Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
534 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AphorideLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: An Unexpected Visitor

28th November 2015:
Hey there, Molly! :) Dropping by for our review swap - sorry this is a bit late; my laptop decided it had had enough of me putting off Windows 10, so I was somewhat forced into downloading it :P So yeah, that's why this is later than planned - anyway, I'm here now! :D

And first off - YES YES YES YES they're together again, and happy again! It took long enough ;) But nah, I like that they had all the teenage angst about everything beforehand - it made the reconciliation so much better! Plus, it's just way more realistic, you know, especially for teenagers :P I loved the way they made up so easily - almost like everything else was kinda forgotten, and how Scorpius' parents conveniently left them alone :P

Speaking of Scorpius' parents, I really love how you showed Draco and Astoria adapting so well to Scorpius and Albus being together - I think sometimes it does take something severe, like the attack on Scorpius, to make people realise how insignificant some things really are, and Draco did always, to me at least, seem like someone who would really care about his family, in the end, despite what it may seem like on the surface.

Your writing in this was lovely - I loved the introspective bits from Scorpius' pov, and all the emotions when he saw Albus again and realised his parents had delibertately engineered things to leave them alone for a long while :P As always your dialogue is amazing - you really have a knack for the voices all the characters have, making them so separate from each other and so distinctive :)

I'm so excited and curious to see where you go from this point, now they're happy and back together - to see if Scorpius ends up getting targeted again by the bullies, or what happens to them with their punishments and so on. You've left it at a really nice point, so I'm slightly worried it's all going to go south again :P

Gah, I loved it, as usual! :)

Aph xx

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Review #2, by AphorideThe Two of Us: Tension

20th November 2015:
Hey there, Gabbie - dropping by for our review swap! :)

So, I'm a huge sucker for George/Angelina - I dunno, I just love them for some unexplained reason, haha - and I'm always amazed by anyone who can write the Weasleys twins, so I was so glad you asked me to stop by on this one :)

Seriously, I'm so impressed with how well you write the twins. They're such intimidating characters, to me, haha, because they're so funny and so fully-formed in the books that I just don't think I could do them justice, you know, but you do them so well here. I love how you get the whole twin relationship thing into it, too, how they look so similar but have different personalities and temperaments and things - as an older sister to twins (non-identical, though) I'm always hyperaware of those kinds of things! :P

Your writing is so lovely, too - it's so evocative, you know, with so many strong words and ways of portraying things, especially emotions - which works so well in something like this when you're describing arguments and feelings and inner conflict and things. I love your dialogue especially, it's so clean and so good and so reminiscent of the characters in canon, too, which I love so much.

The only thing I'd say is that you tend to start dialogue in the middle of paragraphs a lot. Dialogue should always start on a new line, unless Person A is still speaking. Even then, sometimes that should be broken. I'm sorry, I'm not the best at explaining this things, but maybe ask someone to show you? (Or hopefully my attempt at an explanation makes sense :P)

Anyway, this is a really great start - I love how it starts in the canon moment, and after the whole Fred-asking-Angelina to the ball thing. It's a moment which we really don't see anything of in canon, and I love that you're using that to expand into this, and I'm so curious to see what happens next - what exactly Fred's told Angelina, and how this all resolves itself :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a thousand times for this awesome review and I'm so sorry for just now answering this! I have been ridiculously busy lately and I haven't been really dedicated to answering my reviews and such.

I'm happy that you're a George/Angelina shipper! I really love this pairing and I have a few more stories with them if you were ever curious to check them out!

I have a little experience with writing the twins and they're really hard to balance out. I don't think that they should be written as being exactly alike because it kind of implies that they're not their own person. I can see what it's tempting of course but I never wanted to go that route.

I'm happy that their dialogue and interactions were great though because I was worried about that the most. I struggle with dialogue quite a bit and there were a few things that still bug me, especially about the formatting of them.

I wasn't really sure where to start this first but I wanted to play on the Yule Ball scene because you could actually build a whole story around it. The whole Fred/George/Angelina thing is something that I love playing around with and I hope you come back for the next chapter!

Lots of drama will happen!

Much love,


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Review #3, by AphorideThe Next Great Adventure: Happenings

20th November 2015:
Hey there, Kaitlin! :) So glad to be stopping back on this again - it's such a fascinating interpretation of the afterlife and what happens, and your cast is really, really unique (I've only ever seen one other story with Dobby as a main character).

I really like how you started this with Dobby - I'm so excited that he's a pov character! :D - and how he's sitting there feeling so out of place. It's so harsh, but it's so true for Dobby - and for house-elves in general, I think - and it really adds to the tension too, to have the room so split and Dobby almost like an observer, just watching them all in their little factions.

I love the way you've characterised everyone in this - how Sirius is still kinda back to perhaps more of his pre-Azkaban state but still so reckless and excited and energetic and desperate for adventure and to protect Harry in equal measure. How Molly still thinks of Harry as so young, and doesn't quite trust Sirius (which, to be fair, I think she has a point in that!) with something important, and how they needle each other so easily still. Gah, it really shows where the tension in the room at the beginning comes from, you know? At least, partially. But it's so good - and so realistic, from canon, too.

The only thing I'd say character-wise is that I'm just super confused why Lily - who gave her life to save Harry originally - doesn't want to go and meet him. Like, I'd have thought she'd be right up there with James demanding to go, not sitting back and being quiet, you know? Ofc, it may well just be different interpretations of a character, in which case it's cool, but I just thought I'd mention it :)

I really like your writing in this, too. Your dialogue just amazes me - it's always so on-point for every character, and the voices are so individual. Like, I struggle so much with the Weasleys because its always seemed to me to be such distinctive voices they have and yet you write them so easily, it seems. How?! Share your secrets! :P

I'm so so curious to see where you go with this, with the tasks and everything, and how Harry and Dobby's relationship is and how that progresses through the story, too. Ah, so many exciting things to come! :)

Aph xx

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Review #4, by AphorideAll Right, Jinx: Fowl Art

20th November 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) Okay, first off, I've got to say that I adore Jeeves & Wooster - I've seen the tv series more times than I can count - so I was so so happy when I read the beginning and realised what it was.

