Reading Reviews From Member: CharlieDay
  
60 Reviews Found

Review #26, by CharlieDayThe Not-So-Golden Trio: Minnie, Lisa and Terry's Period Pains

23rd October 2011:
"We all have to get it sometime, Terry" ROFL!!
This is so hilarious, I am not joking. I love this. This is my new favourite story. *DROOLS* It's like, um, like a really big bar of chocolate. It flows, it's grammatically awesome, it's believable. Seriously, Terry reminds me of one of my male friends so much. He is so much like a real guy. Ooh, it's brilliant.

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Review #27, by CharlieDayPatchwork: Pivotal

17th September 2011:
Bonjour, or hello. I AM FINALLY REVIEWING YOU!! we should have a party, right? I can't believe this has ended *tear* why must stories end? We definitely need to see a sequel. Definitely. Do you hear that, world? Definitely.
I saw a couple of grammar mistakes, bit nothing that a quick read through won't fix [ Read; I saw a couple of grammar mistakes, but forgot them by the pure AWESOME end] this is seriously one of the best stories on the archives, and I'll be soo sad to see it go. Seriously, though, dude. Do a sequel.
Charlie
Xx
Ps. Loved the chavvy a/n. Dat iz best. Right, cuz we chavs, we iz da awesome.

Author's Response: Grammar is my all time weakness. I'm going have to edit this eventually. *sighs*

Anyway, HOLA! Aww, thank you for such a compliment, I'm smiling goofily as I type this now.

I have to do a sequel, Arisa needs to be written, she wont let me have peace.

I wasn't even trying to be chavvy, it just happened. I like to think that I speak with received pronunciation.

Anyway, Thank you for lovely review and hopefully you will like the sequel.

♥ ♥


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Review #28, by CharlieDayFade to Grey: One

16th September 2011:
Hi! It's me here, for the swapping of reviews! I chose this story because i love the title. I don't know if you meant it this way, but it's an interesting play on the idea of house colours, fading away in a togethery way.
I'm not so sure about the summary, though. It would be nice to make it a bit more mysterious, and help it hook the reader in.
This is absoloutly beautifly written, though. It conjures up such a picture, i just.. Ohh, any way, I love :D
Also, can I just praise you for the way you've written the dialogue? It sounds realistic to the time period, but still not silly.
The plotline's awesome too! The way you've written Helena and her mother has such a dynamic, it's not just chucked in there, and it's really believable!
I do love this story, and i shall review the other chapters soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for the summary advice, I'll have a look at it :) Thank you so much for the awesome review :D

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Review #29, by CharlieDayStalking Cho: Obsessive Love

16th September 2011:
I am reviewing you, simply because this story looked awesome. The summary is really very good. It makes you seriously want to read the story. This review is probably pretty badly articulated, but that's because i actually adored the story
I like the way it's told in those sort of mini paragraph thingies, and then with the way the story is told in sort of normal.
I was so sad at the bit Cedric asked her. >< Silly Cho. She was destined to be with Terry. (You have converted me. I am now a Terry/Cho shipper.)
It was a wee bit short, i would've liked it to be longer, but it sort of suits being short. I don't know which way i'd like it better o.0
Anyways, I also thought it was awesome that you did a fic that even vaguely mentions Cho. Most people are like 'Aw, Cho's evil. I'll just ignore her', but you did a Cho-centric fic. So i love you.

Author's Response: Heya! :)

Awww, thanks so much! I always feel like I have enough reviews compared other stories, which is why I've stopped requesting reviews. However, surprise reviews like yours make my day, so thank you!

I'm glad the story looked awesome :L and the summary is good? Thanks! The plot kind of came up with a challenge I did. I'm actually surprised how many people like this, I was really unsure of it! Terry/Cho is a bit of a weird pairing, but I'm glad you like it!

