Reading Reviews From Member: ad astra
  
352 Reviews Found

Review #51, by ad astraUnravel. : Millicent.

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Erin. Erin this is amazing oh man

This is so haunting and so different to the last two stories, but so uniquely yours as well - the mental illness, again, and the chilling quality that you pull off so well, and this was next-level brilliant and so unexpected. I was expecting something that would make me feel sorry for Millicent, especially with this line That’s not to say you didn’t have any feelings. There were those times when your cousins would come for a visit, and call you names that would tear through your skin but you took this in a completely different direction.

There's something so sinister in the fact that Hermione's Polyjuice cat hair came from Millicent's robes in light of what you've written here. I don't know whether you're depicting schizophrenia or psychosis or something entirely different - I'm not an expert - but you've done it so well and I cannot get over how well second person works for this story. It's absolutely perfect. Sometimes second person POV can seem gimmicky, but you couldn't have made a better choice here. The synergy between your language and content is amazing.

This is so incredible I can't even deal

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Review #52, by ad astraUnravel. : Blaise.

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

ERIN ERIN ERIN ERIN ERIN ERIN ERIN

ERIN

i don't even have an excuse for that i just love this chapter so much has anyone told you recently that you're an amazing writer i mean they probably have but i feel the need to reiterate

i love your Blaise. he's so cold and formal and his upbringing as a pureblood is just threaded throughout his voice, but there's such a tenderness in the way he talks about Theo as well and sweet Salazar you know how to turn a phrase. It was a gradual process, like a fire being cradled from a single flame. All I remember is when I first noticed just how dark your eyes are. So dark, they seem soulless, causing a chill to run deep into my bones, making me shudder and gasp in wonder. They are an exhilarating sight to behold - scary, yet, so unbelievably captivating at the same time. But of course, my reactions to those are invisible to anyone else; hidden deep within layers of untold secrets. You may call me a coward, a deceiver, but we all know bravery isn’t a trait we commend ourselves for. your depictions of Slytherin House are the literal best and I feel so proud to be a Snake right now??

relishing her chance to show me just how intense a single encounter could be. This line is incredible. actually that whole section is incredible but I probably couldn't get away with quoting the rest. how are you so good at this

#erinfanclub2k15

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Review #53, by ad astraUnravel. : Pansy.

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I can tell why you're sending everyone who dislikes SuD-verse Pansy to this story, because this explains so much about her behaviour - especially towards Draco. My heart absolutely broke for her in this and knowing that Draco will, eventually, end up with Astoria just kills me even more. I feel so so bad for her right now

I feel like you've been told this a hundred million times but your depiction of mental illness is so so good here - OCD and bulimia? and the way you've tied them both together with Pansy's relentless pursuit of perfection, the role her relationship with her mother plays in that, and the constant refrain of Pansy Parkinson. Designer. Future Malfoy. Proper, perfect, Pureblood. is just so perfect. You've lifted Pansy from canon -the way she behaves around Draco, especially in HBP - as well as SuD and everything she does makes so much sense. And her relationship with Draco breaks my heart. I would never have thought I would think this about Pansy Parkinson but I just want to wrap her in a blanket and give her a hug and say "babe you are worth so much more than this"

erin you're destroying me

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Review #54, by ad astraTurbulence: Chapter 1

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

ERIN ILY

This chapter tho. I love Astoria with every fibre of my being, she's so bold and compassionate and unflinching in her ideals, and taking Pooja under her wing the way she did just melts my heart. The more you build up her backstory in here, the more everything she does in Sturm und Drang makes sense, and you've obviously put so much thought into her characterisation and it just shines here.

And your worldbuilding YES i love your worldbuilding and the moment i saw your story I was excited about the prospect of you creating a new wizarding school and you did not disappoint. especially the bit about the magical signature and the wall talking to the wand to make sure it was being held by its owner - I love this kind of detail. and the inscriptions? and i can't wait to find out more about the Scripting class and all the other classes that are different from Hogwarts and the animagi class??? I'm such a sucker for magical schools

I'm interested in the way the wizarding war has infiltrated even the American school with those boys being supporters of You Know Who and Astoria's parents warning her that he's back, and i'm looking forward to seeing how that continues to affect her school life as the war in England plays out. i'm just looking forward to the rest of this story in general, so you should update it *nods*

you're the greatest

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Review #55, by ad astraTurbulence: Prologue

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Erin erin erin erin erin erin erin i am SO EXCITED you got me invested in Sturm und Drang and now there's a companion fic about my bae Astoria YAAAS

REAL TALK THO this story showcases what I love about your writing. You do mental health like nobody else in the world and your passion for it and familiarity with it shines in this story. And you have an uncanny affinity for the unusual and the unsettling, like this bit: Fifteen minutes later, the two women found Ana lying on the ground, red welts beginning to form where the sun caressed her skin. And Tori kept running and running, past the still form of her best friend who lay on the little jutting stones, focused on the game where she would run, and Ana would follow. I honestly thought Ana was dead reading this, because of the haunting sense you imbued the scene with, and even though she's not you've left this lingering feeling of wrongness and it's just so good.

