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Reading Reviews From Member: timeturner
  
487 Reviews Found

Review #26, by timeturnerBehind the Eyes of Viktor Krum: Feinting Victory

10th June 2007:
Your story was chosen as this week's Validator's Pick and is showcased on the HPFF blog. Congratulations!

Author's Response: Hm... being completley computer inept, I haven't the foggiest idea of what that means. It sounds good though, so thank you!

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Review #27, by timeturnerDiamond.: Flawed Perfection

9th June 2007:
I had a little more trouble with this chapter. Again, the writing, description and dialogue is terrific but the premise itself is disconcerting. Having tried to write Sirius at 11 myself I know the tendency is to place him with years more maturity than he has. The same is true for Amelia…you are attempting to portray her as someone more mature than those her own age. You succeed in doing this but by concentrating so much on getting that point across you’ve lost her youth…there are no traces of an 11 year old in this particular chapter. The reason I bring it up is because Sirius, no matter his age, manages to keep his youthgul zeal for life no matter his age. I’m worried that by taking away all remnants of youth you are setting yourself to have readers rebel on you in later chapters where Sirius helps bring out the more fun and adventurous side of Amelia. Anywho, it’s just food for thought because I’ve had that happen to myself and would hate to see it happen to you because you have such a wonderful story going here.


The pace was good, the interactions at the party excellent and only a few tiny errors caught my attention as interrupting the story flow. I really enjoy this story and am so very sorry that it takes me so long to get the reviews posted. I love the insight you’ve given Sirius into her character – it’s wonderful and refreshing to see him portrayed as a boy/man who isn’t completely absorbed by his own life. I like that you’ve given him characterization of his own while still relating his life back to Amelia and keeping them intertwined. I keep hoping for that “romantic moment” when they realize their lives aren’t that different…that they only react to them differently. That’s the true mark of a great story…when a reader is hanging on with bated breath waiting for a moment to happen. It’s a hook that will keep bringing people back and you are doing great at it.


Author's Response: Yay! Thanks so much for the second review! Yes, Sirius was a bit tricky to write here... I'm more used to thinking of him as a teenager. I'll try and add a bit more youth into him when I go through my whole story so far in the summer (thought not too much, of course).
Amelie... I made her older because she made herself like that on purpose after her father left her. Perhaps I overdid it...
Ah, the "romantic moment"... it shall be quite different, shall we say. But then again, with two characters like these, who could expect anything orthodox? They are - really - disconcertingly similar characters. Hence the clash that happens so often.
But - That’s the true mark of a great story…when a reader is hanging on with bated breath waiting for a moment to happen. It’s a hook that will keep bringing people back and you are doing great at it. *blinks*. wow. thanks so much! I really do not mind however long it takes you to review, because every single one is lengthy and full of advice and ego-boosting compliments! Thanks so0o much! =D


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Review #28, by timeturnerThe Long Black Veil: The Long Black Veil

28th May 2007:
yes, bribery works. And this is one phenomenal piece of work here. It's hard to believe you haven't written them before. Truly, I love this. It's going straight into my favs. Thank you *hugs*

Author's Response: Three cheers for bribery! I'm rather relieved that you enjoyed this, since it was written for you. And don't thank me, I'm the one who got points for it, so I'm the one who thanks you!

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Review #29, by timeturnerIce Blue: Ice Blue

28th April 2007:
Nicely done. I like the comparison you've made here and, of course, I love Sirius. You have a great balance of description and narrative here and the last line is quite poetic and brings all the readers senses together. Nicely done.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. And who doesn't love Sirius, other than the Death Eaters, his family, the Slytherins... and yeah. Thanks for reviewing, timeturner! =)

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Review #30, by timeturnerLet's go home: Let's go home

15th June 2006:
Dramatic and melancholy at the same time. This is wonderful, summer. I loved the descriptions at the beginning and the dialogue later on drew me into the characters and their emotions amazingly well. I really have no constructive comments because the plot, timing, everything was just perfectly done.

