such a lovely scene, when Cho talked to her after she'd been at the cafe all day for so long. And then when they met up at the teashop (a not-date date :P Hehe, always love it when that happens!), and the kiss afterwards... it was so so sweet! :)

You know, I actually really like Cho as a character - she always gets so picked on by fans, but really, she saw her boyfriend get murdered. I'd cry after that! - so I'm so glad you chose her for this, because she really deserves a second chance :P Also, she's really not written enough, in any form. I love how she's so nice and genuine and warm in this, how she just wants to help and she's so invested, and she's suffered so much but she keeps going. She's just amazing, and I love how you described her with the continual references to light and so on - it was so gorgeous, and really so romantic, too.

Your writing, as usual, was so gorgeous in this. Your description is so lovely - the panic attacks you wrote were so vivid! - and your dialogue, of course, was brilliant. I loved the way you used taste in this too - the repetition of coffee and sunlight and bravery, even if not entirely - because it was so gorgeous, and as a phrase I love it anyway :P

Also, just a small thing, but I loved how Tori knows everything :P Poor Draco, hehe.

But yes, this was a gorgeous, gorgeous one-shot, and I'm sorry this review is a little short, but I think if I repeated 'this is gorgeous. this is gorgeous. you are gorgeous.' etc. ad nauseum, it might get a little boring :P But yes, this is so gorgeous! :D

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #42, by AphorideForget Me Not: bloom and wither

7th April 2015:
Hi Adi! :) So I have to admit that I saw this around when Aditi's challenge first ended, but I never got round to reading it - so I'm so glad you dropped this off for me today, because, honestly, it really, really was worth it.

Like, this is such a beautiful, thought-provoking, devastating one-shot. I really don't know how you did it - made it so so good - and you're not at the end that you're not sure if you managed it well just blows my mind, because this is amazing, and if you can't see it, then you really, really should ;)

Your characterisation in this is amazing. I love Scorpius - how absolute his loyalty is to her, because he loves her, and how both things even go beyond actually liking her and being her friend. It's such a beautiful construction of feelings, and of a person, that it feels so, so real - more real than so much else I've read recently. It's astounding. I love, too, how this started almost sort of after the fact - in that it was after he'd fallen in love with her, and after they'd split up and things seemed to have gone wrong for them. It's such a clever thing to do, and such a bittersweet thing to build a new relationship after it.

Rose is just... like Scorpius, I'm kinda torn between liking her and disliking her, but, mostly, I just feel so so sorry for her. Because no one deserves the kind of thing she ends up going through, and it's so so difficult for people to get out of, but at the same time so easy for people to misunderstand and think/say 'well, just do'. Things are never that simple in situations like Rose's. But yes, I love how she's so flawed, too - how she's inherently selfish, even if she's almost only looking to be happy but keeps getting it wrong, and somewhat materialistic, and almost foolish in a way, too. It's again, an incredibly poignant and human portrayal and I love it to pieces.

The way you write the whole situation in this is so beautiful - I can't feel wholly sorry for Scorpius and blame Rose, but at the same time, Rose isn't an angel herself. It's such a complicated relationship and such a difficult, heartbreaking situation, that, really, it's just almost destined to end badly from the beginning, and yet throughout it you kept making me hope that it would end vaguely well, at least.

You dealt with the subject matter so well, too - something like that is always so hard to write, and often ends up being, perhaps unintentionally, glorified in a way (like, oh but he doesn't mean to or something, which really just... grr, but let's not get sidetracked :P), but you wrote it so well, and it just sort of added to the complications of the story, and added to the sort of unspoken half of Rose's story, you know? So major kudos to you for that, because it's so not easy and here it's just devastating, really (as it should be!).