Your depiction of the Greengrass family is so perfect as well - the subtle ways that mental health issues affect a family as well as the big ones, the way you've shown the level of desperation they reach and the cruelty of shipping Astoria off to America in order to not "compromise" Hector's ideals...I can see the Astoria of Sturm und Drang here and especially her motivations for opening a rehabilitation centre.

tl;dr you are a goddess and I love this

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Review #56, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Sensed

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I sigh and tune out Pansy’s jabbering while I look around the dimly lit area. Draco is such a loving and attentive partner. I can see why all the girls swoon over him. What a fine specimen of man. Pansy is so blessed

a typical Gryffindor prank. Those losers never have a sense of actual creativity, always playing the same pranks and making the same jokes. I would have to plug my ears permanently if I was to join the England team with such idiots on it. Sure, they’d fly well, but I wouldn’t be able to listen to their chatting without throwing up every time. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve given up on the idea of ever being a part of that team. this gives me a Lot of Emotions because look at Draco trying to convince himself that no, he would never want to be part of England's team at all ever, they're a bunch of losers and he totally doesn't want to be one of them

oh wow this is FANTASTIC. DRACO AND PANSY IN A FITTING ROOM goodness gracious, Draco, what would your mother think? And all to get away from a polite conversation with your sort-of-boss Draco you are an adult. Supposedly. I love him he's so useless and terrible

She glances at me and catches my eyes on her as I try to figure her out. Her ideas puzzle me, her attitude about life so different to any other Pureblood I know. She's much nicer as well, weirdly enough. But she's a smart one, quite devious. Astoria Greengrass is going to be an interesting character to work with your crush is showing, Draco. find your chill

Erin I love this story and I love you please keep writing it yes

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Review #57, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Oppositions

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

OH SNAP

apparently Astoria roasting Draco turns me into a crowing frat boy? i'm sorry

I love this chapter so much and I'm going to give you a list of reasons why: 1) Astoria roasting Draco. i live for this now it's amazing 2) Sly innuendos. I see what you did there 3) Draco is such a terrible person this is amazing. it gives me life he's just so unapologetically, obliviously awful. Summoning his house elf to do his community service for him and barging into Nott's counselling session and that line of Thanks, but I’m not weak. I don’t get affected and I don’t need help. There's bad boys and then there's awful people and Draco falls squarely into the second category. I can't wait for all the juicy character development you've got in store for him through this story, Erin. I'm rubbing my hands in glee at the very thought of it.

I love Astoria more with every chapter. She's such a boss and I'm so glad she's taking Draco down a peg or two because lord knows he needs it

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Review #58, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Cornered

28th June 2015:
Slytherin House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

First things first: Raine Renault's Robes for the Rich. I want to revel in this store name for a moment. I want to bask in the opulence and the ostentatiousness and the beautiful visual this store name creates. I love it. 10/10

The head of this organization, Astoria Greengrass, should be easy enough to win over. After all, I am Draco Malfoy. Even as a pardoned Death Eater, I make women swoon, as the Prophet is kind enough to bring to my attention every other day. I laughed out loud at this. This is Draco at his arrogant best. My problematic fave, my darling. I love him and you write him so well.

n elderly couple enters the room, hand in hand, looking frail, their eyes gaunt. They glance at me, and looks of hatred appear instantaneously on their faces. They quickly move to sit as far away from me as possible, conspicuously placing their wands on their respective laps. This is another example of what I already love about this story - your portrayal of the post-war world, and the setting of a rehabilitation centre for war victims only strengthens that. Draco is still convinced that his donation will be all that's required to restore the family name to its former glory, and he's obviously at the bottom of a steep learning curve when Astoria rejects his suggestion.

(Astoria, by the way. I love her here. I can't wait to read more of her)

Onwards!

