Reading Reviews From Member: Ravenclaw333
  
241 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Ravenclaw333Invisible in Death: Ghostly Day

26th June 2014:
I've seen this story a couple of times while stalking your author page (we do a lot of review swaps!) and I'm glad I finally checked it out! I think Myrtle is one of the most misrepresented/misunderstood characters in HP and it pains me every time she's used as comic relief and nothing else, and you've done a really good job presenting her here as a complex and tragic character. It honestly hurt so much to read this - how lonely she was, the way she was mercilessly bullied and how Olive's teasing her about her glasses was the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were. You present her with so much sympathy, and I really like the insights into the ghost world as well and her conversation with the Grey Lady. And, oh man, that line "You care now that I'm dead, none of you talked to me while I was alive" KILLED me.

Wonderful story, poignant and insightful. Great job as always!

Author's Response: I don't know where to start with this lovely review! One, I'm glad this story had curb-appeal. Two, I kind of died squeeing because you liked her characterization (espec. compared to other portrayals of Myrtle).

I don't think I've read many stories that feature Myrtle - but I do agree that she's often boiled down to a charactericture. I wrote this as a part of showing a Ravenclaw in a story and she was my first choice because of how often she's not given any depth.

It's vindictive, but I'm glad it was painful to read. I did feel a bit of angst while writing it too. When I was researching Myrtle and coming up with these events, I did start to sympathize with her more than I have in the past.

The ghost world stuff was really a carryover from my writer's duel entry from February. I couldn't help but connect the two stories with the Grey Lady.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!

-Rose


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Review #52, by Ravenclaw333Friendship never dies: Friendship never dies

25th June 2014:
Hiya! Here for that review swap you offered!

So I've been wanting to read this since you posted your summary in the CR and you did not disappoint! Full disclaimer: I love Remus and Sirius. I absolutely adore them and I will read any relationship of them - best friends, soulmates, lovers (I'm a Wolfstar shipper at heart but even their friendship in canon is sacred to me) but you've brought them to life at a whole new level and it's amazing to see. Your characterisation is perfect, spot on, flawless (insert synonyms here) and you've managed the difference in tone and voice between them as teenagers and as older men. I LOVE the addition of Sirius's voice from beyond the veil, watching Remus - the desperation at seeing him like that, contrasted with the humour and teasing that epitomised their friendship in life - it's really well done. And the final note of hope and knowledge that even separated by death they will never leave each other is such a brilliant way to end it - there's a line in the Iliad where Achilles says he will never forget Patroclus, even in the Underworld where men forget all memories of the living, and that line hit me like a tonne of bricks when I read the final sentence of this story (fun fact for you there)

Brilliant, brilliant piece!

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Review #53, by Ravenclaw333A New Moon: A New Moon

25th June 2014:
THIS IS SO PERFECT I LOVE REMUS I LOVE THIS PIECE EVERYTHING IS GREAT I'VE LOST ALL ABILITY FOR COHERENT SPEECH BUT 10/10 YES

Author's Response: AH this is so sweet and the best best thing to wake up to!

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Review #54, by Ravenclaw333Event Three - Lament: A Giant and a Phoenix

23rd June 2014:
AHH EMILY THIS IS AMAZING

No but really, you've done an incredible job capturing Grawp's POV here - I've never given him much thought before, but you've given him a voice, thoughts, feelings and fears that are so incredibly real, building and expanding on his characterisation in the books - he's so innocent and childlike, and the details you've added about him being bullied are made more poignant by that. This is just a really, really beautiful piece (and I'm sorry for any incoherence but it's nearly 4am and this kind of blew me away, so.) Awesome, awesome work - and GO RAVENCLAW!

Author's Response: GAH LISA THANK YOU SO MUCH

I'm so glad! I was super worried about Grawp, to be honest, and I'm super happy that you think I've managed to develop his character while staying close to the books. Hearing/seeing that you feel his thoughts and fears were real is so good to hear, and I really do think that being bullied would affect everyone no matter what species they were. And no, this was such a lovely review to receive, don't apologise for anything!

Thanks for such an amazing review Lisa, and celsa sub conveniant aquila sapientes mentes! (is it bad that I feel proud for being able to recite that from memory? Yes, yes it is. :P) RAVENCLAW!


