Reading Reviews From Member: MargaretLane
  
576 Reviews Found

Review #51, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Sapphire of Slytherin

7th February 2014:
I sort of like the fact that both Albus and Cho are nervous and both are trying to hide it from the other.

Yikes, I really didn't expect this ending. There has to be something more to it, because I know there's a sequel, so he can't be truly dead. I knew from its summary that something would "kill" him, but I assumed he would be revived before this story ended or at least, we would get some indication he might not really be dead. It's hard to figure out how he'll survive this. I guess that's one way of getting us to read on. What a cliff-hanger!

And it's rather ironic that Albus wanted to find the very thing she would use to kill him. Made her job a little easier.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review.

I didn't think anyone would expect the end in unless they have read the summary for book two. I thought it would be a real cliff hanger and people would be like "oh!" He has died! What is going to happen next?

I agree with you and I do think that Cho's way of killing albus is very sneaky and cruel.


Thanks again
HEG
:)


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Review #52, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Victor Dibble

7th February 2014:
Hmm, Victor Dibble, Emma Krum...I wonder if there's a connection.

And what looks like German. I don't suppose Viktor Krum would speak German and yet...it does mean this Viktor isn't English.

Ooh, that line about Victor Dibble watching his every move is creepy.

And I wonder what Scorpius is hiding. Like I said, I don't think he's a villain, but I don't know what else there could be.

"Nowhere" should also be one word.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review :)
In stories I like to try and predict what will happen next. I also like things that send a shiver down your spine and scary stuff! Scorpious is acting a bit mysterious isn't he? I mean he is supposed to be album's best fiend but h is acting weird.




THANKS VERY MUCCH FROM
HEG :)


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Review #53, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Familiar

7th February 2014:
*laughs at Rose rejecting any ideas she can think of because they'd break the rules* She is really her mother's daughter.

*laughs at Albus feeling nervous about crossing Slano's path* That reminds me of my Albus being nervous about facing Blackburn after she sort of freaked out that time. At least Slano had some reason to punish them.

I see Slano's point. It's not really fair if he has an advantage over the other students just because his parents bought him something.

She shouldn't just take their word for it like that. Somebody who only half-knew how to fly could claim they knew and then get into trouble. She doesn't appear to care too much.

And it's a bit unfair to be so judgmental about those who haven't flown. After all, the Muggleborns haven't exactly had much opportunity. I can see why she made a bad impression on them.

"Himself" should all be one word.

That's weird - that she'd tell him she wanted him to stay behind, then tell him to go. She's definitely hiding something, but what, I don't know.

And hmm, he recognises her eyes. Could she be Cho Chang in disguise, I wonder? Or could she be related to somebody he knows?

Author's Response: Thank you again for your review.
I thought that too when I wrote it. Rose clearly takes after Hermione but perhaps not AS studious. I thought that I would say about Alamo having something scary and mysterious about her. I'm glad that you liked it. Yes I didn't know which was more fair when I wrote it. Slano or Albus. I tried to make it quite even. But I also see album's point of view that he wanted to ride his own broomstick.

Yes I tried to make it a bit like she didn't know her stuff - sort of like a supply teacher. She is very mean.

I'll correct 'himself'

You'll have to wait and see!

Thank you again
HEG

:)


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Review #54, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: The Letter

7th February 2014:
Hmm, I wonder who Emma Krum is. I'm guessing she's related to Viktor Krum and she must be at least 27 if she was 8 when Voldemort was alive. Possibly much more as we don't know this happened at the end of his life. She could be anything between 27 and about...I don't know, 56? Voldemort's first reign of terror began about 1970, so if it was early on, she could have been born in the early 60s. I rather doubt that though. I've a feeling this happened later on; I don't know why.

Anyway, it doesn't exactly give much to go on. She could even be one of the teachers. If she was married, she could have changed her name. And I don't think you've mentioned any of your teachers' first names. Or she could be dead. So many possibilities.

Author's Response: I thought that you'd think it was Viktor's daughter. I think that this is quite an interesting chapter. I wonder what you'll think when you find out! Because there ARE so.many possibilities. She could be any thing. Literally. She could even be say. a Muggle I'm not saying she is though!

Any way thanks a lot. I love your reviews.

HEG :)


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Review #55, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Potions

7th February 2014:
Oh and I didn't mention this in my last review, but I would NEVER have expected Albus to end up at his own home.

Oooh, a new teacher. I love "meeting" new teachers and seeing how they are portrayed.

LOVE the fact that although Draco seems to have changed in many ways, he still looks down on Hagrid. It makes him a deeper character to have him neither exactly the same as he was as a teen nor changed completely.

Yikes, Polyjuice is a difficult potion to teach first years. Especially in a first class. This teacher seems to have high expectations.

*laughs at McGonagall's reaction to Albus saying the teacher was getting on his nerves* I'd imagine a headmistress would be fairly shocked at a student speaking about a teacher that way.

Seems like McGonagall is somewhat sympathetic. At the very least, she doesn't punish Albus. Fair play to her for listening to his side.

Author's Response: Hi.
Thank you very very very much for that great review. I thought it would be a good idea for Albus not to go back to Hogwarts but to somewhere else which he knows well. I also thought that it would be a good way for Harry and Ginny to find out about Albus's adventures rather than through a letter. I'm glad that you didn't know that would happen because that was my aim.

I also like it when new teachers are introduced because sometimes people just stick with the old ones and don't add any. I like the way in your story that you have a new teacher called Balckburn who is quite mysterious like Professor Slano. I also like inventing personalities for the different characters.

I also thought that if I put the Polyjuice potion as the subject then it would sort of show that Drame is very expectant and strict rather that doing easy subjects such as like shrinking plants. In the second book Drame is also featured quite a bit.

Yes I didn't think that McGonnagall would take Drame's side in the Harry Potter books. He is like a typical nasty Slytherin!

Thanks again,

HEG

:-)


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Review #56, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: The Escape

7th February 2014:
*grins* Well, there was a reference to Lily and Hugo discussing what houses they'd be in when they finally get to Hogwarts, so I think a lot of people have guessed him to be around Lily's age. I don't think his age has been officially clarified though.

And isn't it so hard to write summaries for sequels without giving stuff away. I have all the pronouns as "they" in the summary for The Rise of the A.W.L. so as not to reduce the number of suspects or anything.

Love the line, "the trees were like soldiers, guarding him."

Hmm, it sounds like Cho isn't as bad as she initially seemed. She doesn't want to harm Albus anyway, but she believes more people will die if he doesn't. That's intriguing.

Putting "something could have just snapped in her" on a separate line to what Harry says beforehand makes it a bit confusing. It sounds as if it's somebody else speaking. It would be better to put it directly afterwards. And there should also be a full stop/period after "said Harry."

