Reading Reviews From Member: Aphoride
  
354 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AphorideWhen Summer Fades: solstice

25th November 2014:
Hey there - so glad you see you post about a review swap, and I really wanted to get back to this story and, alas, I am busy so I kinda needed some kind of excuse :P

So, anyway, here I am, and omigosh this is just so sad. But it really fits the story, you know? It works so, so well.

I love how you introduce this with a much darker point - it really sort of sets the tone for the whole thing, you know? That it's not going to be light or happy, that there isn't a nice ending for them - or either of them, separately. It's so evocative of war, and everything that happens as a consequence - the pain and suffering people go through, the loss of life... I really actually liked how you had Summer's parents die too, it sort of compounded that, and to have Bellatrix ask Regulus if he wanted to finish her off... for him to cry in front of Voldemort. It's him being vulnerable, but also allowing himself to cry in front of such people kinda shows a sort of strength, I guess, in that they're really not the kind of people you'd want to be like that around, haha.

I really loved how you tied it into Regulus stealing the locket and knowing he's going to die - you set it up so beautifully that it felt like such a natural, desperate, lonely decision for him to make. He literally only has Kreacher left, and most people would think that didn't even count. Poor boy :( The bit about how he found out about Horcruxes was neat too - I liked the idea that he sort of found in the process of trying to find a cure, of sorts, for death, rather than looking for immortality. A neat inversion :P (Though, the only thing I'd say is that you say the Dark Lord gave him a 'respectful nod', which seems a bit OOC for Voldemort, tbh. Maybe try a different adjective?)

Your writing as always is so lovely in this - it's so evocative, and so descriptive. I particularly loved the way you said about him thinking about Summer, with the needles, and how you talked about him under the potion and Kreacher after having taken it. Your characterisation, as always, was sterling, especially Kreacher, so kudos to you! :)

I'm so so glad I got a chance to read the end of this - I really, really enjoyed reading this and just had to finish it. It's such a lovely, bittersweet story with a very sad end. But yeah, it's a gorgeous story :)

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi! Eeee you always leave the best reviews ♥ and I was super excited to get back to L'optimisme, so I'm really glad for the swap too! :D

I think there was really no way to have a happy story about Regulus. The story was kind of doomed from the beginning since we all know how it ends for poor Regulus :( I'm glad that kind of dark first paragraph helped set the tone for the rest of the dark chapter though.

It was definitely an unpleasant part to write, when Summer's parents die, but as you said it had to happen as it was like the last straw, and in a war there is a lot of death, some of which you can't see coming. That part about Regulus crying, I don't necessarily think he was trying to be brave, more like it all got to be too much and he gave up for a few minutes there.

It was kind of an act of desperation. In writing this I think I gained a lot of respect for Regulus as he really had just the worst circumstances. At least Kreacher still cared about him, yeah :( I'm really glad you liked the set up to the discovery of Horcruxes! I figured Voldemort couldn't have been too blatant about it, or other people would have figured it out - so Regulus had to know about Horcruxes already. "Respectful nod" hahaha... thank you for pointing that out, I have fixed it now :D

Aaah, thank you soo much, I'm thrilled that you thought the writing was so lovely and evocative! The potion was a weird bit to write, as he has absolutely no idea what's real and what's not, but that's the impression I got after reading the cave chapter in HBP a few times - anyway, I'm glad that came across well! And thanks about the characterization, that is so great to hear!

Thank you so much for your amazing review ♥


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Review #2, by Aphoridethe earth and the sky: the earth and the sky

23rd November 2014:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so this is going to take me a while, but considering you said this means a lot to you and it's very important, I think it doesn't really deserve any less, you know? So, really, I'm going to try and do this story some sort of justice in this review... and not, you know, butcher the whole idea of justice :P

The themes you wrote in this are so incredibly difficult, you know - loss of sense, ptsd and trauma, insomnia, hints of alcoholism, and then the miscarriage and Astoria's illness at the end. You handled them so well and so sensitively, with this sort of strange beauty through them. Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, you managed to write about those difficult, testing conditions and still make this a love story, still include happiness in it, and still have them win, in the end. It's incredibly beautiful and wonderful and yeah... it's just amazing.

I'm sorry, I don't normally get affected by things I read or write or watch so this is a bit strange for me, tbh. I'm not crying, if I'm honest, but I feel very much affected by this - it really made me think and feel for them, and feel like I understand life a little more, in a way.

It probably makes no sense. Sorry about that :P

The way you characterise Astoria and Draco is equally brilliant. I love how you bring out both their fully range of qualities and bad traits, you know. They're both so utterly human at the end of it - Astoria wants to help Draco, he's scared, but wants help, she refuses him, he asks again... it's just such a lovely little dance-like thing they have at the beginning, before their relationship sort of properly gets underway, but even then, as the reader, it feels inevitable, you know? And there's something wonderful about that.

Plus, I love the changes they go through - I love how you didn't shy away from the idea that dealing with someone, and a marriage, can be difficult, and it can get sluggish and you can almost feel like giving up - and I loved how Blaise was the one to shove Astoria back and that when she came back, they worked, which again is such a realistic idea, and they found happiness. It's really so true to life, and makes you feel for them even more.

I was so struck by Astoria's illness turning up, because I didn't really expect it. I was kinda hoping they could be happy and just live and be together, because, really, they deserve to be, after everything, but I guess that's part of life, right? Things happen, and you have to face up to them. Again, in this the emotions were so on point it was unreal; the fear, against the fearlessness of the young ('dying is something other people do') it was so, so good. And I loved the little mention of Draco talking to Daphne and wishing she'd died instead; people do that! It's not nice, it's not something they'd ever necessarily admit, but they do. It's such a human foible, I love it.

The train station scene was so perfect as the ending - especially after Draco managing to find joy in his life at the end, and then finally meeting her again, and she'd waited for him... gah, it was so sweet! Somewhere in wizard heaven, they're in a house by a river together :)

Your writing was stunning. Honestly, I don't get moved by things - I just don't. I appreciate them, but I rarely ever actually feel things. And this one I did, so all the kudos to you for that :)

This was an absolutely stunning one-shot. It's amazing. Even more so if this is incredibly personal to you, because it's always so hard to tackle issues you've faced or people close to you have faced. I haven't been able to do that yet myself, so I really find it amazing.

I must find a thread to recommend this in... (after sleeping coz it's late here :P) :)

Love. Love. Love. Favourited.

Aph xx

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Review #3, by AphorideNot Yet Over.: Not Yet Over.

23rd November 2014:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

So I'm a massive fan of dark/mystery/horror sort of things, so this was right up my street, so I couldn't resist stopping by this ;)

I love the whole uncertainty element, like there's no real way to tell whether or not Susan's going mad or hallucinating things or if it's actually real, you know? It's so unclear, with evidence for both interpretations, and I love that - it's such an impressive technique!

Susan's characterisation in this is brilliant! I've always felt that PTSD as a consequence of the war isn't really talked about or really mentioned in ff, so I was so excited to see you were dealing with it in this - and you dealt with it so well! It reminded me a lot of what happened after the First World War, actually, when the soldiers returned and they sort of had to try and understand PTSD then and work out what it was and how they could help it, because it had never happened on that kind of scale before - only things are a little easier for the wizards :P

I loved how you emphasised Susan's family connections, with her aunt being murdered by the Death Eaters, and her fears for her father and her mother and herself, and then how she thinks so much of her experiences at Hogwarts during Harry's seventh year... she's such a loyal and brave character, but she sort of can't cope with peacetime, you know? At least, that's kinda part of the impression I got from it. I loved as well how the people are her were so concerned for her, including her boss, and wanted to help her, but she never sort of believed that there was a problem or that they could or would help. It's so sad, but unfortunately common with some illnesses.