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Review #55, by Ravenclaw333Love in Three Acts: Epilogue: After the Curtain Fell

11th June 2014:
I hope you forgive me for not reviewing the third chapter but I just had to fast forward and see if there was a reconciliation between Remus and Sirius after the betrayal - my heart still hurts a little, and I was really worried this chapter would be about Sirius's death (I'm so glad it isn't, by the way, I don't think I could handle that much emotion in one sitting)

I really loved this chapter, though - not least because you gave my shipper heart some hope again. This whole scene was just perfectly handled - Sirius just casually dropping by, the way their familiarity and knowledge of each other comes through despite all the tension and all the painful history between them, and Remus's reluctance to dive headfirst back into a relationship. It's one thing I've noticed about your characters - they don't go running back to things that have hurt them at the slightest hint of reconciliation, and it's really refreshing to see Remus taking his time, not making any promises. A fantastic story all around, wonderfully bittersweet, and thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: I know I'm responding out of order but I couldn't help it. I dont' blame you for skipping straight to this one. I almost didn't write this epilogue but thought people would need a ray of hope after reading their betrayal chapter. I wanted this chapter to set up their relationship during OotP and HBP which I write about in other stories (as friends, not more than that).

I'm so happy you liked this chapter!! I wanted it to feel like their old friendship but not quite the old relationship. My Remus is very hesitant to love. I just can't let my characters jump into a bed of thorns because they see a rose in the middle. (wow - that got poetic) Yay!!! I'm really thrilled you enjoyed this little story!! :D

Thank you for the awesome review!

-Rose


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Review #56, by Ravenclaw333Love in Three Acts: Act 2: Romance

9th June 2014:
Hi! Here for the review swap you offered!

I keep meaning to come back to this story - I had every intention of continuing when I read the first chapter, and I'm glad you offered the swap so I could! As I mentioned before, Remus and Sirius is my ultimate OTP and you've presented them exactly how I've always imagined them during the war - in a long-term relationship, but kept relatively quiet - and, of course, fighting in the war. Your characterisation of both is spot on, and I really like your Sirius here, especially his approach to missions and that recklessness which is evident even years later after he escapes from Azkaban. The dynamic with the Marauders is great as well - the subtle digs and innuendos they trade amongst each other really brings them to life and illustrates their friendship perfectly.

And as for the story itself - whoa, I did not see that last bit coming - though having said that, you did set up the moment quite well with little hints that their relationship is in trouble. Something tells me the next chapter is going to be heartbreaking (then again, isn't all Wolfstar?) But brilliant job here, as always!

Author's Response: Whoo! I'm happy you came back to this. :D Before writing this I hadn't tried to put Sirius/Remus together but now I ship them (at least as far as it doesn't contradict canon). ;)

I like to think that their close friends (and people who saw them socially) knew they were a couple but a new person might not know or pick up on it. If I were doing a novel I'd probably hash that out a little more. I can't tell you how excited I am that you liked their friendships and that whole group of people. They're a fun bunch to write. :D

The song that this is based on is what led me to a dramatic, unexpected ending like that for each chapter. It was kind of fun to walk through the hints and then hit people with the kiss.

You're right about the next chapter. :P And I'm not sorry. Thank you so much for a lovely review! I'm so happy you enjoyed this!

-Rose


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Review #57, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

9th June 2014:
Another fantastic chapter! I love the triple perspective here, having snippets of Scorpius, Albus and Rose along with all their issues - please keep it up!

Ooh, Corbin. I'm really not sure how I feel about him - he seems quite full on considering it's early days in the relationship, and he comes across as quite possessive - I'm really interested to see how things play out re. Albus now there's a jealous boyfriend in the mix.

Albus and Brandon going on a date! You've set up the tension between them really well, and it's obvious they still have feelings for each other without being angsty about it - it's a very reciprocal thing going on and it's lovely to see, especially given Albus's past relationship issues.

And I love Rose's storyline here - I love me some good romance, but she brings something new to the story with her career issues and makes the whole thing even more relatable. Can't wait to see where you're going with this, and an excellent chapter!

Author's Response: I can't tell you how exciting it was to wake up to a review on a new and shiny chapter (and that you were excited to have been first). I think I'll always have a triple perspective chapter - though it won't always be the same three.

Haha, no one really likes Corbin right now. :-/ I guess I thought that would happen. If it's any consolation, Scorpius likes him (and he even likes the possessive bit too). It might get interesting for Scorpius with Albus trying to scuttle his relationship.

