Okay so I know you specifically outlined the fact that Sirius doesn't love Beth in your last review response and I am /trying/ to keep that in mind but you make it so hard when you write him being all happy and saying 'Beth and I' and all of that business!!!
If they are not going to fall in love I request you create a character based on me and insert her into the story. She could be a witch The Order saves from being attacked by Death Eaters and Sirius locks eyes with her and the rest is history . . . *day dreams*
I loved this chapter. It had a different tone to it from the rest of the story but it didn't feel out of place. I like how James was going about his duties but still managing to have fun with Sirius. I love it when we get to see James, Sirius and Remus together, it just makes me happy.
OH BABY NEVILLE AND BABY HARRY!! *squishes*
It's so weird that they are in the story but they aren't really and they don't exist yet, they are only a twinkle in their parents eyes. I hope we will get fluffly familyness from both the Longbottoms and the Potters. It's so heartbreaking that both families don't get to stay that way for very long so it will be lovely to see James, Lily, Frank and Alice as parents in this story. I have such a cute picture of how James is with Harry in my head already!
Oh also, James is so intuitive picking up on something with Beth and now Sirius. I really like how you portray James.
As much as it pains me to have to wait a week for the next chapter I really do love the fact I am caught up with the story and can see it unfold in real time. It takes me back to reading LO *squishes*Author's Response: Ahaha! You and your Siribeth! ♥ It is important to remember that, of course, but for the time being you may imagine whatever you wish. I give you full permission to let your imagination run wild. ;)
I did feel the need, especially when writing these earlier chapters, to include a few that broke away from all the nighttime sneaking around, especially because the first six chapters all take place at night. :P That's something I didn't mean to do, but when I imagined this story, it always took place in darkness. I think it's a reflection of how I see the story... but anyway! Yes, there needs to be some light moments like these sprinkled throughout, I think.
Writing about Harry and Neville as really, really little kids is so weird! But we'll definitely see family things from them, of course -- mostly from James and Lily. I don't have my outline next to me right now, but I'm 99% sure this book ends just after Harry's born, so we'll see that before I move onto Breaking Even! And really quickly -- I'm so happy you like my James, too. He's massively fun to write. :)
I'm having LO flashbacks, too! :D I'm just so excited you're reading a story of mine on an update-to-update basis again, and really, just thank you. ♥ I honestly cannot tell you what it means to me! Report Review
Oh wow this was amazing!
The writing style was so unique, it kind of read like a poem in my head. It had a very hypnotic rhythm to it.
The way you describe Azkaban is perfect.
'Azkaban is a festering wound, a slain beast with ulterior motives, a pathogen in the newly-born and glorified world where the equal revel, and the less equal are ingested and vomited into this pit of blackened life-preservation.'
That sentence is utter perfection! I would never be able to write something like that!
Interesting that you wrote about Harry saving Malfoy again. It is a testament to Harry's character. He was always wanting to save people, he wanted to see the good in them.
Brilliant! Report Review
I loved this.
It was so simple in its style and the words you used and that is why it has such a huge impact.
The emotions you portray in a small amount of words is excellent, it really hits home that George would have been so lost without Fred.
My favourite line was : but when there is a big family occasion I do feel that I need to participate more for him then myself.
I don't know why but that really resonated with me. It's like George tried to fill the void Fred had left so that members of his family wouldn't feel the pain as much.
Brilliant one-shot. It flowed really well! Report Review
*dances around* SIRIBETH SIRIBETH SIRIBETH *dances around some more*
Oh wow Sirius ♥ 'Yes, Sirius could makes this work' MY SHIPPER HEART!
I loved how you wrote that part. It was like a rom-com movie where one of the characters is all in anguish on the other side of the door because they want to go out and talk to the other person but they are scared.
OH WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?! How is Beth going to react when he makes a move? How is he going to react if she rejects him? What if she doesn't? What about Snape?
GAH. THE FEELS.
He doesn't want to be lonely and Beth has just come crashing into his arms at two in the morning and now he is thinking 'well maybe I could love her' and my heart is a puddle of feels *and breath*
The Sneth bit was good too. I mean she totally just threw aside the fact he killed a man and he has a dark mark and the fact that she's in The Order and she should be arresting him not promising to OWL him and then walking away with a huge grin on her face.
That's like sneaking out of your room at night to go meet the boy who has hundreds of tattoo's, owns a motorbike, smokes, drinks AND is older than you. GOOD LORD BETH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
The bit where she pulled his sleeve up was so darn intense! And he wants to find out why his patronus is a Thestral, I'm looking forward to finding that out myself.
OH WOW THIS CHAPTER ♥Author's Response: I knew you would like this chapter! :D You are one of the largest Siribeth shippers, after all, although they are sort of growing in number. The most important thing to remember is that he DOESN'T love her -- not in that way. He is a very lonely person, and feels his best friend has replaced him, so he's trying to steal back a bit of that by pursuing things that don't exist where Beth is concerned. It is vital to remember that. :)
Beth and Severus are very human in that they are both making pretty stupid decisions right now by deciding to be together, and yet they're throwing away rationality (something quite highly valued by both) for each other, which actually says a lot about their relationship (hint, hint!). It's basically an idiotic choice to make, and yet their wants are outweighing their needs, if that makes any sense at all.
