Reading Reviews From Member: MargaretLane
  
703 Reviews Found

Review #51, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Slytherin - Iellwen

23rd July 2014:
This is such a brilliant chapter. It's so sad and yet, there is a redemptive quality to it too.

I love the relationship between Draco and his parents and the way that Lucius can be so evil to so many people and yet care so deeply about his wife and son.

This chapter makes me feel so sorry for Draco. It brought tears to my eyes. I love the ending where he vows to make up for what he's done by ensuring such a thing will never happen again. I'm crying as I write this.

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Review #52, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

23rd July 2014:
I think you have characterised Slughorn PERFECTLY i the first two paragraphs. He is a most unlikely hero. There apparently used to be a joke in Ireland about being "under the bed" during the 1916 Rising and I'm quite sure that's where Slughorn would like to be. And who can blame him?

Trelawney and the crystal balls is hilarious.

And *laughs at his moment of inspiration coming too late* How typical.

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Review #53, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - kenpo - For You

23rd July 2014:
OK, this almost brought tears to my eyes. It makes perfect sense both that Teddy would feel reluctant to go to Hogwarts and that he wouldn't gain much comfort from the idea his parents died for him. He was far too young to remember what life was like under Voldemort, so he'd have no idea just what the saved him from. I mean, I'm sure he was told, but he's only eleven; he probably can't fully comprehend.

I also like his disillusionment with the fact that even Harry doesn't seem to understand in this situation.

Great chapter.

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Review #54, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff - SereneChaos

23rd July 2014:
*laughs at the revelation at the end that Dumbledore instructed Snape to say all that*

And Snape is so very in-character here with his dismissive way of saying things and the way in which, even when he's being supportive and helpful, he nonetheless sounds scathing.

I like the relationship you've created between Snape and McGonagall, where she doesn't trust him, for obvious reasons and yet, there appears to be an understanding between them.

Great chapter. Sorry the review doesn't do it justice.

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Review #55, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

23rd July 2014:
Yikes, I just LOVE the first line of this chapter. I seem to keep telling you I love stuff, but I do.

I also like the way the repairs appear to be too easy. I think that makes a lot of sense. It would be as if people were trying to wipe out everything that had gone before.

And now the full symbolism of the poppies, which I think you mentioned in your Minerva chapter, is hitting me. It should have anyway, since there are a couple of Irish ballads about World War I, which mention poppies growing on the graves or the battlefields where men died. But I guess I tend to associate it with the British army and World War I, rather than with war in general.

The idea of Thestrals being familiar to all is kind of sad, a reminder of how many people have lost loved ones and been through such traumatic events.

I'm wondering who the girl is. It sounds rather like Luna, like something she'd do and the blonde hair fits.

10 out of 10.

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Review #56, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

22nd July 2014:
LOVE the topic of this story. I was thinking of writing a story about Minerva after the Battle at one point. And my idea involved a conversation with Albus's portrait too.

Why yes, I am going through a couple of your chapters here before reading anybody else's. *laughs*

That is so like Dumbledore. Having an unorthodox but rather practical suggestion. I don't agree with him. I think making a list makes things clearer and it makes you feel you've accomplished something as you tick each one as done. But it's totally in-character for Dumbledore to feel as he does.

And it's a little ironic for him to be reflecting on how wonderful it is to be alive when well, he's dead.

And I like the suggestion of hope at the end.

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Review #57, by MargaretLaneHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

22nd July 2014:
LOVE the part where Kreacher says his previous owner would never have asked him to sit like a friend. It really draws attention to the way in which Kreacher takes his treatment and his status for granted.

I also LOVE Kreacher's instinctive reaction to being offered freedom. If something has always been a cause for fear in your life, you're not going to change your opinion on it overnight.

And I think Harry is far more sensitive here than Hermione was in Goblet of Fire, though of course, he's older and even if two or three years isn't much in actual age, it's a big difference when you are talking about a 15 year old and an almost 18 year old. Plus, they've been through so much that they'd probably have matured even more than the average late teenager anyway.

It's not just the fact that he asked, rather than pushing his views on Kreacher. It's also the fact that he told Kreacher he could still work for him. Unlike Hermione, he seemed to take into account the fact that throwing somebody out of their home in a world where they are unlikely to be able to earn to support themselves isn't exactly helping them. I guess as well as the increased maturity, there's the fact that Harry KNOWS that the alternative to living in an imperfect situation isn't always perfect either - he was pretty scared when he thought he had to leave the Dursleys' at the start of Prisoner of Azkaban - whereas Hermione has never been in the situation of feeling like she has absolutely nobody and no way of supporting herself.

I also like the decision he finally makes. I was sort of expecting him to choose freedom, but considering how long he's lived unfree, I think it makes sense that he might feel more comfortable continuing as he was.

Very unusual topic, although I don't know why it is really, since it's an interesting question: what happened to Kreacher after the war? Great story.

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Review #58, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Pureblood's Secret: Rose's Decision

20th July 2014:
Well, I FINALLY get around to reading this. *sighs* Yeah, I know a day and a bit isn't that long, but I've been trying to find a few moments to do so since yesterday morning.

*cheers for Kaden finding out who was second* That is a good idea.

And I can completely understand Rose's dilemma. I think I'd have felt the same as a teen. I've probably become a little more pragmatic since then, as so many situations have a grey area. At Rose's age, I was far more "nothing justifies doing wrong", "two wrongs don't make a right".

