Reading Reviews From Member: javct
  
309 Reviews Found

Review #26, by javctKeep Calm and Carry On: Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

11th October 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!
I do apologize for taking so long - school just started this week and it just hit me (and I crawled in a hole and ignored life :P)

Anyway. I do agree with you that Edie has the potential to become a Mary Sue BUT ONLY IF YOU LET HER! Anyone can avoid their heroine become Mary Sue as long as they watch her carefully but I do think that you won't let that happen; with your writing talent and so far, she seems really good. I love reading about girls that have guy friends of whom they do not harbour "feelings" for. I'm really interested to see how their relationships pan out in the next few chapters :)

Comedy: I can't comment much on it in this chapter because it is mainly just introducing the characters; that, and I don't read much humor but if the characters say in with the personalities that you have blessed them with then I am sure that the comedy will be really good :) I did, however, like this line: "May we never have office jobs, may our futures be full of nights forgotten by morning, and most importantly, may we always get laid." it really made me laugh!

In which chapter are you going to introduce Oliver? (may I ask?). I am defiantly eager to know what happens in the next few chapters (I want to meet her boss; for some reason she reminds me a lot of Miranda Presely if you have ever seen "The Devils Wears Prada")

Good job and good luck on your future chapters!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hello! No problem; I know what you mean about life getting in the way.

Thanks for all of your comments in my areas of concern, and I appreciate you taking the time to judge its value as a comedy even though you don't typically read them.

Certainly you may ask about Oliver's introduction. We first meet him in chapter three (which I know is a wait for some people, but I'm a sucker for backstory.) Then from there on out he'll be in the story for good!

Also, I really wanted Edie's boss to be like Miranda Presely because I freaking love Meryl Streep. But I was afraid of making this too similar, and I also really liked the idea of her boss as kind of an idiot male, so I came up with Mr. Ward. You get a nice little dose of him in chapter two ;)

Again, thanks so much for stopping by to read my story!


 Report Review

Review #27, by javctThe dreamland of angels: Act 1 Curtain call

3rd October 2012:
Back.

Can I compliment you on your use of dialogue? It's amazing, can I steal your dialogue talent. It just seemed so... natural and un-forced, you also made them sound like normal humans and not people reading from a movie-script, they still stuttered and made human mistakes. Your dialogue is really good.

That said, nothing much happened in this chapter. You introduced a new character who shares her passion for dancing which was good and you showed the readers some of Anastasia's morals which I loved but that was it.

Also, she is on holidays right now right? Does she do her Ballet classes during the holidays because she can't attend them because she goes to Hogwarts? (I just thought I'd check incase I got it wrong)

Are we going to see the mysterious boy on the motorbike *cough*Sirius*cough* at this club? I'd like to think so :P

I think the pace is coming around nicely. The story, to me, flows naturally and doesn't have huge gaping holes between time periods (which annoys me sometimes).

Feel free to re-request!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Again, I am going to start by apologins profoundly for taking so long in replying, since i felt escecially guilty when i read this review. I hope i have not made you think i am ungrateful for your words, because i am not. I went throught the roof when i read you liked my dialogue. When i started writing that was one of my weakest points and it has taken me a lot of practice to make my characters sound more natural when talkng to each other.
I had noticed that this chapter is a little loose around the edges, so I am editing it as well. The point of this chapter was to introduce Alicia and her repationship with Anya, how they are different and how they fit toghether. When i first wrote it, this chapter and the next one were supposed to be a single chapter but i cut it because i thought it was too long. But now I've changed my mind. I write long chapters, I need to get used to the idea, because cuttingt hem in half interrupts the story and drags it out.
Yeah, Sirius is goign to come on the the next chapters. Him and James, and belive it or not, Regulus as well.
Im relieved you found the pace and the flow ok. I was so concerned when i first requested. I am eidting the story melting chapters toghether and cutting back unnessecary bits, but your reviews helped me decide the keep the first few chapter as they are, so thank you and again, sorry for the lateness of my reply.
You have been most kind and I hope i can reaquest again, as soon as a spot is available in your thread.


 Report Review

Review #28, by javctThe dreamland of angels: Epilogue Here, where all things come to the close...

3rd October 2012:
javct45 finally here with your requested review

First off, I'm sorry for taking so long, real life got in the way for the first time since, well, ever!

Now onto the story. I really like the start of this story -- you have given the main character a decent personality (it's not cliche'd so yay for that!) and I adore how original she is; I mean, I don't that I've ever read a story on the archives of someone who wants to do something non-magical when they leave school.
I also love how you have made her a normal teenage girl, especially when she is noticing how mean she is becoming with her thoughts towards her best friend.

