Reading Reviews From Member: Ravenclaw333
  
251 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Ravenclaw333Pure Intentions: Red Hot

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #6

I'm glad I have the opportunity to actually reread/review parts of this story individually rather than going through it all in one fell swoop. You've done such a good job here with characterisation and emotions, particularly with Scorpius, and outlining the tensions between him, his family, Rose's family and of course Albus. I loved your line about how Scorpius's love for a man didn't matter to his family, but could be accomodated with a woman - that says it all regarding the Malfoy attitudes to sexuality. The Weasleys are brilliantly done as well - Hugo being the inappropriate little brother, Hermione trying to be polite, Ron being downright hostile.

I forgot how messy the whole Albus/Scorpius/Rose triangle is, and you do such a good job with illustrating it without a big confrontation scene between them. Brilliant job, as always!

Author's Response: Lisaa!!

I'm so thrilled you came back for parts of this. I think red hot is my favorite chapter from PI. Scorpius is a bit complicated here. he's fighting through wanting to meet his parent's expectations but also be as happy as he can be in the situation. I did like pointing out the Malfoy's hypocrisy when it came to love. Hugo is my favorite minor character in this just because he's so snarky.

one difficult thing when I was writing this was that I didn't want some huge knock-out-drag-out fight with this love triangle. It was a challenge.

THANKS FOR A WONDERFUL REVIEW!

-Rose


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Review #27, by Ravenclaw333Waiting on You: Waiting on You

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

I SAID I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO REVIEW THIS AND EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT I HOPE THE SENTIMENT IS STILL THERE

This is such a cute wee one-shot! You've characterised Albus really nicely here - touching on the pressures he feels because of his family and how Scorpius is a refuge from that. I particularly love the line "It was different and refreshing to ignore last names, rather than dwell on the complexities that came with them," and I think that's a major factor with this ship in particular. The way you dealt with coming out and being ready to do that was really well done and woven nicely in with the romantic aspect - all in all, an excellent first slash story! You should definitely write more :)

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Review #28, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Plans and Preparations

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Kiana oh my God this line is incredible: ďIt was as if the room was waiting for them to decay so they could become a permanent fixture of it.Ē I have no words for how perfect this is so Iím just going to leave it here. And the line about how Scorpius didnít feel like a Ravenclaw, because all he wanted to do was give up and not solve the problem Ė oh man, I know that feeling. I know that feeling so well and Ravenclaw isnít as much a part of my identity as it is Scorpiusís Ė well, Iím assuming not. The juryís out on that one.

IíM SO WORRIED ABOUT RASHIDI

Roseís self-awareness in this chapter is fantastic. Not going to lie, I was waiting for her to stand back and go ďI done goofed guys,Ē and now it seems she has.

YOU DID THE THING AGAIN. THE THING DESCRIBING CHARACTERS THROUGH THE EYES OF ANOTHER AND I LOVE SEEING HERMIONE THROUGH HUGOíS EYES YES OKAY

HERMIONE GRANGER ON A MISSION. YES. GOOD.

Okay I need to stop throwing your own writing back at you but this line, ďPretending to be brave when it wasnít your natural inclination was a great downfall of many,Ē is just such a good one and I love it and itís perfect and contrasts Scorpius so brilliantly with Rose and Ravenclaw with Gryffindor, and I am ALL ABOUT how those two houses are natural opposites and you show that so well in that one line and Iím getting philosophical so itís time to MOVE ON

Author's Response: Hahaha, aw, I'm glad that you liked it! Yes, it's another we all need to hug Scorpius so he can feel somewhat ok again even though I'm not sure if that's possible. It must suck a lot when you reach that stage of despairing especially when lives depend on it, so poor Scorpius lets go and hug him!

YOU SHOULD BE.

Bahahaha, go Rose, she might do in a bit. :P

YAY I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT THIS IS HUGO'S ONLY CAMEO. BUT HERMIONE IS GOING TO KICK SOME BOOTY AND MAYBE SOME OF THE OTHERS MIGHT DO IT WITH HER.