I really think she'll end up agreeing to do it though, unless MAYBE if the person who came second was somebody Matt felt safe with them doing it.

Poor Matt. I guess it's his anxiety that causes him to fear the very worst in any situation where there is the SLIGHTEST chance of somebody finding out about his lycanthropy or anxiety.

Albus hates not knowing anything, doesn't he? I know the feeling though. Once you know the situation, whatever it is, you can start making plans.

I'm laughing at the idea of crazy hair being a side effect.

While I can understand their concerns, I really don't think many people would go to Kendrick. If you don't have the information Al and his friends have, then there really is little suspicious about an ill Potions Master asking a student to assist him with his potions. OK, the question of why he is brewing Polyjuice so often could arise, but most people aren't as inquisitive as Al and I don't think most teenagers would jump to the conclusion that "oh, a teacher is asking me to brew an uncommon potion; I'd better tell the Headmaster in case he's selling it illegally." Though, I guess considering Hogwarts' history with teachers, it might be a more reasonable assumption than it would be in most schools. And I guess "they probably wouldn't figure it out" isn't much consolation when your health and well-being depend on the CERTAINTY that they wouldn't.

OK, I didn't expect Rose to come to that conclusion, though I can understand why she would.

And *grins at the idea of her punching Malfoy* If my Rose (from my next gen) had a friend who was a werewolf or who suffered from anxiety and somebody mocked them over it, she'd probably hex them, but I think your Rose is a little less likely to do so. As a matter of fact, if my Rose heard somebody mocking a classmate over one of those things, she'd probably hex them anyway, even if the person they were mocking WASN'T a close friend.

Matt is lucky his parents HAVE the money. It further emphasises the differences between his life and Stuart Boone's. Healthcare should never come down to money. Actually, our Government has just had a REALLY badly managed assessment of who was entitled to free medical care, including doing things like asking parents to confirm their child still had Downs Syndrome. Understandably, people were panicking, particularly the elderly. The idea of being in a situation like Stuart Boone or Burke, where you can't afford the care you need is just scary.

Yeah, classy and James aren't exactly two words you expect to find in the same sentence. It'll be really interesting to see what happens on the Stag night.

And Teddy does leave it rather last minute, doesn't he? I was recently a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding and she asked us almost two years in advance, shortly after they got engaged.

Author's Response: I would've had a hard time deciding in Rose's shoes, too. Rose is very much a "black and white" type of person, whereas Albus will break rules without thinking if it's to help one of his friends or family (like Harry).

Albus is incredibly nosy. He and Scorpius are very similar in that, although neither one of them would admit it. Haha, the crazy hair is mostly from the humidity the potion causes.

You're right that most people wouldn't go to Kendrick. Most of the kids at Hogwarts would accept the extra credit and not question it, since they'd be grateful for the extra points! No one else has even read the law as deeply as Rose, so most don't know about Polyjuice being illegal to sell anyway.

The mention of Rose's idea of punching Scorpius is a nod to Hermione's punching of Draco in the third book. But since Rose follows the rules so closely, she'd probably never do it.

Matt is very lucky his parents have money. If they didn't, his life would be a lot different. It sucks that so many times healthcare does come down to money (especially in the United States, but I won't get into that).

I can't wait to write the stag night. It's going to be hilarious. Teddy is very much a last minute guy. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #59, by MargaretLaneRainfall: One

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review.

I don't actually have time to read and review this, but I'm doing it anyways, because the idea intrigues me so much.

Love the opening lines. You really portray how confusing it must be not to be able to see what is happening around you. And I love the hint of a close relationship between Hugo and Lily.

Hmm, I wonder what it was that happened to Hermione that caused his blindness.

And that is so in character for Ron, to give up after trying.

*laughs at Rose being overprotective, since that's how she is in my story too* And you've put both Rose and Albus in the same house they're in in my story. *laughs*

You are an awesome writer. You portray everything so well and I'm really looking forward to seeing where this is going.

Author's Response: Lily's the one person who doesn't get awkward as a result of his blindness, who just accepts him and understands him. Plus there's the age connection.

What happened to Hermione and how it caused his blindness will of course be covered in a later chapter!

Well, it must be admitted that people have a tendency to sort characters into their own house. ;) I think Rose is overprotective partly because that's her nature and also because she's used to Hugo needing more attention than most children his age, and to seeing her mother fussing over him.

Thank you :D


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Review #60, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Pureblood's Secret: Nonverbal Spells

11th July 2014:
*laughs at Gemma having already received two Howlers* How many will she have received before leaving Hogwarts?!

*also laughs at John holding his breath*

*cheers for two of the Hufflepuffs managing it* Considering how the house it underrated, it's good to see them outperforming Gryffindor and Slytherin.

Gringotts seems like something Malfoy would choose all right. And ha, his working with Matt's father could get interesting.

Maybe Matt's father is hoping that if Scorius works with him, he'll learn something about what werewolves have to deal with and gain some empathy.

Actually, that's a department which would have to be pretty careful what its interns get to do and see, as much of the work there is pretty confidential, I'd imagine. Though there's probably a lot of routine filing and stuff a teen could do.

That part about Ludbar hadn't occurred to me. Of COURSE, it makes sense he'd hate Flooing after that. What a memory to have to deal with.

