Reading Reviews From Member: iLuna17
  
43 Reviews Found

Review #1, by iLuna17Werewolf's Trace: Wolves for Conformity

3rd May 2013:
Hello, again!

I really like Molly as a character. :) She's the perfect mix of 'daisy chain' and fighter, which definitely makes for an interesting combination. I love how we can see her struggling against what Percy wants and what she wants already, and how he is probably the main reason that her feet are planted firmly on the ground when she doesn't want them to be. One small note: I love all the character descriptions, but it might be useful to show more, instead of tell.

I also like Scorpius. He's adjusting well, and his lion is starting to roar (well, at this point it's more of rawr') inside. As always, I'm curious to see more of Dom and Al (though I did like him defending Scorpius in the last chapter). Keep it up, while I go to my next lesson >.

Author's Response: thanks so much for the review and feedback- as always, they make my day! Molly is one of my characters that I relate to most, and so I'm thrilled that you like her. I'll definitely try to do more showing than telling. And as for Scorpius, his lion is getting there. Plenty of Dom and Al coming up! :) Thanks so much for reviewing!!!
~M


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Review #2, by iLuna17Werewolf's Trace: Wolf Pack

24th April 2013:
Eep. I'm loving this. :)

I don't know where to start, so I'll start where I know best: Slytherin. I love, love, love the dynamic you've set up here for the house. The family bit was especially powerful, but I love it's different from what Sheriff (and me) have written. You paint a slightly more ruthless Slytherin, which I liked. The hazing especially, teaching them to be tough in a different way.

Okay, now I get to comment on Dom. I think you've really started to flesh her out - I love that you mentioned and showed more of her vulnerable side in this one, especially when dealing with a first year, and also her own weaknesses. It'll be interesting to see how much more she can last.

And now I'm cut off short again as I rush off to another lesson. >.<

Ellie

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review! and I'm so incredibly glad that you like this story :) Though I love your Slytherin, I feel as though Slytherin wouldn't take any nonsense from anyone lying down (particularly Dom, who has a bit of veela and a bit of werewolf in her).
I can't stand Mary-Sue-esque fan-fics and so I'm really trying to show Dom as a more 3-dimensional character, and I'm glad it appears to be working.
Again, thank you so much for your review!
~M


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Review #3, by iLuna17Werewolf's Trace: Wolves, Ferrets, Lions and Badgers

21st April 2013:
I'm liking where you're going with this. :)

I don't have much time - I'm rushing to type this before I have to leave - but I really do wonder where this is going. You have so many characters, and I'll admit I'm mainly worried about Dom and Albus. I want to know what happens to them, and just how much the Gryffindors can get underneath McGonagell's nose. Looking forward to more (perhaps longer?) chapters.

Ellie

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm building it up slowly (too slowly perhaps?) and I know I probably should have merged the last two chapters into one but it felt weird lumping them together. I have a long chapter in queue now that is filled to the brim with dommyness.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!
~M


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Review #4, by iLuna17Snake Bites: VYY

18th April 2013:
Another brilliant chapter. I'm not sure if I'm reading too far into this, but I had a small internal sob when Teddy knocked over the umbrellas. Tonks...

But to focus on the majority of the chapter... this was a really fascinating one. I love how you incorporated genetics, and when he introduced the superman syndrome with Louis my brain went 'of course'. It was a really good blend of Muggle and magic, and I thought the idea in itself was brilliant.

You also got me with the Kevin plot twist. My draw just about hit the keyboard, because well, just wow. Your plots always amaze me... they're so complicated and intricately woven throughout all these eras and characters and the plot twists just keep coming.

Also, an official *hug* for all of them. I may do a lot of physical damage to my characters, but your mental is making me very sad for them. (shocking, yes, I do have feelings for characters :D)

Thanks for another great chapter. I would write more, but the loveliness of school beckons.

Ellie

Author's Response: Yeah, you got the umbrella reference. Can't remember the last time I read that, but it stuck in the memory when it came to writing that little vignette.

I've enjoyed the way that these two plots (Kevin and DNA) have been rumbling in the background for much of this story - Kevin very subtly so, and the DNA more significantly, to appear as reasonably natural progressions rather than forced plot twists. I figure that it was pretty much the perfect time to do the Kevin reveal.