Thank you so much for the absolutely lovely review!
Charlotte :)


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Review #30, by CharlieDayInnocence: In which the circle is broken

6th August 2011:
Ooh, i l-o-v-e the summary, so exciting! It really draws the reader in, and that's what summaries are for right? It's so cool how it's sort of mirrored and extended upon at the start of the chapter. I totally love that.
At the start, Lily seems to have quite a low opinion of herself; are you planning to let this affect the story? I think that could be a pretty powerful tool to play with. On the other hand, i'm wondering how a Potter (Actually, not only a Potter but the youngest and only femal Pottter) came to have such a low opinion of herself. I imagine in life she would always get a whole pile of praise etc.
I am also admiring of the fact that you didn't make her in love with Scorp. Or atleast it doesn't seem like it. In most stories the parents (or sometimes the father) are hopelessly in love. So this is a bit of a cliche beater.
Charlie
xx
CharlieDay, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thank you for the review... Yeah, I wanted to try and stray as far away as possible from chiche in a pregnancy story... Lily's self esteem should be explained in the next few chapters, but it will be quite a big part of the story. I wanted to make Lily and Rose quite close, so L and Scorpius definately AREN'T in love!

Fingers crossed that this will stay as UNcliche-d as possible!

Ada xx
(BB4L on the forums)


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Review #31, by CharlieDayWhirlwind: This Can't Be Happening

4th August 2011:
And again with all the fan-girling.
Remus is really well characterised. He seems like he could turn into JK's Lupin. Some authors make him exactly the same, but you make him a character that could develop into Lupin, but is at the same time your own character.
On the other hand, i don't really understand why Madame Pomfrey didn't make sure no-one could hear what they were saying, i would imagine confidentiality is pretty high on the list in a position like that. Although, there are many reasons why this wouldn't matter. She could've thought Remus was asleep, or just completely forgot about him.
I also love-love-love the ending sentance. It just leaves open a world of possibilities, so to speak.
I really do adore this story.
Charlie
xx
CharlieDay, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Did I leave that part out? Remus is supposed to say "She probably thought I was still sleeping, or she wouldn't have told you here." Oops, that was a pretty big thing to go missing! As with his characterization, I actually took more from Snape's Worst Memory in terms of how he acted and joked about his furry little problem than how he was as an adult. As a seventh year, I figured he'd be a bit more serious, but I didn't want him to lose the Marauding in him before, well, all of the really bad stuff in his life started happening. As with the last sentence, that world of possibilities? Yeah, you'll probably see them all... Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #32, by CharlieDayWhirlwind: Oh Merlin No

4th August 2011:
Ooh the suspense! I love this story, as i've said in every review so far, and am probably going to say in every review till the very last chapter of your story. I love.
I love how James' guard is slowly slipping down, you know, arrogant toe-rag slowly becomes less of an arrogant toerag. And the interaction, it has so much chemistry *clap clap clappity clap*.
The only thing in this chapter that i even have a minor 'I wonder' about is why Madame Pomfrey made her wait till the morning. Although, there's some creative license here, because it adds to the suspense of Lily's character.
Charlie
xx
CharlieDay, ravenclaw

Author's Response: Yeah, it was just creative license and suspense on my part. I didn't know she was going to go talk to James though, when I started writing; she just did that herself. I know it makes more sense for Pomfrey to tell her right away, but it's all part of the story. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #33, by CharlieDayWhirlwind: Ugh, Was It Something I Ate?

4th August 2011:
Hey *waves* I have been a totally inconsistant reviewer and i just wanted to let you know, i still absoloutly LOVE the story. It is totally worthy of publishing.
First thing i noticed that was not amazingsauce was the word 'tossed'. I don't know, it just didn't seem very English. I've never heard anyone say it, maybe it's just the are that i'm from, but still, not very brit.
The part about the chocolate frogs made me laugh. I may or may not have ever done anything simila *cough i totally have cough*
My only other thing i have to say is that you mentioned a fifth year in Lily's dormitary, but Lily's a seventh year right? I don't think they went inter-year with the dormitaries.
Overall, i love love love this story.
Charlie
xx
CharlieDay, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: The part about the fifth year? I was like "I totally don't remember that..." so I went and found it; that was just funny wording on my part. I was talking about Elizabeth, the last girl in the dormitory. (Who, by the way, will play a key role later.) I'm really glad you love it, because I do, too. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #34, by CharlieDayWhirlwind: Say That Again

