Reading Reviews From Member: ginnypotter242
  
230 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ginnypotter242Risking It All: Reality

27th July 2014:
Hello! I'm here for your requested review!

Right, this is off to a good start. I enjoyed seeing from Dom's point of view, and get that little glimpse into her mind. I liked how you wrote her. Teddy is usually Vic's best friend (and a year or two older than her, but you did explain why you did that, so it works). Making him Dom's best friend is definitely unique!

Victoire's characterization is good too- even tough we don't see much of it from this chapter. What we do see is the snobby side that a little sister sees (and as a little sister myself, I can attest this! Very true). Good job writing Fleur's accent too- I know it's difficult to write, but you did a good balance of the diluted French accent.

Flow: Your flow seems pretty good so far. Your dialogue reads easily and seems pretty natural-I can imagine these conversations happening. Dominique's thoughts were pretty good as well. They seemed normal for a love-struck teenager!

Your are definitely off to a good start here. You have some unique parts in here- Teddy and Victoire being the same age, Dom being Teddy's best friend. Try to keep up with those plots- Victoire/Teddy/Dominique love triangles are ratehr common, so having unique parts will always help! You seem to be doing a pretty good job of it so far. I feel like this will definitely keep a reader's interest, and Dominique's thoughts are very interesting to read. It's written well, and clear of any grammar or spelling mistakes that I noticed. Your summary is very enticing, and you didn't disappoint with this chapter! Personally, reading a chapter with good spelling and grammar makes in a lot better for me, so good job with that.

I'd love to see more of the backstory with Dominique and Teddy. Her little flashbacks in this chapter were good, and I hope there's more interaction later on, of them in the present. But I'd like to see their friendship more fleshed out as well.

I don't really have much critique on this! I'd like to see some of the relationship's more fleshed out- particularly Dom/Teddy and Dom/Victoire.

All in all, great job with this chapter. Love triangles always tend to pique a reader's interest, and this is a popular one as well. You're off too a great start :)

~Sara

Author's Response: Ahh thank you for this fantastic review!

Thank you so much for addressing everything so thoroughly :) I'm pleased you like Victoire's characterization so far - she's definitely not one-dimensional, so I'm glad it was understandable that this was from Dom's point of view, and she's not completely evil. I'm also not entirely used to writing first person, so it's good to know Dom's thoughts were interesting to read.

Also, it's really comforting to hear the summary is enticing - I absolutely hate writing summaries, so I'm glad it worked out well. There definitely are more Dom and Teddy moments in upcoming chapters!

Again, thank you for taking the time to write this review. :) It means a lot!

Jackie


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Review #2, by ginnypotter242Never Look Back: Introductions - Part : 2

23rd July 2014:
Hello! I'm back to review this again :)

Yay, more introductions! I love Lily, she's adorable. Harry seemed very taken with her- so cute, especially the chocolate part.

Oh my goodness, Ron and Hermione. They always jump to conclusions, don't they! Ron is so impulsive- he needs to let Hermione explain! They're driving me insane, come on. They have kids together, how can they not realize they love each other. *shakes head sadly* For the smartest witch of her age, Hermione can be rather stupid at times.

Okay, Teddy's 20? But Victoire's 17, going into 6th year? I'm fairly certain that Victoire is only 1 or 2 years younger than Teddy, going into her 7th year the year of the epilogue. Teddy is 10 years older than Lily, so he'd be 18 going by this ageing. (My gosh! Sorry, I keep pointing out ages! It's a weakness of mine, and Next Gen is my favorite era, so I pay attention to all of that :( Oops)

But, otherwise, Teddy's introduction was great. I loved the reactions of Remus and Tonks! I love interactions between those three, and I hope to see more between them. And uh-oh, drama ahead! Teddy can't die- they have 9 months to get back to their time. Not the best time to be stuck in the past either, they have to try not to get killed by Death Eaters as well. That's going to make it interesting!

Great chapter! I'm looking forward to the next one- I don't want to wait until August!

~Sara

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Review #3, by ginnypotter242It's a Date: It's a Date

12th July 2014:
I just read HeyMrsPotter's companion piece to this, and I really love both of your stories- you guys made them fit together really well.

I liked that this was from Hannah's point of view. It was a really sweet one-shot, and I liked getting some insight on how Hannah felt about Neville. I think it's really sweet that she had a crush on him even in Hogwarts. This was really well written, and I think you wrote Hannnah's character fantastically.

There were a couple spelling errors that I noticed- a few appearate's and Hanna, but nothing very big.