Yay I'm glad you liked it because it is strange how much the house stereotypes can be applied to people later on in their lives and it still continues to haunt them. I do think Ravenclaws and Gryffindors are actual opposites too though which is why Scorose is so fab and philosophicalness is great as I study it so I welcome it with open arms!

Thanks for another great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #29, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: To Anywhere

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Ah, Iím so excited for more details on the 1920s crew! I love the amount of historical detail you throw into this story and how you manage to make them so real and believable and human Ė so often I see characters in historical settings who are written to be almost alien, their personalities buried or entirely dictated by their era Ė but thereís something timeless about a directionless young man wandering around abroad and jumping on expeditions in Egypt for funsies.

Also, I really like that line about Rose wondering if her Ďgoalí is Acanthus or home Ė it shows how the whole thing is taking a toll on her sense of adventure and determination, while making it clear sheís not panicking and eager to get back.

Iím honestly so curious about this whole situation and whether everything is as it seems (probably not, Iím guessing) and what the í20s Crew are keeping from them.

OH. OH ITíS MAGIC. OH THERE ARE WANDS. OH THIS IS AN EXCITING DEVELOPMENT

WAIT SCORPIUS KILLED SOMEONE? OR IS SCORPIUS GOING TO KILL SOMEONE? I GUESS THATíS LINEAR TIME THROWN WELL OUT THE WINDOW

Author's Response: Whoo hi Lisa!

Yay for more details! I'm so glad that you liked it as the 20th century is one of my favourite eras of history even if I was born in it (gah, it makes me feel so old :P) as there were so many discoveries like these in Egypt it really was a lot of fun to write because there's modernity in a way, but then something still classic about this era.

Yeah, it's around this point that Rose begins to feel more and more tied to the 1920s as well as home which is really interesting because it just shows how much you can change.

Yes they are magical which means the developments with the 1920s crew are even more interesting and fun and I hope you liked them! Ooooh, yes the revelation about Scorpius also ties in with the 1920s crew being magical so bear that in mind as it could mean something, something really big so yeah just keep thinking about that!

Thanks for another fab review :D

-Kiana


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Review #30, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Wicker Lines

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

There are SO MANY DIFFERENT GENRES AND ASPECTS TO THIS STORY IT'S A MARVEL YOU ARE MARVELLOUS

No, but really. You're intertwining two very different stories and moods in this chapter and they both fit seamlessly with the other and with the rest of the story. Scorpius's point of view is dark and frightening and suspenseful, and you still manage to include humanising details in the midst of all the action that give more insight into Scorpius's character, motivations and insecurities - it's incredibly well done.

Rose's story offers a much lighter tone by contrast (I'm a bit worried how long that will last though) and hers is the true tale of adventure - really, the way you've woven these genres together to make a multi-faceted and endlessly fascinating storyline is such a credit to you.

Author's Response: Hahaha, thank you! I did try and include a bit of everything as it's more fun that way so I'm glad you liked it!

Whoo for darkness and suspense with Scorpius. I'm really glad that you liked it and exploring his psychological aspect too, as it's strange for a Malfoy to be in this position when you think about it as they're the ones usually doing the terrorising.

It will last for quite a few more chapters so don't worry I'm not that cruel! I'm really glad that you like the sense of adventure though as Rose does go off and do a lot more exploring so whoo for that :D

Thanks for another great review, Lisa! :D

-Kiana


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Review #31, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: A Kaleidoscope

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

WHAT IS GOING ON IíM SO CONFUSED WHAT HAPPENED THIS STORY IS A ROLLERCOASTER AND I WAS NOT PREPARED

I DO NOT TRUST CHARLOTTE WRIGHT I DO NOT TRUST HER IN THE SLIGHTEST

Wait WHAT

WHAT IS GOING ON

I donít have this reaction to stories very often and thatís a massive credit to you, even if all Iím doing is capslock shouting about how confused I am and getting things WRONG at every turn but I suppose this is the most realistic way of portraying my reactions to this story I am so intrigued right now

A WWI veteran do you know what youíre doing to my inner history geek right now THIS IS SO EXCITING AND SO GREAT IíM SORRY ABOUT ALL THE CAPS

Author's Response: I AM SORRY. PLEASE DON'T BE TOO CONFUSED. BUT WHY CHARLOTTE SHE MIGHT BE YOUR POTENTIAL BFF LISA, DON'T JUDGE TOO SOON. OKAY.