17th July 2011:
Hello. I am back. And within the same day! Yay! I just couldn't keep away from your story. Like I said in my last review, your writing is got to go up there with the best. Your writing style is amazing, like a published author's!
I liked it when lily said about being half way through their group, it made me laugh, but I wonder; Is Sirius sorry about James and lily? Or was it just a drunken moment in their fifth year? I also loved the thing about P. Petigrew and the broom cupboard.
There was one thing that I didn't get, but it's a pretty tiny thing. At the start, Sirius refers to James as 'prongs' in front of Lily, and then half way through, when sirius Is talking about James, he starts of saying 'prongs', then catches himself and changes it to James. Then, nearer the end, Lily calls James prongs, so why did Sirius catch himself?
Is Severus going to feature in this story, I just wondered, seeing as he was in love with Lily.
I'm gonna say again, I totally love this story.
Charlie
Xx

Author's Response: No joke, that made me super pleased. I'm trying to make the situation a little light-hearted without being insensitive to it, so I'm so glad the jokes worked. Ah, the Sirius conundrum; I'll answer your direct question, but there's a lot to be uncovered about that. No, he's not sorry, it really was just a mistake in fifth year that miraculously bloomed into a friendship. As for the Prongs thing, Sirius is fairly close to Lily but he hasn't outright told her the Marauder secrets; he's so comfortable around her that he doesn't always notice and when he does, he tries to fix it. Lily's always trying to get him to admit it, which I do get back to after the big secret is revealed, so if she uses the nicknames, she's just trying to trip them up. But thanks for asking! I'm glad someone caught something that wasn't consistent or explained. Yep, Severus has got a small part to play, although we've got the holiday season between us and that. I'm really excited you love it, because I totally love it too. Thanks so much for reviewing.

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Review #35, by CharlieDayWhirlwind: A Celebration to Hardly Remember

8th June 2011:
I am going to prewarn you; this review, well, it may not be all that great. It's just about the whole my-computer-kills-every-review-i-write-these-days thing. So, anywho, on whith the review.
I think you wrote her getting drunk very well, it seemed to be more of a process, instead of her immediately getting stoned, like what seems to happen in a lot of stories.
I think the romantic part between her and James is believable, and i've always thought that Lily was secretly in love with James; and just too stubborn to say so, which you seem to have said here.
I only have one issue with this chapter, and it's Mary, if her father was an alcoholic, then wouldn't she try and warn her friend off the firewhiskey? I don't know, just a thought.
Charlie
xx

Author's Response: Ooh, I never thought of that! Haha, that was something I abruptly decided as I wrote it, and didn't consider the possibilites and implications of. I will attempt to smooth out that wrinkle in later chapters.

I'm glad it came off well. No one is immediately drunk, and so I thought if it went gradually, it may be more believable.

Yes, secret feelings did come through! I'm going to build on those for a few chapters, and then the fun, emotional crap will hit the fan!

Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate it.


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Review #36, by CharlieDayWoops!: Life outside Hogwarts

8th May 2011:
I am going to do a horrible thing now. Please forgive me. I wouldn't, but I'm a grumpy-guts so i don't forgive anyone.
Update! Please! There. Now i've done it, and i can get on with the proper review.
I love this story. Truth be told, I've been reading it for ages. I think it is very original and realistic. There. That was a short review. I apologise sincerly.
Charlie
X-etty XX

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Review #37, by CharlieDayThe Other Secret: Chapter Two

8th April 2011:
Hello, i have started stalking my favorites again, so i believe i've been pretty quick. This will probably consist of more fan-girl drivle (Is that how you spell it, i honestly have no idea.) So feel free to run away screaming.
The rugby was pretty good, from my veiw of it, i mentioned in my last review that i used to watch rugby, i don't think i mentioned that i was only there for the violence, the hammering of other schools and the cake, so for what i know of the rules it was pretty good!
I have fallen in love with Vernon, oh dear. It's like when you fall in love with Sirius or Tom Riddle or Scorpius or some other person like that, booky sort of love. Especially as he's Vernon, Duddikins vernon. Oh dear.
It was a dementor AAH! I have no idea what a bobcat is, and i don't think i spotted the blog, but am i right in assuming that it is some sort of Wild Feline, slightly larger than a normal cat? *hops over to Wikipedia*
Tot Ziens- Charlie
xx