I think we got a little preview of why his patronus switched! :3 So, so glad you liked this chapter, and I'm eager to see your reaction to the one I'm about to post, too! Your reviews are seriously fabulous, Callie!! Report Review
Oh I loved this chapter!
Making Snape's patronus a Threstral is some kind of genius writing idea (that made NO sense). I don't think anyone else would have thought of doing that. It fits in with the story and Snape's character so that everything is kind of linked together even if they aren't explicitly linked (if you get what I mean there).
The Veritaserum bit was amazing. It's meant to make people spill their truths to everyone else not make the actual person drinking it see the truth. I am glad he's finally figured out why Beth was so mad at him. I wonder what he's going to say to her when she meets him at the bridge? Because he also realised that she is involved with something and that something might not be quite in line with what he himself is involved in.
I also like the fact you portray Snape as extremely clever. It isn't by a happy coincidence that he managed to fool Voldemort for all those years, getting into the highest circle of Death Eaters whilst still managing to remain someone who Dumbledore trusted as well. That's the one thing I can admire about his character, just how much he put himself on the line and how clever he had to be to pull that off for most of his life.Author's Response: Don't worry, your sentence makes perfect sense! :) Making his patronus a thestral is an idea that largely came from a conversation with Sarah, but I'm really, really pleased with the way it turned out. And that a lot of other people seem to like the way it was done, too!
I don't know if it's canon to have somebody who is able to fight Veritaserum, but it seemed plausible with what we know of Harry's fighting the Imperius Curse, so I went with it. ;) Snape's SO clever, though, to have fooled Lord Voldemort for seventeen years -- I really wanted to get that across, as well. You just get this story!
Thank you so much, as always, for taking the time to leave me such lovely reviews. I'm honored to have you as a reviewer, and your opinion means a lot to me! ♥ Report Review
*squishes the marauderyness in this chapter*
So much nostalgia for ITB!
James and Lily are so darn adorable. The way you write them being so in love with each other is exactly how I picture them. It's so cute how after a year of marriage he still can't believe how lucky he is. I also like the fact you write Lily as being as in love with James as he is her, some people write her as being quite cold and I don't like that. And the fact the first thing she suggests is inviting everyone else round, it just shows how much she loves James and knows what's important to him.
PETER SAT THERE BEING ALL INNOCENT AND FRIENDLY WITH EVERYONE! Is he bad yet? When does he go bad? Are we going to see it happen? I have never been so suspicious about a character in my life! I am analysing him every time he appears.
Oh yeah, I so totally thought Lily was going to tell James she was pregnant when she came running to him.
Does James know something? It's like he has a sixth sense when it comes to Beth. If she tells him about Snape I wonder how he will react. Surely he'd tell her to tell someone in The Order about it? He's not going to want her to strike up a friendship with someone like that. And if he blabs Sirius will flip because she got herself into that situation.
OH AND WILL HE OWL HER? And what could he possibly say to her? He's not going to out himself as a soon-to-be-fully-fledged Death Eater and admit he killed someone.
Oh poor Beth. . .Author's Response: This is one of my favorite chapters I've yet posted, and for a lot of the reasons you bring up -- there's a lot of nostalgia here, and it's the first chapter to break away from a bit of a dark monotony. :) I really love writing the easygoing nature of James and Lily's relationship compared with Beth and Severus's too, so there's that as well. I think it's a bit annoying to write Lily as being annoyed with James all the time, don't you?
Peter! Oh, you'll find out a bit more about his motives, et cetera in later chapters. :D And yes, I do think James has a bit of extra knowledge when it comes to Beth, largely because he is a sort of brother figure for her. And we saw that in dealing with her original crush on Snape in ITB, too.
Poor Beth, indeed. :P I'm so happy you've reviewed all these chapters for me, though, and you like the story so much! It seriously means so much to me to have you as a reviewer -- I cannot ever, ever tell you enough! Report Review
I WANT TO BANG THEIR HEADS TOGETHER!
Oh they frustrate me so much. Like, for goodness-sake just say what you want to say! Which I know is easy for me to say and hard for them to do because they both have an inkling that they are now on /very/ different sides and that them being under the bridge cannot be a coincidence.
It made me laugh how they still acted how they did in school. The pair of them have had to do a lot of growing up over the year they haven't seen each other but they still can't form coherent sentences around each other.
Beth's life is about to get com-pli-ca-ted!Author's Response: Beth and Severus work in unsaid words and misunderstandings. It's their thing. ;)
I do think girls especially work in that way, though, being all cryptic and elusive -- and Severus is very much that way himself (not that he's feminine, ofc), and when you put a pair like that together, they're not really going to be blunt and up-front about anything. Which is a pity, but it does make for plot conflict!
It's true, though, that they've got a bit of that old I-can't-say-anything-to-you-without-feeling-sick thing going on. :D Then again, they've been separated for over a year, so that's probably natural.
Thank you once again for taking the time to leave such a nice review! You're awesome! ♥ Report Review
“If we – if things go wrong, it’ll be for a good cause.”
GOOD LORD WOMAN THAT LINE!!! Honestly that single sentence was so heart-wrenching!
THIS CHAPTER GIVES NOTHING AWAY WHAT-SO-EVER!!
A thousand questions flew into my head when Snape grabbed Beth.
Is she going to find out what he has just done?