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Review #59, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Freedom

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

ERIN ERIN ERIN HI HELLO I AM CAMPING OUT ON YOUR PAGE LIKE I SAID I WOULD

Post-war stories about Draco are my fave. Well, I have a lot of faves, but post-war stories are definitely up there and I am so excited for this! I love how you open with the news article - it really sets the scene for what the post-war wizarding world is like and the kind of scrutiny and infamy Draco will be facing.

You've captured his voice really well here too - young, a bit contemptuous, struggling with the new rules he's finding society operating under (constantly having to stop himself from saying 'mudblood' is a nice touch) and I like the concept of community service as well - it's not something I see people include in the wizarding world very often, but there's got to be some options in the justice system that go beyond sending people to Azkaban. And non-profit and charity organisations are, again, something I don't see much of - I think in canon there's that donation fountain for St Mungo's and that's about it - and I really appreciate the worldbuilding you've done even in this chapter. Support groups for Muggleborns to help them fit into society is another awesome idea. And a rehabilitation centre for victims of the war? yes. Sign me up.

Can't wait to read on, and an awesome opening chapter!

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Review #60, by ad astraCreperum: Chapter Two: The Child

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

This is another intriguing chapter - and your description throughout is amazing. You evoke the scene of the Potters' house and the destruction really well, as well as Rebecca's raw emotion at finding Lily and baby Harry. I love the interaction between Rebecca and Harry as well - her desperation to keep him, and the cruel irony that he's being taken away by wizards to be raised by the Dursleys - “He belongs with his kind, Rebecca!” Amadeus cut her off, fighting to pry her hands off Harry. Their voices never raised above a loud whisper. Rebecca’s heart was breaking as she fought to hold onto the crying child. “They’ll take care of him, you’ll see.” Oh no they won't

I'm so interested in who Rebecca and Amadeus are and their links to James and Harry - they're obviously Muggles, and not James's bioogical parents - where do they fit in? I'm hooked on this story now, nicely done!

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Review #61, by ad astraCreperum: Chapter One: Anguish

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hi Selene! I decided to stop by and check out this project of yours!

This was a really good opening chapter - I love your depiction of high wizarding society and the ball Rebecca and Amadeus were attending, especially the ladies dripping in their glittering jewels and fine evening gowns and the gentlemen with their cigars, reminiscing of old times long gone - it evokes such a strong image of privilege and wealth and Respectable Society, and you contrasted that really well with Rebecca's behaviour and the shock of the Potters' place at Godric's Hollow after Voldemort's attack.

This chapter raises a lot of intriguing questions as well - I feel like I should recognise the name Amadeus? - but Rebecca's relationship to the Potters and to James is one of the biggest questions raised of this chapter and I'm really interested to find out who she is - and how she had such a strong physical reaction to James's death. This chapter sets up your story really well in tone and invites interest in the story itself.

Awesome start and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes!

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Review #62, by ad astraL'optimisme: Württemberg

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I don't know what it says about me that the more I read this story, the more I love Gellert and the more I look forward to reading his chapters. The Dark Lord and malevolent dictator, perpetrator of war crimes and what can only be described as a reign of terror throughout Europe, and you make him a poet who loves watching the snow fall. File that under: things I should not find oddly heartwarming.

Work was calling; no doubt there would be time to ruminate on declarations of love made by silent admirers once I had installed a new world order. I love this line so much I can't even express to you how much I love this line

The will of the people is a powerful thing, Albus, as no doubt you know now. On it, empires rise and fall, politicians cast their souls, and the whims of God are made clear. I love this line for entirely different reasons. This story is in every way testament to your abilities as a linguist and a historian as well as a writer, down to the simple fact that you created the Codex Alaricium for this chapter. The authenticity of your setting is incredible and it adds so much depth and vibrancy to the story.

Author's Response: Hi again, Lisa! :D Thank you so much for stopping by - it's been so so amazing getting these reviews, especially from you, and I'm just so incredibly grateful for them, so thank you! :)

Thank you! :D It is one of those things - he's quite a fun character to write because opinions on him vary so differently - some people like him, some people still hate him. It's something I love about writing him - it makes it much more interesting to see what responses you get from things, if people change their minds and things. And yeah, I really, really didn't want to leave him as a kind of 2D Dark Lord figure, and for some reason poetry seemed to suit him - words in general are his sort of thing, though. I'm so glad you like it, though! :) Sometimes things which seem to make sense to me don't seem to make sense to other people :P

Gah, thank you! :) Gellert has his priorities sorted, for sure :P

Thank you so so much! I seem to say this so often in your review responses, but I'm just so blown away by your comments I'm just lost for words most of the time, so thank you! Languages and history are two of my favourite things and two hobbies as well as areas of interest, and a lot of that does feed into this, and I just love that you like that. (The Codex Alaricium came from law classes, though - not in name, but in form, sort of? :P)

Thank you so so much for the amazing set of reviews, they've been so so incredible to get, and I'm so so grateful for every one I've got, so thank you so much! :)

Aph xx


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Review #63, by ad astraL'optimisme: Similes

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

It was in this chapter that I realised how much I love the way you've structured this story, opening with reflections and moving into flashbacks. There's something oddly endearing about Albus's flashbacks in particular, and it gives the whole story a unique tone of reflection.