I liked their discussion's on their houses, and the sharing secrets about Hufflepuff. It was cute and pretty funny as well. I liked how you described what happened when a boy tried to go to the girls dorm- it was unique. I really want to know what the Hufflepuff common room looks like! This was a really well- written story and I really liked reading it. Neville/Hannah are such a cute couple, and I'm really happy with the way you wrote them.

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #4, by ginnypotter242Neville, Wait!: Mumbling Mimbulus Mibletonia's

12th July 2014:
Aww, this was adorable! Neville is so awkward and sweet, it just warms my heart. I really enjoyed reading this, especially from Neville's point of view. The beginning was really good, when he was thinking about how self-assured 7th years are. It was funny how he described them and how his predictions came true.

I really liked that the Hufflepuff girl reminded him of Hannah. Hannah is such a sweet and kind person, and she's so good for Neville! I really enjoyed how he thought about Hannah, and realized that he actually thought about her a lot. You did a good job with not making his self-confidence raise too much after the war- I always felt that he'd be like Harry and not like the spotlight, not thinking that he did anything important. You did a really good portrayal of Neville's character.

The ending was adorable. I really liked how Neville was awkward and fumbling, and sort of just expected her to say no. I also liked seeing the determined side of Hannah. It's a different side to her, and I'm glad that she was able to make him realize that it wasn't a pity date. This was such a sweet one shot and brilliantly written- great job!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #5, by ginnypotter242All is NOT Fair in Love and War: |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

12th July 2014:
So, this was an interesting introduction. I'm interested to see where you're going with this story.

Draco does seem a little OOC in this, and I'm interested to see what has changed him. If I could recommend one thing, I'd say try to cut down on the amount of exclamation points. Even if Draco has changed quite a bit, it doesn't really fit in his voice, and many exclamation points in one chapter make it a little distracting and stops it from flowing as well.

This is an interesting idea, and your summary interested me. I really would like to see where this story goes, and how you write Draco and the rest of the characters. The war is over in this story right? Voldemort is dead and gone? I do like Draco's thoughts throughout this chapter, about love. It sets up the story very well, and makes me want to read more (because honestly, Draco and love is interesting). Nice job on this chapter! Looking forward to seeing where this story goes :)

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for checking this out!! I am in the editing stages of this right now, so I will definately look back over this and fix all those exclamation points. Honesty, I forgot all about editing the Intro, lol. So I am very glad you mentioned that, thanks! :)

To answer your question; this story is AU, and it takes place two years after Dumbledore's death. The Trio is still out Hurcrux hunting, so Voldemort is NOT dead yet, and the war IS still going on. This Intro was just written from Draco's POV after everything is all said and done. Sorry for the confusion with that, lol. You will see at the beginning of chapter 1 where everyone stands at, and hopefully everything will make more sense by then! ^_^;

Thank you so much for checking this out hun, I appreciate it! I am looking SO forwards to hearing your thoughts on the rest of it as well. I'm off to bed right now, but I will be sure to check out your author page and swap back asap tomorrow when I get off work! I really, really hope that you like the rest if you do decide to keep reading. Thanks for the review, Sarah. Nice to meet you! =D


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Review #6, by ginnypotter242Event Three -- The Firework-Maker's Daughter: Legacy

12th July 2014:
Okay, now I'm crying. This was incredibly sad! Seeing the relationship Roxanne had with her dad, even just through the past chapters of this, I can only imagine how hard this would be for her. I think you kept her in character though, and it was a good way to bring the fireworks back. I think it was the kind of funeral Fred would have wanted, and Roxanne's speech was definitely in character for her relationship with her father. The entire story was really sweet, but obviously rather sad as well.

I like the friendship between Roxanne and Hugo. It's not a friendship that's typically seen, as their ages are usually portrayed as so far apart. I like that this was r=from Hugo's point of view as well, it added a bit of a twist. The conversation between Roxanne and Hugo in the beginning, when they were discussing the fireworks at her birth was adorable. It was heart-wrenching when Roxanne said that she would never had a chance to ask him what the second kind were. I'm glad Hugo was there and was able to answer for her. They had a really nice relationship and it was portrayed really well. Great job on this story!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #7, by ginnypotter242Event Three -- The Firework-Maker's Daughter: Bonfire

12th July 2014:
Aww, this was so cute! I love how you wrote George and Roxanne's father/daughter relationship. It was so adorably sweet, and I loved getting a glimpse into George's mind throughout the entire story. I liked their father/daughter bonding time at the beginning with the fireworks- it shows how close they are. The terror that he felt when he heard about Roxanne's accident was very realistic and well written.