Is Snape going to find out they are looking for Mulciber?
Will Alice come back and see them together?
Who else is Snape with?
Will Sirius come back?
WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!
Oh I am so glad I can just read the next chapter straight away and have my questions answered!
Loved Sirius at the beginning of this chapter. I love the way you describe him and relate him to his animagus form so well. I've probably said this before but the Sirius you have created is such a refreshing take on him from the usual 'suave playboy' character.Author's Response: I'm so glad a lot of people picked up on that line! :) I love writing Frank and Alice -- they truly were such brave people, and don't get nearly the amount of credit in Marauder-era that they're due, I feel.
All of those questions are answered in future chapters, which I know you have read by now, but I'm actually quite pleased that you seem to know what to ask. ;) And that this story is getting you to ask questions at all -- it makes me feel like I'm doing something right!
I DESPISE playboy Sirius, and really strove to move away from that with this story, so I'm ecstatic you like that difference. :3 You're so awesome for leaving me all of these reviews, Callie, honestly! ♥ Thank you so much!! Report Review
Goodness me this chapter was good!
Everything about it was perfect.
You just get Snape's character so well. The way he can't believe he's got to kill someone but in a way he knows he has always known that this is what it would come too. And the fact that in the bar he is the one that Rosier looks to for the plan because, well, it's Snape. And the way he is trying to think of the bigger picture to justify what he is about to do.
And then when they are following the muggles and he knows he is about to kill someone. And then he does it and its so quick.
GAH. SO MANY FEELS AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE SNAPE!
Loved the part about feeling like his soul was splitting. Nice touch.
DID THEY BLOW UP A BUILDING?! Way to be conspicuous guys!Author's Response: I love, love, love writing Snape, and (hopefully without sounding conceited) I do think I get his character very well, simply because I've spent a lot of time examining and reading about his motives, and the way JKR sees him, too. :3 Gahh, that does sound rather full of myself, doesn't it? But I definitely do agree with you -- he often fails to see immediate consequences because he looks at the big picture, and that's a very accurate description.
I WILL MAKE YOU ADMIT TO LIKING SNAPE BEFORE THE END OF THIS TRILOGY. ♥ I'm glad you caught that bit about his soul splitting, too! Full disclosure: I was still a tad on the young side when I read HBP, and Horcruxes absolutely baffled me. It's only fairly recently I could wrap my head around how they were made! :P Or how much we know about how they're made, anyway; JKR is holding out a bit of information on us...
Bahaha, the end of this review makes me laugh. :D Again, thank you so much for dropping back by and reading these chapters for me -- and I can't wait to hear your opinions on the rest of the story, too! You are so fab! ♥ Report Review
Powerful ending is UBER powerful.
Whilst reading the chapter the thought of them having to hurt/kill someone did cross my mind and then when I was actually presented with it I was just sat there staring at the screen.
Lucius was brilliant in this chapter. I always imagine him with Jason Issac's condescending tone and it fit perfectly. And it is just the way he is so casual about what they have to do that just makes it so dark.
And the fact that Snape has had that dream about Beth and he knows how she feels about what he is doing and now he is faced with having to kill an innocent muggle. . . gah. I like the fact that you show that Snape was taken aback by it, other people may have just skipped that part and gone for the side of Snape that is eager to rise in the ranks. I have no doubt that he will do it. Because that's who he is, he likes to achieve. But this is where it is all going to start for him, the feeling of guilt that he carries with him after Lily's death.
BUT HE DOESN'T LOVE LILY SO WILL HE ACTUALLY FEEL ANYTHING WHEN SHE DIES?!?!?
Oh it's going to be the idea of disappointing Beth and not being able to be the man she deserves that is going to eat him up.
Hm, the whole Snape plot-line has been altered and now my head hurts!Author's Response: I'm trying very hard not to sugarcoat anything -- yes, the Death Eaters are a pretty horrible band of people, and yes, Snape was a full-fledged member of their group before something caused him to switch allegiances. I do think that there is something in him that's conflicted about the actions, just because of his childhood and loving Lily as he did (both in canon and in this story), but a stronger part of him wants the power and authority he sees in the members of Voldemort's inner circle, and that's where he wants to be. That's what he thinks is going to get him everything he's ever sought after, respect and loyalty, all of it.
I loved writing Lucius in this! I did see him as Jason Isaacs, too -- I hear a lot of movie character's voices in my head when I write, like Evanna Lynch. Which is funny, of course, because when reading the canon books, I still see every single character as I saw them before they had actors portraying them, but fic is more film-oriented. Except for the Hogwarts layout -- I write in my version of Hogwarts, not the movie version. Who knows why?
I'VE GOT A WAY AROUND THE LILY FACTOR, I PROMISE. I can't tell you what it is, of course, but I really do think it works. :3 It factors into Beth and James, too, but that is all I'll say! I've worked hard to make putting Beth into canon, and doing so with the utmost amount of believable explanations, so I'm just crossing my fingers, hoping it works out.
-hands you pain reliever- Hang in there, Callie. All will be revealed in due time. :) Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a review on this chapter!! ♥ Report Review
Perfect setting for the Order meeting. The Order isn't an official thing really, which I sometimes forget. It is essentially an underground organisation and choosing to hold their meetings in such a run down, tiny, horrible place fits the idea perfectly.
SO MANY PEOPLE!