That ending... gosh, I have no idea what to think! Was she making it up in her head, or is it true? It's one of those things, though, where I love that it's that open-ended, you know, it doesn't need to be concluded in a way.

So yeah, I really loved this story - it's so amazingly creepy, and so fascinating, and so well written too! I'm so glad I got a chance to stop by and read this - so good! :)

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for this review.

Yeah, the original idea for this story was to write something that might either be in the character's head or might be real danger. I think I came up with the idea when somebody posted an unreliable narrator challenge, but I found it difficult to think of a character it'd fit and then when somebody posted a Halloween challenge, it gave me the push I needed to actually write it. I wanted a character we didn't know well, because I thought if I wrote somebody like Harry or Hermione, people would be inclined to believe it was real, just because they've been right so often in the past. I wanted people to come at it without preconceptions.

I'm not usually a horror/dark writer, which is probably why this moved into the realms of possible trauma, about which I do write a lot (I'm now trying to think when was the last time I wrote a story WITHOUT any traumatised characters), so anyway, I'm glad it appealed to somebody who's more familiar with that genre than I am and who writes it so well themself.

My country has only recently begun to properly acknowledge the First World War. I do know "shellshock" was a big issue at the time, but the similarity didn't occur to me at all. (Our independence struggle was taking place at the same times, so the idea of Irish people fighting IN the British army didn't fit the official narrative too well, as you can imagine.)

I've read that a lot of people deal with crises like wars and then don't break down until afterwards, because there is so much else to deal with when the crisis is taking place.

I wrote it, sort of thinking she was most likely imagining it, but I could make an argument the other way too.

Really glad you liked it. Thanks so much again for the review.


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Review #4, by Aphoridefall.: fall.

23rd November 2014:
Hey there, Carla (it is Carla, right?) - stopping by our review swap! :)

So, Teddy/Rose is one of those lovely, not-often-written about ships which are always, I think, written so, so well, and this really is not any kind of exception to that. I love how simplistic this is, almost like a sort of long-ish microfiction, in a way, because it just allows the emotions to speak so clearly and loudly, you know? There's no extraneous information or detail, it's so raw because of that and it works so, so well.

I love the way you characterised Teddy and Rose, too. You really brought out this great longing between them, how he wants her and she wants to be with him, but there's this sense of honour or loyalty, perhaps, stopping them because Rose won't hurt her cousin. It's such a telling, beautiful and bittersweet thing to put in - and you can't really blame anyone for it, you know? We don't know the other side of the story, but it's not really necessary. We know they're in love and yet it's impossible and that's the heartbreak right there.

The themes of this were gorgeous, too - and I loved the way they ran throughout them. The whole 'crackle, etc.' thing was lovely, and the mentions of fall and different shades of red and things were so great and so descriptive. Even without using too much description, I could still picture the scene in my mind, because you said everything that was necessary for it, you know?

The only thing I can comment on is that you might want to be careful about repetition, because sometimes it gets to be a bit too much, you know, and it sounds a bit weird - but that's not really very importan ;) Easily changed! :)

So yeah, this is a gorgeous little story - I love the whole premise of it, with autumn and them sitting on a park bench and trying to talk or find a way to manage things, and the whole heartbreak of it is gorgeous, and I'm so so impressed by you managing to write a whole story into so few words - I'm terrible at it myself, haha.

This is so lovely, and I'm so glad I had a chance to read this! :)

Aph xx

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Review #5, by Aphorideheaven: can't help me now

18th November 2014:
Hey there - dropping by from BvB :)

So I loved this - especially the characterisation. It's such a clever idea - and I don't think I've ever seen something quite like this done in ff, or even really in of, with the whole 'she wants to remember it because she's convinced it won't last', like she's persuading herself early on to try and avoid heartbreak or something. It's such a cool idea.

Lily is such a good character - I loved how atypical she was for a romantic female lead, with her whole 'saying I love you is a mistake' thing and how she's sort of just waiting for it to be over throughout the whole story. It's kinda sad, in that way, but it makes her so amazing, and you get this wonderful sense of fear, and nervousness and yet this almost longing to be free from it - so it really makes her this incredible, real character.

Mystery guy was great, too :P I loved how he sort of remained mysterious throughout it - like he was always sort of idolised by Lily, and idealised, so he was this mysterious, volatile, fun figure - and remarkable, too, haha - and seemingly almost perfect in her eyes, and so to us too, but it worked so well because of the whole juxtaposition between the perfect-ness of the relationship and Lily's almost fear that it's going to end, and not believing that he won't, or refusing to believe he'll stay. It was almost like he was a sort of physical representation of that feeling of Lily's, you know? which is kinda meta in a way :P But no, I loved how traditionally romantic he was - smooth, handsome, kind, etc.

The writing in this was lovely too - though there were a few places where you used commas where you should have used semi-colons, but it's nothing big ;) - it has this lovely clean style which I'm so jealous of because I can't stop waffling for the life of me. There was something almost honest about the way you wrote it, and I loved the different sections with the different dates and scenes. It worked so, so well.

So yeah, I really loved reading this - it's a great little one-shot! :)

Aph xx

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Review #6, by Aphorideour reality.: Chapter One

11th November 2014:
Bonjour, Emily! :) So I promised I'd stop by and review this and I'm grabbing a little bit of spare time to do that, so here I am! :D

So I'm so excited about this novel because I love Marauders Era stuff which deals with/mentions the first war and all of that, because it's so fascinating, and something we don't know that much about, you know?

I love Dorcas' character in this - I love how she's sort of the only one of the group, that we know of, who doesn't have an invested reason (like a relative) to join the Order and fight against the DEs. It makes the whole thing, with Izzy's reluctance and disbelief, so much more believable. People don't want to put themselves in danger, and it's difficult to blame people for that sort of thing, you know? But yeah, I love it - and the little things, like her being a bit clumsy and tripping on the stairs (conveniently into Marlene, haha).

The whole atmosphere was brilliant, too - and it's not something you often see in Marauder's fics, the whole dark, nervous kind of feeling surrounding them all - and so I loved how you included it. People not wanting to eat is such a clever way of portraying it, too! Plus, Izzy's worry and Dumbledore looking so tired and things, they all just hinted at things really not going well and the war already taking its toll.

A couple of tiny things: you said 'passively-aggressively' when I think it should just be 'passive-aggresively', and also when Sirius flung his arm over Remus' shoulders (lol), you repeated 'Sirius' which you didn't need to, since 'him' was already Sirius in that sentence (Remus was 'who' ;D).

I loved all of the little details in this, too - the crashed broomsticks on Izzy's pyjamas (which sound awesome!), how Dorcas is pureblood and yet still thinks its wrong, the joke about Remus being 'two people' (wolfy reference, yes? Loved it!), and so many more! Your writing is just so good - I love it to pieces.

So yeah, this is a fabulous, fabulous start and I'm so excited about where this is going to go and how it's all going to end (coz, gah, we already know some bits, but not how and it's going to be so sad! :( ).

Favourited :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Salut, Laura! :D You're too nice to me, thanks so much!

