Reading Reviews From Member: Sheriff
  
101 Reviews Found

Review #26, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: The Match

16th June 2012:
I got the reference to LEBS immediately... sadly it seems the fate of your Slytherin doesn't quite follow my timeline.

I think the result of the match is a great twist on the Quidditch rules - I know from experience that it's not easy to write the game and (i) keep it interesting and (ii) do something different - and you hit both.

We're back in a very, very dark place though, aren't we? Kenzie's still unconscious (hope he's alright), Nick's been beaten senseless and on her way to exclusion, and everything that looked good is all disintegrating before our eyes. Ouch.

I get the feeling we won't be taking it lying down, mind.

A couple of little spots, as you mentioned it was not betad yet:
* "as I was trying to stop the first Bludger from Kenzie" - missing a "hitting" in there?
* "After I heard the whistle, having finally gotten McLaggenís attention, and my blood stopped pounding in my ears. Then the voices reappeared in my ear." - not a sentence, no verb in it

Author's Response: Ah, I'm so glad you got the reference. :)

Quidditch is rather difficult to write. I loved your spin on it, especially with the switching positions . so I'm thrilled you liked mine.

And we are back into the darkness. It doesn't get any better from here for another 5-10 chapters. It actually kind of goes even more downhill :/ Anyways, I hope Halloween lulled you into a sense of fluffy security so that it made the hit a bit more dramatic. That was kind of the point (I know I'm being kind of evil).

As for the little bits, I'm wincing right now. *goes off to edit* Anyways, thanks for the review, and you might be surprised at how Nick copes/what comes next. The plot's moving, though. :)

Thanks for the review!
Ellie


 Report Review

Review #27, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: Just a School

12th June 2012:
Lots of places are much more than just schools - I know mine is - but I suppose everything that counts here counts for Hogwarts a hundred times over...

Welcome back to writing; I have myself been struggling through the exam season from the other side of the desk, but the summer holidays are in sight now (let's just hope for some sunshine to go with it).

Are we going to see the rest of Harriet's Hogwarts years? Do we then get to see the grandkids making their own way to school...?

:-)

Sheriff

Author's Response: I have a feeling that everything is just 'more' at Hogwarts, if that makes sense.
It's so good to have the time to write again! And yes, if only the sunshine would come back... It's so typical of Britain, as soon as I was free it started to rain :(
There will be much more of Harriet and Lily's Hogwarts years. I haven't quite figured out how I will integrate the grandkids going to Hogwarts in yet, but hopefully I'll get there eventually!

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #28, by SheriffAlbus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince: Wolfsbane and Fame

12th June 2012:
I can see why this took you so long... it's massive! 8,000 words... that's like two and a half of my chapters!

I am glad to see that Scorpious has not lost any of his rudeness... I can see how Rose can't stand him (more irritated!Rose is always amusing as she's ginger and therefore hilariously temperamental). I'm also struggling to keep all the Patil & Weasley siblings straight. This is why I have gone for OCs with very few brothers; I'd just get confused.

That's no problem at all, though, compared to the state that these three have now found themselves in, eavesdropping on an interview with the vampire. Still, a bit amateur on the teachers' part - have they never heard of Muffliato?

PS I hope Sheriff the piranha gets more screen time and/or develops a taste for eating first-years.

Author's Response: Hello!

Isn't it massive?! I wasn't going for ridiculously LONG for this chapter but...there you are. It was two months since I had posted my last one and I thought, "Uh-oh..." but there you are!
Scorpious will never lose any of that "charm" when it comes to his entire being. He just...is. There's no other word to describe him! Hahaha. Funny, cause that's what he said about his own brother. Hahahah.
Rose can't stand Scorpious for a dozen reasons but that is part of it! Those darn gingers! Haha.
Sorry for letting you struggle with all the Patil and Weasley siblings. They don't show up very often in this story since its not about them at all, but I try to remind you all who they are in some way or another. My fault if you got lost! :(
I take full blame!
Trust me on this: I did get confused. :p
Hahaha. They're Misfits so of COURSE they're going to find themselves in trouble! It sort of goes to Lavender for being the spy, though. Hahaha. I hadn't thought of using the Muffliato spell in this, I sort of pictured it as more of a spur of the moment thing. I might explain that in the later chapter, just for you making an excellent point! :D
You know, I named that beast after you! I said I'd do something since you always leave me a review and there you are! You are part of this story! And it may or may not eat someone by the end of this...Scorpious's fingers got lucky. :D
P.S.: Updates shall be ridiculously slow since my computer died and I'm trying to get it fixed but don't think that I've forgotten about you! I pray to all that's holy (Rock Gods...?) that it won't take another two months for me to get a chapter up and ready for you guys.
Much love and thanks for pointing out obvious flaws!
Gabbie