Author's Response: hehe yesh it is! :D I will be writing a blog today i wanted to wait for the chapter to be out to write the blog first so i didnt give away a secret!! :D hehe YES a dementor!!! *hangs head in shame* I cant give those two a happy life now can i?! :D LOL
OMG i know your feeling on Vernon because he is slightly OOC in my story as too the fact that he is young here and the epilogue is planning to explain the change! :D Im glad you enjoyed the chapter im hopping over the blogging now! :D


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Review #38, by CharlieDayOut of the Blue: Golden Trio

8th April 2011:
Firsties First: *Claps* Your character cries, she is a normal human being, in a wizardy way. You are basicly sitting there avoiding all those annoying little rocks people get caught on. Yay! She is so diverse, i mean it, in chapter 1 (prologue) She seemed cool, and very mature and you have kept that going, yet made her underlying desire to be immature and have fun clear.
Ok, so another pointer, in the UK 'Internalize' is spelt 'Internalise', nice use of the word though.
I keep saying how much i love you don't i, Hermione kept her bushy hair! Hooray! Yay! *runs around room and does celebratory dance.*
Clappy clappy! Short chapter again, but still, i love it!
Charlie
X (for extra awesomeness.)

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Review #39, by CharlieDayOut of the Blue: Muggle-born

8th April 2011:
Ok so firsties-first again. I would personally trade the words 'gossip' for 'news', gossip is quite a femenine word and i personally wouldn't use it in the context of Ron. That really is personal preferance though, so feel free to ignore me. Nexties: OOH I love you, really i love you so much! Hermione noticed the fact that they hadn't ever had a transfer student! I have hardly ever seen that done before! yay!
Agh, the nickname 'Mione' Don't like that much, they never used it in the books and i don't find it very flattering, but there is my personal preferance sneaking in again.
Twins characterisation= Pure and utter awesomeness, i think you have done well, they really sound like JKR's Fred&George.
You put transfer from 'and american school' you probably meant 'an american school, just a pointer.
Slytherin. You put her in Slytherin. I love you more every second, i was groaning inside thinking 'American exchange student? She is sooo going to be in Gryffindor.' But you made my day! Of course if you had put her in Ravenclaw you would've made my week, but still Awesome! I mean it!
When you have draco saying 'and your Morgan' it is correct to put 'and you're morgan'. Another mini grammatical pointer, but your doing pretty good so far, as normally i'm a ninja in spotting that kinda thing.
Aah, flabbergasted. Your American, i think (let's hope so or i'll be pretty embarressed) And you used a brittishism, correctly, did i mention that i love you?
I love the ending, cliffies galore! Lucky i can go on and read the next chapter.
Charlie
xx

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Review #40, by CharlieDayOut of the Blue: Prologue

8th April 2011:
Ok so firsties first- Lupin would've left by the 'trio's' Fourth year, as he was shamed by the fact that it was discovered that he was werewolf, Moody (Barty crouch jnr. Infact) was DADA Proffesor during that year. Next a question, did she go to an American wizarding school or a Muggle school? This was a short chapter, but all in all an enjoyable read.
Charlie
xx

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Review #41, by CharlieDayThe Other Secret: Chapter One

29th March 2011:
Yay! New chapter! I don't seem to stalk my favorites list as much as i used to, so i didn't notice this was up until you told me. I am exited! I think you did well in how you made them meet, but short, short, short chapter! I was surprised...
Does Vernon live on his own? (sorry curious-face has to know everything). Rugby! Yay! I like rugby! I can't play it, but when i was younger my school used to have inter-school games and i used to watch... I loved the car idea!
Sorry this isn't a proper review, more of a rant about nothing.
Charlie
xx

Author's Response: hehe no this review was lovely! :) LOL meh it was a little over 1000 words the rest hit more near 2000 and 3000 words :) but thats the longest so far! :D im glad you liked how they met it was a long shot with the whole car thing so i was REALLY hoping it would be alright! :) Im glad you like this chapter the next one is pretty grand and there is not to much rugby because i failed at writing it! XP lol hehe thanks for the lovely review im glad your like my uhm unusual story! :D

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Review #42, by CharlieDayMa Grand Amour: Alice

