Reading Reviews From Member: firefly910
  
190 Reviews Found

Review #26, by firefly910Memory Lane : Strange Behaviour

11th September 2013:
I do love the relationship you're building between Hermione and Draco. I know they hated each other at school but it kind of reminds when two people who used to have a thing for each other end up in some sort of situation together and there's just sarcastic quips flying around everywhere.


I just love how she's so sceptical of him! I mean I would be as well, can a leopard /really/ change his spots? I do like the ideas he's coming up with and getting Harry involved is a stroke of genius because he's close to Hermione so if he is genuine Harry is gonna vouch for him.


Again loved the line where Hermione thinks about Lucy in relation to Draco's bum.

(I tend to talk about the story line as if it's actually happening in my reviews. They won't be in the least bit helpful because I get /far/ too into the storylines. Ask TenthWeasley she'll tell you!)

Author's Response: Don't be silly! I'm enjoying your reviews! I like when people get caught up in my stories, I take it as a huge compliment :)

I think their relationship is definitely reminiscent of hair pulling and name calling at school when you actually like someone.

I wanted Harry to 'warm' to him first, if only to be a little different to other Draco/Hermione stories where she has to convince him that Draco has changed.

Lucy and Draco's bum is quite possibly my favourite thing to write about in this haha.

Thanks again!


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Review #27, by firefly910Memory Lane : Defeat and Dinner

11th September 2013:
"So...the bum, we don't like him?" Lucy finally spoke after watching Hermione for several minutes -best line in the whole chapter!

I think you give a very plausible reason for Draco changing his opinion. I know people who have travelled and they've come back with different views on certain things. I am interested to see exactly how he's going to be with Hermione. Somehow I think there might be some sarcastic banter coming, which is going to be great!

I think I would react exactly the same way Hermione has if someone who used to treat me the way Draco did her came to work in the same department. Hermione is usually a very level-headed person but there is a person for everyone who makes our blood boil so it's completely normal for Hermione to react the way she did.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like that line, it's one of my favourites in the entire story.

There's definitely a plausible reason for his sudden change of heart, the travelling is only part of it ;)

I'm really happy you find Hermione's reactions believable, let's face it, Draco doesn't exactly bring out her good side does he?

Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #28, by firefly910Memory Lane : Bad Dates, Hangovers and a Nightmare.

11th September 2013:
It has been so long since I actually read a Dramione and I can tell after the first chapter that I am going to love this!

I think part of the reason I've stayed away from reading Dramione because I started to read a lot of stories where I just knew I couldn't imagine them in that situation. However I have always pictured one way of them coming into contact with each other is through work at the ministry.

Oh and I hope Lucy features more because I love her! She reminds me of my best friend, talking about a guys bum is exactly something she'd do.

Looking forward to reading the rest!

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you decided to come back to dramione with my story :) I can definitely imagine them getting together post-war more than before

Lucy becomes a main character in this, which took me by surprise as when I planned this story she was only going to be in the first chapter but I had so much fun writing her I found myself unable to stop ;) Your friend sounds like someone I definitely would like to meet!

I hope you stay with the story and enjoy the rest of the chapters. Thanks for reviewing :)


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Review #29, by firefly910Breaking Even: Lily's Son

11th September 2013:
It's all getting to close to events that I don't want to happen.

You write Bellatrix and Voldemort perfectly. I can just imagine the pause before he said 'I must kill Harry Potter' and I can imagine Ralph Fiennes saying it in his raspy voice.

So I have a theory. Snape is going to Dumbledore to tell him about Harry. There's maybe a chance that he will ask Dumbledore about Beth and then it will be Dumbledore who will think it's time to give him his memories back. I'm probably way off mark but I don't think their conversation is just going to revolve around Lily and Harry.

Author's Response: Everything in this story is building towards "those events" -- those big, Marauder-shattering ones. :( It was sort of tense the entire way writing to those, because I knew they were coming, and it was hard to have to see my characters be so ignorant of it! If that makes any sense at all...

I'm so happy you like Bellatrix and Voldemort here! That really means a lot, because they're the two canon characters I probably struggle with most, though practice makes them easier.

Ah, your theory... I can't say if it's right or not, of course, but it IS a good one. You'll have to read on and find out if you're right about Snape!

Thanks for reviewing! ♥


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Review #30, by firefly910Breaking Even: Boys' Night

11th September 2013:
PETER PETTIGREW WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

Powerful chapter Jane. I think it worked even more because it was from Remus' POV because he has always been the more perceptive one in the bunch.


Whilst I hate Peter and that's never going to change I think it's important to understand what might have drove him to do the things he did.

The little things you added in to this chapter such as Peter correcting his nickname and Remus noticing how odd he's acting just adds that crucial layer to his character. I can't feel sorry for him even though I know how frustrating it is to have friends who never listen to what you have to say; he just went so extreme. I understand that some people do desperate things but, just, The Potters man. You can't do that.

Plus he's thinking if you bring Snape's memories back and get him connected to Beth again the fact that Snape keeps seeing him is going to come out and Peter doesn't want that.

So the memory plot thickens. I am so intrigued to know what's going to happen.