Author's Response: Really?! Wow! :D Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! :D

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Review #31, by timeturnerReflections: Reflections

15th June 2006:
I enjoyed this. It was a bit short and I didn't quite understand the reference back to Ginny as I don't recall the two of them ever spending time together but, then, I tend to ignore Ginny as much as possible :P The beginning took me a bit...at first it seemed out of charactermuch like what I'd expect to find from a teenage Sirius rather than after James' death. But after several readings of it, I decided that perhaps it's just your different take on his character than me. Molly, after all, and Hermione too both believed Sirius to e a bit immature and acting younger than his age. That's the part of his character you tuned in to here and it was a nice surprise (once I took the time to analyze it!) It's nice to see how different authors portray the characters and Sirius, of course, is my very favorite to read about. Very well done!

Author's Response: Of course, Sirius and Ginny spent time together. They lived under one roof for a whole summer. Don't you think they would not have talked at all? As Ginny is the smallest, she would have this little things to do, like wake up F/G or Sirius, or "help me in the kitchen" that kind of stuff....

Anyway, I am getting you don't like Ginny much. Why so?

I wrote Sirius just as I imagine him to be. Still witty and humorous, although he is an adult now.

Thanx so much for your time and review, Linda! *hugs*


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Review #32, by timeturner:

15th June 2006:
Definetly as good as the last chapter. I loved the introduction of Lupin (you seem to have a great knack for bringing in characters in a realistic manner) and the comment about James being amused of the publicity made me giggle. No real comments here, I can definetly see how much you've taken to this story and have started to let your writing loose as it progresses...all to the benefit of us readers!

Author's Response: Thanks!! James, yes, well. YOU'RE the one who can write the Marauder boys so well, I'm not so talented, but I did think that James being who he was (prior to the Voldemort seriousness), he might have enjoyed his son having a bit of popularity...he seemed to enjoy it himself. Thanks for the compliment about the character entry! I had all the characters in mind that I was going to tie in, and it was actually quite easy placing them as I have. They just popped up in the story as I was writing, right on cue, I almost feel like it wasn't my decision at all sometimes. I sit down to write, and I have a vague idea of where I want to go, I put my fingers to the keys and it just comes or it doesn't. Luckily enough, this story's been coming along nicely. Thanks again so very much!! :)

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Review #33, by timeturner:

15th June 2006:
Oh, I really liked this one! Everything seemed to come together great in this chapter! The dialogue, description the introduction of Malfoy...it was all perfectly plotted and timed to keep me reading on and on. Great work on this one!

Author's Response: Yeah, as I wrote this one it became my favorite. I've since chosen otherwise...LOL...but this one I'm still real proud of. Not sure you know what it means to me that you of all people are enjoying my story even at all, when I respect your work so immensely. Thanks so much!! :)

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Review #34, by timeturner:

15th June 2006:
Ah, now this is the first time I’ve seen any formatting errors from you. Well, not actually errors but the spacing makes the story difficult to read if you re reading it off of a screen. Just something to keep in mind because the easier it is for your readers, the more they will enjoy the story. You have Harry and Ginny down great…they came out perfectly in this scene. Their were a few grammatical errors in this one and that leads me to believe you may have hurried along in writing this chapter…the earlier chapters seemed like you took your time with. But I liked the banter and dialogue in this chapter more than the previous ones…it all seemed to come together extraordinarily well in this chapter. Looks like you are getting things down as I read on!

Author's Response: This is a satisfying comment for me, because I think this is my least favorite chapter so far. I'm never sure HOW to write Ginny, for she has so little time in the books, I mean it's all recent and I've not got a thread on just how I see her. Everytime I write her in a story I feel like it's just a shot in the dark. So it really makes me happy that you've said that Harry and Ginny were good; getting the characters right, making them feel real, is my number one agenda when I write these. *heading back to check the grammar....*
Thanks again!


