Reading Reviews From Member: ad astra
305 Reviews Found

Review #26, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Dominoes - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

mallory you are a gift you really are

there is so much going on here i don't know whether to be touched by the sibling bonding going on here or laugh at sirius being - well - sirius. siriusly. kudos on the characterisation this line was amazing: But Sirius Black did not approve of the disapproval of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, so he did as he pleased. He went around in the Muggle world, had very Bad Behavior, and was a General Tomfool. And… he played games.

(it is now my dearest headcanon that Sirius has at least once in his life proclaimed himself as General Tomfool and i get the feeling i'm going to end up with a lot of dearest headcanons going through your entries)

“Are you ready for the dominoes race of a century, little bro?”

“Oh, bring it on!”
doesn't this scene just make you wish that regulus didn't die alone trying to make his big brother proud and that sirius didn't die before he discovered what regulus had done i mean

i'll see myself out

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Review #27, by ad astraGame On: Volume II: Photosynthepranks - UnluckyStar57 - Ravenclaw

6th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Mallory! I have decided to go through all (read: maybe 5-10) of your HC entries for this round because you piqued my interest in them SO MUCH during the writing process. i'm excited to see the finished products

firstly, how have you managed to personify plants?? i mean, i'm pretty sure i will come across weirder things in this collab and there are also weirder things in the wizarding world anyway but let's talk about this bit for a sec: Plants are quite intelligent and they have a lot of time to think while they do photosynthesis all day, but when it comes to revelry and rumpus, they are as mature as five year old children. And magical plants play the simplest game of all and how i want to compliment your characterisation of magical plants. i love it. this is golden

Oliver blinked. “I haven’t done anything to you, Percy. I don’t even want to talk to you right now! I swear to Merlin, you’re so annoying sometimes!” i am going to believe 100% that this is the beginning of a tropetastic hate-to-love percy/oliver and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise

this is going to be such a party thank you for writing this

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Review #28, by ad astraOutsider: The Unexpected Visitor

28th June 2015:
Hi Yumna! I saw that you didn't get any reviews during the last HC round and didn't want you to miss out!

First things first - I love the premise of this story. Dudley having a magical child is one of my dearest headcanons and I'm so excited for the rest of this story. Your characterisation of Dudley here is fantastic - how you've identified the things that forced him to grow up and become a better man, and how he slowly but surely overcame his upbringing. And the story of him meeting Preeya and standing up to his family is just perfect - it must have been a real turning point for him to realise, fully, the intolerance of his parents and the issues with his upbringing. I never thought I'd end up admiring Dudley Dursley, but you've given his character a real sense of determination and courage.

He's still far from perfect, of course, with the obvious issues he has with Nora's magic, but you've made it clear he's acting out of concern for his daughter - his experience with magic was overwhelmingly negative, after all, and he doesn't want Nora to get involved in the magical world as he knew it. I really hope he comes around, though, and I'm looking forward to meeting Nora in future chapters.

fantastic start!

Author's Response: First off, it means so much to me that you took the time to review even after the event is over! Thank you so much!
I'm so glad you liked Dudley's development as a character. And you're right, he's still far from perfect. You will certainly meet Nora in the next chapter.
Again, thank you so, so much for the review. I really appreciate it! :)

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Review #29, by ad astraDon't Forget Me: My Hero

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin



i demand explanations i cannot believe this i thought everyone was exaggerating but no you killed Rose. my precious Rosie and you made James kill her omg why

you should write a 50k novel about this and i will review every single chapter with just "why Tammi why" you know you want to

Don’t forget about me James.

You’re the only one who promised that you wouldn’t.
you took my already shattered heart and stomped on it with this line. Rose is dead and James has blood on his hands and Albus is in Azkaban for it just. waiting on his brother. trusting him. relying on him to save him and get him out. because his entire family has abandoned him and he's innocent but he just wanted to save his brother and oh no

i'm upset. it's 3.17am and i am very very upset

Author's Response: Elisabeth, I am sorry! I'm a big meanie who apparently wants to destroy everything :P

There will be explanations, you will know why James done it, and why it was Rose, and why/how Albus came to take the blame.