Quite probably they would laugh, my darling, and you mustn’t blame them for it: the Dark Arts and poetry are hardly ordinary bedfellows. I love this line so much. I shouldn't find anything endearing about the terror of Europe, former dictator and Dark Lord, but honestly? Bless his irretrievably dark, twisted and yet unashamedly nerdy soul. I love Grindelwald. What has this story done to me that I'm saying that?

Christmas aesthetics. I feel truly blessed. Thank you for this

Where you were Germanic steel, beautiful and strong and unyielding, he was light and eager and so very pliable beneath my hands. I love this line so much. Germanic steel. Your imagery is flawless.

10/10 as always. I'm in love with your writing this is a problem

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! :) Thank you so much for stopping by (again :P) - it's the most amazing run of reviews! :)

Gah, thank you so much! :) It was a strange sort of way to structure it for me - I wrote the first section of the first chapter and wasn't sure whether or not to include it, really, but left it in in the end - especially because I know I struggle with substance in chapters, and it felt a lot like avoiding that. I'm just so glad you like it! :)

I would say I'm sorry, but I'm actually just really happy, haha. I had a really solid view of Gellert when I started writing this, and I really wanted to make it less a clear-cut, good v evil, thing, so I'm so glad you like him, since that means I've kinda succeeded? Maybe... :P And yes, he is very nerdy. Though I wouldn't tell him that ;)

I had to write a Christmas chapter at some point! :P Gah, you're welcome - I loved writing it, so I'm just glad you liked it! :)

(Funny story: I was doing a lot of EU Business stuff at the time, and they always used to use the example of German steel for it. So that's sort of how that came about :P)

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review - it was amazing to get, really! Thank you! :)

Aph xx


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Review #64, by ad astraL'optimisme: Bulgaria

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

This.

This is stunning writing. I don't know how you manage it but every chapter of this story has been impossibly better than the last, and your depiction of Gellert here is incredible. Absolutely chilling, terrifying in its intensity and remorselessness, and so brilliantly done.

I want the memories of that place, the blood and the tears and the power I poured into that land to come back to me; I want it to possess me again, I want to feel it wrap around me and fill me until I choke on it.

I want the thrill of being unstoppable again.


This gave me chills, there's no other way of putting it, and I'm just in awe of your talent here. Gellert's euphoria at finding the Elder Wand, the sense of invincibility which echoes through every word - this is phenomenal writing.

that as much as I might have been the dawn, you were the sunset. This is such an incredible line to end on. I sound like a stuck record but your writing is absolutely mindblowing and this chapter goes above and beyond anything I expected.

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! :D Okay, okay, you're going to have to forgive me on this one because I really have absolutely no idea how on earth I'm going to respond to this properly. English has abandoned me (I joke, but seriously, there are no words *hug*).

I really, really love writing Gellert. Well, both of them really, but there's something almost freeing about writing someone who just doesn't care and is so unapologetic about the way he is and what he enjoys and the things he does and has done. It's so much fun, and I liked getting the chance in this chapter to show him being, well, a bit more of a dark lord :P

Thank you so so much - this was a scene I knew I had to write from the beginning, and I looked forward to it so much, even though it wasn't very far in, so I'm just so so glad you liked it, really :)

It's strange, actually, because that's one of the few lines I've ever written before the rest of the chapter :P I just liked the metaphor too much - I like colours and references to colours, so it sort of came from there :)

Thank you so so much for the incredible review, and I'm really sorry for the awful response in return :)

Aph xx


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Review #65, by ad astraL'optimisme: Words

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I said I need to stop complimenting you on your writing ability and incredible use of language and then I see that incredible Dobby-winning quote which is even more incredible in context. I could read the opening section of this chapter over and over again until it sinks into my very soul. I could get a tattoo of some of these lines, that's how incredible they are. I don't think any review can really do justice to the sheer beauty of your words so I'll move on to the story itself.