20th March 2011:
I would firstly like to say that i love your stories, they are amazing! I notices only one or two bad things in this story and they were both basicly flow/grammar. The first is that the first few sentances didn't flow very well, such as 'I am part veela so everyone thinks that that means that I am some beautiful creature that anyone that stands next to me would look ugly' could be 'I am part veela, so everyone thinks i am aome beautiful creature, they think that everyone that stands next to me would look ugly.' Just my little input, also the bit where you described her hot-pink swimmers, you went into just a little bit to much detail. I think that the plot was very well written and believable 8/10
Charlie
xxx

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Review #43, by CharlieDayThe Other Secret: Prologue

9th March 2011:
This is so exciting!!! Vernulas is amazing (you know whats just as great though) The plot is really exciting, and i think this is a good reason for Vernon to hate wizards though, as he was a seemingly strong character and i doubt he would hate them as much as he did just on the word of his wife. I liked the idea that Vernon is going to be telling the story to Sirius (I assume that is what's happening) And i liked the starting sentance, 'can a century of a family's hate become love for a single man.'
Also i liked the 'well...' at the end since it sets a good premise for the next chapters. The only thing that i have weeny doubts about is the meeting of Sirius and Vernon, but my mind can even find an exuse for that. It involves the wiping of their minds after by the ministry because of Sirius' "murder"
10/10
Charlie
I was acknowledged!!! Thank you!!!

Author's Response: hehe :) thank you for the lovely review hun! :) Im glad you liked it so far!! ^_^ there is still yet to come very much more exciting stuff!!! tehehe and of course you were acknowledged without you possative remarks that day idk if i would have done it!! :)

XxJess


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Review #44, by CharlieDayMalfoy Men: --

5th March 2011:
Very Sweet Story!! I felt so sorry for Draco, losing his kitten. I love cats, so that probably helped increase my liking for this story. The plot was very good, It was an obvious flash back and had been placed in for a good reason. The only plot hole i noticed was the fact that i didn't quite understand the sudden conversion of Scorpius to being a cat person.
Overall the grammar was very good. There were some issues that i noticed, such as the line 'I laid talking to my new best friend.' That line should have been 'I lay talking to my new best friend.'
Thank you for entering my challenge!! 9/10, which is a very good score coming from me.
Charlie
xx

Author's Response: Aw thank you hun! :) Ill let you know when i have a banner up i plan to put the two kittens on it! :) Ill have to go through and touch up those grammar erros (stupid spell check) lol Im a huge cat person too, and i thought hey maybe when draco was a kid he wouldnt have been so against them.

With scorpius i tried to make it seem like he was warming up to the kitten because of how cute it was slowly through the whole story and at the ending when he realized how much a cat meant to his dad he might have wanted to be just like his dad because he was only 8 at the time and at that age your parents are often times your hero's! Sorry i didnt get that point across enough if i ever have time i might try to convey that more with some of Draco's thoughts watching him at the end! :) Thanks for the lovely review!!!

XXJess


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Review #45, by CharlieDayThe Unquiet Dead: Chapter One - It begins

28th February 2011:
Hello Legend/Merlin You know who i am Mwahahaha!
Punctuation:
I was confused by the bold, also you forgot to capitalise some of the names.
Plot:
Quite short, but promising, i like the idea that something has got to happen to Harry Potter's son when he gets to hogwarts *gets eaten by Major Plot bunny*
Anywho, teeny weeny review for you there!
Charlie
xx

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Review #46, by CharlieDayA Beautiful Injustice: A Beautiful Injustice

27th February 2011:
Hello, it is me, Charlie here to review your challenge story.
Plot:
It was a good plot, in my opinion. It did not just show Sirius' feelings for Kristi but also what was going on in the world around him. I think this is a good thing because it gives you a more rounded veiw of the Mauraders' life at that time. I also think that it was a good explaination of why Sirius never really had a serious romance as far as the Published world of Harry Potter streches. I was a little confused about the time and what was going on but other than that the plot was very good so i will give you a 4/5 on plot.
Punctuation, grammar typos etc.:
This was also all in all very good, there are a few sentances that could have been done better for example the sentance 'was i not good enough' may have been easier to read if you put it as 'wasn't i good enough'. The flow and sentance structure was very good though so for Grammar, punctuation typos etc. I will give you 3/5.
That totals up to 7/10 which is a very good score (because i am mean and hardly ever give 10/10s)
thank you for entering my challenge,
Charlie.