Your writing in this is so gorgeous, too. Just everything about it is amazing. From your description - which is stunning - to your dialogue, which I'm so jealous of (please teach me how you dialogue? Seriously?), it's just so so good. Every word is so well-placed and so right for the situation, and you have such a beautiful flow and pace in this, and the different sections worked so well. This line: "Whatever happens, I'll bloom someday. And only for you." was just stunning. And heartbreaking. Equally. Just gah :(

I loved the repetition of the summary lines, too, and how it tied into the end. That moment, wah, that was so, so cruel, and so sad to read. I'd kinda seen it coming (I have to admit that much, I think :P), but it wasn't any less heartbreaking to read it knowing it was coming than not, I think.

I've said heartbreaking and beautiful too often in this review, I think, but really, that's what it is. So there :P

Thank you so so much for the swap - I'm so so glad of it because this was gorgeous! :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #43, by AphorideYou: you

7th April 2015:
NO! I lost first review! :( So upsetting... next time, Emily, next time ;)

Anyway, you know Albus/Gellert is one of my absolute OTPs, but I've always loved the idea of Elphias Doge having an unrequited thing for Albus - after all, he seems pretty passionate about believing in Albus in the books, you know? :P Plus, unrequited love, to me, is more interesting than it being perfectly requited in some instances - like this one.

So yeah, I love the whole idea of this, and the way you've done it too. It's just so beautiful, the way you wrote it, with the idea that Elphias doesn't know if Albus ever knew, maybe ever even suspected, and he never said anything, because he believed - rightly or wrongly - almost that he wasn't good enough. It's a heartbreaking approach to take, but I love it because of that, you know? It's so real, and so raw because of that. You really make me feel for Elphias, because no one wants to almost deny themselves love because they're too scared and they don't think they're worth it, but at the same time it's bittersweet, because at least he was never potentially told 'no'... though it's not necessarily the best thing.

Your Elphias is so sweet, though - like, adorable-sweet, haha. He just seems so well-meaning and nice and nervous almost, and I can't help but feel so sorry for him that he never quite had the courage, and seems to have had a lot of internalised issues with his own sexuality (which is incredibly period-appropriate, and I love that you included it for that reason, but is so sad when you think about how it will have affected people then, you know?). Poor, poor guy.

(And I doubt dating Muriel will have helped. No wonder she didn't seem to like him too much in DH! God, she's a terror, haha)

Your writing in this is so lovely, too - it's so beautiful and so clear, and there's this gorgeous tone of honesty, too, which I love so much. This style of writing is something I'm really into at the moment, don't know why, so yeah, I love it :) You're so good at evoking emotion, too, which is so lovely, and the tone of this is so bittersweet and reminiscent and just lovely.

Gah, this is such a good one-shot! I loved it! :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #44, by AphorideInanimate Objects: where possible salvation is tricked into arriving at the castle

5th April 2015:
WO FIRST REVIEW :D :D :D Hehe, hi Emily! :P

I loved this chapter as you already know. I mean, this whole story is pretty much genius, in terms of ideas, but this was just so good. Really, I have no idea how you do it! :)

Lucius is the funniest character in this - and I love how he's almost a stereotype of himself from the books, with the cynical kind of nature and the self-important little jabs about how he's stuck as a candelabra and really has no time for it :P I love how he's so almost rude to Dumbledore when he turns up to give the rose to Tom and Lucius, and how he almost has no patience for Tom's antics, with the chandelier and so on.

The way you've characterised all of them is so brilliant, too. I love how so many of the characters have been turned into different objects - with Crouch as a spade and Crabbe as the chandelier (gotta feel sorry for him; having Tom swing from him to jump down the floors when he feels like it can't be fun!) - they're just all such genius ideas, really. Plus, the little mentions of things, like Lucius clunking to the floor, and the light on his left candle blowing out, are so so good (and Goyle wanting oiling :P), because they really just bring the whole thing to life completely.