Author's Response: Thanks for your wonderful review

Yes I think I'll check how old the people in the book are and maybe change it. I didn't think that it mentioned his age though, I guess people just have to make it up.

I find that as well. It is hard to write the summaries without giving anything away. I didn't really want anyone to even look at Albus Potter and the Lost Riddle if they have not read the Sapphire of Slytherin because it will give the whole plot away. Especially the first sentence 'Albus has just died' .

I liked that line too. It's a simile.

Yes that was Ying who was telling her to do bad. I made her sound very bad so it was suspicious by when you get to know her with the 'flashback' you get a different opinion.

Yes that mistake where I put the speech on the wrong line will be corrected. I have already corrected my other chapters with a few of the fab suggestions that you made and they are just waiting to be validated. In the meantime viewers will just have to read the old versions.

I am trying to keep all my stories as recently updated as possible because that way people don't have to wait.

Thanks for your support
From,
HEG
:-)


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Review #57, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Riddle House

7th February 2014:
Again a very intriguing chapter title. You are good at coming up with titles likely to create suspense and make people wonder what the chapter will be about. I've a feeling the Riddle House isn't likely to be a good place to be.

Perhaps the Sapphire of Slytherin is there. But then, if Voldemort had access to that, he'd have made a Horcrux out of it. And I doubt his Muggle family would have had access to it if he didn't. Or maybe they would. Maybe Morfin gave it to Tom Riddle as a gift, a token of her love. Or maybe it is a Horcrux and Voldemort isn't completely dead. So many possibilities.

It sounds as if there is something missing at the beginning of this chapter. I think the last chapter ends with somebody calling "Albus Severus Potter" and then this one begins with him responding to some mention of Riddle House, but I haven't heard any mention of it. It sounds like whatever was said to him is missing. Maybe you meant it to be confusing.

I'm now not sure whether to trust Cho or not. It's possible she suspects Scorpius, possibly even with good reason and is truly trying to protect Albus, but it's also possible she's involved with whoever the villains here are.

The line about "not only guarding the dangers of Sirius Black" should really have a "from" between the word "guarding" and the word "the".

*cheers for him managing to escape*

And poor Albus, he shouldn't blame himself. He'd no way of knowing Cho wasn't to be trusted.

Author's Response: hello again.
I'm sure that you remember Cho as a really nice character in the Harry Potter books but in this story she is portraited as a villan but she might or might not have an explanation.

So you have read past the bit where he escapes? Yes there are so many possibilities.

Probably my favorite chapter is "the letter" it's really interesting and you want to know what will happen. I wonder what you'll think of it.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes that I have made I will change them today; now

From HEG
:-)



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Review #58, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Parseltongue

7th February 2014:
Hmm, the title of this chapter is intriguing.

And I wonder if Scorpius is telling the truth about where he was or not. Albus doesn't know him very well, after all. I think he'd be as well off to be a little wary and not take what Scorpius says at face value yet. I don't think Scorpius is a villain. His comment about his father being grateful to Harry for saving him and hating the pureblood ideology now as a result of how Voldemort treated his family makes sense and I don't think his son would turn to evil after that. But I do think he might be hiding something.

Unless of course it was really the elf you wanted to introduce in the last chapter and you just had Scorpius take off to Quidditch practice to get us wondering about that, thereby not thinking how very weird it was to have the elf randomly appear on Albus's bed for what was apparently no particular reason.

"Professor Slano's" should have capital letters for the "P" on "Professor" and the "S" on "Slano" and should also have an apostrophe before the last "s."

I'm rather amused at them taking the class and can see why the teachers would be mad. It's pretty cheeky after all.

Again though, I think you have rushed things a little. They just seem to jump from being on the pitch to being in Slano's office. It would be nice to see a bit more of the teacher's arrival, get an impression of what she's like and a little more of the conversation she has with Albus, Scorpius and Hugo before we hear they got a detention.

Hmm, I wonder what the Sapphire of Slytherin is and why everybody is so concerned about it. I know McGonagall said it was something evil, but that doesn't tell us much. I assume it'll all become clear at the end. From the summary to year two, it sounds like Albus's life might turn out to be in danger.

OK, Professor Slano is starting to creep me out now. There's something scary about that smile. That was a really good line, actually, about the nasty smile. Those three words alone created a sense of menace and also a sense of her character. A lot of writers overplay things like that (I think I do myself), when a simply phrase like that is so effective.

I like the fact Katie Bell has a brother...what? About 20 years younger than her. It's a change from all the characters related to Harry's friends being their kids. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's nice to see a variety and considering how long wizards live, I don't think it would be particularly unlikely for them to have children with large age gaps.

And interesting, like his dad, Albus makes the Quidditch team in his first year.

Author's Response: Thank you for your fabulous review and your suggestions you have made to improve my story. It is good to get a review. Yes I liked the idea that Katie Bell has a younger brother who was the captain because Katie Bell was good at Quidditch too.

Yes I think that I did rush that bit from the lesson to the office a little so I think I might make a few changes to that.

The summary for year 2 sort of gives a bit away so that's why I've said its got spoilers.

I am going to change the mistake with the capital letters and the apostrophes.

Thank you again,

HEG


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Review #59, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: Wally

7th February 2014:
*grins* My thought was right. You WERE leading up to something interesting with McGonagall's speech.

I think you have Peeves completely in character here. That sounds just like him.

I do think, however, that things are a little rushed here. We seem to jump from McGonagall's speech to Peeves to the password. I think the prefect would probably say a bit more than that Peeves is a mischief maker and the password is this. He'd probably welcome them to Gryffindor and maybe tell them a bit about the school or show them where their dormitories are or something. Or even just remind them to be sure and check what the password is when it changes and to take care not to forget it or they'd be locked out.

*grins* That makes a lot of sense, that Harry wouldn't have talked about winning the Triwizard Tournament, since we know he felt he didn't deserve it AND it must bring back pretty awful memories for him.

Hmm, I wonder where Scorpius is and how he knows about the Room of Requirement. I guess Draco could easily have told him, but it seems a little odd he'd go there immediately.

And then there's the house elf. I wonder what he is doing on Albus's bed. I almost didn't notice how mysterious that was because I was too busy wondering about Scorpius's absence. Maybe it's really the elf that is important and the thing with Scorpius is meant to distract us. Or maybe both are important. Hmm.

I am wondering how come Hugo is in first year. Are he and Rose twins in this as well? Or is she not in Albus's year?

Author's Response: Hello.
Fisrtly thank you for your great review. I make make a few amendments to the Prefect's speech as yes, he doesn't say much does he?