Brandon and Albus haven't really seen a lot of angst between them. That's just now kind of struck me. But, they are very much into each other. I think if Al hadn't been so lost/broken in Pure Intentions they would have stayed together.

Rose is definitely the non-romance story line here. I might weave some into her story arc but it's not her main purpose in the story.

I probably won't have time for another chapter for a week+ between the HC and grading finals this week. :-/ I'm excited to see what you think about where I take this!!

Thank you for a fab review!
-Rose


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Review #58, by Ravenclaw333Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blown Away: Scorpius POV

7th June 2014:
Wow. Just - wow. Your characters really do have some horror in their backstories, don't they?

This memory was really well done - you can hear Scorpius's voice as a fifteen-year-old coming through the memory, and the accident really comes out of nowhere, making the shock he feels that much more real. Prefacing it with his fight with his parents and his annoyance with the Muggle neighbour just adds to that shock, and his guilt at leaving his parents after an argument is obvious by the way he remembers the day so many years later.

The details you've added about him and Rose show a new dimension of their relationship - the fact that he still has feelings for her, and once again calling to mind their history together. And the line "She touched me, and let me touch her" seems so simple, but says so much - the fact that he's noticed something's wrong, and that until now she hasn't let him touch her at all - it's very telling. Wonderful chapter, and I really enjoyed this insight into Scorpius's POV.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for this amazing review! Yeah, I have damaged Rose and Scorp, huh? I really wanted them to need each other on a deeper level. I want them to help bring each other back from their horrible pasts. Hopefully, it will happen :)

Thanks for noticing the details. I'm glad it was a shock to you - that's what I was going for - yay! I was so excited to see that you felt the memory was well done. This was something that I was concerned about (mainly because I am the furthest thing from a 15-year old pure blood wizard that you could possibly get).

I hope you continue reading! I really value your reviews.


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Review #59, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: Such Great Heights

31st May 2014:
Ooh, things are getting interesting! I like Rose's role in this chapter - she and Albus obviously have quite a close relationship, and I like how you've dealt with her career crisis and not wanting to disappoint her mother. Having her talk to Brandon was a nice touch, and helps develop both of them a bit further outside their relationships with Albus.

Albus himself has certainly been busy! You've handled his different feelings for Scorpius and Brandon well, without any kind of moralising about whether he should or shouldn't be kissing them, which is really refreshing to see. Obviously the seeds for some future tension have been sown here though, and I look forward to seeing where this goes!

Author's Response: Hello!

You get a prize for being the first to review this chapter. By prize, I mean a thank you!

Albus and Rose are quite close. I feel like they were a bit distant in Pure Intentions because of Albus' broken heart. I will be having more scenes where Al isn't at teh center of everything. :) Mainly because I like variety.

Albus will keep on kissing freely for a while - until he heart makes him pick one. I didn't think it would do the plot well for him to agonize over what to do and not do anyhting instead. ;) Oh, there will be quite a bit of tension between Al et al.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review! I hope to hve more out in a few days.

-Rose


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Review #60, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: New Slang

29th May 2014:
Heya! Here for that review swap you offered!

I did intend to read this story anyway, so thanks for the opportunity! (and a reason to actually review as I go, rather than ploughing through the whole thing and leaving a brief couple of lines on the last chapter, like I did with Pure Intentions)

This is a really good first chapter - even if you're not sure about it, you've set the scene really well in terms of the relationships between all these boys. I love how Albus has progressed from using romance as a crutch to being able to let go and have a bit of fun with other guys like Derrick - that was a nice touch and shows exactly how far he's come from Pure Intentions.

The obvious tension between him and Scorpius, and the enduring attraction between him and Brandon really promises to make things interesting as the story progresses - I can't wait to see where you go with this!

I really like the relationship between James and Albus too. They seem to be best mates and flatmates as much as brothers, and it's really nice to see that connection and easy friendship between them. Albus being wingman for James was a perfect way of cementing that.

Overall an awesome start, can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hello!!!

Whoo! It'll be interesting to get your feedback throughout.

Whew, I'm really glad it sets the stage well. I dunno, first chapters are always kind of weird for me. Albus has progressed quite a bit from his emotional crutch status in Pure Intentions.

hehe, I liked making him still into both guys. Most of the story will be about them and whether they get back together. :D

After Pure Intentions, I thought I had ignored James a bit too much and it seemed like a good idea to show their relationship more. I like to think they're pretty close although they can annoy each other. They kind of remind me of Bill and Charlie sometimes (or at least how I imagine they were).