Makes sense that the laws about Apparition and how teens learn would vary across the world, as driving ones do. In Ireland, there is now a law that people have to get like 12 professional driving lessons, but parents still teach their sons and daughters as well. A lot of people spend years as learner drivers. Just checked and apparently the provisional licence (learner's permit basically) has to be renewed after two years. Teenagers driving is nowhere near as common here as it appears to be in the U.S. either. A lot of my friends were in their 20s when they learnt. I mean, I also knew people who learnt as 17/18 year olds, but it's not unusual to be older.

I can completely understand why Rose wouldn't be comfortable with this. It'd be different if she didn't know he was likely going to sell it illegally. Even though I have some understanding of Burke's position, I don't think it's right for him to get his students involved in something like that. It's sort of an abuse of his position to use his job as a teacher to see who can make him something he's selling for his own profit. Even if it wasn't illegal, that would be slightly unethical, I think - profiting from work completed by a student, I mean. But obviously the fact it's illegal makes it MUCH more serious.

Author's Response: I ought to have John and everyone take bets on how many howlers Gemma will receive...

Gringotts would be a very popular internship, I think. The role would've fit Malfoy, and I do see him winding up there after he leaves Hogwarts.

There's plenty Malfoy will be able to do without coming across confidential information. Spells can hide the confidential stuff. Matt's dad let Malfoy be the intern because he had to be fair. He couldn't not pick him just because his son doesn't get along with him.

That's what I figured too, with the driving laws. The driving laws are different state to state here. I think the youngest someone can get a permit is 14 and some states make you wait until 17, I believe. NY is 16 except in NYC. You have to be 18 to drive in NYC.

It isn't right that Burke might be making his students brew. And it's definitely understandable why Rose doesn't want to do it. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #61, by MargaretLaneThe Fallen: The Fallen

9th July 2014:
"House Cup 2014 Review"

Love the description of him as the stray wolf. And it is SO in character for Remus to blame himself, when he is the one person who isn't to blame.

And how ironic that he thinks everything would be OK if Peter had been secret keeper.

Aw, that part about how he will make Harry proud is so sweet. And sad.

I LOVE the last paragraph. It's so sad and nearly brought tears to my eyes. Remus's words are so emotive and I LOVE the comparison between the cold stone and how frozen he feels.

The fact that they died in a time of celebration must make it even worse. Especially since their deaths contributed to Voldemort's disappearance, since it'd make you feel as if being glad he was gone was being glad they were dead.

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad that you liked the description of Remus as he really is a heart breaking character from all the angst he screams out so I really wanted to show it here. Don't even mention the irony of it, it just makes me s sad :(

I know, that's why it makes me wonder if he had Harry in his life would he be so cold and frozen or would he be more open and happier. Thank you for a great review :D

-Kiana


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Review #62, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Pureblood's Secret: Liability

8th July 2014:
Ugh, morning practices on the weekend. That would NOT be fun. Mornings are NOT my best time. I'm currently correcting Ireland's equivalent of the O.W.L.s, so I tend to work afternoons, evenings and if necessary into the early part of the night.

Oh, good, I'd forgotten about Harry teaching Defence. Looking forward to seeing his classes.

And Burke and Matt are both ill in this story.

Actually, in some ways aren't there some similarities between Burke's situation and Remus's? I mean Remus could have injured the trio at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban through no fault of his own and Burke is now injuring students through no fault of his own. And both are due to medical conditions. I mean, it's not the same, since what happened with Remus was a one-off, as a result of a very unusual circumstance, whereas this is ongoing, but there are some similarities.

Oh yikes, if there are parents around and Madame Pomfrey is distracted from the full moon, it sounds as if those students might have been seriously injured. I assumed it'd just be a normal, "Madame Pomfrey can fix it overnight" typed incident.

And Albus could easily have been attacked if Matt turned.

I was about to type, "oh Gemma is so bold", but I guess you won't know what that means. It's Irish-speak for badly-behaved.

Oh, maybe the parents are just there to complain and not because their children are seriously injured.

Author's Response: Mornings aren't my best times, either. I always feel the best when I sleep until 9:30-10ish. And I always write best in the evenings.

There are definite similarities between Burke and Remus. Although Remus was a better teacher and his illness didn't affect his teaching as much as Burke's.

The parents were mostly there to complain, and they did have a right to do so. Burke's time at Hogwarts might be drawing to a close.

Haha, "bold" here tends to mean very out-going or brave. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #63, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and Slytherin's Office: Slytherin's Office

7th July 2014:
And I finally get around to reading this. *cheers*

Hmm, the man is somebody presumed dead. That did cross my mind when reading the last chapter.

Yi-i-ikes, THAT, however, is the last thing I expected. Older wasn't exactly an exaggeration.

This is a downright bizarre comparison, but the part about the younger brother reminded me of Padraig and William Pearse. Padraig Pearse was one of those who led the 1916 Rising in Ireland and William was his younger brother, who by all accounts, took part largely out of loyalty to the older brother he adored. Both were shot after the Rising, although there seems to have been absolutely no reason to shoot William, who wasn't even an important person among the rebels. He seems to have been killed solely for having a well-known brother.