You'll be pleased (/saddened) to know that the next chapter is going to be a lot more exploration of Albus/Harry's relationship, and Louis trying to come to terms with VYY. No more major plot twists (I think), but it may be a couple of weeks before anything gets published: I too am now back to school with a vengeance.

PS Don't be ridiculous; of course this doesn't make RTS "look like crap"!


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Review #5, by iLuna17Snake Bites: Muggle Studies

13th April 2013:
As always, you leave me waiting eagerly for the next chapter, especially in a chapter that advances the plot as much as this. Gah, so much happened that I don't know what to say.

I noticed in Keith's review that he mentioned the fact that Charlie has a magical signature, and I was wondering what would happen in this chapter, and I'm still curious as to what Michael and Philip will turn up. My best guess is that he's descended from a Squib or something of the sort, but I'm also almost positive that that's wrong.

I absolutely smiled when I read Albus talking about his father. I love all of the exploration into their relationship, and how Albus is realizing some of his father's faults. I wonder if a possible confrontation will come on that front, or if Albus will let it all build inside of himself. I don't think he'd ever forgive himself or Harry if something happened to Connor or Charlie.

Ooh, Connor. I just want to give him such a huge hug. For what happened in his Muggle life and for now, because I really can't see him Obliviated. That would be horrible, and the boys...

I also feel really bad for Louis right now. I feel like the fact that he's part Veela is really hurting him; he can't help his friend by contributing to research, he's being picked apart by the papers, and just... gah. I just wonder how much more he can take. How much more they can all take.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter,
Ellie

Author's Response: Well, Ch26 has just gone into the queue so you don't have long to wait... and I promise I'm now answering more questions than asking new ones. Except for the whole Albus/Harry subplot that you have made my brain generate, creating extra scenes and making 30 chapters look increasingly possible.

Have to say I'm worried that you want to hug Connor. Given what your track record is in terms of what first-years have to endure, I must be being really harsh on him...

Thanks as always for reviewing

Neil


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Review #6, by iLuna17Snake Bites: Ministry Protocol

8th April 2013:
Ooh, this has to be one of my favourite chapters yet (and I apologize for any typos once again - it's only 11:00 but Tchaikovsky has killed my brain). I don't even know where to start.

I can't tell you how much I loved the scene between Albus and his dad. He's so different (like Greg said) from the boy at the beginning of the story, scared to speak out of turn. He stood up for his friends in front of all the Aurors, and his father no less! I know it sounds silly, but I'm proud that he did that. I'm just wondering if it will come back to bite him in the butt eventually...

Another thing I keep forgetting to say is the dynamic between the four. You've shown such brilliant character development, especially in a horrible situation like this. They've went from (for lack of a better word) hating each other to bloody taking on the wizard cops together, consequences be, erm, darned. (forgot about the no swearing in reviews for a sec)

You cover such heavy topics for so young of students, and it never ceases to amaze me. I don't know how I slipped off the grid when every chapter leaves me hoping for another update. (and Slytherins Stick Together is just perfect. Can never get over that line, no matter how many times it's said)

What I found really interesting was the melding of all three eras - Harry's, Greg's, and now Dan, Nathan, Louis, and Al's. You wove their plots together so brilliantly, and even as you age the characters, they're still them. It was in the little things, like Greg's slight awkwardness but stubborn loyalty to his students, and Lucas's slight dry humour that just made me smile. It's hard to write young characters, but even harder to make them still them when they're older.

Overall, just brilliant. I can't wait for 25 to be through the queue!

Ellie

Author's Response: Thanks very much :-)

I'm glad you're really enjoying it and appreciating all the effort that's gone in to drawing the plotlines and characterisations together across the generations. It's not been easy, but it's really encouraging to read that it's working.

It's now 3:04am and I've just finished my first draft of C26, which really puts several of the boys (not to mention grown-ups) through the mill. You've also inspired me to go into rather more depth in the Harry/Albus relationship. That boy is developing a stubborn streak.

Sheriff


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Review #7, by iLuna17Snake Bites: Dominoes

7th April 2013:
And here is the real review I owe you.

I always find myself amazed when I read your stories. They're just so genuine, in everything. You don't sugarcoat anything, and all of the emotion is so raw it's hard to fathom this didn't actually happen. I still don't understand how you manage to capture children who are only 11 so brilliantly.