Author's Response: Remus is someone I see as the quieter Marauder, but I did include his POV here largely because he'd been so absent for earlier chapters -- for a reason, which you'll come to see later, but I did somewhat miss writing him. Peter had a big part in this chapter for somewhat the same reason, but it's hard at this point in the story to write him without disliking him intensely... or in the entire story in general.

But I do feel sorry for him at the same time, just like he said. We don't know the canon reason for his betrayal, but how I've written it, it's largely because his friends drove him to the edge without them knowing they were doing it. Which is sad. :( Still -- not an excuse, eh?

The memory plot thickens indeed! You're actually very close to discovering where that all ends up. ;) And I'm excited for you to get there!

Thank you for your review! ♥


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Review #31, by firefly910Breaking Even: Bathilda and a Broomstick

9th September 2013:
Cutest chapter of anything, ever. I love the Potter's I really do. I love baby Harry so much! An idyllic first birthday and the bit with the broom was perfect. And the vase. And Bathilda. And . . . JUST EVERYTHING.

The only thing that made me sad was the 'you better get used to it' because that's the last time he's going to have a birthday like that. *sobs*

Author's Response: Writing the baby Harry chapters were so much fun! Which is arguably why he's in here as much as he is. :) And of course, like I said, somewhere along the way James developed into my favorite Marauder. ♥

I do like to include little barbs of lines like that, though -- but nothing's happened as of yet, and that should comfort you a little!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #32, by firefly910Breaking Even: Treason

9th September 2013:
OHMYGOD. I did not see that coming. I literally did not breath for a good portion of the first part. Seriously Jane that first section was amazing. The tense atmosphere seeped it's way through my laptop into my room. Good lord when Sev remembers Beth! How is he going to live with himself?! And what is she going to do when she finds out it was him that killed her father?

Just proves that some people thought they knew what being part of Voldemorts cause was. Just donate some money and that's it? Nope, when the Dark Lord comes knocking you better be ready to act.

God the bit where you described the sectumsempra spell and its affect on Calvin. I had shivers.

Best chapter you have written so far.

Author's Response: Yes! Ah, now I'm sad, skimming this chapter again (which is often necessary when responding to reviews, which is probably part of the reason it takes me so long to do). I'm glad that you enjoyed it, though! ♥ I do love that you talk about Severus's memory recollection is inevitable, though. That's just the sort of hope that readers need!

Calvin Bridger was basically 212% arrogant, thinking he could just pay off his promises and let nothing more be said about it. Beth's parents make me so angry, really. *shakes fist at them* And strangely enough, they had a very lovely daughter, and now not only am I talking about fictional characters like they're real, but they're MY characters. I will stop now.

I'm just so pleased you enjoyed this one so much, though!! Thank you for such a lovely review!


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Review #33, by firefly910Breaking Even: An Awkward Encounter

9th September 2013:
And that scene with Timothy has just cemented him as the fictional version of the guy I used to date. Seems there's a few of them hanging around. Why would Beth tell him there was someone else if there wasn't? Ergh men, honestly. Bless her though, to be so hung up on Sev like that. I know how she feels and it sucks big time.

Oh wow, now things are getting serious. I DON'T WANT OCTOBER TO COME. Can we just stick the plotline on pause now and just leave it there? Please? *glares at ALL the chapters I have left to read*

I could feel Beth's pain when Sirius told her. It's like when people say 'you never think it's going to happen to you' in relation to crime. Yes, they've had to bear the loss of other Order members but it's never been someone with whom they had a connection. Losing someone who you spent time with and can remember in such a personal way is on another level.

Plus it highlights the fact that things are only going to get worse. Specific people are now being targeted and that can only mean that Voldemort is upping his game.

Gah, I just want to scoop them all up in a blanket and hide them!

Author's Response: *thumbs nose at Timothy* I just... I half-cringe every time I have to reread what I wrote about him, because it's really pretty accurate to some scenarios of my own life, but writers always make what they write personal, don't they? That whole Beth/Sev/Timothy thing is actually REALLY closely related to my own life in ways I honestly never discovered until recently. Ah, subconscious, you have done strange things in this story.

You're making great headway through this book! But I would not blame you at all if you quit reading just so the horrible end results never happen. :( I remember there being a point when I kept avoiding writing the last three or four chapters because I so, so, so didn't want to finish writing this trilogy. Completely understand where you're coming from.

*hides* I JUST REALLY WISH THIS WAS A HAPPIER STORY THAT I CHOSE TO WRITE. But I don't think I'd have liked it half so much -- and besides, it needed to be done. Blanket-scooping is encouraged!

Thank you for reviewing! ♥


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Review #34, by firefly910Breaking Even: Two Meetings

9th September 2013:
So I have a feeling that this chapter marks the moment where things change. Just the way Moody came in and so abruptly said that the meeting was over and then even more abruptly said that the Prewett's were dead, it just seemed that this is the watershed moment. There's always an event that sparks everything off and that was it. The war had already been affecting them with losses but I always felt that the losing the Prewetts and the way in which it happened tipped it over the edge.

Combine that with Voldemort making moves on the whole prophecy thing and it all just smacks of bad things from here on out.