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Review #35, by timeturner:

15th June 2006:
Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to posting these! The beginning was a bit abrupt…it was like coming into a tv show right after a commercial break and having to take a minute to get your bearings. A little more description here would help or just drawing out the scene a little longer maybe perhaps tell a bit of what Harry was dreaming and have the images blend in with the color of the sky (great description there!) as he awakens. Again, I lovely the motherly touch you’ve given Hermione here and I really enjoyed the “twisting” of his stomach at the smell of food…I’ve never heard it described like that but that was perfect! The paragraph that begins “later that night” is a bit narrative…you take the reader away from the action and tell them what happened rather than describing it to them. You could try doing it by memory…as Harry lays in bed he recalls Hermione offering to stay and how he didn’t hesitate to agree or something similar. Your dialogue got a lot stronger as this chapter went on and the descriptive passage in the middle about what had transpired in the past was wonderful. That was definitely my favorite part of the whole chapter!

Author's Response: Oh, that's quite alright, I've been watching for you, and I'm glad you finally got to this!! Your comments are the most consrtuctive and thought out of any I think, and I want to thank you for that...and I'll be going over my chapters with your pointers in mind. The "twisting", well, I think mine was twisting just then and that's where the inspiration came from. :) The descriptive part was really tedious to write. I knew what I wanted to have transpired by this time, I just didn't know how difficult it would be to write it all out. But I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'm really very pleased that you think the chapters are getting better as I go, that's very reassuring. :) Thank you so much for all your time and thoughts!! :)

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Review #36, by timeturnerAmoretti: Amoretti

6th June 2006:
It’s so like James to start talking to us and then digress into something else before he remembers what he was supposed to be talking about. Well, I don’t know if he’d act that way but it’s sure the picture I have of him in my head. I laughed out loud with the comment about her being a “fast reader” and the snotty “could they win without me”. Goes perfectly with the arrogance we know of him and you managed to just slip it right in. I cherish my little bit of Sirius that you gave me, although I must admit that I kept hoping Sirius would stride across the room and kiss her. But, alas, James decided to read poetry instead. Couldn’t be that he has a bit of romantic in him, could it? As always, my dear, your stories are always absolutely splendid. I liked how you used the pages to tie everything together..definetly a mundane thing and to tell the truth, it probably would have driven me nuts right along with James :P Wonderful work.



Author's Response: Now that wouldn't work, would it? It'd certainly be a shocker if Lily and Sirius started making out while James looked on. =D Oh goody, I'm glad my James turned out correctly - that his personality was canon. I keep thinking that he's either too arrogant or too sensitive. It's also great that the pages were successfully mundane and maddening. Makes you wonder if Lily was purposely turning the pages so loudly. =P Thanks so much for the review, timeturner. ^_^

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Review #37, by timeturner:

5th June 2006:
Nice beginning…classic beginning of Harry and his dreams. I like how you immediately gave us the time and place and the fact that the war was over. Great way to engage the reader with the setting and getting their mind in the right frame from the start. You have some character flipping issues…you go from Harry’s point of view into Hermione’s which will confuse the reader just a bit. I like the motherly tendency you’ve given Hermione here and how (at least for now) Harry seems to see it only as that. There are a few minor spelling errors here but none that detract too much from the story itself. I like the way you brought in his memories of Ginny and how he take credit for at least some of the detachment between them. The comparison of Harry and Hermione’s Muggle childhoods was a nice way to relate the two and their daily habits. Nice little cliffy stuck in there about Snape as well. Overall, very well done and a nice intro chapter that sets everything up for the rest of the story while leaving enough questions open to make the reader want to read more.



Author's Response: Oh, my God, I'm so glad you started reading this!!! Been hoping you would! I know you're busy...very busy I'm sure. :) Thanks for all your criticism and praise, you can't possibly know what it means to me. Really, thank you so much.

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Review #38, by timeturnerMidnight Bliss: Midnight Bliss

5th June 2006:
Once again, your descriptions blew me away. The dialogue seemed a bit crafted - not realistic, I mean. It seemed to stand out from the story rather than draw me in to the characters. But again, I always came back because you really have a gift for descriptions and settings. Nicely done.