Another thing I can't wrap my head around is how you manage so many plots at once. From Louis and his veela issues (very curious to see where that goes) to Albus and his family, and that of Greg, not to mention Connor and Charlie, you have so many things going on, but it's never too much. And they're all intertwined somehow, which I find t be brilliant.

Speaking of, I'm very curious to see where Albus's plot goes. Not just because of the fact he's my favourite character of the next gen, but because he's so different than I've seen him in any other story.

Overall, I'm waiting anxiously to see what happens next. I hope they're all right, and I promise I will be so much better about reviewing

Ellie (p.s. sorry if there's typos - on my phone)

Author's Response: Thanks :-)

I'm pretty dreadful at descriptive background and scene-setting, so if I didn't have the raw emotion, there wouldn't be much plotline left.

To answer the questions... well, when you work with children on a daily basis you get a pretty good idea of how they're going to react; you need to have if you want to get them to do something... as for the plotlines, well, (i) a big spreadsheet and (ii) way more chapters than I originally intended. They are all at least in the same room now, which is helping me reduce the number of disconnects between the plots. Do let me know if anyone remains frustratingly unresolved.

Glad you like my Albus. Would like to think I have him captured as a normal, flawed, but ultimately well-meaning 11 year old kid who's struggling in the shadow of father, cousins and brothers, but giving it a damn good shot.

C24 has just been validated and C25 is in the queue. Now to go read RTS 19...!

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #8, by iLuna17Snake Bites: Coincidences and Consequences

7th April 2013:
I'm stopping here to leave a much deserved, and beyond excusably late review. (but that's what I get for dropping off the grid)

I can't get over how much I love your stories. Not only do you capture eleven-year-olds perfectly, you throw them into these horrible situations (I'm one to talk) and make it completely realistic and just great. I'm really curious to see where this is going not only with the SoS, but with the Slytherins. I'm not sure exactly how much prejudice remains as of yet, but I want to see if they can continue with their resilience or if they reach a breaking point.

Overall, I am loving it, and I'm truly sorry for not reviewing for so long. Keep it up!

Ellie

Author's Response: Thanks :-)

As for prejudice, well it remains in pockets - it never really goes away in some quarters, I suppose...

Sheriff


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Review #9, by iLuna17Werewolf's Trace: Lone Wolf

4th April 2013:
Hello again.

Though this is a rather short beginning, I am really loving where this is going. I practically squeed when you said Slytherin was the most unified, but the most discriminated against, house. Made my day.

I really want to see how you develop your characters, too. Dominique seems really confident and calm about the entire thing, but I wonder how much of that is a mask... I also want to know what she and her friends (particularly the twins) are like, and how they react to this discrimination.

However, I am most curious about James. I'll just leave it at that. Looking forward to reading more!

Ellie

Author's Response: Dominique is the most calm on the outside but when she gets mad, she gets really mad.
Sylvester and Sebastian aren't twins- sorry if that was unclear. Seb and Dom are both fourth years, and Sylvester and Lysander are both fifth years. I've got another chapter in queue, and a third that I'm working on.
Thank you SO much for your review- it totally made my day (and gave me so much to think about while I write chapter 3!)
~M


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Review #10, by iLuna17Playing Marauders: Playing Marauders

3rd April 2013:
Hi. :)

I really, really liked this. It's so hard to get into the mind of a character that young, but you managed it really well. I think the betrayal of James, especially of how he's probably thinking, was extremely accurate. It's been ingrained into his brain that Slytherins are betraying and evil, and so now Dom is alone and scared.

I'd really love to see more of these characters. While a fair amount can be inferred based on the few short scenes and their houses, I really want to see them become more... 3D. The little things, you know? How their body language says some things, their faces, and their little quirks.

Of course, I loved the theme of this. The abandonment when the hat calls out Slytherin, and it leaves me wondering how Dom will react. Sometimes houses can change personalities, and I want to know just how prejudiced the universe you created is.

If you decide to continue this, I would love to see more!