I really liked the part with George taking the fireworks off his shelves. It really showed how close he was too his daughter and how terrified he was for her, considering fireworks have always been a big part of WWW. I liked his reasoning too.

Great job writing this! It was very sweet, and I loved reading it.

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #8, by ginnypotter242Event Three -- The Firework-Maker's Daughter: Songbird

12th July 2014:
This was a really interesting take n this prompt! I've never seen a story written from the point of view of a creature before, so this was really unique and interesting to read. I think you did well though. The description of Roxanne was really interesting, and I loved that she was so indignant that the Fwooper was locked up and silenced. She was so sassy in it, t the shopkeeper, and I could totally see the George and Weasley blood in her!

Your characterization of her was just perfect, and the little family moment of George, Angelina, Fred and Roxanne was adorable- that family is adorable and I think you did them all justice! This was such a sweet one shot, especially with Roxanne letting the Fwooper free in the end- I can totally see her being mischievous like that (she does have George's blood after all). Great job!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #9, by ginnypotter242House Cup Event Three: Until The Very End: Until The Very End

12th July 2014:
Hello! This was such a sweet story. Hannah is such a sweet character, and I love how you wrote her. Simon is a very interesting OC, and I liked him. He was sweet and such a nice friend to Hannah. Hannah never gets explored much, especially her life before Hogwarts. I like the idea that she had a Muggle friend that she told everything to- even things about magic. Their friendship was really sweet, and I loved the way you wrote the two. The beginning of their friendship was adorable-especially the part with the hole in the fence. It was completely adorable.

Your writing style in the story was very sweet and you had a really good way of writing the kids when they were young. Hannah's remembrance of her best friend, remembering what he was like and when he was there for her especially during special moments in her life was great, and so sweet. Great job!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hi Sara!
I'm so glad you liked Hannah and Simon! I had a lot fun writing the two of them. I really wanted one half of the pair to be magical and the other to be a muggle to show that they can be best friends even if their lives are so different. Writing the beginning of the story when they were kids was my favorite part, I think! I love writing kids, so getting to do it in this story was so much fun!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #10, by ginnypotter242The Start of Something: Prompt 2 - When Darkness Fades

12th July 2014:
This was interesting. I don't see a lot of stories about Theodore Nott, and I especially don't see a lot with an interaction between him and Harry.

The beginning of this was really good, and Harry's thoughts were great. They were perfect from the perspective of someone who had just fought such a war, like Harry did. His way of coping, by pretending everyone was just sleeping, was good- denial is a large factor when things like that happen. I think you really brought out Harry's emotions well, as well as everyone else's that were grieving.

Theo and Harry's conversation was pretty good as well. Discussing their issues and relative weirdness was really well written, and the interaction between the two was great. It brought a unique twist on the relationships Harry has with other characters- especially minor characters.

I really like how you wrote this, it was styled really well. And I love the line at the end with Harry saying :I know who you are" after they introduce themselves- a bit of irony there.

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #11, by ginnypotter242Solace: Comfort

12th July 2014:
Aww! Katie/Oliver is an under appreciated ship, it really is. I love how you wrote them. The scene in the hospital was so sweet! Oliver was as Quidditch obsessed as always, not even thinking that Katie was talking about how people were doing in life. It was really sweet.

Okay, the rest of the fic was heartbreaking! Losing a spouse is horrible. Hearing ow he died, and reading Katie's initial reactions actually made me tear up quite a bit. It was very well written and flowed perfectly from one scene to another.

the part with the niffer is sweet and unique. I really liked the sentiment behind it, and that they've kept it all these years even though niffers don't typically make good pets. Great job writing this! It was a beautiful (if not horribly sad) one-shot!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #12, by ginnypotter242Delicate: Red Rose

12th July 2014:
There always seems to be a party and Firewhiskey involved, doesn't there...

This was a good chapter! That Carl guy is definitely a jerk- that is the worst way to break up with someone! Go Rose for hexing him!

I like Rose and Dom's friendship. In most fics, she's best friends with Al, so it's nice to see her friends with her other cousins. I liek that their so close that they can have silent conversations- I love being close enough with people to do that!

Poor Rose, this is going to be an awkward couple of weeks, isn't it? She really should tell Scorpius first- or soon, at any rate. People can only go so long without telling people that they're pregnant- people are bound to notice after a few months.