Author's Response: Thank you for the advice and I will consider that in the near future when I write other fics. Thank you so much for reviewing and I know you are very busy. Thanks again. =]

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Review #39, by timeturnerDear Lord Voldemort: Dear Lord Voldemort

5th June 2006:
Lockhart is such an irritating git. Only he would believe he had the right to contact Voldemort with such a snotty self serving request. Obviously, great job on this. Short but complete and a nice change from all the usual perspectives we see around the site. Do you intend on making more of these? It would be interesting to see how some people like Gilderoy might try and contact Voldemort...especially once he gains power again and they think he can help them some how. I'd love to see Voldie's reaction, too! That would be a gast. Again, well done. I liked what you did with this.

Author's Response: WOW! A timetuner review! Thank you very much for that feedback. I really havnt thought of doing any more stories. This one was to some how get through my exams.

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Review #40, by timeturnerOne True Marauder: A Collection of One-Shots: My Escape

5th June 2006:
Lovely descriptions here and I liked that you were able to pull off first person so well, which is often hard to write and even harder for a reader to read. Not here, though. You did a great job pulling me into the scene and carrying me along with the thoughts and events. I like that he's on his way to Harry (a very fitting end and leaves it open for more from this perspective). Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you Linda! I know that I asked for your review, but I really love to get input from some of the best authors on the site (yes, I mean you). I'm also very glad you thought I pulled off first person, and to tell you the truth, it actually wasn't that hard to write. I just get pulled in and let some of my emotions flow onto the paper/computer screen. Well, thanks again for the fantabulous review! -Tamara

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Review #41, by timeturnerThe Fun Part: The Fun Part

5th June 2006:
You know, I've know people who act exactly like that when they drink! They start confessing all kinds of things that they wouldn't otherwise. Maybe that's what Ronnikins needs...a stiff drink or a quick kick in the pants! Anyway, this was really a nice little break from the angst around here. All the angst elements of R/Hr were still there but you dealt with them in a new, creative and very fun way. Nicely done!

Author's Response: Why thank you so much! That means a lot coming from you! I'm glad that you liked it! I really don't like angst a whole lot--not the normal angst anyway. I wasn't even sure if there was any of that in there! I hate drunk people--even if they ARE confessing their long-nursed feelings for me--haha. Ahh, well thanks again for your review! T H A N K S!!!!!!

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Review #42, by timeturnerHate Me: Hate Me

5th June 2006:
You have stunning description in this. Very haunting portrait of not only the setting but your characters as well. I liked the way you portrayed Lucius, keeping him in character but allowing him a weakness in Narcissa as well. Just like a man :P I enjoyed the twist of him being so secure in his life with voldemort only to have that turn against him. As it has so many other characters in the past. You would think he would learn sometime, wouldn't you? Great job, I really enjoyed reading this and you did an excellent job throughout.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'm really glad that you liked the way I described things and how I portrayed the characters. Lucius was who I was worried about the most, so I'm really happy that it came off as a good weakness to you. I wanted to really capture the Malfoys in a different light, because I always read them as hard and verbally abusive or similar to that in some way. Thank you for your compliments. It means a lot to me, coming from you, because you are one of my favorite authors! :o) ~Jessi

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Review #43, by timeturnerNever Meant To Be: Never Meant To Be

30th May 2006:
I can honestly say I've never read this pairing before in my life. You handled it well but I really would like to see this be longer. You left me with a ton of unanswered questions which made this seem a bit off balance. You wrote them very together and they obviously flowed together in your head but I feel like you aren't letting me see everything. I know a lot of people will be against this pairing but I think a good writer can establish any characters together and you've certainly got a good start for that. It may not be the most popular ship but take heart in knowing that your portrayal of it was great and you definetly have the creativity and eye for the "different" that's necessary to make you stand out from the crowd. And, if you do decide to flush out this idea more, let me know and I'd be happy to review it!

Author's Response: Well actually, I did write this one-shot to see how it would be received. It's one of them weird ships I thought of as a joke, but then it just got stuck in my head, and I wasn't sure how folks would see it. So I wrote this to see if I should do a longer one. But then after a while I decided I didn't care what anyone said and began writing it. I want to get a fair bit written before I posted it as time travel is a tricky subject. I know there were a lot of questions, sorry about that, but that's just the way it wrote itself. So yeah, I do plan on 'flushing' this idea out more. Thanks for that timeturner, it's appreciated!

