Reading Reviews From Member: Analesh7
  
66 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Analesh7One Thing: You make my heart race

1st August 2012:
This was so great! And as a directioner I thought you used the song very well here!

Here are my fave lines from your story:

"The ridiculous way she sweeps her hair over one shoulder when she’s concentrating, and the absurd way her emerald eyes flare up when she glares, and the positively mad way her hair actually looks like it’s on fire when she’s standing directly in front of the sun."

"Go on a date, I silently tacked on at the end. Then get married. And have kids! Yes, lots of them. Actually, why don’t we get started right away? Maybe head up to my dorm? This classroom looks a bit dusty. But unless you want to – it’s fine with me!"

"(Sirius always smirks.)
(His smirks are always haughty.)
(He thinks it makes him look handsome, but we all know it makes him look like a constipated badger.)"

"But I’ll be damned if I ever let Evans get away from me.
(Plus my mum would kill me.)"

AND lastly this one>> "Lily Evans has been taking up so much of my mind lately. With everything she does, everything she says and just everything about her." and it remind me of another 1D song, Everything about You

I loved the humor, especially James :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
I'm glad you thought that the story fit in well with the song :)
Hehehe I love getting favourite quotes, so thanks!
So overall, I'm so glad you liked that you liked the fic because I was worried I had the format of a song fic all wrong. And because you mentioned you're a directioner, just thought I'd let all of you out there know that I'm also planning to write a song fic on What Makes You Beautiful :)
Thank you so much for the review, you've made my day!
xx


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Review #2, by Analesh7Heaven Can Wait: Alpha Dogs

29th July 2012:
So I'm totally adding this to my faves because I just can't wait for an update! ( I hope its very soon) My fave part of this chapter has to be transfiguration Q & A show off. I love how James does whatever to challenge Lily, its really enjoyable. I really liked Mary's P.O.V You really have created a defined voice from James and Lily.

I would actually love to read a chapter with Sirius narrating. Imagine all his outrageous thoughts! Maybe we'll see that in the future?

Author's Response: Hey Analesh! I can't thank you enough for all the lovely reviews you have left for my story. I'm incredibly glad that someone you loves James and Lily as much as you has appreciated the characters in my story and has become attached to it. And the fact that the back story via flashbacks of Lily and Severus's friendship was a heartwarming piece for you really makes me feel very happy!Thank you so much :)!
I'm so happy you enjoyed the humour and found it entertaining and that the characters kept you reading more and that you felt their interactions were good enough. I know Sirius is a much anticipated narration. He will get to narrate but he has to wait his turn ;P

Thank you again very much for all the lovely compliments and the parts you enjoyed the most! I hope you will enjoy future chapters of the story as much :) :)
~Cali


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Review #3, by Analesh7Heaven Can Wait: The Welcoming

29th July 2012:
LOL I loved the prank! and the ending jily moment "you smell amazing"

another line i liked(s): Why, you ask? Well, because where people have supportive friends, I’ve got three idiots, who have somehow convinced me that this is just unspoken attraction on her part. In other words: we’ve got passion!

Lily: “Potter, I wish you were a codfish so I could throw you in the lake and know that the Giant Squid would have digested you by morning!”

The three idiots: “She wants you, man!”

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Review #4, by Analesh7Heaven Can Wait: Corridor Affairs

29th July 2012:
Okay, so this going to be very short because I want to go to the next chapter. I'm loving the Jily moments! I'm loving the humor and i'm loving where the story is going. I love Sirius so much and it was great how you included Lily's friends in this chapter and made them stand out in their own way.

GREAT JOB :)

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Review #5, by Analesh7Heaven Can Wait: Forgive and Forget

29th July 2012:
GAH!! Another great chapter! the whole thing with Lily's dream was priceless! i was scrolling like mad thinking omg they're together and then BAM! its a dream. And you made it even better by having Dursley appear.

This also made me laugh:“Well well, if it isn’t Little Red!” smirked Black, “Where’s the picnic basket?” The same joke for nearly four years. I gave him a look, “Your mother ate it!”

along with the scene where lily and James are walking down the street and everyone is staring.

I think you did an amazing job with that dueling scene! It was so interesting and adrenaline raising!

I really like how this is moving. Its the perfect pace. You aren't skimming through things are prolonging things.

Heading off to the next chapter now.