Aww Harry teething. I loved the beginning bit with the interactions between the gang. You really have created such a great dynamic between them. I think it's natural for some friends to drift away like Remus and Peter. I know we are privy to the reason why Peter keeps being a no show but I get the feeling that Remus would drift away because of how 'normal' their group dynamic is after Hogwarts. I also think that James having a son would affect him as we know he thought if he had children they would end up like him. Plus it adds another level to the whole secret keeper drama that's about to unfold.

You write Bellatrix brilliantly. And the way she teased Sev about not knowing information pertaining to his own mission. He really does not like to be kept out of the loop does he?!

I like the way you have him react to where his memories of Beth should be. It's almost like his mind knows something's wrong and it's trying to fix it but there's that vital piece missing.

Author's Response: There's a definite shift in tone and attitude here -- you're absolutely right. There are probably a couple of moments over the course of these books where you could say the same, but this one in particular sort of hits home for Beth's current problems, if that makes any sense at all. This is where the incline toward the story's climax gets just a bit steeper than it already was!

I miss writing this friendship SO MUCH, I can't even say. ♥ One of the things I wanted to do from day one is create the kind of close-knit Marauder bond that we know is canon but I personally feel is lacking in some Marauder-era stories. There are varying strengths and friendship ties, but when it comes down to it, at this point they all (with the possible exception of Peter) are so closely tied by friendship that it nearly eclipses everything else. That's one of the true tragedies of this era: how quickly that friendship was fractured in a matter of hours.

I'm glad you liked Bellatrix! Out of all the canon characters, she's possibly the one I like writing least, because her voice is tricky for me. ;) And I love how you phrased that thought about Sev's mind trying to mend itself!

Thank you for this review, and for all the others as well!


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Review #35, by firefly910Just A Game: It's not a miracle we needed

9th September 2013:
So this was an intriguing chapter! Why does she have so many wounds? Why would Sirius want to help her?

The fact I've got all these questions proves that this chapter has done what it's supposed to, I definitely want to read more!

Great job :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ah, well this is the prologue so everything is explained as the story plays on!

I'm so happy you want to read more, that was the plan!

Again, thank you! and thank you for taking the time to review!


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Review #36, by firefly910Breaking Even: The Reparation

9th September 2013:
THEY MADE UP!! I knew she wouldn't stay mad at him.
He must have thought she was going to do a lot more than wallop him when he was walking back up those stairs.

PLEASE don't let Sirius do something stupid to get those memories back! I don't know what he could do but knowing him it'll be so quickly made up plan and he'll get himself into bother.

I'm just glad that they're friends again. Beth and Sirius don't function without one another, it affects Sirius more but then I think that's because of his background. He's more vulnerable then he lets on.

Author's Response: They made up indeed! No matter how dumb Sirius can be, or how stubborn Beth can be, she very much needs him. I am very proud of him for being brave enough to return and talk to her. ♥

Still staying mum on the memory bottle developments, though, because I know you haven't got to that point in the story yet! Sirius probably would do something stupid to get them back, if only to prove his loyalties... Oh, I just CAN'T TELL YOU THINGS.

Sirius and Beth, while not romantically involved, are very dependent on each other's friendship -- and I do think that's because they're from startlingly similar backgrounds, rejected by and disdainful of their pureblood families. Beth just knows how to make Sirius toe the line a bit. ;)

Thank you for your review! I feel very much like a broken record, but it seriously does mean so much that you've been reading my stories for three years AND YOU'RE STILL HERE. ♥ I'm flattered beyond words!


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Review #37, by firefly910Breaking Even: Bridger

9th September 2013:
So was it Sev asking someone to find Beth for him? That could be so potentially DANGEROUS! Because he's going to need a reason and then when whoever is searching for her finds out she's an Order member is going to be all 'Yo Sev! Why are you looking for someone who works for the Order. Shall I bump her off for you?'


NO YOU SHALL NOT. Oh I hope the whole memory plot works out. But then that could cause chaos too and I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE SAFE!

And I read someone else's review (Sarah's maybe) and she was talking about Sirius hiding the fact that is was him from James and that it makes him look all sneaky. AND IS HE STILL GOING TO GO TO AZKABAN?! Oh gosh I don't want to read that, especially not from his OR Beth's POV.

You may not be planning on writing that but just so you know if you do, you will kill me!!

Author's Response: By now you've reached the point in the story where you should be able to more accurately understand who Snape's talking about. ;) No one's bumping Beth off any time soon, I can very much promise you that! So no worries!

I can tell you nothing about Sirius in the future. I make no promises either way -- and there are things even Sarah doesn't know about where Sirius ends up, so I am going to be 100% silent on that front!

Thank you for your review! ♥


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Review #38, by firefly910Breaking Even: The Confession

9th September 2013:
Oh Timothy. Leaning in for a kiss and getting snubbed. Oh Beth making an absolute fool of yourself avoiding said kiss. Bless them, such an awkward situation.


OKAY. She walloped him. Which he deserved but I feel so sorry for him. He thought he was doing the right thing and now he's realised he hasn't so he confessed and now his best friend doesn't want to talk to him or see him.