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Review #44, by timeturnerNothing Lasts Forever: Nothing Lasts Forever

30th May 2006:
You know, people usually either write action or something else. Very few people have the ability to craft an action sequence and still manage to keep the characters and their emotions at the forefront of the story. But you have been able to do just that. The action was riveting but, even more, the underlying effects on the characters shone through during the whole event. This was really a compelling read and a great example of how action sequences should be handled by writers. Fantastic!

Author's Response: Omg, Linda, thank you so much for the high-fi compliments and praises!!!!! My head swelled twice its size when I read your review :P. You just made my day, I had been very depressed today since a story of mine isn't getting validated (since 2 days). Oh well...I know it will...okay now I am going off-track ;)

Anyway, thank you sooooo very much the wonderful review. I really appreciate it :)


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Review #45, by timeturnerTones of Sorrow: Tones of Sorrow

30th May 2006:
Oh, i loved this! The idea of the bell was unique but it fits perfectly! Very very creative. Bells often symbolize happiness (weddings and such) but for many they do bring out a somewhat mournful memory or atmosphere. And that's exactly what you created for me here - an atmosphere from the description alone that added to the story. Very very well done!

Author's Response: Thanks timeturner! And I guess I should thank you for the wonderful idea. :) This review has me feeling very happy right now . . . :)

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Review #46, by timeturnerMelody Of The Sycamore Leaves: Melody of the Sycamore Leaves

30th May 2006:
Absolute wonderful. Brings back childhood memories for me of playing in leaves (sycamores even!). This was a nice way to take this challenge and you did great on the description that evoked the memories for her. Excellent story, my dear!

Author's Response: That means so much to me, coming from you timeturner! I've always been a bit boring when it came to description, so to know that I did good for your challenge makes me smile :o) Thank you so much for your great review and I'm glad I brought some memories back for you!! :o) ~Jessi

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Review #47, by timeturnerWho I Am Hates Who I've Been: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

30th May 2006:
Now I now who to go to for Draco advice! This was great. I love how you balanced his internal thoughts against his outward actions. Draco is a very confusing character for me and seeing his inner thoughts helped me tremendously with how he thinks and acts. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Thank you timeturner! I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #48, by timeturnerWaking to a Nightmare: Waking to a Nightmare

30th May 2006:
Nicely done. Once again, quite dramatic and filled with nail biting drama. I like that you took things out of the norm and had the switching of sides that you did here. It was a refreshing change and you pulled it off well. Hermione's character was done well and even with her changes and missing out on so many years, you were able to give her a well rounded characterization even taking into account the years she'd missed. Again, very nicely done!

Author's Response: I know, drama, drama, drama! I'm glad you understood my characterization of Hermione, as many people thought her to be OOC. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a pleasant reivew :)

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Review #49, by timeturnerGoodnight My Daughter, My Darling: Goodnight My Daughter, My Darling

30th May 2006:
Wow, way to make a girl get all teary eyed. This was so heart breaking and sad! You did an excellent job bringing out his emotions to the events going on. Not slipping into melodrama but just enough emotion to keep the reader engaged. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Lol! I am a bit of a drama queen :) I'm so happy you liked my story. Thank you so much for taking the time to review so wonderfully.

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Review #50, by timeturnerMy Soul Searching Trip: My Soul Searching Trip

30th May 2006:
Interesting story premise here. The journey was well written - his bouncing from one attempt at meaning to another very compelling. I liked that Ron and Hermione thought he was off doing something else and you did very well with writing in first person which is always difficult to pull off in a believable manner. Good job!

Author's Response: Interesting story premise? Hehehehe! Yeah, I can come up with strange things. I truly enjoyed making Ron and Hermione believe Harry was off to something else and had ditched them. I'm glad you thought I wrote well in the first person PoV. I normally avoid it, but figure that in some fics it can actually work out, like this one. Thank you very much! :)

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