You have a really good writing style. It flows really well, and your characterizations are great. I really love your interpretation of Rose, and seeing rebellious, moody Hugo is great.

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #13, by ginnypotter242Delicate: Prologue: The Test

11th July 2014:
Well, hello there! This is a really interesting first chapter, and very well written. I've actually read this before, but was in the process of re-reading it when I realized I haven't reviewed it yet!

I really like Rose, and her sense of denial. It's a pretty natural reaction when someone realizes that they're pregnant at 16. She's very dramatic as well, describing everything that happens to her family. She definitely has a rather large family, so describing what happens to each person was very interesting and pretty amusing as well. All the cousins are in prison/pregnant/STI-ridden/dead/disowned? That's definitely overreacting a bit- though Rose is completely within her rights to do so! I really liek how you're writing her.

This prologue is very well written, and invites you to read more. Good job :)

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #14, by ginnypotter242The Invisible Thief : Just Friends

11th July 2014:
I can deal with this. Friends with benefits can work out (probably because they have a really good chance of falling in love now). I wasn't exactly expecting it, but it's an interesting plot twist! Hopefully they become more than friends...with benefits soon too ;)

I like the 'blue hat' warning signal. It's amusing, especially as Leslie is usually very nice and sweet. I wish there had been more Leslie/Fred interaction in this chapter, though maybe it was a good thing there wasn't considering the whole 'blue hat' thing. I want to see them soon though! The Amelia and Louis insinuation was cute as well- laving within minutes of each other. I like it :)

Speaking of Amelia, she doesn't know about the kiss, does she? Brielle better tell her- Amelia isn't one for being kept out of the loop, is she?

Gah, the classroom scene. I think I squealed out loud every time they kissed. As you can probably tell, I'm very much on the Bribus. I loved how you did the scene though!

I'm not sure I'm going to be too happy with this new man coming into the picture. I hope he doesn't add in /too/ much drama!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #15, by ginnypotter242The Invisible Thief : Run like Lightening

11th July 2014:
I called it! I so called it! I totally knew she was going to run away. Why did she have to run away? She could've just stayed and continued snogging Albus and then they would have started dating and they'd be in love and happy ever after! That would've been a good plan!

In all seriousness though this was a really good chapter. I liked Brielle's freakout the whole morning and how she kind of just blurted out line after line. The WolfsBend dilemma is interesting too- a unique twist on the Delacour-Welasey's. I like Anelia and Louis' relationship as well. They're rather cute together, and I;d like to see more interaction between the two of them in the future!

So does Brielle realize that she likes Al yet? She should- they kissed! She should at least admit to herself that she likes him. Fred and Leslie were great in this chapter- as muc as I want them together, I'm glad Brielle took her back to the dormitory. I wonder how they'll react when they see each other!

I think the girls are going to freak out a little bit- they have no clue of Brielle's feelings after all. I hope Dominique stops pushing James and Brielle now! Great Chapter!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #16, by ginnypotter242The Invisible Thief : Just say Yes!

11th July 2014:
Oh, I love all your characters so much. I can't even pick a favorite, their all so perfect. All of their little quirks are adorable and make the story so much more interesting.

Brielle certainly knows how to diffuse tension...or make people stop worrying at least. Falling on your butt can make anybody laugh, I'm pretty sure.

Leslie better say yes to Fred, and soon! The fainting at breakfast was amusing, and I'm *sure* it's because she didn't eat anything. Totally. But she better say yes- it's not a pity date (more like a blackmail date) and she should realize that. I just want them to happen.

The note passing with Louis was cute. I like Louis so far, he seems to be a pretty good character. I hope he and Amelia get on well! The note was a clever idea- though how did Neville know that she was writing notes to people? Wouldn't it have just looked like she was taking notes on the lesson?

Great job on this chapter, it was good (though these couple dancing around are going to make me go crazy)

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #17, by ginnypotter242Faking It: Gryffindors Are Creeps

11th July 2014:
Hello! I want to know who Laney is snogging! She really shouldn't keep it a secret from her best friend (Garrett and Jordan, I can understand. Stupid overprotective boys). I think Candice deserves to know- she did get dragged to the Quidditch pitch and hit with a bludger.