Admittedly, it took me a paragraph or two to realise, but then that's what I get for not looking too much at the summary and things, tbh :P But, I gotta say, I'm super impressed with how you did with copying the style, and capturing the era too - as well as the whole upstairs-downstairs dynamic, and how odd the friendship aspect of Jinx and Ariel's relationship is.

First things first, though - the style is just perfect. The whole way you write this is just perfect, especially for this story, set in this era. You manage to capture so much of Wodehouse's voice in this, while still making it your own, which is pretty incredible. Not to mention I love all the little slang things you get in there - what ho and things :P - and how the voice just fits the character of Ariel so well.

Your characters are amazing, too - I love the way you've taken Jeeves & Wooster and changed them into Jinx and Ariel. Like the writing, they're noticeably parallel to J & W, but they're still so separate and there are so many differences in it. I love how Ariel is so intent on having something mauve, haha, poor man, and Jinx is just absolutely stubborn in refusing to let him :P I'm so excited to see where you take these characters - if you keep them on parallel lines to J & W, or if you take them off their own way from this point :)

I love as well how you've adapted the era from J & W into the wizarding world, with Jinx being a house-elf rather than a valet, and with Muggles being a problem for purebloods - and the robes and sudden arrival via Floo. It's just so clever and the way you included them all in - I almost forgot that it was meant to be set in the wizarding world, haha, because it was just so fluid, you know? :)

Anyway, basically, I loved this. I'm favouriting and imma be back ;)

Aph xx

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Review #5, by AphorideOnce More: Once More

15th November 2015:
Hey there, Andrew, dropping by for the BvB Battle! :) So I really wanted to stop on this, because I always love reading people's entries for the Sink Your Ship challenge - there's something so beautiful and so sad about the whole idea of it, you know? And all the results are so varied and fascinating, too - so yeah, I had to stop on this, and I hope you don't mind! :)

First off, I'm really, really impressed with how you combined so many challenges into one story - it looks crazy, but it works so, so well. I especially love the way you've split Rose/Scorpius up (though, I dunno, they weren't quite so split, if they were never together - but I liked that, you know, there wasn't a relationship there, but feelings on his part - it made it much more interesting than the usual love triangle stories) in order for Albus/Scorpius to get together. There was something so sweet about Scorpius' discovery of his feelings, and something so brave about how he admitted them. Though I guess near-death experiences can do that to a person :P

I loved the way you characterised them all - though I'd have liked to see more the Rose/Scorpius interaction. I know most of the story isn't about them, but still it would have been nice to feel the break when they ended a bit more, you know? Albus' string of girls made me laugh, though I loved how easily they seemed to fall into a relationship and how easily they both accepted their, essentially, new-found sexualities, and how Scorpius was so afraid at the beginning - they're all such great emotions and you wrote them so well and so clearly, they came through beautifully :)

Your writing in this was lovely - you have a very lyrical, old-fashioned style of writing which I love - it reminds me a bit of Jane Austen's style with some of the word choices and things. Your description is great, too - the scene with the dragon was amazing! The only thing I'd say is you tend to use 'the' a lot to start sentences, especially in the same paragraph and it can get jarring. Maybe try changing it up a bit? But really, it's a small thing - your dialogue and everything is so good and so well done, it's really great.

Gah, I'm so sad about what you did to your characters - did you have to do that in the end? Really? Really?! You couldn't let them be happy, no :P Nah, but there was something sort of tragic about them all the way through which I loved, and I don't think a happy ending would really have worked half as well :)

This is a lovely, lovely one-shot :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. After the initial flurry of attention the interest in this story died down so it has been interesting to revisit it with your fantastic review.

It was funny, I had the initial idea for the story based upon one of the challenges, then as I was hunting around the other challenges served to refine my idea; rather than limiting me, the restraints imposed by meeting the requirements of the other challenges was liberating.

Yes I know that they are not properly together, but that's the whole thing about a romance - the build up. In most romances the pair do not get together till the end; there is a lot of build up, a lot of too-and-fro that happens for ages before they can be together. That's what the two of them have and they just might be on the verge of something more, but then Rose - ever a victim of inertia in her ways of thinking - engages her mouth before her brain and it is all just gone in one instant of nastiness. So I know you said you would have liked to see more of the Rose/Scorpius interaction, but it is just the same sort of stuff that happens in a lot of Scoroses. Though I must say, that I do have an idea for an epilogue ...

Thank you for all the praise of how I wrote the burgeoning feelings of Scorpius, and to some extent Albus (though not as strictly delineated as the former). I realised that the time frame of the short story was a bit of a rush to have the feelings develop so fully, but I hope that my attempt to show that the feelings had been there all the time worked - they had just been buried under the surface and outdated notions of propriety.

I know I have such an old fashioned way of writing; I cannot help it, it's just the way that I write. I usually hope that it is not too jarring for a modern audience, so to have it described as a merit instead is wondrous. I thank you so much.

This story was largely unbetan, so errors like you have mentioned have crept in. I shall see about my over-use of 'the' and go back and try to correct them.

It was for an angst challenge after all and as I noted, if I had to sink my own ship, then every boat in the harbor was going to go down with them. Yes there was something tragic and doomed about them right from the start. That the two of them had subsumed their feelings for each other under different veneers: one under a love for a girl who would probably never love him back; and the other in a string of girlfriends, to somehow justify what his sexuality should be to himself.

Thanks for the review, that is the good thing about the BvB - it does so prompt one to review people that one has meant to.