I can't comment about the plot so far but can I take a guess at the boy on the motorbike? Sirius Black? I mean, it's a Sirius/OC story and he owns a motorbike! *i'm probably wrong but ah well*

You mentioned in your areas of concern that you wanted to portray your characters before giving them an adventure and I like your thinking. You have defiantly given Anastasia (I love that name by the way!) strong foundations and good ground to work with. I can't wait to see how she turns out :D

The only critique/question I have is, you said in the story that Anastasia before she was out of the Academy. How is that possible because she goes to Hogwarts?

Apart from that it's brilliant! Onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Allow me to start with an apology.
Im so very sorry that i neglected to respond for so long, especially since i was the one who requested the review. You have been very kind in your review and I am mortified for the delay.
Im relieved that you found Anya's character refreshing. I am trying to make her as real as i can by giving her a very flawed personality and making her do stuff that aren't that normal for a witch - hence the fancing.
You're right, the guy on the bike is Sirius of course, and the story is aboutt he two of them.
I wanted with this story to try and write romance, and even though it was my first try at somehting so specific as this, i wanted it to be diferent, and I was trying to do that by writing the story ina certain way - with certain characters that fight against their circumstances. And i thought i coudln't make that sound beliavable if the reader didn't get to kow the character well first. But i have finally reached the concusion that i have to speed things alon more.
Anya follows the summer courses of the Academy, and goes to Hogwarts teh rest of the year, but she practices every second she gets in the castle (she has a basic curriculum that gives her more free time than the typical Hogwarts student) - that is explained more in teh later chapters.
Again, I am so sorry for the delay in replying and I thnk you heartedly for the review. I hope i have the chance to request again.


 Report Review

Review #29, by javctIn the Distance of Bravery : 3

1st October 2012:
First off, apologise for taking so long. For a moment, life caught up with me *shudders* but here I am! To review this amazing story!

You asked about the plot. I think that you don't need to be worried about the plot: you have a wonderful storyline with really good characters to follow it up.

I think that the flow is fine and you have managed to contrast the two timelines brilliantly. The flashbacks give the story more depth and I like how you haven't put them all in one chapter and that they're giving the reader one small insight at a time about Ted and Lucy previous relationship.

I enjoyed the characterisation. They are next-gen characters so they're pratically canon OCs because we only saw them in one chapter (and even then they were children). But the characterisation was really good. I like how not everyone greeted Lucy back as though she hadn't left them for years.

THE ENDING! WHY ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE ENDING! THE ENDING WAS BRILLIANT! It was, I fully recommend that you leave the ending the way it is. I laughed when I read the ending and kudo's to you because I never laugh in stories! (I'm an emotionless dalek)

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hi there!

No worries! Life gets like that for me too, so I completely understand :) I AM SO PLEASED YOU LIKED THE ENDING! yay. That'd awesome. Thank you so so much I'm so pleased and you've eased my mind about so many things. Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #30, by javctThe Left Side of Tomorrow: The Left Side of Tomorrow

27th September 2012:
I had to be honest, I had a small freakout when I saw that you wrote Tom/Minerva stories!

This story is just brilliant! I cannot find any fault in this story; I love how you have managed to keep Tom in characterisation (we only saw a snippet of him in CoS as a boy) and I adore the way that you wrote this. I like how you haven't made Tom a jerk but you also haven't made him a Prince Charming or the Knight In Black Armour. I also adored the way that you wrote Minerva -- she seemed completely in character, especially in the way that she defended Dumbledore and knew that, deep down, Tom was dangerous.

You have managed to capture their relationship (or would-be-relationship) perfectly.

Good luck in your future writing endeavours!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing this story! :D I wondered if you'd find my Tom/Minervas - this is my second. Yours have been on my to-read list, and I look forward to being able to read them. It's always a treat to find another supporter of this ship. :D

You've hit the nail on the head in your discussion of Tom - I wanted to achieve that middle ground between the two major characterizations of him as either evil cad or darkly romantic hero (like Heathcliff). Here, he's rather more normal. Minerva knows that there's something off about him, but she still respects him for his talents and intelligence, and unlike most others, she isn't judgmental or demanding. In the world of this story, I expect that they played chess on winter days or something of that sort - meeting as intellectual equals. They could never be friends, but they can still recognize something in the other that makes them stand apart from the rest. I'm so glad that you like how their characterizations and relationship turned out in this story - it's wonderful to hear it from someone else who likes the ship as much as I do. ^_^


 Report Review

Review #31, by javctYou Get Me?: Failed Attempts

25th September 2012:
This is very different to most next-gen stories. I like it.