The bit about the room of requirement you will have to wait a bit to find out what happens about that.!!!

thank you for saying about I got Peeves completely in character, I thought that that was quite a good speech.

Rose and Hugo. I thought that they were twins; are they not? Or does no one know? I didn't think that it was revealed in the book.

Thanks,

HEG :-)


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Review #60, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Sapphire of Slytherin: The Sorting

7th February 2014:
OK, I've decided to have a look at this story. *grins* Rather interesting title and summary. I don't think I've seen a next generation story about finding something before.

You do have a couple of spelling mistakes in the early paragraphs. You've spelled McGonagall as "McGonnagal" and "Headmistress" as "head misetress".

The hat's words to Albus seem a bit rushed also. It kind of says, "you'd do well in Slytherin" but then calls out "GRYFFINDOR." It would be good to get a little more indication as to why it chooses that house for him, either by showing it's choosing between the two houses, before it actually decides or by having Albus express his anxiety not to end up in Slytherin.

I always like sorting chapters and I think you particularly created suspense here, because between the fact that Slytherin is mentioned in the story title and the indication Albus and Scorpius will become friends, the possibility of Albus being place in Slytherin really seems to exist. I like that. It's nice when it isn't obvious where he is going to end up.

I'm wondering why James was being sorted here. In the epilogue, it's clear he was already at Hogwarts. Or is this ignoring the epilogue? Are Albus and James twins here?

Rather amusing to have James end up in Slytherin when he was teasing Albus about that. I REALLY wouldn't have expected that.

Hmm, I wonder why you've ended this with McGonagall about to give her speech. I wonder if she is going to say something significant.

Author's Response: Hi.
Yes I think I should have put Albus saying something like "Please, please, please don't be in Slytherin" or something like that. Also I think that I've spelt "McGonnagall" wrong throughout the book. Headmistress was spelt wrong. I will change that.

I like the type of stories that aren't very predictable like in yours I didn't at all expect that Rose and Albus would be put in Ravenclaw. I thought that it would be either Slytherin or Gryffindor. You do sort of get the hint that he's going to be in Gryffindor; but he's not!

The epilogue has been followed a bit but in my book, yes, they are twins as are Rose and Hugo.

Yes I thought that people would think "oh!" I thought he'd be in Gryffindor.

The speech. I don't want to give anything away. thank you for your amazing review and all the suggestions.

Thanks again

HEG


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Review #61, by MargaretLaneBlue Eyes: Blue Eyes

7th February 2014:
Yikes, getting a letter written in dried blood would be scary.

I've noticed one mistake in the early part of this. You've written that Albus had "one prizes".

Oh gosh, I can see this story being another that'll bring tears to my eyes. Albus's description of how he could never care for Ariana as his mother and Aberforth could is just so sad. It's understandable, I think. That kind of caring is hard and definitely a lot to expect of an 18 year old boy. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done it when I was 18.

Love your use of the term "the continent." I haven't heard that phrase much in recent years and by recent, I mean since the millennium or longer.

Yikes, that line about being afraid the fascination still held sent shivers down my spine. Creepy.

I like the way they bow to each other first, even though Grindelwald at least is probably prepared to kill Dumbledore.

Love the comparison between the physical pain of the curse and the emotional pain of Ariana's death and the guilt Dumbledore feels as a result.

And I really like Fawkes' feather being used for a wand, after coming out in this context.

I've always assumed it was Grindelwald who killed Ariana, partly because I'd rather believe that than that one of her brothers did so accidentally, but also because I think he was the most likely to be using spells likely to kill.

Yikes, this is sad. Dumbledore comes across as a broken man in it, a man who can never fully recover from what has happened despite all the other things he has to be proud of. Dumbledore has always been my favourite character in Harry Potter and I love this portrayal of him.

Really glad I inspired you. *grins*

Author's Response: Thanks for yet another lovely review! I will deal with that typo. Sometimes when I'm writing (especially short pieces) I get really absorbed by it - this was one of those occasions. I've heard reference to "the continent" more recently than that - and it is actually how Grindelwald's area of influence is described in many places.

The bowing is partly respect, but also delaying tactics. Neither wants to fight - yes, Grindelwald would be willing to kill Dumbledore, but he doesn't want to.

Fawkes' feather - if you remember, that particular pheonix only gave two feathers. One had already been given and the wand claimed. So guess who this one goes to...

I don't really have a belief about who killed Ariana - statistically it is most likely to be Grindelwald, because as you say he is most likely to be wielding lethal spells. The other possibility that I think is perhaps most likely is that her uncontrollable magic destroyed her - in which case it really was shared blame as they were all fighting and affecting her.

That's the impression I get of Dumbledore certainly by the end of DH - he is a broken man. And would you be able to recover from that? He was an incredible character to write, particularly this story. I'm glad you like my portrayal - I wouldn't say he's my favourite character but he's certainly an interesting one.

Glad you liked it.

- Leonore


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Review #62, by MargaretLaneFounding Hogwarts: The Fourth Pillar Breaks

5th February 2014:
I think you could remove the "at Hogwarts" from the end of the second sentence. "Hogwarts closed for the summer on the seventh successful year in a row at Hogwarts" sounds a little repetitive.

Oh, I was wondering why you chose a non-canon Headmistress. I assumed it was just because you wanted the four to be equals. I didn't realise there would be something more significant to it. I'm guessing this is going to set the quarrel in motion.

I like the way Helga is the only one who doesn't seem obsessed with replacing her. That is characteristic.

And I like the mention Rowena makes of her daughter. It kind of foreshadows the way her daughter will look for greater power also and creates a possibility that Rowena may be partly to blame for that, if she, even unintentionally, encouraged her daughter to believe she was likely to someday be headmistress.

I like the way Godric and Rowena stick up for Helga and the way she remains calm and doesn't overreact like the others do, but she makes her point all the same. I really like her character.

And yes, I think she should have yelled at him. He was asking for it.

Good story. I do think the last paragraph seems to rush in a little, but I'm not sure how you could change that.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! (I'll fix that repetitive sentence.)

We really wanted to represent all the founders fairly. Slytherin is often given a bad rap, and Hufflepuff is often shunted aside (she's our personal favorite).

We're glad you liked the story, and thank you for such a detailed response! You reviews are always fantastically helpful.


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Review #63, by MargaretLaneSubjugo Sempiterne - Forever Under the Yoke: Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

5th February 2014:
Not being a fan of Churchill, I'm inclined to feel his saying that is appropriate. *laughs*

Love the introductory paragraph.

And i like the way you have elves magic in tune with nature. You've created a nice difference between their magic and wizards', while at the same time making it clear their magic DOESN'T exist just for the purposes of serving wizards.