Yeah, I completely get what you mean! The First War is something that's not really covered in canon except that a lot of people die fighting, so reading a story that explores that is always super interesting for me and I'm glad you're feeling like that about this story!

Yay, I'm so glad you like her! I know, she's a really nice person and so selfless and I'm glad that you still managed to believe the fact that she would go into the Order just for moral reasons, and that Izzy's reaction was believable when it came to that. I'm so glad you liked the little details as well, of course Dorcas would go tripping into Marlene, ehehehe.

Yes, I'm so glad you like it! Most Marauder-era stories that I've read seem really light and pretty happy and I don't think that's realistic because there's a war going on outside those walls and I really think that the atmostphere of the whole school would reflect that grimness and, like you mentioned, the toll that the war is taking on the people who are even indirectly involved.

Ooh, thanks so much for catching those, I'll make sure to go back and edit them soon, maybe when I put the next chapter in.

I'm really glad that you do like the small things as I was afraid that they might bog the story down, and yes, I'm so glad that you caught the wolfy reference from Remus! Two peoplem him and the wolf. Hehehe. Thank you so much for the amazing compliment, especially taking into account how amazing and detail-oriented your own writing is *-* so thank you so much!

I'm so glad you think so! And yes, I think that I might be very very strongly tempted to ignore canon entirely when it comes to the end of this. :(

Thank you so, so much for the lovely review! ♥


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Review #7, by AphorideAn inky black heart.: The ebony vessel.

10th November 2014:
Hey Kiana! Dropping by for the BvB review battle and just had to pounce on this! :)

I'm not much of a fan of Snape/Lily, either - though I do love an unrequited, dark Snape/Lily, which is exactly what you've written. It's such an obsessive, turbulent, twisted sort of relationship, particularly the way he viewed her, and you've captured that whole sense of it perfectly here, with the whole 'want want want' 'need need need' repetition through this, and the constant themes of obsessing, feeling he was only existing for her and so on. You manage to deal with so much in so few words in this - it's so amazingly impressive!

The way you characterised Snape in this is great, too - and I'm not just saying that because I love portrayals of him like this, where he's this tortured, possessive guy, who doesn't really almost understand how love works. You just get him so well in this - his conformity and lust for power, his lust for Lily and how he can only really focus on her, what she looked like and so on, how he hates other men and boys who like her, are connected to her in some way. You paint this very vivid, physical sort of relationship between them, with the way he feels about her. Everything is talked about in terms of physicality: proximity, looks, emotions. It's such an amazing theme and you write it so beautifully.

Speaking of - well, your writing is always gorgeous so that's no surprise - but I love the style of this. How it's sort of almost semi-stream of consciousness, you know, how it flows so perfectly, like thought, but isn't quite, almost as though he's remembering things. Your language, as well, is so beautiful - it's so evocative of pictures and emotions and really lends it this whole dark, disturbing air which I adore.

So yeah, basically, this is perfect and I love it :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey Laura!

I'm glad you liked this then, as it was much more fun to explore the dark and twisted side where you can really get to grips with Snape's flaws rather than the unrequited side. I'm really glad that the obsessive side of his love came through though as it was quite hard to figure out how to show the obsession in only a few words, but I guess that was part of the fun too.

Bahahaha, it's fine and I love portrayals of him like this too as I feel as if that's the true Snape and we can really see what he's like here. Thank you so much, the compliments mean a lot to me! It was interesting that you picked up on the lust specifically though because when I was writing about this I realised a lot of Snape's actions could be interpreted as ones driven by the idea of lust and power and that would explain a lot of things.

Thank you so much but I do have to give a lot of credit to the amazing Victor Hugo as he did inspire a lot of this and if you haven't read anything by him, I really suggest you do as his work is just ♥ ♥ ♥

Thank you for this amazing review, Laura, it really did make me smile! :D

-Kiana


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Review #8, by AphorideWe Are One: It begins with pink

6th November 2014:
Hey there! I thought I'd drop by on this one, rather than your Jenna Matthews story, since that one's going through edits, so I hope that's okay! :)

You should know straight off that I adore murder mysteries. Like, properly, properly love them. To bits. So I was so excited to drop by on this - I couldn't resist it, especially when I've heard such good things about it!

I love how you start with a little flash of the murderer, and the build-up to the murder itself. It's such an intriguing way to start - not the normal sort of way, I think - and it really just pulls me into the story, without any effort at all. All the little hints and things about Umbridge were great, too - I loved the cats on plates on the walls, the pink colour everywhere, and yet the sort of memory the murderer obviously had of her being so cruel and so wicked. I have no idea who the murderer could be either - there really are so many characters who hated her! :P

Your characterisation is so good, too - I loved how you portrayed Ron and Harry in this, going about the crime scene, getting called into work so early/being so tired and all... it really highlights the non-glamorous aspect of an Auror's life, you know? But they were all great - I loved Ginny's comment after she found out about Umbridge, it was so in-character for her, and the little mentions of Harry putting her bump and stroking her hair were lovely.

The only thing I could say is maybe when you have more fluid senses, like sounds and smells and things, introduce them a bit earlier? Like, it seemed a bit sudden for Ron to hear the cats - the sound would have been there all along - so mentioning a faint noise, or that it gets louder or something, would make it a bit less static. But that's really a minor thing ;)

Your writing is so lovely - I love the way you shift your dialogue to suit each character, and the way you put I so many little details, like the Auror-speak (Un-Sub and 1200 hours), and the little character things you put in there.

Your plot is just amazing, though - I'm so, so curious to know what's happened, who's done it, what's going to happen next. Even though this isn't on a cliffhanger, it essentially is, because you've made me want to know so much more! :)

I'm going to have to try and follow you during the Review Battle or something :P

Aph xx

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Review #9, by AphorideThe Deathly Children: The Women in the Walls

29th October 2014:
Hey, Nicole! :) I was so, so glad to get an
excuse to come back to this story, with the
exchange pairings this month - I read this over
and over again, you know, but I always find it
so hard to work out what to say other than
'WRITE MORE' :P

Firstly, though, I have to say massive
congratulations on your Dobby wins, and
especially the one for this story - they were
all so well deserved! :)

I love Ariana in this - I love the way you
portray as somehow both less and more than her
brothers, like she knows less about the 'real'
world, but she knows more in ways, too, and
there's this lovely, dark connotations
underneath all of that, with her - like her
knowledge is sinister, she shouldn't have it.
Like it's forbidden. I'm so curious and worried
about what's going to happen with Ariana!

Albus and Aberforth are great, too - though,
tbh, your characters are always amazing, so
that's no surprise! I love the interactions
between the three of them, the way it's so
clear that they're siblings and they start off
close, if not super-close, it almost makes
knowing how it ends all that much sadder, you
know? It's very cruel of you! ;)

I loved the glimpses of Gellert, being expelled
and then leaving, getting an illegal portkey
and then coming to Godric's Hollow. I love how
you manage to convey that he's this sinister,
dark kind of boy, with this violent tendency
and fascination with power and dark arts
without actually really saying it - you use
description so well with that, it's so subtle
but it's there and it comes across so well.
Also, I loved Gellert giving the flowers to
Bethilda - so smooth :P He's so determined to
do things, and so decisive too, but I liked the
way you explored parts of his character by
saying that it was abnormal for him to do those
things - like submitting to the Headmaster, and
not stealing the wand from Bartolomew (who, by
the way, was a fabulously interesting
character. I hope he turns up again!). It's
such an unusual way to describe someone, and it
was so great! :)

The use of the Crone, Mother and Maiden (Glass
Girl) was also so amazing - I love mythology
and copious references to it all, so I love how
you're using it here, even if I don't yet
understand how they're going to come into play
- but that's for later, yes? ;) Explanations
can wait, because it doesn't need to make
sense, and yet somehow they fit in so well with
this, and Ariana's state of mind.