You have written this story with a great flow and a good storyline; it's really nice to not see a cliche'd next-gen story with horrible humor and terrible characterisation. This story is different in a really good way.

However, there were a few things that I picked up while reading this. You made a few spelling errors; nothing too major but I feel as though I should point them out :)

"Her think, dark hair falling down my small back" should be "Her thick, dark hair falling down my small back"

Also, I got confused in this story frequently. Mainly about who you were talking about because you used so many 'he's and 'she's, maybe you could add more character's names (e.g. Rose, Lucy, Hermione, Ron) because I started to get really confused. Who is telling the story? sorry if this is really obvious but don't Ron and Hermione only have two children: Rose and Hugo? Lucy is Fluer and Bill's child.

May I suggest getting a beta for this story? They can be very helpful in pointing things out that the author doesn't see, because, let's be honest, how often to we, as author, find flaws and mistakes in our stories? Beta's are extremely friendly and can help you improve your writing a hundred fold!

Happy writing and congrats on a non-cliche'd next-gen story.
Jasmine, x

 Report Review

Review #32, by javctAlone: So alone

25th September 2012:
asdfghjkl;'! are you trying to kill me! You just HAD to give me Sherlock feels in The Ponds Leaving week! That is double the amount of feels that any one person should ever have to deal with! WHY! WHY! WHY! I just have to say that I took a sharp breath in when I saw the words: The Reichenbach Fall.

I liked how you still managed to keep Percy in character because he's still obsessed with his job (I can't comment much on Oliver because I don't know that much about him).

That being said, I feel as though the pace of this story was really fast. I understand that things will fast-paced living with Sherlock!Percy and with you trying to fit two seasons of Sherlock into one one-shot but maybe you could elaborate on things more. There were also a few grammatical errors: spelling mistakes, missing quotation marks, things that you could pick up easily with another quick read through. For example:

"Get. Rid. Of. That. Ridiculas. Cane." shouldn't it be Get. Rid. Of. That. Ridiculous. Cane"?

And I think you may have just missed some quotation marks here:

You don't use magic?'

It makes it less fun.

I will now go and die in both Sherlock&Doctor Who feels.
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: KILL EVERYONE WITH FEELS!

Just kidding, DON'T DIE! You have the Ponds leaving this week, and we must know what happens so afterwards we can fangirl!

I'm glad you liked the story, regardless of all the mistakes, and I'll be sure to take a look through and fix those. :)


 Report Review

Review #33, by javctOur Farewell: Our Farewell

25th September 2012:
This was really poignant.

Putting aside the fact that I never EVER read Song-fics I enjoyed this story immensely. The way you wrote this story was clever and I love how you integrated Lily into the story. It's a headcanon of mine that when Harry died (whatever age that might be) Lily and James were welcoming him with opening arms.

That said, there were a few canon-spelling mistakes in this story. You misspelt Lily's name throughout this story. This is a common mistake, mainly because Lily can spelt two different ways. You spelt Lily: Lilly while it should be Lily :)

Great story!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Well i'm glad I got you not only to read, but to enjoy a song fic ;) And I agree with you that Lily, James and the rest of Harry's lost loved ones would be waiting for him (you know, like it's an airport.. lol)

As far as Lily, yeah, I'm working my way through my old stories fixing little things like that so thanks for the heads up ;)

~Moon~


 Report Review

Review #34, by javctOf Angels and Demons: Chapter 2

25th September 2012:
I could have sworn that I left a review earlier... ah well! I'm here now!

Okay, now that I've (finally) seen Star Wars may I just fan-girl over your casting choice for Riley? Hayden Christensen is the perfect choice for Riley! (he's the perfect choice for everyone!)

Okay, moving on.

I'm really enjoying this so far. I like how you haven't three or four chapters to get into the story-line, it's like: story starts and BANG! there's the amazing storyline that will keep the readers wanting more until the end!

You've already done really well integrating your own characters into the Supernatural world (might i just add I like how it's Supernatural-story line based and not Harry Potter based), I'm curious to see how the rest of the story is going to pan out with extra characters in it. You did an amazing job of it in the first story and I'm sure you'll do another amazing job in the sequel!

Can't wait for the next chapter!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hehe, yes he is. When I went to chose a player for him, Hayden fit the picture in my head perfectly.

Hehe, I'm glad you are liking it. And hey, that's how Supernatural starts and that kind of mood is what I'm aiming for.