Aw, thank you and the capslock is fine as it's just making me laugh a lot (in a good way!) if I'm honest, but all will make sense in the end, all of it will!

Yay for inner history geek, because geekiness is so much fun! And don't apologise about the caps, they were great as was this review!

-Kiana


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Review #32, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Before the Storm

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

The adventure has started! I like how youíve already brought everything down to earth, with the opening and Scorpiusís observations about how the sense of adventure has worn off with the monotonous trek, and then the sandstorm and Roseís realisation that she may have brought them into far more danger than sheíd anticipated.

I love Scorpius and Lorcan. And their Clawness. And now Iím wondering if it would be possible for an innovative wizard with a thorough grounding in Muggle sciences to actually magically prevent things like sandstorms. I think I love that conversation a little too much.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD KIANA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHAT JUST HAPPENED OH MY GOD

Author's Response: It has!! Though it's not as exciting as they all thought but I guess that's the thing with exciting stuff as it's never as great as it turns out to be. Bahaha Clawness, I think that's my new favourite word. I did too, until it started getting too sciency and my brain couldn't handle it but I'm glad you liked it.

DUN DUN DUN. #SORRYNOTSORRY #READON #ITWILLBEOKAGAIN #MAYBE

Thanks for a fab review, Lisa :D

-Kiana


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Review #33, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: The Tale of Acanthus

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

So I have such a weakness for seeing characters through the eyes of others and I think it just gives them so much more depth and complexity and it's the best thing because I adore characterisation and so I love seeing Rose through Scorpius's eyes, it brings out these new aspects to her and I love the comments about how she's always so confident and sure of herself, and the line about how she 'charged into people's lives unexpectedly.'

So, yeah. I'm really excited about the change in perspective for this chapter - and the insights into Scorpius's character and career. Translating hieroglyphics sounds wicked awesome.

And the mythology makes an appearance! I'm so excited for this story, I really am, and the way you've already questioned the lines between history and myth is awesome and I can't wait okay this is my jam

ROSE IS SO IMPULSIVE OH MY GOD ROSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT TO MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF BUT WOW

GRYFFINDORS AMIRITE

Dalila and her family are lovely and so well characterised and I kind of love them. And Rose is going! And she's taking Dalila! I'm so excited!

Onward!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really glad you liked it too, as I'm a massive fan of it because then you just get a wider perspective and when writing if one character's being annoying you can always hope that the other one will be nicer so you cna switch to them :P

Yay for excitement and Scorpius, anything to do with him is pretty exciting if I am being honest :p (massive Scorpius fan sitting right here in case you didn't guess :P)

Yayyayayaya for it being your jam as it will come up again and again and again and pretty much again until you're annoyed with it.

DON'T WORRY IT'S JUST GRYFFIES BEING A BIT CRAY CRAY AS USUAL.

Yay it's turning into a group outing so whoo it should be fun! Thanks for another fab review though :D

-Kiana


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Review #34, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Souks and Surprises

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I'm going to restrain myself from gushing about your imagery for the next eighteen chapters because that may get a bit repetitive, but you do such a fantastic job of bringing this story and its setting to life, and I couldn't let that pass without comment.

I love Rose. I love her overeagerness and the way she comes across as a bit too forward - whether that's inexperience or cultural difference or a mixture of both - and it's a really good detail to throw in. The scene with Dalila was well done, and you've captured the speech pattern of a non-native English speaker well. The contrast between Rose before and after the interview is excellent - the way a small success can change your whole outlook on where you are and what you're doing.