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Review #6, by AphorideLet Perpetual Light: Symbols and Stories

14th November 2015:
NICOLE - I did say I'd be back soon! :P Got the chance to stop by again, so I'm not going to waste it! :) I've meant to catch up on this story for so long, so it's way beyond time! :D

This chapter... omigosh, where to start?! I love the letter from Gellert at the beginning. There's something wonderfully bitter and disdainful about it - and there's this beautiful way you have of writing it where his mind wanders so much, and goes off these little tangents, and at the same time it all feels half calculated, like he's deliberately trying to get a rise out of Albus, or get some kind of response. The last line - p.s. - was so strangely chilling. Gah, you're not going to break my heart with who killed Ariana, are you? Probably - I know you... ;) Wah, but I love the fact that you include it like another taunt - a little, final message just in case Albus has read it and isn't already annoyed :P

That story... Gellert's version of the three brothers tale - well, not quite his version, as such, but you know what I mean ;) - was so haunting, and so beautiful. I love the way you wrote it - it was so gorgeous and yet so obviously recognisable as a fairytale-style story - and how you incorporated the elements of the hallows into another tale, but one which is drastically different. I'd never have thought of that before, and I've never seen it before, but I love it! It's such a clever, unique idea - I'm almost jealous I didn't think of it first :P

Speaking of that, I love how Gellert's reason for telling it to Albus is that Albus likes stories - it's pretty manipulative, but so simple, and perhaps all the more powerful because it's simple, you know? Also, I love how it portrays Gellert definitely as appearing harmless, when he's so very obviously not, as we know, with the whole 'juvenile delinquent' aspect of it.

Also, dat duel, man. I know it was only playing, really, for both of them, but I loved how they end up being so evenly matched - it's a kind of jolting result after kinda knowing from HP that they're so evenly matched, and then Gellert mentioning in his letter that he surrendered after twenty minutes. It sort of comes full circle, almost, in a way, I guess, which I love - I have a strange fondness for circular motifs :P

I really, really love how malicious and powerful and unstable your Ariana is. There's something both frail and yet completely dangerous about her, and it's a brilliant combination. I also, as I think I've mentioned before?, love how you've turned her into more than just a damanged little girl. It's, again, like almost everything about this story, such a unique take on her, and it's so amazing, and so well-crafted it's incredible.

I love the little childish moments with Gellert and Albus dotted throughout this, intersperced with those moments where they appear so much older than they are - when Gellert steals the greengages simply because they're sweeter and he can, where they end up running through the rain together and when they're coming up the path and Ariana's watching them, like they've been friends forever, almost. It's sweet, which is almost a strange - but lovely - thing in this story, with all the tension around it :P (But they're still adorable! :P)

That ending, as well, with that last line... wow. It really vamps up the tension again, makes it feel as though the battlelines have already been drawn, so to speak - almost like this is the point from which nothing can go back. Gah, you're waaay way too good at this mood-setting stuff :P

Loved. It. As you know ;)

Aph xx

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Review #7, by AphorideLet Perpetual Light: At The Churchyard Again

14th November 2015:
NICOLE! :D :D :D It's been far, far too long since I stopped by this story - and so, so regrettable that I haven't actually reviewed much of it at all (though I've read all of it so often!) so I'm stopping by to change that as much as I can tonight! :)

You know how much I love this story - or you should do, at any rate ;) - but I can't help but say it every time I stop by this, because, really, it is amazing. It's just... so entirely complete, you know? Like, an entire world in this story, it makes me forget that the world its in is JKR's because you've just taken it and made it your own so well, and so completely, and it's so, so good.

Also, there's this lovely sense of tension through the whole thing, which just puts me on edge and makes me wait for the unexpected - it's this lovely kind of mysterious quality which I can't quite describe, let alone even have any idea how to reproduce. It's an amazing skill you have, seriously! Your writing just really brings it to life - especially in that scene where Gellert and Aberforth fight, and Gellert steals his wand. The confusion you generate with that and then Gellert returning the wand and looking chastened is so clever and so mysterious - I really wanna know exactly what happened with that and why... but it's not necessary, you know? And it's just adding yet another layer to this, and it's so lovely! :)

I love your Gellert - the little tinges of violence, hints of madness and of danger with him, just beneath the surface. Though it kinda runs through all of them, though - the little strange moments with Ariana, just how unhinged she seems, in a way and at times; how frustrated and restless Albus seems, and how Aberforth seems to keep threatening to boil over. It's so very teenage in its way, you know? Like, the characters are so obviously young, but then the writing is somehow such high quality and so beautifully intricate, and I love how you've married the two together.

I love as well, how easily Albus' mood is lightened by meeting Gellert - there's something so telling about it, even though character-wise, he doesn't know, but we do - and how sceptical he is at the beginning about the tale of the three brothers and how it connects to the Hallows.

As always, your writing is just stunning. Seriously. I know I keep saying this, but tbh, I don't think it's ever going to get old or useless or worn out, so... ;) imma keep going :P Every wood seems so perfectly chosen in all of your stories, and the style you bring to them, the feel and everything, is just perfect for each one. I really, really don't know how you do it - but you're just so flawless, and it blows my mind each time! :)

Okay, so I already know what happens next (bad Aph... :P), but I love the sense of curiosity you give each chapter end - it's not quite a cliffhanger, as such, but I still want to read on so so much! I remember reading it for the first time and being so, so incredibly excited and curious and almost desperate to see what happens next, how Albus and Gellert and Aberforth and Ariana grow as characters, and how the relationships between them all develop.

This is a perfect, perfect story and I'm so sorry I wasn't back before now! Love it; as always! :)

Aph xx

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Review #8, by AphorideThe memories in your biscuits: The memories in your biscuits

14th November 2015:
Hey there, Chiara! :) Dropping by for our review swap! Sorry it's a bit late - got swamped with uni work in the last couple of days, unfortunately, but I'm here now! :D

I really love this one-shot - how it goes so deep into McGonagall's psyche and her friendships with so many other people, all revolving around the biscuits and this kind of chain of links from section to section - which I loved so much! It's such a clever idea to connect them all with the overarching thread of the biscuits and the emotions and things through it.

Your characterisation of Minerva is so great, as are all the other characters. It's such subtle, great, canon-exact characterisation, and it's so amazing. I'm so impressed - Minerva is one of the hardest characters to do, imo; the idea of writing her terrifies me! :) All of the others were equally great - I loved how you didn't always mention their names, but we still knew who they were - it's a real skill to do! ;)

Your writing is so lovely in this, too - so clear and so powerful and evocative. Your description is so, so good - seriously, it just paints pictures. It's so great! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I'm so glad I got a chance to read this! :) Sorry again for the lateness!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!
Thank you so much for the swap (and no worries about the lateness!)