I love the general idea of this, as it points out that the assumption that loving to serve in in elves' nature is just wizards' impression and obviously they have reasons for wanting to promote that point of view.

I'm wondering about the betrayal, if Hufflepuff will betray her. Not much like Helga is supposed to have been if he does, but then there is no reason to believe people are like their relatives.

Hmm, I don't like his assertion that sometimes it's necessary to strike first. That could be used to justify all sorts of evil - "we did it in case they MIGHT do something to us if we didn't."

That part about Winifred keeping Hufflepuff as a pet is both disturbing and ironic considering what we know about how wizards will pretty much treat magical creatures, at best, as pets. The "good" wizards seem to see them that way; even Hermione believes they need to be "taught what's best for them."

It's also interesting how they fear her taking his wand, even though her magic is already more powerful than what he could do with his wand. It shows how wizards already have an inherant assumption of superiority in that they assume all other creatures want what they have.

And that makes sense - that Hufflepuff's rather disturbing views about attacking others in case they'd a attack you is the result of his nearly having been killed. It doesn't make it OK - as Winifred said, it's unfair to blame all Muggles for what some did - but it does make it understandable.

I really like the way you show the breach occurring and make both characters' behaviour understandable. It makes sense that he would have anger towards a man who harmed wizards and tried to harm him, but on the other hand, it makes sense that she would not want somebody harmed no matter what he had done. And I agree with her that "brute force is not power." An Irish hero, Terence McSwiney once said, "it is not those who can inflict the most but those who can suffer the most who will conquer."

Excellent first chapter.

Author's Response: I thought the quote would fit well with the chapter - I'm glad you thought so too!! I'm rather neutral when it comes to Churchill - it was just his words I liked here. :D

I was slightly inspired by Dune for the first paragraph. In style, not content.

When I started this, it was a bit difficult to decide how elves were pre-enslavement. Then I remembered how magical blockers that would impact wizards, wouldn't impact house elves. That got me down the path of their magic being fundamentally different.

Countering a widely held assumption by wizards was a main goal of mine for this. I got inspiration for the idea that wizard's would have their own view of history when Ron, Harry, and Hermione argued about whether goblins were really mistreated by wizards. That's also what put me in mind of the Churchill quote.

Hywell is much different than Helga (who is either his dauther or niece). I'm glad you're able to see that not all family members are the same. I haven't decided if Hywell is a bad seed from a good family or if Helga is an anomoly from her family.

That assertion is key for his actions in the near-ish future. I can't write out how he goes about it (it's against the ToS) but he does strike first.

I was definitely aiming for ironic with parts of the narrative. While Winifred was jesting about the idea (which she saw as quite ludicrous) it did sew a seed in Hywell about a threat from elves.

Fear for his wand is really central to his overall issues with elves after this. The idea that these rather powerful creatures can do magic regardless of a magical instrument throws his own dependence on a wand into sharp relief.

I thought it'd be necessary to have some explanationf or Hywell's rather abrupt views. He did take the event with the muggles to an extreme in terms of post-traumatic stress.

I'm really glad you like that scene! Their argument was the point I built up to over this chapter. I love your quote from Terence McSwiney!

Thank you for such a lovely review!! I'll PM you when the next chapter is up.

-Rose


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Review #64, by MargaretLanePolitics, Prejudice, and Pure-Bloods: Epilogue

3rd February 2014:
And I finally get around to reading this.

My historical references aren't as impressive as they might seem. 1916 is pretty much Ireland's equivalent to the American War of Independence; it's a pivotal moment in our history and VERY well-known. And I wouldn't even fully consider the Northern situation history. They only signed the Good Friday Agreement in 1998 after all and there have been issues since then too. It's as much current affairs.

LOVE the idea that Beauxbatons doesn't put as much emphasis on Defence Against the Dark Arts. It makes sense as France may not have experienced the same degree of dangers as Britain from Voldemort and the whole pure-blood thing or as Eastern Europe did with Grindelwald.

YIKES, I never thought that young boy would turn out to be so relevant.

And I LOVE the fact Nobby's reputation is being redeemed. It's about time!

Yikes at all of those who died in the first war. It's not surprising, I suppose, but it is rather sad.

OK, Flitwick's speech actually brought tears to my eyes.

And I love the dig at that self-congratulatory fountain. Coming from a country that was colonised, that whole paternalistic colonialism nearly bothers me more than the more directly insulting type. *cheers for its being removed*

And I'm delighted his fountain was replaced.

And yikes, that talk about people who died for no reason and how at least the people who died in the two wizarding wards died to some purpose reminds me of our stupid, stupid civil war. There is a song about Collins' death that basically expresses the wish that if he'd had to have been killed, it had been a year or two earlier in the fight for Irish independence when he could have been said to die for something, rather than in a stupid war over a couple of lines in a treaty.

And I LOVE Nobby's speech.

And I love the part in italics at the end. It brought tears to my eyes again. I LOVE the fact he declined the Order of Merlin.

Excellent story.

Author's Response: The boy was always going to reappear later, but when I originally wrote him I wasn't sure how. He was originally going to just write to Norbert or give a newspaper interview, to give Norbert some comfort, but somehow the idea of him being one of Sophie's teacher's occurred to me. I though it might be nice if he was someone we know, and Flitwick fitted the bill!

The sort of people who supported Nobby weren't the sort to stand back and watch while muggles and muggle-borns were persecuted - of course the would fight, and unfortunately they died. Nobby is one of very few who actually remember the riot, and he's very much alone in his position. It is sad, but this is ME writing - were you expecting it to be happy?

I'm so glad you found the speeches effective, especially Flitwick's. I'm honoured to think I can affect people like that. I often get a bit worried when my characters start monologuing - does it drag on too much? - but your reviews are reassuring.

I'm glad the golden fountain was removed - but do you realise you are cheering Voldemort? - the fountain was destroyed in the duel between him and Dumbledore, and may or may not have been repaired before the Ministry fell and it was replaced by Magic Is Might!

I think the speech applies to most, if not all, wars. In fact the themes in this chapter, and much of the story as a whole, can be applied to our world. I didn't originally intend to write a moral tale, but the situation made it natural. And the same themes are repeated all over the world, throughout time - Ireland and everywhere else.

I thought for a bit how to end it - whether to leave it with Norbert's last line, with it's deeper meaning. It could have been quite effective that way. But I'm glad now I didn't. I was going to have him posthumously awarded the Order of Merlin, but that wouldn't really have made sense and actually he would have declined it.

So glad you enjoyed it - excellent challenge!