All of the fire images and things were so
lovely - I like that she's literally volatile,
flammable in a way, and it's so terrifying to
think of. It's also a really interesting
version of what happened to her. And the little
mentions of Percival in Azkaban were
heartbreaking! Just imagining him there on his
own, carving the box for Ariana, in the dark...
:(

Your writing, as you know (or should do!), is
so gorgeous - this really is a perfect example
of why you won Best Description Dobby, though
honestly imo you could probably have won it for
any of your stories!

You should update this soon! Totally! :) I know
the phrase is absence makes the heart grow
fonder, but I'm not sure the latter is possible
where this story is concerned :P

Aph xx

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Review #10, by AphorideWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

20th October 2014:
Hey there - stopping by for our review swap! :)

I'm so glad I stopped by because I remember reading the first chapter of this a while ago, but I never finished it, so a chance to read the second chapter was obviously not something I was going to pass up! :)

As before, I love how you portray Regulus in this - I have such a soft spot for Black family members - he's so different from how you'd imagine Sirius to have been, you know? Kinda quiet and so nervous about doing something wrong, and yet friends with Summer and so caring when he actually cares about people - there's this strand of loyalty in him which amazing to see, and you write it in so beautifully. All throughout, particularly towards the end with all the mentions of the Death Eaters and things there's this sense that he's getting in too deep, and he doesn't really know what to do, and he's sort of lost, you know? Sort of innocent rather than cowardly, if that makes sense. He just doesn't have that kind of violence in him.

Summer is a brilliant character, too - she's so unique and more so in this chapter than the last one, which is impressive, frankly! ;) I love how she's still friends with him even after he tells her he's a Death Eater, and she's so calm about it, and so strong, dealing with her illness and all - she just has this wonderful, calm and almost breezy sort of way of dealing with things - like nothing could phase her. Yeah, she's amazing.

Their whole friendship is so sweet - but there's this lovely sense of tension underneath it, with her illness and the war and Regulus being a Death Eater, and the whole image of the fading summer really just sums the whole thing up so beautifully. So nervous about the whole Jasper knows thing, too - is he going to say anything? Will anyone find out? Will Summer survive?

You know, you have a lot of unanswered questions/cliffhangers in this one, haha. It's very cruel of you! :P

So yes, I really love this story as before, and I'm so glad I got a chance to come back to it, because it really is lovely :)

Thank you so much for the swap - it was great, as always! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Ah, I'm so glad you came back to this story!

You've picked up on all these great things about Regulus - I've always seen him as a lot like Sirius, but neither he nor Sirius really recognises that. I really like in particular that you pointed out his loyalty, as that comes in so many forms - and the distinction between innocence and cowardice. That's such a good point, and I agree - I think considering he joined the DE's at 16, he was kind of naive and didn't realize what it all meant until his friendship with Summer really makes him think about it.

I'm so thrilled you like Summer, and that you think she's a unique character! She does have a very calm strength, and can see things about Regulus that he doesn't really see in himself yet. There is definitely a lot of outside tension underlying their friendship, with all these circumstances in the way. I'm really glad you think they're sweet though!

Heh, yeah I do have a kind of fondness for cliff hangers. The third chapter is the last one, though - so no cliff hangers there.

Thanks for this amazing review and for the swap!


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Review #11, by AphorideFeel Alive: Feel Alive

17th October 2014:
Hey there! :) Dropping by from the BvB review battle :)

So, I love Ron/Hermione - they're just such an adorable couple! - and I love seeing different authors' takes on them, so I just had to stop by on this one!

I love the way you've focused so tightly on their relationship here, because their whole relationship wasn't really talked about much in the books, you know, coz they were about Harry and it wasn't essential - but with this, it seems to sort of fill out and explore those moments, and explain them in ways as well. It's such a lovely presentation of it, and mentioning their kids as well is so sweet! :)

You wrote both of them so well, too - the way Hermione spoke about how Ron made her feel and things was so in character for her, and the way she described Ron as acting and the effects of it all was so like him, you know - like how he made her feel safe when they were on the run, how they jumped into the lake together off the dragon and so on... it was just so so good! I'm also really impressed you managed to give such a good account of a character (Ron) without having him ever actually be in the scene or show up, other than in Hermione's words and thoughts. It's really, really clever! :)

I love the way you described their relationship through emotions, though. It almost charted their whole friendship and then love with it - with them not getting on at first, him upsetting her, their fights and bickering as they grew up, their friendship and then them falling in love. There was this lovely sense of something incredibly real about it - and honest, too, with the way Hermione admitted that he made her annoyed and angry and hurt her and things.

Your writing is so lovely in this, too - there's this great flow to this, and a lovely style with the repetition of 'he made me feel' and things - it works so so well!

Also, can I just say that I'm incredibly jealous that you wrote all of this during a lecture? I could never ever write as much or something as good as this during a class, haha! I'd never have enough time to get anywhere close to finishing!

So yeah, in all, I really liked this - it's a really cute, sweet one-shot and the characterisation is amazing :)

Aph xx

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Review #12, by Aphoridenotes on freefalling.: sunbeams

14th October 2014:
Hi Maia! :) I just had to pounce on this one-shot when I saw you wanted a review swap, because I'm supposed to be revising for a French test and working on a presentation (or, you know, two *oops*) so the excuse was really, really welcome! :P

Plus, I always love your work, so it's such a treat to be able to drop by! :)

Okay, so I love the way you write Astoria - all of the emotions in this and her are just so beautifully written and feel so real, you know? It's so complicated, really, her situation, except that, in the end, it isn't, because she can be happy and she makes the decision that will make her happy. I loved how much she cared for Scorpius, though - because it really fuelled so much of this and her indecision and showed so much of her character - her selflessness, her insecurity, her hesitance, her love... yeah, it was just so good! :)

Parvati was amazing, too - I loved how this wasn't quite linear, going back in time to their eighth year - and how Parvati and Astoria sort of slowly became friends without really realising it. And I loved more than anything how Parvati waited for Astoria to work things out and make up her own mind about what she wanted to do - it was just such a sweet, beautiful moment, and it's not something you see often in ff or even of, characters who know and are so patient and understanding. I loved how you highlighted Parvati's friendship with Lavender (the little bit about Astoria wondering if they were more than friends made me laugh, because, honestly, I did wonder for a bit in this, too!), and her with her sister Padma.

(I do wonder, you know, if Padma ever finds out she essentially brought them together :P)

All the little themes in this were so good - the light colours, particularly the yellow, and the references to flowers and strawberries and things... I dunno, but coupled with the coldness of Malfoy Manor and everything it made me think that living with Draco was sort of like being in winter, and then Parvati was spring and everything - like a new year, new start kinda thing? I don't know if it was intentional, but I loved it all the same! :)

There is golden light inside of her and itís hot like the sun and it fills her from head to toe, every inch of her, every tiny part, she is filled up with Parvati and it is dizzy and warm and bright.