 Report Review

Review #29, by SheriffFinding Platform 9 3/4: King's Cross

1st June 2012:
Pretty good for a first effort! I like the perspective of Tom's viewpoint and the repeated analogy of the chewing gum on the bottom of someone's shoe. There are also enough subtle hints to Tom's home situation to develop some sympathy for him without over-doing it, and I definitely want to read on.

My take on it is that Tom is clearly a wizard, or else he wouldn't get through the barrier, but he's one day out of that school year so won't get his letter until the following day, however the fluke of circumstance has meant that he's on the train anyway and therefore for everyone's sake (not to mention the paperwork) he'll stay at Hogwarts.

The style is clearly very much a stream of consciousness, which suits the narration of a 10/11-year-old boy, but the frenetic and unchanging nature of the punctuation and connectives (it's all comma, and, or full stop) could get a bit wearing in later chapters. Try using different links, more subordinate clauses that develop a situation (or more descriptive language: I don't think I know anything physical about Tom at all). You could also re-read to check your punctuation of direct speech and apostrophes (you have some where you shouldn't, and have missed others where you should have them).

The other thing is that children don't get back their individual marks from the Year 6 SATs, and also they're now dumbed down to such an extent that I expect hundreds or thousands of children will get full marks on them every year. However, I am probably the only reader who cares about that particular fact!

I hope that doesn't sound like a long list of criticisms, as I know full well it's a long road to develop your writing and this is a very good effort at a first step.

I've added it to my favourites and am looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this honest review!
I'll go through the chapter and review my punctuation, I know it annoys me when I see things out of place :) I absolutely love constructive criticism.
As for the Year 6 SATs, I'm not from the UK so I was just rolling with it, hoping it was as realistic as possible, oops... I also ust posted the second chapter which I shall go and edit again. Thanks again


 Report Review

Review #30, by SheriffMischief Managed: First Year: The Sorting

7th May 2012:
I love the idea and I love the implementation. I'm pretty sure I've read this before but never got round to leaving a review. Not entirely sure how I omitted to do that... Still, now I'm correcting that aberration.

I think you have captured the essence of the four characters well, through both the dialogue and the internal monologues they have with the sorting hat, whilst the little bits of backstory are thoroughly believable. I know Sirius' family and ancestry is canon - and how - but I don't believe JKR ever told us about the other Marauders' history. All of them seem to fit the bill, which is excellent.

As for (mild) CC: Speaking as a teacher, I am not sure there are that many new boys who will launch a prank like that on the first night... maybe at the end of teb first week... although having said that, clearly these are no ordinary new boys. Finally, you have one typo with a "Syltherin" in there somewhere. Oh, and wasn't Andromeda a Slytherin? Not that it matters...

In short, fantastic, and I'll be working my way through the next few chapters in due course. You have brightened a long evening on boarding duty!

Sheriff

Author's Response: Hello :)

Oh, well thanks for reading it twice! ;) Thank you very much; characterisation has always been the most important factor to me so I make sure the backstories remain consistant! :)

I completely agree with you actually! :P I wrote the first chapter a while ago and my writing has changed dramatically since then, so this chapter is on my list for a re-write! :P To me, James is unusually cocky for a First Year and the others are just desperate to either fit in or prove themselves. The idea behind the prank was more of James showing off. xD

Yep - Andy was a Slytherin - it's on my list :P Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm still making my way through your fantastic story so you'll hear from me soon! :)

Keira :)


 Report Review

Review #31, by SheriffLiam Wren and the Dragon Wand: The Working Hypothesis

7th May 2012:
... and the plot thickens.

I am still intrigued as to how the separate plot lines and subplots are going to find a way to weave themselves together... It feels like we are getting closer to the truth with the revelations about the Madagascan Red, but at the same time finding ourselves several steps behind the Slytherins (who are, as always, adept at playing the long game). I cant help but feel we are one major revelation away from a showdown...