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Review #6, by Analesh7Heaven Can Wait: Reflections

29th July 2012:
I loved this chapter! In some parts i was smiling and laughing like when sirius said this:
“Oh great! Here comes the wet blanket!” Sirius said without even turning to look at me."
AND ALSO>> “You should put your mouse back in the box at least,” I commented. “What!?” James sat up so fast his mouse scurried over to my table in fright. He looked down at his pants and double-checked his zipper at which point I realised he’d taken the wrong meaning of my words but decided the expression on his face was worth not correcting him. I laughed hysterically as his face turned bright red." OMG IT THAT HAD TO BE THE BEST PART.

I think you did a great job especially here with Lily's persona. All the flashbacks showing her friendship with Snap was really heartwarming to me. I could really tell they had a genuine friendship that was unfairly ended. What I truly liked the most from this chapter was the ending. When Lily started feeling guilty about what she told James. I thought it was unfair of her to say that to him because he was really looking forward to a relationship with her that didn't involve all that teasing and dislike.

I also liked the little interaction between Lils and James like with the quidditch match and he made an impressive goal and when their eyes met and they shared their secret smiles! I l live for those moments!

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Review #7, by Analesh7Heaven Can Wait: Turning Point

29th July 2012:
So I have a major problem with this story. WHY HAVEN'T I READ IT YET! It's so good! I going to make this kinda short because I want to keep reading.

Characterization: I think you did a good job with James. I can see that joking side of him and yet that caring one. What I really liked that you did was that you didnt have James already like Lily. He just liked to bother and from what he did to Snape and seeing her so upset about it, is what drove him to develop those feelings. I think that was believable. I was so glad when James and Lily had that civilized studying session. I was like yes! James and lily for the win! But you made Lily even more believable by having her tell James at the end that last night events didn't make them friends. I would've liked them to just hook up already lol but I'm glad that happened. I think this is the part where James begins to reflect about himself.

Plot: I definitely see a conflict developing between James and lily and James with himself. He has to leave his child is and trouble making antics aside if he surely wants to be friends with her.

Details: BEAUTIFUL!

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Review #8, by Analesh7Rule Breaker: Just a Saturday Afternoon

29th July 2012:
Draco is definitely up to something and it's surely driving the plot forward. I'm really liking this story so I can't find any flaws :/ it's perfect so far even though Draco is driving me crazy. I'm so glad that Harry and Ron gave the Slytherins a chance. I thought Ron would say no because he is so stubborn. Btw! I'm rooting for Ron/Mandy, just saying ;)

Author's Response: Hey again! I'm so glad you like the story so much. I'm sorry that Draco is driving you crazy, but he's supposed to for now. :] And I'm happy you like the Slytherins. They aren't gone, I promise. And you'll see about Ron/Mandy. I can't say either way. :D I hope you continue to like the story. Thanks for reviewing again!

--Emily


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Review #9, by Analesh7Rule Breaker: Slytherins

29th July 2012:
I am LOVING your OC especially Garrett ;) I canimaine the hotness radiating from him. I wonder what Ron think. Is he over her? Does he have Lavender to go back to? Lol

Author's Response: Hi again! I'm so glad you like Garrett! There are a lot of OCs in this (which is surprising for me since I usually avoid writing OCs). I hope you like them all as they enter the story more. And as for Ron, well, haha, things will become clearer with him much later in the story. Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked this chapter. :D

--Emily


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Review #10, by Analesh7Rule Breaker: A Broken Vase

29th July 2012:
What the hell is going on with Draco. He's showing hot and cold feelings already. At first saying to Hermione, "I was waiting for you" and the calling her a mudblood and scaring the wits out of her. Its just the third chapter and he's driving me crazy. Imagine was Hermione is feeling lol

So yes! Theodore, or really, Theo, isn't a bad guy. He doesn't hang out with Malfoys cronies and seems that he will act nice with Hermione, so I'm glad with you OC. Plus he likes Crookshanks! Nobody really likes that bloody cat so that makes him cool :)

Author's Response: Hey again!

I'm so happy that Draco is frustrating you! I actually think that's exactly how he's supposed to come off right now. :] And I'm glad that you like Theo! He's one of my favorites, honestly. So I'm very happy that he's coming through well. Thank you for another splendid review!

--Emily


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Review #11, by Analesh7Rule Breaker: The Sorting Hat's Warning

29th July 2012:
Woah the sorting song gave me shivers! Seriously. I felt like I was a student sitting in the great hall and hearing that. If I was there I would be scared witless.

So I'm loving Draco and his arrogance. He's so witty and charming, well in a mean way. This line made me laugh>> "The hostility here is overwhelming,” Draco said sarcastically. “It almost makes me think that I’m unwelcome.”

I'm hoping that Theodore isn't bad and that he and Hermione have a good friendship. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for them.

Author's Response: Hey again!