Your evocation of the turn of the 20th century is beautiful here, and I have to say I'm in love with the sheer aesthetic of this story, Europe at the dawning of a new era, Albus and Gellert at the centre of it, tragedy and grief and pain juxtaposed with celebration and hope. It's perfect.

I just want one moment of Albus glibly talking about his beautiful blonde boy. Just one. It would make my entire life. Embrace scandal, Albus Dumbledore.

I could talk about aesthetics with the Flamels and alchemy and Albus's slow, gradual return to happiness until Christmas but I'll leave it at the simple fact that I want to immerse myself completely in the world you've created here.

Author's Response: Lisa! :D Thank you so much for dropping by again (I have no idea how you're managing to review this of all things - which is so long and so heavy and so slow - for TAR, so thank you so much for that!)! :)

Gah, thank you so much! :) I really love writing this fic (though there are bits in it I still hate, if I'm honest), so I'm just so glad you like it - especially the little exposition-y bits at the beginning of each chapter since I was so nervous about those - and still am each time I post. Wah, you're amazing and you're making me blush saying these things, you know? :) Thank you so so much!

Thank you! :D I really, really loved writing the turn of the century - especially because it's such a coincidental time, them meeting just before it and being split when they had so many plans and so on. Especially when everyone around them was so hopeful of a bright new future and so many new theories were coming out/being developed... it's a time I love in history, so I had to include it and try and do it justice in here :)

Mahaha, maybe. Maybe :P I'm very tempted to have a drunk confession-type scene, but I'm not sure how it would work... (a one-shot? Maybe? :P) Poor boy, he would, but he's too terrified too :( Societal prejudices and all that jazz...

Mah, I loved the alchemy stuff! And the Flamels! :D So I'm so happy you liked it too! :)

Thank you so so much for the amazing review, as always! :) Really, I'm just so so glad you like this! :)

Aph xx


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Review #66, by ad astraL'optimisme: Wales

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hi Laura! I feel like I should have read and reviewed more of this story ages ago because it's permanently on my to-read list, but I'm back for chapter 2 at last!

I've already told you that I absolutely adore your writing style and I should probably stop repeating myself in every review I leave you, but just to reiterate - your prose is gorgeous and I could happily read it for the next hundred years.

I'm not sure what I expected of Gellert's POV but you've surprised me here with him - all we know of him from canon is the great-evil-dark-wizard-bet-on-world-domination, but you've made him incredibly complex, sympathetic and loving in a way I didn't expect. I've kind of always viewed the Albus/Gellert relationship as Albus placing Gellert on a pedestal, Patroclus and Achilles, but Gellert places Albus on the very same pedestal and I really love the way you've constructed their relationship here.

The passage about exploring the world stuck out to me as well - I love the subtle magical twists you put into the various wonders of the world, like seeing phoenixes in flight at dawn and curses carved into the Great Wall of China - it's such a rich world you're creating around them.

I could (and would) write so much more for this review but time is of the essence! Onto chapter 3!

Author's Response: Hey Lisa! :) Thank you so much for stopping by - it was such a great surprise to get! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! :) It is just so so amazing to hear - I love your writing, as you know, so especially from you - and really, I just have no other way to respond to it apart from 'THANK YOU THANK YOU' :)

Haha, thanks! :D I had a lot of time to think about how I wanted to characterise him and develop him before I really started this, since I had two gos at doing it properly :P I really wanted to cast him as a kind of dark lord separate from Voldemort and the whole completely-evil sphere, especially because, you know, Albus Dumbledore manages to fall in love with him, which sorta suggests he's not totally insane? Maybe? :P And I liked the idea of this kind of mutual adoration/admiration which is then destroyed because of fear and self-hatred and so on - load up the angst, you know? :P

Thank you! :D I love including little details like that, so it's so great to hear you noticed them and liked them too! :) I love the idea of a whole magical world - it's so cool to me - so I had to include a little nod to that :)

Thank you so so much for the review - it was so lovely to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #67, by ad astraThe Last Snowy Feather: Biding Her A Silent Farewell

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hi Alishya! This is such a bittersweet story and you've done an amazing job with the conflict of emotion here - the grief and the comfort shared between Harry and Hermione was really well done. I love that you've explored what Hedwig's death means for Harry - like you said in your author's note, it wasn't really touched on in DH and the loss of Hedwig was a really momentous thing for him. I like how you describe exactly how Hedwig helped Harry and her role in connecting him to the wizarding world - both physically through carrying letters as well as simply being a friend to him while he was stuck at the Dursleys'. I think it's easy to forget just how important she was to him both as a friend and as a reminder of a world where he had value and people who loved him. Your depiction of Harry and Hermione's relationship was also really well done here - whether you view them as romantic or platonic, there's such a strong connection between them and I love how Hermione knew exactly how to help Harry say his farewells to Hedwig and to help him move on. This was a really lovely, touching piece!