Okay, well James got into a bit of hot water with Vera it seems. I guess that's what happens when you snog multiple girls in a day. He really is such a jerk though! Especially making fun of Candice like that, and saying that he wouldn't have really snogged her. That's just rude. It seems like James actually does know her name though! And yay for Candice finding spells to use on creepy Gryffindors- though I think she actually should have hexed him as she was leaving. It might have done him some good! Anyway, great chapter!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #18, by ginnypotter242 a goodbye in three parts: Today

11th July 2014:
Nadia! This was so amazing. It was beautifully written, but completely heartbreaking. I never thought about Dean and Luna's friendship that they must have forged during their stay at Shell Cottage. I'm glad you wrote about it though. You definitely did both of their characters justice. I love the style of this story, how it shows Dean's current thought of remembering Luna. This was such a sad story, yet perfect for the prompt you wrote it for! You completely broke my heart by the way- I'm just going to cry in the corner over there. Don't mind me. The quote "I've added you to my ceiling, Dean Thomas" is so perfect, because it shows that Luna truly thinks of Dean as a good friend. It shows how close they were. I'm glad she helped give him the courage to tell Seamus how he felt too. That's so sweet, and her protecting Seamus at the battle was perfect. Luna would do anything for her friends, including protecting the people that they love. Great job Nadia, this was a beautifully written, heart-wrenching story!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review) Go Gryffindor!

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Review #19, by ginnypotter242Paper Hearts: Draco Malfoy

11th July 2014:
Yay! Her book is finished and delivered to Vine! Finally, I'm so proud of Astoria! I'm glad Reno is coming back to England as well- going off to Paris with Terry was not a good idea, and I'm glad she decided not to stay. I'm interested to see Reno's brother too- if Tabby has had a crush on him for so long, he must be quite a character.

I'm really glad she summoned some Gryffindor and took that step forward. The reaction she had to reading it to Draco and Narcissa was perfectly described. The words continued to tumble out of her, and I'm for one very glad she couldn't stop speaking. I can't believe she admitted to Draco that she was in love with him! She hadn't even admitted that to herself, so that's a big step. I can't wait to see his reaction- I wish she hadn't ran away. I hope things don't get too awkward with them now. Great chapter!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #20, by ginnypotter242Paper Hearts: Cracks

11th July 2014:
I hope her father is all right! That's a horrible thing to go through. I've been in those waiting room chairs before, and it's not a pleasant experience. I like the disagreement between Daphne and Astoria about the future- it's a very realistic argument to have, and rather typical for people in such a situation.

Astoria's view of the world, in the hospital, is really good. I like how she people watched and made stories for people passing by.

The discussion with Narcissa was interesting. I'm curious as to what is really wrong with Narcissa. I'm looking forward to seeing Draco's reaction to her book, and see if he picks up on the subtext. Great job on this chapter!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #21, by ginnypotter242Faking It: I Hate Quidditch

11th July 2014:
Ooh, nice first chapter. James seems like a bit of a jerk and a player. Hopefully he matures soon! Snogging two girls in one day- not classy James, not classy at all.

I like Candice. She seems like an interesting character and I'm excited to see more of her personality come out in future chapters. I like Laney too, in all her boy-obsessed craziness. I'm sure she'll be an interesting character to explore later on. I'm rather intrigued to see who she was kissing after try outs- hopefully it wasn't James! He seemed a bit preoccupied ;)

Nice introduction chapter, it seems interesting so far. I'm interested to see where this story goes, and your summary interested me.

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #22, by ginnypotter242Of Saints and Sinners: Of Enemies and Friends

11th July 2014:
Hello! This was an interesting chapter, I liked seeing how the girls handled the investigations. Anna definitely has a rather, unconventional way of getting information out of certain people.

I really like Kate. She does her job (her professional, legal job) well, and I like how she interacts with her fellow co-workers, especially Louis. Louis was written differently than I see a lot, with the cocky and obnoxious attitude. I'm glad she told him off though!

Dom seems to be rather close to James, yes? I hope she finds out why he was in Knockturn Alley soon- and I hope it wasn't anything too bad.

I didn't notice much wrong in this chapter- just a couple spelling errors here and there, but nothing too big or distracting. You have rather long chapters, which is commendable, but it can get difficult to keep everything straight when writing :)

The story can get a little confusing, but in the way it's supposed to be. There is a lot of mystery surrounding the girls and the "Phantom" that has yet to unravel. Like I said in my last review, you seem to be writing this in a Pretty Little Liars fashion- a bunch of secrets that eventually come to light as time goes on. It's a unique style of writing, and you make it work well. It's intriguing to read and I keep wanting to read more to know what happens.