*hugs Sirius close to self*

I have a feeling Beth will stay mad at him for a while but I don't think she could never speak to him again.

I wonder how he's going to react to her not speaking to him. Please don't make him do anything stupid!! :(

Everything is just so sad and things aren't going to get better for some people even if it does for others.

This story messes with my emotions!

Author's Response: Honestly, can't blame Beth in this position -- I'd have avoided that kiss, too! After all, he's not her man. ;) Timothy probably could use a bit of sympathy here, really, but I am not going to give him any, because I am a selfish Sneth shipper.

I didn't intend for Beth to actually hit Sirius until someone suggested it, but I am very proud of her for doing it in the end! He's like a big puppy, but he also really deserved it. And Sirius does know he deserves it, too, so any extremities aren't really a concern. I promise everything'll be all right! (And I'm aware of the fact that you're far ahead of this chapter in the story now, but alas.)

This story is like 90% depression and only 10% happy things. But the happy things do exist! I promise! ♥


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Review #39, by firefly910Breaking Even: A Proposal and a Promise

9th September 2013:
Ergh. Timothy reminds me of a guy I used to be into. I can just imagine his smug little face when Beth goes all girly and blurts out 'you remembered my name'. He thinks he's so suave. Are we meant to like him? I think the combination of being 'quidditch guy' and how confident he was at asking her out just combined in my head and the result was the sleaze ball I used to date. Once again - ergh.


Oh poor Beth. I say that a lot but I do mean it. She's just trying so hard but it's impossible for her really isn't it? I know I would be feeling exactly the same if the guy I loved gave up his memories of me and all to protect me.

SIRIUS BLACK!!! One day Beth is going to find out it was him and I hope she gives him an almighty wallop round the head. I know he thought he was doing what was right and now he's agreed to get the memories back for her but she wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for him. AND HE WON'T OWN UP TO IT.

I love the way you write James. So reliable and reassuring. I love him.

Author's Response: TIMOTHY. I will not expound much on Timothy, but he was inspired by someone who's probably a lot like the guy you're describing. He's not evil, and it's really up to you if you like or dislike him -- I wouldn't necessarily call him a "sleaze ball," but he's perhaps not the greatest person ever. :P

If Beth had had some more closure, then I think she would have been better at this point in her life -- but bless her, she lost Severus with almost no explanation in 24 hours. :(

♥ ♥ ♥ These responses so aren't the greatest, but it's so hard for me to respond to such an impressive string of them coherently! But I really am so happy for them!


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Review #40, by firefly910Breaking Even: A Course of Action

9th September 2013:
Okay so that first paragraph? AMAZING!! Seriously, so vivid. I wish I could write like that!

You are making me want to read lots of fluffy James/Lily stories because the way you write them is so darn cute. All of the little things like Lily talking to Harry, James /still/ not being able to believe how lucky he is and BABY HARRY IN GENERAL.

Please change this story NOW. AU!!! AU!!!

I just don't think I'll be able to read the chapter dealing with their deaths. AND SIRIUS, oh god I cant' Jane is just CAN'T.

Bless James being bored. There's only so much baby drool a man can take! Especially when you're part of the Marauders. I feel like Lily is only going to give him so much rope with the whole memory thing though. Like she's going to let him scheme with the others but then she'll be like 'nope' when it actually comes to the plan.

UNLESS IT DOESN'T GET THAT FAR BEFORE . . .

No! It has too!

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment! ♥ No lie -- writing these books did lead me to seek out James/Lily stories! ("Checkmate" by babewithbrains was one I really enjoyed, though it's not strictly fluff.) James definitely turned into my favorite Marauder over the course of these three novels.

JUST PRETEND LIKE THE STORY ENDS HERE, AND THEIR HAPPINESS IS INTACT FOREVER?

No matter how much he loves his wife and son, I can't see how James would be happy cooped up in that house all the time. Although I will say that nobody can control James Potter, and certainly not Lily. :P At the end of the day, he still does just want he wants!

Thanks for your review! ♥


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Review #41, by firefly910Breaking Even: Malfoy Manor

9th September 2013:
Loved this chapter. You write the Malfoys brilliantly. Narcissa reminded me of a statue the way you described her. I got the impression that everything in their house is extremely stilted, as though nothing is actually ever used. I have always felt somewhat curious about Narcissa, what her motives were and the like. We know she was never a Death Eater and to my knowledge she was never involved in anything aside from being married to Lucius. She just intrigues me, why would someone go along with all of that? She must of really loved Lucius, or just saw no way out especially once Draco arrived.

I can just imagine Sev's face having to put up with Lucius acting all high and mighty. We all know that Sev got into the game because of a hunger for power and knowing that he has the same (if not more) as Lucius whilst he's still acting superior must infuriate him.

It was almost as if Lucius got Sev there just to say 'Don't go thinking you're better than me. Look at my Manor and the information I know' which is a very Lucius thing to do.

PETER AGAIN!!