^this line was so beautiful, too - with the sun motif and theme and everything... and it was just such a beautiful description of a first kiss, too! Well, not first, but first kiss as a couple. Ah, you know what I mean! :P But no, it's so gorgeous!

All your details in this were so amazing, too - the description of Parvati's lip stud, the baby stains on Astoria's clothes, and so on... you are so so good at including things like that and making your story practically breathe. I'm almost jealous right now :P Tell me your secrets!

Your writing, as always, is gorgeous. You know I love how you write - the way everything is just so beautifully pulled together, every word fits so well, and I read through 6000 words without ever once thinking it was that long. Pretty sure I could read any length writing of yours and not notice the length... you just always suck me into the story and it's so amazing.

So yes. I love this, I love your writing, you're amazing. But you knew that already ;) Or should do, if you don't. Totally recommending this on the forums is no one else has yet... :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: your reviews are always the best omg just &hearts &hearts but go work on your presentations silly! :P

e i'm so glad you liked astoria! i've never written her or even really read her before so I went into this with no idea how i was gonna play it, and i just tried to let her write herself in a way, so i don't actually think i had any say in how she turned out! raw emotion was really what i was going for with her so i'm really happy you liked it! :D

parvati is another character i've hardly read and never written, so it was fun interpreting her too! we really have hardly anything to work on with her from canon, even though she's around quite a lot, so i just tried to make her into someone who would work with astoria. i decided astoria needed that quiet no-pressure gentle kind of happiness so i made parvati into that person :D

ooh i'm glad you picked up on the light and flowers themes! i usually have a stronger theme running through my fics than i did here (winter in 'winter cry', butterflies 'butterfly heart', etc) so i felt a little aimless while writing it at first, but then i tried to work with all these sun-related motifs for parvati and i'm pretty happy with how it turned out! she totally contrasts the coldness of the manor and the Malfoys, and she's kind of the sun that allows Astoria to blossom #cheesy

ahhh i'm glad you liked that line :D i'm really bad at writing romantic scenes and kiss scenes so i wrote that all stream of consciousness and didn't edit it, ahaha. so glad you think it worked!

i am so glad you liked this so much hun :D thank you so much for this amazing review! you always make my day ♥

~Maia


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Review #13, by AphorideInvictus: Out of the night that covers me

13th October 2014:
Hey there! :) Dropping by for our review swap!

Can I just say first of all that I am so, so impressed and amazed by how you've managed to write Sirius - and so well! - in 500 words? I could never, ever do that, let alone half as well as this, so seriously, major kudos to you for that! :)

I love the way you've written him here, too. I love the idea of taking what seems like a relatively insignificant moment - him walking around outside Azkaban in England - and turning it into this beautiful remembrance almost of his friends and everything. It's just so gorgeous.

I loved how he was so taken away by the beauty of everything outside - simple things like flowers and grass and so on. I never really thought that much about what Azkaban would do to you like that, but now I've read this I can't really separate one from the other. I loved the references to pride, with him holding his head up, and the courage he has - fierce and reckless - displayed so well and so beautifully in this, with him shivering at the thought of night and forcing himself to know they won't be coming, as though he's forcing himself not to be scared.

The references to James and Lily and Harry and even Peter, and Remus were just so heartbreaking. It was so so sad to read about them from his point of view - about Peter's betrayal and what that caused, for James and Lily and Harry, and Remus too. There was this sort of tone of almost revenge under the surface, though I don't know if that was me reading into it (but I'm inclined to believe it was your writing) which I just loved, too.

The ending was just amazing. Seriously. I love anything with Blacks which references stars because why not, right? :P So yeah, it was just gorgeous. The whole thing was gorgeous - your writing is amazing :)

So yeah, I really loved reading this! Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph, thank you so much for this review. I didn't want to respond because it makes me so happy every time just looking at it. Thank you! *hugs*

I think you have probably written about as many words in this review as there are words in this chapter :o I'm Siriusly impressed. Yes, the pun is very terrible and very deliberate :P what can I say? I loved writing him.

You've picked up so much here. I am in awe of how much you've noticed. You've basically picked up on everything I was trying to put across, so I am now unbelievably happy. As for the stars, I'm so glad you liked that bit. I'm pretty sure it's compulsory to reference them when talking about the Blacks ;)

My heart goes out to you right now, it really does. Thank you so much for this amazing review, and for the swap!

Lottie


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Review #14, by AphorideHurricane Luna: They Love in a City

13th October 2014:
Hey there, Beth! Dropping by for the BvB review battle! :)

I love this story so much - it's such a brilliant way for Luna and Rolf to meet, and it's just so lovely and fluffy - totally unlike what I usually read, so it's such a great change from all of that! :)

Luna is just amazing. I loved how she was so excited to go to Paris, and she loved telling him about the city, even though she knew he was uncomfortable with it, she got him through it - I always got the impression she was really patient with him. She was so good with the kids as well - which I always imagined her to be, haha! She's exactly that type, you know, that kids just adore!

Their whole romance was gorgeous, too - I love how it was Paris they were visiting and it tied in with the whole love thing, with Luna saying 'the Rolf I know and love' and him being all like 'whaaa?' and then being all like 'I love... Paris' at the end. Wah, it's like they're both being really coy about it, but it's so clear to see in this. It's so, so lovely! Perfectly understated - it's just fact, you know? :)

Rolf, as always, is amazing. I loved here how you sort of brought out more of him than in other chapters, because this is the first one where we get to see him in a 'normal' setting. I loved how uncomfortable he was with other people and children and big cities - they're things I think a lot of people just sort of know how to deal with and don't think anything about, but for people who don't know... it can be pretty scary! At least, I imagine so and I grew up in a city! :) But yeah, he's just so lovely! So shy and sweet and... yeah, I just wanna hug him! :P

The kids were adorable. Perfectly written as well - which is really impressive, coz kids are hard to write! I loved the whole introduction to Harry and Ginny, and the kids (though not James? :P), and the idea of the magical creatures hidden in paintings and landmarks and things was so clever!

Your writing, as always, was lovely in this - I love the way you describe things especially. There's this lovely dreamlike, fantasylike quality to it that just fits the characters and this story so well.

So yeah, really enjoyed this, as always! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi there Aph. Eeep! I'm so glad you like this story - I know it's not to your taste and it is REALLY fluffy and sort of over the top with the animals, but I really did have a lot of fun writing it.

I was really going for dreamlike in this - each chapter has a very different setting. Paris is such a romantic city, I wanted the words to be sort of light and airy too.

Rolf just feels more comfortable in the wilderness. He finds people unpredictable and an entire city of them is very daunting indeed. But, it would seem, he is a little bit in love here. Maybe Luna is opening his eyes to a few things, huh?

Thanks so much for this completely lovely review. I'll have to check on James - did I forget to write him in? Oops, I'll have to fix that.

Thanks again, this review made my day!

♥ Beth


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Review #15, by AphorideResisting Ardour: Most Days, He Was Okay.

12th October 2014:
Hey there! Dropping by for Review Tag! :)

Okay, so I adore George/Angelina, and I love love love it when people don't make too big a thing out of the whole Fred situation, so this as a plot was pretty much perfect for me! :P

I loved how George was so torn up about the idea of sleeping with the girl his brother loved, even if he was dead - it shows this compassion and this love and still grief for Fred, which really gives an incredible depth to their relationship, you know? Also, it says a lot about George, that he's perhaps almost scared to care about her... I loved how Angelina sort of worked him through it, eventually just giving in at the party to telling him that it didn't matter, that she and Fred had broken up and loved each other as friends and that that was how Fred had loved her - it was like he really needed to hear that, almost like being given permission, except not, told that it was okay, almost... gah, not sure if I'm even making sense any more ;)

But no, the way you write George is amazing. Just so, so good!

