Pretty good but did you even read the sixth book? you seem to have missed a couple importent plot elements, liek the fact that dumbledor died (or pertended 2)Author's Response: uhh yeah i read the 6th book, but i dont want to create spoilers for people who didn't read the book which you kinda just did...so if your going to review for a story dont critize Report Review
I really like it. You going to ad more chapters? if you aren't then a little revision to the ending would be in order it just doesn’t seem conclusive.Author's Response: I may add some morechapters, if I can come up with more tricks >:o) Report Review
Pretty good. I have a little constructive critisism for you.
You could try toneing it down a bi,; less yelling, less swearing. Also you should proof read a coulp times carfully to remove things like this:
"I have to kill you now AVADA KEDAV-”
As Malfoy was about to finish off Ginny a voice rang out 'Petrificus Totalus!'"
Petrificus totalus takes the same amount or more time to say than avada kadavra. Malfoy would have finished his spell and Ginny would be deadwriten like this. Here's an example of an alternitive:
“Petrificus Totalus!" there voices clashed like swords for a moment but Ginny finished first causing Malfoy to fall backward stiff as a log, spell unfinished.
See what I meen?
All in all you have a great story going here, keep it up!Author's Response: Thanks for the help, I'll keep that in mind as I'm writing. Report Review
I enjoyed what there was of this very much. My only problem with it is that Gwendolyn is going to secondary school I'm pretty sure that the NEWTs are the same as muggle secondary school. A very small flaw that doesn't even slightly diminish the experience of reading your fanfic. Bravo!Author's Response: Thank you. What I was thinking about the whole secondary school thing, was that after you took your NEWTs, would you qualify for a important potions job, like say a Hogwarts professor or a Ministry official? Anyway, thanks alot, your review made me smile:) Report Review
I like it. It has a lot of potential. I may be able to help you with the banner. Can you PM on this site?Author's Response: Thnx that u may be able to help, but i have no idea wut PM is or if i can do it. srry Report Review
This is an amazing story!
Judgeung by the begining there going to break up :(. They have to get back together in the end it just wouldn't be fair! lol. Update soon!Author's Response: It would be sad wouldn't it? I'll update soon Report Review
This is a great story!! update soon!! I must say though, what happend to ginney she's so... evil! I'm puzzled buy the fact that you made her the enimy there are so many other options! I guess its to late now, and she does make a great villen! But I'm worning you now if Harry and Serena don't get together again at the end then I would be VERY, VERY SAD!Author's Response: Yeah, about Ginny. I always thought that she would make a great villain. Yes, there are the obvious, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, but why not somebody you wouldn't always expect?
Serena and Harry, I can't say anything there....... Report Review
I loved the story esspetially how you weaved yoga and meditation into the Harry Potter world so smoothly.
Like your last chapter title says, Don't Stop! Report Review
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