Frank, Alice, Dorcas, Elphius, Moody, Dedalus!!
So many of them.
I loved it. It's one of the reasons I love this era so much, we get to hear about so many of the minor characters that are mentioned only in passing in the trio's era.
You really do have a knack for adding little details that bring a sense of realism to your stories. Like Remus eating the crackers and Elphius trying not to spill his tea. You could just focus on the main events in the chapter but you add those little things in and it just makes everything more three dimensional.
I HAD A CROSSOVER MOMENT WITH THIS STORY AND RUN WHEN SIRIUS WAS TALKING ABOUT REGULUS. Now I haven't read much of Run but I could just imagine them finally getting to sit down and talk about everything that happened and Sirius realising what Regulus did and Regulus realising that he had missed out on a brother and my mind was all mush because I HAD A CROSSOVER MOMENT WITH TWO FANFICTION STORIES!! *flails*
I did a lil fangirl jig when Beth put her head on Sirius' shoulder. But then you added the word sisterly to her hug and I deflated a little.
A MISSION! This could be interesting. Sirius is going to have to be super serious to prove that he can be trusted. Loved the image of him dancing when he found out by the way, I giggled.Author's Response: One of my goals in writing Beth and Snape's story, and ITR in particular, is trying to make a really good headcanon for most of the events of the First Wizarding War. We have canon details, but we're either missing good chunks, or have conflicting information from varying websites, so I want things to seem as realistic as possible. So I'm really glad the Order headquarters seems plausible. It's weird, I think, writing not only away from a Hogwarts setting but inventing a lot of new ones, too. Before this, I'd never written a novel-length fan fiction away from Hogwarts, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little nervous. But anyway!
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY IS SO INTIMIDATING. And keeping track of them all is nerve-wracking! Knowing exactly what body parts Moody's lost, who's going to die and who's going to make it out, according to canon... I'm pleased you appreciate the little details, too. :3 Most of those are just thrown in there to make chapters exciting for me, but I do want the scenes to seem real, too, and I am happy you enjoy them!
Sarah thought it was very amusing you found that crossover moment. :D Thank you so much for leaving me this review!! ♥ You're always just so sweet, and these responses don't even halfway convey my appreciation. Gah. Thank you!! Report Review
And I have finally arrived to start reading!
I've been meaning to sit down and get a few chapters of this under my belt but alas real life has not permitted. But have no fear for I have some time now.
So excited to read this! I love ITB, the whole plot has just captured my attention and I am really looking forward to seeing how Beth handles all the stuff that is going to come her way.
There was so much Siribeth in this and it made me so happy. I love their friendship and the fact that now James is a married man that Sirius has stepped in to kind of take over his role. It just means that they spend loads of time together and you know that is going to make me happy!
Frank and Alice sound like such BAMFS in this chapter! Beth seems to have so much respect for them and it's nice to read about them before they were sent insane. I hope we get to see more of them, their characters fascinate me.
I love the bit about Beth thinking about Snape when she's alone in her flat. Take it from a girl who loved the same boy for 8 and a half years (and who subsequently broke my heart) no matter how long it has been they will always find some way of creeping into your thoughts, even if just for a fleeting second. And I think what makes it worse for Beth is she never got the relationship, she just got all the mixed emotions so she has to life with a thousand what ifs.
I also find myself now being rather suspicious about Peter. When he asked about James I immediately began to question why he wanted to know. Which is silly because it is still before all of that happened but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!!
Loved the urge Beth had to pull out a pack of exploding snap. It kind of brought the timeline of the story into perspective. Yes they are now in the adult world but it was only a mere 12 months previous that they were still pulling pranks and doing homework. It shows just how quickly they have been expected to leave all of that behind.
I am intrigued to know what Snape has been up to over the past year. . .Author's Response: Callie! I'm so excited to hear your opinions on this sequel! :D No worries about the wait, of course -- goodness knows it took me enough time to respond to all your reviews when you marathon-read ITB, and after that, no one should feel bad about anything! :P
I really am just so happy you like this story, simply because it is about Snape (even if you, like others, ship Siribeth!). Sirius's taking over for James is a sort of plot point, and comes up later, so keep that in mind... And yes, you'll definitely see more of Frank and Alice, too! I've really enjoyed exploring their pre-tortured characters here, and they're supposed to be so brave; it's interesting, bringing that to light.
PETER IS A SUSPICIOUS GUY. ;) You'll see his perspective later on, actually -- I think it's chapter 15? Yeah, that sounds right. But now I seem to be just rambling, so, you know. This is as good a place as any to cut off this response -- just be on the alert for all things!
Thank you so much for coming back and giving this story a shot! I really am eager to see what you think of it. :3 Your reviews mean a lot to me, and I'm so, so happy to have them! ♥ Report Review
I don't think I have ever read a chapter so fast in my life! I just wanted to know what was going to happen so badly!
Jane, your writing in this chapter has surpassed anything you have written before. I won't give examples because I would just have to copy and paste the whole thing. Seriously, the words you choose to describe things and people's emotions are just perfect. That opening paragraph was one of the best I have ever read.
SO MUCH INTENSITY I THOUGHT MY EYES WOULD BURST!
And Ron - oh I love how you wrote him. And the part about nothing else mattering and then Hermione asked about Harry and it was as though they were both on the same wavelength but they didn't want to admit what they were both thinking.