I'm so excited to see Bellatrix in this - haha, poor her! :P Her mother just abandoning her like that, and her knowing, really, that she's probably not at all like what Tom and the rest of them were looking for. I think you wrote her so well - she's got just the right amount of edginess, of wildness too, which is so Bellatrix. I loved the mention of the leather jacket, too - it was brilliant! Just the kind of thing I can imagine her wearing, if it didn't class as muggle, you know :P

(One little thing - it should be Gaunt manor, not Gaunt manner ;D)

As before, your writing is so so lovely - so clear and so precise and it's soaked, in this, in such a beautiful comedic tone which just allows the characters and the whole humour in this to flourish. It's so so good. Your description is gorgeous, as usual! ;)

Loved this chapter, as before! :) So excited for the next one - Bellatrix meeting Tom! :P

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #45, by Aphoridele ciel saigne pour nous. : la lune et l’étoile.

4th April 2015:
Hey Kiana! :) Dropping by for the BvB battle! I've been trying to catch you in it to review this, but I missed you before - but I got you this time, so it's okay :P

Okay, so I adore the title. Like, completely. It's so beautiful and so sad - things always sound more beautiful and less dangerous in French, I think (though that might just be me) - and yet there's still that underlying hint of something a bit darker, which I love so much. The title in itself could be a story, you know, which is amazing! ;)

I love the whole idea of this. I don't really have any Next Gen ships, as such, tbh, but I'd never read a Victoire/Scorpius before this one - and this is just amazing. You make me believe in them so much, and so disappointed for her that he doesn't show up in the end, when she wants him there. Through the whole thing, there's this lovely sense of love and romance, but not a cheesy, cliche kind of romance, a darker, more forbidden, kind of romance, which is much more my kind of thing :P

Plus, I love how you characterised both Victoire and Scorpius - how there was no sense of necessarily inherent good/evil kinda thing, they were both just people - and the way you did it, with a lot of physical imagery, with the fingers tracing lines and across ribs and things, was so beautiful, too. I loved how Victoire almost can't tell him the truth - and perhaps doesn't - when he asks her if she loves him, and how she's consumed by doubt (the smoke/fumes references was so perfect for that!), and almost suddenly can't think. It's so sad, because you can only wonder if that's maybe why he didn't show up - if he didn't think she actually loved him and decided to let her go.

The mystery in this is gorgeous, too. I love how you don't detail all of their relationship in its entirety, or all of their lives - but it's these beautiful little snapshots of them being them, and with the sea and the wind and sky. Like, we only see them together, and nothing more, and you manage that balance between enough detail that we can imagine it, and picture it, and hope for them, but not enough to take away from the mystery of what's going on behind it all - is Victoire actually in love with him? How did they get together? The unknown stuff really just adds to it - it really almost cements them as a couple in this, that we don't see them begin, if that makes sense... :P

Your writing is so beautiful in this too. Stylistically, the flow and the word choice is just perfect. It's amazing. All of your description too, is just so so gorgeous - it all fits in so well with the themes and with the picture and just... ugh, everything in this is so, so good. It's really an amazing one-shot. I love it so, so much.

I'm so sorry this review is so short - but, really, this is just amazing and gorgeous and beautiful and don't know that many more synonyms for 'beautiful' to use to describe this :P So yeah, that's why.

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura! ♥

Aw, thank you so much! I totally get what you mean which is why I sometimes feel that if all FF was written in French even Dramione would be something I would want to read as it just has this quality to make everything almost sparkling and beautiful if that makes sense. :P

Aw, thank you! I feel as if I should be against it as a big Scorose but sometimes it's too much fun to ship things like this so you have to forget about your OTP. :P I'm so glad that you did like them together, as I imagine them both being quite vain, prone to being dramatic and having intense relation which is what they're both very good and very bad for one another. :P

I'm glad that you liked the two of them because I feel as if a lot of my characters are always leaning to the good side of the spectrum of things, so it was fun writing these two as it was bit more confused here. I know, I think with Victoire she has to be certain before she declares anything and she doesn't want to lie about her feelings as that's an ultimate crime in her mind, hence why she side-steps it for most of this story. Whereas Scorpius's is so passionate about her he needs to know so he knows how much to commit, hence why they would never work out.