Great chapter! I really enjoy reading this story, and I'm looking forward to the next update!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. And yes, I am obsessed with Pretty Little Liars a bit so the idea probably came from that. I'm glad you like the characters and hopefully you'll like the next chapter as well. :)

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Review #23, by ginnypotter242Never Look Back: Chapter 2 - Introductions : Part 1

11th July 2014:
Well, that's got to be a shock for the Order to come into. I like the Harry/Ginny interactions. You turn Harry back into a teenage boy in this story, forgetting that he has to save the world. It's nice to have the fate of the world lifted off of his shoulders for a little while.

The Weasley boys reactions were perfectly on point. Ron would have freaked out, seeing how much he freaked out just watching them date. Charlie- well, I agree with Charlie's reaction, as I feel like he was rather close to Ginny, but was he there at that time? I may be wrong, but I feel like he was still in Romania, doing things for the Order long-distance.

James was great, a perfect blend of his namesakes. Fred and George were lovely with him, and devious little manipulators as well. Things just got awkward- they should finish introductions before. telling people who died though. I can't wait for Teddy to go, and to see Remus and Tonks' reactions! Teddy (and Victoire, but she already went) is one of my favorite next-gen characters, so I love it when stories like this happen and he can meet his parents!

Great job on this chapter. Did you make James 2 years older than James? It's fluid in canon- 1 or 2 years older- but Al should still be a 1st year if you made Lily 8, since at Al's first year she still has 2 years until she gets to go to Hogwarts. If that made any sense... Anyway, I'm really enjoying this story so far! Hope you update soon!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #24, by ginnypotter242Never Look Back: The Unexpected Visitors

11th July 2014:
Ooh, interesting idea! I love time travel stories, particularly Next Gen. I'm happy Teddy will get the chance to meet his parents too! You have a very good start here.

A couple recommendations first:
Your spelling and grammar is pretty good, but there a few places where the wrong version of a word is used or misspelled, or there isn't a space between words. Just a good proof read, or a beta could help you with that :)

One line I had an issue with is when Harry said "If there's anything worth fighting for, it's us, darling!" I just don't think Harry would have used that term. He didn't seem like one for pet names, especially when he was that age. Old and married, I can see him using the occasional 'honey' or 'sweetie' but I think 'darling' is pushing it a bit :/

Other than those small bits, this chapter was very good. This story is off to a great start. So, the kids are actually going to change the future? That's interesting- I see so many time travel fics where everyone gets obliviated or decides not to change anything! I like your characters so far, and I'm interested to see how you write the next gen kids. Teddy and Victoire seem good already (and I'm glad you put them together! Tedoire ftw) so I'm sure you'll do the rest justice. Good luck with this story, and I hope you keep it up- I'm looking forward to reading it!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hi Sara! Thank you for your valuable reviews. They made my week! I'm glad you like the story. I've read many time-travel stories too; most of which were sadly abandoned. So, I decided to write one on my own. :)

You're right about Harry's line in the first chapter. Even when I wrote it, I'd been in two minds, but in the end decided to just go through with it. I will definitely consider getting a Beta. For now though, third chapter's already up for validation.

I ship cannon pairings, so Tedoire all the way! :) I like Teddy too. He has a strong personality; a perfect blend of Remus and Tonks the way I see him. I only hope I can do justice to his character. Yea...You're right about Lily and Al's ages!

Once again, Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such an honest feed back! It means a lot to me. I hope you continue enjoying this story. :)


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Review #25, by ginnypotter242Paper Hearts: A Downhill Turn

11th July 2014:
Astoria is very good at procrastinating, isn't she? Her dilemma over Draco is great- she knows she shouldn't like him, yet she /does/. It's infuriating, and you bring out her emotions very well. I can relate to Astoria despite never having been in her exact situation.

The run in with Draco was unexpected, yet nice. it's nice to know that he still wanted to talk to her and wasn't insanely furious at her- does that mean that he read (and accepted) her apology? The letter from Tabby/Reno was definitely unexpected as well. I hope nothing bad happens to Reno in Paris, Terry hasn't been the most perfect person in this story! I also hope that Astoria will come to terms with her feelings soon- she has to deal with them, one way or another.

The part with her dad was horrible- he's not going to die, is he? The two sister's have enough to deal with right now! Was it a heart attack he had? I don't know for sure, but those symptoms sound like what happens during a heart attack. I hope her dad is okay. Astoria really does not need more stress right now, considering she realized she has feelings for Draco Malfoy and her book is due in a week. Stressfull times...

This story is doing really well so far! I love your versions of Draco and Astoria!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

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