Sheriff

Author's Response: Yes, the plot thickens, and threads from all over this book are slowly coming together . . . one of my main objectives (besides telling a good story) was to highlight the differences between the houses, particularly the scheming, manipulative Slytherins, the brilliant and inquisitive Ravenclaws and the sweet-natured and intensely loyal Hufflepuffs. I think these chapters definitely show that . . . I don't want to give any plot away, but there is an answer! Beware the Eaves of the Forest!

 Report Review

Review #32, by SheriffEven The Smallest Hands Can Leave The Biggest Impressions: Sweet Innocent Angel

26th April 2012:
Hi there - review, as promised!

First impressions are that you really capture the closeness of the bond between parents, and then with a young family. The strife they've gone through is handled really sensitively as well, without over-doing it and laying the misery on thick. Well done :)

I will be very interested to see how you take it from here - I certainly have never read an HP fanfic anything like it.

Sheriff

PS - Grammar spots:
"I'll go send you're paper work" - should be "your"
In the UK, we spell paediatric with the extra A
"their minds were pill out of their awestruck wonder" - pill (??)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I am glad that you like the story and think that it is original. I really wanted to try something different and out of my comfort zone.

I am happy to see that you didn't think I over did it on the misery. I didn't want it to come across as such or give it that woe-is-me feeling. I really put a lot of effort into being sensitive with the topic matter and making sure that Hannah/Neville shine along with Benji. I surely don't want to offend any readers.

I hope you like the chapters to come and I again I am thrilled that you liked it.

*Hides* Oh grammar! hahaha. I will make sure that I edit those. Thanks for pointing them out. pill should have been pulled. See this is why I love reviewers who are from the UK as well because then that way they can give me advice on word spellings and such!

=)

Thank you so much,
-SR17


 Report Review

Review #33, by SheriffLiam Wren and the Dragon Wand: A Very Long Night

25th April 2012:
Excellent! Great to see Liam back, and a most intriguing chapter to return with. I love the sense of politics and double-dealing within the Slytherin hierarchy and the subtle references to the mystery of the Dragon wand. I look forward to the rest of the story!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're pleased. I appreciate all your comments, even when you give me a hard time, but I love to hear when I have it right. Next time, the Dragon returns, and we go deeper into the dream! The chapter is up and awaiting approval . . .

 Report Review

Review #34, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: We Will Remember

17th April 2012:
They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.

Author's Response: *First notes of the Last Post* ... That was exactly the atmosphere I wanted to create :) Thanks.

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #35, by SheriffAlbus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince: Brooms and Blood

15th April 2012:
It's a long time since I read a chapter that literally made me laugh out loud, but here it is. Scorpious has such a disgusting mind... where did he learn such smut? Typical eleven-year-old boy!

I am pleased I understand the title now, at least. Go Lavender, btw. Never guessed she'd have that in her. It's always the quiet ones you need to watch. Them and the nutters with the firearms collections and mantelpieces filled with voodoo dolls. You should probably keep an eye on them, too.

I look forward too the next bit, in anticipation of Scor meeting someone who can go toe to toe with him in the gutter stakes...

Sheriff

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks again for reviewing this super long, long, LONG chapter! I totally didn't mean for it but I made you laugh out loud? Oh, my goodness I feel so accomplished right now! YES! I hope you were somewhere really serious too! Mwhahahhahaha. Yep, Scorpy's got that dirty mind going on but he does throughout the whole story, you see little bits and pieces of it. And its fun for this person to write! I will tell you now that he learned such smut from his dad and older brother (I can picture him eavesdropping on mature conversations that have NOTHING to do with him)
Can you imagine him being seventeen? That's the thrill for you!
I didn't think alot of people would understand the chapter title, its a bit confusing. I have a HORRIBLE habit of just coming up with anything on the spot. Its so tough coming up with chapter titles but I guess I had to explain something about Lavvy, she's a walking enigma.
Bwhahahaa! Firearms and such? I can picture the people with too many happy things, such as unicorns and teddy bears being the REAL weirdos. Hahahaha. You know, what? Lavender will talk about a voodoo doll soon, just to pay homage to you for being so awesome.
I'll try to update soon, I promise. I'm always really stunned with all the people that read this story, I never thought it would be very popular. (Sobs)
Who can match wits with Scorpy and that nasty mouth...? Hm...It might be James or, better yet, Sue Corner of all people! Bwhahah.
Mount your broom and grip the end tight!
Gabbie


 Report Review

Review #36, by SheriffAlbus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince: The Misfit Oddities

15th April 2012:
I do like the mixture you've got between the riotous cacophony of the first-years' day-to-day life / carnage and the actually fairly dark nature of some of the rest the plot, particularly the mudblood line. I did find a couple of the bits slightly tricky to follow (it's not always clear who the speaker is) but I'm going to keep on reading, no matter how long your chapters are.