Aw, thank you! I thought about writing more about their backstory and how they got together but I thought it might be more fun to let the reader play with their imagination and decide for themselves. Hmm, I think the question of whether Victoire loves him or not is something she doesn't even know the answer too. :P I'm so glad that you liked it though as I was worried that it might be a little too sparse on the details.

Aw, thank you so much! ♥ I definitely had a lot of fun writing this because I think the mix of the sea and French made me very inspired and I felt braver to venture away from how I usually write.

Aw thank you so much, Laura! ♥

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #46, by AphorideBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

29th March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry about the delay - did my wrist in a couple of days ago, so I've spent the last two with it strapped up, which makes it really difficult to type :/ Anyway, I'm here now!

I've always wanted to see a story about the Longbottoms - there's something so horrifying and so awful about what happened to them that I kinda want to know about about it and them in general, you know? Like they're surprisingly interesting characters for people who barely show up in the books :P But then I do have a soft spot for minor characters... which meant that, really, when you asked me to look at this, how could I possibly resist? :P

I love how you've characterised them too - with Frank and Alice being almost a stereotypical kinda successful couple, with their careers and their children, and having almost a picture-perfect life, with the dinner and so on in the evening, only for that all to be destroyed. It makes it so heartbreaking, you know, because the little details in this really make them come alive - how proud Frank is of Benjamin, how Alice nearly gives up when she sees Benjamin killed, the fact that Alice is in slippers when the attack comes, and Frank tries to escape and perhaps would have if Benjamin hadn't been killed when he was.

The plot of this is so great, too - I love how sudden the attack is, and how it's almost calm at the beginning until Bellatrix gets into her stride. Then it's pretty terrifying. I loved the mention of Benjamin trying to defend his parents, not really knowing how and paying the price for it. Poor little guy - he just wanted to help :( I'm so curious to see where you're going to go after this with their story - how you're going to deal with them being broken and then in hospital and not recognising Neville and so on... and I just love that you've chosen this part of their lives to focus on. It's so, so sad, but so great, too.

Your writing in this is gorgeous, too. I love the way you describe things - especially the food at the beginning and Alice, too. It's so so lovely. Your dialogue too is amazing - and the details you include in this, particularly in the later section really just bring this whole thing alive, and let all the emotions in this just sort of sing almost. Like, there's so much feeling in this and your writing really lets that come to the front, which is so gorgeous, and so devastating too! ;)

This really is a lovely, lovely story - everything about this is so great! Thank you so much for the swap, and again I'm sorry this is so late! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph,

Don't worry about the timing. I figured you would get here eventually. Hopefully, your wrist is feeling better!

The Longbottoms are probably my favorite family in the entire HP universe! I love a good tragedy, so I think that has something to do with it. I've really been wanting to write about them for a long time, so it was exciting to finally get to it.

Benjamin was the hardest part of this story for me. In all honesty, I really wanted to write an AU where he survives and grows up alongside Neville, but it just wouldn't be right. He was the first OC I've ever written, so it definitely felt pretty personal killing him.

I'm so happy to hear that you think my writing is gorgeous. That really means a lot to me because I really admire your writing abilities.

Thank you so much for this lovely review!

~Kaitlin



 Report Review

Review #47, by AphorideInanimate Objects: where he tried to defuse the situation and failed utterly

25th March 2015:
Hey there, Emily! :) Stopping by for our review swap - because, really, where else could I possibly go seeing the summary for this? :P

So, first of all, I should say that I love love love the concept of this. HP mixed with Beauty and the Beast? Um yes. With added humour and less overly-stereotypical romance? Definitely, yes. With Death Eaters as the characters? Omigosh, so much yes :P (And Dumbledore as the witch/wizard character? Haha, so brilliant! :P)

I love how you tied in Voldemort's appearance, too, with his snake-like Voldemort features being the Beast to Tom's beautiful, arrogant Prince :P It's such a neat version of it, and I love how Lucius is the candelabra. It suits him so, so well! Though I can't help but wonder who's going to be the clock? And does that make Rookwood Mrs Potts? :P :P Omigosh, I hope so, that's hilarious! :) (And Nott is the little teacup? :P)