And Hermione screaming Harry's name! I can just imagine that so clearly in my head, it is a heartbreaking image. And Ginny paralysed with grief and Ron not knowing what to do other than hold Hermione knowing that he can't change what has happened. That they have both lost their best friend.
AND BAD ASS NEVILLE! And then he was burning and my face was literally centimetres from the screen and they he pulled the sword out and was all bad ass again.
BUT THEN HE DIED! NEVILLE IS DEAD. Both people the prophecy could have been about are dead. BUT WHAT CAN THAT MEAN?! Can anyone else conquer Voldemort?! OH THE QUESTIONS!
AND RON IS BEING FORCED TO LEAVE HERMIONE, THE GIRL HE HAS ONLY JUST CONFESSED TO LOVING AND NOW HE'S BEING FORCED TO RUN AND HE CAN'T SAVE HER!!!
And she has a broken wrist! Does she have her wand? What will happen? Surely she'll be captured. Oh god that doesn't bare thinking about.
THE FEELS JANE! THE FEELS. I am one huge puddle of FEELS.Author's Response: Callie, this review! ♥ You always leave me the sweetest reviews, and it's so hard to respond to them without completely melting. I shall try my best!
Oh my gosh, though, now I'm reading it again and giggling like a maniac. I'm so happy you enjoyed this, and the imagery and just everything! This story is so interesting to write, and I really get absorbed in it, even if (and maybe because) it's darker than anything else I've yet attempted, with the possible exception of 'Descending.' I just wanted to shake things up, throw caution to all the winds -- and see if I could get my characters through. It's like a puzzle, and I LOVE puzzles, so this story's really taking me in! :P
ALL THE FEELS. Conquering Voldemort say what, Neville's dead now! But... maybe they've already conquered him? Ron and Hermione are going to have quite the time. ;) And now that I've attempted to tease your brain, I'll stop, but honestly, thank you so much for this review. I'm so happy you like the story, and comments on it really do mean a lot to me!
♥ Report Review
OH MY LORD!
I am so excited to read this!
I was slightly dubious about it what with it being Ron/Hermione but I have a feeling this is going to be one kick ass story!
Honestly where do you come up with these ideas?!
The platform bit was perfect. It echoed JKRs scene so well, the characterisation, the flow, the wording. I pictured it exactly as I pictured whilst reading Deathly Hallows.
I am the same as Naida I secretly wanted JKR to kill Harry off. I think the outcome of Harry's death is such an interesting idea and now I get to read a fic based on that exact thing!
'I'm coming home, Mum' MY CREYS!
Oh wow, I could actually picture Dan Radcliffe saying that in the film with leaving Hogwarts playing in the background, it was just so perfect!
AND VOLDEMORT! What is going on with the drop of blood?
Is that because when he came back he used some of Harry's blood and now because Harry's dead that part of Voldemort sort of dies too? AND HE JUST DESTROYED A HORCRUX WITHOUT KNOWING!! OH I am so intrigued as to what is going to happen now.
I just know that you are going to write a horribly heartbreaking chapter where Ron and Hermione find out Harry's dead and it is going to leave me a puddle of feels all over my laptop keyboard.
CANNOT WAIT FOR THE REST!Author's Response: Yes, I'll convert you to this pairing, too! :D This idea's something I've been toying about with for quite some time -- I love imagining what might have happened if this had replaced that, and so forth. And like you and Naida, I actually kind of wanted Harry to die, too (tragic endings are my favorite, what can I say?). And so -- this happened!
SO glad you liked the platform scene -- it made me a bit nervous, writing it, but I'm really pleased with the way it turned out. :) And yes, that drop of blood is definitely, definitely significant! You're on the right track with your theory, although I won't say too much more here. ;)
I can't wait to see your response to chapter two -- my favorite of the three I've written! :D Thank you so much for leaving me a review on this, Callie, and being so supportive in general! Report Review
Hi firefly here with your review!
This story was definitely bittersweet.
It's an interesting take on what happens to someone just after they die. For me it was almost as if Tonks' soul was waiting for Remus to join her and only then could she go on to the other side.
I like the fact that Tonks acknowledged Teddy and that she realised he would left an orphan.
What I think you did well was show just how much Tonks loved Remus. It affected her that she was dead but what affected her more was the fact that she couldn't feel Remus. When you love someone that much you can't bear to be away from them. Tonks knows that Remus died too and the way you wrote her wanting to reach out and touch his hand portrays just how lost she feels without him.
Nice touch adding the hint about Remus going off to be with Harry when he uses the resurrection stone.
Like I said it was a really bittersweet story, it was lovely but heartbreaking at the same time.
Callie ~Author's Response: Hey thank you for the review!
It seems like you have picked up on everything I really wanted to convey in this story such as Tonks needing Remus to pass to the other side and the whole situation being bittersweet because although they have both died, this way they can be together for the rest of eternity and I feel that's a very comforting thought to have.
Tonks for me had to acknowledge Teddy because a mothers love can never fade. It will always be at the forefront of peoples minds no matter if they try to hide it or not. Being left an orphan would be beyond awful so I think Tonks had to say that she knew this.
I love the ship of Remus and Tonks because it sort of shows they weren't afraid to follow their hearts and of course what would affect her would be Remus not being close to her although they were now both of the spiritual world. I just wanted to show how much they loved each other.