Thank you so much for a wonderful review! I hope to have the next chapter out this weekend.

-Rose


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Review #61, by Ravenclaw333Devlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: The Informant

23rd May 2014:
Here for that review swap you offered!

I've seen your status updates for this story and I've always been curious about it. You have a really interesting AU here - Voldemort and Sirius alive, the war still going, Harry with different kids and a different wife, and I can already see the potential for some really dramatic/horrific stuff.

I particularly love what you've done with Harry, seeing how the continuation of the war has changed him - this line is really striking: "The thought always proved to him, over and over again, how far he had traveled from innocence." The way he's still trying to be 'golden' and a hero really rings true, even though the war has damaged him and filled him with hatred - it's easy to make characters OOC in AUs, but you've done an excellent job in staying true to Harry here. Brilliant start!

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Review #62, by Ravenclaw333Between Here And Somewhere: Between Here And Somewhere

23rd May 2014:
Hey! Sorry it's taken me so long to get onto these reviews I owe you!

This piece is amazing, it really is. You do a remarkable job of bringing your characters completely to life in your one shots, and this is a stunning example of that. The way you've characterised Nina is flawless, first as a sister missing her brother, then a daughter bound by duty to stay at home while Amos travels, and finally (and most poignantly) as a young woman constrained by fear. I wasn't expecting that to come up at all, which I think is the most amazing thing - even within the story Nina manages to disguise her real reasons for staying at home, and the excuses she gives to her father and to the guests ring so true that even the reader is fooled into thinking that's all it is.

The way you've described her fear is perfect as well - the irrationality, the self-awareness, the isolation that comes from knowing nobody will ever understand the nature or extent of that anxiety - it's incredibly well done.

I loved your choice of why she's afraid - the bus in Cardiff seems like such a minor incident to outside eyes, but its effect on her is immediate and obvious (as is so often the case with anxiety/phobia related issues - it really emphasises her isolation and frustration with herself, and I have to commend you for that)

The way you've threaded her wanderlust throughout the story adds such a layer of bittersweet wistfulness - she wants nothing more than to travel and see the world, but at the same time she's too afraid, and I can't really put into words how much I appreciate seeing something like that in fic - the way you've shown how debilitating anxiety is, but at the same time you've included hope. She may not be ready to travel yet, but one day she will, and she's already working on leaving the house - her sanctuary - behind.

Overall an amazing piece of writing with perfect capturing of emotions, and I'm still a little bit blown away as I write this. Stunning work!

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Review #63, by Ravenclaw333Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bent: Rose POV

21st May 2014:
This is another incredible chapter - you started strong with your opening chapter and you've really kept that going with this one. I felt for Rose this whole scene, with the party and the drunk man and just the overwhelming terror she felt, and the way you've set up her relationship with Scorpius as someone who makes her feel safe is so important. You've continued to include little snippets of them from their Hogwarts years, which gives their relationship added depth and history, and does a really good job at emphasising how close they are, and how important they are to each other.

I have to commend you again on how you deal with the issues in this story and your portrayal of Rose's anxiety - as I said before, I really felt for her in this scene, and I can't emphasise how important it is to see characters who struggle with things like this. Incredible job once again, and I'll definitely be back for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi!

I was so excited to see that you came back for another chapter! I am glad to hear that you find Rose's emotional state portrayed realistically. I didn't want to gloss over the phases of dealing with a crisis when you are trying to keep it from everyone. I chose to start the story right around the two year anniversary of Rose's kidnapping, so that she has gone through (and is still going through) the emotional turmoil of it all, but is on the brink of being ready to move on.

I also am a huge ScoRose shipper, but I wanted this story to be more than just the two of them being together - they need each other. If you decide to read on, you will see that he needs her just as much.

Thanks for the review!

~Beth


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Review #64, by Ravenclaw333Love in Three Acts: Act 1: Friendship

19th May 2014:
Here for the review battle!

This story caught my attention right away - Remus and Sirius are my ultimate OTP, and you've already encompassed everything I love about the pairing in this first chapter! The banter and the easy friendship between all four boys was really well done, and the way you've introduced the initial attraction between Remus and Sirius suits them and their situation well. I like the little details you give about their families as well - Sirius's comments about Regulus and the Tower of London, Peter and his Muggle family - you've put them all in their wider contexts and I enjoyed seeing some of the innovations you've come up with. Overall, brilliant first chapter!