Hahaha I will write it! AND I HOLD YOU TO THOSE REVIEWS :P

*hugs you*

I'm sorry!

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Review #30, by ad astraCold Blood: Broken Pieces

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

sweet salazar whoever this killer is they sure have a thing for harry. i mean like there are definitely better ways to get your crush's attention than systematically murdering all his enemies #voldemortinlove

“Oh, that’s right,” you murmured into his ear. “You need to use the loo.” not gonna lie, i was fully expecting an actual toilet to drop from the ceiling and kill him. that'd be a fitting way for mundungus fletcher to die, don't you think? that was terrible i'm sorry

your killer is a torturer too. warm breath, pearly teeth, clearly an altruist. you've made them almost likeable, except for the penchant for grievous bodily harm

She nodded in response, her face lighting up with a warm smile. She loved it when Ron surprised her with his affectionate gestures, especially when she really needed a distraction from her work. love a bit of romione in the midst of all the murder. cutie patooties

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Review #31, by ad astraCold Blood: Bitterly Truthful

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin


on mundungus fletcher. does that mean i'm right was the killer after good old dung? does he have hair? i think he was balding come to think of it #3amthoughts

Ron snorted. “Marietta hated Umbridge? That’s hard to believe given how she betrayed us at school.” okay this is excellent characterisation because we all know ron weasley is a+ at casting shade and also holds grudges for approximately ten million years

Harry recollected the events of his parents’ murder; the flash of green light illuminated the air around him as his mother’s screams resonated in his ears. He watched Cedric drop to the ground like a doll, with just two words. He watched as a green bolt narrowly missed Ginny. “I change my mind,” he said. “No one deserves it. No innocent person deserves to have their life taken away. And no one who can cast it without remorse should be given such a painless escape.” sweet Salazar that is some good characterisation. harry is so noble and has such a traumatic history, and i was almost expecting him to unmask some Hidden Dark Thoughts especially about umbridge but that wouldn't have been consistent with his character. kudos to you awesome job

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Review #32, by ad astraCold Blood: Chocolate and Bubbles

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

i feel a weird sense of trepidation every time i read a fluffy scene from you because there's this knowledge in the back of my mind that their happiness will end in tragedy or violence or maybe a mix of the two but James's birthday party is so adorable look at the happy Potters and wee James blowing out his birthday candles! i assume Ginny's pregnant with Albus here?

and OH LOOK THE KILLER'S AT JAMES'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. what did i tell you right there erin. ALSO i think i kind of guuessed this earlier but obviously the killer's some kind of vigilante getting back at anyone who's ever harmed harry and i am so curious about who they are which is kind of the point of a murder mystery? a+ job with that

who is the bald man?? why was my first instinct mundungus fletcher? i just remembered mundungus fletcher had hair. it's 2.30am i cannot be blamed for this

who else is bald and has wronged harry and has a lot of gold?

your killer is terrifying. and has excellent teeth. this doesn't narrow it down at all

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Review #33, by ad astraCold Blood: Light up the Dark

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

erin my dear i'm sorry i never got around to reading the rest of this story but we both know i'm pretty trash at reviewing and at least it means i get to review you for points ey viva la salazar

Xenophilius Lovegood Erin why would you kill Xenophilius Lovegood he was my favourite nutty wizard and poor Luna losing both parents and being the one to find him too oh no and this line How her father had taught her the beauty and mystery of life and death, showing her that her mum’s death didn’t mean it was the end. How he was the reason she grew up to be a strong, unique young woman.

i digress.

Even this lion of a man wouldn’t be able to find you. No one would be able to find you. No one knew your secret. i forgot you throw these little snippets from the killer's POV into this story and it adds so much suspense and mystery to the whole thing - to be close enough to the killer to get their POV and their thoughts but never close enough to know who it is.

luna is an actual angel bless her soul

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Review #34, by ad astraThe Internal Monologue of Jamie Nott: Okay, so maybe it wasn't very romantic

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Jamie, by way of your parental supervision (hi Em)

Fourth wall? What fourth wall? Hello readers! I've told you about me. Why don't we hear about you? What's your story?

