Hey, heres your requested review
First off, i almost cried!! You portrayed Dominiques emotions so strongly, its really overpowering to read- well done! I like how you didnt just put- Ah im pregnant. Or along the lines of the blatant obviousness, the fact that you waited until the end to fully acknowledge it again showed that your really intune with your characters and all thats going on in her head. Next I'd like to see background, maybe introduce the father and show how he's going to be, show how it happened, give Dominique an age, more defined personality etc. to help me further connect with the story. Over all, i can tell this is going to be amazing! Keep it up!
Yorkgal- definate 10/10!Author's Response: Ah! Thankyouuu this review made my day (And I needed a boost, I hate New Years! xD). I will be adding more detail as it gets more into the story at the moment I am focusing on how alienated Dom feels.
Bill (And Fleur) and going to be very important parts of this story but not until they find out :)
Thankyou so much and 10/10 Naw thankyou xxx Report Review
Heya, its your (incredibly late) review from the forum!
I adore this fic!! Lily and James are my favourite pairing of all time and you portray them both realistically so really well done for that!! I love how you described Lily falling slowly in love with James and it wasnt like 'oh my hero! I love him because he has an umberella!' and you portrayed them both perfectly. James wasnt, like in most fics, too over the top or too... un-marauderish. Also, Lily was nervous (expectedly) but she didnt wimp out because a key thing about Lily is that shes too stubborn to give up when shes in so far.
The idea for it all was very sweet and it flowed very nicely and smoothly thanks to the great description
See you on the forums
Yorkgal 10/10 ;)Author's Response: Oh, good. I really love Lily and James as well, and I'm really glad you thought my portrayal of them was realistic.
Thank you so much! :) Report Review
That chapter had me laughing so hard and as cliche as it sounds- i almost fell off my chair! If people sold giant snitch suits i would sooo buy one, that was a really creative idea!
I love Scorpius' characterization, its different to usual, they're out of school and they DONT hate each other. phew. For once that is (as you may tell i hate it when they hate each other) also, i love their banter and Rose's witty comments.
YorkgalAuthor's Response: Yay, I can't write stuff with out it at least trying to be funny. So its good that the funny is actually funny. lol. About Scorpius, and the turn for the norm, I didn't want to write the same old ScoRose and I'm glad that you like that. (I hate it when they hate each other too.) ;) Thank you so much for reviewing again! Report Review
Hiya- this is your requested review again :)
I love, love, love this! I would probably read it even if you hadn't put in a request! There was a lot more of a impact than the last chapter and you wrote the quidditch beautifully!
Roses relationships with Ron and Hugo were sweet and quite fitting- especially when you put in about Hugo stealing the toys from the quaffle-o's (that made me laugh) :) i feel the 3 year gap was needed, it sped things up and still didnt lose the readers.
Just a side note, i think we should have heard a bit of Hermione in this chapter, i know shes not much of a quidditch fan but at least at the begining.
Onto the next chapter!
YorkgalAuthor's Response: That's sweet thank you! I love that you love my Quidditch and all the little things, (my chapters don't feel right with out them).
About the Hermione thing, she's just not really in here yet because I am afraid of writing her. As well as her excuse for not being in this chapter was that she was working. ;)
Thank you so much for your review! Love it! Report Review
hi im writing a story and id like to use your title i wont use the a marauder story bit on it and i was just wondering if you have claimed copyright on it? Report Review
I like it it is original and intruiging. and id like to thank you for the review you left on my story, Loves Labours Undone telling me i added to many characters and now ive decided that im going to redo it or at least the first chapter and make it less confusing. I personally think you've changed my story for the better thanks again keep writing your good YorkgalAuthor's Response: thanks yorkgal!--- there were too many characters and different times in your story that i found rather confusing. my second chapter was rejected... i have to rewrite.. hope to see u in my reviews again~
Vivian( the amazing shape shifter) Report Review
wow wow wow i love this story the plot is a fabby idea and i would love 2 know more keep writing u r goodAuthor's Response: Thanks, I'm planning to put something up today so once it's been validated it should be up in a week. Report Review
WOW!!i loved the memory box and then when i finished it i went right on to this one im keeping an eye on this one and NEVER give up your writing is FANASTIC!!! luv Yorkgal Report Review
this story and living life are my two personal faves i dunno why but ive always kinda understood why lily was so harsh with james... eh well love is cruel ey
p.s i cant find reason to live i looked EVERYWHERE did u delet it or somethin pps im writin my first story called clueless and im not sure wether its good so if u see it gimme ur opinion thnx yorkgal xx Report Review
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