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you so much!

It's kind of funny that I'm so into this ship because my OTP is Remus/Tonks.

I'm so happy that you like how I've handled their relationship. I really like writing bits from the Marauder Era - the friendships and intricacies are a delight to write. I couldn't make their friendship turn to romance over night but wanted it look like a long-coming emotional build-up.

It's so exciting that you liked the extra bits I threw in to make their world a little more comprehensive.

Thank you so much for an awesome review!

-Rose


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Review #65, by Ravenclaw333Actions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

16th May 2014:
Whoa. Just. Whoa. This is incredible writing, and I can see why you felt you had to write this story - I totally agree.

You've done a really, really amazing job with portraying the panic attacks and what seems to be PTSD? (correct me if I'm wrong) and you've handled both of them with sensitivity and poignance. You've introduced Rose's situation, career and friends within that context very well, and I like the flashbacks to the Sorting as well and how it brought Rose and her friends together. An amazing start, and I can't wait to read more of a story showing so much promise - and covering such important issues. Thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: Holy. Cow.

This was such an amazing review. Thank you so much. I don't really even know how to respond to this. I am just really relieved that most people like this story. Don't worry - it isn't all stress and angst. Rose does have some PTSD from a previous event and we learn about it fairly early on in the story.

The road to recovery isn't going to be quick, but hopefully, she will find her friends to help her get through.

Again, thanks so much. I hope you get the chance to read more chapters and I would love to know what you think about them.

♥♥♥

~Beth (Veritaserum27)


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Review #66, by Ravenclaw333winter, cry.: winter, cry.

14th May 2014:
I have tears in my eyes and an complete and utter inability to write a coherent review but this was amazing, absolutely amazing and heartbreaking and poignant and I NEED to read more of your stuff right now yep.

Author's Response: ahhh, you're so sweet! i'm so so glad you liked it!

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Review #67, by Ravenclaw333Pull Me Under: Exposed

13th May 2014:
Thought I'd give this story a read after you posted about it on the forums, and I'm really enjoying it! I love me a good Scorpius-centric story, and you've set up the tension and the relationship between him and Rose quite nicely here. Good start, I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: thank you for reviewing and for the lovely comments xx

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Review #68, by Ravenclaw333Young and Beautiful: Chapther One

9th May 2014:
Hey, here for that review swap you offered!

I really loved this piece (and I love the song too, and now I won't be able to listen to it without thinking of Draco/Astoria!) I haven't read a lot of Draco/Astoria, but I always love seeing how people interpret the relationship and how they characterise Astoria - and I have to say, I do love your Astoria! The way you've described her longing for freedom and love of travel is fantastic, and the way you've made it clear that her marriage to Draco isn't giving up that freedom and adventure, but rather exchanging it for a different kind of adventure, is awesome. You've given some good insight into her situation as well, especially the upper class nature of her social circle now, and how she feels out of place and insecure in their presence. And the relationship you've developed here between Draco and Astoria is equal parts sweet and passionate, and I'm shipping it so hard right now! Overall a lovely bit of writing, and you should definitely write more of this pairing!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for wanting to reviewswap with me! :)

Oh right, the song. I forgot to credit it at the Author's Note. I didn't use the lyrics, but I still think it's polite to credit your inspiration :) Good thing I remembered that when you mentioned the song!

I can't stop thinkingg about Draco and Astoria too whenever I hear the song, haha :) It fits them quite well, sort of dark and romantic at the same time.

You've been very spot on with your observation! Astoria is very insecure when she's around her so-called friends, and to be honest - when they gossip like that all the time, I would be insecure as well.

Yes! I will definitely write another story with this pair. It was so fun to write this story, it was so different and new to me and I enjoyed it very much.

I'm so glad you liked my story :) And thank you again, for reviewing.

- Avi


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Review #69, by Ravenclaw333Tea & Poison: Ella

7th May 2014:
This is an amazing piece of writing, intriguing and terrifying in its subtlety, and I can't wait to read more! I love your depiction of the 19th century wizarding society and the darkness that seems inherent even within the house - it's incredible stuff, well done and keep it up!