This story explains some stuff I always wondered about, like how on earth did Tom Riddle find out he was descended from Slytherin, when it's questionable whether he even knew who his mother was and even more so, how did he find out about the Basilisk?

And I love the fact that the two men deliberately set up a mystery for Albus, assuming he'd be like his father. It makes so much more sense than that they'd have stumbled upon the clues completely by themselves and that none of the teachers or older students would have noticed anything. That makes sense if the villains WANTED them to be the ones to notice things.

This sentence seems to be missing something: "The best way of dealing with Harry Potter someone he loves."

Ah! It sounds like they are trying to prevent Harry from defeating them. That makes sense. Considering he defeated Voldemort at the age of 17 and without even completing his magical education, how much more dangerous an opponent would he be in his 30s or 40s, with Auror training and a good deal of experience behind him.

"I simply want the satisfaction to be the start of England's third wizarding war" sounds a bit clumsy. "The satisfaction of being" would probably sound better.

OK, I'm flummoxed, both as to how Albus survived and how Slytherin was killed. Looks like there's a lot of information yet to come.

I really love the way you have Albus react to Slytherin's death. Some stories just gloss over the deeds the good guys perform. And something like that is bound to have an effect on you. Even if Albus didn't intend to kill him, even if it would have been self-defense even if he did and even if Slytherin should have died long ago anyway, it's still a traumatic experience if he did kill him. Though I wonder if there's more to this.

Very surprising ending. Really didn't expect that.

And I am really interested as to what's going to happen in the later stories. I assume this'll mean Zajecfer will be on his own, but who knows?

Author's Response: It was meant to be surprising revelation. If you HAD guessed earlier that the man wass Salazar Slytherin, I would have been really surprised. Slughorn was not a bad guess.

Slytherin's brother is interesting. In canon no siblings are ever mentioned for the Founders, but it doesn't make sense for them all to be only children.

After I finished reading the HP series, I wondered what Voldemort did those 10 years of absence between working at Borgin and Burkes and re-applying for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. So I invented a reason with Salazar Slytherin, and planned to make an Albus Potter fic about it.

Since I know what I want to say, if a sentence is missing a word I don't notice. Thanks for pointing that out. I really should get a beta reader or something.

Looking back, quite a few of these sentences are clumsily written. I'll have to fix that sometime. I wrote most of this chapter in one sitting since I was so excited, so I didn't edit as I wrote like I normally do.

You'll see more of Albus's reaction about Slytherin's death in the next chapter. I was surprised at the end of Harry's first year that he hardly reacted to learning that Quirrel was dead. He just killed a guy! Even though Quirrel was bad, shouldn't an eleven year old boy feel guilty about killing a man?

A lot of answers are coming next chapter.


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Review #64, by MargaretLaneEvent 3 ~~ I believe you.: I believe you.

30th June 2014:
This is one friendship that would NEVER have occurred to me to write about.

And actually, I meant to ask you a few days ago, if you'd heard of Gerry Conlon's death. Did it make news in the UK like it did over here? He was one of the Guildford Four, jailed for a crime he hadn't committed.

*laughs at the comment that Voldemort wouldn't have Stan anyway* Yeah, I don't think he'd be much of an asset. But being an idiot isn't a crime. I grew up with stories like Gerry Conlon's (and that's not giving away much age, 'cause they were in prison a LONG time). I was reading about them in the papers when I was in primary school, so the parts in Harry Potter where innocent people were arrested rather resonated with me. I was cheering when Scrimgeour died, until it occurred to me that meant Voldemort had taken power. *laughs*

And now I'd love to read a sequel to this about what happens to Stan Shunpike the following year when Voldemort takes power and then what happens when he's released and how his time in Azkaban has affected him and so on.

Love the interaction between Stan and Ernie and how Ernie is almost a mentor figure to him.

Author's Response: It only occurred to me because I couldn't bring myself to write a Dobby and Winky and needed something a bit darker!

No, I don't recognise the name. I don't think it really reached the news, at least not majorly.

Haha no, he wouldn't be much of an asset. Laughed at you cheering Scrimgeour's death - he might have been better than Voldemort, but that doesn't mean he was any good.

Well in the next year, he gets out of Azkaban and is immediately put under the imperius curse. Maybe some time I'll write what happens when he goes back to the Knight Bus after the war. Especially if I get a challenge it's relevant to.

Thank you! :D


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Review #65, by MargaretLaneEvent 3 ~~ A Normal Boy: A Normal Boy

30th June 2014:
Yikes, I really don't think Hermione would be too pleased about the idea of being a stay at home mum. I really can't see her in that role at all, but I can't see Ron as a stay at home dad either and with two small children, one of whom is blind, I can see why one or the other of them would have to.

Like the idea of Rose being sent to a Muggle primary school. It seems like Hermione would want her kids to interact with Muggle children.

I think Hermione may be underestimating what Hugo will be able to do though. As we were discussing Dev, HE was pretty much blind, at least in later life. Didn't prevent him being the country's foremost statesmen. I read somewhere that he used to send an aide to visit places he was to speak before he did so, and get them to count out how many steps he'd have to take to get to where he was supposed to stand and stuff.

You know, this is REALLY in character for Hermione. It wasn't how I would have imagined her dealing with the issue, but now that I think about it, she is pretty overprotective (doesn't Harry mention at one point that if he told her his scar was hurting, she'd fuss more than Mrs. Weasley would?) and she also tends to sort of place her assumptions on people, like assuming house elves WOULD want freedom if they were properly educated, so it makes sense she'd want to protect Hugo, even when it might be better to let him do some things himself, like going upstairs with Lily.