Oh, wow! So glad you enjoyed the story, and how the biscuits' theme linked all scenes together! A lot of people found the jumps in time confusing, so I'm glad you liked the structure!

I would never have dared writing Minerva if it wasn't for the prompt I received for the challenge. I was so thrilled because it was about Remus, and he his my absolute favourite character! But instead of focusing on him, my muse came up with this... Not sure how it happened...

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the characterization, and that all characters felt recognizable and spot-on, even when I didn't explicitly nominate them!

And thank you so much for your positive comments on my writing and description, too! Description is something I really struggle with, but I think I've really matured in that aspect (HPFF is a great place to improve oueselves). Anyway, thank you so much! It's such a huge compliment for me, especially coming from someone as talented as you are!

Thanks to you for swapping and for this absolutely amazing review!!! It really made my day!!!

All my love,

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Review #9, by AphorideSpirited Away: First Contact

14th November 2015:
Hey there, Gee - dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry it's a bit late - uni work kinda took over unexpectedly, but I'm here now! :D

This is such an enticing beginning - with the way it leaves us completely unsure of exactly what's happened - how she's got there, what kind of world she's arrived in, how she'll get home, what obstacles she'll encounter, and whether her appearance will mess things up there or not. I love the mystery you've put into it - it's so good! :)

The way you characterise Hermione (the original one, haha) is so good - I love the panic she has when she realises she's broken the Time Turner, and the curiosity and fear when she realises that she's paused and doesn't know what it does. They're such true emotions and they come through your writing so strongly.

Is it bad that I find the AU Snape just a little bit creepy? Like his whole Lockhart-esque personna kinda squicks me out with the way he talks to the kids, especially teenage girls :/ Although I kinda like that for his character, he doesn't lose the whole 'strange and creepy' part of his personality, if that makes sense?

The Snape/McGonagall bit made me laugh :P I know that's probably not your intention, but the idea of them in a relationship... wow! :P Kudos for going for such a rare pairing - it takes guts! ;)

Your writing in this is lovely, too - you convey the mood of it so perfectly, with the fear and the panic and everything. It's so, so lovely! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was great! - and sorry for being late, again! :)

Aph xx

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Review #10, by AphorideShenanigans and Hi-Jinks: Fruitless Research

8th November 2015:
Hey Branwen! :) Dropping by on this for BvB - I just had to stop back on this when I spotted you in it because I've missed this story, even though time to read and review has been short, so I'm taking this chance now ;)

So you know how much I love this story, but I think it says so much about how good you are as an author that even a chapter like this, where relatively (comparatively!) little happens in terms of plot and excitement, it still fills it out and I still love reading it. It's such a skill, to be able to make anything so interesting and engaging.

Also, though on the same lines, I love the characterisation you get through in this, and how it all develops - I love how Juliet is so easily excitable, and how we see more of Victoire's relationships with her friends and how they work. It's a lovely change from so much focus on Fred, and it really fills the story out so beautifully :) Plus, they're just such great characters - I love the differences in them all and how they're all so real - I know I've said this before, but it's true and it's something I always love :D

I'm so so curious with what's going on with the comb - the lack of information about it is seriously creepy, and makes the whole thing more creepy, you know, because there's just nothing... I'm so curious to know what she's going to do about it - if she is going to ask Goldstein and if she does what he's going to do/say about it. He doesn't seem like the type to just hand it over, without getting curious himself :P

I really, really, really want to read ahead - so you may see me back in a minute because I can't wait :P

This is an amazing story, as always! :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey, Laura! Thank you so much - I know that this was a little bit of an action-lite chapter, and I'm glad it came across well regardless. Some of this is dealt with in the next chapter, but I don't think she's going to be able to avoid asking Goldstein forever, because there's not a lot written about it. (And, of course, it's much more amusing to write about than a book entry.) Thank you so much for your review! ♥

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Review #11, by AphorideOne Last Rousing Speech: and the world was silent for a moment

6th November 2015:
Hey Joey, dropping by for our review swap! :D (And I gotta say quickly, that I'm so glad to see you back and writing - it was so strange not seeing you around on the forums, and I'm so terrible at remembering to check people's author's pages for new stuff, so I'm so glad I saw your status!)

Okay, so I really, really loved this. It seems pretty different to me to what you usually write - a different kind of tempo, and voice and things - but it really, really works so well! I really love in this how abstract the whole thing feels, you know, as though it's kinda watery and the pictures are fading quickly and stuff, because you don't linger much on each scene - especially with the whole 'ending' kinda theme/thing, it fits so well, and it just makes the whole thing feel so sad, you know, even without you doing anything else.

Also, I love how you don't mention any names in this. There's not really many clues as to who this is about - and it's so good, because it could be about anyone, almost, we can infer what we like into it, but there's still a story here, and still characters and development, and really how you've managed that I have no idea but it's amazing.

Ugh, the abstract in this... I know I'm kinda backtracking, but truthfully how abstract this is - that you tell a story without showing almost anything, without describing furniture or concrete scenes or hair colours and nothing at all with touch, almost, is just... it really does blow my mind. I've tried to do stuff this abstract and I just can't - it doesn't work for me - but for you it works perfectly. Seriously. The way you use description and metaphor and everything in this is incredible. All the little extended metaphors about paper and glass and musical instruments were so so good, and so clever - each one was picked so perfectly, and they just lifted the story off the page.

I love as well how after all of the explosive stuff at the beginning and middle, with the orchestra and the fighting, the relationship in this kinda dies with a whimper. Like, it just seems to end - I might have misread or misunderstood - but I love that it just sort of ends. You don't describe quite exactly how it ends or why or anything, you just say that it has. It really feels like a loss, you know, even in so few words and with comparatively few before to describe it.