Author's Response: Hi Lisa!


Thank you so much for your lovely words. I'm very happy you enjoyed reading this too!

I was (or at least) still am happy to have wrote this, as I, many others, and you even said it, Hedwig's death was a pivotal moment for the beginning of the end of the series. For Rowling to have skipped over Harry grieving over her... it was like hitting me with a truck.


I'm also glad you enjoyed the interaction between Harry and Hermione too! Yeah, I really believe Hermione was the right person to help Harry move on, and it's great that you saw how I went with it.



Thanks for reading and reviewing!



- Asphodel


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Review #68, by ad astraStrangers in the End: Where is Home

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hi Alishya! I haven't read any of your work before but I'm pumped to use this HC as an excuse to camp out on your AP for a bit.

This is such a heartbreaking fic - I don't know what it is about the loss of memory that makes any story a hundred times sadder, but this one packs such a punch. I've always wondered about Hermione's relationship with her parents after the war and the impact of her memory charm on their relationship and you've done an amazing job with this - I love your take on it despite the heartache.

That one moment of breakthrough was beautifully done - the contrast between the formal "Mrs Weasley" and her mother finally calling her Hermione again, and the moments of connection throughout the piece are wonderful - Hermione and her mother having the same bushy hair, and that line He said you were the daughter we never had is so bittersweet. The use of second person really adds to the impact of this piece as well and you've pulled the whole tone off really well. The last line In the end, you’re still a stranger pulls the whole story together and leaves a strong lasting impression. Fantastic story!

Author's Response: Hey Lisa!


You're right, you're right. When it comes to memory loss cases, the fact that the person you love doesn't have a spec of familiarity with you, even though yourself have tons of memories with that person... and you spent mostly your whole life with each other. it's like a part of you goes missing too. The person lost a piece of you of what you gave them. Not sure if that makes sense.


I'm glad you said I did good with this take, because I was nervous when I wrote this, and I had to force myself to not-not write this one-shot.


Thank you so much for the wonderful points you made. And I'm happy you enjoyed reading this!



Thanks for reading and reviewing!



- Asphodel


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Review #69, by ad astraWaltz: Waltz

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Tanya! I have to admit I feel really self-conscious reviewing this story about eighteen months after I actually read it, especially because it left such an impression on me at the time, but I'm a bit useless at reviewing in general. But I can tell you straight off that eighteen months later I still remember this story like I read it yesterday, and it's remained in my consciousness like few other stories ever have.

This story is an incredible piece of writing - I said in my last review that this was the first story I read on HPFF that deals with mental illness, and you do it with such honesty and poignancy that it's impossible not to be moved by it. Your writing is perfect for this story, the way your language reflects Rose's mental state and the repetition of words, one, two, three throughout. The waltz threads itself in a perfect rhythm throughout this entire piece and it's beautifully done.

Your handling of OCD is so, so good. The scene with Rose's dorm mates being frustrated with her is amazing, and the lines - They have no idea how desperately she tries on their behalf to quell each seemingly pointless urge. They try to understand her need to pace and count and count and pace, but can never truly grasp just how very much this is not her choice - these lines killed me when I first read them and they kill me again now. It's that kind of insight that sets this story apart from any other story on the archives, and it's not until now I'm rereading it and reviewing it that I realised exactly how much this story impacted me when I first read it.

Everything about this story is so important - Rose's OCD, Scorpius's stutter, the way they help each other and Most of all she likes that he makes her feel almost normal. The romance between them is sweet and perfect, but your representation of mental illness is what really shines in this story and it is everything. I can't overstate its importance and I'm sorry I took eighteen months to leave this review, but thank you so much for writing and sharing this, Tanya.

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Review #70, by ad astraTabula Rasa: One

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review: Slytherin

Nathan! I admit, I was sucked in by the Latin. And the summary. And Colin Creevey? Anyway.

I really hope you continue with this story because I am so intrigued by it already and it promises to be amazing. This was such a good opening chapter - you evoke the Battle of Hogwarts and the sense of wartime so well here and it's only the promise that you're going to bring Colin back that stops this chapter from being completely heartwrenching. The relationship between Colin and Dennis is really well done here - Bouts of nostalgia had hit Colin, thoughts of bunk beds and whispering during storms, sweet memories of taking care of his brother - this was a really good insight, as well as the fact that Dennis is normally the stronger one, and the theme you thread throughout this chapter of Colin fighting for Dennis. Your final line about Colin hoping his brother and father will forgive him for leaving them is so poignant and heartbreaking, and I'm already hoping this story will end with a reunion.