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Review #66, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Pureblood's Secret: Spying

27th June 2014:
Yay, I was hoping this chapter would go up while I was taking a break from correcting crazily.

*laughs* In my next gen, Rose was going on about how could the Prophet be allowed post horrible stuff about werewolves. And people demanding more legislation and restrictions is exactly what happens next, although in my story, which came first is questionable, since stuff was deliberately leaked to the press by people favouring restrictions. But this still reminds me of it.

*laughs* Considering just WATCHING films, where they film from the top of a building sometimes makes me somewhat nervous, I have to agree with Rose on the idea that knowing rationally something is nothing to fear doesn't work. And I don't suffer from anxiety or anything; I'm just terrified of heights.

Plus Matt has SO much to lose that even a slight chance of ANY increase in restrictions is bound to worry him.

I'd actually LOVE to read about Matt's experience immediately after leaving Hogwarts and his search for a job and so on.

John is SO like Fred and George, willing to work so hard on pranks, but not on learning anything else.

I definitely AGREE Elsie has some kind of issue, but whether it's related to her family or to the murder (there's got to be something more than that, as she was acting strangely before it, but it could still be related, say by explaining why she was in Hogsmeade) or to some kind of personal issue, I don't know.

And I think John going to the library to spy on her is a bit pointless, since Albus would probably notice if she did anything strange there anyway.

One thing that's suddenly occurred to me. What is SHE'S there to spy on Albus. It's possible somebody in her family might be making her keep an eye on him for some reason.

Felix's reaction to finding her in the library seems to contradict that though.

*grins at the 7th years taking the "good" armchairs" near the fire*

Yeah, the idea of collecting your little sister after class, when you are at boarding school is a little weird, especially when she's in 3rd year. When my little sister started secondary, she actually banned me from meeting her after school, saying that if we met up on the way home, that was fair enough, but we weren't waiting for each other to walk home together or anything.

I wonder how Elsie feels about Felix doing it. Somehow I suspect it's more imposed on her than being her choice. I can't exactly pinpoint why I feel that, but I do. Probably comments like Felix being annoyed she joined the Quidditch team and the way she appears in the library and sits near Albus and Felix's apparent disapproval.

I also can't avoid feeling she's being pushed into something against her will. For somebody so quiet, she seems to get into a few strange situations, like sneaking into Hogsmeade against the rules. That doesn't seem in character somehow, even with the little we know about her character.

MY impression is that Felix is keeping an eye on her, either to prevent her giving something away or to ensure she continues doing as she's told.

I seem to be sort of in agreement with John here. I don't think Elsie is evil, but I do think she could be caught up in something dodgy against her will.

And I like the part about Albus trusting Angie more than any of his other cousins apart from Rose, even though she's comparatively young.

Author's Response: Ah, the Prophet. Never has it been one for truthful journalism, has it? I don't like heights either. If I were a witch, I definitely wouldn't be trying out for my house Quidditch team!

I've thought about writing a story that takes place after their seventh year that would explore Matt's job search, but I don't want to commit to anything yet. I still have to finish this one and write the seventh.

There is something going on with Elsie and that will be revealed later on. John spying on her was definitely pointless, but John likes to be right where the action is. He likes to feel like he's doing something. Ooo, Elsie spying on Albus is an intriguing idea... Now that Elsie is a third year, Felix walking her from class to class is definitely weird.

Elsie is always in the wrong place at the wrong time, isn't she? I think it will all make sense at the end. Or at least I hope it does! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #67, by MargaretLaneThe Banshee of Clan O'Kennedy: The Banshee of Clan O'Kennedy

25th June 2014:
Well, of course I had to read this.

Midsummer is pretty appropriate at the moment, as we've just passed mid-summer's day. I assume you meant that. Weird that it seems to be called midsummer's day around the world, when most countries don't consider the summer to start on May 1st, as we do.

LOVE the comment about the Irish stars always shining brighter than English ones. It's such an Irish thing to say.

And the last centaurs in Ireland? That's intrigued me. Actually, you now have me wondering if Ireland would have less species of magical creature than England, like it does with ordinary animals - no snakes, no moles.

I LOVE the line "all were merry, save for the banshee". I don't even know WHY I like it. It just sounds really good.

I presume you know Brian Boru died 1,000 years ago last April. I was thinking of writing a Founders era fic in commemoration - having students from Leinster and Munster dueling in the corridors over the result - but didn't get around to it. Anyway, a story mentioning Brian Boru is rather appropriate this year.

I'm totally willing to believe Seamus could have a brother, especially one who died young, but he could probably even have one a good deal older or younger than him that Harry didn't know about. SOME of Harry's classmates MUST have had siblings after all, unless single children are way more common in the wizarding world. Dean, Hermione, Seamus, Neville and Harry all being only children seems a bit much. It means Ron was the only one in his dormitory with siblings.

And I really like the fact that Seamus is afraid of somebody else in his family dying, rather than simply fearing the banshee itself. That makes a lot more sense.

Why did you have to make Seamus die two years after the Battle of Hogwarts? It's so sad that he survived a war only to die shortly afterwards.