This is so beautiful and solemn, and almost a lesson in how to write abstract and so much in so few words. Seriously, you should be super proud of this - I know I would be! :)

Aph xx

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Review #12, by AphorideTrapped: trapped

29th October 2015:
Hey there, dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so I'm a huge Black family fan, and I find Sirius so fascinating as a character, so stories about him are always pretty good ;)

I was so excited when I started reading this (which sounds strange, I know :P) because the whole idea of Azkaban and how it effects people - and how it effected Sirius - is something which is so fascinating to me, and I love seeing people's takes on it. I'd never thought to connect it to PTSD before, but it makes so much sense now that I'm almost wondering why I never thought of it before :P

Your Sirius is so great in this! I love all the mentions to his friends - to the feeling of being trapped and the hatred and anger it brings up in him, the almost irrational thinking and desperate urge to get out. It's so realistic and so emotional, it's brilliant but also horrible because it really hits home, you know? It just really shows how bad things were for him and how difficult it was to be there, and it's so, so powerful.

Your writing is so lovely, too. You get all of the emotion out of this so well, and so strongly, too, without having to use cliches or overexaggerating anything. The language you use is so lovely, too - your description, gah. I loved the bit where you talked about the red of his room and the blood, and the connections there, they were stunning, and so visual, too.

(The only small thing I'd say is that it'd look better if the number 13 was written out - it kinda took me out of the story as it is? But it's kinda more of a stylistic thing, so... ;))

Gah, I feel like I've rambled a lot and not said very much, but the general jist is that I really, really enjoyed this. Well, enjoyed is the wrong word perhaps but you know what I mean ;) This is a great little story and I'm so glad I got a chance to read it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph! Thanks for swapping with me! Sorry for the late response.

I'm really glad that this story got you thinking about Azkaban/its effect on people in a new way. And compliments on the way I write Sirius are my absolute favourite compliments to receive, so thank you! ;)

I'm constantly worried about my descriptions and that I don't use them enough, so your comments about that mean a lot!

(You mean like "thirteen" instead of "13"? I can do that.)

No, you've said a lot of really nice stuff! I'm glad you (for lack of a better word) enjoyed this, and thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #13, by AphorideConstant Vigilance: Nymphadora

29th October 2015:
Hey Anja, stopping by for our review swap! :)

I'm sorry for stopping by this one - I would have done your top one, but it's super long (though it looked so interesting!) and it's late here and I'm super tired (blame uni!), so I'm here instead - sorry! *hides*

I really love this, though - even though it's a pairing I'd never have thought of before, let alone liked! - the way you write it is so simple and so lovely, you know? Like, you don't overload it with frills or with sappy dialogue or phrases or anything, it's just there, and the emotion comes through so perfectly. It's a real skill and you've just nailed it here - it made me smile so much, and that's not something I say very often about writing ;)

Your characterisation is so on point here. Tonks and Moody are two of those characters who intimidate me because their personalities and habits and things are made so clear in canon - but obviously they're not so scary for you, because you do them so well. I love all the little mentions of Tonks being clumsy, like when she thinks maybe she should have gone to work with dragons haha, and how she falls over in her flat. The little mentions of Charlie was gold, too! :)

Like I said above, your Moody is amazing. I love how you got the catchphrase in so cleverly, too - it's such a great line to end it on! And I really love how you didn't have to mention who either of them is in the actual text - like, no names - because we know without needing it.

Poor Tonks, though - Dawlish sounds like a terror to work with! :(

Ah, I'm so glad I read this - it's such a lovely little one-shot, and it's just so so good, you should be super proud of this if you're not already, coz you hit it out of the park on this one, imo ;)

Aph xx

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Review #14, by AphorideThe Next Great Adventure: Prologue: An Old Friend

29th October 2015:
Hey there, Kaitlin! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

So I haven't actually seen that many stories about a kind of afterlife thing, which I think yours will be from the summary, and none at all with Harry as the main character, so it's kinda already unique in that way ;)

I like how you start it with him in bed and him knowing that he's going to die - I think it fits in really well with him being the master of death, and all, that he knows, you know? It was such a gentle kind of acceptance that he had that it was time for him, and I thought it was interesting that he didn't think about any regrets or favoured/treasured memories which are usually the 'normal' kind of thing people include in scenes like that. It was a nice change, in that way.

Your Harry is so good in this, even though it's just a little glimpse. It's so lovely, and so impressive! :)

I'm so so curious to see what happens next after this, since this was just the prologue - how things go for Harry in the afterlife, what happens, and how Dobby ties into it.

This was a really well-written chapter, too - I loved the kind of peacefulness there was in it - and your descriptions/abstract section at the beginning of this was so lovely! :)

The little bit with Ginny joking about Harry lying in bed all day was so true to form :P Your characterisation is stellar for such short appearances (so far!)! :)

Aph xx

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Review #15, by AphorideThem: Them

26th October 2015:
Hey there, Gina! :) Dropping by for our review swap! :)

So I think this is the first thing of yours that I've read, which seems like such a shame now - you write so beautifully and I could have been reading your stuff for so much longer!

This was so, so good! It's just so delightfully creepy, and there's this whole sense of tension, like you're waiting for something, throughout the whole thing, which is so great, and just sort of amplifies the suspense from the short sentences and the storyline.

Ah, your characters are great. I loved how you tied them all into it - no one was random or out of place, even if they seemed like it at points (I did wonder what else James had to do with it at the beginning of the story when he sort of vanished for a while), and it just... gah, Albus was so well done. I loved the whole psychopathy element and how he's not safe, he's not cured, but he kinda thinks he is - even though perhaps he's not entirely sure? He and Soleil are just that perfect blend of out of control and yet in control, if that makes sense.

Your writing is gorgeous in this too. I'm not usually a fan of kinda stripped-down writing in this sense, but you pull it off so, so perfectly. Seriously - it's amazing! :) The style you've used is so right for this, and so clever, too - the way you've put the sections non-linear; it's so good! I'm always in awe of people who can do non-linear things because it's so so hard!