Scorpius is a Ravenclaw! I can't wait to meet him in this story

FEELING BAD FOR TURNING DOWN SHOPKEEPERS/PEOPLE TRYING TO SELL YOU STUFF I KNOW THAT FEELING SO WELL I AM EXACTLY LIKE ROSE

Ah yay! Scorpius! Do I detect a bit of attraction on Rose's part?

Onwards!

Author's Response: Bahaha, it's fine as it makes me smile a ton! I'm so glad that you like it though and that it gives the story setting because whoo everyone loves that!

Yay for Rose too! I'm glad you liked her forwardness, because I was sort of going for a mix there, because when I've been in Arabic countries I've always noticed westerners are a lot more forward than everyone else. I'm glad you liked the Dalila scene as it's the start of something big really.

Of course he's a Ravenclaw, all the best people are in that house so he had to be part of it too :P

I FEEL BAD FOR IT TOO. ESPECIALLY WHEN MY MUM'S LIKE ASK FOR A LOWER PRICE THEY EXPECT BUT I CAN'T AS I FEEL MEAN SO I END UP PAYING THE FULL OVERPRICED PRICE.

Ooh maybe you do ;)

Thanks for another great review, Lisa! :D

-Kiana


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Review #35, by Ravenclaw333Acanthus: Spectrum

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi Kiana!

I've been meaning to read this story for a while now - it's been on my list for ages and keeps catching my eye - ancient cities? Mythology? Rose Weasley? Yes please - and I figured itís time I sat down to R&R.

This chapter drew me in from the beginning. You have a gift for imagery, and I could picture the scene perfectly in my head - the bustle of the office, the "festival feel" and the frantic rush to get everything finished before the deadline. I loved your introduction of Rose - you've painted a very clear picture of her right from the beginning, as a serious and ambitious young woman wanting to escape her parents' shadow - and having her as less successful than her parents and Hugo as well is something I haven't seen many authors do with Rose before. And Molly a squib! I'm already fascinated by your interpretation of the Next Gen characters - and Ginny! This is beyond perfect.

I'm reviewing as I read for the first time, so I should probably cut this short and move on to the next chapter before you end up with an essay. Brilliant first chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Lisa!

Haha, yes I love all sorts of things like that too, so now it's finished it's like give me more, give me more, I can't let it go now!

I'm so glad that you liked it because this was the first time I actually took care with my description and tried to make it work, so this chapter will always be very dear to my heart for that reason :P Yay for Rose! I already wrote the successful version of her where she's loved by all so I really wanted to write a different one because I figured it would be a lot more fun that way, so I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks for this fab review, and I wouldn't have minded an essay at all! :D

-Kiana


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Review #36, by Ravenclaw333Riddikulus: Riddikulus

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #4

Oh, wow. This is such a heartwarming piece and so perfectly done - I had never thought about Minerva's guilt before, the way she would blame herself for every child in her care - because they were children, those who fought in the Battle - who didn't make it, who died on the front lines - this entire scene hit home and is so poignant - you've really shown the scars war leaves behind even on the strongest of people and the cruel, cruel reality of the casualties in the Battle of Hogwarts.

Winky's scene here is perfect. The way you've captured her hesitation, her uncertainty at being treated like an equal or a friend, which is something she's always struggled with, and how she comes through that to offer Minerva words of comfort and truth - it's so moving, and you've done a phenomenal job with this whole piece. Well done.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I know that Winky/McGonagall seems like an odd pair at first, but I really thought they would balance each other out.

Minevra certainly has survivors guilt, and I thought it may be the only thing that make her break down at the end of the war.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the wonderful review!



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Review #37, by Ravenclaw333Event 3 ~~ Sunlight, Moonlight: Sunlight, Moonlight

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review - Educational Decree #4

Hey Leonore! I remember you posting about this in the CR during Event 3, and even though you don't normally write fluff I think you've done a really good job with this piece! You've captured the atmosphere beautifully, and I love your characterisation of Ollivander - simultaneously reverential and pragmatic, and the contrast between the beauty of the moment and Ollivander's concerns about collecting materials for wandmaking really brings that out. There's something sacred in the moment you've created here, and it really is very well done.