Leonore


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Review #65, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the Potions Master's Solution: O.W.L.s

31st January 2014:
Love the fact that Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick are examiners. That makes sense. I'M actually an Examiner myself. I don't go around to schools, but I correct the Junior Cert. History exams.

I really like the way you show the importance of the exams here. Stories sometimes gloss over the actual academic part of school.

Oh gosh, the waiting is awful. I didn't have any practical exams but I had Irish and German orals and I remember overhearing the person before me in German being asked their favourite period of history and anxiously trying to figure out how to say "when de Valera was Taoiseach" in German, before giving up and just figuring I'd just say the Second World War, which I actually knew the German for. I'd be like Albus; I'd prefer go first and get it over with.

When the bang went off, I thought for a moment it was going to be something serious, like the murderer or something.

And poor Garth. He must be feeling pretty dispirited.

And poor Matt. He seems to be taking everything rather badly. He does have a lot to deal with.

Yikes, I didn't expect things to end like that with Young. I wonder if something will happen to indicate the true murderer before this story is finished or if it'll be an ongoing mystery into year six. I think you'll probably give us a solution in this one though.

Hmm, I wonder if McGonagall knows, or suspects something or if she just doubts the verdict because there are a few questions to be answered, like how he was supervising Cedric's detention at the time.

Author's Response: I can't see Flitwick and McGonagall sitting around doing nothing after retiring, so I figured becoming examiners would be a good career choice.

I hate when stories just pass over the school stuff. Hogwarts is first and foremost a school, so academics should play a big role in stories.

Luckily I never had to wait very long for results. Regents results were always out within days and computer based testing has immediate scores. I had to wait a while for my AP and SAT scores, though. I wasn't too worried about either of those.

Haha, I gave many fake answers in my French orals in high school. It was just easier and it's not like the teacher could accuse you of lying if you said your favorite color was blue instead of pink.

Murder during an exam! Now that would be interesting. My high school had a bomb threat during an AP exam I was sitting once. They had to bus us up to the middle school to finish it.

Well, there are still a few chapters left, so you'll see! McGonagall just doubts the verdict. She believes Cedric. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #66, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: Riddles and Mysteries

31st January 2014:
*grins at almost none of the Slytherins dressing up* I guess that makes sense.

That part about "Madame Pomfrey has no cure and if she does, her supply is limited" sounds a bit odd. If there is no cure, how could she have a limited supply of it? Unless the Headmaster is just saying it, it might be better to give one reason or the other.

And I like the fact she can't cure everything. It seems like a lot of injuries and illnesses get pretty much glossed over in the wizarding world, because they are so easily cured.

Love the title of the chapter by the way and the way Riddle is reminiscent of Voldemort.

*laughs at the "don't get all American on me"* I don't actually mind the way trick-or-treating has changed, because it has never that I can remember involved earning sweets and I don't think Wren boys sang when they used to go door to door either and I can hardly accuse THAT of having become Americanised, but I am not too fond of the number of pumpkins that are appearing at Halloween lately.

*laughs at the suggestion that Professor Zabini is a cross between a teacher and a vampire*

*also laughs at the difference being that one roars with pain and the other pours with rain*

Hmm, Gaunt doesn't seem too interested in the whole feud thing. I'm guessing he's got something bigger on his mind.

And now they really have given away that they are up to something.

Gaunt branded his son with the MIM sign? Yikes. I guess he wants him to be able to use it to intimidate people like Scorpius.

Author's Response: *says like a Dalek* Confusion must be exterminated! Exterminate! Exterminate!

Okay, back to HP now.

I was just writing what I know, as they say, because I go guising every year. I don't think I mentioned that many pumpkins...

You laughin' at my fanfic? Good! :)

He DOES have bigger things on his mind, and also he and his family have never been involved with the Malfoy-Potter thing and as Gaunt says he has no wish to spend every night in detention.

You don't know that he branded him for sure!!


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Review #67, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: James's Shopping

31st January 2014:
*grins* Being Irish, I think it is seriously awesome you've had the principal tell them about the old Irish and Scottish version, with the old Scottish name, rather than the more Americanised version. Since Hogwarts is in Scotland, it makes a lot of sense. As kids, we called it trick-or-treating, though I'm pretty sure we didn't even realise that was something you were supposed to say.

Don't the seventh years get to go to the dance?

The formatting on this chapter has got a bit messed up by the look of it. There are huge gaps between each paragraph.

And I like the name Omega. This Alpha guy really isn't going to much trouble to hide his and his son's identity, is he? It sounds like he wants to be known, so he'll be feared.

And I'm REALLY wondering what MIM could mean. I'm guessing it's significant since you are keeping it such a secret.

And I DEFINITELY know what you mean about being pleased when somebody is confused by various clues. It's always good to know the suspense is working.

I really like the way Albus and Severus want to be something completely different for Halloween. One of my best friends in primary school was a twin and I remember before her Confirmation, she was talking about how they definitely weren't getting similar Confirmation outfits.

Hmm, that's interesting, the possibility of Gaunt being a Parseltongue.

And now you've shed some doubt on whether or not the Gaunts are who they are claiming to be. It is POSSIBLE Alpha is just pretending to be related to Voldemort to create fear, but I don't know. If Omega is found to be a Parseltongue, that'll give some credence to the claim.

Rose is definitely suspicious that Daegan is a werewolf too. I suppose it's hardly surprising when he is going to be absent for the full moon and seems to know a lot about werewolves. Of course, now the question is whether she's right or not. I think she probably is, but you might well have something else up your sleeve.

Author's Response: I'm Scottish and every Halloween I go guising, not trick-or-treating. I thought it would be a bit more interesting that way, and I wanted to get a riddle in there somehow. :)

Did I forget the seventh years? *slaps forehead* Victoire will be so upset!

Formatting, for some reason, has only just started to become a problem, despite the fact that I haven't changed the way I upload stuff. Once the chapter for a different story has been validated I'm going to go through this one and do a big edit.

You think she's right? So does she! Of course, Voldemort also thought he was right when he started killing people, and Harry thought he was right when he started chasing the Horcruxes...Not that helpful but I can't start giving away plots can I? :)

Thanks for the review!


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Review #68, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: Perry and Billy

31st January 2014:
I actually laughed out loud at Goyle's boils singing "The Grand Old Duke of York".

Keane says they have tricks to "get of class." I'm guessing it should be "off".

And I love his attitude, like "I don't know what happens if ye fail." He really doesn't seem to take his job too seriously.

I wonder if the Daily Prophet is under orders to keep this quiet or if they just don't take it that seriously. I suspect the latter. I doubt they think it's a joke, but it is kind of hard to take a guy who says "I am the next Lord Voldemort. Fear me" seriously. It'd be like somebody saying "I am the next Hitler. Fear me," while just breaking in to a shop. You'd never believe that they were capable of actually doing it. I'm guessing this guy IS, as otherwise he'd hardly keep going for 7 years, but they don't know that.