Author's Response: hey thank you for the review! I really had a lot of fun writing this for your challenge and now i just have to wait a while before i can find out if i did it well enough to place in your challenge. Even if i didnt place i'm really excited to have something posted and to have given a oneshot a chance. The idea came for it right after you gave me my person and important moment and it just evolved from there. I'm really glad you liked it and that you liked that i didnt just focus on Sirius and Kristi.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Cant wait to see how the rest of your challenge goes!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #47, by CharlieDayLeaping Obstacles: Falling

20th January 2011:
Hello, its Charlie here, come to review your story
I do my reviews in three parts. Plot, Punctuation and General notes. I will say one thing good and one thing bad i plot and punctuation although, sometimes i can't find anything to criticise xD
Plot-
Brilliant, you manage to make it funny but at the same time intrigueing (gosh is that how you spell it i can't remember). But, it does not really draw you into the next chapter.
Punctuatiom-Pretty much perfect, your flow was good and i didn't notice any spelling mistakes or typos. Only one thing, 'Bangs' not really a british thing to say but i don't really mind (for future referance in case you don't already know, we say Frindge)
General notes-
Wow, reading back on that i feel harsh. I don't mean to be i just comment on what i pick up. I loved your story though it was odd seeing the start of GoF from a differant POV but i liked it.
CharlieDay

Author's Response: Curse my American-ness! XD Yep, I've gotten a fw people to comment on the 'bangs' thing, and I fully intend to change it to 'fringe' sometime in the future.

Once I stop having such a long line of things to put into queue, this story's going under major edits!

Thank you for your very helpful review! =)


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Review #48, by CharlieDayNocturne: Chapter Three

20th January 2011:
Its me again!
Plot-
Firstly, im still not a fan of the way you portrayed Ron i just don't think he would act like that. I am fascinated by malfoy and i think the idea about ancient spells is good.
Punctuation-
I noticed a few typos. Same sort of thing as the first chapter missed out spaces and you also always put 'defensive against the dark arts' rather than 'defence against the dark arts' this is probably because of the programme you use (mine does that). The flow is still very good.
General Notes-
Over all very well written, the typos were getting on my nerves a bit though.

Author's Response: HI!

Thanks for your last review!

Ha, I'm glad that you liked Draco...I like him best, as you probably noticed..:)

Oh, and I'll make sure to correct those nasty typos:)


Miriel


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Review #49, by CharlieDayNocturne: Chapter Two

20th January 2011:
It's Charlie again xD
Plot-
Ok, this time youve got me hooked i really want to read onto the next chapter but i gotta review ;). It's Obvious that you don't like ron but he is seeming to me to be becoming the villain, and this is annoying me a bit because some of the things he says ron would never say.
Punctuation-
All round too good for me to critisise. Yes, i knowi said i would say one thing good and one thing bad but ive read over this story twice and didn't notice any typos. So well done, you've ruined my mantra in a good way :D
General Notes-
I am really getting into this story. It's not the kind of thing i would read in the normal way but im really enjoying it.

Author's Response: Me again:)

Okay, I can understand that you don't like my characterization of Ron...But I needed to make him the villain, otherwise the story wouldn't work...

Yay, no typos:D

It's great that you enjoy the story, although you don't read that kind of stories usually:)


Miriel


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Review #50, by CharlieDayNocturne: Chapter One

20th January 2011:
Hello, its Charlie Here to review your story. I am going to be reviewing Plot, Punctuation and General stuff. I will say one good and bad for Plot and punctuation and just general notes at the end.
Plot-
Generally good, I was Glad you didn't make malfoy headboy as it would have been quite cliched. But (and i am probably guilty of this too) It didn't hook me to want to read the next chapter.
Punctuation-There were quite a few Typos, on the first line you forgot the space between Burrow and Gradually and there are a few minor sense-making errors. The flow is good and you don't rush the sentances (another sin of mine).
I liked this story lots
CharlieDay

Author's Response: Heyho! I'm very sorry for answering so late...But here I am:)

I'm planning to edit this story, because I really need to rease those typos and minor spelling errors...Thanks for pointing it out to me, I tend to procrastinate such things:)

I'm glad that you like the flow of the story and the plot in general:)

Miriel


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