Oh I just love all these little flashes of Sev sort of remembering Beth you keep putting in. It's so realistic that he would still have something in his mind that would react to her, she was a big part of his life. And the fact he wants to find out who she is and Beth is determined to get his memories back is going to lead to something BIG I can just tell!!

Author's Response: Narcissa is very much a statue in this chapter -- maybe it's the general Malfoy coloring, but I imagine them to be a very cold and private family. I think she did love Lucius, and he loved her in turn, but they wouldn't have expressed it in overtly romantic or mushy ways. She probably condoned what Lucius was doing, too, or else she wouldn't have stuck around; she strikes me as being strong.

Severus basically wanted to punch Lucius in the face throughout this entire chapter, though, for sure. :D It's the same deal when people older than you act like they're so much wiser -- and sometimes they are so NOT.

More memory flashes are coming your way! I'm so pumped for you to read the rest of this story, just so I don't have to keep up an air of mystery when I really just want to squawk about impending developments.

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #42, by firefly910Breaking Even: On The Job

9th September 2013:
Oh who is this dashing Timothy you have presented us with? I have a feeling that he's going to A LOT more significant than just being 'Quidditch Man' (that made me laugh because I am constantly giving people nicknames when I don't know their real names). I don't know whether it's because of the nature of the story but I feel his presence isn't going to be linked to anything happy. But I could be wrong.


WHAT IS PETER DOING?! Having secret meetings with people? But why would he do it in the oh-so-public space of the Ministry? I really want know what he's up to. Well, I mean we /know/ what he's up to in the grand scheme of things but he just makes me so /suspicious/ all the time!


Oh dear Beth, please be careful with what Remus just told you. She can't just go flying up to Hogwarts and seize Sev's memories back. There's a lot she needs to think through. Not least of all that Sev now thinks she's just some random Order member and if she's going to somehow make him remember who she is, she's going to have to show him his memories. Oh potential for disaster is just right there isn't it?!

Author's Response: Ah, Timothy... "dashing" is maybe not the word I'd use, but to each his own! I do think it's actually rather funny (as in I've been sitting here giggling for a solid minute) that you found his presence wasn't connected with anything good. Like I said, he's definitely based on someone in my own life, and if you saw warning signs, maybe I should have too! (Still laughing!) But I digress.

PETER IS VERY SUSPICIOUS AND YOU SHOULD STILL BE KEEPING A CLOSE EYE ON HIM. That is all. :)

Thank goodness Beth isn't Sirius, or she probably would have just barged into Hogwarts and shouted down Dumbledore is something. I am proud to admit that she does have more patience and self-restraint, however, and no such confrontation occurred here! The potential for disaster is within reach, of course... but you'll have to see how things play out. :3 I'm very excited for you to reach later points in this story -- I really want to see your reactions to them!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #43, by firefly910Breaking Even: Happy Birthday, James

2nd September 2013:
Happy Potter's!! Yay. Oh I love baby Harry so much. Ans James and Lily are just so perfect. The description of their house at the beginning gave me the warm fuzzies.

BUT THEN I REMEMBER WHAT'S COMING AND I CAN'T!!!


No. Moody stop right there. Beth is no a traitor! You should all be evil eyeing Peter. But no he's there all 'I'll help you Beth' whilst he putting EVERYONE in danger. Grr. I really don't like him.


Okay so theory. Remus is going to Hogwarts right. Well if he goes in Dumbeldore's office will he happen to catch a glimpse of all the memories he keeps? I have a feeling that they're going to steal Sev's memory vial and somehow give him his memories back. Ohh the Maruader's getting up to mischief at Hogwarts again!

Author's Response: Happy Potters indeed! I couldn't do without happy Potters -- I love James/Lily, and I am absolutely and fully not going to pass up a chance to write wee baby Harry (as you've probably noticed as you've progressed into the story!). With all the sad things in this story, too, I thought it was important to balance that out as best I could, and right now this little family is one of the happiest things about this point in time.

Beth really isn't a traitor, and ugh. :( I just feel so bad for her, which is something I keep repeating, but it's true! I understand now why people keep lamenting about how fan fic writers live only to torture their characters. Isn't that what I'm doing here, after all? ... Whoops.

Ah, I cannot comment on your theories, but they're good ones! ♥ You've probably figured out by now whether they're right or not, of course, but I'll be mysterious anyway. I will say that I missed Hogwarts too much not to feature it in this book! And I'll leave you with that...

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #44, by firefly910Breaking Even: A Change of Plans

2nd September 2013:
Now Moody was there really any need to publicly humiliate Beth?! That poor girl really needs to catch a break soon.

Loved this chapter. I always love the chapters that involve the Order because the way you write the group dynamics and set the scene is always brilliant. Like with Beth thinking how it hadn't changed much and the mentioning how there were more empty seats to depict how, actually, things had changed.

Squeed at the mention of baby Harry. Do we get a glimpse of the Potters happy? I hope we do!


James Potter is such a sweetheart. If it had been Sirius who'd have gone after her he would have tried his hardest to console her and just ended up making everything worse. James just seems to have this inherent ability to make Beth feel better.