Good work!

Author's Response: Thank you! That's right, I don't usually write fluff, but I'm getting a little bit more into it now. This story was a bit out of my comfort zone, and it's so nice to see that it worked! I thought about writing Ollivander a while ago but was a bit concerned about how he's one of those more quirky characters who's hard to get right. So thank you for the reassurance there as well. Just thank you all round!

~ Leo xx


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Review #38, by Ravenclaw333My Little Secrets: Moonlight

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE EVEN THIS TINY LITTLE CHAPTER AND THAT LITTLE SLIVER OF HOPE AND HAPPINESS OF COURSE IT'S ALL A LIE

Ahem. Seeing how Lucy's family have rallied around her is so awesome to see, like it seemed that for such a long time it was just Gwen trying to keep Lucy's head above water and she was failing because it's such a huge burden to bear and nobody can do it alone, but now her extended family are looking out for her as best they can and Fred's writing her letters and it would be SO SWEET EXCEPT FOR THAT END BIT

I love the second to last paragraph, though. Beautiful imagery and a beautiful scene and it just makes my heart ache because of EVERYTHING Sarah why

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Review #39, by Ravenclaw333My Little Secrets: Irregular Beats

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

SARAH WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

OH NO

I know I should have expected something like this BECAUSE I SORT OF KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN BUT STILL OH MY GOD

Okay I'm happy that Lucy's in St Mungo's getting treatment (I hope) for her eating disorder but I feel terrible for her that it got to this point and she's just going to struggle even more and she feels so guilty and WHY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

And given you hate Quidditch and hospital scenes you did a pretty good job of this, especially the Quidditch scene because she was bantering with her cousins and everything seemed to be going well and then YOU HIT ME WITH THIS (also I totally agree with Gwen, hospitals are labyrinthine and I don't know why)

AND A COMMON CONDITION AMONGST WHAT

IT IS TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR THESE EMOTIONS I'M SO WORRIED

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Review #40, by Ravenclaw333My Little Secrets: Harmful or Helpful?

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

This was such a nice chapter, and a real glimmer of hope compared to previous ones - it's really nice to see Lucy have a good day, making a concentrated effort to have a good day, look after herself and make things good for Gwen - I like how you showed that struggle, though, and the way she had to constantly and consciously choose to ignore that invasive voice in her head. And Gwen's support and understanding here is just perfect, and the bit about how Lucy hasn't seen her smile that brightly in a long time just hurts in all the right ways.

I'm really worried about the next few chapters though - this happiness isn't going to last, is it? /knocks wood

Onwards!

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Review #41, by Ravenclaw333My Little Secrets: The Walls Are Falling Down Around Us

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

God. This chapter. This chapter was fantastic, full of turmoil and desperation and pain and it's AMAZING. You did an excellent job with portraying that turmoil in your style of writing, and those last few paragraphs were perfect, just perfect, the way they showed how much Gwen is taking on trying to look after Lucy and Lucy's realisation that in hurting herself she's hurting the girl she loves - it was written so well, and her awareness, her knowledge that things are falling apart and there's nothing she can do to stop it - ahhh. I have no words except that you've gotten inside Lucy's head and you bring us there too and it's desperate and hurting and messy and so GOOD and I love love love this line:

A fragmented relationship held together by the intertwining of hands.

Perfect.

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Review #42, by Ravenclaw333My Little Secrets: When Things Were That Easy

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Firstly, I loved the flashback here. I remember reading this back when I was reading/reviewing your entries for the Ladies Loving Ladies challenge and recognising a certain something in your style - the way you write characters falling in love, being enraptured by the other and reverential, I suppose, is such a credit to you and such a distinctive part of what I've always associated with your writing, so kudos.

The meeting with the parents was really well done, as well. Lucy's anxiety was so well done and believable, and I'm glad you made her parents so supportive - though disappointed that Lucy didn't tell them earlier. It really rings true as an understandable reaction, especially coming from parents who obviously already know something of Lucy's fragile mental state. I wish more writers imbued their parental figures with the understanding and sensitivity you've shown here from the Weasleys, because nine times out of ten they really do just want the best for their kids.