Ah, I'm getting too invested in this already, and it's barely started! :P I just wanna know what happens now! You'll have to write the next chapter soon - I can bug you about it in the cabin, after all ;)

I love the way you've characterised them all. It's a humour/AU fic, but you've still retained their roles and a lot of their characteristics from canon - Tom's arrogance and haughtiness, the way the Death Eaters effectively are his servents (though it's literal here), the way Lucius Malfoy sort of scrapes and fawns before him, the mention of Rookwood and the other Death Eaters torturing... it was just all so, so good and so well placed that it didn't feel out of place or weird in this new world you've created, but it was similar enough to the HP canon world that it kept it linked, you know? It's a perfect balance between familiar and not :)

I've kinda mentioned this above, but the plot and setting of this is brilliant. I'm so excited to see you explore more of this world and for us to learn more about it - and about Belle, of course! ;) And Gaston! And well, pretty much all of the other characters!

Your writing in this is so good, too. I think it's easier to slip on quality of writing in humour because of the effort spent on making things funny, if that makes sense, but this is so lovely! Your description is so brilliant, every word is exactly right, and your dialogue is amazing. (Can you teach me how you dialogue? Pretty please? :P)

I'm going to have to leave it here because my wrist has been playing up all through this (sorry - blame the weather! ;)), but I love this and I'm totally stalking this from now on! ;)

Favouriting! :)

Aph xx

p.s. ooh, guesses for Belle... um, is it bad that I kinda want it to be Bellatrix? :P Nah, um, Harry or Ginny, maybe? Myrtle? :/ I think maybe Hermione, since she probably fits the character of Belle best, but I don't know - this is too hard! :P

 Report Review

Review #48, by AphorideVictoire: The Guard

25th March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so wow. This is a brilliant opening - from the hook at the start of it, with Azkaban and Greyback and Lucius Malfoy, to the ending with Victoire and Teddy and their lovely moment, and then Izzy and the screaming. It's so pacey and dramatic and ugh. So good! :)

I'm a huge fan of mystery/dark kinda things, so I was pretty much always going to enjoy this, you know, but this is so so good. I love how you've set it up and dropped us in right at the very heart of the action at the beginning, rather than leading up to things. It makes this start off with a jolt, you know, and with a certain amount of pace to it, and makes me wonder about things from the start.

Plus, it's confusing as anything, but in a good way! :P

I love Cormac's voice in it - how he's grown up almost to be the better man, in a way, in the sense that he's not the one giving him the rubbish jobs because he doesn't like him (Harry and Ron) - and, conversely, I liked how Harry and Ron through his eyes aren't infallible. They're all such human characters, and I love it. There's something about Cormac's situation, stranded on guard duty at Azkaban for weeks on end because he once fancied Hermione, which is so sad and petty, and it's so easy to sympathise with him. Which is something I never really thought I'd say, haha!

Victoire is such an interesting character, too - I love how she sees the article and she knows what it'll mean to Teddy (and what it means to her too, ofc, but her thought is to show it to Teddy), and she's so sympathetic to him and how he feels about it. She's such a lovely character, and I like how she's a 'Claw too (of course! :P), because it also adds a different dimension to her other than that of 'standard Weasley', you know? I'm so so curious to see how all your characters - Cormac and Victoire and the rest, even the mad Death Eaters - expand throughout this.

Your writing in this is so gorgeous, too. Your descriptions at the beginning are so, so good - and your dialogue, when it appears (and don't worry, I'm a huge fan of minimalist dialogue myself ;)), is so on-point for the characters. Like, Lucius Malfoy sounds like Lucius Malfoy, you know? I especially loved your descriptions of Azkaban, and the repetition with the colour changing charms :) So lovely!

That cliffhanger at the end with the scream... O.o WAIT. OH MY GOD. Wasn't a kid called Montgomery killed by Greyback in the books? Or am I making that up? O.o I don't know, but I think so... oh my god, maybe it's to do with that?