Peter got a bit panicky then didn't he? Just reading the other reviews and your responses to the questions about the whole Sev/Peter/betrayal situation and I would agree with your line of thinking. There's got to have been loads of times Sev saw Peter going to and from head quarters. Interesting that he wouldn't jump at the chance to rat him out but then like you said that just adds a whole other dimension of complicated to his life.


THE BRACELET!! I wonder how long you're going to leave us all stewing until you make Sev remember Beth? I bet it's going to be ages.

Author's Response: Spoiler alert: Beth has many more trials to come before even part of a break is caught. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. This was basically the most depressing thing ever, this book, and yet I already miss writing it. I'm so glad you liked the Order scenes! I'm always so grateful that people do mention that, because I was very conscious of not making them too dull and dry. It's extremely important, but I can't imagine people want to keep reading about a bunch of meetings. ;) Which is where Marauders camaraderie comes in!

James is seriously the best. ♥ I think he's my favorite Marauder now, too, after writing heavily about him for two years. He's Beth's protector, her older brother, where Sirius is like the rambunctious best friend. I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH.

Peter naturally gets more suspicious in these books. ;) Keep an eye on him! And keep an eye on that bracelet, too, because it's like I've said from ITR -- it's very, very important!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #45, by firefly910Breaking Even: The Mind's Eye

2nd September 2013:
'who-ever she'd been'

You cruel woman Jane! Brilliant how you showed us that Snape does indeed not know who Beth is in such an obvious but at the same time subtle way (that makes no sense.)

Loved this chapter. I do think you write his character amazingly.

He doesn't deal with death very well does he? For me I think he reacted like that because it's the first up close and personal dealing with the consequences of being a Death Eater he's had to go through. And he has the added pressure of being a double agent. So for him it's like dicing with death on the double. Also he might be dreading the idea of having to battle someone he's now covertly on the same side as, what happens if he accidentally (or indeed purposely) kills or seriously hurts someone from the Order. I can't imagine Dumbledore being too happy about it and he's a man you don't want to cross. Neither is Voldemort so Sev's in a right old pickle really.


OH IT'S BACK TO LILY. I did wonder whether that's what would happen. Question? Did he come to that conclusion himself or did Dumbledore subtly plant that idea in his head after his memories were taken?


I can see this being a very interesting story. I love the fact you've added the whole thing about Snape feeling as though something has happened to his brain, instead of just letting him walk around completely oblivious. I know for a fact that it will drive him nuts thinking he should know something but he doesn't.


On to the next one!

Author's Response: I never recommend writing a story where one half of the love interest forgets the other -- it's SO SAD. And I'm very aware it was cruel! But I'm glad you're still appreciating my Snape, especially since I know your general feelings on him. ♥

That definitely was Snape's first time dealing with a personal death, although no, he doesn't deal with it very well in general. ;) It's all around him, and is a very real threat, and I'd imagine that terrifies him pretty badly, actually. He's in a huge pickle, of course, and he can't even remember why! I think it's safe to say that basically everyone in this story needs constant hugs.

It is back to Lily, yes! That's something Snape would have come up with on his own -- with Beth out of the picture, he thinks he's loved Lily all along, and would have turned double agent to protect her. Dumbledore wouldn't have argued with this theory, of course.

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #46, by firefly910Breaking Even: Forget Him

2nd September 2013:
*casually strolls in about 6 months late and takes a seat*

So I'm here. Finally. I have 22 days until the hell that will be my third year of University begins so instead of getting myself prepared I am going to read Breaking Even and live in a bubble of ignorance.

One day Jane I will read your stories as you update them. It will happen.

Although I have 26 wonderful chapters ahead of me so I'm really the winner here aren't I?


Oh Beth. You poor girl. I bet she's just been walking round with this huge knot in her stomach and there's no way to get rid of it. I mean she can't really move on if she's got to keep bumping into Sev, knowing he doesn't remember her. I bet it makes it worse knowing he's working for Dumbledore. I can just picture her creating scenarios in her head of what it would be like if her and Sev could work together for the Order.

Why do us girls always go for people we can't have?

However. Sirius.

*starts singing Siribeth in an annoying child like tone*

They are just so right. And I don't mean in a romantic way (although I wouldn't balk at the idea). I just mean that they mesh so well. You've created such a great friendship between them. I love how Sirius is with her. How protective gets. Like I bet all he was thinking when he saw Sev was 'I need to make this as painless for Beth as possible' because that's they type of guy he is.


I was just going to ask if there's any happiness in this story but then I remembered. How can there be ANY happiness in a story whose timeline involves Halloween 1981. Gah.


Oh and by the way, Sirius little out burst and the saying he used with his swear word:

SO BRITISH. I know it's probably a saying that everyone says but seriously I laughed out loud when I read it because it's what nearly everyone I know says and I could here it in my local dialect.

Great chapter. As usual I wouldn't expect these reviews to hold any critical substance what-so-ever.

Author's Response: Callie! I'm so, so happy you're reading this story at last. :) I completely understand why you haven't before, of course, because I know you're very busy, but you're always such an enthusiastic reviewer! And you do have quite a backlog of chapters to keep you occupied for the present!