Excellent chapter!

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Review #43, by Ravenclaw333My Little Secrets: The Voices Inside Your Head

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

So I have to confess I've read this first chapter a couple of times and haven't reviewed because I'm terrible, but I'm (hopefully) going to make up for that now.

Firstly, I love the premise of this story, and you're really taking the road less travelled by having a character who is both gay and struggling with an eating disorder - there's already such a complexity to Lucy and you've handled that complexity so far with ease, sympathy and sensitivity, while making Lucy's emotions real (so real, so many of these lines really hit home, especially the invasive thoughts caused by her eating disorder, and kudos to you for portraying them so well) Obviously the details on what happened at the party are a bit hazy, but whatever happened to out her - God, I feel so terrible, I really do, because any kind of attention at all makes her nervous and brings her self-loathing to a head and I can't imagine what it would be like to be outed without even remembering it, in such a public setting.

Fantastic start! Onwards!

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Review #44, by Ravenclaw333Event 3: At Night's End: The sun sings lullabies.

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Do you ever just read a piece of prose so beautiful you have to sit back and take a moment to rethink your entire life? Because that's what this piece just made me do.

This is such a beautiful and heartwarming friendship that you've explored here, and your characterisation of Luna through the eyes of Ollivander is nothing short of perfect. I love Ollivander himself, and that line about controlling and exploiting magic through skill and scholarship is such a wonderful one and so very Ravenclaw, and there's so much beauty in knowledge and even more in the things we cannot know or understand completely, and everything about this piece just seems threaded through with something beautiful and otherwordly. The dawn light, the physical presence and tangibility of magic - the exploration of these makes your writing shine. You have such a flair for perfect imagery and perfect description and this piece is just beautiful, there's no other word for it, completely and utterly beautiful and a joy to read.

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Review #45, by Ravenclaw333a slow shattering: the mirror thrown to the ground

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

God, Emily, this story is incredible.

You write the horror of Lavender's situation so well, and her trauma and her hopelessness and the way nobody takes her seriously, and her fear - her fear is palpable, tangible, terrifying in and of itself and you've done such a wonderful, wonderful job with this piece, I'm in awe.

This is one of those stories that leaves me without capability of anything approaching coherent thought, but I'm going to throw some compliments at you and hope they make sense.

Everything you write is so real. The style you use is absolutely perfect for Lavender and her mental state and reflects it so very well, adding a depth and realism and horror to this story quite unlike anything I've seen before. And the ending - when she realises she hasn't seen her parents - that killed me, it really did, because she's so alone and are her parents dead? Why haven't they come to see her? The thought of her so alone and terrified, left with nothing except these images in her head which won't go away and the scars on her face and this label - this label of crazy which just invalidates every aspect of her existence - it hurts so much. I can't even begin to count the things I love about this story but it has so much impact and empathy and poignancy and it's just a triumph, Emily, it really is. 10/10.

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Review #46, by Ravenclaw333Nicotine: I've Been Hijacked

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

I remember reading this story a while ago and I don't know why I didn't review - probably because I'm terrible - but this is an incredible piece - it's dark and painful and so very well done. You handle the theme of domestic abuse with sensitivity and realism - how she stays even though she knows he's destroying her, because she's addicted - the metaphor of nicotine works so well here, and I love how you've linked the words of the song, the reality of the cigarettes and the imagery of addiction and craving. This is honestly such a powerful piece, especially with the ending when she does get out and takes her life back.

Incredible piece, definitely among your best, and really, really well done.

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Review #47, by Ravenclaw333All Grown Up: Looking Down

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

When I clicked on this story I knew it was going to hurt - but it's a bittersweet kind of hurt, if that makes sense? You've managed to inject hope and light into something that has the potential to be incredibly dark and depressing, and that's something I really do associate with your writing - a kind of relentless optimism, I suppose. And this story is a shining example of that.