Ellie (also I found Charlie calling Dom 'D' kind of funny, as I as thinking about Dudley and 'Big D')

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review- i'm so glad you like it! I'm working on a sequel fic (which will be longer), that takes place during Dominique's 4th year and Albus's first year. my first chapter is in the queue, and should be up soon- it's called No Second Chances.
Also, i didn't even think about Dudley, but that is funny now that you mention it :)
~Mara


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Review #11, by iLuna17Fear: Fifth

3rd October 2012:
Wow. This was intense. :)

There was so much development here ... I loved, loved, loved the Gavin/Meg here; I think my heart broke a little for both of them. Just ... wow.

I wonder how they'll test fear, though . and how the other couples are handling it. A little insight to a certain Potter couldn't help. :D Sorry, habit.

Amazing chapter. You're a brilliant writer. :)
Ellie

Author's Response: This chapter was by far my favourite to write- and /not/ for the Mevin moment. Obviously. :D
It's not obvious how they'll be tested, it took a lot of thinking and I hope you'll like it!
Haha! I think I will make all of them talk and chat together- And I promise you there will be more Albus. :P
:O Aw, really? Thank you thank you thank you so so so much!! C:
xo


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Review #12, by iLuna17Fear: Fourth.

20th September 2012:
Personally, I'm rooting for Albus right now, but this chapter is really funny to me for a relation to RL right now. My best friend's name is Gavin, and he just asked me to homecoming :), so I just kept thinking of the dinner as the dance, lol. So sorry about that. (And I run cross.) I'm done now, I swear.

I don't know whether to feel bad for Meg or Gavin. Meg for all that pressure put on her, but Gavin because of Albus. But ... Albus. :) Urgh. I don't know who's better for her yet, but I know the challenges will change everything. Will it start next chapter?

Brilliant job. :) Can't wait for the next chappie.

Ellie

Author's Response: That's a coincidence! Aw! Well, hope you have fun with him whenever the dance is! :D I live in England and go to an all girls school so now dances for me D: Oh well, haha.
Yes, they definitely well! They'll change everything in a very /MAJOR/ way. Like seriously. SUCH A BIG CHANGE.
/I/ like both of them for her. Gavin brings out her sweet side, but Albus brings out the animal in her. Rawr. ;) I can't decide either but I've already planned out who she's with. :D
They'll start in about 3-4 chapters. The next few is just all of them together and 'preparing' for the test.
Thank you so much! I'm still writing it (this is one going to be /LONG/) but it'll be up by the weekend, hopefully!
xo


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Review #13, by iLuna17Fear: Third.

14th September 2012:
Wow. I loved the development in this chapter. :)

Meg is really starting to grow, isn't she? She's coming out of her shell. And the Mevin moment? (Yes, I did just name the ship). That was really, really cute. I want to hear more about Albus, though ... ;)

I'm also really apprehensive about this challenge. It has that 'Hunger Games' sense of doom . really nice things, but then *shudders*. I want to know!

I'm also curious as to Gavin's emotional moment . why? Thanks for an amazing chapter, and please update soon!

Ellie

Author's Response: And I really love your reviews! Like, seriously. They are so encouraging!
Haha! Mevin. That is brill. I was thinking of a ship name too...I thought Gag...But that sounds stupid so I stuck with Mevin. :P
Yes! I promise promise promise I will put more Albus!
;) You'll see soon why he was being emotional.
Thank /you/ for the review! I'm off to write the next chapter now. C:
xo


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Review #14, by iLuna17Fear: First.

26th August 2012:
This is certainly interesting. :)

There's not much information now, but I can't wait to see where this goes. Meg holds a lot of promise; she's not a Mary-Sue, and she's very intriguing. I look forward to more of her relationship with Gavin. *winkwink* I'm guessing that they are meant to end up in couples, based on the boy-girl pairings?

I also can't wait to see more Albus. I always love more Albus.