Your evocation of battle is brilliantly done in this chapter as well. It takes effort not to fall back onto the ground; maybe if he plays dead they'll leave him be. But that's a coward talking and he isn't a coward. this line kills me because he's a child, a scared hurting child in the middle of a war and he's so determined to be brave. Poor Colin. Please keep writing this because I refuse to accept him being dead okay

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Review #71, by ad astraFeel Again: Feel Again

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Tanya! This was an incredible account of a single moment and you've done a really good job of capturing it. You have a real talent for this stream-of-consciousness, in-the-moment writing and you've captured the urgency and panic of the scene really well.

The final scene for this story was really heartwarming as well - the contrast between the worry and the panic of James's accident and injury and the gathering of students from all houses to cheer for him and wish him well is really well done, and the inclusion of the Slytherin Quidditch team among the well-wishers is a nice touch.

I like your inclusion of paralysis as well - I don't see a lot of depiction of disability on the archives and it's something that makes your writing stand out to me (Waltz was the first story I saw on HPFF that dealt directly with mental illness) and I would be really interested in an expansion of this one-shot if you were to ever write one. Awesome idea and beautifully written!

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Review #72, by ad astralove and lycanthropy and other institutions: institutionalisation

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I'm sorry that me camping out on your AP for a bit means I'm going to keep telling you how amazing your prose is and probably getting very repetitive in the process but your writing really is stunning. Your imagery is flawless and effortless and a genuine joy to read, and I would quote all the lines that stand out to me but I would definitely be here until midnight and end up quoting your entire story back to you

I love your Marauders, and the way you've evoked the world of the first wizarding war - the phoenix on Lily's robes, or the politically-charged meetings she holds - this is such good detail and you build up the setting in such a subtle and believable way.

Your motifs, though. The use of institutionalisation is amazing throughout this story, from the Marauders' banter to the description of lycanthropy (Nature always follows its own laws. The Institution is a systematic beast - God, you have such incredible lines in this story. I need to stop gushing) and even Remus's character - Because Remus always agrees, says yes, wants to be liked and accepted and patted on the back – “Good old Remus!” or “Isn’t Moony a sport?” – wants to always be a part and not a whole, institutionalised, Sirius might say if he bothered to analyse all his flaws - I love this so much. I love it more and more with every paragraph I read and your writing is just so impressive.

I now kind of regret reviewing this for the HC because I could easily spend two or three hours just reading this story and crafting the perfect review in response to it - I've written 2000 word essays on pieces of literature that have impressed me less than this did and I will definitely be back to read it over and over again, but for now - thank you for writing and sharing this story, it's incredible.

Author's Response: Hi again, Lisa! ♥

I know you're a big Remus/Sirius fan, and I was so happy when I saw that you'd reviewed this fic and left such positive and amazing comments. For this particular story of mine, I'm always looking for feedback from wolfstar shippers! ♥ I originally wrote this story for Tanya, but really, this is for all Remus/Sirius shippers, because I really did try to do this pairing justice. Apart from Rose/Scorpius, this is probably one of the more popular pairings that I've attempted.

Gah, thank you for your comments on imagery and prose! ♥ Sometimes I think I ramble on a bit too much, and that I could be a lot more concise and stuff. But sometimes I'm glad that I'm not. :P I did really enjoy including some of the character details in the story, and I'm pleased that you mentioned Lily and her meetings. I didn't want to focus too much on the first wizarding war outside the school as it would have detracted a bit too much from the characters' personal lives. But I did envision these little student meetings within the school walls where the students can rally and stuff, protected by the institution of Hogwarts. Where they can be aware of the problems of war without being fully exposed to the full devastation.

And I'm beyond ecstatic that you quoted those lines! I really enjoyed coming up with those lines, far more than I did writing descriptive prose.

And like I said earlier on the forums, thank you once again for choosing to review this, even though you were in a reviewing race for the HC. This honestly means so much to me, and your review is just so kind and lovely aslkdjalskf ♥ ♥

-teh


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Review #73, by ad astraApple Island: water's edge

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hi teh! I've been meaning to read your stuff for ages and have never gotten round to it so I'm glad the HC has given me the opportunity!