Yes you, you who is currently reading this. Hello there!
I thought I was being so sneaky, Jamie, and you knew all along.

Gail has got her tentacle wrapped around me tightly in the abdomen area—that was the strange squeezing sensation I felt. She's lifting me into the air and—good Merlin, NO! And here I was thinking that strange squeezing sensation was you overcome with feelings about Devyn. I've done you a disservice, Jamie, I should have realised a rogue squid tentacle when I read one.

Do you speak Squid? Or do you and Gail just have a deep understanding that transcends language? Incidentally, did you name her Gail or did she tell you her name? I'm intrigued.

Devyn levitates me to the Hospital Wing after we find out how hard it is for me to move. You're a lucky man, Jamie.

Analysis Paralysis. Grumuck is a witty little banker, isn't he? I need to start using this in real life all the time.

Cheerio, my man.

Author's Response: HIYA, LISA!

Parental supervision? That's probably more like it. Em is almost like a second mum sometimes. Or a first one since my mum probably doesn't know I exist anymore. And I mean that literally. And when I say literally, I mean that actually literally.

About that fourth wall. Em told me that people from beyond this thing called a 'fourth wall' know my story. That's where these letters are coming from, she said. Are all people from beyond the 'fourth wall' some sort of overlords or all-powerful deities?

Did you? Hmm. . . tentacles and feelings are radically different things, though. :P I like you a lot, you're funny. I mean that in the best way possible, of course. Ah, that's alright, Gail's a very sneaky one. She's quite the trickster.

Do I speak Squid? In a sense. I can communicate to creatures beyond humans and house elves. I guess you could say that I do speak Squid. And fairy. And Pixie. And others. Gail told me what her name was, yup. :D

Thank you so much, Lisa. I guess I am. Devyn's. . . amazing, though maybe that's a bit of an understatement and not the right word. . . Devyn is. . . Devyn. She's unreal to me sometimes.

Grumuck, sweet, old, grumpy Grumuck. He's the best.

Again, thank you so much for these wonderful letters. I really, really do appreciate them. They make me feel a tad less alone.

Cheerio to you as well, Lisa,

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Review #35, by ad astraThe Internal Monologue of Jamie Nott: A Romantic Picnic by the Great Lake

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Jamie (c/o your ever-benevolent overlord Em)

Oh Jamie. Bless your beautiful awkward besotted stumbling soul. This monologue of yours was a delight to read and not because I enjoyed your discomfort. at all

Am I allowed to emasculate you a bit and call you adorable? because you totally are. you're an absolute cutie-pie. Look at you making quiches for the girl you like and bringing her berries and having a favourite house elf.

Speaking of, I look up at her. She sees the awe in my face. Her eyes are brightened.

"You just changed my life," I whisper.

She leans in closer to me. "I know," she whispers back.
Jamie my boy, I'm sorry, but I feel like you and Devyn were on different pages during this particular exchange. The berries sound amazing though, I'd love to be fed one by a pretty girl next to a lake

I hope your brain is almost literally returned to you unharmed soon, because you're going to have a hard time getting through the rest of this scene - I mean experience - without it. Godspeed, child.

Author's Response: Hello again Lisa!

The ever-benevolent overlord. That's the best description of Em that Em's ever seen, I bet.

Yes. You is right. I is awkward, bestted, and stumbling. It's very kind of you to say that I am in a beautiful way. I really appreciate that. Thanks, Lisa. And I like chatting with you, too. These letters from you are a delight to read as well.

Yup, lots of discomfort here, there, everywhere, in a box, with a fox. . . I'm rambling. Sorry.

Funny thing about this emasculating bit. . . I haven't really specified my gender yet, now haven't I? Hmm. . . In any case, I shall gladly take this 'adorable' compliment and the 'absolute cutie-pie' one. I'm red. Any more of this and I'll be scarlet. And any more after, I'll likely combust. I mean I am so glad you think all of this is cute. . . I hope Devyn thinks so. Gingky did say it was a good idea.