I'm so happy that you liked this chapter as well! I worked SO hard on that song, so I'm really happy it came through. :D And I'm so glad you liked Draco's lines. He makes me laugh. :] You'll see how Theo works out in future chapters, I promise. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

--Emily


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Review #12, by Analesh7Rule Breaker: A Predictable Appointment

29th July 2012:
Hi! It's wickedana from HPFFF

I am so glad that you asked me to review this because I just love Dramione. And I was just squealing at the end because Draco appeared all mysterious and gah! So excited to read on. 

I liked how you shifted everything around from what happened after year sixth but kept it believable. I could imagine Hermione cajoling Harry to staying just one last year and he of course knowing that Hermione is right a hundred percent of the time, agreed. Also with McGonagall wanting to create house unity and even with Hermione calling things off with Ron to save their friendship.

I think you did well with capturing the characters on point. Of course Hermione would be boastful in a small way because being head girl is a prestigious title and she would be proud to have it. And with Ron, you did a good job on just making him brutally honest with Hermione and letting her know she looked arrogant. I loved how they bickered. And with Harry, it was great how you included that he was said that it was his last year and Hogwarts was his home. You're really sticking to the characters persona!

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm really happy that you liked this chapter! And I'm really, REALLY glad it was a believable transition from sixth year. I wanted it to seem like it could actually happen...so, I'm happy you thought it did. And I'm glad you liked the characters and Draco's entrance. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Thanks for reviewing again!

--Emily


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Review #13, by Analesh7Moments of Impact: Plotting Revenge

29th July 2012:
I liked this! I really liked how you portrayed Remus as the narrator here. From reading the prologue I knew this was going to be good because I was ready to see how Remus saw all the Marauder business go down. I thought it was a great idea to add "Neil Insight" and "word of the wise" it makes the story so much enjoyable and adds a humorous side!

You really surprised me with making Lily be part of the Quidditch team. I was like woah! never seen that before. So that was a great twist which makes me think why James would like Lily more. All that extra time practicing would sure enough have deepened his feelings. Not only is Lily smart but like Quidditch: Jame's perfect girl.

Now for Sirius. I just love him. He has the perfect balance of arrogance and quirkiness!

I think the plot is definitely going somewhere. I can see room for character development and conflict. Grammar was also on point.

What I didn't like of the chapter was Lily dating Snape. As devout Lily/James shipper I can't see that happening. But I'm hoping that James will win her heart!!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I worked hard to incorporate the small pieces of humor, which wasn't always easy. Originally, I thought readers would despise them, but hearing your comment really encouraged me to continue adding them.

I added Lily to the Quidditch team for several reasons. I hoped it would prevent this piece from becoming a cliche fanfiction that readers quickly became bored while reading. Additionally, I thought it would provide a slight twist to my fanfiction. I'm glad to see you enjoyed it.

Sirius, was, by far, the hardest character for me to write about. He appears in hundreds of fanfictions, each of which portray him differently. I'm trying to stick as close to the books as possible, so, hopefully, I have succeeded.

Lastly, I couldn't help inserting the paragraphs regarding Snape and Lily dating. At the time, I realized that it would, most likely, receive a handful of negative comments from Lily/James shippers like yourself. However, I was willing to take the risk.

Thank you,
Voldy Needs a Hug


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Review #14, by Analesh7Moments of Impact: Prologue

29th July 2012:
For a prologue I thought this is really well written. From the beginning I didn't really know who was talking but once I got the end it all connected. The emotions and thoughts were right on cue with Remus. Remus has always been shunned by society because of how he is different and considered dangerous but he finally found that acceptance from his friends. So when you included this line "You have no idea what it’s like to have someone whom you are willing to die for torn away from you so abruptly, let alone three people. Their absence from my life was like a blow to the face. It had seemed that my world had shattered into a million tiny fragments, which seemed to pierce my heart in my every waking moment" I saw how his life would be forever changed because the true people who saw past what he was, was now gone.

Great job! Heading off to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: I'm glad to see that you enjoyed the prologue, which was a bit of a challenge for me to write. I wanted to keep readers in the dark with regards to the narrator until the end of the chapter, so it appears as if I have succeeded.

Thank you for the review,
Voldy Needs a Hug


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Review #15, by Analesh7Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth: Asmo's Afternoon

29th July 2012:
I really liked this chapter because of the details you add here. I just love how you're taking the story into your hands and adding these wonderful details on other games and making your characters stand out. I think Asmo is super hot :) And like I've said I really like Serena and she's one of those charaters I won't forget!