Brilliant story. Apart from the reference to the "potato famine" rather than just "Famine" with a capital F, which is always a give-away, I would have thought this was written BY an Irish person if I hadn't known. In Ireland, the Famine is just "the" Famine and always gets a capital letter.

Author's Response: Hello! :) Ah, I'm so glad you dropped by - you really are the perfect reader for this!

In a lot of the folklore I've read dates like midsummer are sort of special, so it felt right to start the story then with a fairy romp. Though stories like this sort of play into the stereotype of Irish culture being very glamourized and idealized with rural life, I did really enjoy writing it even if the actual reality of life in Ireland is a lot more than a rural paradise like seen in some literature.

Haha, I'm glad you liked the line about the stars - it did feel quite Irish! I also was thinking that it added to the sort of nostalgia of moving from Ireland to England like Seamus and the other members of the clan do.

I sort of imagined that as well! Like the magical creatures would have been driven away from Ireland or slowly migrated away or something like the Irish diaspora.

You should totally write a Founders story about that - it would be so cool! I'd love to read a story about that and involving Irish history.

Ah good, I'm so glad you found that plausible. And yes exactly, what are the odds that all of them except Ron would be only children? Seamus' story was sad to imagine but fit well with canon, in a strange way. I quite liked writing it.

Yes! This way, he sort of gave a significance to the banshee instead of her just being frightening in her own right. She personifies death, in the way the dementors personify fear, although the banshee herself isn't an evil figure.

I'm sorry! :( He sort of had to die for the story to come full circle, though it made me sad to do it.

Ah, I feel like I should have known that about the Famine due to all my studies, but I've gone and changed it. :) Thank you so much - that means so much to me as I do love Irish literature and culture, and do firmly identify with my Irish ancestry as well. Thanks so much for the amazing review! ♥


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Review #68, by MargaretLaneEvent Three - The Misunderstood Nundu: A Special Bond

24th June 2014:
This is a really unusual creature to focus on, both because I think it only appears in the additional material AND because it isn't immediately appealing or innocent. Although I have had some sympathy for it on the grounds that it may not be able to help what its breath does. I guess that's not really the point though, as people need to be protected.

You set the scene really well at the beginning. I'm not good at description, so I really admire that.

The narrator is brave to face a nundu. I certainly wouldn't.

And aw, the nundus sound kind of sweet actually. Really interesting idea.

Author's Response: I really enjoyed writing this piece, as working with large animals is something that has always interested me. I particularly love great white sharks, and other animals that are demonized simply for doing what comes naturally to them.

Which is sort of how I pictured the nundu. I think there may have been one recorded instance in the wizarding world where a nundu attacked a person, but that was because it was neglected and kept as a pet, where a wild animal obviously doesn't belong.

But other than that, most of what I've read is their poisonous breath that does the killing. And obviously that isn't the nundus fault. People do of course need to be protected from it, just as the nundu would need to be protected from people. This was one of Lucy's motivations for joining this expedition.

But thanks again for your review, it's nice to hear that I did the piece some justice, considering I initially had to cut out almost 4,000 words to fit the House Cup task.

I do plan on expanding this story, probably sometime after the summer comes, as there is so much more LI feel Lucy can learn and achieve, and it was so much fun to write.

I also thought the nundus were adorable...Who doesn't love fluffy, furry baby animals, even if their breath can kill? They are still fluffy, furry baby animals with clumsy movements and inquisitive natures (:


--- Fae


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Review #69, by MargaretLaneFitting In: Heart to Heart

24th June 2014:
Love the different ways people portray the next generation characters. In my story, Albus and Lily are the close siblings, whereas it seems like in this, James and Albus are close and Lily is sort of left out.

I like the part about the Quidditch League illegally delaying permits to those who'd played Quadpot. It leaves me wondering what kind of rivalry is behind it and reminds me of the ban on "foreign and fantastical games" by the G.A.A.

LOVE the comment about "I'm a cuddly grindylow".

Ginny's description of her crush on Harry had me laughing affectionately. It was so innocent and must have been so hard on her, thinking he'd never like her. Poor little girl.

It must be hard on wizarding children really, having to go away to boarding school at the age of 11. I remember when we started college, how difficult a lot of people found it being away from home for 5 days at a time and these kids are 6/7 years younger than we were and away for MONTHS. I really LOVE the way you show a kid finding it difficult to fit in, because there is bound to be many who do.

And Ginny must have been very lonely to have become so dependent on Tom Riddle, so this really fits with canon. Lily really has no idea.

And I like the part where Ginny advises her daughter to get revenge on James and Albus. It shows that despite being an adult now, she still has her childhood Weasley sense of fun.

Great story.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a kind review! I was pretty nervous about this story as it's not exactly in my comfort zone (it's my only Next-Gen and my only story devoid of any male characters). So your review was a wonderful surprise!

I'm definitely glad you enjoyed the line about the "cuddly grindylow". I had to come up with something from the wizarding world that sounded ridiculous and for some reason I immediately thought of grindylows :p

I'm also glad you thought that Ginny stayed in character and that the problems Lily dealt with her believable. I'm REALLY glad you thought Ginny's comments about her own first year stayed canon compliant. I really wrestled with how she would describe it because Lily is obviously much too young to hear what really happened and I wondered if I had left it all too vague. So it's good at least someone thought if fit!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I really appreciated coming home to this!