Different pages? Yeah, you're right about that. No need to apologise though, I'll just try something else, 's not your fault, Lisa. :D Well, berries are best fed by pretty girls next to lakes! I mean, not that it's a regular thing for me or that it's just any girl--just Devyn for me.

Scene! Hahaha!! As if it was a movie or a story. You're very funny, you know? Thanks for the godspeeding and the lovely letter, as always.


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Review #36, by ad astraThe Internal Monologue of Jamie Nott: The Two Laws of Hogwarts

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Dearest Jamie (c/o Em 'pointless_proclamations')

Firstly, I greatly appreciate your Laws of Hogwarts. The first one almost seems like a trope of the genre, you know? Not that I'm suggesting your life is fictional or anything. Just an observation. Keep it real.

Your internal monologues are stellar, Jamie. You're obviously a witty kind of bloke and I appreciate your take on the world, especially things like the Rambunctious Order of Redheads and your matter-of-fact Devyn Yang is my best friend. This is our 7th year at Hogwarts. While I have plans to go back to South Africa and start working in a Magical Creatures Sanctuary, Devyn has plans to become a chef. I think I may be attracted to her.

A grand proclamation. I think your author has a thing for name-dropping herself into your life. I mean, what? Author? I didn't say author. Do you have any close friends called Em, perchance? Authority figures in your life? All-powerful deities? Just asking.

'll take any excuse to spend time with the Hippogriffs and to avoid having to drink this goo, however kind enough he was to make it. All class, Jamie Nott.

10/10, would read again.

Author's Response: Hello there Lisa!

Tropes? I guess you could say so. The laws do apply to the overwhelming majority of Hogwarts students and alumni. Sometimes, it almost seems like it's fictional. You know, when so much of the world don't know that this other part of the world exists. . . like my mother.

I am tickled pink you like reading my thoughts, I suppose. Thank you for complimenting my brain (?).

Again and again, thank you for all these compliments. Never really thought of myself as witty, I guess.

Haha. Good Merlin, you had me very, very confused for a moment. Yes, I have an Em. She talks to me sometimes. Are we friends? I'd say so. I never really considered what she is, though. I don't really know actually. Maybe she is an all-powerful deity. Hmm. . . I'll have to ask her.

Em? Are you an all-powerful deity?

*. . .*

She's not replying right now, I think she's sleeping.

Anyway, 'all class,' yup. . . that's me. . . well, that's me trying, at least.

Thank you for your thoughts, Lisa! You are amazing fun to chat with.


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Review #37, by ad astraUnravel. : Millicent.

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Erin. Erin this is amazing oh man

This is so haunting and so different to the last two stories, but so uniquely yours as well - the mental illness, again, and the chilling quality that you pull off so well, and this was next-level brilliant and so unexpected. I was expecting something that would make me feel sorry for Millicent, especially with this line That’s not to say you didn’t have any feelings. There were those times when your cousins would come for a visit, and call you names that would tear through your skin but you took this in a completely different direction.

There's something so sinister in the fact that Hermione's Polyjuice cat hair came from Millicent's robes in light of what you've written here. I don't know whether you're depicting schizophrenia or psychosis or something entirely different - I'm not an expert - but you've done it so well and I cannot get over how well second person works for this story. It's absolutely perfect. Sometimes second person POV can seem gimmicky, but you couldn't have made a better choice here. The synergy between your language and content is amazing.

This is so incredible I can't even deal

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Review #38, by ad astraUnravel. : Blaise.