Ah, I'm so curious :P We'll have to swap again, or I'll have to come back next week when I have spare time, just to find out if I'm right ;)

Favouriting :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Oh my gosh this is pretty much a dream review - I'm so so glad you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for all your kind words!

While I hate Cormac in the books, I'm a big believer that every character is the protagonist in their own story and I figured he probably had his own thoughts about everything that went down in HBP. He's a massive pain but he never actually did anything evil, and I enjoyed exploring him a bit more here. I'm glad you liked him.

My other WIP is about Gryffindors and Slytherins so I decided to make this one about Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and I'm loving it. I figured Fleur must have been pretty smart to be a Triwizard Champion, and don't really buy into the idea that every single Weasley child would end up in Gryffindor, so Victoire in Ravenclaw kind of made sense. Thank you for being so lovely about her character!

And your comment about minimalist dialogue made me smile - in my other WIP dialogue is EVERYWHERE, so this is a big change in style and it's always interesting to hear what people think of it. It's such a relief to hear it works!

I'm happy to review swap any time, just drop me a message or mention you're here to swap in your review. I loved your story so am keen to swap again :)

Thanks for such a kind, thoughtful review, and thanks for the favourite!

Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #49, by AphorideLife As We Know It: chapter one

22nd March 2015:
Hey there, Erica! :) First of all, thank you so so much for the swap, it was amazing! And secondly, I should warn you, I'm not a huge Dramione fan, if I'm honest, and I haven't read any Dramione in years, but I've heard good things about yours before, so I'm sure it'll be good ;)

I love how you've set this during the sixth year, when Ron was with Lavender - it gets Ron out of the way, so to speak, for Hermione and Draco to get together, without anything horrible happening. It's such a great way of dealing with it - so much better than other ways people find, the more cliche ways.

I love as well how you've characterised Hermione - how she's so infatuated with Ron and has been for so long, and was almost half-convinced something was going to happen, only for him to then go off with Lavender instead. It's such a sad moment, you know, because it's such a real thing, so true to life and I'm sure most people have experienced something like it, even if not to that extent. I know I have. So sad - poor Hermione! :(

I love as well how you've characterised Ron - how you've very carefully avoided the stereotypical jerk!Ron presentation (which I'm so so glad for, because, tbh, I can't stand stories which do that with Ron, whatever era they're set in!), and how he almost goes over to her, how his eyes soften and then he goes back - it sort of seems to me that he doesn't really know what to do, you know? Which really just makes it all the more sad. Like, it gives this beautiful feeling of a wedge between them and sort of growing, even if neither of them - especially Ron - necessarily understands why it's there, you know?

Also, I just have to mention that I love how biased Hermione's pov is on Lavender. It's perfect, you know, because it shows this lovely, harsh, unforgiving side of Hermione a lot of people often forget, and unreliable narrators, or snippets of it, are always so so good and I love reading them.

Your Lavender is so great, too - pretty much exactly as she is in canon - a bit flighty and giggly and girly and the little mention of the Diviniation thing just rounded it all off so so well :P

Your writing in this was so so good, too - I loved the way the voice actually sounded like Hermione, you know, and was so reminiscent of her in canon. I loved how you had the 'books and cleverness' phrase into it, too - I don't know if it was intentional or not, but either way it was so good! Your description is so lovely, too - especially the bits where you talk about Hermione's feelings, and the phsysical bits, with the expressions and the actions. It's such simple stuff, but it's so evocative and so realistic, and paints the image of it all so, so well.

The whole bit with Draco hiding in the corners was so well done, too - I was so curious about who it was (well, tbh, I guessed, but you always wait for the reveal, you know? :P) and what was going to happen when she found out, and I loved how he seemed to have enjoyed watching her get so upset. It's such a Draco reaction!

This was such a brilliant opening, so true to all of the characters, and I loved the cliffhanger at the end as well - so cheeky ;) I'm so sorry this review probably doesn't match up to the one you left me, but, really, I can't find any more ways to say 'I really liked this' :P

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #50, by Aphoridemisguided ghosts: veni.