Ah, this is such a beautiful one-shot - though admittedly, incredibly creepy and twisted! I'm so so glad we swapped and I got a chance to read this! :)

Aph xx

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Review #16, by AphorideThe Way Out of the Maze: The Way Out of the Maze

25th October 2015:
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :)

This is a really lovely, really sad one-shot. I love how, though, there's this lovely thread of friendship and sibling companionship and so on throughout it all - it's not something you see very often in fic and I love that there's something of an emphasis on that in this :)

Speaking of that, the way you did Ariadne and Zach's relationship was so great, as well as their individual characterisations - they were both such rounded characters, and so different, too, and I loved how you showed us a different side to Zach, being a cheeky, happy kid - it was so great! :)

Your writing in this was so lovely, too - your descriptions are so beautiful and give this lovely, dreamy quality to the story, especially the beginning with Theseus, and how much Ariadne loved him. The emotion really seeped through so beautifully. I also really liked how the progression of their relationship was so natural, if terrifying, through the whole thing - none of it felt weird or strange for the people, you know? It fitted, and you could sort of see it evolving as the characters did. It was scary, but so well done.

Also, you dealt with the subject matter so well. It's such a heavy topic, and so difficult to do and do well, but you really did - it was solemn and heavy, and so happy in the beginning, but you did the change so well, and made it so clear that it was such a toxic situation to be in, but also that it's not always easy to get out of, which I also appreciated a lot.

This is a really, really great one-shot - you should be super proud of it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey, Aph!
Oh, wow! Thank you so much! *blushing*

I felt so unsure about the theme and the way I wrote it... so it's such a relief you felt I did it well! :)

The first idea for the story (creating a sister for Zach and of depicting him in a different light) came from Kristin, actually! In her piece she focuses on his character and on how the war affected him (and obviously on his love for Ari). You know... if you're interested in getting a look... :P

Anyway, it's great to hear that you felt their relationship and their individual characterizations were done well! :D They are pretty different, but really love each other! I love to write siblings, must be because I don't have any and I really wish I did...

I'm also glad you liked the description, because it's something I really struggle with! And the progression of Ariadne and Theseus' relationship as well! It is pretty terrifying...

Thank you so so so much for this absolutely amazing review!!! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed the story so much!!!

Lots of love, hugs and kisses!

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Review #17, by AphorideWords and Silence: Words and Silence

25th October 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so I'm going to say at the beginning that this doesn't exactly match up with my headcanon for Sirius, just to qualify things a bit ;)

But, that being said, I loved your take on it, how you dealt with the issues you gave Sirius in it - they were so tactfully done, you know? And I loved how it gave Sirius this kind of violent, dangerous, damaged side to him, as well as making him a lot more vulnerable than I've seen him before. It was a lovely combination of things, and such a fascinating character deconstruction, too :)

Your writing in this is so great, too - it's so clean and so fluid, which I love, and the way you jump about is something which is so hard to make flow, you know? And you do it so, so well. Your description was so lovely, too, especially the way you described Sirius' emotions - there was something so real and so true about it, and the way you wrote it gave the whole thing this heavy, solemn kind of feeling which is so right for it.

I really liked all of the details in this, too: things like how Regulus was so often described as hiding behind others, in shadows, how Snape seemed to be so snakelike and dangerous, how Remus was so scarred and the parallels you drew between them. It was so great, and so full, if that makes sense :P

This really is a lovely, lovely, admittedly heartbreaking, one-shot :)

Aph xx

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Review #18, by AphorideOnce Upon The Marauders: The Untold Story: Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

25th October 2015:
Hey, dropping by for our reviews swap! :)

I've got to say, I really like how you seem to be working through the Marauders' years, and starting at the very beginning, with glimpses of them all getting their letters/learning they could go to Hogwarts, is such a lovely thing to start with and really gives it this sense of anticipation for what happens later, you know?

I also really love how it sets up the individual familial situations, too - with the mentions of Lily wanting to include Petunia and Severus hating her already, and Remus' parents being so worried about him being a werewolf and assuming it would mean he couldn't be normal, almost. It's a really clever way to get it across! :)

(Though, I gotta say, I didn't think the letters came on people's 11th birthday - after all, Harry's first letter arrives before his 11th birthday in the first book? Though I could be wrong ;D)

Your writing is lovely, too - you had so many lovely little lines which brought each scene to life, and the way you made each snippet so distinctive too was so good! :) The only thing I'd say maybe to change is where you say 'sometime on Peter's birthday' which just... it really threw me out of the story and seems a bit weird. Especially when all the others had birthdates. If that makes sense?

This is such a great start, though, and your characterisation of them all is so lovely! :) Thank you so so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Aph!

Thank you for the swap! I'm glad you liked it. Yes I did go back and read up on what you said, there seemed to be mixed respenses. I mean Harry got his letter before his 11th birthday, but JKR mentioned somewhere in an interview that they recieve it when they turn 11. But as you suggested, I decided to remove the dates and that line at Peter's part as well.

Thank you for heading over and giving your input!

Much Love

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Review #19, by AphorideKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Writing Speeches and Carrying On

17th September 2015:
Hey J! :D I was so excited to see you in the BvB when I had a spare minute (going back to uni is surprisingly busy!), since I've missed this story - it's so so brilliantly unique and funny :)

Haha, I loved the opening scene - there's something so perfect and so true about Lorcan falling asleep at his desk. Even not in politics, people do that when times are super stressful and busy (my dad has!), plus with the way he gets woken up by Linda :P I really hope those photos turn up again, haha, though it would be cruel to poor Lorcan :P

Lily... you know, I love her more and more as this goes on. There's something so very endearing about her naivity, and confusion over things like sleeping in the office and why people work for politicians. She reminds me a lot of one of my sisters actually, and that's a good thing - she's so lovely, if a little too nice at times ;) It's a really nice foil to the cynicism of some of the others - Bruce and Linda, especially (I think? Sorry if I'm wrong... :/), plus her learning about this stuff is a lovel little side-plot too :)

Really, all your characters are great - and your plot is so quick off-the-mark, which is so right and real for a political campaign and also suits this kind of mad dash type feel to it, especially for Lorcan :P I'm so so curious to see how the political stuff goes along, how the party goes in the next chapter (maybe? :P Please? :D), and what else goes wrong for Lorcan :P

Your writing in this is amazing, too. I have no idea how you manage to get so many details in, or how you get everything to be so perfectly timed, with this great comedic slant to it all the way throughout - it's not something which can really be taught, I don't think, and it's so so good, really it is.