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin



i don't even have an excuse for that i just love this chapter so much has anyone told you recently that you're an amazing writer i mean they probably have but i feel the need to reiterate

i love your Blaise. he's so cold and formal and his upbringing as a pureblood is just threaded throughout his voice, but there's such a tenderness in the way he talks about Theo as well and sweet Salazar you know how to turn a phrase. It was a gradual process, like a fire being cradled from a single flame. All I remember is when I first noticed just how dark your eyes are. So dark, they seem soulless, causing a chill to run deep into my bones, making me shudder and gasp in wonder. They are an exhilarating sight to behold - scary, yet, so unbelievably captivating at the same time. But of course, my reactions to those are invisible to anyone else; hidden deep within layers of untold secrets. You may call me a coward, a deceiver, but we all know bravery isn’t a trait we commend ourselves for. your depictions of Slytherin House are the literal best and I feel so proud to be a Snake right now??

relishing her chance to show me just how intense a single encounter could be. This line is incredible. actually that whole section is incredible but I probably couldn't get away with quoting the rest. how are you so good at this


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Review #39, by ad astraUnravel. : Pansy.

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I can tell why you're sending everyone who dislikes SuD-verse Pansy to this story, because this explains so much about her behaviour - especially towards Draco. My heart absolutely broke for her in this and knowing that Draco will, eventually, end up with Astoria just kills me even more. I feel so so bad for her right now

I feel like you've been told this a hundred million times but your depiction of mental illness is so so good here - OCD and bulimia? and the way you've tied them both together with Pansy's relentless pursuit of perfection, the role her relationship with her mother plays in that, and the constant refrain of Pansy Parkinson. Designer. Future Malfoy. Proper, perfect, Pureblood. is just so perfect. You've lifted Pansy from canon -the way she behaves around Draco, especially in HBP - as well as SuD and everything she does makes so much sense. And her relationship with Draco breaks my heart. I would never have thought I would think this about Pansy Parkinson but I just want to wrap her in a blanket and give her a hug and say "babe you are worth so much more than this"

erin you're destroying me

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Review #40, by ad astraTurbulence: Chapter 1

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin


This chapter tho. I love Astoria with every fibre of my being, she's so bold and compassionate and unflinching in her ideals, and taking Pooja under her wing the way she did just melts my heart. The more you build up her backstory in here, the more everything she does in Sturm und Drang makes sense, and you've obviously put so much thought into her characterisation and it just shines here.

And your worldbuilding YES i love your worldbuilding and the moment i saw your story I was excited about the prospect of you creating a new wizarding school and you did not disappoint. especially the bit about the magical signature and the wall talking to the wand to make sure it was being held by its owner - I love this kind of detail. and the inscriptions? and i can't wait to find out more about the Scripting class and all the other classes that are different from Hogwarts and the animagi class??? I'm such a sucker for magical schools

I'm interested in the way the wizarding war has infiltrated even the American school with those boys being supporters of You Know Who and Astoria's parents warning her that he's back, and i'm looking forward to seeing how that continues to affect her school life as the war in England plays out. i'm just looking forward to the rest of this story in general, so you should update it *nods*

you're the greatest

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Review #41, by ad astraTurbulence: Prologue

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Erin erin erin erin erin erin erin i am SO EXCITED you got me invested in Sturm und Drang and now there's a companion fic about my bae Astoria YAAAS

REAL TALK THO this story showcases what I love about your writing. You do mental health like nobody else in the world and your passion for it and familiarity with it shines in this story. And you have an uncanny affinity for the unusual and the unsettling, like this bit: Fifteen minutes later, the two women found Ana lying on the ground, red welts beginning to form where the sun caressed her skin. And Tori kept running and running, past the still form of her best friend who lay on the little jutting stones, focused on the game where she would run, and Ana would follow. I honestly thought Ana was dead reading this, because of the haunting sense you imbued the scene with, and even though she's not you've left this lingering feeling of wrongness and it's just so good.