Your writing is absolutely stunning. You have an incredible gift for description that brings your settings to life, and your attention to detail is amazing - even tiny details like the flavour of Andromeda's tea give the whole scene a sense of realness and authenticity. You have some stunning lines in this chapter as well that stand out to me - She thinks of Audrey, and all she can conjure up is an irritable scrawl of a woman, her voice troubled with clots of ink is a prime example. You create such vivid images that ring with truth and I could honestly read your writing forever.

I didn't read the earlier version of this story but I know it by reputation, and you've already cemented it in this first chapter as an intriguing and complex story of unparalleled originality. You've set up a compelling mystery with the disappearances and Aequin and the loss of memory, and I can't wait to see where it goes.

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! ♥

Thank you so, so much for this wonderful, amazing review. I'm kind of really flattered that you've been meaning to read my stuff!?!? Thank you! This made my day. ♥ And I didn't know this story even had a reputation; it's fairly unknown on my page, compared to some other stories (though I'm aware that one or two members have been promoting this :) ).

Aww, thank you for your comments on the description and detail; this is definitely one of my more descriptive stories, and I had a bit of fun with this!

Thank you once again for your review, Lisa! Your kind words really made my day, and made me feel a lot better about writing. ♥

-teh


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Review #74, by ad astraYou: you

12th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

EMILY. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T READ THIS BEFORE? I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON

This is such a brilliant story and is a true testament to your writing ability - have I mentioned before how versatile your writing is? Because I'm in awe of it. You can go from candelabra-laced parody to something like this without skipping a beat and everything you write is a joy to read.

Anyway.

I've lowkey shipped Albus/Elphias since the get-go and your interpretation of them is exactly how I envisaged it - unrequited, Elphias living in Albus's shadow and wholly captivated by him, refusing to ever say anything - there's a melancholic note of regret that runs through this whole piece, things left unsaid, and how Elphias can only give voice to them after Albus has gone. Your description of their relationship is matter-of-fact and inevitable - of course Elphias would love Albus, of course he would never say anything. I dragged you down, I can see that now. this is such a telling line, but there's no trace of self-pity in it, just that matter-of-fact melancholy. Your tone throughout this piece is perfect.

This is a fantastic, moving piece of writing and it fits the prompt so well, touching on social attitudes and the role they played in Elphias's silence. Thank you for writing this!

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Review #75, by ad astraStardust: Stardust

12th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Mallory, this is such a stunning piece of writing.

It's so different to what I've seen from you before but your experimentation has really paid off and you've done a stellar job with this one (that pun was not intentional, but let's pretend that it was). Lavender/Parvati are my weakness anyway, and then you add star imagery to the mix and congratulations, you have a guaranteed way to destroy me.

This is so gorgeous, so well thought out and brilliantly executed, and every line is absolutely stunning and poignant. Tears form in the fabric of space and time, creating paradoxes and half-truths. Your hands are no longer your hands alone; they are the hands of a victim, a patient, an invalid. I need a moment.

Everything you've done in this story works together to create something amazing - the second-person POV and the intimacy it creates in Lavender and Parvati's relationship, the way Parvati describes Lavender as something celestial and her insistence in seeing her that way despite how the war has broken her.

You were always meant to be a supernova and I was always meant to be a distant, weary traveler, ever pushing back against resistance to come home to you. This line, though. There are no words for it except that it's absolutely beautiful. This is a masterpiece of imagery and you should be very, very proud of it.

Author's Response: Lisa, you lovely thing! Thanks for the review(s)!!

This one is really really different, but I'm really glad I wrote it. Haha, Astronomy puns are always welcome, whether intentional or not. Lavender/Parvati have definitely become my weakness, especially after writing these stories. Sorry for destroying you, have a cookie? ♥

Thank you thank you thank you!! I never know what to say to such wonderful compliments, but ♥ it means a lot coming from you. Aww, sorry. :/ I don't think I knew how heartbreaking those lines were when I wrote them, but out of context I realize the implications. I wrote a sad thing. :/

Thank you! I didn't take too long to write it, but I think that writing under a time limit sort of pressurizes my style (like a diamond) and makes it sparkle a little brighter. Second person POV is actually one of my favorite POVs to write in because of the intimacy that you can have between the narrator and the object of the narrator's narration. So Parvati and Lavender worked quite well with it--even though their relationship is not working so well in this particular moment.

Thank you thank you again! That line kind of did upset me when I wrote it because of the way I imagined Parvati trying to reach out to Lavender but being met with resistance on Lavender's part. It's unfortunate for them that they had to go through this, but I imagine that they'll have a happy ending one day!

♥Mallory


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