I really love this story and I can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Aph xx

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Review #20, by AphorideWords Unspoken: Words Unspoken

14th September 2015:
Hey there, Mikaela! :) Dropping by for the BvB battle - I hope you don't mind I stopped by on this, I just love reading the shorter stories because it's always so cool to see what people do with 500 words! :)

I love how you use the word limit so well in this to give us so much of a sense of what happened, without actually saying what Scorpius said to Rose, or telling us outright what happened. There's something so gorgeous about it, with the subtlety of the events, and the emotions just being let to keep going :)

I really like how you've characterised Rose, and developed her and Scorpius' friendship and relationship as the story went along. I like how she was so devastated by the end of their friendship and realising that she'd wanted so much more from him than just friendship, but she realised too late. It was so lovely how their friendship sort of ended, and Rose was left to be so alone, and regret so much that she hadn't said anything beforehand.

Your writing in this was so gorgeous, too - you do so so well to get so much emotion out of this, with the way you describe Rose's emotions and the scenery around with the lake and the cold and the water - the image of the ripples coming up to the shore was so lovely! I liked how you made the whole thing with the weather and everything feel so bleak and really emphasise the loneliness and the sadness Rose was feeling - it was so good! :)

I'm sorry this review is a bit shorter than normal, but this was so so lovely, I just ran out of ways to say it again :P

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela. Thanks for readng this story. I'm quite fond of it. And I agree, that it's quite coold to see what people do with 500 words.

I kept the story quite ambiguous, the event didn't matter as much as the emotions that it led to it. Its a hard place to be, between friend and something more, but Rose never really imagined the possibility that he wouldn't be there at all.

It was a fun piece to write and I loved the imagery of it. Thanks so much for your review.


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Review #21, by AphorideEvery Moon Wanes: Thinking Out Loud

6th September 2015:
Hey there, Manno! :) Dropping by from BvB! I'm so glad I spotted you in it (and had free time to drop by) because I've seen this around the forums and really wanted to stop by and check it out, so it's so great I got a chance! :D

I love Remus/Tonks as a pairing - they're so wonderful, really, and they complement each other so well, too - so I was so excited to see this was that. The way you write them is so good, too - there's this beautiful complexity to them both, which I love, and which really rings true with what I remember of them in the books, too. I love how you referenced Remus' 'too poor, too old, too dangerous' lines, too - the conversations in italics were so well inserted into the main body of the story, and just worked so well in getting it all across. You get Remus' character exactly, with his self-deprecating state, and always thinking he's not good enough for her but never quite thinking about what she wants - and how she keeps trying to persuade him of that. It's so sad, and so horrible that he's so convinced of that, you know, and you do so well at getting all those emotions of out it, through your writing - especially your description.

I also love the way you structured this. Like, it's not that common to split it up into sections with two separate timelines, in a way, which then combine together, you know, but it's so good and so well done, and I just love how you used it so further the story and to show the adorable moments of Tonks with her parents when she was young and things. It was just so sweet, and balanced out the angst in the main storyline so well.

I gotta mention her parents, too - I really, really loved how you kinda tied her parents' relationship into hers, in a way, and drew the parallels between them, because they really are there, and I just love anything which makes connections like that :P

Your writing in this was so lovely, too - you brought the emotions out perfectly in this, your description was so gorgeous. I especially loved the snippets when Ted was telling her stories, especially the one about the moon and the werewolves. I think that's the most beautiful description and explanation of werewolves I've ever read. It was so lovely! Your dialogue is so impressive, too - really, from this, it's impossible to tell you took a break from writing ;)

It's so great to see you back - especially if you keep writing things like this! ;) :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: LAURA! Hello! You have no idea how happy this review has made me. I squealed in the middle of a family gathering and everyone looked at me, and I couldn't explain. But yeah. Eek!

I love Remus/Tonks as well, and that made me so nervous about the execution and how they came off. I haven't really written about either of them before but I thought that it's about time I did anyway! So I'm super glad to hear that they worked out.

Also, the conversations in italics were last minute edits, and I did worry that they just dragged the whole thing out pointlessly. But, at the same time, I wanted a way to show Tonks's struggle so far, and explain why she was still fighting for it.

Oh, and the story about the werewolves is probably what I'm most proud of in this story. So you have no idea how happy I am that you liked it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the awesome review! It means so much to me!


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Review #22, by AphorideTurbulence: Chapter 1

1st September 2015:
Hey Erin! Sorry the rest of our swap is coming a bit late - with the Dobbys and wrist injuries, things got a little bit delayed :/ I hope that's okay! :)

I really like with this story, how well you do at setting up the world around Astoria, and keeping it in line and merging with the world we know from the series. Like, the little things - the mention of Hogwarts and the sorting hat and so on, the letter from her mother saying that the Dark Lord had returned - they just give it this great sense of grounding, you know? It all fits in so well. Plus, it gives all these lovely details - like how to get into House Cartell, how their sorting system works (and it seems a lot less potentially argumentative, haha, than Hogwarts', though I guess rivalries and things would still exist), and that it seems so many founders had alliterative names :P

I like your Astoria, too - I really like how you've developed her from the prologue, and how you've shown the effect the potion has on her, in a way, by the contrast between her then and now. It's a really stark presentation, you know, when you compare the two, and there's something strangely unnerving about how almost monotone she is, with the potion making her so flat to how she was before. I also liked how clearly her experiences there had shaped her, with the two boys bullying (for lack of a better word, though it's incredibly light for it) the new girl - it gives her this interesting, brave side, and that was kinda the first time where it felt like more of her from the prologue was coming through, you know? Which makes a lot of sense.