Your depiction of the Greengrass family is so perfect as well - the subtle ways that mental health issues affect a family as well as the big ones, the way you've shown the level of desperation they reach and the cruelty of shipping Astoria off to America in order to not "compromise" Hector's ideals...I can see the Astoria of Sturm und Drang here and especially her motivations for opening a rehabilitation centre.

tl;dr you are a goddess and I love this

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Review #42, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Sensed

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I sigh and tune out Pansy’s jabbering while I look around the dimly lit area. Draco is such a loving and attentive partner. I can see why all the girls swoon over him. What a fine specimen of man. Pansy is so blessed

a typical Gryffindor prank. Those losers never have a sense of actual creativity, always playing the same pranks and making the same jokes. I would have to plug my ears permanently if I was to join the England team with such idiots on it. Sure, they’d fly well, but I wouldn’t be able to listen to their chatting without throwing up every time. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve given up on the idea of ever being a part of that team. this gives me a Lot of Emotions because look at Draco trying to convince himself that no, he would never want to be part of England's team at all ever, they're a bunch of losers and he totally doesn't want to be one of them

oh wow this is FANTASTIC. DRACO AND PANSY IN A FITTING ROOM goodness gracious, Draco, what would your mother think? And all to get away from a polite conversation with your sort-of-boss Draco you are an adult. Supposedly. I love him he's so useless and terrible

She glances at me and catches my eyes on her as I try to figure her out. Her ideas puzzle me, her attitude about life so different to any other Pureblood I know. She's much nicer as well, weirdly enough. But she's a smart one, quite devious. Astoria Greengrass is going to be an interesting character to work with your crush is showing, Draco. find your chill

Erin I love this story and I love you please keep writing it yes

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Review #43, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Oppositions

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin


apparently Astoria roasting Draco turns me into a crowing frat boy? i'm sorry

I love this chapter so much and I'm going to give you a list of reasons why: 1) Astoria roasting Draco. i live for this now it's amazing 2) Sly innuendos. I see what you did there 3) Draco is such a terrible person this is amazing. it gives me life he's just so unapologetically, obliviously awful. Summoning his house elf to do his community service for him and barging into Nott's counselling session and that line of Thanks, but I’m not weak. I don’t get affected and I don’t need help. There's bad boys and then there's awful people and Draco falls squarely into the second category. I can't wait for all the juicy character development you've got in store for him through this story, Erin. I'm rubbing my hands in glee at the very thought of it.

I love Astoria more with every chapter. She's such a boss and I'm so glad she's taking Draco down a peg or two because lord knows he needs it

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Review #44, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Cornered

28th June 2015:
Slytherin House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

First things first: Raine Renault's Robes for the Rich. I want to revel in this store name for a moment. I want to bask in the opulence and the ostentatiousness and the beautiful visual this store name creates. I love it. 10/10

The head of this organization, Astoria Greengrass, should be easy enough to win over. After all, I am Draco Malfoy. Even as a pardoned Death Eater, I make women swoon, as the Prophet is kind enough to bring to my attention every other day. I laughed out loud at this. This is Draco at his arrogant best. My problematic fave, my darling. I love him and you write him so well.

n elderly couple enters the room, hand in hand, looking frail, their eyes gaunt. They glance at me, and looks of hatred appear instantaneously on their faces. They quickly move to sit as far away from me as possible, conspicuously placing their wands on their respective laps. This is another example of what I already love about this story - your portrayal of the post-war world, and the setting of a rehabilitation centre for war victims only strengthens that. Draco is still convinced that his donation will be all that's required to restore the family name to its former glory, and he's obviously at the bottom of a steep learning curve when Astoria rejects his suggestion.

(Astoria, by the way. I love her here. I can't wait to read more of her)


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Review #45, by ad astraSturm und Drang : Freedom

27th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin


Post-war stories about Draco are my fave. Well, I have a lot of faves, but post-war stories are definitely up there and I am so excited for this! I love how you open with the news article - it really sets the scene for what the post-war wizarding world is like and the kind of scrutiny and infamy Draco will be facing.

You've captured his voice really well here too - young, a bit contemptuous, struggling with the new rules he's finding society operating under (constantly having to stop himself from saying 'mudblood' is a nice touch) and I like the concept of community service as well - it's not something I see people include in the wizarding world very often, but there's got to be some options in the justice system that go beyond sending people to Azkaban. And non-profit and charity organisations are, again, something I don't see much of - I think in canon there's that donation fountain for St Mungo's and that's about it - and I really appreciate the worldbuilding you've done even in this chapter. Support groups for Muggleborns to help them fit into society is another awesome idea. And a rehabilitation centre for victims of the war? yes. Sign me up.