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Review #70, by Ravenclaw333Easter Lily: Easter Lily

7th May 2014:
This is such a sweet story, I love it! The way you've characterised all of them - the friendship between James and Sirius and the jokes they come up with, Remus as the voice of reason - is fantastic, a great interpretation of what we know from the canon. I loved the snapshot of James, Lily and Harry as a little family, with Sirius and Remus a part of it as well - it's just really, really sweet. And your insight into Lily as well - her restlessness and isolation, and the toll that aspect of the war has taken on her - is such an important point and you've described it really well. There's a note of tragedy here as well - the pranks showing how young James and Sirius really are, while the shadow of the war and James and Lily's parenthood has forced them to grow up too fast. A phenomenal piece of writing!

Author's Response: Hi!

You were the first person to review my updated version of this and I am so glad that you liked it. I rewrote it and was nervous because it ended up being a lot longer. I'm so glad that it didn't seem to long.

Wow. I was so excited to see that you liked the balance between the silliness of James and Sirius with Lily's fears. I really did enjoy writing this one, so thanks for the kind words!

Beth


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Review #71, by Ravenclaw333I Loved You First: I Loved You First

4th May 2014:
This is such an amazing piece, and certainly worth the wait! I loved everything about this - the dual perspectives of James and Lily, the way you've characterised Ella and Marlene, the way you've dealt with major events and themes without ever overdramatising it - very well done. You've done an amazing job at capturing the emotions here as well - the confusion, grief, regret, the 'what ifs' for Lily even when she's with James. An original idea that still fits perfectly into the canon - I particularly liked how you've included the shadow the war has cast over everyone's lives, and the detail about Ella dying heroically. Fantastic work, and thank you so much for entering the challenge!

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Review #72, by Ravenclaw333Memories : Ginny

4th May 2014:
This is such a sweet little piece, and I love the 'missing moments' from the canon, like Harry's proposal and the ceremony itself - I love the connection between Harry's proposal on the Quidditch pitch and their first kiss after the Quidditch game in Half-Blood Prince - it's really something that brings them together, so I loved that little touch! You've characterised them well, particularly the relationship and the things that make them Harry and Ginny - the inside jokes, the reference to Ginny's crush - and I loved the "I love you," "I know," exchange - it was a really nice way to finish off. A lovely piece :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review. It really means a lot to me and I really appreciate the feedback!
~Panda Weasley


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Review #73, by Ravenclaw333Spectacular Now: Spectacular Now

4th May 2014:
Oh wow. I don't even know how to react to this, except that this is such an incredibly poignant piece, beautifully done, and your balance of sadness, hope, and humour is perfect. There's a certain symmetry to it - Roxanne named after Angelina's sister the same way Fred is named after George's brother, the fact that Arthur and Molly leave the Burrow to the next generation, the dual perspectives of George and Fred showing that enduring link - it's so wonderfully and subtly done. You've taken a tragic situation and brought hope into it, and I just really, really love the themes and ideas in this piece. Awesome work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a nice review!!

I've always felt bad for Roxanne, that she'd feel left out not being named after someone, so I thought... hey, why not make some headcanon?

I'm glad that you enjoyed it!! I wanted to make it not a very sad story, even though the basis of it is a little bit sad.

Thanks so much!!

-Georgia


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Review #74, by Ravenclaw333We Are One: It begins with pink

3rd May 2014:
This is an intriguing story, and you've made a really good start here. You've done exactly what the genre demands - surrounded everything with mystery and suspense,and I have to admit I'm fascinated (and really, really curious) to find out who the killer is. The first part was incredibly dark, and you've captured it very well - it almost gave me chills, particularly the Imperius Curse. Given that you're writing this for the darkness challenge, you've certainly made an excellent start, and the way you've described the killer - twisted, cold, dangerous - is perfect. Really good scene-setting here too - Harry and Ginny as young parents, Ron and Harry as junior Aurors - I'm interested to see how they handle this case, especially given their own personal feelings against Umbridge. Nicely done and I look forward to reading more!

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Review #75, by Ravenclaw333Dementor: Dolores Umbridge

3rd May 2014:
This was such an amazing piece, as any writing that elicits sympathy for Dolores Umbridge has to be! You've done an incredible job with this, dealing with eating disorders and body image issues, and the little details you've slipped in about how she started - the pink, the curls, the kitten - all make so much sense within the canon. You've sowed the seeds here for her later cruelty and need for control and respect, and while nothing can justify her behaviour, you do go a long way in explaining it. A fantastic chapter and I will definitely be reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you! She's an interesting character to write because in the books her actions are unjustified, and it takes a lot to explain them. If I can make people feel some sympathy towards her, I feel I've achieved a lot.

- Leonore


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