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you're curious to see what I have planned. :) thanks for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #35, by javctThe Price of Redemption: The Price of Redemption

25th September 2012:
Wow. Just wow.

I have to compliment you on the originality of this story. In all my time on the forums and this website I've never come across such a story as this. It's unique and something completely different. There are plenty of post-hogwarts fan fictions out there but all of them focus around Lavender Brown and all the trio, I'm really glad that someone remembered Hagrid. He's a character that is usually forgotten about in the wonderful land of fan fiction :D

Characterisation wise, this story was fine. I cannot pick up any mistakes with the characterisation -- I can defiantly see Harry threatening someone for his friend's sake (be it any friend!) and I also adore how you have got Hagrid's speech downpat; now, I have never written Hagrid-dialogue but I have always imagined it to be really hard because of his slight-illiterate problem but you have made Hagrid sound like, well, Hagrid.

Out of the whole story there was only mistake I picked up, and a small typo none the less, here:

"Thanks," be offered weakly as he regained his balance.

Should be

"Thanks," HE offered weakly as he regained his balance.

Just thought I should point that out :D
Happy writing and congratulations on a excellent story!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hi, there!

I'm glad you thought the story was interesting and original. Hagrid's story always seemed like one of the larger holes -- no pun intended -- left over after the end of the books. We know that he's still teaching at Hogwarts 19 years later, but we really don't know anything about what happened to him after the war. We do know that he suffered a terrible injustice at the hands of Tom Riddle, and I always liked to think that things were set right somehow.

I write canon stories. They're pretty much all I write, so I'm really glad that you thought the characterization was good. I went back and forth a few times on Harry's demeanor in this, trying to get it just right. There are a lot of different things that would have tweaked his confidence in one direction or the other after the end of DH, I think. Overall, I think of him as being even more self-conscious about his fame, but also much more assertive about confronting injustices because he knows what a high price was paid to defeat Voldemort.

Writing Hagrid's dialog was hard, so I'm glad you liked it. Whew... ;)

Thanks for pointing out that typo. I'll get in there and patch that up.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #36, by javctDiamonds into Coal: Houses Joined

24th September 2012:
IT'S HAPPY! IT'S HAPPY! THE COUPLE ARE HAPPY! (but for how long?...) As amazing as this story is, I do have to keep reminding myself of its impending doom.

Give me a good wedding scene any day! The wedding was gorgeous; wizard weddings are by far my favourite weddings to read about, they're just so beautiful and in my opinion, this wedding could have been put into a founders story written by JK herself and no one would have known the difference. It was so reminiscent of her writing, but it still had a touch of your style. Beautiful, just beautiful.

Well, we defiantly saw a side of Helena that we don't normally see. It was strange to hear her conforming to "what society thinks" and "what is acceptable". It was strange but I did like how you made her subjected to human emotions (in many stories, characters that are written like Helena never seem to get angry or mad).

I will be anxiously waiting for a update! Great job again!

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: More roller-coaster riding, I see? LOL :)

I'm glad you liked the wedding. I wanted to include some sort of Unbreakable Vow-type bonding spell in there but without toeing too closely to the ToS. I'm happy to hear that you found it fairly graceful and beautiful as is.

She's still a lady in this time period, you know? She definitely does have lots of emotions, and if I write this the way I intend to, you'll see more of them come out later.

Thanks for another awesome review! The next chapter will be posted in only a few days :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #37, by javctDiamonds into Coal: Feats of Bravery

24th September 2012:
I really do love this story! Have I ever mentioned? (I'm sure I have at some point; or maybe in every other review that I've left haha...)

How dare Venn cheat in the joust! I am not surprised with Helena's reaction -- it was... fitting, I however, did not want to see/read her cry :(

I can see Venn's 'other side' coming out. I feel as though this scene is going to come back to me when he *shudders* kills Rowena.

Peverell? Wasn't that the family that originally owned the Deathly Hallows? If so, wonderful canon!

I simply cannot express my love for this story! The dialogue, the actions, the canon, the historical accuracy... it's all just brilliant! Absolutely marvelous.

Onto the next chapter!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry that my response has taken ages!

Good, I'm glad you're angry with him. It's awful to say it, but I love it when a reader expresses feeling those roller-coaster emotions :) I did feel bad making poor Helena cry about it, though.

Yes, that's correct! Peverell will be an interesting force in this story. More about his intentions will be revealed in chapters to come.