I like the group you've set up around her, and how already we can see some of the conflicts sort of waiting for her - with her making a new friend she may have to defend, the possibility of her friends learning about her condition, the antagonists Durant and Fey and things happening there - and the threat of the Dark Lord's return in the background. It's a really lovely complex situation, you know, which I just love :)

I'm really, really curious to see where this goes - where you take Astoria after this, and how things develop for her in America. It's a really interesting start, and your characters are wonderful! :)

Aph xx

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Review #23, by AphorideTurbulence: Prologue

25th August 2015:
Hey there, Erin! :) Sorry for the late drop by - I got distracted by prep research for uni, haha (which is like a miracle for me :P), and the gym, but I'm here now! :D I'm so excited for this fic because I saw it in the Diversity challenge, but didn't know if it stood on its own, really (which is mostly my fault, I admit!), so I never stopped by, so I'm so glad you said this one! :)

I really love the way you've set Astoria up in this one - with the reason she's going to school in America, and her diagnoses and how she never sees her best friend again and just doesn't understand. It makes her, and her mother to an extent, too, a really sympathetic figure, because it's not her fault, you know? She's a kid, she has no idea what she's doing or not doing...

Also, I just love that you included bipolar disorder in this - it's something which touched my life, though not directly, and it's something which is never talked about in fic - disorders and things, illnesses, just never seem to come up. I love as well how in depth on it you're going, with the details about Astoria's actions, and I'm so curious to see where you take her with this, how the potion works and to what extent, and just what happens in America.

I love the way you portray her family, too, how her mother is the only one, really, to even sort of attempt to understand what Astoria needs and what's necessary for her, and at least seems to be willing to try - her dad just sounds so... stiff. Inflexible, kinda.

Your writing in this is so lovely, too - it's so clean and so clear, and so just good, you know? Like, everything's perfectly balanced and your description really suits the characters, and the voice you use for it just perfectly expresses the emotions wound up in the story. It's really, really lovely to read :)

This is a really interesting prologue, and a really interesting set-up (I love the super original reason for her going to America, and I'm so curious to see how the racial element ties into it, because that hasn't been mentioned so much yet ;)) and I'm really looking forward to reading the next three chapters! :D :)

Aph xx

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Review #24, by AphorideKeep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Apparating

24th August 2015:
Hey again, J - I'm back for more of this! :D I did say it wouldn't be long... ;) Especially seeing as I actually read this the other day when I saw you'd posted it (and didn't review *hides* I am a bad Aph, clearly...), I really, really wanted to stop by :)

I love your Lorcan more and more with each chapter. There's something so refreshing about his absolute clumsiness and awful attempts at subtlety and information-wheedling. Though he does succeed, so perhaps there's something to learned from it :P He's not quite solely for comedy, but you give him this beautiful comedic turn which suits him and his traits, and the tone of this story so so well. It's something which I can imagine is really, really hard to do (I've never tried to do it personally... I'm too scared of humour, haha), so I'm so impressed by how easy it seems to be for you in this.

There were so many great bits and great lines in this chapter - your dialogue is just brilliant. Like, seriously. You've got this perfect sense of timing, almost, in writing which just gives all the lines such a kick to them. I think my favourite, though, was the exchange at the end with Branson and Erick about Lorcan going on a date with the opposition's aide - it was just so so funny! :D I really, really love how strong Lorcan's voice is in this, it really shines through, and it's so witty and so easy to read, you know? Like, I almost barely notice I'm reading as I go through, and I'm always surprised when I get to the end, because it's so genuine.

(I'm not sure that last bit made sense. Sorry :P)

I've got to say, I love what you're doing with the plot, and how you're winding this all around politics - it reminds me a lot of comedy tv shows (Yes, Prime Minister, mainly) about politics, which I love because it's so true and it's so understandable, you know? (Though don't think I didn't notice it seems very much based off American politics, which is okay... I can deal :P But I'm super into British politics, so feel free to pm me if you want to ask Brit-specific questions ;)) I love the whole run through it, with them having to deal with the meeting where the candidates put themselves forward - and I love having Hestia Jones in as a familiar name, since it makes sense some of the Order would still be floating around - and how Lorcan is sort of dragged along because he's the least imposing :P Poor guy!

I'm so so excited to see where it goes from here for the party and for Lorcan (and hopefully some starting hints of romance with Lily? *wink wink* *nudge nudge*). Next chapter now, yes? :P

(Also: I gotta say, I love that you gave Lily Celiac disease. My adopted grandmother (it's a long story, haha) has it, and I dunno, I just love it when authors include things like that - it helps with the realism, you know?)

Thank you so so much for the swap! :) As always, it was great!

Aph xx

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Review #25, by Aphoridefirst: first kiss

23rd August 2015:
Hey Carla! :) Dropping by for our review swap (and the BvB fest)! I'm so glad you posted it, because I really love this story, so it's so great to get a chance to come back to it :P :)

I really love Esme, as I've said before, and how you develop her. She's sort of fragile, but in the kind of way where she wants to be so strong, and wants to make herself so strong - almost cold - because that's easier than being weak or emotional and seeming weak, you know? Which is a really lovely and interesting way to take a character - it's not one you see very often! I always feel so sorry for her in ways in this story, but strangely not at the same time, too, because she gets a bad lot, it's true, but she sort of doesn't quite let it define her as such, and she manages to deal with it all extremely well :)

Your Albus is so amazing. I love how worried he was about her when she stopped writing, how angry he is that she was so close and never thought to stop by - yeah, he gets angry, but there's a lovely undertone of caring about it: that he was so worried and so angry because he cares about her, and it's something which is so true to life, too, which I love. And James... haha, yeah, I'm an older sister, and it's such an older sibling reaction, and I love it :P The angry, the irritation that someone, knowingly or not, has made your little sibling upset... yeah, it happens :)

Your writing in this is so lovely, as always - you have this wonderful way of describing things, and this brilliant, unique voice for Esme which I love, there's this kinda French twist to it which is so clever and so subtle but so right, you know, and it's all so so impressive. The other thing I love so much about this is how well you do at filling in the information between scenes, in the dialogue and the thoughts of the characters in the scenes we see. When you're skipping time as you do, it's so so important to get it right, the whole show not tell thing, and you do it so well here. I loved that Esme flees her parents' failing relationship, but can't quite see that hers with Denis could potentially go the same way, and how she works in England but never says to any of her Weasley cousins. It says so much in so few words, and I love it, really! :)

This is a wonderful story - but then you know I think that - and thank you so much for the swap - I really gotta keep up better with this! :)

Aph xx

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