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Review #70, by MargaretLaneEvent 3 ~~ Sunlight, Moonlight: Sunlight, Moonlight

24th June 2014:
Have to see what you've done with something fluffy. *laughs*

You've used the word "foal" a number of times in quick succession. I'm not entirely sure how you could change it, but it does sound a bit repetitive.

I was thinking of the fact unicorn hair is used in wands.

Love the descriptions of the unicorns.

Sorry for the short review. I don't have much to say.

Author's Response: Fluffy fluffy fluffy :)

YES, THIS IS UNNATURAL. WHERE IS MY ANGST?

I did so much fiddling with the words making it a) make sense and b) not too repetitive. Sounds like part of it needs more work. I'll do that, maybe... You know, most of the time when I say I'm going to edit I actually don't.

BABY UNICORNS :wub:

You don't have to apologise for short reviews! Especially considering all of the reviews I haven't left you... There isn't much to say about it, except UNICORNS! Descriptions of the unicorns... well that's the entire content of this story. Well, there are bowtruckles, but they're insignificant.

UNICORNS!!!


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Review #71, by MargaretLaneno light, no light: no light, no light

24th June 2014:
Yikes, I love the darkness of the initial paragraph of this story.

I also love the paragraph where she describes how Hogwarts feels to her now. You can really feel the ominousness of it, the castle that had been their school and home for so long has become something terrifying, threatening.

I also like the part about Mrs. Weasley clinging to normality and Hermione's hands shaking. I always feel Deathly Hallows sort of glossed over what happened to Hermione a bit. I know there wasn't time to go into everything or the book would have been about 5,000 pages long, but she was brutally tortured and it seemed like after a few pages, it was pretty much forgotten.

I like the fact that it is Luna who voices the first words of optimism. In some ways, Luna seems like one of the strongest characters in the series and I think, perhaps, she would be less effected by what she went through than others might be, because she seems to live a good deal in her head and let the outer world bother her less than most people. Not to say she wouldn't be traumatised, because again, she experienced awful things, but I think she might be better able to deal than most people.

I like the fact that you don't offer any easy solutions and that it's still going to be a long road to recovery, but that Ginny finally realises she WILL recover.

Just a couple of pieces of criticism and they are fairly nit-picky and probably more due to the nature of this contest than anything else.

The first is that there are one or two places where I think you could tighten up the language a little like leaving out the "that" in "she is afraid to the point that she doesn't remember what bravery feels like." I just think it'd flow more naturally.

And also the ending seemed a bit rushed. I know this is probably just due to the word limit and the fact that time was also limited, but the line about seeing Harry at Christmas does seem to kind of jump in very suddenly.

All in all, a great story that really captures how Ginny is feeling and realistically deals with the aftermath of war.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the feedback! Looking back I think you're right about some of the language here, especially the line you pointed out - I'll go back and do a bit of rewriting, so thanks for pointing that out! I also agree with the ending - it felt a bit rushed to me as well (admittedly I was rushing to get it finished so that's probably where that came from) and I wasn't sure how best to do the switch in tone/mood, especially from the beginning which is very dark, as you said.

It just struck me as I was writing this that the lion's share of Ginny's worst and most traumatic experiences (with the exception perhaps of the battle at the Ministry) have happened at Hogwarts. She has no reason to cling to it as the home she never had, like Harry does, so it's my firm belief that she'd find absolutely no safety or comfort in being there, and that it's both a reminder of everything she's been through and a terrifying place in its own right. Regarding Hermione, I think she's always had to take on the role as the 'strong one' in the trio and she's been aware of that for a very long time. She can't outwardly show the fact she's dealing with trauma - and of course the books are more focused on Harry and the plot anyway - but like you said, she's suffered horrendous things as well and that's going to come through. Luna's different again - she's suffered a lot, yes, but she's also a very logical person and very pragmatic in her own way (even if some people tend to paint her as just having her head in the clouds - she's a Ravenclaw for a reason) and she definitely has her own way of dealing with grief/loss/suffering in a matter-of-fact way.

Thank you so much, again, for this review - I really appreciate it!


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Review #72, by MargaretLaneI'm Sorry, But I'm Beginning to Hate Your Face: About Last Night

24th June 2014:
This hallucinating is beginning to get concerning. OK, that sounds stupidly obvious, but I'd assumed it was because she was drunk, but now it's beginning to seem as if it's related to her self-esteem issues.

At least Harley talks a bit of sense into Aeris.

And *laughs at the "finally"* They're still at school, after all. There are a fair share of people who've hardly been OUT with a boy or girl at that stage, but I guess considering how many people Harley's been with, it might seem like "finally".

LOVE the hints that Harley's interference hasn't exactly worked too well in the past. You give a real depth to your characters and a feeling that they don't just exist for this story, if that makes sense. There is a sense they've done other things and had lives before the story started.

I know Albus is angry because he feels Aeris doesn't like him and probably that she only used him because things didn't work out with his brother, but it's still not acceptable to use that kind of misogynistic language. Even if he doesn't really mean it about her (and I'm sure he doesn't), the fact that that comes to mind indicates he does feel differently about girls and boys doing the same things. After all, he's really criticising himself. If he had been telling the truth about what happened between them, it would have been HIM taking advantage of HER. I guess he'd rather she thought that than that she realised he fancied her, but still.