I'm glad you saw the hint I left in about Remus going on. Not many people picked up on that but I'm glad that you spotted it!
Thank you so much Report Review
Jane you continue to amaze me with your talent.
I loved the style of this piece. I totally got that it was meant to be Percy's conscience. I think you portrayed his character perfectly. I always imagined Percy to feel as though he needed to life up to what his older brothers had done but not follow in their footsteps.
I feel like Percy, rather like Snape, had a one-track mind. Percy wanted to be successful and because of that other things in his life had to be forgotten.
I'm glad JKR had Percy realise what he had done to his family in DH because most of the time people in Percy's position do realise that they need their families in the end.
Great story :)Author's Response: For a story that I wrote in about an hour, I'm very attached to it -- and thank you so much for being its first reviewer. :) I'm really happy to hear that you picked up on the conscience thing, too!
Percy and Snape do have fairly similar attributes, and they were both led astray, in their own ways, which is very interesting. Out of all the Potter characters, I know without a doubt that I am most like Percy, and so writing about him's always a bit weird. Hopefully it's not a glimpse into my future. :D
Percy /does/ need his family -- and that, in the end, is his Heart's Desire. :3 Thank you so much for being willing to give this a shot, Callie! It means so much to me that you did! ♥ Report Review
Loved this chapter!
I love the mix of characters you've included and the fact that you have them all interact with each other. Dobby was of course my favourite. Jumpers and berets, that just made me laugh so much. Regulus was brilliant as well. What I liked was the fact that as a reader I could tell that these characters interacted with each other, it felt very real. And the fact you used characters that other people may not have thought to include was cool.
James and Lily and their scavenger hunts sound seriously adorable!
Ohhh poor Lily. How on earth are you supposed to greet a person who has spent his whole life doing what he was doing because of you? I can just imagine how awkward that meeting would be. 'Ah hey Sev, still kind of married and in love with James but thank you for protecting my son, putting yourself in serious danger and ultimately dying for me' Can't see that going down too well.Author's Response: Dobby's eternally adorable, for a creature with huge eyes and a snout. I am envisioning him in the afterlife, wearing as many clothes as possible and strutting around with all of his swagger. I like to imagine that all of these characters have a long-established banter, and that they get along so well with each other that they can afford to Petrify each other every now and then and bygones will be bygones. ^ ^
I feel bad for Lily and her sticky situation, but I feel much worse for Severus. He has no idea what he has coming. :(
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Tonks was heartbreaking in this chapter.
You described the way she felt about leaving Teddy behind perfectly. And the little bits of description about the way Teddy looks were brilliant. I particularly loved the part about his hair changing colour depending on who he was dreaming about. It's little touches like that, that just add so much more to a story.
-the girl with shining black hair and a love for foxes that used to be Bellatrix before she strayed into a disease so vast that it consumed her.
^ best line from the whole chapter. It gave me chills.
I loved the part where Remus disappeared because of the resurrection stone, it cements this universe with the what was happening in canon.
Again imagery, description, choice of words and the way you make this place seem so real is amazing!
10/10Author's Response: Poor Teddy. :( And poor Tonks, too. By now, Teddy doesn't even remember what he's missing, but that heartache will stay with Remus and Tonks.
Bellatrix is such a fascinating character. I'd love it if JKR came out with more information about how she was when she was younger. It would be interesting to see if she was always a little bit crazy, or if something happened in her life that sent her over the edge.
Including the resurrection stone was something I did in hopes of sealing the two worlds together, so I'm VERY happy that you said that!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope that you continue to like it. :) Report Review
I have been meaning to read this story for so long that somehow it now has sixteen chapters and I'm only just beginning to read it!
The premise of the story is such an interesting concept and the fact that you just drop us right into it without really explaining what's going on is for me refreshing. There are to many instances where an author feels the need to go into detail about the concept of the story straight away, especially if it something different such as yours.
I like getting to know unusual settings as I go along in a story, it adds to the pleasure of reading.
The way you write as well, is amazing. Honestly, I have read a few of your other stories and the calibre of writing you always produce is outstanding.
The imagery and the words you choose to describe every little detail just brings the chapter to life.
I especially loved the last two paragraphs, your description was just so vivid that the words jumped off the screen.
And the characters! My favourite bit by far was the fact that Godric bellows sonnets up at Rowena. I ship those two and the image just made me giddy.
Also loved the mention of Sirius and him bewitching the quaffle.
I don't know why but when I think of the place you have created I see it as a very arty indie film, with lots of abstract colouring and eccentric camera angles.
This was an excellent chapter (if you can't already tell from the gushyness of this review) and I can't wait to read the rest!
10/10Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for stopping by my story. :)
Unusual settings are my favorite things to write. XD I'm glad you're liking it so far! And I'm pleased you liked the introduction.
Godric is a bit ridiculous, but I have fun writing him. Hee, Godric ships himself with Rowena, too. You'll see that Rowena's feelings on that front are a bit conflicting. :3
Haa, Sirius. Like Godric, I've made Sirius a bit more light in comparison to the other characters because without some comic relief, this story could easily become too bogged down with angst.
An arty indie film! I like that!
Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)
- Sarah Report Review
You did it Jane!
You got me to read a whole story based around a character I had never given a chance in any other fic I have ever read EVER!