Thanks for your lovely review! Keep on eye on Venn--you haven't seen the last of the twists and turns in his characterization quite yet! :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #38, by javctA Cartography of Grief: You Are The Only Map I Know

20th September 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!

Wow. Just wow. This was really poignant; just beautifully written :) I can't say that I've read many Remus/Sirus fan fics (I've read stories where Sirus was in love with James but never read any of these). The ship is really intriguing and I have to say that you've got me shipping yet another ship!

Chronologically, you could easily tell that it was out od order and swapping between points in time. That didn't bother me (I actually quite enjoyed it) the only thing that distracted me from the story, only a tad, was me trying to figure out what time period it was happening in (like the year and what had happened). I do agree with you though: putting dates whenever the time changes would pull the story off its hinges a little bit.

I just have to put this in here; my favourite line: "But I do like Remuses" it just gave me happy feelings and made me smile and laugh :) It was such a good line.

I ADORED the contrast between the happy/bittersweet times and the sad times. It really showed the reader a complete view of their relationship -- I also liked the characterisation of both Sirus and Remus. It was very in character and nothing screamed OOC! The best Sirus-in-character scene (in my opinion) was the scene in the bathroom with Remus (just a question, was that scene during the canon-series? During OotP?)

This is such an amazing story!
Jasmine, x

 Report Review

Review #39, by javctThis is War: This is War

17th September 2012:
Review swap!
Sorry for taking so long, I've been really busy :P

Anyway, this is a really good story, I really like the way that you wrote this. It really rang true the affects of war. My favourite thing about this story would have to be the realism of this story; I've read too many war stories where Lily is perfect and doesn't suffer from mistakes like us mere mortals but she does in this story and it just makes her a much more loveable character.

Great job!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: That's okay! You're here now.

I'm glad you liked it! My goal was definitely to show how war really is, not the way it idealized (if you can even idealize war, does that make sense?). Oh Lily definitely isn't perfect, thats for sure. And I agree, it only makes her a more realistic character.

Thanks for reviewing!

~Cassie


 Report Review

Review #40, by javctRevolution: Chapter Two: Hold Me Tight

17th September 2012:
This story has really good potential; it really does but I do have a few things to pick out with this chapter that didn't quite add up.

Are they on the train to Hogwarts? Or at the Burrow? Or both? Because I honestly thought that they were at The Burrow until Neville walked in and then I was like "Wha?"

Is your story set in an AU world, because Snape is dead and I saw that you mentioned him as a returning teacher in this chapter. Snape got killed by Nagini in the battle

And there was this line: "She had noticed the change in his reactions toward her near the end of term" which also confused me. What exactly do you mean "near the end of term"? Because Harry, Ron and Hermione were all galavanting throughout the UK trying to find Horcruxes for the past year, there wouldn't have been any changes in reactions there if he wasn't around...

There were also one or two grammatical mistakes: missed questions marks, no capital letters -- things everyone screw up on.

Might I suggest, if you haven't already got one, getting a beta for this story? They're super helpful and can help make your story better. Beta's are also really good at picking up little mistakes like I just did, because, let's face it, we never notice plot holes in our own stories! Well, at least I don't...

Feel free to re-request!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: I'm glad we got the fact this this isn't post-war or post-Hogwarrts via PM. Hopefully that clears things up for you and you will be able to enjoy the rest of the story without confusion.

Thanks for the R&R
~Moon~


 Report Review

Review #41, by javctRevolution: Chapter One: Girl

17th September 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!

Interesting start. I really like the realism in this story, because, in most stories post-war the characters suddenly become the most brilliant heros with no trace of their former self, I mean sure, they can shell-shocked from the war but they don't come out without normal teenage problems (maybe even more so) like self-doubt and I ADORED that paragraph when Ron was looking in the mirror. The realism in this story is brilliant! Your imagery, also, is really good.

One thing, however, that did confuse me about this chapter, why did Hermione get so mad at Ron? At first, I thought she was joking but then she was really mad and I got confused... If I may make a suggestion, maybe you could clarify that paragraph better :)

Onto the next chapter!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. And as far as Hermione, chalk it up to teenage hormones. LOL I know I get a bit snippy when someone startles me when I'm reading.. so maybe I injected a bit of myself into Hermione in that scene. ;)

Thanks for the R&R
~Moon~


 Report Review

Review #42, by javctDiamonds into Coal: Midsummer

17th September 2012:
THEY'RE ENGAGED! THEY'RE ENGAGED! THEY'RE ENGAGED! OH MY GOSH, THEIR ENGAGED! This is so sweet!!! ahhh! This can only end badly. Why must the sweetest couples always end badly! James/Lily, Tonks/Remus and now these two! (note to self: I must stop becoming so invested in fictional characters)

I really enjoy the way that characterisation is developing. I like it how there is still some innocence in the characters (mainly Helena). I am really enjoying reading anything to do with Salazar. He's such a hidden character (meaning, in my language: he keeps a lot close to heart). Will we see more of Salazar in the next few chapters? I hope so.