In other news, I hate typing on iPads...

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for reviewing for me! This was my first-ever fanfic and I always love to have some feedback on it. But I do try to keep the day-to-day balance going on even with the dark plot that tends to come up. There were so many grammar mistakes with this chapter, but I'm so glad that you pointed out how unclear it is who's speaking. I need to do some HEAVY editing! I seriously don't want to but I must! I am a lazy miss! :D
Someone else said my chapters were really long, I might have to cut back a bit. I have a bad habit of just typing and typing and typing and not finding a good place to stop. Sorry!
iPads are hard to type on? This is news to me! I know not to get one!
Much love,
Gabbie


 Report Review

Review #37, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: Halloween

15th April 2012:
Ugh. There's fluff all over. It's getting in my eyes, and all over the carpet. Look where you're going with that, will you? Where are the screams, the fear and the terror? Oh, right, there they are. Under the sofa. Knew I'd left them somewhere around here.

:-)

Author's Response: Yes, but actually I'm just lulling everyone into false sense of fluffy security. :) There's another (semi) happy-ish chapter, and then things take a very steep dive (off a cliff into d/a land where I live). But . . .sh. It's a secret. :)

Yeah . . . I think some evil god possessed me and made me write something happy. Stupid divine powers. :(

Thanks for the review!

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #38, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: The Twelve Uses of Dragon's Blood

12th April 2012:
Erm... Substitute for human blood? Emergency energy drink?

Looks like I'm failing my first-year finals, too. Even Google doesn't help beyond spot remover. I do hope you give us all twelve...

Author's Response: Let down by Google, it doesn't often happen... Unfortunately I have not been much luckier. Some kind of healing properties? Due to Hagrid's application of it to his wounds. Ah well.

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #39, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: (Hypothetically) Things Fall Apart

11th April 2012:
Never underestimate a Slytherin. There is an art to controlling all the variables in a scheme, and then sitting back to watch it unfold: I am reminded (a little) of Warwick the Kingmaker...

I think it's important with a fiction like this, which is fundamentally all about House identity, and has some dark overarching themes, that you don't get distracted into A/P or S/R fluff. I think your balance is excellent thus far - subtle comic relief and nothing that affects the flow of the plot - and I'd hate you to lose what you've created.

I look forward, as ever, to the next bit.

Author's Response: Yes, we Slytherins can be quite sneaky.

I totally understand what you're saying with the balance. The next chapter may be a *little* fluffy, but I thought Nick needed a break from the cloud of darkness following her around. :) Also, I tend to make things semi-happy before completely destroying everything. And with the A/P, I'll let you in on a secret. It won't fully develop until a LOT of stuff goes down.

Thanks for reviewing, and I hope I can maintain the balance!

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #40, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: Adira's Story

30th March 2012:
Excellent :)

My reviews have been thoroughly absent over the last few days as the Easter term raced to its frenetic conclusion, however things are now all over and I'm now actually able to remember where I am and what's happening... might even manage some writing of my own before I inevitably pass out tonight.

I think you did a really good job of capturing the sheer pointlessness and futility of girl fights. I do feel that this is going to be a grudge that's harboured resentfully for the rest of their school years, to be brought up at the most inopportune times.

Matty Creevey's character is nailed on a balance between endearing and thoroughly irritating. As we would try to phrase it to a recalcitrant 11-year-old at school, personal space...

I look forward to seeing the plan to get back at Dante - and to finding out who was responsible for the full-body-bind (unless I missed that in my half-asleep state!)

Author's Response: Ahh, I love the feeling of the end of term. Not so much the lead up to it though...
Yes indeed, pointless and futile, very good words to describe the situation. And what on earth gives the idea that some of the girls may end up holding grudges?!
Matty is somewhat puppy-like in my eyes - quite cute at first but annoying to spend a lot of time with.
Dante will 'resurface' at some point in the near future, all guns blazing no doubt. And I never actually said who did the fully-body bind, I sort of left it open. It was meant to be Lily but could just have easily been Adira.
I'll look forward to reading your updates when they appear. My own may be absent for a week or so due to the temporary seperation from my own laptop, but I will still be reading on my phone. Thanks for the lovely review.