*bows down to your greatness*
I am so glad there is a sequel because I don't have to feel all gloomy like I did at the end of Leaping Obstacles when I had no more Cedric/Rachel to read.
What struck me in this chapter is how alone the people who chose to be Death Eaters really were. There you have Beth surrounded by all her friends, planning a wedding and they're all happy. And then you have Snape who basically forces himself through the door into a life he thinks he wants.
It's so sad that people like Snape got so caught up in the allure of power and infamy.
OHMYGOD SHE'S LIVING WITH SIRIUS.
*be-still my shipper heart*
Seriously though Jane, I admire your talent so much. You are like a writing machine and what you do write is full of so much quality its unbelievable. Watching you write your multiple novels gives me hope that one day I'll have a novel on here with 'completed' underneath it. You're one of the reasons I have started my Arthur & Molly short story collection, you've always had such kind words about my writing and you have filled me with confidence.
I'm glad I'm not just a reader and reviewer of your stories but your friend as well :)Author's Response: You know you TOTALLY didn't have to read this, right? :D And yet I am so, so, SO happy you were willing to give it a shot! Seriously -- the fact that you read this means a lot to me. (Now, whoever said there wouldn't be an LO sequel? Really, Callie, have some faith. :D)
I love the Order/Death Eater juxtaposition, and I love even more how a lot of people -- you included -- have picked up on it without me being all OH, HEY, LOOK HOW /DIFFERENT/ WE ARE. I see them as very, very light-and-dark opposites but I just think it's so neat that I didn't have to write that explicitly. Anyway!
Your friendship is so awesome. :) And thank you so much for your kind words -- I will hug them to my soul for a very, very long time. ♥ You'll definitely have a completed novel someday -- you can do it! Me, I just have no life. :P
A friend indeed. ♥ Thank you so, so, SO much for everything you've done for me where this story is concerned -- and others, too! I cannot say thank you enough. I shan't ever be able to. :)
DID I NOT SAY THERE WOULD BE DRAMA!!
Oh this chapter is definitely one of my favourites.
I don't think you could get any more misinterpretations of two people's feelings in this chapter if you tried!
There Beth is thinking Snape's all in love with Lily and has been using her. WRONG!
And then Snape thinks Beth has decided to support the whole blood purity thing. WRONG AGAIN!
I feel all of this drama is just a little too much for me!
You wrote it perfectly.
"Beth, please." I almost died at that moment.
YOU HAVE ME FEELING SORRY FOR SNAPE WOMAN!!
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!
They really do need their heads banging together.
Of course it is never going to work anyway.
She is light and he is dark. . . they do not mix well.
Now a little something made me go all giddy at the beginning of this chapter.
'and maybe someday find someone else'
*flails at the thought of what is to come*
This review probably didn't make any sense what-so-ever so I'm going to go ahead and read the last chapter and try to leave a coherent review on it!Author's Response: DRAMA INDEED. And, yeah, I'm going to go by what I said in my last review to you -- I think that if Severus and Beth actually took the time to talk things over, and weren't so insistent about hiding their feelings, they'd be a lot better off. :P But alas, where would the plot be then?
Ahaha, you, calling out their wrongness. I am grinning so much right now. :D Sympathy for Snape was exactly what I was going for, yahoo! I have succeeded! ♥ (You and your Siribeth shipping. :3)
I've left my share of incoherent reviews, and this is nothing compared to those. :D Gah, I'm still so happy you read all these chapters! Thanks a million times over, Callie! Report Review
It did make me think about the nature of the patronus though. It's a form of protection right? But what happens if you haven't got a really strong happy memory in which to draw from? Like with Voldemort, he probably couldn't produce a patronus because he never experienced true happiness. He may have thought he had but that was just his warped idea of power. So maybe the other guys won't be able to produce one because they've never been truly happy.
I WANT A FINSBY.
He was so darn cute!
Seriously I had a huge grin plastered on my face whilst reading the kitchen part.
With a name like Finsby I did imagine him talk with a stereotypical English accent xD
Oh Beth. He doesn't love Lily! She doesn't know ther back story and she is going to jump to conclusions! Nothing can run smoothly when it comes to Beth and Sev can it?!Author's Response: Someone else (I think Deeds) had very similar thoughts on reading about the patronus charms in this chapter. :D I do have to wonder if Voldemort had a patronus -- I don't think he would have. The Slytherin boys probably do, though, because I bet they have been happy, you know? Voldemort was conceived through a love potion, and that was the stem of a lot of his problems. Rosier and Avery and the rest, they just had pureblood fanatic parents. :D
I WANT A FINSBY, TOO! Easily my favorite part of this chapter -- I never before realized how much I loved writing house elves. ♥ And I just got an idea for a bit of a future chapter! Look at you, Callie, inspiring me! :P
I think misinterpretation and misunderstandings make up at least half of this story, if not more. :D THEY SHOULD JUST TALK, AM I RIGHT. Your reviews are so fab. ♥ Thank you so much for taking the time to finish this story! I'm so happy you did! Report Review
The dialogue in the chapter was simply flawless Jane.
- “Because it behaves so well the rest of the time,”
- “When you come back you will officially be attached to a ball and chain,”
- “Good or bad?”
JUST PERFECT. That last one cracked me up, imagining James wiggling his eyebrows.