I really like it how you have mixed historical events/places/rituals into your story; it just gives it that more... real feel to it. It makes the story easier to imagine and more believable because of its historical accuracy.

Brilliant story, absolutely marvelous story!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: EEE *jumps around with you* Yes! :D

Oh, gosh, they do. (You're talking to a Snily shipper, remember--I'm quite familiar with romance crashing and burning tragically.) Don't worry; you're in good company. I get more invested in fictional ships than I should.

Helena definitely does have her innocent, I-want-to-be-a-princess side. She still thinks she deserves the royal dream, with the prince and the wedding and the carriage. (And I think she kind of does, too.) Salazar has definitely been interesting to toy with, and never fear, he's not going anywhere. His role shifts more to the background in the chapters to come, but he's still very much there, if you know what I mean.

I'm happy to hear that the historical events don't feel forced. I wanted them to accent the storyline, not take it over and drag down the flow. (Man, I seem to worry about flow a lot, don't I?) Anyway, thanks! Good to hear!

Thanks again for another fantastic review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #43, by javctDiamonds into Coal: Second-Best

17th September 2012:
And so, I ship another ship. I don't normally ship unrequited love shippings (bar Snily) but how can I help but ship these two with the way you have written them?

I especially loved this line: I must ask, good sir, that on this future occasion, you will agree to call me by my name. Do you consent to do so? It made me want to go and re-read Pride&Prejudice again!

Does this story still hold my interest? It never really left my "interest" it's an amazing story that is historically correct (it really annoys me when people write historical novels but it's not historically correct).

Great job!
Onto the next chapter!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: I ship Venn/Helena so hard, so it's wonderful when a reviewer comes to ship them, too :)

I think I had some Pride and Prejudice-esque dialogue in mind when I started writing this era, and I guess it's kind of stuck over the chapters. I was trying to strike a balance between it being so formal that it's almost unreadable (and drags the flow into the ground) and too informal to be realistic. It sounds like I'm doing okay, which is great!

You're very kind. Thanks for another lovely review, and I'm sorry the response took ages!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #44, by javctUnderwater Morgana: A Comfortable Child

17th September 2012:
Back again!

This story defiantly has great potential, though, I am slightly confused. Are we seeing the lead-up to her being evil or are these flashbacks? Also, why is the first paragraphs in italics? Because it is obvious that one day, Morgana will be evil, but why are seeing her at eleven?

Anyway, I am really enjoying your OC, she is really nice and fits in nicely with the rest of the characters -- some people can write OCs but they just don't fit with the Harry Potter fandom, and I like how yours has. She has just the right amount of... charisma (I think that's the best word for it) to survive Fred and George :P

I can't see anything wrong grammatically; I also cannot see any plotholes which is a good thing!!

BUDAPEST! AHHH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY AVENGERS FEELS THAT GIVES ME!

Feel free to re-request!
Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hm.I didn't realize this was confusing, but I suppose I'll have to go back and make it clearer. The main "marketing point", so to say, of the story was her being the next big bad. But the main, eh, emotional ancor is actually her growing into that role as opposed to living it out. There will be flashforwards later on ;) Basically, gonna be one big temoral mess, but maybe I can pull it off, lets see!

I'm glad you think Morgan can survive Fred and George! Makes her a hero already ;)


 Report Review

Review #45, by javctUnderwater Morgana: Not From Around Here

17th September 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!

Sorry for taking so long; I'm in the last two weeks of school for the term so things are a bit hectic :/ Anyway, this story is really intriguing so far. I adored the start, that narration was just amazing (give me anything deep and meaningful and I'll swoon)

I can't comment on characterisation because this is the first chapter -- and almost like a prologue -- but it seems to be heading in the right direction.

You shouldn't worry about the narration, I think it's really good. Narration is a brilliant tool, and, when used correctly, it can ultimately affect the whole story.

Your OC is intriguing; I really like her :) There will be more feedback in the later chapters!

Onto the next chapter,
Jasmine, x
(Also, you used Tom Hiddleston in the banner. I love you!)

Author's Response: Hey Jasmine!