Sorry. I'm being weird. Great story! :D
Ellie

Author's Response: You aren't being weird at all! I really hate Mary-Sues, so I tried to make her anything but one! Haha! Maybe...You never know what could happen! ~winkwink ;D
I'm waiting for the next chapter to be validated, and there is more Albus in that one. Everyone loves Albus! :P Thank you for the review!
xo


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Review #15, by iLuna17In Her Absence: The Platform

20th August 2012:
I totally missed the last chapter. My apologies for that. :(

Things are starting to build up. It's small, but I can sense that the plot is starting to go into motion. As for the prewrittten chapters; please don't make the mistakes I do. I started posting quicker and am now struggling to keep up. Keep it the same. :)

I really like Roxy from the last chapter, by the way. Still waiting to see more of Lily ... Great job, though! :D

Ellie

Author's Response: It's cool! You review when you can, I'm not offended when you don't. :)

Ooh, yes. The buildup is getting to be quite interesting. Everyone plays an important part in the family at some point as you'll soon find out.

Prewrittens, er, I kind of have a lot. Two NaNos and I'm almost done with it. (Chapter 60, if you can believe it!) I just want to do what you guys prefer. The next one will be up on Monday, though.

Thanks as always for your lovely review!


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Review #16, by iLuna17In Her Absence: Go Home

6th August 2012:
AAHH! I'm so sorry I forgot to review the last chapter. It's just RL, and running, and writing, and modly duties on other sites caught up with me.

/crappy explanation

I'm really intrigued. I can see the beginnings of foreshadow, and really, really want to know where all this is going. (and I'm frankly shocked by the lack of response this story has gotten. Remind me to mention you when I next post something, lol, though I don't know how much help I'd be :/. )

What I really want to see is more of James and Al. I'd also like to see Lily start to become a person, you know? I know you said that it would happen, and I can't wait to see who she really is.

Thanks a mil for the update, and I promise to be a better reader/reviewer! :D

Ellie

Author's Response: I'm glad you're liking it so far! It's the first time I've ever tried something like this and I'm not too sure how I'm pulling it off sometimes.

There will be more Al and James as they're easier to write than the adults, but the adults will begin to get their own plots as well. I'm trying to keep it kind of equal. As for Lily becoming a true character, I've been working hard on that, but it's one of the more difficult aspects of this story.

I hope you like where it goes in the next few chapters. And it's no problem, haha. RL is always more important than anything else. Don't worry about it. You're the best reader/reviewer I have! :)

The next chapter will, as always, be up on Monday. Thanks for leaving such a lovely review!


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Review #17, by iLuna17Intoxicating: Traitor

4th August 2012:
I'm not ashamed to say I was dreading this from the moment I heard they were going on a picnic. :) I started putting the pieces together from the memories; he was in the woods, Arabella's odd dream (the one mentioned about in the chapter). And then when the parents were gone ... I knew whatever it was Arabella had been predicting was going to happen.

In short, you need to update soon!!! I need to know what happens! Amazing story, though. :D

Ellie

Author's Response: PICNICS ARE AMAZING, but not in this case of course ;)

you are a class A detective, and in the next couple of chapters, more of her predictions are going to be revealed, so get ready ;)

n'awww i'll make sure to update really soon, thank you so much ellie! :) x


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Review #18, by iLuna17We Will Remember: We Will Remember

29th July 2012:
Wow. Just ... wow. It was poignant, respectful, and all around just lovely. :) I always fear that the younger generations will forget what has been fought for, and the cost of it. The idea of a memorial service is brilliant.

Great job!
Ellie

Author's Response: Thankyou so much! I am smiling so much right now :D I loved writing it and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. I'm also really happy that you read something of mine - I love your writing so much!

Alex :D


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Review #19, by iLuna17In Her Absence: Talking to a Reporter

23rd July 2012:
Ooh ... things are starting to heat up. Especially with James. I'm wondering why he's so angry ...

I do have a note, though. You're kind of ... objectifying Lily. I think it could really help if we saw what Lily was like, because right now we have no idea who she is or why she might be gone.

But back to James. Does he know something? I'm wondering with the bit with Lorcan ... why was Al so keen to talk to him?

Ahhh. So many questions! Great chappie, though, and keep it up! :D

Ellie

Author's Response: Yes, Lily is being objectified at this point in the story. That will slowly begin to change though as the characters themselves stop objectifying her. =)

And yes, James is quite angry! He's one of my favorite characters to write. I hope the next chapter will answer some of your questions, but if they were all answered I wouldn't have a story left!

Haha, thanks for your reviews, they're all really special to me!