Can't wait to read on, and an awesome opening chapter!

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Review #46, by ad astraCreperum: Chapter Two: The Child

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

This is another intriguing chapter - and your description throughout is amazing. You evoke the scene of the Potters' house and the destruction really well, as well as Rebecca's raw emotion at finding Lily and baby Harry. I love the interaction between Rebecca and Harry as well - her desperation to keep him, and the cruel irony that he's being taken away by wizards to be raised by the Dursleys - “He belongs with his kind, Rebecca!” Amadeus cut her off, fighting to pry her hands off Harry. Their voices never raised above a loud whisper. Rebecca’s heart was breaking as she fought to hold onto the crying child. “They’ll take care of him, you’ll see.” Oh no they won't

I'm so interested in who Rebecca and Amadeus are and their links to James and Harry - they're obviously Muggles, and not James's bioogical parents - where do they fit in? I'm hooked on this story now, nicely done!

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Review #47, by ad astraCreperum: Chapter One: Anguish

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Hi Selene! I decided to stop by and check out this project of yours!

This was a really good opening chapter - I love your depiction of high wizarding society and the ball Rebecca and Amadeus were attending, especially the ladies dripping in their glittering jewels and fine evening gowns and the gentlemen with their cigars, reminiscing of old times long gone - it evokes such a strong image of privilege and wealth and Respectable Society, and you contrasted that really well with Rebecca's behaviour and the shock of the Potters' place at Godric's Hollow after Voldemort's attack.

This chapter raises a lot of intriguing questions as well - I feel like I should recognise the name Amadeus? - but Rebecca's relationship to the Potters and to James is one of the biggest questions raised of this chapter and I'm really interested to find out who she is - and how she had such a strong physical reaction to James's death. This chapter sets up your story really well in tone and invites interest in the story itself.

Awesome start and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes!

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Review #48, by ad astraL'optimisme: Württemberg

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

I don't know what it says about me that the more I read this story, the more I love Gellert and the more I look forward to reading his chapters. The Dark Lord and malevolent dictator, perpetrator of war crimes and what can only be described as a reign of terror throughout Europe, and you make him a poet who loves watching the snow fall. File that under: things I should not find oddly heartwarming.

Work was calling; no doubt there would be time to ruminate on declarations of love made by silent admirers once I had installed a new world order. I love this line so much I can't even express to you how much I love this line

The will of the people is a powerful thing, Albus, as no doubt you know now. On it, empires rise and fall, politicians cast their souls, and the whims of God are made clear. I love this line for entirely different reasons. This story is in every way testament to your abilities as a linguist and a historian as well as a writer, down to the simple fact that you created the Codex Alaricium for this chapter. The authenticity of your setting is incredible and it adds so much depth and vibrancy to the story.

Author's Response: Hi again, Lisa! :D Thank you so much for stopping by - it's been so so amazing getting these reviews, especially from you, and I'm just so incredibly grateful for them, so thank you! :)

Thank you! :D It is one of those things - he's quite a fun character to write because opinions on him vary so differently - some people like him, some people still hate him. It's something I love about writing him - it makes it much more interesting to see what responses you get from things, if people change their minds and things. And yeah, I really, really didn't want to leave him as a kind of 2D Dark Lord figure, and for some reason poetry seemed to suit him - words in general are his sort of thing, though. I'm so glad you like it, though! :) Sometimes things which seem to make sense to me don't seem to make sense to other people :P

Gah, thank you! :) Gellert has his priorities sorted, for sure :P

Thank you so so much! I seem to say this so often in your review responses, but I'm just so blown away by your comments I'm just lost for words most of the time, so thank you! Languages and history are two of my favourite things and two hobbies as well as areas of interest, and a lot of that does feed into this, and I just love that you like that. (The Codex Alaricium came from law classes, though - not in name, but in form, sort of? :P)

Thank you so so much for the amazing set of reviews, they've been so so incredible to get, and I'm so so grateful for every one I've got, so thank you so much! :)

Aph xx

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Review #49, by ad astraL'optimisme: Similes

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

It was in this chapter that I realised how much I love the way you've structured this story, opening with reflections and moving into flashbacks. There's something oddly endearing about Albus's flashbacks in particular, and it gives the whole story a unique tone of reflection.