So sorry for the delayed response! Your review was wonderful and I am so glad you felt that the beginning was meaningful and deep :3


 Report Review

Review #46, by javctIn the Distance of Bravery : 2

15th September 2012:
Back again!

Okay, you may or may not have got me shipping these two -- I'm a sucker for a good-written childhood sweetheart story (maybe because I never had one)

Can I steal your talent? Honestly, it's hard to believe that you usually write more serious/angst-y stories. If this was the first story I read of yours, I would never had picked up on it.

As I read on this chapter, I think that it was better that you changed the protagonist because you couldn't have the sweet child-scenes with Rose and Teddy that you had with Teddy and Lucy.

I liked your characterisation of James. It was different to what he is normally portrayed as; I like how he had that Potter/Weasley charm (he reminded me a little of Fred, don't know why) but he didn't overdo (like he didn't think he was God's gift to woman and things like that). An odd joke here and there = a perfect James Potter II.

Just two things that I noticed in this chapter, one, why did they take a car when they, as wizards, could have easily have apparated there and saved a car-wreck and two, where did Scorpius go in the last half of this chapter? Now, those questions may be easily answered and I may have just missed it because I'm almost falling asleep as I type but I thought that I should just point this out :)

Another great chapter, can't wait for another one!

Jasmine! x

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm so happy you liked these two darlings! I love a childhood-sweetheart story, too! It's just so tragic and at the same time SO romantic.

I'm really pleased you liked the not so angsty side to my writing! You have no idea. I've been so hesitant to write anything other than my usual stuff, so this was such a relief.

I'm happy you liked James. He's such a gem. I think that's where the problem lies with some writers: overdoing characters. I really wanted to make him normal, but with a twist. (and trust me, he's got a MAYOR twist).

They took a car because Lucy doesn't apparate (she hasn't taken the test). It was mentioned in the previous chapter. She refuses to even side-along-apparate. Plus, she likes to have a chance to escape = Betty (aka. her precious car). Scorpius was by the car, watching Darren sweat. (YUM). Hah, I've just added a bit with him just now, I guess you're right he went missing a bit after greeting Darren. Thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot.

-- Emma xx


 Report Review

Review #47, by javctIn the Distance of Bravery : 1

15th September 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!

This is very different to your normal stories. I like it. Most writers have a special type of genre that they write better than others (romance, angst etc.) but there is a small minority that are just really talented in everything they do: you're in that small minority. Honestly, I am really enjoying this so far (and I usually detest humor; give me angst!)

I can see why you would have had to change the protagonist though (with an eight year difference, though that doesn't seem like such a big age gap to me), anyway! I strangely like this pairing, I don't even know why. I don't give much thought into next-gen pairings, truthfully, I don't even know many (except for, of course, ScoRose) but this pairing is different, and I like different,

Cliche's, hmm, the only cliche that stood out for me was that Scorpius was gay; it's not cliche'd that he is gay but because she has a gay best friend. I didn't really pick up any more cliche's, because I don't find her working for a magazine cliche'd, for me, it's only cliche'd if he worked with her and she was swooning over him behind closed door (which thankfully, your story DID NOT do)

As you can probably tell, I tend to ramble in my reviews (it also doesn't help that I'm tired :P) Onto the next chapter!

Jasmine

Author's Response: Hi there!

I know, it's SO different - and challenging! But somehow I like writing this? It's easy. But I do have the occasional urge to write some good old angst and I'll write a oneshot just to get it out of my system, hah. I'm glad you liked it. My readers haven't ever read anything like this by me before so I was a bit nervous about all of this. This pleases me to no end.

I love Lucy too. She's not really appreciated in the fanfiction world, yet somehow she really spoke to me. I had some help from TGS when I was trying to figure out who to replace Rose and she was just perfect. I wanted something different, which was also a reason why I chose to replace Rose. I haven't read that many NextGen stories so I thought Rose/Ted was an unusual pairing, but apparently everyone's done one? That kind of put me off it, too. That's why I didn't want to do a Vic/Ted or a Dom/Ted. I wanted something different and with Lucy I got it!

I know... I've been thinking about it, but I'm trying to make him not as gay gay as some people do with gay people. It's hard. I have a gay friend and he loves the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and High School Musical and he's a stylist. So in my head that's who I see when I see Scorpius. On the other hand, some of his boyfriends... my oh my. Some are gorgeous and totally manly and all. I'm trying very hard to waver from the all stereotypical image of gays. And no, Lucy is NOT pining for Scorpius hah.

I love rambles - this response was a total ramble. Thank you so much for your review! It was a great help.