Angelina was brilliant, too - I loved the way you described her, with a deep and mellow voice, and how she understood George and what he thought and that it would take time (well, it didn't in the end :P but she was willing to wait, if necessary). The little flare of anger when he just didn't get it as well was so brilliant - really reminded me of the fire we see from her in canon in book 5, you know? When she's so passionate and so determined and all...

Your details and descriptions were gorgeous. I loved all of the little asides George had, the way he spoke to Fred in the mirror, the way the end he saw Fred in his reflection, the little mentions of the lighting and the ring on Angelina's finger... it was all just so, so good! I'm almost annoyed I haven't read much of your writing before this because if it's this good I really should have!

I may have to stalk you in tag and see if I can catch you again :P I loved this to pieces! :)

Aph xx

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Review #16, by AphoridePainting Over: Painting Over

11th October 2014:
Hey there - dropping by from the BvB review battle! :)

So, Rita Skeeter is a really interesting character to choose for this - and not one you see people writing about a lot, so I just had to pop by on this one!

I love how you've written her here. The way that you don't tell us what happened to her, you sort of hint at it drop little bits of information about it so that we gather the picture slowly is just so good - it really sort of gives it this lovely, natural feel, like she is honestly thinking about it all and recollecting it. Such a great, clever way to do that! :) I really liked as well how you didn't sort of justify what she does with the papers and things, you just explained it, with her having this difficult, tragic past and sort of changing after that. I liked how she wasn't affected by what she wrote, how she wasn't all nice and everything, just tragic - it was such brilliant characterisation!

All the little references in this were so good, too - I loved the mention of her nail polish and not quite being able to get the spell perfectly right, and the rhinestone glasses and all. They just really added to the whole Rita sort of feel, you know, so that I think if you hadn't mentioned her name I'd have been able to guess who it was.

Your writing in this was lovely - so clear and precise, and with so many details. You have this lovely style which really showed here - and your description is gorgeous! Your writing really allows your characterisation to shine and your word choice is pretty much perfect! :)

Really enjoyed reading this - a really original story! :)

Aph xx

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Review #17, by AphorideDreams of Hope : Dreams of Hope

3rd October 2014:
Hi there - dropping by for the BvB review
battle! :)

Okay, so you should know that I love friendship
fics, and fics about relationships other than
romantic ones, because there's so much to
explore there - and so I was so excited to see
this on the top of your page, because it's just
so right up my street! :) Especially because
it's Remus and Dumbledore, and they're two of
my favourite characters, and I've always
wondered about how Remus came to teach and so
on...

I loved the way you had Remus asking for help,
but with that almost stiff, slightly
embarrassed air that he has in canon when he
has to ask for help and things, you know? I
love as well the idea that he spent so long
living off what he could before asking, as
well, almost like it was a last option for him
- it was such a great indicator of Remus'
pride, and embarrassment at his situation. Poor
man, he really does have this whole 'I'm-a-
burden' belief thing, doesn't he? :(

The way you had him so nervous about teaching
was great, too - I loved the mention of the
parents, what they'd think if they knew a
werewolf was teaching their children and all...
it's like this lovely little link to canon,
with how Remus gets fired and all.

Dumbledore was a great character, too - he was
so in character, with the way he was so
accepting and nice about Remus' condition, and
insistent on how he wants Remus to take the job
- so in line with how he is in the book and how
the Order are full of people who are on the
edges of society - and the quote you used just
suited him so well, and fitted in so perfectly
with the story!

Your writing is so lovely in this two - I loved
how simply you portrayed it and your
descriptions of Remus' emotions and everything
was so, so lovely. So good! :)

Such a lovely, sweet little story! It's really,
really great! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aphoride,
Thank you so much for reviewing. I don't often get reviews so when I get a long one like this it really makes my day. Thank you.

I am glad that you liked the way I portrayed Remus and Dumbledore. I try to keep my characters as close to canon as possible, so I'm glad that you said it fit. I was worried that people wouldn't like it.

Thanks again,
~Panda


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Review #18, by AphorideHere, There & Everywhere: Here, There and Everywhere

2nd October 2014:
Hey Jenna! :) Sorry this took a while to get to you - RL has been surprisingly busy, and more frustrating than I expected. Anyway, I'm here now and, er, have to find words to talk about this? :P

Because seriously, my gosh, this is amazing. Canon characters are terrifying to write because they're so easy to get wrong, and you have to get them right, and yet in this you just write both of them so, so easily. You must tell me your secrets! :P

I love how there's this beautiful tone of sweetness and a very deep, romantic love throughout this, and just such affection all the way through - like, you can tell they care about each other a lot, even when they're not together, and there's nothing sort of strained or soppy about it, you know? You say it like it's fact, they talk about it like it's fact, and, really, it is in this. It's just so gorgeous - an amazing way to present a relationship!

The inner depths you gave to both of them were amazing, too. I loved how Ron was a lot more caring than he seemed - the scoffing and rolling his eyes at things was almost a sort of bluster, even if he did get annoyed at things she did and said. But, I liked how it never really meant anything, you know? It was never so much about him being mean or rude to her, as it was about him being a bit irritated and sort of amused by it. I loved as well how he thought of himself as the knight - her knight, especially - it was just such a lovely, sweet touch and I loved how it linked all the way back to the first book when he literally is the knight. So clever!

Hermione was just as amazing. I loved the way you wrote her relationship with Victor into it - the idea of her kissing other people for practice, haha, such a Hermione idea! :P And I loved the little references about her being worried about her grades, and feeling that she doesn't belong in her parents' world any more, and telling him off for flinging the gnome... they're all so brilliant little details, they just bring her to life exactly as JKR wrote her. It's really, really incredible. I loved how you used the idea that she'd always fancied him, really, as well, with them both fancying each other for so long, and everyone around them knowing about it, and sort of encouraging them, but in the end letting them do it at their own pace. It was so funny - the idea of George (or was it Fred? :P) offering love potions to get it started made me laugh out loud! :D

I loved the theme of the months, as well - of July being 'their month', the time they have to spend together, just the two of them, being Ron-and-Hermione, instead of Harry's-best-friends. It was a lovely link to make, a great way to show the evolution of their relationship - and I loved how at the end, it became a month for everyone, with them sort of sharing it with everyone else. It made me sort of think that it was finally like they accepted their relationship, they knew what it was, and that was the point when they could share 'their time', but I dunno if that's sort of what you were going for...

Of course, as always, your writing is amazing. It's just so beautiful, and I loved how Ron and Hermione's thoughts were so similar, but easily distinguishable. The descriptions in this were gorgeous - particularly of the emotions, with the swooping and things. (My laptop has issues with copy-pasting atm, so I would post a quote, but alas :( )

This is just so, so lovely, and I'm so glad I got a chance to read it. Favouriting. Without question.