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #41, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: Biding Our Time

29th March 2012:
You're writing these faster than I can read them. The plot is thickening nicely without over-doing any of it, giving subtle hints here and there for the development, I like it.

However it's currently 1am for the fourth night in a row of finishing work post-midnight, and consequently I can barely form a sentence never mind a coherent review. I know how Nick is feeling right now. Thankfully it is the last day of term tomorrow. Roll on Easter.

PS - I did manage to spot that you lost first person for one sentence earlier on - "Nick laughed" rather than "I laughed". Only other feedback is descriptive language. Either I haven't paid attention or I don't know what the twins look like yet. I am imagining very short for some reason.

Author's Response: Don't worry . . . I'm not even close to being done writing the next chapter, so it'll be a while. (not sure whether to :) or :( at that)

Oooh . . . I hate when that happens. Luckily, I'm on Spring Break right now. :)

I'll go back and look at that sentence, and I actually haven't described Rhys OR Alyssa . . . oops. I will definitely do that in the next few chappies. :)

Thanks for your review!

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #42, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: Of Impromptu Defiance and Quidditch Tryouts

26th March 2012:
All that I can notice is that Owen is inherently an incredibly Welsh name. I think that's probably a sign of a one-track mind, and will have almost nothing to do with the plot - or will it? Dalton's spectacularly non-Welsh, mind. Hmm. This feels like the kind of overanalysis that English teachers love.

On the subject of the other plot - the Slytherins' plot, that is - I can't quite figure out what's going on yet, although I think I have an inkling (but how getting Creevey to deduct hundreds of points fits into it, I can't quite figure out). Meanwhile it feels like Nick might have to reveal that unspoken history, and as I write more of this review, so your subplots all seem to grow together - this is one of those chapters that does more than it seems on the tin!

I'll be interested to see how you handle Kenzie's story arc in keeping with the darkness that permeates the rest of the story. He does seem rather innocent/naive for a 14yo who's dealt with three years of prejudice.

I look forward to Part 6...

Author's Response: Ah, Owen. Honestly, I love the name Owen, and I wasn't trying to be Welsh. Remember the name Dalton, however . . . :)

More on the Slytherin's plot shall be revealed (I think in the next chapter). Al's stunt was mostly to grab attention, but also because I really wanted to mention that Merlin was a Slytherin.

And Kenzie . .. appearances can fool you. Watch out . . . :)

Thank you so much for the review, and I don't know if you saw, but I dropped two reviews on YOUR stories. I'm glad you're looking forward to the next bit. :)

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #43, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: The Plan

18th March 2012:
I look forward to seeing the full plan in action... How are we going to be able to stay out of trouble long enough to win the House Cup with professors like Creevey and Anselm on the prowl? Jumping off the roof sounds fun...

One quibble on this one - it's "Bubotuber Pus". The second "S" turns it into a kitty.

PS Feel free to drop some reviews my way on either of the sequels to Lion, Eagle, Badger, Snake!

Author's Response: Oh, you'll be surprised what we Slytherins can manage. . . ;)

Why does everyone want to jump off the roof? (I do, too)

Ah, I'll fix the puss to pus soon. Thanks again for the review! (and I'll be sure to review)

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #44, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: A Friend in Need

18th March 2012:
Ugh. Girl fights. So unnecessarily complicated! Good Luck Hugo trying to intervene in this one - not sure what his chances are of escaping with a full set of functioning limbs.

Author's Response: Yes, Hugo and his good intentions. He has absolutely no idea what he's letting himself in for. And yes, very complicated. I'm afraid this one isn't quite over yet!

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #45, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: Battle of the Malfoys

11th March 2012:
Aaargghhh... cliffhanger. You evil person.

I have the feeling that Mr Warrington is rather stirring the pot somewhat - and that Harri is going to find a way to talk to Adira.

Author's Response: I'm sorry for the cliffhanger. All shall be revealed soon, don't worry... I hope you can you wait just a few more days!

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #46, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: Potions

11th March 2012:
NEVER better to be a Hufflepuff if they're like Stebbins junior...

Poor little Flynn Avery - he really does need a massive hug. You've dealt him a horrible set of cards for an 11-year-old to try and play with, and I get the feeling it's going to take a great deal of support and Slytherin spirit if he's going to get through these seven years and emerge as anything other than psychotic and hate-filled.

I noticed one grammar error in the summary (and by extension in the piece itself) - it ought to be YOUR traits, not you're. I'm sure you knew that!