But oh, poor Beth, because her story really isn't a very happy one for a lot of this story. She's so hung up on Severus still, and even Siruis's antics (bless him) and James's friendship can't help her out too much. I know you're still shipping Siribeth, of course. ♥ They are very, very good as friends, but you're absolutely right in that in a romantic relationship... they would basically destroy each other.

I PROMISE THERE IS HAPPINESS. Spurts of happiness overshadowed by darker things, but it's there!

Thank you for reviewing!!


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Review #47, by firefly910In The Red: The Precaution

8th April 2013:
I got a little emotional reading your authors note. I guess its because I've been with you on the archives since you were posting LO and I've seen you grow so much as a writer. You post so consistently and it's always so good. I seriously wish I could fit my writing in the way you do but for some reason it just doesn't work. I do look up to you as a writer because I can see how much your writing has evolved since LO, it was good back then as well but you always hit me with certain phrases that I'm just blown away by. I wish I was around more on the forums and here so that we could talk more because I miss you Jane, I really do.

And now all the gushing is over on to the chapter.

Sirius! You adorable boy! Oh I love him as a Godfather. I always imagined him to just covet Harry so much, be so protective and proud of him. It's just so sad what happens to him and he misses Harry's life because of Azkaban and then because of his death. It's so heartbreaking because the way you portray him is exactly as I imagine he would have been. Happy-go-lucky and always so excited about everything. Harry would have been the light of his life.

*sobs*

OH MY LORD WHEN SEVERUS WALKED INTO THE ROOM.

I stared at that sentence for so long. She had the bracelet on, and he looked at her but he didn't recognise her. Even though she was wearing the one thing that represents their relationship.

GAH!

My heart skipped because I thought for one second he might actually recognise her.

But of course he didn't. Dumbledore's magic does not fail.

And then the last bit. Ohh the memories. THAT IS GOING TO PLAY A HUGE PART IN BREAKING EVEN I KNOW IT!!

Seriously Jane, how do you do it? Every time I read one of your stories it instantly becomes a favourite. I loved ITB and I loved this one even more, so I can only imagine how Breaking Even is going to make me feel.

And then after that? I distinctly remember you mentioning an LO sequel at one point! I would love to read about Rachel again!!!

Author's Response: Ugh. This is going to make me cry again. ♥ Because out of everyone I know via HPFF, Callie, you have been with me the longest, and you are probably one of my biggest supporters, and it was your comments on LO that helped keep me writing it in the first place. Knowing someone wanted to read what I was writing KEPT me churning out chapters and discussing plot points and all those things that go into novel-writing. To know that someone sees that my writing has grown and evolved (and it's not just in my head, my thinking that) is... there aren't /words/ for that. I miss you very much, Callie. We absolutely and completely have to catch up as soon as possible!

Sirius would be such a fun godfather, because when he goes in for something, he never goes halfway. :D He is like Tumblr users in that he cannot love anything casually, and in turn I love him for it; you're always getting true emotion out of him, even if it's not always a good emotion. I think it must have killed him in Azkaban, thinking about Harry and not being able to see him, or tell him he had a godfather at all.

Pay attention to that bracelet! ;) I promise you that it crops up again in BE -- it's a fairly large plot point, and I'm actually about to write a chapter that will talk about it a good deal, if that tells you anything at all. Dumbledore's magic may not have let him recognize Beth's face... but hope is still alive.

Breaking Even is actually my favorite of the three books, I think, and I absolutely cannot wait for you to read that one. ♥ Thank you SO much for being such an invaluable support system in everything I do, though, seriously.

After Sneth? A sequel to ANAWFOS, I think -- but I definitely haven't forgotten the LO sequel, I promise! I'll write it someday, if only for your eyes, because you are so enthusiastic about it. And about everything. ♥


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Review #48, by firefly910In The Red: July 31, 1980

8th April 2013:
Baby Harry!! *dances around*

Oh it's so sad to know that this little happy bubble James and Lily are in is only going to last a year. And that, that tiny, mopped haired baby is in for such a tough life for the next seventeen years.


I really can't remember what is was that Sirius did, I must refresh my memory!!

I really am hoping that the arrival of Harry (and Neville) and the fact that Beth is Harry's Godmother is going to distract her for at least a little while. The fact that she keeps saying Severus is gone when in reality he actually hasn't, it's technically Beth that has is heartbreaking. And also the fact that she might realise Severus will think he's doing it all for Lily.

*thinks ahead to Breaking Even and wonders if that comes up*

Having been through a pretty traumatic break up of a three and a half year relationship, I can kind of imagine how she's feeling. Obviously not in relation to the danger and the memory loss. But the feeling of being at sea, like you can't attach yourself to anything because the one thing that anchored you isn't there any more; it's a horrible feeling.

You do a great job at portraying emotions Jane, as I'm sure I've told you before.

Author's Response: I think it's kind of cruel, in retrospect, putting this chapter immediately after the one before it... but it's almost like a tonic to soothe the frayed nerves. If not for everyone else, then definitely for me. :D And wee Harry is much, much too adorable for me not to put mentions of him in anywhere I see fit. You'll see that in BE as well!