Aph xx

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Review #19, by AphorideGlass: Glass

29th September 2014:
Hey there! Sorry this is so late - I was making
dinner, and then my family called and I ended
up having long chat with them, but I'm here
now! :)

So, I have to say, I love your portrayal of
Teddy Lupin here. I love dark, unusual versions
of characters, and that's exactly what you've
done with him - turned the normal idea of a
happy, cheerful, popular Teddy on its head. I
love how he feels so much like a teenager, as
well - with the whole overload of angst and how
his feelings are so melodramatic, you know?
It's just so brilliant because it's exactly
like teenagers think, and it really gives such
an amazing insight into Teddy's mind. The
coldness, how he doesn't want to feel and
perhaps sometimes doesn't really feel the way
other people do, are such lovely little things,
too - he's such an original character! I know
I've said this a lot, haha, but it's true! :P

Dom was an interesting character, too. I
thought it a little strange how you described
her as haughty and almost very full of herself,
which suggests at at least a projected over-
confidence, and yet she has a stutter and in
all of her interactions with Teddy seems to
falter... it was an interesting combination of
things. I loved how you revealed at the end
that she understands him more than he thinks,
and how she struggles to feel in the same way
and doesn't want to feel in the same way... it
created this wonderful connection between them,
and this sort of bridge from which to build
understanding and friendship and so on, you
know? A really great little twist! :)

The only thing I'd say about this is that there
were a couple of times I got confused about the
scene change - time passing, especially. It
might be helpful to put in line breaks when the
changes happen, to make it clearer? Of course,
if you already have them in, feel free to
ignore me - I'm tired and I miss things easily
when I'm tired :P

Your writing in this is so good - I love the
way you use metaphors and description. It's so
evocative and sets the scene so well, with the
feeling of the water and the lights around and
making it all seem to real, like I could see it
in front of me.

So yeah, this was a really great one-shot - I
really enjoyed reading it! :) Again, sorry this
was late... :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by and don't worry about being late or anything like that! Family comes first!

So, I have read only a handful of stories that feature Teddy Lupin. I thought that it would be fun to turn him away from a goody goody because what's so great about a person that never makes any mistakes? I love writing characters that my readers might not even really like as a person but still understand them to some degree.

I was worried that it wouldn't come across very well though but you guys have been great! :D I think that Teddy has a lot of problems going on at the moment and I'm glad that they were realistic for you guys. I wanted to make him seem as original and real as I could but I worried that you all would find it a bit much.

Now, Dom on the other hand is someone that I wasn't sure if I would write very well at all. Teddy views her a lot differently than she does and while it's a bit odd at times, he thinks that her lack of emotion makes her arrogant. Dom though is the only one who knows how it feels to be a complete outcast and they were able to have a connection with that.

I think that I messed up on the second half of the chapter. It was taking me a long time to get back into the swing of things but the transitions were just a few hours at most, not an entire day. I could have wrote that better, though. Hahahahah.

Ah, thank you so much! I wanted you all to be able to feel and see every little thing and I'm glad that that worked. :D

Thanks so much for the great review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #20, by AphorideAlright, Alright: Alright, Alright

27th September 2014:
Hey there! Dropping by for our review swap! :)

So, you should know that I love Death Eater-
centric stories, particularly ones which don't
show them all the time as horrible, evil people
- because people don't work quite like that,
everyone has some 'good' qualities, even if
they're overshadowed. I loved how with
Rabastan, there's this lovely sense that he
genuinely believes in this creepy, twisted
utopia - he really, really believes it's the
best thing for the world, that it's right - and
it's actually kinda sad to see, really, in a
way. But I love the fanaticism coming through
as the story goes on, and how he doesn't get
why she seems to be, in his eyes, failing to
get bits of the theory and things. Plus, how
Emmeline would describe him as so sweet and
kind and gentle - it's really such a
counterpoint to what we know of him in the
books, and what he goes on to do for Voldemort.
It really shows a different side, this sort of
almost earnest young man, who winds up becoming
a violent killer. It kind of puts this tragic
sort of vein all the way through it...

Emmeline is great, too! I loved her naivety at
the beginning, how she was so sure as well as
Rab was that these dreams would be best, this
world would be perfect, and how she was sort of
blinded by liking him, by the fact he was so
nice to her. You don't make her out to be
stupid, as well, which I loved: it's just that
she doesn't really quite understand how it
would work, this new world, and so when she
does, she rejects it because of the
consequences and what would have to happen to
get there. Again, it really helps build this
sort of bittersweet relationship between them -
and you know it can't last, but you almost want
it to, because the ideas are so beautiful and
Emmeline really wants them to happen.

Kudos to you for your writing in this, as well
- the way you build up the dreams as so
wonderful and perfect, and then break them down
bit by bit and gradually reveal Rab's 'other'
side, I guess, and the truth about the new
world he wants. You paint the picture of it all
so, so well and you're so cruel to almost make
me hope in the middle that things might turn
out alright. Of course, they don't :(

James and Lily and Sirius were great supporting
characters, too - I like the way they were
trying to persuade her to see the other side of
the utopia, but ultimately they couldn't
persuade her, but they stood by her in the end
when she realised it on her own. There's such a
strong, lovely friendship there, between them
all, and I loved it! :)

So yeah, this was a great, great one-shot, and
I love that this is only the first bit of
Rab/Emmeline things you're writing, because
they're such a fascinating pair - particularly
the way you've written them here! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

Thank you so, so much for such an in-depth review! It means a lot. I thought this out very carefully, from their thoughts and feelings to the way that Rab was twisted and manipulative, and Emmeline was naive. James and Sirius were written a bit different, and some people didn't like it, but I am so relieved that you find them supportive rather than OOC.

Thanks so so much! This was such an amazing review!

-Leigh


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Review #21, by AphorideA Time of Heartache and Healing: Failure

26th September 2014:
Hey Erica! Dropping by from review tag - I never can resist a bit of Molly/Arthur! Such a cute couple! :D

I love the way you're tackling such a hard topic, and the two of them at such a difficult, defining time, being pretty much straight after Fred's death. The way you showed the emotions in an everyday situation was so gorgeous - with Molly noticing her age and feeling she looks old, and that Arthur seems a bit withdrawn and almost lost. The whole thing just had this beautiful note of grief through it - it was so subtle and yet so, so effective. I really felt it, you know?

They were both so on point, as well - so close to their canon counterparts that frankly I'm jealous! :P Molly and Arthur are such intimidating characters and you do them so easily! I loved how even without referring to the things we know most about them from canon - Arthur's muggle obsession and Molly's love of rules/order and cooking - they were still definably them. It was so, so good!

Two quick things, just coz they're easily changeable: you kept missing off the apostraphe in Arthur's (for example), and Molly's brothers were called Fabian and Gideon and died in the war. Technically, it's not mentioned which side Bilius was an uncle on, but I know Molly's brothers were mentioned... though, of course, since it's vague, it's up to you ;)

Your writing was so lovely - and I loved how it was such a simple scene too. Not much action, but there didn't really need to be, you know? I think much more action with the emotions would probably have made it feel like too much! This is a pretty unique idea, too, dealing with characters dealing with the death of a relative - I haven't read that many like that, particularly not about the Weasleys!

So yeah, this is a really heartbreaking, sweet story, and I will have to look out for you in tag again to come back in the future! :)

Aph xx

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Review #22, by AphorideButterfly Effect: Chapter 2

2nd September 2014:
Hey there, dropping by for the Blue v Bronze Review Battle! :)

So I know you wanted a review on We Are One, but I do love this story and so I wanted to come back here instead, so I hope that's okay! :)

I love how Jenna's so worried about her dad and about failing and forgets things when she's distracted, like thinking about her dad or failure or the cute boy, haha. They're such human traits and not always the usual ones you see in an OC, so I really like that. She's a very human, very real character, and her reactions, and those of her friends are so good. Like, when Lily had to be persuaded to go and talk to her again - that happens all the time when two people feel wronged, whether friends or not!