I loved your opening, especially the line "and if you just tried a little harder you could still be alive." I don't know why that rings so true for me, because it's not like I have a lot of firsthand experience of dying, but it does and it adds so much.

This was a really sweet scene to choose as well, and Tonks's mixed feelings about looking down from above - how she'd seen the moments other parents missed out on, like the Sorting and the first kiss, but how she couldn't touch him or talk to him - was really well done. There's just the right amount of wistfulness in this piece, but the pride and hope of Remus and Tonks at the end is the image that lasts. Beautiful piece!

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Review #48, by Ravenclaw333Running into Weasley: Running into Weasley

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Ah, so this is where it all begins! I maybe should have checked this one out before your JulNo for a bit of background, but I'm here now!

Oh, Rosalia. You adorable, insane dork. That's one way to get a guy to notice you, I suppose - repeatedly walking into him. It's difficult to ignore somebody at such close range.

There are a couple of grammatical errors - mainly apostrophes in places where there shouldn't be apostrophes, but it's nothing a beta couldn't pick up if you ever wanted to revise this story.

This was just a really sweet 'slice of life' snippet, and a unique twist on the 'overcoming adversity' prompt! Your style really suits this genre, and I love the insights into Rosalia's mind and her witty narration of everything. Good stuff!

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Review #49, by Ravenclaw333Falling for Weasley: Mr. Cuddleworth

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

OKAY SO I WASN'T KIDDING ABOUT DROPPING TEN REVIEWS I'M GONNA DO IT IT'S GONNA HAPPEN ARE YOU PUMPED COZ I AM

Mr Cuddleworth is my fave. Cat dialogue, yo, it's the best thing ever.

This was honestly a perfect 'first date' chapter - and not because it was a perfect first date but because it was so absolutely NOT perfect. You've made everything so much more realistic, and in that you've managed to show far more of the characters than if everything had gone to plan - Louis thrown off guard, endearingly awkward and flustered - he seems to be a pretty suave kinda dude ordinarily, and you've shown a few different aspects of his character even in this intro chapter, so I'm really looking forward to seeing him develop further!

Rosalia is a cutie. Her inner monologue is great - witty, matter-of-fact, a bit dorky. I think I relate to her a bit too much. Especially the talking-to-her-cat thing. Making her Italian is a nice touch as well - I'm hoping for more details about her tiny Italian school as the story goes on.

The way they related to each other was really well done as well - the awkwardness at the start, the banter, especially on their way home, and then more parting awkwardness - it's so true to the early stages of a relationship and really well done. Great first chapter!

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Review #50, by Ravenclaw333True Romance: The Love You Save (May Be Your Own)

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

I figured I may as well win some points for Ravenclaw with my customary AHH YOU UPDATED verbal flailing. Anyway. Chapter.

I love Rose. Go Rose. Rose is perfect and I love how she was so quick to jump on Archie's comments and how she came by to see Brandon and the baby she's just so lovely and thoughtful and I am a huge huge Rose Weasley fan.

George's advice to Albus was excellent - I can really see him pulling no punches when it comes to giving advice to his nieces and nephews, and you've characterised him really well here.

Brandon's mum is lovely. She's obviously got some old-fashioned ideas but she loves Brandon unconditionally and I love that bit about how she's have been disappointed if he did bend to social norms - it says a lot about both of them and it was just a really lovely detail to throw in.

Fingers crossed for Albus and Brandon to finally see each other again next chapter (no pressure!)

Author's Response: YAY FOR FLAILING FOR HC POINTS!

Rose is quite keen to not put up with that kind of talk from people - especially someone new like Archie. OF COURSE SHE HAD TO GO SEE BABY SAVAGE!

I'm glad you like geoerge's advice. I've had mixed feedback on it. You and I see him the same when it comes to advice - it's not often dispersed but is done so with a firm intention.

Bea is a bit old-fashioned as you spotted but I'm so happy her love was also evident. She's definitely accepting of Brandon but has a pull towards tradition. I like having her as a contrast to someone like Archie.

Thank you so much for a beautiful review!


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