Author's Response: I did too :D

I'll need to go back for these pesky typos...they're everywhere, like the cold and dangly earrings.

I just laughed out loud at the idea someone breaking into a shop and saying 'I am the next Hitler!' Hitler was awful and all, but that would be pretty funny.

And there's that word again, 'guessing'. Hee hee


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Review #69, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: Eavesdropping

31st January 2014:
This is something you are probably planning to do anyway, but I'd like to see a bit more of Albus and Severus's personalities. At the moment I'm having a bit of difficulty really telling them apart.

And a couple of lines later you mention Severus being argumentative. *laughs*

I might have missed something here, but I think it might have been clearer if you had Daegan say something like, "Double Potions with Professor Zabini this morning", as the comment about there being a Blaise Zabini in Harry's year seems to come a bit out of nowhere.

Love the description of the mouse. It's so wonderfully chilling and really gives a sense of atmosphere.

Hmm, now I'm even more suspicious that Keane is Alpha and Zabini is working for him. But maybe that is just what we are MEANT to think. I really must reread the description of Alpha and see how they match.

I really like the way you have Zabini speaking. Even though we don't see much of him in canon, I can totally imagine him speaking like that. And I like the way you are building on minor characters. I'm looking forward to seeing how you interpret them.

Yikes, expecting them to have a potion brewed perfectly by their second day at Hogwarts is expecting a lot. Sounds like Zabini is a pretty demanding teacher.

And you've pretty much made it clear my theory was wrong, as Keane says there is a new lord, so if he is him, Zabini doesn't know and I'd imagine he would.

I think it should be "how many other Dracos do we know?" as it's a plural, not a possessive.

Hmm, there's a mystery to Daegan too. My immediate thought is that he's a werewolf, but I've no real reason to think that. There is a full moon the first week of September in 2017 though, so it would make sense he'd be ill near the start of term if he were.

Hmm, with the sound that's almost like a bark, I'm beginning to wonder if my "out of nowhere" guess just might be correct.

Author's Response: Haha! Maybe this is mean, but I like your confusion about the plot. It's a mystery story after all. :)
They have stuff like the mouse in the biology dept. at my school, and I remember Snape had weird floating stuff in jars.
I typed this up on Word, so when I put in 'Dracos' it automatically put in the inverted comma. I'll get that.
I'll say this: you're not the only one who has suspicions about Daegan.
Ooh I feel so mean, not telling, but it'd ruin half the plot! Keep guessing.


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Review #70, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: The Hat Hates its Job

31st January 2014:
I always love sorting chapters and I'm particularly looking forward to this one, both because I want to know if the twins are in the same house and because of the title, which is intriguing.

I'm half expecting the fact that one twin is called Severus to be a hint he'll end up in Sytherin and Albus maybe in Gryffindor. Oh well, I'll find out soon enough.

Love the way you characterise Hagrid. His reference to something being one of his dad's sayings sounds just like him.

I'm also looking forward to meeting your teachers. I'm guessing a fair number of them are new if a man in his thirties is already Deputy Headmaster. Of course, he might just be exceptionally good. I have met even principals not much older, let alone deputies, but it still makes me suspect you might have cleared out a lot of the canon teachers. For some reason, I also like reading about new teachers.

And I like the fact that Neville points out that just because Voldemort was evil doesn't mean all Slytherins are. It sounds like something Neville would do.

Hmm, with the mention of Rose fitting Ravenclaw, I'm now wondering if the characters will be spread out among a number of houses. If there were four, I'd suspect you were going to put one in each and show a show of house unity, but with five, that obviously can't happen. Well, you could have one in each, but one would have to have two. I'm kind of suspecting Rose might be in Ravenclaw, Albus in Gryffindor and Severus in Slytherin though. I haven't seen enough of the OCs to guess where they might be and I'm probably going to be completely wrong anyway.

Hmm, this is really weird. How did Albus hear what the hat was saying to Severus. I know they are twins, but I still suspect there is more to it.

Something about Professor Keane reminds me of Alpha. If he were planning to come to Hogwarts as a teacher though, he wouldn't have needed his son to spy, unless he just said that to Draco to explain why he didn't need Scorpius to spy. He doesn't appear to completely trust Draco, so he might not want to tell him his plans.

I'm getting suspicious of everything now. *laughs* But I have a feeling there's a reason you had that teacher start this year.

LOVE the idea of a student teacher and Hogwarts REALLY needs a better History of Magic teacher. I won't go on a rant about Binns, although I could. He doesn't even realise myths are important historical sources!

I think Rose is being a little foolish here. Albus should DEFINITELY tell and he wouldn't get in trouble, because worst case scenario, it could make it a lot easier to identify the guy, unless the tattoo was a fake or something. I think it is realistic she'd think he was overreacting and not think it's worth telling anybody though, as it doesn't seem important and after all, she IS only 11.

Love the way Albus can't think of the word "telepathy" at first.

Author's Response: I just remembered Hagrid talking about how much his dad meant to him when I was writing this chapter... and a poster on my classroom wall last year... and boom!
Yes there IS more to that than at first. I kinda took the twin-thing where people say they can tell what they other is thinking, and, eh, well.
The reason he starts is so he can teach, right? :P
I always thought Binns should be replaced, and Ernie was the first canon character I thought would fit.
Yes, she is only 11. Remember, she's Ron's daughter as well as Hermione's.
And as it's a Muggle concept, he wouldn't know it very well.


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Review #71, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: An Interesting Start to Term

31st January 2014:
Sorry, I've just realised something I said in my last review was wrong. The whole "only things Lucius wasn't afraid of" is perfectly correct. Sorry, can't edit it now.

And thanks for clarifying the pronunciation of Daegan's name. That's probably how I would pronounce it, but it's good to be certain.

Hmm, I'm now really wondering what houses the boys will be in. It'd be interesting if they ended up in different ones.

And this kind of answers my question as to what Scorpius will be like. *laughs*

I think it is really interesting to have a Dark Lord with a son. It sort of adds another dimension to him and makes him less of a simple villain. We are left wondering what he's like as a father. Is he close to his son or is he just using him?

And I really like the way Scorpius mocks the boys for being twins.

Rose herself isn't pureblood, as her maternal grandparents are Muggles. I guess she is referring to her wider family, but it might be clearer if she said "my father's family is pureblood."

LOVE the way Rose half knows the connection with Gaunt. It makes sense that she would have heard something but might not remember the details.

Wow, I really didn't expect anything like the train being stopped. I should have guessed the title meant something, but I guess I just assumed it meant meeting Scorpius and Gaunt and all.