 Report Review

Review #48, by javctDating for Idiots: bowties.

13th July 2012:
I read this story a few days ago and forgot to review, so here I am! To review!

I do love a good Percy&Audrey story (side note: AH! Arthur Darvill is the perfect Percy *runs away to put him under faceclaim* and Karen will always be Audrey/Lily Evans to me)

There aren't enough Percy&Audrey stories in the archives *sad face* Ariellem writes some amazing ones and now I've found you! (I also read when Percy met Audrey) *throws fist into the air*

Back to the story. This story is brilliant so far. I'm not usually one to read humour stories (love me some angst) but this was brilliant (it even made me laugh which is an accomplishment in stories) The way you wrote this was perfect and the other side almost-ships you had were amazing as well (Are you hinting at Pen&Oliver? Because if that happens, then I will love you forever!)

*story favourited, author favourited* Can't wait for the next chapter! PS: I am sorry for my ramblings, I'm very tired.

Jas

Author's Response: AHH! :D Okay, first, thanks for the lovely review, and thanks so much for taking the time to write it :)

I love Percy/Audrey too, and they're so underrated! Hahah I love Arthur Darvill. And no, there aren't enough :(

Thank you so much, it really makes me glad that you actually laughed, because I never do, so that's really awesome. Thank you for liking it and reviewing it, you're amazing.

THANK YOU and I love you, and I love your ramblings and they're totally okay. THANKS :)

*secretly fangirling over your review*


 Report Review

Review #49, by javctReliving: Task One Challenge: Reliving: Task One Challenge

13th July 2012:
TAG!!

I adored this! Any Cho&Cedric centered story. They were just so beautiful together and all of this fics (even if it was only for a sentence) had its bittersweet moments. This was no different; that paragraph about the things Cho remembered about Cedric. beautiful (to say the least).

Shamefully, I haven't read many House Cup stories (GO 'CLAWS!) but from the ones I have read, this one is my favourite so far.

Just one thing, is this an elaborate dream? Or a memory? Or one of those weird-physic dreams/memories some people have when they're going through trauma (they experience other people's memories)?

(Okay, I don't know where I pulled that last one out of...)

Because of Cedric's wand just... appearing, and then the golden egg (why did she have it? This, however, may just be entirely obvious and I'm just missing it because I'm so tired) and then the last line as well.

Was/Is she going through some-weird-form of the Triwizard tournament? Okay, I'll stop with the theories now but I really enjoyed this story. You wrote it beautifully! *favourited*

Author's Response: Thanks! Cho and Cedric are just an adorable couple... it's such a shame we didn't see much of them in the books and that every time we did see them it was coloured by Harry's jealousy... Oh well. Thank you so much!

Gosh, really? Thank you so much!

Mm... a lot of other people have asked me if this is actually real or not. Honestly, I wrote it assuming that it was real, that it was all actually happening, but I'm just going to be annoying and say you can choose to look at it however you like ;)

Cedric's wand was the one she was holding in her hand first, and the egg was just a metaphor, lol. Don't worry about it - it is kinda ambiguous. That's what happens when I write one-shots in two hours or so... :P

Thank you so so much for this lovely review! :)

Aph xx


 Report Review

Review #50, by javctHis Pack of Four: Chapter 1

13th July 2012:
Review swap!

I don't think I've ever read a Remus-transformation story before *racks brain* No, I haven't. I really liked this - the imagery in this was really good; I think that you left /just/ the right amount to the readers imagination.

I think that you got the characterisation for McGonagall and Remus spot on. I would comment on the Marauders but they were in their animagus forms. Now, speaking about that, correct me if I'm wrong (which I very well may be, I've had a long night and I'm half asleep as I type this) but didn't the Marauders become Animagus's AFTER they discovered that Remus was a wolf (because didn't he end up telling them?) and then they decided to go and join him? Then again, I may be completely wrong and maybe lack of sleep is finally catching up on me :P

Apart from that it was really good. Onto the next chapter! *holds a daring sword and charges on to the next page of the internet on a unicorn* Yeah, I blame the lack of sleep.

Author's Response: Heya! Sorry for the late response.

Thanks for the review swap! I'm glad that you liked McGonagall's personality along with Remus. She's definitely hard to get down. JKR never really clarified when exactly the Marauders became animagi, really. I liked them surprising Remus as a way of showing him that they support him rather than being scared of him. They had no idea how Remus was going to react if they told him that they knew...so they kept his secret for years until they were ready to accompany him for the first time. So I hope that answers yours question! XD

Thanks for the review!!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>