The bit about her dad was so sad, too, though I like how you stated it almost calmly, not focusing too much on it. It gave the impression of almost normalcy, you know, which makes it even more frightening and overwhelming for her to have to deal with. You just kinda wanna hug her and her dad and convince them it'll all be alright, you know?

The story her friends told - Emily and Lisa - was really funny. I have friends who do that interjecting, interrupting thing too, haha, and my sisters do it as well, so it really reminds me of real life, you know? Which is great! Also, it was a nicely low-key way to bring up the romantic entanglements, you know, with two people just getting together, having I'm guessing liked each other for a while... it was just really, really sweet :)

Poor Jenna, though - you always make me feel sorry for her, no matter what happens! :P But she's an amazing character, and your writing in this is so good - so evocative and emotional. It's lovely!

So glad I came back to read this :)

Aph xx

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Review #23, by AphorideHurricane Luna: They Fall in a Cave

29th August 2014:
Hi Beth! :) Sorry for a slight delay in getting to this - family called for dinner, so I had to go!

I really wanted to come back to this story as soon as you posted, because there's something so lovely and so funny about the way you write both Luna and Rolf. The way they interact together is so fresh and has this sense of wonder and slight confusion about it all, haha, with this wonderful curiosity too. Despite it all, they just click, you know, and it's so, so great!

I gotta say, before anything else, that I love all the animals and things you come up with in this. They're all so fascinating and interesting and really seem like they could all be part of the HP world, you know. Plus, most of the creatures wouldn't be too impossible in real life, either, given how weird some of the animals around are :P

Luna is so like her canon self its amazing - I love how ditsy she is and all the little remarks she comes out with like about animal's feelings and so on, but how she has these brilliant moments where she's surprisingly lucid, and yet she understands how to act and so on throughout it. Like, she doesn't ever really do anything stupid, you know? And she's so calm and collected, but so happy constantly.

Rolf is so lovely, too. I feel a bit sorry for him, though, being tailed by Luna, haha, though it's not so bad for him, after all, seeing as he likes her... I mean, tolerates her :P I loved the little hints you put in this about how he liked her and things - like the yellow glowing creatures and her hair being blonde, and so on. It was just so sweet and really made his crush for her sort of almost subconscious - like he didn't even need to think about it, it just was. It was so, so great! :)

Your writing as well is lovely. You have this way of writing action which is just so engrossing, and you manage humour brilliantly (I admit I'm a bit jealous of this - I'm so rubbish at humour, it's unreal :P). Your word choice is great, your descriptions of the creatures and surroundings and things are so, so gorgeous.

I'm so so glad I got a chance to come back to this - it's such an honestly lovely story, and it never fails to make me smile.

Thanks so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph,

Sorry it took me so long to respond to this completely AMAZING review!!! Wow. I'm just grinning from ear to ear over this.

Coming up with the creatures was really fun. But I'm so excited to hear that you see them as fitting into the HP universe. I wasn't sure if they came off as too absurd or not.

Also I'm squeeing over how you like my Luna. I was nervous to write her - she's LUNA, after all - but I'm really having a good time telling this little love story. Of course, Luna and Rolf wouldn't ever have a typical love story, now would they?

I also really wanted Rolf to be nearly opposite Luna and we all know she is never going to change, so he has to be the one to come around.

Thanks again for these lovely, kind words! I've kinda put this story on the back burner, but now I'm thinking about it again!

♥ Beth


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Review #24, by AphorideDoing the Right Thing: Doing the Right Thing

29th August 2014:
Hey there! :) Okay, so Draco is one of those characters I find really interesting but have never written because there's already so much written about him, haha, and it's unusual to see something written about him which explores choice, even though it's such an interesting element of his character.

So yeah, basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you asked me to read this because it's a really interesting premise and I probably would have picked it anyway ;)

I really love you portrayed him in this. There was this sense of determination that he was going to prove himself, that he wanted to, almost, which I loved - it really sort of reminded me that he was raised to be a Death Eater, in a way, and he was raised by people who were. I love as well how you then bring in sort of the hesitation and the weakness again, which really reminded me of the tower and made me feel a bit sorry for him. Poor boy - he's really not in the right career, is he? :P He just can't kill anyone. What I liked, though, was that how on the tower he was so cowardly and nervous and afraid, but here he seemed more grown-up and ready to back his own decisions, whatever they were. It seemed more indecision about what to do rather than absolute panic, I thought.

Okay, so I loved, as well, how you touched on Draco's relationships with his parents as well, and sort of contrasted them to each other. How he doesn't really seem too fond of his father (somewhat understandably, imo) but loves his mother and wants to make her proud. It's such a real relationship you made here, in not many words either, and I loved it. The little mention of Dumbledore's belief that he had a choice and had believed in him was so good, too, and I liked how it was sort of in memory of that and for his mother that he makes the choice. It's such a big choice, but you don't overplay it, either, and you leave it on a cliffhanger, as well, just after the choice is made which is very sneaky of you ;) Albeit, a brilliant ending for this piece.

So yeah, I really liked this. Your writing was so lovely, as well - so clean and neat (if that makes sense...) and you had such a lovely flow and balance of internal thoughts and the physical actions.

Thank you so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

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Review #25, by AphorideHear us Roar: If All Time is Unredeemable

29th August 2014:
Hey there! :) You know, I don't usually read Marauders Era fics - trouble of having too much headcanon for Sirius :P - but this seems so, so different to most Marauders fics I see around and have read. Like, seriously, it's awesome.

I love how you emphasise the darkness of the times that the world - and Ivy especially - faced during the war and so on. Right from the beginning, it doesn't sound or seem like it's going to be a sweet, happy story about kids growing up and finding love and all that kind of stuff - there's going to be war, and death and other horrible things, and I love that you've included that in such a prominent way. It's one of those things I always miss in Marauders fics :P

Ivy seems like such a well rounded out character, too. I saw from the summaries (coz I'm sneaky like that ;D) that the next chapter goes back in time so I'm curious to know how she changed into this version of herself, but she's so... affected. You know, she's obviously been on the run for a long time, and in a bad place for a long time and seen and perhaps done some really horrible things. It's such a true presentation of someone who's been through trauma and paranoia and is then found. It was all the little things, too - the way she shrank back from being touched, the way she was terrified and assumed it was an attack even with the knocks... just so, so good!

I loved how McGonagall came to get her, too. Often people forget about the professors and adults in fics, haha, so I'm so glad to see her here! Plus, she's McGonagall - she's awesome :P You write her so brilliantly, as well - I'm envious!

The one thing I noticed, which I thought I'd mention was that you repeat the word 'little' a lot at the beginning of the fourth paragraph. You might want to change two of them to different words, to make it flow better ;)

This was gorgeous, though. Your writing is really evocative and so beautiful and has such flow and pace and style, and you had some really, really lovely phrases. I particularly loved 'a map of a life she had led' - just brilliant! :)

So yeah, I really, really enjoyed this and I'm so glad you swapped because otherwise I might never have read this and it would have been an absolute shame. Favouriting :D

Aph xx

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