HE FINALLY DID IT. HE PROPOSED. YAHO!!
Took him long enough!
Aww it was just so cute and adorable. I love fluff, I really do.
And Snape! He is finally realising he has feelings for Beth! Oh how complicated his life is about to become, what with being a soon to be Death Eater and being in love with a soon to be Order member.
IT IS GOING TO BE DRAMATIC.
And I love me some drama!Author's Response: Aaand this was another of those chapters I felt the need to skim over after reading your comments on it. :D Marauder dialogue only got easier as I continued with the story -- that was one of my initial concerns -- and now one of my absolute favorite things about writing this series is the back-and-forth nature of a lot of the conversations. Don't know what I'm going to do when it's all over. :(
I am aware of your appreciation for fluff. ♥ I loved writing this scene, too! Obviously romance is a big hook for me (well, look at LO and you'll see what I mean), and although the end result was nothing like I planned in my head, I think it was very JAMES. Moreso than intended. :D
Drama ahoy! Oh, there will be drama, my dear. All of my stories must have that. :P Thank you so much for this review, once again! It means a lot to me that you took the time to leave such nice comments! Report Review
It was just so full of marauderyness that I want to gather them all up and hug them!
Oh they all really are growing up aren't they?
I think Remus saying that he needed to go it alone with his transformations was the perfect way to bring up that fact that the five of them are on the brink of entering adult life. He's the more sensible one of the group (bar Beth) and it just fits that he brought it up with them.
And the conversation that followed shows how they really don't want to grow up.
I loved this chapter. I got such a melancholy feeling whilst reading it. There they are acknowledging the fact they are growing up but at the same time they are playing exploding snap and teasing each other. It just reminds me of the conversations I used to have with my friends when we were leaving school. There's all this anticipation of waiting for it to actually be over whilst at the same time still doing the stuff we'd been doing for five years.
I also liked the subtle jibes and digs at Peter in this chapter. They are becoming more noticeable and it gives a very ominous feeling when you know what happens in canon. It is a shame that Peter began to feel like he did and ended up doing what he did, because even if he was the butt of their jokes, they were still his friends.
FOUR MORE CHAPTERS LEFT TO READ
I am so glad there's a sequel!Author's Response: I had to go and re-read this chapter for myself after you left your review, just because of all the Marauder-y stuff. :D I love writing about the natural friendship between the boys, all the jokes and affection, and I really can't understand why more people don't choose to.
There are mixed feelings here, I think -- both the sense of stepping into the adult world, and the disbelief that they actually ARE. And part of me wants to keep them in the Hogwarts bubble forever! But I know they've got to go on, if for no other reason than I'm already 20 chapters into that 'on'. Still, it's like you said -- a bit melancholic.
PETER-JIBES. They're happening! Gah, Callie, you are so fantabulous for reviewing this entire story for me. I seriously cannot thank you enough. ♥ And I hope it took your mind off your surgery, if only for a moment! :3 Love you! Report Review
That statement is how I sum up this chapter.
Firstly, I am glad Beth isn't going to reply to her parents. If she really is going to become a fully fledged Order member, she is going to have to break away from them and forge her own path. She knows they aren't going to approve of what she is planning on doing, so what exactly is the point in them knowing? I mean granted they are her parents but they haven't exactly been model parents have they? Beth is a strong girl, she can cope without them.
And now onto Severus.
I like the fact you gave him the slight upper hand in this chapter. It is clear his Mulciber isn't used to feeling inferior to people and introducing Snape's knowledge of the patronus charm portrayed that perfectly.
I always wondered whether Snape showed anyone the spells he created. You write him as hesitant to show his creations to people and I think that at first maybe he wouldn't have wanted to share. But what about later on when they were Death Eaters? Could he have unveiled them as a way to get more recognition? I say this because it is clear that, that is the reason Snape is so interested in the whole blood purity thing, he doesn't really want power, he wants someone to say to him 'eh, you know what you're actually a clever wizard'. It is a little sad that he had to go to the lengths he did to get that recognition.
OH HE THINKS BETH HAS SWITCHED SIDES.
He is such a naive person. You are right he does have a one track mind. Its like if he thinks something is right and he thinks it hard enough then it will actually be right. He is going to be seriously disappointed when he learns that she's in the Order.Author's Response: That statement is pretty much how I sum up this story. :D And I think you're spot-on where Beth's parents are concerned; they really aren't very good parents (and that does happen -- not everyone's parents are /fit/), and the Order is something for her and her alone. Although her mother does make at least one appearance in the sequel, if you're curious. :3
I think you're also very right about his wanting recognition more than anything. Snape's spells also play a (somewhat minor) part in the sequel, so there's that, as well. :3 Someone once left me a review on this story and said it felt more like an introduction than a book on its own, and while I don't think they meant it as a compliment, I'm taking it as one, because it's very true. :D Beth's story wouldn't be much of a story if it ended here, and this is meant to lead right into a sequel without any (or hardly any) resolutions.
But I suppose you didn't need that lecture from me, did you? :3 YEAH, HE THOUGHT BETH SWITCHED SIDES. Sometimes he is so -- well, to use your word, naive. Bless him. But thank you so much for dropping back by and finishing this today! That's so awesome, and I'm just really, really grateful to you for doing so! ♥ Report Review
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