Oh, you've hit on an interesting point there about Lily. ;) One I can't answer, because I do answer it in future chapters! That sounds aggravating, I suppose, but of course I can't reveal all my tricks out of hand, can I?

True story: I've never been in a relationship, and thus have never been in a break-up, so I'm actually extremely pleased that the emotions seem to be realistic, as far as that's concerned. ♥ This is why reader response is so valuable -- you all have experienced things I haven't, so you guys are the only way to know if I'm getting things right!

You are so sweet, Callie. ♥ Gah, reading all these reviews again, and responding to them -- it's seriously making my day. Thank you so much for sitting down and leaving me all of these like this!!


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Review #49, by firefly910In The Red: The Remembering

8th April 2013:
OH MY, OH MY, OH MY, OH MY.

I could give you a bijillion lines of just that for this chapter.

Now as I said in an earlier review I knew Snape would lose his memory and at the end of the previous chapter I did have an inkling.


BUT

BUT


This chapter!!!

Oh wow Jane, my heart is broken for poor Beth. She sounded so desperate when Sev was telling her what was going to happen.

How is she going to live through it? Surely she's going to be depressed? The man she loves will have no memory of her. Oh wow, that's so horrible. And the way Sev was all 'I have to do this for you' it was like some dramatic scene from a really sad movie.

I just can't get over the emotions in this chapter. I'm sorry it's not a long review but please refer to line one because that's all I can think right now.

Author's Response: -biting my nails down to the quick- THIS IS ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITE CHAPTERS OF THIS ENTIRE TRILOGY, JUST SAYING. And even though you knew it was coming from glimpsing the BE story summary, I'm so glad you enjoyed it nonetheless. ♥ There are certain chapters like this where I basically hold my breath every time someone reviews them, because I want them to enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It breaks my heart... but it's such an integral part of the ENTIRE STORY, this chapter.

Beth definitely doesn't take it well, but she also doesn't take it sitting down, and that is what makes me proudest about her. You'll see what she ends up doing about it in the next book! I want to tell you everything, but obviously I can't, and I'm just so excited for you to see how everything turns out.

So many emotions. I'm getting them secondhand from reading this review, and I wrote the chapter in the first place! Oh, don't even try apologizing to me. ♥ Your reviews are always lovely. I cannot thank you enough for them.


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Review #50, by firefly910In The Red: What Severus Told

8th April 2013:
'Was it still suicide if it didnít destroy life in its simplest definition, but merely shattered any hopes of living life as you had been doing for the past twenty-odd years?'

^ favourite line in the whole chapter. I think that sums Severus Snape up, both in this and in actual canon, perfectly.

He gave up everything he had strived for, for a girl. Whether that be Beth or Lily, he gave it all up because he could not bear to see them in danger. I can see why so many people see him as a hero when I read that sentence. He wanted power, recognition but all of that paled into insignificance when he realised who he was putting at risk because of that. He was willing to put his life in danger, to basically give up his life to become a double agent for love. WOW Jane, I got all of that from ONE SENTENCE.

*bows down to your writing skills*

Okay so this chapter gave me chills.
Like seriously.

The way you wrote Dumbledore was amazing. He is such a daunting, larger than life man that I would be almost falling of my chair like Sev did. And it was so great to see him portrayed as being a hard-ass with Sev. You don't get to see Dumbledore in that light much, purely because he isn't like that very often. But you also kept his gentleness in there. You didn't make him to hard. Dumbledore is a man who always - not looks for the good in people - but tries to understand their situation. I feel that empathy is one of his strong suits. Which I feel is why he understood Voldemort so well, he can put himself in someone else shoes.

I just loved that whole scene.

PETER PETTIGREW!! I'M GLAD YOU FEEL BAD, I'M GLAD WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS SENDING YOU MAD!!

Well . . . okay, maybe I can see why someone like Peter would fall into doing what he is. He feels insignificant, worthless and he (like Sev I may add) is looking for some kind of recognition. So in a way I do feel sorry for him. But the others do love him and that's what makes me so mad!! He doesn't need to be doing what he is and he's going to lose everything because of it.

This chapter has given me a lot of feels, I don't know if you can tell.

Author's Response: ♥ I really love that line, too (if I can say it without sounding conceited). And I'm so glad that you think it hits canon-portrayal Snape so well! He is a very dedicated man, though he has many other faults, and I wanted to get that across while not shying away from his bad points. He was a Death Eater, he was nasty to Harry, yes -- but he knew what he would stand for. And he did it. And now I'm getting little swelling feelings of admiration and pride in my chest because I love his character so much!

GAH, DUMBLEDORE. I thought it was so, so important in these books to show the side of him that was less than saintly. He's all but a god in the canon books, and that generally transfers over to fic, but humans aren't perfect, and there are likewise imperfect sides to Dumbledore. I have a lot of issues with him, actually, so those got written into this story. :P He can be /scary/.

Ahaha! Poor Peter -- but not really, he totally deserves it. :D He just wants to save his own skin so much, and aren't we all like that, in some ways? Though I like to think I would essentially murder my friends for it.

YOUR REVIEW ALSO GAVE ME A LOT OF FEELS. ♥ Thank you so much for leaving it!!


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