I forgot to mention this in the last review but I noticed that Seamus said something like Serena was suppose to serve him not the other way around and that sparked by interest to another level.

I started laughing at this part>> "but as soon as she became a teenager, he was all over her like white on rice."

AND I added a this story to my faves because i really want to continue reading the story.

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Review #16, by Analesh7An Interesting Turn of Events: Chapter 2

29th July 2012:
So for starters i don't think this chapter is as bad as you think it is. I think it captures exactly the after math of what Lily went through. You really did well with defining Lily's character because you didn't make her perfect person who does everything right a hundred percent of the time. You made her relatable, showing that EVERYONE slips up and makes mistake. I started see another side of James as well, because so far we saw him being arrogant and just strutting around. But by the end of the chapter we really saw a softer side of him, a more genuine side that I think is going to progress through further chapters. I felt so bad for him! For him it wasn't a mistake.

I think that the plot is very interesting and is going to get better (you're good writer!) please let me know when you have new chapter! I reall like this story

Author's Response: I'm so glad other people see this chapter better than I do. Hahaha.

James is such a great character. I think there are so many sides of him that can be portrayed, and that makes him a fun character to write.

I also like showing Lily with flaws. No one is perfect, even Harry Potter's mother.

I'm glad you're enjoying this story, the third chapter is waiting for validation!

~Caitlin


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Review #17, by Analesh7Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth: Minerva's Morning

29th July 2012:
I think you captured McGonagall's character right on point. She had a good balance of a tight, right to the point attiude and an adorable forever Gryffindor attiude :)

I also liked how you made Neville balanced as well. You didn't boast him as this new strong leader just because he had a strong voice in the D.A. You made him look believable and I think it was great you made him head boy!!

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Review #18, by Analesh7Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth: Finnegan's Fire

29th July 2012:
Is Serena a type of bird or something because this is the impression i got from the chapter. Maybe she's like a magical swan or something lol!

I thought you did a great job with descriptions in this chapter. You really have added your own personal twist into this story. I have never read a story yet that includes the way magic works in other countless like when you wrote about the potion society and how in Ireland and America children can use wands. Btw I would be so proud if I was a witch in America because could use a wand at such a young age.

At one point I thought that Serena was like Snapes child or something, I was just like Woah.

I just really want to know what Serena is because she is definitely not normal in witches/wizard standards.

Author's Response: Wow! I'd love to know what makes you suspect Serena is a type of bird! (Well, she does like the baby ducks.) I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that she's not a magical swan, but that is a REALLY cool idea -- a Wizarding World version of Swan Lake!

You are correct: Serena isn't the same as her wizarding classmates at Hogwarts, and it's not because she spent part of her childhood in America. Since you've tried hard to figure out the mystery while reading the last few chapters, I'll point out a clue from THIS chapter: Serena's mother complains that Serena is taking after her father's side of the family, and later Mrs. Finnegan sees Serena do something and says, "THAT'S what Linda meant by 'his side of the family.'" Soon you will meet another member of Serena's father's family.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Analesh7Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth: Fashion by Finnegan?

29th July 2012:
You're killing me with Serena! What's her deal! She seems so awesome and yet so mysterious gah!! You're definitely keeping me interested especially the end of this chapter. I'm starting to see a genuine and almost vulnerable part of her when Seamus says that he wants to protective of her (he is very sweet) but I wonder if he really (truly) has feelings for her and if she does for him.

I'm still trying to figure out what her family maybe. You have me re-reading the last two chapters to get a clue :/

I actually have a pashmina its not pink but it's a navy blue one :)

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Review #20, by Analesh7Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth: Finnegan's Future

28th July 2012:
I think this is more of a candid and lighter side of Serena. It was great to see Serenas interaction with Seamus because you can truly see a relationship. I liked how you added some humor with Charlie and everything. The whole thing about not forgetting someone who trains thestrals had me smiling.

That's great that your doing the research on Ireland's geography and slang. I did notice how differently Seamus spoke like saying "Kip" instead of "nap" and imagined him speaking with an accent. I could actually imagine serena wearing that scanty outfit too!

Author's Response: Thanks for continuing to read and review! It's great when people appreciate your details. I know a lot of Irish phrases and slang, but I did a lot of research to make sure I was using language that was truly popular in the late 90's. (In a few chapters we'll be home in Naas with Seamus' parents, and I wanted it to be right.)

I hope you enjoy the next chapter!


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Review #21, by Analesh7Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth: Potter's Puzzle

28th July 2012:
Hello! It's wickedana from HPFFF

I am very much intrigued and glad this was a long chapter. There was clearly so much going on, so much to point out after the battle of Hogwarts that I'm glad you just didn't introduce Serena and explain a little was going on and bam! End of the chapter. I really liked how you extended everything.