I think this is likely to be a pretty good mystery story, as already I am coming across things that don't mean anything to me until they are explained and then have me thinking, "oh HOW did I miss that?" And those are just the things where the answer is revealed this early. I'm sure the solution will have me reacting like that a lot more.

MIM - hmm, I wonder what that stands for.

Author's Response: Thanks for clearing the pureblood thing up, I wasn't really sure about that.
I'm glad it's a good mystery story - that's what I was hoping for. I'm glad you're getting those hints. :)
Like I said in my other response, NO SPOILERS! Although I will say that nobody else in my story (apart from Alpha's gang)knows what it means either. ;)


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Review #72, by MargaretLaneAlbus Potter and the New Lord: The Graveyard

31st January 2014:
I really like the villain you have invented as the new Lord. A grandson of Morfin's is a good deal easier to make realistic than a son of Voldemort's and it's more original (not that the former is impossible or anything, but still).

The part about Drumstrang also makes sense and explains why we've never heard of this character.

I wonder why he wants Draco so badly that he is willing to risk Draco handing the letter over to the Aurors. Interesting.

I like the fact that Draco's first concern is for Scorpius. I sort of feel sorry for him. He was pushed into doing Voldemort's bidding out of fear for his parents and now it looks like he might be pushed into doing this guy's out of fear for Scorpius.

It would be better to just report it. After all, there is no evidence at all this guy is any danger yet. But I guess it's in-character for Draco to respond as he does. After all, his family have never been particularly close to people like Kingsley and Harry and after what happened with Voldemort and the dangers his family faced, it makes sense he'd be reluctant to put his family at risk with another Dark Lord, even if there's as yet no indication this guy's anything but a wannabe. I'm guessing he'll turn out to be more though or there wouldn't be much of a story.

I do wonder if he's really who he claims to be though. I suspect he is, but it seems like a lot to give away in a letter to somebody he doesn't know will support him, so there is the possibility this person is just claiming relationship to Voldemort for their own ends.

One thing I've noticed is that you've written "the two things Lucius wasn't scared of." As there are two, it should be "weren't."

I like the fact he has become old before his time and is suffering psychological effects of what has happened. It makes sense considering the danger he brought his family into and then the time in Azkaban as well as their treatment at the hands of Voldemort. It makes sense it would have affected him.

Oh and I DO like the immediate connection to Hogwarts. We can see right away how Albus will be involved.

I'm wondering about Scorpius now and what side he will end up taking as he gets older. It looks like he isn't going to know what he is contributing.

Wasn't Crabb killed in the Battle of Hogwarts?

I do like the fact he chose the name Alpha. It immediately shows his arrogance.

And yikes, he has a son. I actually didn't notice that he said he was the second last. This could get interesting.

Hmm, I think it is interesting that Lucius says fearing death is irrational, though I guess after the life he's had, death might not seem so bad. I think he would probably have feared death in his youth.

And I love the comment that Draco wished he could be young again and see his father well. That makes a lot of sense.

And I've a feeling Lucius's telling Draco to trust himself will turn out to be significant. Whether it will encourage Draco to stand up to this new Dark Lord or encourage him to get deeper into the Dark Arts or something else entirely, I don't know, but I have a feeling it will influence his behaviour in some way.

Author's Response: Draco doesn't hand in the letter because he's scared of what Alpha might do to him if he turns him in and the Aurors don't catch him.
Yeah, Crabbe was killed in the battle. I wrote this ages ago for a different story and then re-wrote, but I forgot about the Crabbe bit. I figured I'd just leave it in and not have Crabbe anywhere else, but I can take him out if it bothers people. :)
Lucius mainly says that to comfort Draco, but it could be for other reasons...or not...
The 'trust yourself' may or may not influence him - no spoilers!
Thanks for the review :)


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Review #73, by MargaretLaneFounding Hogwarts: The Four Most Powerful Witches and Wizards

29th January 2014:
Hmm, that's interesting. It sounds like Helga is Muggleborn. Not that there's any reason she wouldn't be, but it's an interesting detail to add and could lead to conflict with Slytherin.

The only thing is that perhaps she comes across as a little young, considering the era in which she lives. I'm not sure what the age of majority was in Feudal England, but I suspect 14 would have been considered close to adulthood. I might be wrong there though.

Hmm, and we're already getting a bit of a hint as to why they may want to open a school as Helga has been denied the chance to study magic. I can really see conflict emerging as she would surely be anxious Muggleborns be allowed attend.

LOVE the fact that she doesn't like going to Salazar's home country. It sort of indicates the sort of atmosphere that will lead to his becoming the sort of person he does.

And I also LOVE the differences in their attitudes to house-elves. It shows a difference in personality. Even growing up in a society which I believe was pretty socially divided, Helga feels for the underprivileged, which fits totally with her character.

The wizarding refusal to understand, or care if they do understand, goblin culture is rather problematic, but then, no more so than using house elves as slaves. *laughs*

Really like the comment about Salazar not being a people person.

And the subjects you have them teaching really fit. I can totally imagine Ravenclaw teaching Transfiguration, which is supposed to be difficult and fiddly and OF COURSE Gryffindor, the brave, would teach Defence and Sytherin seems to fit as a Potions teacher, probably because the Potions teachers we saw in canon have been rather morally ambiguous.

I also really like the fact that there were less classes back then. It would be unrealistic if the curriculum hadn't been expanded at all in a thousand years. And interesting that Herbology is an optional subject.

And Salazar's attitude to Helga is totally realistic. So many people with prejudices tend to assume that when they meet somebody who doesn't fit them that they are an exception or "better than most". It makes sense.

And I like the way she stands up to him. The Sorting Hat's songs give us the impression she is a very nice person and possibly less of a dominant character than the other three, so it's nice to see a stronger side to her.

Hmm, all the founders except Helga seem pretty prejudiced in their different ways, but then that isn't surprising considering the society that they live in.

And it's interesting that Salazar is the one to consider the statues too intimidating. It shows a kinder side to him than the books lead us to expect, which makes sense as his later actions mean his kinder side is less likely to be remembered. I like the way you haven't shown him as completely evil, as the other three would hardly have collaborated with him and let him teach their students if he had been.

And now I'm wondering what turned him from a deeply prejudiced, but otherwise all right, person into the near despot he appears to have eventually become. I hope you'll continue on and give us some indication of that.

One thing I would say here, and this is probably just an opinion, but the discussion of the houses seems a little rushed. I doubt "but how will we sort students after we die?" would occur to them mere moments after deciding to HAVE houses and before the school even opens. I would have thought that wouldn't become an issue until the school becomes popular and they know it is likely to outlast them and they also become more used to the house idea and don't just have it as a "hey, this'll do to prevent us arguing" thing.