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Review #20, by iLuna17In Her Absence: Malfoy Manor

16th July 2012:
Ooh. This is definitely heating up. I think you captured Harry just right; the anger, for certain. :) I'm knee deep in work so I can't leave a better review, but I'm wondering if Scorpius will come up later in the story ...

Ellie

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked how I portrayed Harry. His is definitely a difficult character. And as for Scorpius, well, he might be around. ;)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #21, by iLuna17In Her Absence: Except Malfoy

9th July 2012:
Wow. Everything is starting to progress, and I really want to know more! I love James's character; he just seems like the type to hold the Potters together, when Lily's gone. But now I'm wondering if Lily's even alive .


Anyways, brilliant job, adn I can't wait to read more!
Ellie

Author's Response: There's more happening in these next couple chapters, but I can't reveal more than that! As to Lily, well, we'll just have to wait and see. I do feel so bad for her at times.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #22, by iLuna17Blood stains, blood stains on the floor: Forgotten and lost, but in the end... Found.

6th July 2012:
Wow, I don't know why this story has gotten so little of a response.

Being into D/A myself, I really loved this fic. Dominique was anything but Mary-Sue, she had her flaws like the rest of us. I quite liked her character; Lord knows I'm the queen of awkward.

I also liked the mention of perfection in the Wotter family. It seems like the Next Gen. would be under an insane amount of pressure to look and be perfect, and I'm glad you showed some of that. :)

But the thing that I loved the most was the ending. It makes me want to know more; how would Logan hurt her. I really want to hear more about this.

Overall, just brilliant. Brilliant characterization, brilliant idea, and brilliant wording. :D Can't wait to read more of your other work!

Ellie

Author's Response: Oh my gosh. I just... you really like my work? Thank you. Thank you SO SO much for this. I'll write more I promise. Just wow. Thank you for your kind words. Just... you're amazing. Honestly. I'll write more. And if it's the last thing I'll do :)

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Review #23, by iLuna17In Her Absence: Where's Dad?

2nd July 2012:
I really like this story. The Potter family doesn't seem to be the type to deal with these things well; with all that Weasley anger and Potter angst in them. I wonder where you're going to take this story ... is there something dark going on? I can't really tell yet.

Keep it up!
Ellie

Author's Response: Aw thanks for the review! No, they really aren't well equipped for drama...and as for the dark stuff, you'll just have to wait and see!

I'll be posting the next chapter on Monday.


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Review #24, by iLuna17Snake Bites: 1692

16th May 2012:
First off, I have to say: I love Neil. He's the perfect history teacher; I hope you have more of him. I love the Salem Witch incorporation with the Statue, and how 'book smarts' wasn't everything to him. I really want to see more of him/the class.

As for our four slippery friends ... I really like Louis. Nathan I'm not to sure about, but Louis seems like the best one. Nice, intelligent, and the 'just do it' line at the end seems to say exactly what the Slytherins did in LEBS.

I'm also wondering to see what will happen with Quidditch. I don't think all four will make the team, but I'm wondering if any of them will.

Overall, very interesting chapter. I'm still gushing over Neal, because I really want him as my history teacher now. :)

Keep it up!
Ellie

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I really enjoyed writing that classroom scene - rather built on what my ideal of an "outstanding lesson" (to quote the UK Schools Inspectors) should look and feel like - going beyond the textbook and challenging a deeper understanding.

I'm pretty sure Louis hasn't been written much like this before - but hey, I'm happy with how he's turning out. As for Albus and the others, well, lots more growing up to do...

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #25, by iLuna17In Between The Air: We were both young when I first saw you

11th May 2012:
Hmmm ... interesting dynamics going on here. I think it's awesome that the girl (I hope) has Joey for a name ... I love boy names for girls. Nick, Spencer, Dylan, Charlie ... I love them all. :)

I would like it if you expanded a bit more on each of the main five characters here. It's a little on the short side, and I think this story could go even further with some more detail. (and make the characters a bit more 3D) There were also a few grammar mistakes.

Other than that, though, bril chapter. I can't wait to see the plot develop!

Ellie

Author's Response: Yeah Joeys a girl and her full name is Johanna. I agree with you there.

I did warn you that this chapter needed work. I agree that i need to develop my characters more. I have trouble with dialogue but I'm working on it.

Yeah grammar is not my strong suit.

Thanks for your review!!

~LillyLover22~


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