22nd March 2015:
Hey Joey! :) Stopping by for our review swap again, haha. And so the endless cycle of reviewing continues :P

Can I just say first off that I love so many elements you have in this? I love Healer!Rose, and gay!James II (if I'm honest, I prefer James II being gay and not like James I than anything else... it's just, gah, I can never resist subverting stereotypes in that way, and if most people make Al gay, then imma have me a gay/bi!James instead :P), and of course Scorp/Lysander! ;)

Anyway, moving on from that... stuff, haha, I love the way you've written Rose in this. She's just so so good. I love how she's so affected by what's happened to Ron and Willow and how she's so passionate, really, about the idea of helping, but at the same time realistic and knows it's going to be difficult to get approval for it and so get people at St Mungo's involved - but then, she's so strong at the end when she decides she's going to do it on her own. She's just such a great mix of Ron and Hermione in this, in a way which makes her totally herself, and I love it! :)

Plus, I totally agree with her about the situation - it's ridiculous! Mental health and all that jazz is one of those things which is so fascinating to think about in terms of the wizarding world and their approach, because there are so many different ways to take it. Would they be about the same, better or worse? What kind of treatments would they give? Would they even know about the same kinds of illnesses/understand them in the same way? So I'm so so excited to see you tackling this, and I love how you've taken it down the less sympathetic route - her boss sounds so rude and condescending! His opinions sound all very Death Eater-ish tbh, haha.

On that note, I love how you've had Ron struggle with it. Ron has always been, imo, the most mentally 'weak', for lack of a better word, of the three of them - the most easily influenced by things which prey on his weaknesses, the one with perhaps the traits which can lead most easily to things like ptsd, depression and anxiety, and so on. It's incredibly sad to think of, but it's a really heart-breakingly realistic portrayal of him.

(Character-wise, I don't think I need to tell you I love your Scorp and Lys and Al and Destiny? They're all awesome and you know it :P)

Your writing in this is so great, too! I know I keep saying this, but really, it's true each time, I can't help it! :P I love how you described Ron and the issues he faced and how life worked in their house - not talking about it, Hermione's brave face, almost, and so on. It was such a beautiful, real description of it, and so thoughtful, too, which I loved! As always, your dialogue is brilliant - so smooth and good and casual and ugh, I'm so jealous!

This is such a good start - I love it to pieces, and, well, I think I'm going to have to favourite this so I don't miss updates... you're making me expand my favourites page more than I'm used to you know. It's entirely your fault! ;)

(Also, I'm really, really hoping this is three chapters long in total and the chapter names will be veni vidi vici - just coz that would be awesome :P)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!! We really do so many swaps :P

I've been building up to this for a really long time. I was slyly introducing characters and plot points through one-shots for months leading up to this story. Hopefully this works as sort of a culmination of (this era of) this universe. I love bi!James here. He's incredibly fun to write, although he doesn't show up much.

I've had a really clear picture of this Rose long before I actually wrote her. Passionate is definitely a word you can use to describe her. Writing her has been such a treat.

I've made the Wizarding world about as bad about mental health as possible here honestly. And Healer Adams is a really straightforward, horrible villain. He's kind of Healer!Umbridge in that sense. I probably haven't hated any of my characters as much as him.

I certainly thought that Ron would be the most likely to have issues following the war. I think it was the way the locket affected him that made me decide to have it be him. I didn't plan to start this story as sad as I did, but that's just what I started writing when I sat down and typed.

I have way too much fun with my Scorpius/Lysander/Al/Destiny quartet. I'm not sure I ever want to stop writing them.

I'm glad the writing worked here! Especially the dialogue, because I pride myself on that :P I write dialogue so quickly compared to the rest. I just need an idea of the conversation and then I just go wherever it takes me.

I am so flattered that you favorited! ♥ Also, it totally is three chapters titled veni vidi vici. And it's thematically significant!!

Thank you for this wonderful review :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>