Author's Response: In my world, Slytherins are good and Hufflepuffs are evil. So, yeah, breaking stereotypes all around . . . :)

Yeah. In the next few chapters Flynn makes a tiny disappearance, but he'll come back (he definitely has an amazing role . .. especially at the end)

I'll go check out the grammar error, but I really think you'll like how the story starts to develop. Al and Piper start to develop as characters . . . both good and bad, and one of my FAVORITE characters is introduced. :) I'm glad you like it . . . and I can't believe I made that dumb of a grammar mistake. :P

Keep reading, and your reviews are amazing! :) (I love seeing them: they're helpful and thoughtful- and it seems that now one of my favorite parts about posting a chapter is waiting for your review)

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #47, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: Drama

8th March 2012:
You've not shirked the full-on darkness have you? I see what you meant by the warnings being there for a reason, this isn't light reading. Nonetheless it's believable, though, and you're painting a harrowing dystopia for the Slytherin children. Poor first-years. Poor Nick. Poor Al. Poor Piper.

I like Professor Zabini - sardonic and cynical humour is right up my street (and is my standard mode of addressing the kids I work with anyway). Only one query - coming from a bit of English medieval history, do you want Anslem or AnsELM?

I only ask as St Anselm is a moderately famous English saint, and there are a handful of churches/schools named for him. This fits with Rowling's typical etymology... whereas I can't get the same image for Anslem. I am not sure how many people think like that, but it's the little details that really help make a story for me - such as the fact that I actually went to Harlech Castle to get that part of my story right!

Author's Response: Thank you so much (again) for an amazing review. (still in semi-shock :D)

As for the darkness: most of the stuff I write is actually extremely dark. (one of my one-shots actually mostly consists of James being tortured) I think it helps sets the scene; if the Death Eaters are in Azkaban . . . what happened to their kids?

Yeah; Slytherin isn't a happy place, but they still joke around. It shows that they're strong enough to get past it.

Isn't Professor Zabini the coolest? Seriously, he's so sarcastic. If you like him . .. you might like another character- his name is Owen, and he is one of the few who can beat Nick at her own games.

I had never thought of Anslem vs Anselm. I think I"m going to change it, because what you said is just so unbelievably cool and J.K.esque.

You actually went to a *castle* for your story? That's wicked.

Thank you so much for the amazing review. (and something to think about :D).

Ellie


 Report Review

Review #48, by SheriffA Sorted Affair: Chapter Three: Albus

5th March 2012:
Hey there,

Good read! The dialogue is some of the best I've read, particularly in the first chapter on the train and Albus' internal monologues where he pulls himself apart. I hope you maintain the atmosphere you've built up here and the next stages of Al's journey aren't too rushed - it feels like you've all the ingredients to play the long game.

Looking forward to see what you do with the Slytherin reputation and the rest of the year,

Sheriff

 Report Review

Review #49, by SheriffMemories of Hogwarts: Truth, Lies and Christmas Spirit

4th March 2012:
It's alright, it snowed today in Oxford so things don't feel totally unlike Christmas! You've got the eleven-year-old girl spitefulness down pat nicely here too... and the week-long sulk that follows every argument. Ugh...

Author's Response: Ahh, no snow here unfortunately, but I'm glad it wasn't too unseasonal! Yes, eleven year old girls are particularly eloquent in their arguments... As ever, thanks for reviewing!

Alex :D


 Report Review

Review #50, by SheriffRemember the Slytherins: Prologue: The Week of Tears

3rd March 2012:
I love it - and not just because you've name-checked my own story!

I hesitate to say I *like* the atmosphere of hatred, loathing and fear that you reference in the descriptions, because that makes me sound like some kind of psychopathic sadist who feeds on the miseries of children, when that's only half true, but the level of darkness seems to seep out of the narrative and into your mind as you read it. Looking forward to seeing where you take it next!

Slytherins Stick Together!

Author's Response: Whoah . . . this is a huge honor. I absolutely LOVE your story, (and ironically right after I started writing this I found it). So I'm kind of very shocked right now, so I apologize if I make absolutely no sense.

Yeah: I kind of hate how Slytherins are always antagonists (being one myself). Also, I really do think the tables have turned with the Next Gen.-> probably almost no one would *want* to be there after hearing about the war.

I posted the next chapter-> it'll be WAY longer. (and I have up to about 9 done, so updates = fast :))

Thank you so much for the review. Again, I'm really honored. :)

Slytherins for the win!
Ellie


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>