I thought you were very daring to write this story in Harry's third P.O.V because that's J.K.R "way" of writing but I thought you did a good job with it. You really captured the way Harry thinks on point because we all know he's headstrong and stubborn with things, in this case with Serena. But when there's enough evidence to go against what he thought, he will have a change of heart. You definitely captured his emotions well too like when he gets outraged that members of the D.A would possibly defend a person as Serena and how he gets reserved when talking about his personal life (Snape and Lily's connection).

I actually like Serena even if she's really obnoxious and nonchalant in a very cold way. You did a great job not creating a Mary-Sue character. Sure, Serena is great at potions and she helped with the D.A there's another side of her that's complete mystery. Like how everyone is nice to her and protective of her and yet she's cold and has a "whatever" attitude, ( I personally think that maybe she just doesnt like showing her true emotions and when the others are concerned about so her, she's not use to it.) I think that's interesting. I really want to know the connection between her and Seamus. I AM TOTALLY SHIPPING SERENA/SEAMUS!! Lol

Let me just say that you did a great job with descriptions. You're really making this story by adding things about the California elves and all these improvements to the castle and classes. It's very cool!

Great job :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! It's great to hear that you liked my first chapter, but even better that you shared exactly what you liked about it. It's very helpful to me!

You will definitely learn more about the Serena/Seamus connection as the story progresses!


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Review #22, by Analesh7Through His Eyes: The Second Time Around

26th July 2012:
YAY! Sage and Lucius finally talk for a quite a while! But Lucius is still so cold and distant. Its like he doesnt want to let any one in but I'm hoping he gives Sage a chance. I actually like this chapter because of the length. SO much was going on and I was so happy that i could just scroll down and MORE OF THE STORY! lol. I cant wait to see more Sage and Lucius moments :)

Author's Response: I can't wait for you to read the next chapter!

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Review #23, by Analesh7Through His Eyes: The Torn and the Broken

26th July 2012:
Oh wow. You made me really like Lucius. You made his more human and less heartless as I thought he was. This line made me just sigh of sadness>>> Look what you did, it hurts,” Lucius confessed, “despite that fact that this entire relationship had started off as a business proposal, I fell for you- hard.” I finally got see his true feelings and it makes me think about how he is not only battling the emotions with the death of his mother and the lack of attention from his father but also dealing with heartache. He actually fell for Narcissa and she went off to cheat on him. HOW RUDE!!

Let me just say this has to be my fave Lucius part because he totally told Narcissa off. >>> "I cannot stand liars or cheats and if that’s what you and your family is about then it’s over.” (BURN!)

Author's Response: I'm glad that was you favorite part as it is mine as well ^_^

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Review #24, by Analesh7Love Story: Weeping On The Staircase

26th July 2012:
I REALLY liked this! I just love how there's so much depth into Molly's character. She's strong, yet vulnerable and then bold all at the same time. Its wonderful. Im glad we got to see Arthur and Molly talk and dance!! (so beautiful!) And let me just say that I DO NOT like Molly's dad or Daniel because they're stopping true love!!

I really want to know whats up with Daniel because he is such a mysterious character.

I can't wait to read the next chapter! Please let me know, I want to know how their meeting is going to go.

Author's Response: Thank you so so so so so much!!

I loved writing the bit where the talked and danced! I just LOVE Molly/Arthur and HATE it when they're apart.

Yep, I'll let you know as soon as it's valid. Although, the meeting won't be the next chapter, the don't meet for another week!


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Review #25, by Analesh7Love Story: Hello

26th July 2012:
AW! I really liked this. I think was so happy when Arthur finally made his appearance and especially with the flashback. You did a really great job on that expressing Molly's isolation from her friends. And at the end of it, you had me smiling when Molly saw what Arthur dropped. A mobile phone. YES!! HIS FASCINATION WITH MUGGLE STUFF!! I'm so glad you included that. BUT is it a reular house phone or a cell phone? because i realized on the banner the date is 1968 and i'm not if the concept of a cell phone was invented. idk it doesnt matter.

I wonder whats going with Molly's mom, its so strange! It reminded me when someone is under the imperious curse. hmmm.

And whats with Daniel and his extreme need to have Molly's brothers at the wedding... also strange.

The end was my fave part because he said hello! the magic between them just started :)

Author's Response: Thank you thank you THANK YOU!

Hehe, muggle phones weren't invented then, but hey ho!

Hmm, you'll have to wait to find out...

I know! I was so excited when I wrote that part! :D


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