Quite probably they would laugh, my darling, and you mustn’t blame them for it: the Dark Arts and poetry are hardly ordinary bedfellows. I love this line so much. I shouldn't find anything endearing about the terror of Europe, former dictator and Dark Lord, but honestly? Bless his irretrievably dark, twisted and yet unashamedly nerdy soul. I love Grindelwald. What has this story done to me that I'm saying that?

Christmas aesthetics. I feel truly blessed. Thank you for this

Where you were Germanic steel, beautiful and strong and unyielding, he was light and eager and so very pliable beneath my hands. I love this line so much. Germanic steel. Your imagery is flawless.

10/10 as always. I'm in love with your writing this is a problem

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! :) Thank you so much for stopping by (again :P) - it's the most amazing run of reviews! :)

Gah, thank you so much! :) It was a strange sort of way to structure it for me - I wrote the first section of the first chapter and wasn't sure whether or not to include it, really, but left it in in the end - especially because I know I struggle with substance in chapters, and it felt a lot like avoiding that. I'm just so glad you like it! :)

I would say I'm sorry, but I'm actually just really happy, haha. I had a really solid view of Gellert when I started writing this, and I really wanted to make it less a clear-cut, good v evil, thing, so I'm so glad you like him, since that means I've kinda succeeded? Maybe... :P And yes, he is very nerdy. Though I wouldn't tell him that ;)

I had to write a Christmas chapter at some point! :P Gah, you're welcome - I loved writing it, so I'm just glad you liked it! :)

(Funny story: I was doing a lot of EU Business stuff at the time, and they always used to use the example of German steel for it. So that's sort of how that came about :P)

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review - it was amazing to get, really! Thank you! :)

Aph xx

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Review #50, by ad astraL'optimisme: Bulgaria

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin


This is stunning writing. I don't know how you manage it but every chapter of this story has been impossibly better than the last, and your depiction of Gellert here is incredible. Absolutely chilling, terrifying in its intensity and remorselessness, and so brilliantly done.

I want the memories of that place, the blood and the tears and the power I poured into that land to come back to me; I want it to possess me again, I want to feel it wrap around me and fill me until I choke on it.

I want the thrill of being unstoppable again.

This gave me chills, there's no other way of putting it, and I'm just in awe of your talent here. Gellert's euphoria at finding the Elder Wand, the sense of invincibility which echoes through every word - this is phenomenal writing.

that as much as I might have been the dawn, you were the sunset. This is such an incredible line to end on. I sound like a stuck record but your writing is absolutely mindblowing and this chapter goes above and beyond anything I expected.

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! :D Okay, okay, you're going to have to forgive me on this one because I really have absolutely no idea how on earth I'm going to respond to this properly. English has abandoned me (I joke, but seriously, there are no words *hug*).

I really, really love writing Gellert. Well, both of them really, but there's something almost freeing about writing someone who just doesn't care and is so unapologetic about the way he is and what he enjoys and the things he does and has done. It's so much fun, and I liked getting the chance in this chapter to show him being, well, a bit more of a dark lord :P

Thank you so so much - this was a scene I knew I had to write from the beginning, and I looked forward to it so much, even though it wasn't very far in, so I'm just so so glad you liked it, really :)

It's strange, actually, because that's one of the few lines I've ever written before the rest of the chapter :P I just liked the metaphor too much - I like colours and references to colours, so it sort of came from there :)

Thank you so so much for the incredible review, and I'm really sorry for the awful response in return :)

Aph xx

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