Love the summing up at the end of the chapter.

This is a really good opening chapter.

Author's Response: Yay, a review!

Helga's older than we typically see students learning they have magic; but it's advanced.

One thing I thought was unexpected/interesting is that the original conflict with Slytherin came from Hufflepuff, even though in the end after the fight it was more so with Gryffindor, as their houses reflect centuries later.

I/Freda loved the goblin line too! :D (I know that sounds odd coming from me, but Georgina was the one who wrote it so I feel I can say that from the reader's standpoint without too much shame.)

Georgina originally expressed reluctance on Slytherin teaching potions, but when we realized the Potions classroom was in the dungeons/type of area the Slytherin common room was at, we decided those facts are probably connected.

We really like Hufflepuff, (it's our personal favorite house), and the house gets very little respect so we wanted to satisfy "she took the rest" and that she had preferred qualities still.

Prejudice, I think, parallels to prevalence of true pure blood, as they both become more and more in the minority. I think it makes sense, well at least in my head.

Yes, if he had been completely evil there may have been only 3 founders period, which shows they must have been in (at least relative) agreement for a time.

I know it's a teensy tad rushed, but the way I see it Ravenclaw is smart and thinks ahead. In retrospect, I can see myself thinking the same way. If the school is built to last longer than you, there has to be some new way to sort students if you still want there to be houses.


Again, thank you so much for the review, and hope you enjoy reading/judging all the stories for the challenge!


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Review #74, by MargaretLaneThe Debate of Secrecy: British Wizardís Council Meeting

29th January 2014:
Love the beginning mention of Muggle history. And I really like the way the wizarding world is being used by the two sides. Can't imagine Cromwell being too fond of magic.

I also like the mention of her having a headache. It just makes her sound more human, somehow. She's so powerful and seems so in control so it's nice to see a sign of vulnerability and a reminder that she's in a very difficult job.

I like the way the names reflect the families we are familiar with and ooh, Brutus Malfoy - the name alone gives me the impression this guy is likely to be treacherous.

And I love the way Dumbledore wants to understand Muggles. Just like how his descendant would react.

I'm getting the impression Malfoy knows something or has something on Elfrida. He sounds as if he's referring to something the others don't know about and that mention of how "she let me stay" makes me wonder.

I can see this committee descending into conflict, given the mixed views of the members.

Honestly, I can't find anything to criticise. This chapter is amazing. It sort of feels right for the period, although I'm probably not the best person to judge, as I'm not very familiar with English history and culture at this time

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Brutus is going to be a very interesting character. From what I understand he is very anti-Muggle.

I agree, the committee will be very uncompromising, but they will get the regulations out. Not that a number of people will be very pleased about it... :(

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #75, by MargaretLanePolitics, Prejudice, and Pure-Bloods: Treason and Plot

27th January 2014:
LOVE the title of this chapter. It works perfectly. I'm familiar with the rhyme from reading British comics and although the event isn't part of our history over here, I have the general idea from what is in popular culture.

And the graffiti is chilling.

That group in cloaks and masks is reminiscent of the Death Eaters. I guess it makes sense that groups would hide their identities like that when breaking the law, but in a way, it still sort of foreshadows what is to come.

And OH NO, the Squib Rights Bill has been rejected. I didn't really expect that to happen, though I guess it's not really surprising.

Fair play to the Squibs for not protesting. Otherwise, this could really have turned into a Northern Ireland parallel - both sides ramping up their riots and the Government enforcing more and more draconian measures.

And yikes, Macnair gets off. That's not good. I can understand the fear though.

LOVE the use of the words "remember, remember" on the memorial. In a way, the memorial reminds me of one I've seen in Dublin to those who died in the Dublin and Monaghan bombings. It just says it's in memory of those who died in those bombings and then the names.

Yikes, that's a fairly involved list of false scandals. Apparently, false rumours of an Irish President having an affair were once circulated (again, they were believed to have been started maliciously), but it was disproven. And this seems way more involved anyway. But of course, the thing here is likely to be that people will believe what they want to and there are enough people against him who are likely to insist on believing it even if it were disproved.

LOVE the mystery about the Malfoy funds.

*grins at his travelling to Ireland* And actually that may make more sense and have greater precedence than you may have intended. Ireland prides itself on "giving people their privacy". Now part of this is just self-congratulations, but celebrities have come here to avoid media attention in the past.

Love the part about Nobert writing his version of events, the true one. Hope he finds some kind of success. The way he has been treated is completely unfair and really sad.

Author's Response: The forerunners of the Death Eaters - the idea didn't come from nothing, and I expect some already had their own - or at least their parents' - blood purist robes when they started rampaging as Death Eaters. As you said, it hides the identity.

You didn't? Nice to see I can sneak in a good plot twist. No, after the riots it was never going to be passed. (Partially because it is clearly suggested in canon - HP wiki - but also because that would underestimate the fear caused).

The Squibs don't protest: combination of them being scared, understanding, and used to being turned down. I don't think the parallel would have been possible because don't forget that pure-bloods can do magic and Squibs can't! It would have been short and messy.

Of course Macnair gets off. Corruption! In fact that is Norbert's big obstacle. There are blood purists in just about every important position in the wizarding world - on the council, wizengammot, controlling the press- so even with thousands of witnesses an unforgiveable curse may be ignored.

Turning the message on the ceiling for their own use - this is a refusal to be frightened. It was Norbert who originally intended to use Bonfire Night to his effect, then it was hijacked by blood-purists, before Norbert and team turned the message round and used it to their own advantage - proving they aren't afraid.

The fountain is actually the predecessor to the Fountain of Magical Brethren - as you can see, it has the same purpose. It is removed when Norbert loses power (there's the controversial "Squib children" suggestion, although they are not intended to be squibs, and also at that point Norbert is generally hated).

The point with the list is that it is ridiculous. The expenses scandal was inspired by fairly recent news here, the affairs by the majority of newspaper articles at the moment. The list is clearly not true, but somehow people believe it.

There is no mystery whatsoever about the Malfoy funds. The Malfoy family is powerful and respected. It is not what people know but what they choose to believe - and what they choose to ignore.

Threw in the Ireland reference for you - thought you'd like it! And my usual coincidental- err, well researched and carefully thought through inclusion of details which fit the situation perfectly and hint at deeper meaning. (That is occasionally intentional, mostly fortunate).

The epilogue will be along shortly, and until then you will just have to worry about what the future has in store for Norbert.

If he had been treated fairly, he would hardly have had the same impact on society and in fact his impact would not have been necessary. This would not make it into the history books.


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