I'd still prefer see her get together with him than James though. I think he is a decent person, who just behaved badly because of how hurt he was, and because he's a teenage boy, who probably hasn't the maturity to realise how harmful those kind of comments are, whereas James seems to be pretty callous. And Albus does seem to really care about her, whereas James doesn't.

Author's Response: Well, in the morning she wasn't drunk. It was more like guilt. Like when you do something wrong, you are really sensitive to people around b/c of paranoia. Like you think they know. She was experiencing that type of thing.
Yes, there are many teens that go without that, but because its Harley who is much different from Aries finds that in a way is Aries breaking out of her comfort zone (although there are many other ways of doing that).
Albus was mean. Yes, Albus felt like what she said was rejection even though he didn't really confess. Anyway, thanks again for R&R!


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Review #73, by MargaretLaneI'm Sorry, But I'm Beginning to Hate Your Face: How it Happened with...Albus

24th June 2014:
Love the inclusion of Peeves.

And that part about her turning into a werewolf and Albus being a ghost was amusing. She really IS drunk.

At one point, Albus says "expect when you're with Valentine." I presume it should be "except".

Aeris really does seem to have low self-esteem. And I think James kind of took advantage of that in the last chapter. I know he despised her because he felt she was only interested in dating the son of a celebrity, but I still think he treated her pretty badly.

The way she feels about herself at the end is sort of concerning. I hope she gains some self-confidence as the story goes on.

I'm not sure "she constituted" is quite right in the last paragraph.

And I like the suspense you create as to how Albus will feel about her after this. Though he'd be a pretty horrible person if he judged her for something he chose to do with her. I guess he could be annoyed when he found out about James, but still.

Author's Response: Hi again =D Thanks for reviewing this! I, of course had to add Peeves. Even though Hogwarts is not a person, it still has character to it and Peeves is one of them.
Thank you for pointing out the grammar mistake ^__^ I am going to change that right way.
I wouldn't say she has low self esteem per say, but she is socially awkward & more like no self-confidence in social situations.
Yes, he did treat her poorly and he is going to later learn that she isn't what he thought she was.
Anyway, thanks for R&R!


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Review #74, by MargaretLaneI'm Sorry, But I'm Beginning to Hate Your Face: How it Happened With…James

24th June 2014:
I was going to say the description of James at the beginning was a bit more detailed than necessary, until I realised it was from the point of view of a character with a crush on him and that their absorption in him was the point. In that situation, I think it makes sense and gives us an immediate insight into their (not yet existent) relationship.

I like the way you give details like the fact she's in Gryffindor or that Rose fancies Scorpius. It's done very naturally.

That was actually a pretty cruel prank she played on those girls.

Hmm, James seems like a rather complex character. On the one hand, he seems to enjoy the attention of being Harry Potter's son and to take advantage of it, but at the same time, he seems to know it's all fake and sort of resent it. Or at least despise those who admire him for all the wrong reasons. And he seems a little...callous, maybe. He doesn't seem to even like her all that much, but he's leading her to believe he does and getting her to do things just to see if she will. There seems to be a rather hard side to him.

Love the way you describe Hogwarts at night. You're really good at description. I'm not, so I really admire that.

And yikes, this blowing up the pie is pretty cruel as well.

And oh Aeris, not a good idea to do something you don't agree with just because it's the guy you fancy asking you to.

Hmm, I'm now starting to suspect this will end up as Aeris/Albus and not Aeris/James. That scene between Aeris and James wasn't exactly romantic. It seemed like he was using her.

Author's Response: HI! Thank you for reviewing.
Yes, I put alot of detail into both boys description (which you will see Al's later) as Aries' POV and to see how she differentiates the two.
I try not to say details so bluntly all the time. It can interrupt the flow so in slide them into conversions to make it seem natural and realistic. So I super glad you noticed that.

James is very complex. And you analyzed him just right. He is callous towards girls for reasons that will be mention later. He likes the attention, but hates that its for the wrong reasons. He uses people to hurt them like Aries b/c he is hurt by the way people view him as a star.

I always tried to use descriptions. I want readers to see what I'm seeing in my mind like a picture ^__^

No, it wasn't romantic. I wanted to expose him to Aries and for her to see the truth behind James.

Anyway, thanks a ton for R&R!


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Review #75, by MargaretLaneHave a Biscuit, Lupin: Have a Biscuit, Lupin

23rd June 2014:
I LOVE the paragraph where Remus is thinking about how he'd feel if one of his students sat in his office, having gone through something like what he had. Really well written.

LOVE the way McGongall says that she may not "need" to, but will anyway. It just captures her personality perfectly.

Love the interaction between the two characters. This is a really awesome story. Sorry the review is pretty short.

10 out of 10.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have a lot of feelings about teachers in general, and about Remus and Minerva in particular - given that they are, to my mind, shining examples of what teachers should be - and they have quite an interesting dynamic as colleagues who were once student and teacher. I wanted to bring that to the fore, and Remus comparing himself with his own students is, I think, an effective way to do that.

I'm really glad you think so - I hold Minerva McGonagall in such high esteem so it's nothing short of daunting to write her, so it's a great relief if I've managed to keep her in character.

Thanks so much for the review - and not a problem! A short review for a short story - and I really appreciate it. Thanks again!


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